100 Steps to Somewhere
by Page of Cups
Summary: CloudxRiku. There's more than one side to every story.
1. Chance Encounter

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Riku/Cloud

**Word Count**: 1,047

**Rating**: M

**Theme**: 01. Heart

**Summary**: It wasn't Sora, Kairi, King Mickey, or even his own determination that made Riku fight the darkness trying to invade his heard. A brief conversation during a chance encounter was all it took.

**Musical Inspiration**: HIM '_And Love Said No. . .The Greatest Hits: 1997-2004'_

**Disclaimer**: Riku, Cloud, and Kingdom Hearts are not mine. They are the property of some cool people at Disney, Square Enix, and other places, I'm sure, but the point is, I am not affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts or has anything to do with it. So there.

**Spoilers**: I don't know how to tell if there are spoilers, but I guess there are some slight spoilers if you haven't finished the first Kingdom Hearts game yet.

**Author's Note**: This is the first of many more to come for the Kingdom100 challenge. I'm including the music I listen to while writing every prompt because the music I listen to sets the mood and is quite important to me when it comes to writing. Hope you all enjoy.

* * *

**_Step One: Chance Encounter_**

There couldn't have been a stranger way to meet the person you wanted to be with for the rest of your life.

Riku had always known he was gay. At eight years old, he was sent home from school early after Tidus attacked a fellow classmate for calling Riku a faggot. Not knowing what a faggot was, he'd asked his homeroom teacher, and after a lengthy explanation about homosexuality and the varying viewpoints on whether it was right or wrong (though Riku had long stopped listening at this point), he was sent home. Riku found this unfair considering he'd only hit the boy in Tidus's defense, but once arriving, sat his parents down to inform them that he was gay. They were unsurprised.

Riku had always known that he wanted to go on great adventures. At six years old, he and Sora were already play-fighting with wooden swords, practicing their newfound techniques on each other. He'd always been a curious child—one of those kids into everything. One time, Riku managed to take apart the Asaki family television set without electrocuting himself. When he went home one evening at fifteen years old and told his parents that he was done with Destiny Islands, was setting off to see new worlds, and briefly mentioned a raft made of logs, his sister, Ayumi, laughed herself silly.

"That's nice, dear," said Mrs. Asaki. "Good luck on your journey."

Riku, somehow, got the feeling they hadn't taken him seriously.

Riku had always known he was a bit foolhardy. When all the seven year olds were afraid to jump out of the tree house after one of the big kids did it, little five-year-old Riku called them babies and did it himself. One broken ankle later, Riku promised never to do anything so crazy again. He broke that promise faster than his ankle healed, so when Riku found himself in Hollow Bastion, kidnapping princesses, short two best friends, and taking the orders of a woman he was sure was lying to him, he thought it might have been a bad idea to go see other worlds.

In fact, the other worlds that existed weren't even the kind of worlds Riku had in mind in the first place.

Then again, Riku had always known he was a bit proud, so he'd hardly admit the mess he was in to anyone, much less himself. Looking back, Riku knew there was one reason he hadn't lost his heart to the darkness earlier, hadn't lost it completely, even when he'd found himself in the World of Darkness. Even when he'd thought Sora and Kairi were gone forever. Even when he thought he'd never get out of Hollow Bastion for good.

It had to be the strangest way to meet the person you wanted to be with for the rest of your life.

Cloud was working for Hades at the time. He was an ex-SOLDIER, whatever that meant, and looking for someone Riku later found out to be Sephiroth. Maleficent was holding a meeting with some of her allies in the other worlds, and Hades was there, as usual. Back then, Riku had already kidnapped Alice and Snow White for Maleficent, and after receiving orders to go after another princess named Cinderella (with the return promise that if he succeeded, Maleficent would take him to Sora the second she found him), he'd been dismissed. Walking back to his room, Riku heard Hades going off about some guy named Hercules (his "hair" was flaming, Riku was sure), and then Cloud was sent out of the room to wait.

"High on the food chain, aren't you?"

Riku spun around, looking back to the spiky-haired blond man that exited the room.

"Name's Cloud. You?"

Riku surmised he probably fell in love with Cloud that very second. There was infatuation, at the very least. For years he'd carried around a crush on Sora, but Sora was young, immature, and tended to scream instead of talk. Cloud . . .Cloud was beautiful. It was his voice that caught Riku's attention, though. Soft, somewhat boyish, yet masculine.

"I'm sorry," said Riku, realizing he was staring. "Riku."

"So what are you doing here?"

"Maleficent . . .she's supposed to help me find someone. If I get the princesses . . ."

"What's this princess business about, anyway?"

"I honestly don't know." Riku paused, watching Cloud as he leaned against the wall. They were far enough down the hallway to be out of earshot, but Riku dropped his voice anyway. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Hades. I'm supposed to take out Hercules."

"Who's that?"

"Don't know. All I gather from Hades is that he's bothersome."

Riku nodded.

"Why are you working for him?"

"I'm looking for someone, too." Cloud brought a hand to his neck, slowly rubbing at his collarbone. Eyes shut, his head fell back against the wall. Riku stared. "This falling into darkness isn't all it's made out to be, is it?"

Riku stared at Cloud, watching his fingers move across his skin. He licked his lips and stared at the ground, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"I just want to find my friend."

Cloud nodded.

"Be careful. The darkness is a nasty business. Don't lose sight of the light."

There was no time to respond. The door down the hall flung open and Hades stormed out.

"Cloud," he snapped. "We're leaving."

Cloud nodded to Hades and used one foot to push away from the wall. He turned to Riku and smiled.

"Nice talking to you, Riku."

Riku had always known he was a romantic. He pretended the legend of the paopu fruit was a stupid girl story, but he'd always hoped it was true. When he was fifteen years old, a man named Cloud had smiled at him, and for the first time since arriving in Hollow Bastion, Riku smiled back.

He hadn't known it at the time, but there were plenty more meetings where that one had come from, and if he had known it then, the smile on his face would have been blinding.

Cloud had told him that day not to lose sight of the light, and for that, though Riku would never be so cheesy as to tell him, Riku knew he'd always owe Cloud his heart.

* * *

**Am currently uploading the first five chapters to fix some issues with them on that I wasn't aware of until after I posted them and was too lazy to fix until now.**

**The Kingdom100 Challenge at Live Journal presents one-hundred prompts/themes to provoke 100 fics on a character, group, or pairing from the Kingdom Hearts series. Each fic must be at least 100 words long. I claimed Cloud/Riku, and decided to make it a serial, hence the title of this story.**

**I apologize for the shortness of this chapter as it was the first, and I'm trying not to make these sections too long. After all, there will be 100 of them.**

**Thanks for reading, and please feel free to leave a review. They boost my ego.**


	2. Of Keyblades, Keyblade Masters, and

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Theme**: 02. Key

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Word Count**: 2,372

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: There seemed to be a lot of keys in Cloud's life over the past few days. Keys and the eyes of a silver-haired boy that he just couldn't shake.

**Musical Inspiration**: 30 Seconds to Mars _A Beautiful Lie_

**Disclaimer**: I am not affiliated with Kingdom Hearts/Square Enix/Disney/Final Fantasy/yada yada/Big Bird/or anything that I could possibly be making money off of. Maybe one day I will be rich, but I can't control the KH universe in any way. True story.

**Author's Note**: I walked around my bedroom for forty-five minutes last night after writing the first draft of Prompt #1 trying to decide whether I should really challenge myself by going in order with the prompts or just jumping around. Once I decided I might get confused if I jump around, I decided to really challenge myself. I then proceeded to say the word, "Key," to myself repeatedly until I fell asleep. Today, I randomly thought, "Key," to myself. Key . . .key . . . key. Keys. Keyholes. Keyblades. Keyblade Masters. Key lime pie. So, yeah . . .the theme of this prompt was key.

* * *

**_Step Two: Of Keyblades, Keyblade Masters, and the Key to Light_**

"I've been thinking about you."

Cloud was notorious for indifference. Aerith and Yuffie both had very distinct—though very different—ways of saying things. Aerith called him stoic and melancholy. Yuffie called him uptight and stuffy. Squall (wait, _Leon_), when he did speak, said Cloud was withdrawn and distant. Coming from _Leon_, that was something. Cid said Cloud was going through a phase and he needed to lighten up. Tifa just smiled and said, "That's Cloud for ya."

He had his close-knit group of companions, though he hardly ever saw them since Hollow Bastion was taken over by the Heartless. There were things that needed to be taken care of—things involving Sephiroth that Cloud preferred on most occasions not to think about. Cloud pushed away all things that bothered him or made him uncomfortable for as long as possible,_ especially_ when they involved Sephiroth. As Tifa would say, "That's Cloud for ya."

When Cloud ended up in Hollow Bastion again with Hades, this time run over by the Heartless instead of the home he once knew, he pretended it didn't bother him. Cloud knew he was alone in everything he did—whether his friends were there or not—and if he was going to be stuck with himself alone, he'd rather not torture himself over things like Heartless. While this made perfect sense in his head, Tifa would shake hers and say, "That's Cloud for ya."

So when he sat in on the meeting between Hades and his allies, he watched the lithe, silver-haired boy across the room. Something about his presence bothered Cloud deeply. The boy was young—still a teenager. He shouldn't have been there, and working for Maleficent at that, whom Cloud could tell from the brief encounter seemed to be the ringleader of this entire darkness/Heartless takeover operation. When Maleficent commended him on the kidnapping of two princesses and gave him orders on obtaining a third, the boy stared at her, his aquamarine eyes fierce, but yielding. He didn't know what Maleficent held over the boy's head, but he was a stubborn one. It was in his eyes; he wasn't about to back down, no matter how much hesitation swam behind the determination.

He had been, at best, a distraction at first. Dismissed shortly after the boy, Cloud followed him down the halls of Maleficent's castle before speaking to him, learning his name was Riku, and like Cloud, was doing the dark's bidding in exchange for assistance with finding someone. Only this someone, Cloud could tell from the darkening sadness in his eyes, was very dear to him.

Cloud hardly gave it a second thought when he left with Hades, assuming he'd never see the boy again. He'd smiled at Riku just before turning away, and though Riku delayed in his response, for a brief second Cloud saw the hesitation disappear from his eyes as the smile was returned.

It was a little over a week now—nine days, perhaps—and Cloud couldn't stop thinking about those eyes. They spilled emotions like Yuffie spilled secrets; every thought, every feeling in Riku's heart seemed to come out through those eyes. How could someone be so open and yet so guarded? It was very unlike Cloud to focus on something for more than a few moments other than his goal to finish off Sephiroth for good or his long absences away from those he called friends. Tifa might have said, "Cloud, this isn't like you."

The darkness was getting to Cloud; that much was sure. Originally, his plan had been to exploit the power of darkness to take on Sephiroth, but it'd backfired. He felt so lost these days that sometimes he just wanted to head off to Traverse Town just to see Aerith again. She always knew what to say exactly when he needed to hear it. More so, he found himself thinking about visiting Hollow Bastion—whether it brought him a great deal of pain or not—just to see Riku again. Those eyes held secrets, emotions, truths, and Cloud found himself wanting to know every one of them.

"I've been thinking about you," he whispered to no one in particular.

Shaking his head, he drew his crimson cape over his shoulders and entered the doors into Olympus Coliseum. Cloud crossed over the battlefield, his boots crunching on the ground. For a brief moment, Cloud wondered if there was no shame to the raging war between dark and light these days. Already on the battlefield was that loud-mouthed satyr, Phil, with a duck, a dog (?), and another teenage boy, probably even younger than Riku. He locked eyes with the boy as he passed and then turned ahead, set on not thinking about how young those involved seemed to be these days.

Riku was stuck in his head and Cloud couldn't shake it. His fighting—admittedly—was not in its best form as he battled his way to Hercules. _Just get through the qualifications_, thought Cloud. _Hades will help you find Sephiroth and you can finish this thing for good_. Visualizing Sephiroth didn't work either, as he kept turning into Riku. Cloud figured it had something to do with the hair.

He stood by Hades, only half-hearing him ramble about something, and watching as the kid—Sora, he learned—took his place on the battlefield. On the outside, Cloud supposed he seemed as calm and removed as ever, which was a good thing considering Hades' presence. Inside, all Hell had just broken loose, and Riku disappeared from his thoughts for the moment.

The Key.

It was as if a thousand pieces were clicking into place as he watched Sora swing the legendary Keyblade (it was, in fact, actually _real_). Though the kid was far from fantastic, he had some natural talent and an innocence about him that could only fit a Keyblade Master. Squall (_Leon_, he reminded himself, though who would want to be Leon Leonheart in the first place) mentioned something about having to find the Keyblade Master if the Heartless were ever to be defeated.

Cloud thought it was all just a myth.

"That little punk is your next opponent, okay?" said Hades, snapping Cloud from his musings on the actual existence of the Keyblade. "Now don't blow it. Just take him out."

Even more pieces clicked into place. So he wasn't just here for Hercules. Hades actually expected him to take out the Keyblade Master? Cloud almost laughed. Not likely. It wasn't that he didn't think he could do it, but honestly, kill the person meant to save the worlds from the darkness? Sephiroth would be a saint next to him for attempting that one.

Cloud glanced at Sora, the duck (Donald), and the dog-thing (Goofy—appropriate) as they celebrated their victory, and turned an empty stare to Hades.

"The great god of the Underworld is afraid of a kid? Sorry, but my contract says—"

"I know! You think I don't know? I wrote the contract!" Hades seemed to calm a bit, for which Cloud was thankful. He had been painfully close to rolling his eyes. "I know it says you're only required to kill Hercules in this tournament. But you've gotta fight that kid to get to him. Come on. Hey, its like that old goat says: Rule number eleven: It's all just a game, so let loose and have fun with it! I mean, a casualty or two along the way is no big deal, right?"

Cloud pushed away from the wall, lifting his gaze from the ground. He almost scoffed as he crossed Hades. A casualty. So that's how Hades was going to play this card. Torn between amusement that Hades would actually think Cloud knew nothing about Keyblades or Keyblade Masters and annoyance that Hades thought Cloud was so gullible to believe his flippant tirade, Cloud strode out to take on Sora.

----------0----------

When Cloud woke up, he thought several things at once: a) He'd refused to kill Sora, and Hades had sicced a giant three-headed dog on them; b) He was no longer in the Coliseum, but just outside; c) He was in a great deal of pain; and d) Riku.

He sat up, rubbing at his head as if it would tell him what had happened between the slobbering three-headed dog (hereafter referred to as The Cerberus Incident) and waking up on the steps just outside the Coliseum. Cloud supposed The Cerberus Incident was Hades' own little way of informing Cloud that refusal to kill Sora was a breach of contract, as now he could not kill Hercules having failed to take Sora out.

Cloud stared at the ground, mulling over thoughts a through d, when a voice interrupted.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Cloud looked up to see Sora staring back at him. When did he show up?

"Yeah."

"So, why did you go along with him anyway?"

Damn, this kid asked a lot of questions. Cloud propped his elbows on his knees, laid one hand on top of the other, touched his nose to his hands, and closed his eyes. _Be vague_.

"I'm looking for someone. Hades promised to help." He straightened, standing up. "I tried to exploit the power of darkness, but it backfired. I fell into darkness, and I couldn't find the light."

"You'll find it," said Sora. "I'm searching, too."

Cloud looked down to him. Who _was_ this kid and was he always so optimistic?

"For your light?" Sora nodded. Kids really _did_ start young these days. Walking over to Sora, he handed him a charm he'd gotten when he first started training to fight, enhancing the holder's weapon with an attack called Sonic Blade. Hey, the kid was the Keyblade Master, after all, and his prowess wouldn't suffer from some help. "Don't lose sight of it."

He passed Sora to head back into the Coliseum. May as well get the angry harangue from Hades over with so he could be properly fired.

"How about a rematch sometime?" Sora called after him. "Fair and square, no dark powers involved."

Cloud smiled to himself for a brief second, turned his head back toward Sora, and ran his fingers through his hair. This kid was too much.

"I think I'll pass."

----------0----------

The Cerberus Incident aside, the end of his work for Hades was painless. Except for now having to find Sephiroth on his own, Cloud found he now had a lot of free time on his hands. Sephiroth could be anywhere, so he headed to Traverse Town.

After checking in with Yuffie, Cid, and Leon, he went to Aerith.

"You've been gone a long time," she said. "Need a place to sleep?"

"I'd be grateful. Only for tonight, though. I'm heading off again in the morning."

"Cloud. . ."

This would be the part where she'd bestow upon him some fantastic wisdom and insight on his current situation (re: thinking about Riku all the time even though he'd only spoken to him for a few minutes) without him ever telling her the problem. He knew she meant well and he loved her beyond words, but good intentions were overrated.

"Not tonight, Aerith. The others told me there's been no sight of Sephiroth."

Aerith shook her head.

"None."

"There's no reason for me to stay here, then."

"I understand. If this is what you need to do, I'm behind you. You know that."

"And you know I'll be back."

She nodded. "Mmm. . .I know, but will you stay?"

Cloud looked away. Not if he didn't find Sephiroth, but he couldn't tell her that. One awkward glance to her face and he knew he didn't have to.

"Not tonight, Aerith."

"Cloud?"

He turned his head to look at her this time. He hated how understanding she could be sometimes.

"When you're lost in darkness, there's always a little light still shining. Hold on to it. It'll guide you through," she said. "I know settling things with Sephiroth is something you have to do to fight your darkness. Just don't forget all the things that bring you joy as well. That's the key to making it through all right. And Cloud?"

"What?" he asked, a little harsher than he intended. She didn't flinch.

"Don't forget that you bring others joy as well."

----------0----------

There seemed to be a lot of keys in his life the past few days. Keyblades actually being real. Keyblade Masters younger than Cloud when he first started fighting. Aerith's speech on the key to finding one's way through darkness. Now, there was a very real key in his palm to a recently vacant house Aerith, Yuffie, Cid, and Leon acquired in the Third District of Traverse Town. They hadn't taken up residence there yet, but Cloud knew Aerith didn't expect him back until long after they had.

When Cloud left Traverse Town that morning, he intended on heading to whatever world his Gummi Ship took him. If the key to finding your way through darkness was to follow the light, he figured the best thing to do was to follow where his un-Cloud-like tendencies pointed. He ended up in Hollow Bastion.

The town wasn't the same as it had been growing up—wasn't even close. Heartless swarmed everywhere. In Maleficent's castle (or as it was now, because Cloud had a hard time thinking of it as anything but where Ansem the Wise lived), he came upon the room he'd first seen Riku, and followed the hallway, listening for a sign of movement at every door he passed. Several turns later, he opened the door to a rather large bedroom with bookshelves against the wall, a large bed, and a desk, at which one bothersome, silver-haired boy was sitting, reading.

Riku looked up, startled, and seemed even more surprised to see Cloud standing there. Cloud figured he was expecting Maleficent. Those aquamarine eyes that Cloud couldn't shake stared at him as if unsure of what to say.

"Cloud?"

Cloud took a deep breath. He hadn't exactly planned on what he was going to say, and even if he had, he was sure to forget it by now. So he said the first thing that came to mind.

"I've been thinking about you."

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**Thanks for reading, and don't hesitate to leave a review. 4 out of 5 doctors say it is good for your health. The fifth doctor has amnesia and does not remember what a review is.**


	3. Working with the Enemy

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Theme**: 03. Secret

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Word Count**: 1,889

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku was full of secrets, though some aren't as secret as others.

**Musical Inspiration**: Flyleaf _Flyleaf_

**Disclaimer**: One day I will take over the world and work with Square Enix on making video games that are so slashable…wait. KH already is so slashable. Okay, well, I'm not affiliated with Square Enix, or Disney, or anything that remotely has to do with Kingdom Hearts. They make money off of me, and I do not make money off of KH. This is starting to seem a bit unfair.

**Author's Note**: I guess this just became a series. I had intended to keep them as oneshots for the prompts, but I guess each chapter will now be inspired by the prompt. Since I'm going in order and all as not to confuse myself. And I'm incapable of writing drabbles. I also want to say the only knowledge I have of FF!Cloud is what I've learned from wikipedia, some Final Fantasy site, FFVII: Advent Children, and reading Cloud/Leon fics. This Cloud is KH!Cloud. Who is hardly in the game so I have a lot to play around with. But I'm trying. My humblest apologies.

* * *

**_Step Three: Working With The Enemy_**

There was this prickling sensation Riku got on the back of his neck when someone lied to him. He'd had it forever; a sixth sense his mother called 'unnatural perception.' It was there when Sora claimed he only thought of Kairi as a friend. It damn near burned when that weird voice in the secret place egged Riku on to open the door to the heart of Destiny Islands. He had really wanted to see other worlds, though, so he thought at the time the reason for opening the door didn't matter so long as he did.

Maleficent could talk until the end of all time, and Riku still wouldn't believe her.

As if Snow White and Alice hadn't been enough, he'd gone after a third princess, Cinderella, and brought her back to Hollow Bastion several days ago. Today was Aurora.

"Why do I get the feeling this is all for nothing?"

"We have a deal. I am not one to turn back on a bargain."

"So why haven't I seen Sora yet?"

Riku knew he was snapping, and perhaps Maleficent didn't deserve it. She had given him a room, after all. Made sure he had a place to sleep, eat, and bathe. Still . . .they _did_ have a bargain, and so far, it seemed as if he was the one doing all the work.

"I haven't found him, yet. When I do, you'll be the first to know. I have many contacts in other worlds. If they saw him, I would know by now."

Riku huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What about Kairi? She's with Sora, isn't she?"

"That information hasn't been discovered, yet."

"Why am I supposed to capture all these princess again? What are you planning?"

"The Princesses are vital to my plans regarding the Heartless."

"Your plans to take over the worlds _using_ the Heartless, I suppose. You may think I don't know you're with the darkness, but I do."

"I know how intelligent you are."

"You're hiding something from me. How many of these princesses are left?"

"Three, but you need only obtain two."

"Why's that?"

"Someone else is bringing the seventh."

"I see."

"Child, don't think ill of my intentions. I've grown fond of you. If you want to look for your dear friend on your own, be my guest. There will be a place waiting for you when you come back."

"_If_," snapped Riku, and then brightened. "I can? You'll let me go look for Sora on my own?"

"Certainly, if it's that important to you."

"I wouldn't know where to start . . ."

"There are countless books in your room and in the Library. You could start there."

Riku nodded, said a quick goodbye, and dashed off to his room. Maybe Maleficent wasn't that bad after all.

----------0----------

Riku gathered nothing from the book in his hands. He'd already gone through a book on the worlds and their disjointed state, and was leafing through a book previously owned by a man named Ansem when the door to his room opened. Expecting Maleficent checking in on his progress, he looked up, and his eyes widened.

"Cloud?"

What in the worlds was Cloud doing in Hollow Bastion? Wasn't he at Olympus Coliseum with Hades?

Cloud took a deep breath, staring at Riku in a way that was a bit unsettling.

"I've been thinking about you."

Riku tried not to smile.

"I've been thinking about you, too."

Cloud looked awkwardly around the room.

"So," said Riku, since Cloud hadn't responded. The silence was getting to him. "What are you doing here?"

Cloud breathed deeply a second time and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I don't know. I don't do things like this often."

"You want to sit down?" said Riku, gesturing to the other chairs in the room.

"I think so." He crossed the room, grabbed on of the plushy mauve chairs by the wall, and dragged it over to Riku. "How old are you?"

"Fifteen," said Riku, frowning. Cloud had been thinking about his _age_? "Why?"

"You're younger than I thought."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-two."

"Oh. So, what does my age have to do with why you're here?"

Cloud shrugged.

"You're . . . you're driving me crazy, you know that?" He fidgeted. Riku figured he really _didn't_ do things like this often, whatever the thing he was doing _was_. "I can't stop thinking about your eyes."

Riku bit back a laugh. Cloud had been thinking about his eyes. While better than thinking about his age, it was just as unexpected. He considered asking what about his eyes as he'd really like to know more about this and it seemed Cloud didn't plan on volunteering any more about it, but he decided against it. Cloud seemed distraught enough as was.

"I've been thinking about you, too," said Riku. Maybe it would make Cloud feel a little better, or at least less uncomfortable.

"What have you been thinking about?"

_Oh, I don't know_, thought Riku. _Just that I'm obsessed with you._

"Your voice, actually."

"My voice?"

"Yeah. And your smile. And you're gorgeous."

Riku hoped that Cloud thinking about his eyes meant some sort of homosexual attraction, because if it didn't, he was pretty damn fucked for that statement. Cloud blushed. Riku breathed a sigh of relief.

"You think I'm gorgeous?"

"Yeah," Riku said. May as well get it out there. "I'm gay."

"I wouldn't have guessed."

"And you came here to tell me you were thinking about me when I could have been a homophobic prick?"

Cloud laughed, and there was that smile again. The smile and laugh really suited Cloud much better than the distraught frown he'd been wearing.

"I didn't think of that."

"You lucked out, then." Riku sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "So did you have any plans other than to come here and tell me you've been thinking about my eyes, or was that about it?"

"I didn't even have plans to tell you that. I just wanted to see you again." He looked at the books sprawled across Riku's desk. "What were you reading?"

"Nothing useful. Maleficent said I could look for Sora on my own, so . . .that's what I'm trying to do."

"Sora?" said Cloud.

"Yeah. He was my best friend on Destiny Islands—where I grew up. Maleficent's been helping me try to find him, but no luck yet. Why?"

"I just met a kid named Sora."

Riku sat up, eyes widening. This wasn't happening.

"What did he look like?"

"Short. Skinny. Brown, spiky hair. Wears a crown necklace. Asks a lot of questions. Carries a Keyblade."

"I don't know anything about a Keyblade, but that's my Sora. Where did you see him?"

"Olympus Coliseum. He was fighting in the games. Kid got me fired."

"Fired?"

"I broke my contract with Hades when I refused to kill your friend."

"Kill . . ."

"Yeah. Had to take him down to get to Hercules, but I couldn't kill the Keyblade master."

"Okay, that's the second time you've mentioned Keyblades. What's a Keyblade?"

"The Keyblade's a powerful weapon against the Heartless. Frees the hearts they hold captive. The Keyblade chooses its master based on the strength and truth in a heart. There's supposed to be three of them, according to the legend, anyway, and your friend Sora seems to be leading the pack."

"Why do you say that?"

Cloud shrugged.

"He's got the Kingdom Key. It's supposed to be the primary Keyblade. Not to say that the other Keyblade masters aren't as important, but you know . . ."

"Do you know where he went?"

"Nope. Sorry."

"Will he be going back to Olympus Coliseum?"

"To compete in the games, I'm sure."

"Can you take me there?"

"Are you asking me to help you find Sora?"

"Yes. Do you have a ship?"

"Gummi ship, yeah, but don't get carried away—"

"Look, Cloud, I want to find Sora, and you said you were looking for someone, too—"

"His name is Sephiroth."

"Okay, so we're both looking for people. And there's only one way to do that—actually go out there and do it. We can start at Olympus Coliseum and if he isn't there, we'll go to the next world. We're bound to find one of them eventually."

"And if we don't? I'm starting to think my chances are better hanging around Hollow Bastion."

"If we don't . . .I don't know. We'll keep looking. We can check back into Hollow Bastion just in case Maleficent's heard anything about Sora and so you can search here for Sephiroth."

"I don't know . . ."

"Come on, Cloud. It's a good idea. And we'll have each other for company."

"Maleficent won't like that you're working with me. She'll know about Hades cutting me off by now."

"She doesn't have to know. It'll be our little secret."

"Our little secret, huh?"

Riku nodded. "Yeah."

Cloud sighed.

"I don't know if this is a good idea, but okay."

Riku's face brightened; Cloud smiled back at him.

"When do we leave?"

"Before Maleficent finds out you're working with the enemy."

"I'll meet you outside."

----------0----------

Maleficent took it fairly well when Riku told her the books weren't helping and that he was just going to use dark portals to travel from world to world. It seemed she thought he was being a bit rash about it all, but she made no efforts to stop him. This was great. He was going to get to see more worlds, be active in the search for Sora, and—it had to be said—travel with _Cloud_.

Riku had chosen never to tell any of his friends he was gay. When he got older, being gay got harder—that brief incident at eight years old was only the start of Riku's exposure to homophobia. Sora, he figured, actually thought his jealousy over Sora's closeness to Kairi was because Riku had a crush on Kairi, when in reality, it had more to do with the crush on Sora. Not that he deterred those assumptions; he didn't know how Sora felt about homosexuality, and wasn't about to lose a friend over it.

Riku figured he was destined to spend his life alone. Instead of just finding someone who liked you back, he had to find another gay guy, and Riku wasn't sure how to go about that one. He'd long given up on his crush on Sora, but _Cloud_ . . .Riku couldn't help but think this might actually work.

He found Cloud outside the castle, and the two set off across the town toward where Cloud said his Gummi Ship was located.

"Hey, Cloud?"

"What?'

"When we're on other worlds—if you happen to run into Sora, please don't tell him about, you know, the gay thing. He doesn't know, and I'd really like to tell him myself."

"You're full of secrets, aren't you?"

"Isn't everyone?"

"I suppose."

"Cloud, I just want you to know . . .I like you. You know, like _that_, and even though I'm 'full of secrets,'" said Riku, laughing, "I didn't want that to be one of them. I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable."

Cloud smiled again. This really might just work.

"Not at all."

* * *

**It is hard to clever and witty when you write one of these every day, but...**

**Smoky the Bear says only you can prevent forest fires. Ivan the Elf says only you have the power to give clever, witty insight on an author's work.**

**I am terribly disappointed by the lack of Riku/Cloud material. So I am writing some myself. And when I sign up for my next challenge, I guess that will be Riku/Cloud too. I'm out to take over.**

**Mwa ha ha ha ha.**


	4. Ambiance

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Theme**: 04. Love

**Claim**: Riku/Cloud

**Word Count**: 3,119

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Cloud and Riku get to know each other, Sora and Sephiroth are nowhere to be found, and Cloud isn't any good at comforting distraught teenagers he wants to kiss.

**Musical Inspiration**: AFI : _Rabbits are Roadkill on Route 37_

**Disclaimer**: No. I still don't own Kingdom Hearts. At all. I still am not affiliated with Square Enix or Disney. I am still broke. Riku will never be mine. sob Ah, at least he's got Cloud to take care of him…

**Author's Note**: The prompt for this little section is love. The most obvious, of course, now that Cloud and Riku are all snuggled in the Gummi Ship exactly where I want them, is romantic love, but I think it's a little soon for that. _Budding_ love, however, is an entirely different story, but I think the theme of love permeates throughout this little piece in only a few of its many different forms. Enjoy.

* * *

**_Step Four: Ambiance_**

Autopilot on Gummi Ships, Cloud discovered, was his favorite invention Cid had ever developed.

After all, autopilot gave him the luxury to not have to actually steer the damn thing, but instead, sit back in his seat, and observe that they wouldn't fly into any unsuspecting worlds. By default, that meant a lot more time to talk with Riku.

Riku, Cloud found, was oddly interesting once you got him started.

When they boarded the Gummi for Olympus Coliseum, his ship proudly announced (in that annoying simulated voice Cid had installed just to annoy him) that the trip was estimated to take three days, seven hours, and thirty-three minutes. He set the control to autopilot, leaned back in his seat, and waited for Riku to start conversation. It wasn't an unnatural assumption; Riku was the one running his mouth back at Maleficent's, and it was his idea to travel together. Riku, however, sat silently in his seat, observing the insides of the ship, glancing out the window, and taking everything in.

Early on, Cloud learned that Riku was somewhat distant, with a quiet reserve easily broken, but hardly wavered entirely. Unless prompted into banter or lengthy conversation requiring thought, Riku's eyes looked elsewhere; his demeanor suggested that he might be listening, but not hearing. Small talk got Cloud nowhere. Riku needed witty or interesting subject material that grabbed his attention. It also helped if the conversation made Riku slightly embarrassed.

Having not yet figured out how to provoke such conversation, the first nine hours were excruciating.

"You wouldn't happen to smoke, would you?" said Riku, suddenly.

"Um, no. Why?"

"Do you mind if I do?"

Cloud stared for a bit.

"I know; it's a nasty, filthy habit. I've heard the lecture. From everyone. My mom, Ayumi—that's my sister, Sora, Kairi, hell . . .I even heard it from Maleficent, but it's been nine hours, and I think I might bite off my tongue if I don't smoke soon."

Cloud assumed Riku wouldn't _actually_ bite off his own tongue, but he wasn't about to take any chances. Riku had been picking at his lips for a few hours now, and if it had anything to do with a lack of nicotine, Cloud would rather him smoke than mutilate himself farther.

"Go ahead." Riku sighed one of the deepest sighs of relief Cloud had ever heard, pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, and lit one. "Aren't you a little young to be smoking?"

"I caved to peer pressure," said Riku. Cloud laughed. "No, really. I was going through this horrible, my life sucks, phase because I was obsessed with Sora, but he was obsessed with Kairi, so I went and made some friends in the year ahead of me at school. They smoke. A lot. I wanted to be a cool kid, too. So now I'm addicted. I don't really mind, though. I enjoy it."

"To each their own."

"I appreciate your leniency."

Cloud sat back in his chair again, staring through the window at the cosmos and worlds beyond. He didn't know what to say to Riku. His thoughts wandered to Aerith and Traverse Town. He'd just been there a few days ago, he knew, but he missed her and the rest of his friends already. It hurt sometimes, to be away from them so often, but if he didn't finish this thing with Sephiroth . . .

Aerith had said the first time before he left, it was okay to love your friends and to miss them, but you had to love yourself as well. Settling things, she said, was his way of doing something for himself for a change. Guilt remained, however, no matter how hard he tried to shake it. Showing up, and then leaving again. Aerith would probably say, he surmised, those short visits were just his way of showing he cared.

Cloud snuck a peek at Riku, who seemed to be in another reverie, still puffing on his cigarette and fiddling with his lighter. He seemed to be using his bottle of water as an ashtray.

"See something you like?" said Riku.

Now he'd been caught staring. If this could get any more awkward, Cloud hoped he wouldn't discover how.

"Well," said Cloud, "it is just the two of us, and it's awfully quiet. What have you been thinking about? You seem lost in thought a lot."

Riku sighed, dropped his cigarette into the water bottle, and lit another.

"A lot of stuff, actually. Is this the part where we get to know each other?"

"We ought to get to know each other, don't you think? I mean, since you like me and all, and we're traveling together."

Riku smiled. "Getting me on that card, huh? Okay . . . thinking about Sora. And Kairi. My other friends. Destiny Islands. My family. How I didn't expect anything to go this way or feel like this. Those kind of depressing things."

"Okay. Well, I know about Sora. Tell me about Kairi."

"She moved to the Islands when I was nine or ten. Don't know where she came from—another world, probably. Kind of a spitfire. Giggles. Has a lot of energy. Big mouth. She's a really sweet girl, though."

"And Sora's in love with her."

Riku raised his eyebrows at that and nodded. "Right. It used to be just me and Sora, but then Kairi showed up, and we kind of became a trio. It was even like an adventure at first," said Riku, laughing. "Getting to meet the mysterious new girl. It was fun, though."

"And your other friends?"

"There're six of us that hung out together. Sora, Kairi, me, Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka. Wakka and I are in the same year at school. Sora, Kairi, Selphie, and Tidus were a year behind us. There's this little island back home away from the main island where we'd go to play. Mostly we pretended we were great adventures battling evil. Sora and I used to kick the crap out of each other all the time with the new stuff we'd come up with. Guess it's a good thing now. I'd be shit out of luck if I knew nothing about fighting."

"What about your cool, chain-smoking friends?"

"Honestly, I couldn't give a damn. I feel bad, though. About the Islands. I mean . . . I wanted to leave really bad, yeah. I couldn't _wait_ to get off that damn rock, but . . .in retrospect, I think it may have been a bad idea to let the Heartless in to devour the thing. Just because I felt like _I_ was imprisoned there didn't mean I had to take the place out, you know?"

Take the place out? What . . .?

"I'm sorry," said Cloud. "I'm not following you."

Riku sighed again.

"I may as well tell you, since we're getting to know each other and all." He fidgeted and looked down at his knees, bopping them up and down as he rocked his heels. "I . . . I kind of opened the door to the heart of Destiny Islands. There was this voice . . . damn asshole told me it was for research. Thought I might be going crazy even, but the door—it's in this little cave Sora, Kairi, and I used to call our Secret Place.

"I was in there the night before we were supposed to leave on that stupid raft—"

"Raft?"

"Yeah. We built this crappy raft that we were going to cross the oceans with to see the rest of the world. Note how I say world, in the singular form. But there was this voice talking about other worlds and research on hearts and you could never open the door before, but I did, and the next thing I know there's Heartless swarming all over Destiny Islands, I've accepted darkness into my heart, and I woke up in Hollow Bastion. That was about . . . three months ago? I've been with Maleficent ever since."

"Damn."

"You're telling me. So, you know, I'm not just pretending to be a great adventurer fighting evil anymore. Seems I turned out to be on the other side."

"You're not alone. I'm stuck in the darkness, too. A good friend of mine told me that even in darkness, though, there's always still a little light, and if you don't forget the things that make you happy, you'll be okay."

"Yeah . . .I don't know. I guess I'm just a little—I wouldn't say _homesick_—but I miss my friends. And my family. I miss my mom so much I can't even express it." Riku paused. Cloud didn't know whether he should press the matter or not, so he waited for Riku to continue. "She . . .she was always so understanding and supportive. My dad wasn't around a whole lot, but I knew he cared. We just weren't very close. My mom, though . . .she probably would have sold her soul for me. Always told me I'd be great, and I could do anything I really set my mind to. She'd be so disappointed if she could see me now.

"And as far as my sister . . .I mean, after Sora and Kairi, Ayumi was probably my best friend. I told her _everything_."

"So why _did_ you want to leave if everything was so great?"

"Great? No, not great. I love my family. I love my friends. I even loved Destiny Islands in a way. I just wanted to go see what else was out there. I felt so . . . trapped. _Everyone_ knew me. I didn't feel like I could be me for me. I wanted freedom. I wanted to know why out of all the places I could've ended up I ended up there. I still want to, and it is great to be free. Doesn't mean I can't miss my family."

"I see what you're saying."

"What about you? Don't you have a family?"

Cloud laughed.

"Nope. Never have. Not as far as I can remember, anyway."

Riku extinguished his cigarette and stared into the ashy bottle. It looked kind of gross, but then Cloud diverted his attention to Riku's face. Perhaps he shouldn't have been so flippant about it. Riku looked as if Cloud just told him that his family had been brutally murdered in front of him and the memories haunted his every breathing second.

"It's not a big deal. I just don't. It's always been that way, and I'm fine with that."

Riku nodded, a half-smile returning to his lips.

"Tell me about Sephiroth."

"Sephiroth?"

"Yeah. You're looking for him. I want to know who he is. He's not an ex-boyfriend, is he?"

Ex-boyfriend? Cloud almost laughed, but Riku seemed honestly worried, so he did his best to bite it back. He shook his head.

"Hardly. Sephiroth is . . ." How did one explain Sephiroth? Really evil always worked, but not quite what Riku was probably looking for. "Sephiroth is the manifestation of the darkness in my heart. He's been taunting me, trying to get me to join the darkness since he was created and I decided that the darkness wasn't for me, and though I've killed him probably six or seven times now, he just . . . keeps coming back. I need to settle things once and for all—get rid of him for good. I figure the way to do that is to find the light within me, really cling to it, and give him a good beating once and for all."

"Sounds like a plan."

"You really thought he'd be an ex-boyfriend?"

"I _hoped _not, but you never know."

"Riku, I know it may seem like I've had a thousand lovers, but there really haven't been many, so you can relax. I'm single, and right now, I'm only interested in you. Happy now?"

Happy probably wasn't the word Cloud should have used. Riku still wore the half-smile, but those eyes couldn't lie if Riku wanted them to. They seemed brighter now, some of the worry gone. The corner of Riku's mouth twitched.

"Yeah," he said.

----------0----------

Two days later, they were nearing Olympus Coliseum, and Cloud found himself falling dangerously in love with this boy. Riku could talk for hours about anything once his interest was perked. Cloud liked to sit back and watch Riku as he talked. He never got hyper or over-animated like Yuffie tended to do. He lacked the calm, sweet, and gentle demeanor Aerith possessed and the feisty, brutal yet caring way Tifa said things. Unlike Leon, he tended to smile when he spoke, in that half-grin Riku way that Cloud had come to know well. He wasn't even loud and brash like Cid. Riku was, plainly, Riku—calm, collected, swore almost as much as Cid, and had an ease about him that was very open and comfortable. Riku was warm without being smothering, objective without being hurtful, and proud without being arrogant.

Cloud assumed that he was all-together fucked.

"We're almost there," said Cloud, checking the coordinates and taking the ship off autopilot. "What're you going to do if Sora isn't here?"

"We can hang out for a few days, right? When are the next games?"

"I don't really know."

"Doesn't matter. I'll find him."

But he hadn't found him in Olympus Coliseum. In fact, there was more damage to the arena than Cloud thought from The Cerberus Incident (though Phil invited him back any time to participate in the games), and when he boarded the Gummi Ship to tell Riku so, his eyes darkened a little.

"That's okay. We can go somewhere else."

With each world they landed on, however, there was no sign of Sora or Sephiroth. No one had seen either, most had never heard of them, and their journey was turning into a month-long charade before Riku was ready to throw in the towel.

"Look," said Cloud, "how about we go back to Hollow Bastion and check in with Maleficent. I can ask around and see if anyone's heard about Sephiroth, and you can see if she's heard anything. For all you know, the second you get back she'll have great news for you."

"I'm starting to think I'm never going to see him again."

Cloud wasn't sure how to handle emotional situations. He internalized everything, and Aerith was much better at these things than he. With more than a bit of hesitation, Cloud reached his arms around Riku and pulled him into a hug.

"If Maleficent hasn't heard anything, how about you and I set out to Traverse Town. I can introduce you to some of my friends, and maybe they'll know something about Sora, okay?"

Shivers ran down Cloud's spine as Riku nodded against his neck. Riku wrapped his arms around Cloud in a return hug, and dropped his forehead to Cloud's shoulder.

He really had no idea what he was doing as he ran his fingers through Riku's hair, trying to give him some sort of assurance. If he were in Riku's position and it was Aerith missing, he'd be a mess, especially if he blamed himself for the separation as he supposed Riku did for allowing the Heartless into their world in the first place. Unfortunately for Riku, Cloud wasn't the comforting type, and he wondered if maybe this hug was actually as awkward as it felt, or even appropriate.

How was he to know how to assuage a distraught teenager?

Much less a distraught teenager that he'd been thinking about kissing a lot lately?

Furthermore, how was he supposed to initiate kissing with said distraught teenager when said teenager was distraught?

Regardless of the outcome, he was going to have to head to Traverse Town soon. There were some things rolling around in his head that Aerith needed to clear up while he pretended he didn't want to hear it. Not that he ever wanted to hear it when she was saying it to him because it hurt his heart, but he always _needed_ to hear it.

Before Cloud really knew what he was doing, he'd placed a kiss on Riku's temple, and once he had realized what he'd done, he hoped Riku hadn't noticed.

"I was wondering when you were going to get the guts to kiss me," said Riku, turning his head, smile back in place. It didn't fully reach his eyes; he was still worried about Sora. However, for that moment, Cloud imagined that it was okay to push aside for the time being. "Would have been better if you'd have aimed for my lips, though."

"They were buried in my shoulder."

It was a weak, but true, protest.

Riku straightened up a bit, and pulled back.

"They aren't now." Cloud stared at Riku, unsure, uncomfortable, and did it suddenly get hot in there? Riku smirked. "Fine. Make me do all the work by myself."

It was awkward and clumsy as Riku stepped forward, tilted his head to the side, and his eyes fluttered closed as he pressed his lips against Cloud's. It didn't matter, though. It was as if his heart had swelled in his chest and a bucket full of cold water had been dumped on him at the same time. Chills and electricity seemed to be shooting up and down his spine, and Cloud found that he rather liked the feeling. A lot.

"I didn't make you do all the work by yourself," Cloud said against Riku's lips. "I kissed you first."

"You kissed my forehead."

"Doesn't matter."

Cloud pressed his lips against Riku's again, and the electricity/chills were back. Riku was a clumsy kisser, obviously inexperienced, but it couldn't have been more perfect. It was nice, Cloud thought later, to find something still so innocent when so much seemed steeped in darkness, he and Riku included.

Cloud thought back to Aerith's words the last time he'd seen her, and this time, it _really_ made sense. Not in the way it had before—in that metaphorical, theory way—but in that first person, personal experience way. He smiled.

There was always a little light left in the darkness, and Cloud vowed he wouldn't forget the things that brought him joy. He'd keep his friends close to his heart no matter where his fight against darkness took him. He'd keep looking for Sephiroth without forgetting that this wasn't about Sephiroth alone, but about what he needed to do for himself. As for Riku, Cloud hoped he'd be there every step of the journey, and if there was more kissing involved . . . well . . . that'd be just fine by him.

* * *

**Thanks so much for reading and please feel free to leave a review. They're a great source of inspiration.**


	5. Emotional Plethora

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Riku/Cloud

**Theme**: 05. Hate

**Rating**: M

**Word Count**: 4,595

**Summary**: Riku's finally found Sora, but it isn't what he expected.

**Musical Inspiration**: HIM – _Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights_

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, Riku would have been the main character, there would have been an abundance of slashy relationships, and I wouldn't be writing fanfic. _Fan_fic. So, yeah.

**Author's Note**: I have no excuse for writing this prompt a day late other than I have a spiffy 30 gig iPod that was in desperate need of some music. Desperate, I tell you. I might have died had I not put disc upon disc of songs on it. So, I apologize. I was going to write two today, but this one turned out so long I said screw it.

**Author's Note 2**: It occurred to me when planning to write this that I had no idea what weapon Riku used in the first game. I know he had a dark Keyblade somewhere near the end, but when he meets Sora in Traverse Town, he seems to have never seen a Keyblade and somewhat marvels at Sora's. So I made one up.

* * *

**_Step Five: Emotional Plethora_**

Disappointment was a nasty emotion. Riku hadn't meant to be so melancholy on the trip back to Hollow Bastion, nor had he meant to be so short with Cloud, but an empty feeling settled in his gut at the thought of this dead end. Sure, if Maleficent still hadn't heard anything (as Riku suspected she hadn't), they'd go to Traverse Town and check in with Cloud's friends, but Riku doubted that would lead to anything, either.

After all, Cloud searched for Sephiroth far and wide, and still came up empty-handed.

He tried to shake the disappointment and the depression inevitably accompanying it, but, disappointment was the kind of ugly emotion that tended to latch onto a person. Riku found that even when he wasn't aware of it, it lay dormant inside, and the second something sparked a thought of Sora—whether it was Cloud talking about his friends in Traverse Town or even the thought of the Gummi's destination—that same nasty nagging set in.

He was worried. Sora could be dead by now for all he knew. While Sora wasn't a bad fighter, he certainly wasn't good enough to handle this Keyblade master thing Cloud told him about. Riku always bested him in fights; a true heart didn't mean amazing battle skills. How was Sora supposed to survive without his help?

A silent prayer escaped his thoughts, sent to whoever might be listening. All he wanted was for Sora to be safe, and once he found him, Riku would be happy to take over things from there. It may have sounded arrogant, but Riku had picked up a thing or two staying at Maleficent's, and if there was anyone who could assist Sora with the Heartless, who better than someone who knew the insides of the operation?

Cloud sat napping in the seat beside him. Riku propped his chin on his fist, watching as Cloud's chest rose and fell with his breath. This was one good thing that had come from the ordeal, at least. Or so he hoped, because although he'd kissed Cloud quite a few times after the first one, and he reveled in those little adoring smiles Cloud bestowed upon him, he didn't know exactly what they were.

Riku felt restless. They'd arrive in Hollow Bastion in several hours, and Riku lit up a cigarette, hoping time would go faster. It'd be nice if Cloud were awake; he could use a good, distracting conversation. Unfortunately, Cloud hardly slept while they traveled the worlds, and Riku couldn't bring himself to wake him. He looked sweet slumped over like that, with his shoulders rolled forward and mouth slightly open. Riku wondered if he looked like that asleep—peaceful and untroubled by the darkness.

Four minutes. That was all that had passed.

It felt like their journey back was taking longer than the entirety of the past month.

----------0----------

"Where are you staying?" asked Riku.

Landing just outside the town area of Hollow Bastion (which was more like ruins than anything else, though a few shops remained), Cloud and Riku walked off the Gummi Ship.

"I'll show you when we walk by. Gotta pass it to get to the castle from here," said Cloud.

They set off, walking toward town.

"Make sure you stop by later and let me know if there's any news, okay?" Cloud added. "I mean . . . you could stop by for other reasons if you wanted to, as well. You know, if you wanted to visit. But definitely make sure you let me know how things go with Maleficent."

Riku smiled. Cloud had a tendency to do and say things that made him feel nervous, happy, and excited all at the same time.

"Sure," said Riku. "I mean, we're friends, right?"

"First and foremost."

"So if there's no word of Sora, we're still heading off to Traverse Town, right?"

"Yeah."

"And if there is . . ."

Which was so unlikely that Riku thought it was hardly worth the effort of checking.

"You go off and see him. If you come back, stop by and let me know."

"If I come back? Come on," said Riku, laughing. "Whether I'm staying with Maleficent or traveling with Sora, I'll be back if only to see you."

"Good. You know, if you were traveling with Sora, maybe we'd run into each other."

"Maybe you could come with us. Just in case we run into Sephiroth."

"Maybe."

"And maybe sometimes I could just travel with you."

"Just so we can see each other?"

"I like talking to you," said Riku.

"I like talking to you, too."

The sounds of Cloud's boots made loud crunching sounds against the uneven gravel path through what Riku imagined was once a quaint town. The Heartless had destroyed most of it; some foundations remained, but the roof would be missing, or large holes were hacked into the sides of the building. Other buildings were simply gone all-together, crumbled into mounds of rock and dust.

They turned a corner and came upon a little house, mostly still in tact.

"This is where I'm staying," said Cloud, motioning to the place.

"You sure you'll be alright out here with all the Heartless crawling around?"

"I can take care of myself," said Cloud, not bothering to use the old wooden door hanging off its hinges. Instead, he entered the house through a gaping hole in the wall. Riku followed him inside.

There was a lumpy pile of blankets pushed against the far wall. A wooden table stood in the middle of the room on which Cloud put his bag, and propped his Buster sword against. One of the windows was broken, and a pile of glass lay shoved in the far left corner.

"Stay here before?" asked Riku.

"When you need a place to sleep, you'll crash just about anywhere," said Cloud. "Beats sleeping on the Gummi, with those hard floors. At least here I can stretch out. And if the Heartless do get bad at night, it's not a far walk back to the ship."

Riku nodded.

"I guess I should just head over to the castle, then. I'll see you later?"

"You better. Or I'm holding it against you."

"Duly noted."

Riku hung by the hole in the wall, awkward. Should he just leave? Give Cloud a kiss or something? They'd been together every moment for a month now; it seemed odd to just separate from him.

Cloud glanced up from the table where he was sorting through his belongings.

"I know," he said, "it's weird for me, too. Which, in turn, is weird cause I'm used to being alone."

"Me too," said Riku. "Lately, anyway."

Cloud smiled, walked over to him, and placed both hands on either side of Riku's jawbone.

"You come back, okay?"

"Yeah."

Cloud bent his head down, and Riku almost breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't like this clumsy feeling he got lately with Cloud, as clumsy and awkward were, until recently, foreign emotions for him.

Riku leaned up to meet his lips.

"I guess I should be going, then."

"See you soon."

Riku nodded and climbed back through the gaping hole. He glanced back at the remains of the little house, and then resolved to not worry about Cloud when he had other matters to attend to, namely the trip to see Maleficent. It wasn't something he looked forward to at all; he hadn't left on bad terms, exactly, but he was nervous all the same. She didn't seem the type to just forgive and forget his tirade earlier on the day he left.

Walking into the castle was, in a strange way, like going home. Unease set into his heart at the thought; home was back on Destiny Islands in the warmth of the house he had shared with his family. This castle was cold and empty. It held no love or laughter.

Was this really what home had become?

He found Maleficent in the Grand Hall as usual. She didn't seem surprised to find him there.

"I'm so glad you're back," she said, in that even, cold way she said things. Riku found it patronizing. "I have a gift for you."

"You knew I'd be back," said Riku.

"Of course. This is your home now."

He tried to push away the thought that she might somehow be reading his mind.

"Don't you want your gift?"

Riku eyed her. The prickling feeling was on the back of his neck again. Was this a trick question?

"What is it?"

"You left this behind when you went to find that boy," she said, extending a toy wooden sword.

When the Heartless invaded Destiny Islands and wiped it off the map, he woke up in Hollow Bastion with nothing from home other than that stupid wooden sword. For some reason, Riku still had it strapped to his belt in the Secret Place and when he was sucked into the darkness portal. He hadn't thought to take it with him to find Sora. Still, it was the only thing he had left of his life before, and Riku wondered what she had done to it.

"How is that a gift?"

"Take it," said Maleficent, "and you shall see."

Riku reached for the toy sword, hesitated, and then snatched it out of her hands. No sooner had the toy been in his hands, and then a group of shadows appeared around him.

"Use it," said Maleficent.

He looked at her for a second as if she was crazy, but she seemed insistent. When he went to make a move, the toy became engulfed in green light. The weight in his hand became heavier, and when the glow disappeared, a long, black, metal sword with a sort of curled tip remained. He felt a surge of darkness shoot up through his arm as he defeated the shadows with ease. Once gone, the weight lifted, and he grasped the toy, wooden sword in its place.

What. . .

"What did you do to it?"

"It is infused with the power of the darkness. You need something to protect yourself with. It will only transform when you use it, and in that way, it will appear harmless."

"Easier to carry, too," said Riku. His heart sank a little. Even his toy sword was engulfed in darkness.

"I have another gift for you."

"What's that?"

"I've heard news of your friend, Sora."

Riku pulled his eyes away from the toy and looked to Maleficent. His heart picked up.

"He's been traveling the worlds sealing Keyholes with some new companions. I'm sad to say, he hasn't asked anyone about you."

"What?"

"He has new friends now. I'm sorry, but it seems he's replaced you."

The joy that had filled him upon hearing that Sora had been seen was punctured and sank; in its place, fiery rage lashed out at Maleficent.

"Sora wouldn't do that. He isn't like that."

"I regret to be the one to tell you. . ."

"I don't believe it."

"I was afraid you'd say that. Very well. I suppose you have a right to see for yourself. He's been seen in Traverse Town just this morning. He may still be there. I can take you there myself if you like."

Traverse Town . . . if he set out with Cloud, Sora might be gone by the time he arrived. They'd actually been on the right track, though.

It would be all right. Once he saw Sora and talked to him, he was sure the confusion would all be cleared up. Sora was a friendly guy and tended to make friends wherever he went. Riku had found Cloud. Just because Sora had some new friends didn't mean he'd been replaced. Maleficent was obviously misinterpreting the information.

"Okay. Take me. I want to see him."

"As you wish."

----------0----------

They exited a dark portal in the First District of Traverse Town. The place seemed devoid of Heartless.

"If you don't mind," said Riku, "I'd like to be alone for this. I need to do it on my own."

"I'll be here when you need to find me," she replied.

Riku wandered across the cobbled streets of Traverse Town and stopped in the Accessory Shop. Behind the counter was a tall, rugged man with blond hair chewing on a piece of straw.

"Hi," said Riku.

"Can I help you, kid?"

"Yeah, actually. At least I hope. I'm looking for my friend, Sora. He was supposed to have been seen here recently."

"Sora, yeah. He was just here. Headed over the Third District for me. Asked him to drop a book off at the old magician's place."

"The Third District?" said Riku, his heart lifting. "How do I get there?"

"Out the door over there, go down the steps right in front of ya, and head through the big doors to the left. You can't miss it."

"Thanks."

Riku was beside himself racing out the door of the shop and down the stairs. He noticed Maleficent watching him from an outdoor café as he headed to the left. The doors were huge, and he passed through into the Third District.

Heartless must have been unable to get into the First District, because though it was empty in the previous section, here, it was covered in Heartless.

He felt somewhat stupid pulling out that wooden sword and fighting the Heartless with it, but once it transformed, it became far less embarrassing. He wiped out a last group of soldiers, stood, and heard a gasp. Sora was standing before him flanked by what looked like an oversized duck and what was possibly an oversized dog walking on its hind legs. They were both clothed. These were his new companions? Riku knew Sora liked everyone, but really. . .

"There you are," said Riku, smiling. "What's going on?"

He tucked that wooden sword away before Sora could see.

"Riku!" Sora said. He ran up to Riku and pinched his cheeks.

"Hey, hey, cut it out!" He pushed Sora away.

See? Sora hadn't replaced him.

"I'm not dreaming this time, right?"

"I hope not. Took forever to find you."

"Riku!" said Sora, laughing. "Wait a second, where's Kairi?"

Riku frowned. Where's Kairi? Sora had seen him disappear into the portal without Kairi.

"Isn't she with you?" said Riku without thinking. Obviously not. "Well, don't worry. I'm sure she made if off the island, too. We're finally free. Hey, she might even be looking for us now."

Riku was more than a little concerned that Kairi, whom Sora was supposed to be in love with, was missing, and Sora had assumed he and Kairi were together without questioning it.

"We'll all be together again soon," said Riku, hoping to reassure them both. "Don't worry. Just leave everything to me. I know this—"

The sound of a defeated Heartless cut through his ears and Riku turned to see Sora, Keyblade drawn. Sora gave him a smirk and stood.

"Leave it to who?"

Heartless hadn't exactly been what Riku was thinking about, but if that wasn't the brattiest grin he'd ever seen on Sora.

"Sora, what did you—"

"I've been looking for you and Kairi, too, with their help."

Sora motioned to the duck and dog-thing. They nodded. Riku felt more than a little annoyed. He was trying to be reassuring and all Sora could do was give him cocky smirks and point out in a bratty tone about how he'd been looking for them like he was some kind of hero? And emphasize that he'd done it with the help of others?

"But who are they?" said Riku. He really didn't think he should have to ask, but Sora seemed incapable of the manners it took to introduce new friends to old ones.

"Ahem," said the duck-thing. "My name is—"

"We've visited so many places and worlds looking for you."

Riku felt like gritting his teeth. Sora, it appeared, also lacked the manners to allow new and old friends to make their own introductions. Not to mention, there he had gone again pointing out that he had gone and visited so many places and worlds like he was something special. Riku had visited places and worlds looking for Sora, too, but he wasn't bragging about it, and was practically sick with worry at not finding him. Sora was unfazed.

"Really?" said Riku, trying his best to sound nonchalant. No need to start a war. "Well, what do you know? I never would have guessed."

"Oh, and guess what?" said the dog-thing. "Sora's the Keyblade master."

Yeah, so Riku heard.

"Who would've thought it?" said the duck-thing.

"What's that mean?" snapped Sora, practically lunging at his new friend.

Riku picked the Keyblade from Sora and turned it over. He'd have to tell Cloud when he saw him again that he'd actually gotten to hold it. Cloud really enjoyed knowing Keyblades were real. Riku thought maybe it gave him hope.

"So, this is called a Keyblade?" said Riku, holding it up and turning it over.

"Huh? Hey, give it back," Sora snapped. Riku blinked. Sora wouldn't even let him hold his precious new Keyblade. Riku smirked. Two could play this game.

He backed away, eyeing it for a moment.

"Catch," he said, and tossed it back to Sora.

"Whoa."

Sora caught it in his clumsy hands. Riku had been right; Sora couldn't handle this thing on his own, but it sure seemed like all the praise he was getting for being a Keyblade master had gone to his head.

"Okay," said Sora, "so you're coming with us, right? We've got this awesome rocket. Wait 'til you see it."

Riku opened his mouth to say he hadn't decided what he'd be doing yet, but the duck-thing cut him off.

"No, he can't come."

"What?" said Sora.

"Forget it!"

"Oh, come on! He's my friend!"

"I don't care."

Riku walked to the back of the Third District, sat, and pressed his back against the wall there.

"Huh? He's gone," Riku heard the dog-thing say over the bickering.

"Riku?" said Sora. "Nice going. Oh well, at least he's okay. And who knows? Maybe we'll run into Kairi soon, too."

He heard their footsteps fade away and Riku dropped his head into his lap.

That evil, cocky little monster.

Bratty, selfish, self-absorbed snot.

Stuck-up little queen.

If they were on the Islands and someone had told Sora that Riku couldn't come along for something, Sora would have laughed at them, been friendly, and told them if Riku wasn't going, he wasn't either. If they were on the Islands and Sora wanted Riku to go somewhere with him, he'd have asked Riku and gave him the sweet little smile that inspired years of false hope. If they were on the Islands and Riku took off during an argument as he so often did, Sora would have come looking for him. If they were on the Islands and he and Kairi had been missing, Sora would have been torn apart.

A simple, "Oh well, at least he's okay," would have never sufficed the Sora he knew. The Sora he knew would have never brandished something at him or thrown his adventures in his face like it was collateral. The Sora he knew would have never let something get to his head, no matter how big it was. The Sora he knew would have asked Riku questions about what was going on with him instead of only talking about himself. The Sora he knew would have introduced his friends.

This new Keyblade master Sora was nothing but a snobby little twit.

Maleficent hadn't been right, not exactly. He had been replaced, but not by some new friends; he'd been replaced by Sora's own delusions of grandeur.

For the first time, Riku really understood what it was to hate someone.

All he wanted right now was to go back to Hollow Bastion and see Cloud.

He peeked out from behind the wall and wandered across the Third District to a long staircase. He needed to clear his head before going back to Maleficent. He walked up the staircase and paused. There was a little house at the top, light on inside, and through the window Riku could see Sora with his little talking animal friends, and three others whose descriptions he'd heard before. There was the tell-tale scar across the brunette man's face, the calm expression of the girl in the pink dress, and the ninja. He thought back to the man at the accessory shop.

If Cloud knew anything about what he was seeing—Sora and his new friends fraternizing with Cloud's friends—Cloud was in for an earful when he saw him again. Riku may have been allowing a little of his pure, unadulterated hate for Sora seep towards Cloud for a second, but at that moment, he really didn't care. All he could see was rage.

"You see?" said a cool voice beside him, and Maleficent was leaning over him. "It's just as I told you. While you toiled away trying to find your dear friend, he quite simply replaced you with some new companions. Evidently, he now values them far more than he does you. You're better off without that wretched boy. Now, think no more of him, and come with me. I'll help you find what you're searching for . . ."

Revenge, Riku thought. And Kairi. Because if Sora was treating him like this, he wasn't going to let him do it to Kairi. She loved Sora just as much as Sora had loved her. She didn't deserve that.

"Let's go."

----------0----------

"Did you know?"

Riku stormed into Cloud's little hole in the wall and pointed a finger at him.

"Did I know what?" Cloud looked up at Riku from his position on the blankets where he seemed to be picking at something resembling food. "Did she hear anything about Sora?"

"Yeah, I just went to see him. He's got these fucking animal friends—and that damned duck-thing—"

"Donald."

"You _knew_ about them."

Cloud shrugged.

"There were with him at the Coliseum. If I had known they were that important, I would have told you about them."

"Who's that fucked up dog?"

"Goofy."

"Well _that's_ appropriate."

Cloud actually had to audacity to smirk at him.

"That's what I said."

"But that's not what I care about. I want to know if you knew about him caravanning about with your friends in Traverse Town acting like a spoiled little brat."

"He was in Traverse Town? That's ironic."

"Cloud—"

"No, okay? I haven't been back there. I knew they were looking for the Keyblade master but they never mentioned actually finding him. I thought maybe . . . why are you so angry?"

"Because he's a cocky little son of a bitch, that's why. You should have heard him going on about himself like he was a god or something. I was worried _sick_ about him, and he didn't even look for me when I walked out of his argument with that duck—Donald, or whatever."

"Maybe you shouldn't have walked away."

"I _always _walk away from arguments, and he _always _comes to find me."

"He seemed nice when I met him."

"He probably wasn't rubbing his brand new Keyblade in your face. I was holding it and he freaked out at me like I was going to steal it or something. I could have punched the little brat square in his fat little face."

"I take it things didn't go well."

"How do you think it went when he's throwing the Keyblade around like a brat and I've got this thing?" said Riku, waving the wooden sword at Cloud.

"What the hell is that?"

"My sword."

Cloud bust out laughing.

"Remember I told you we used to play fight back on Destiny Islands? Well, my sword was with me when I went through the dark portal, and now Maleficent's gone and put dark powers in it so I can fight the Heartless with it."

Cloud couldn't _stop_ snickering.

"What does that have to do with Sora?"

"Nothing directly, he was just being a brat. Not once did he ask me what I was up to or what I've been doing or even where I've been. He just started going off about everything he was doing. I mean, really, you should have seen him throwing that Keyblade around like it I should kiss his ass for having it or something."

"Riku, don't you think you're overreacting a bit?"

"No, I fucking hate his guts."

Riku calmed a little looking down at Cloud.

"I didn't tell him about us. Do me a favor, okay? If you see him, don't say anything about me. Not that you know me, nothing. I don't want him to know."

"Are you sure?"

"He doesn't have the fucking right to know if he won't ask me himself."

"I see," said Cloud, and then he hesitated.

"What?"

"I just . . . don't you think you might be reading it wrong?"

Riku's face fell. Reading it wrong?

"Fuck you. Fine. Take his side. I know he's best buddies with _your_ friends and all, so I guess that makes him your new best friend, too."

"Riku, calm down," said Cloud, standing, and walking over to Riku. He put his arms around him and pulled him close. "I'm not taking anyone's side. I do consider him something of a friend, but I'm closer to you. You mean more, okay?"

Riku remained rigid in his arms. This was a pathetic half-assed attempt to get him to relent and Riku was having none of it.

"Yeah, right."

"Riku," said Cloud a little harsher this time, and stepping away. "I'm with _you_, okay? Not Sora. I've been with _you_ for the past month. I've been kissing _you_. I'm dating _you_."

"You're dating me?"

"Well what the hell did you think we were doing?"

"I don't know. Really? We're together?"

Cloud smiled.

"Yes, we're together. So tell me why I'd want to throw away what I have with you for some kid I hardly know."

"Cause you're a self-absorbed asshole just like Sora?"

"I wouldn't call him a self-absorbed asshole, but you can if you want."

"I really hate him, Cloud. I never thought anyone could ever hate Sora, but that was before. Power really does get to some people, doesn't it?"

"Honestly, Riku, I think he may have just been a little preoccupied to notice that he was upsetting you, but . . . you know him better than I do."

"Damn right I do."

"So what're you going to do now?"

"Maleficent's going to help me find Kairi. There're two more princesses to get. I'll be staying at the castle."

"Want to come visit me tomorrow?"

"Yeah," said Riku. He was starting to feel incredibly worn out. "I'm tired, and I have to get back before Maleficent notices I'm gone. You'll be here, right?"

"Right."

"Promise you won't say anything to Sora about me?"

"I promise."

"Promise you won't go to any other worlds without saying goodbye first?"

"If you keep me updated on what's going on with Maleficent."

"Okay." Riku pressed his lips against Cloud's. "Sorry for yelling at you."

"I know."

"I do care about you."

"I know. Get back to the castle before you're in real trouble."

"Okay."

Riku and Cloud exchanged one last kiss and then Riku said goodbye, stepping out of the little house, and heading back to his room at the castle.

* * *

**_Am too tired to be clever or witty._**

**_Was surprised got 2 reviews. Didn't expect many people to actually read this story. It's not a popular pairing._**

**_Please leave a review if you'd like to let me know there are more Cloud/Riku readers. Don't leave a review if you don't feel like it or are too lazy._**

**_Thanks for reading. I appreciate it._**


	6. Introspection

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Riku/Cloud

**Theme**: 06. Water

**Rating**: M

**Word Count**: 1,739

**Summary**: There are places we all have that bring us comfort.

**Musical Inspiration**: Tony Lucca: various songs

**Disclaimer**: Sorry, but I still have no affiliation with Kingdom Hearts, and if only I were making money off this trifle of a story. Alas, I am not, and I am dreadfully broke.

**Author's Note**: Water's an interesting theme. Water flows, ebbs, erodes. Water shows us our reflection, houses life, replenishes thirst. Water takes form in our tears. Water is the element of creativity.

* * *

**_Step 6: Introspection_**

Two days passed and Riku hadn't returned from Maleficent's castle. Cloud wondered where he was. The last time he'd seen Riku, he stopped by the morning after seeing Sora, and they talked briefly before Riku had to run back. Maleficent had plans for him, or so Riku said. Cloud didn't like the idea of Maleficent having plans for anyone, much less Riku, someone he cared about.

When Riku was here last, he had mentioned something about going to Agrabah to obtain a fifth princess. Assuming that to be the reason for Riku's absence, Cloud looked across Hollow Bastion to the castle. He leaned against the little house he stayed in, slung his bag over his shoulder, and tied the crimson cape on. He wasn't sure how long Riku would be gone, and he couldn't march into Maleficent's castle and demand to know Riku's whereabouts. Cloud glanced back into the house through the hole in the wall at the note sitting on the table. He hoped Riku wouldn't be angry.

Cloud sent one last look to the castle and set off toward his Gummi. He needed to go to Traverse Town to check in with people. They'd start to get worried if he didn't, he knew. Besides, he had a few supplies he wanted to pick up there before he set off to look for Sephiroth again.

-------------0------------

"Cloud, you seem distracted," said Aerith. She peered at him. "Cloud, is something wrong?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I've just—"

"You seem worried. Different."

"Cloud, worried?" said Yuffie, laughing. "Yeah, sure. Cloud has two emotions: bored, and annoyed."

Cloud glared at her. Yuffie giggled.

"Okay, so you have more emotions than that. There's also uninterested, indifferent, and depressed."

"And angry," added Leon.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot that one. That's like, six emotions."

Cloud huffed.

"What's bothering you, Cloud," said Aerith. "This isn't about Sephiroth."

"It's nothing, okay. I can't stay long. I'm heading back to Hollow Bastion in the morning."

"I don't know why you stay there," said Leon. "That world is destroyed. It should be gone. If it weren't for Maleficent—"

"I know, okay? But that's where Sephiroth ends up a majority of the time, and if I want to track him down, I ought to go to where the odds say he'll be, right?"

"I've got that warp gummi installed for ya," said Cid, entering the little house. "And you wanted these, too, right?"

Cid passed two cell phones to Cloud. He nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks a lot, Cid. I appreciate it."

"Cloud's worried about something," Yuffie said. She grinned from where she sat on the table, swinging her legs.

"Worried?" said Cid. "About Sephiroth?"

"No," said Cloud, "now could you all please leave me alone?"

"Hey," said Leon, "whatever's bothering you can't be that bad. Why don't you go on down to the river when you get back to Hollow Bastion? That ought to clear it up."

Aerith smiled at Leon, still patting Cloud's knee as if to reassure him of whatever was bothering him.

"That's a great idea, Leon," said Aerith. "Don't you think so, Cloud?"

The river. It'd been ages since Cloud thought of the little river that ran through Hollow Bastion. Cloud nodded.

"Yeah. I'll give it a try."

"Well, then, that's all settled. So why don't you tell me what's on your mind?"

Cloud groaned.

"And that emotion," said Yuffie, "would be annoyed."

-----------0-----------

That warp gummi Cid installed for him worked wonders. It took a tenth of the time to get back to Hollow Bastion for which he was thankful. He hoped Riku hadn't stopped by since he'd be gone. He'd promised to tell him if he was going to leave, but that hadn't been an option.

Cloud rounded the corner of the little house to find Riku inside, sitting on the pile of blankets. He arched an eyebrow at Cloud's approach.

"Where have _you_ been?" said Riku.

"Traverse Town. It's in the note."

"I saw."

"I would have told you in person, but you didn't stop by, and I didn't know if you—"

"It's okay. I went to Agrabah to get Jasmine."

"How did that go?"

"Good. Well, Sora wiped out Jafar, so now we've got an emergency meeting tomorrow, but I pulled the kidnapping off without a hitch."

"That's . . . good."

If kidnapping _was_ good, which Cloud thought it wasn't, but it wasn't much better than what he'd done, promising to _kill_ someone for Hades, and he was searching for Sephiroth to kill him, so he didn't think he was in any place to judge.

"So what happened in Traverse Town? Did you see Sora?"

"Nope."

"Did you say anything to your friends about us?"

"Nope. Thought you wouldn't want it getting back to Sora."

Riku smiled.

"Thanks."

"Not a problem. I was worried about you."

Riku's eyebrows rose.

"What were you worried about me for?"

"I don't know. I didn't hear anything from you for a few days, so . . . I don't know. I hoped Maleficent hadn't cut out your heart or anything."

"She's a nasty piece of work, but I don't know if she's that bad," said Riku, laughing. "So what're you going to do now that you're back?"

"Actually, I was thinking of taking off tomorrow to look for Sephiroth again."

"Oh . . . well, um, good luck with that."

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."

"I have something for you."

Riku laughed. "It's nothing infused with the power of darkness, is it?"

"No, why?" said Cloud, now laughing, too.

"I don't know. Every time I hear someone has something for me it turns out to have to do with the darkness."

"I see. Maleficent."

"Yeah."

Cloud put his bag on the table and fished through it.

"You know, there's this river just outside of town. I was thinking of taking a walk over there to clear my head. You want to come?"

"Is that your special place or something?"

"Yeah. It's where I go to think."

"I used to have one of those places," said Riku. "A paopu tree on that island I told you about where we used to go play. The other guys on the island used to call it my tree; I wouldn't let anyone else sit there except Kairi and Sora."

Cloud smiled, digging one of the cell phones out of his bag. He walked over to Riku and sat beside him on the blankets.

"This is for you."

"A cell phone?"

"Yeah, I've got the other one, and my number's programmed in there."

"Is this so I can call you when you get into Hollow Bastion to set up secret dates?"

"No, this is so if I'm leaving, or you're leaving, we can contact each other. I had Cid put a special chip in them, too, so we can call across worlds."

"Really?"

"Yeah. So when I'm looking for Sephiroth, you can give me a call any time."

Riku's smiled brightened and he pressed a kiss to Cloud's lips before pressing his forehead against Clouds.

"This is great. Thank you."

"No problem. Want to go down with me to that river now?"

Riku nodded.

----------0----------

"The orphanage I grew up in used to be right up that hill," said Cloud, motioning behind them. He and Riku sat by the river, and Cloud watched Riku's hands as he picked at the grass. "Leon and I used to come down here a lot and play."

"You know Leon from the orphanage?"

"I know all of my friends from there. Cid lived nearby, and with all us kids being so young—and since he could never have kids of his own—he used to watch out for us. When we got older, everyone stopped coming down here so much, but I still like to."

"It's your special place."

"Yeah. I come here when I want to know the world is still a good place despite all the crap going on. I like listening to the water."

"I used to like listening to the waves on my tree."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I love the sound of moving water. Aerith used to say that water was like hope: when it comes upon an obstacle, it isn't deterred, and if it continues to flow for a long time, it can erode away even the toughest rock, but if you close it off, things dry up and die."

"That's intense."

"Yeah. I don't know. Aerith has a way of saying things sometimes that tend to both inspire and depress you at the same time."

"Aerith is full of little pearls of wisdom, isn't she?"

"She's that kind of girl."

"What do you think about water?"

"I don't know."

Cloud looked down into the river at his blurry reflection. Riku smiled at him and gazed into the river as well.

"I can hardly stand to look at myself anymore," said Riku, so quietly Cloud had almost not heard it. "I like the way the water keeps moving; means I can hardly see myself."

"What's eating at you?"

"The darkness, I suppose. I just didn't know . . . I don't have any options, you know? Sora is off thinking he's king and I have to find Kairi. If Maleficent can help me—I don't know. I feel like I'm drowning in something I can't quite see. Sometimes I wish I were still at home. Sometimes I just want to cry."

"Cry."

"I can't. Do you know that feeling? When things are so bad you can't even cry anymore?"

Cloud thought back to a long time ago when Sephiroth had been created. The Heartless had slowly started to appear in Hollow Bastion. He'd accepted darkness fearlessly then. It had seemed glamorous in a way to have that much power. When Cloud was young, he'd been rather thin and a tad on the frail side. He was good at fighting; he and Leon trained together most of their lives, and he had no problem against the Heartless, but the darkness . . . it seemed like a blessing almost. He could acquire powers through it that, without darkness, he couldn't dare to dream of having.

"Yeah. I've been there."

Riku leaned over, resting his head against Cloud's shoulder.

"I'm happy here with you. There's still something good left in this world. You know?"

Cloud smiled down at Riku.

"I know exactly what you're saying."

* * *

**_Reviewing is like karma. What goes around comes around._**

**_I appreciated all the reviews I've gotten so far. They made me smile. Thanks so much for letting me know you were reading._**

**_Much love and appreciation._**


	7. Failure and Blame

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 07. Sky

**Word Count**: 3,005

**Rating**: R/M

**Summary**: Riku finds Kairi, but things are so much worse that he ever imagined. Sometimes the best things are the simple ones.

**Warning**: Contains allusions to boy on boy promiscuity. You've been warned.

**Disclaimer**: No. In my absence, I did not become affiliated with Disney, Square Enix, or anyone who makes money off of anything related to Kingdom Hearts. I don't even work for a company that sells Kingdom Hearts video games. So, there. Nothing. At all. I am only affiliated with a potato chip company, and will soon be affiliated with the Dollar Tree. That's it.

**Musical Inspiration**: 30 gig iPod on shuffle. Because I can.

**Author's Note**: I had this entire thing mapped out in my head before I wrote the last installment. Why didn't I write it sooner? meep 30 gig iPod. Yep. Oh, and I worked.

**And I suppose this is in order, huh:**

**_kyou_**: Sorry you don't care for the sap, but damn I love it. ::cheesy smile:: Thanks for appreciating attention to grammar and spelling. It seems so few appreciate it these days.

**_dimonyo-anghel_**: I just realized you reviewed twice. I guess that makes you special. This chapter is for you, then. Oh, there will be trouble for our lovebirds all over the place. I'm disappointed by the lack of CloudxRiku, too. I suppose I took it upon myself to rectify that. I'm sure this story will only be the first of many. Power really does seem to get to people.

**_Toons_**: Blow it out of proportion? Riku takes it to a whole new level. It just fit so nicely, though. I really don't think he was this nasty little demon thing set out to destroy Sora and steal Kairi for his girlfriend. Geez, I mean, he hardly even pays any attention to Kairi except when he's all nutty in darkness. CloudxRiku is progressing, and I'm glad you for your sake you don't have to wait too long for updates. I am sorry, however, that they do not come every day. I'd be happier if they did.

**_Tears of Darkness_**: Riku doesn't exactly get tainted by darkness, does he? He submerges himself in it. I like this pairing, too. We seem to be among the few.

**_Kaze_: **I love CloudxRiku, too. I will admit, I'm a bigger Riku fan, but I adore Cloud almost as much. This pairing just made sense. I actually have read Razrantha's work. It's hard to find CloudxRiku. I digest what I can. :)

**_To anyone who read and didn't review, thanks for taking your time out to give this a try. It's much appreciated._**

* * *

**_Step Seven : Failure and Blame_**

"That smarmy vizier could've had 'em—if _someone_ had stuck around to give him a hand."

Riku could've punched Hades in the face. As if Sora being a snot-faced brat, Kairi missing, being separated from Cloud, and this emergency meeting weren't bad enough, now he had to force some of the blame on Riku? If Hades thought Riku was going to take this abuse lying down, he was sorrowfully mistaken.

"Hey, I did my part. I brought the princess, didn't I?"

"Jafar was beyond help, consumed by his own hatred," said Maleficent. Riku appreciated the assistance. "One should beware of letting it burn too fiercely."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Hades. "Lighten up. I'm as cool as they come, okay? By the way, kid, have we got something special for you."

Riku didn't like the sound of that.

"Huh?"

"We had a deal, yes?" said Maleficent. "You help us, and we grant you your wish."

In the center of the meeting area, Kairi's image appeared, transparent. He rushed toward it.

"Kairi!"

"Go to her. Your vessel is waiting."

Captain Hook stepped forward and gave Riku one of his creepy smiles that Riku had grown to become distrusting of.

"Just remember," he said, "this is no pleasure cruise. It won't be a pleasant voyage."

No shit.

"Why are you doing all this for me? What's the catch?"

"Catch? What's the catch?" said Maleficent. What? Did he stutter? "Silly boy. You're like a son to me. I only want to see you happy."

She reached a hand up to cup his cheek. Riku pushed her hand off and backed away.

"I seriously doubt that."

"Believe what you wish. But lest we forget, I kept my end of the bargain."

Riku allowed his gaze to linger on her for a moment. She couldn't possibly be serious. Like a son to her? Yeah, right. He'd had a mother once and she was nothing like Maleficent. She was warm, caring, and would never ask him to barter when he needed help. He turned his back on her and headed toward Captain Hook.

He didn't have a mother, anymore, and Maleficent was nothing like one. Sora was gone. Cloud was off searching for Sephiroth. Kairi, however, was waiting, unknowing that Sora didn't care about them anymore like he once had. She was alone. Riku wasn't going to let her remain all by herself, lost and confused. He wasn't like Sora.

----------0----------

"What's wrong with her?"

Riku stood in the Captain's Room of the Jolly Roger, Captain Hook standing by his side. Kairi lay there, unmoving, unconscious.

"She hasn't woken since I found her. I brought her to me cabin days ago and she's been that way since."

"Is her heart—"

"Gone forever. Taken by the Heartless."

"No—"

This was too much. Riku wanted to rewind time. How did things end up this way? Sora was off with new friends unfazed by Riku's disappearing act or the fact Kairi was missing, and now that Kairi was found, she was lifeless and unmoving. Was this what the Heartless did to people? Was this because he or Sora hadn't found her sooner?

He couldn't lay all the blame to Sora for this one. He'd been so preoccupied with finding Sora, simply assuming Kairi would be with him, that he hadn't stopped to think of what would happen if she wasn't. If he had stopped to think about it, however, this would have been the last thing he'd have expected. Kairi was impervious to things like the darkness; she wasn't like Riku. Riku accepted the darkness willingly, if only because he saw an opportunity to see other worlds and grabbed it. Riku continued to accept the darkness to best Sora and his new attitude. Kairi—Kairi wouldn't _do_ something like that. She had one of the strongest hearts he could think of. Kairi was pure. How could something like _this_ happen to her?

It couldn't. Kairi's heart couldn't be gone forever. It just couldn't. There had to be a way to wake her up. Riku had darkness on his side, too. Surely there was a way to exploit it, help her wake up. He was partially to blame for this situation, and if Sora wasn't going to be around to help rectify it, then Riku would have to do it on his own.

"Can I have some time with Kairi by myself?"

"You're wasting your time, boy," said Captain Hook.

"Don't you have other things to attend to? Like kidnapping that Wendy girl? I thought you said she could be one of the princesses."

"Aye," said Captain Hook. "That I did. I still say you're wasting your time."

"I don't care about your opinion. Tend to your own business and I'll attend to mine."

Captain Hook sneered at him and walked out of the cabin, muttering under his breath about Riku's attitude. Riku couldn't care less.

"Hey, Kairi, it's Riku," he said, kneeling down beside her. "I don't know if you can hear me or not, but—I don't know why this happened to you, Kairi, but I'm going to do everything I can to make this right, okay? You—you really don't deserve this."

Riku took a deep breath and took hold of her hand.

"I saw Sora the other day. He's . . . he's got some new friends. He's a Keyblade master. They're really special, you know? Picked by the Keyblade because they've got strong, good hearts. He—I don't know if he and I are going to be friends anymore. I know you really love him, though, so I hope he treats you better than he treated me when he sees you again. I may have deserved it a bit, I guess. I haven't been doing the best things lately, but . . . I'm really mad at him Kairi, but I won't say those things to you. Maybe you should just judge it for yourself.

"I—uh—I have a lot to tell you, you know. I know I never told you before . . . I was afraid of what you'd say . . . but I know you're not judgmental and you probably can't hear me anyway, but . . . I'm gay. Did you know? I bet you might have thought so. The point is, though, I've got a boyfriend, now."

Riku laughed a little to himself. God, he hoped Kairi couldn't hear him. He sounded like such a moron. Not telling her things about Sora for fear of hurting her and spilling about Cloud when she was lying there, most likely heartless. He just couldn't bring himself to tell her what he'd seen with Sora.

He was grasping at straws, but maybe talking to her would help.

"I never really thought I'd find a boyfriend or anything," Riku continued. He wished she were awake. He needed a friend so badly right now. "His name's Cloud. He knows Sora, too. He's so gorgeous, Kairi, I mean, you should see him. He's got these eyes that are so blue it's unnatural. I love everything about him. I can't wait until you can meet him. I just know you're going to love each other."

Riku brushed his hand over her hair. It felt as if there were a large lump stuck in his throat.

"I miss you, Kairi. I'm so sorry about all of this."

----------0----------

"Pinocchio?" said Riku, arching an eyebrow. "A puppet with a heart? You're kidding me?"

Riku poured over ledgers that Captain Hook had obtained. It appeared that a giant whale by the name of Monstro had appeared amongst the worlds, swallowing up travelers as they journeyed across the worlds. Maleficent seemed to have sent these papers with Captain Hook upon their departure; her handwriting was unmistakable. Monstro, according to the ledger, had recently swallowed a puppet by the name of Pinocchio and his _father_ (what kind of puppet had a father?), Gepetto. The papers said that the puppet was alive, and contained a heart.

This was, frankly, impossible, as far as Riku knew.

Impossible though it may seem Maleficent wasn't wrong about these things. She knew what she was talking about when it came to hearts and the Heartless. Riku was left, inevitably, with one solution: it had to be true.

This opened worlds of possibilities.

How did a puppet get a heart? Furthermore, and far more important, if puppets could obtain hearts, surely Kairi could get hers back.

He needed to see this puppet for himself. Study it. It couldn't be too hard to figure out. He'd leave for Monstro tomorrow.

Riku propped one elbow on the desk and dropped his chin to his palm. He stared out the window at the sky outside. The sky always made Riku think of Sora and Kairi. Back on the Islands when they were younger than now, they never wanted to go home when night came. The three of them would sit on Riku's paopu tree and stare at the sky. Kairi sometimes said that even though they had to go home, they were still together in way, because no matter where they were, they were still under the same sky. Riku imagined that went for other worlds as well. They all shared the same sky, and in a way, he was still with his friends, his mother, Ayumi, and Cloud—

Riku stood from the desk and walked out onto the deck of the ship to get a better look.

He and Cloud were still together under the same sky. He smiled and pulled the cell phone out of his pocket. It meant a lot, getting something like this from Cloud. There was this nagging part at the back of Riku's mind telling him he'd seen Cloud just yesterday and there was no reason to be missing him already. It was too soon to call. He was being a baby about it. Riku shrugged it off, found Cloud's number in the menu (it was the only one there, after all), and hit send.

The phone rang twice, and then that soft, sweet voice that Riku loved so much came over the line.

"You called."

"Yeah."

"I was hoping I'd hear from you today. I was going to call you sooner but I didn't know how that meeting with Maleficent and company went."

"Maleficent found Kairi."

"Yeah? How's that going?"

Riku almost broke down and cried right there.

"She's—I'm in Neverland. With Captain Hook. On the damn Jolly Roger."

"That guy creeps me out. Sorry to hear it."

"I appreciate your sympathy."

"How's Kairi?"

"She's—it's like she's dead, but she's alive and breathing, and her heart's—I don't know. It might be gone."

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone.

"I don't know what to say to that. I'm sorry."

"I'm trying to figure out what to do to help her, but, I don't know. There's this puppet, Pinocchio, who's got a heart, and I figure that if maybe I figure out how that can happen, than maybe I can figure out how to help Kairi."

"I wish you the best of luck, Riku. That sucks."

"Tell me about it."

"I wish there was something I could do."

"If I think of anything I'll let you know, but until then, what I really need is just someone to talk to."

"I can listen."

"I know. I like talking to you. I feel like. . ." Riku sighed and leaned on the banister of the balcony overlooking the ship's deck below. "I feel like I'm not being judged for my decisions—good or bad. I don't . . . quite honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing Cloud. All I know is I'm trying my best to make the most of what I have right now, and you make me feel that whatever I do, it's okay."

"That probably has something to do with us both being lost in darkness. But you make me feel that way, too, you know. And that there might be some light left in me. I guess you bring out that last bit."

"There's always a little light left in the darkness, right?"

"Right. I guess, anyway."

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

"I've been thinking about you."

"Oh, yeah?"

There was a hint of a smile in Cloud's voice. Riku smiled.

"Yeah."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Boring stuff. Cheesy stuff. Like I miss you. I was thinking about the sky."

"The sky?"

"Yeah. Kairi used to say we were all together even when we were apart because we were still under the same sky, and we could look up at it and know that we were sharing that sky. I—I guess I was just thinking about that and I ended up thinking about you."

"Cause even though we're worlds apart, we're still sharing the same sky."

"Yeah. I figure that has to work for all the worlds, right? Cheesy, huh?"

"Really cheesy. But you're a teenager, still, so I'll let that slide."

"Don't use the age card on me, Cloud. I don't care how much older than me you are."

"Seven years, Riku."

"I don't care if you don't care."

"You know, there would have been a time when I would have cared, and it _would_ have bothered me, but in dark times like these, you don't let something like age get in the way so long as you connect with someone, and I connect with you. Right now, that's all I need to know."

"Would it really have bothered you?"

"Well, yeah, Riku, you're only fifteen years old. You were eight years old when I was fifteen. Imagine dating an eight year old."

"I'm not eight years old, but I see your point."

"But like I said, I'm not concerned about that right now, which is a good thing. If it weren't for the circumstances, I'd be so hung up on the age issues I wouldn't have gotten to know you, or be with you like this, and I'm grateful for getting to know you."

"I'm grateful for knowing you, too."

"Hey, Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm outside."

"Good for you?"

"No, I mean I'm staring up at the sky with you."

Riku smiled.

"Now you're being cheesy."

"Maybe."

"Made me smile, anyway."

"I bet it did. You're a teenager, after all. Immature like that."

"I'm not immature."

"Come on, Riku, you still have a lot of growing up to do, but it doesn't _bother_ me, so don't let it bother you, either. You're still mature for your age, just immature compared to me."

"Because you're so adult."

"I know."

"Arrogant cocksucker."

"Only if it's your cock."

Riku's eyes grew wide, mouth slightly open. Sure, he'd said things like that before, and his infamous chain-smoking friends were known for lewd comments, but this was the first time one had been directed at him in such an overtly flirtatious manner. He swallowed.

This may have been the first time since dating Cloud that the very real possibility of having sex with him occurred to Riku. Sure, he'd jerked off at the idea, but it had seemed like just a fantasy. . .

This could actually happen . . .

"Uh, Riku? Are you still there?"

"Yeah."

"Caught you off-guard there or something?"

"It just—" Riku felt his face burn. "I hadn't occurred to me before that we would . . . or could . . . or might . . . one day . . . do . . . anything . . . like that."

Cloud laughed.

"What, you haven't thought about?"

"No—I mean—yes—I mean . . . yeah, I have, but—"

"What? Didn't think I returned the attraction?"

"No . . . I don't know."

"I've thought about it, too, Riku."

Riku's face was on _fire_.

"The night sky's pretty, isn't it?"

Cloud chuckled.

"Yeah, it is."

"Would you really?"

"Really what?"

"Um . . . suck . . ."

"Suck what?"

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"Sure I would, Riku."

"You would . . . oh." Riku swallowed again. He looked up at the sky. "I miss you, Cloud."

"You just miss me now because I told you I'd suck your cock."

"Could we please stop talking about that?"

"I like embarrassing you."

"Sadist."

"Masochist. You love it."

"Shut up."

"I miss you, too."

"You still outside?"

"Yep."

"Cloud?"

"What's up?"

"Will you . . . will you always . . ."

"Spit it out, Riku."

"Will you always care about me? Even if I get lost in the darkness?"

"You scared?"

"Terrified is more like it."

"Yeah. I'll be here for you."

"I don't . . . I don't have anyone anymore."

"You have me. Okay? You're helping me see the light to get out of this darkness with Sephiroth. The least I can do if you get lost is help you out of it."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"I have to get some sleep. I have some stuff to do tomorrow."

"Puppets with hearts, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Call me tomorrow when you get an opportunity?"

"I will."

"Goodnight."

"Night."

Riku waited to hear the click from the other end of the line and then hit the end button.

There were a thousand thoughts racing through his mind.

Kairi.

The darkness.

Even though he hated to admit it was a big one, Cloud would have sex with him.

Yeah.

A lot of thoughts rushing through his head right now.

He looked up at the sky and smiled. They were all under the same sky, and maybe, one day, everything would tie together and get good again. Sora would remember his real friends. Kairi would wake up. He'd get to see his family again (Riku never thought he'd miss them so much). Sora would care what was up with Riku. Kairi, Ayumi, and his mother could meet Cloud.

It was simplistic, Riku knew, but recently, simple didn't seem so bad.

* * *

_To read is human; to review is divine._


	8. Eternal Optimism

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 08. Young

**Word Count**: 1,576

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku was too young to be caught up in all this darkness. He's messed up, lost, confused, but eternally optimistic, and Cloud can't help but feel that if Riku can find hope, so can he.

**Disclaimer**: If I was affiliated with Square Enix or Disney, I wouldn't be writing _fan_fiction. I am not making any money off this trifle of a story.

**Author's Note**: This didn't come out at all the way I thought it would. I mean, at all. When I started writing this, Leon and Yuffie were not in this segment, but . . . now they are. I love when characters pop their heads in and push me out of the driver's seat.

* * *

**_Step Eight: Eternal Optimism_**

A nagging, empty feeling traveled through Cloud when he packed up his things to board the Gummi Ship. It used to be a relief to leave Hollow Bastion; gratitude for not finding Sephiroth in this decrepit town overwhelmed him. These days, Hollow Bastion was more like home than it had been in ages. Things almost felt the way they used to before the Heartless came, when Hollow Bastion was a place of comfort. Then again, Hollow Bastion was the place where he'd met Riku, and Riku had a way of reminding him of times when things weren't so dark, when Cloud himself was less jaded.

In a way, Riku had a way of making him feel like a love-sick teenager again.

At the rate Sora was sealing keyholes and knocking out Maleficent's cohorts, though, Cloud figured it was only a matter of time before Sora sealed up Hollow Bastion and wiped out Maleficent for good. At least Cloud could hope. Maybe then everyone could come back and they could start rebuilding Hollow Bastion—make it the way it used to be.

Then Riku could be free from Maleficent, he and Sora could make up, and home would really be home again.

Cloud stood at the hatch on the Gummi Ship and looked across the town before entering.

----------0----------

Olympus Coliseum seemed like a good place to start for his travels. Phil had said Cloud could stop by any time to participate in the games, and Cloud thought it might be a nice distraction. Thoughts of Sephiroth, Riku, Hollow Bastion, and Maleficent itched at his thoughts. Fighting in a tournament might be fun.

He couldn't thank Cid enough for the warp gummi; it beat taking days or weeks to travel across worlds. Cloud reached into his pocket and pulled out the cell phone. He had three messages.

Aerith, Yuffie, Aerith.

No Riku.

Cloud sighed. He really ought to head back to Traverse Town and let them know he was still alive. Going into the contact menu, Cloud allowed his finger to hover over Riku's number. It was pointless to call. There was that emergency meeting today now that Jafar was defeated, and for all he knew, Maleficent was occupying Riku's time with orders about kidnapping princesses while stringing him along with empty promises.

He was too young for this. Riku was only fifteen years old. Young enough to have spats with Sora over new friends. Young enough to confuse Sora's intentions as self-centered when surely Sora hadn't realized he'd even offended his friend.

Sora, if you asked Cloud, was too young at fourteen to be a Keyblade master as well, but no one seemed interested in Cloud's opinion.

Then again, Cloud was acting like a child himself, obsessing over his phone messages like a little girl waiting for her boyfriend to call. He supposed he had little to no place to talk.

When the Gummi landed in Olympus Coliseum, Cloud grabbed his bag and stepped out of the ship. He just latched the hatch and turned around when a small body barreled into him, shrieking loudly enough to make Cloud wince.

Cloud knew that shriek all too well.

"What are you doing here? I haven't seen you for a while! Squallie boy and me are participating in the Pegasus Cup. What have you been up to?"

"Yuffie, why don't you let Cloud catch his breath," said Leon.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," said Yuffie, releasing her grip on Cloud and taking a step back.

"So what are you two doing here?" said Cloud.

"Yuffie was getting bored just hanging around in Traverse Town," said Leon. "Sora mentioned fighting in the last tournament here, and Yuffie started getting ideas."

"I wanted to fight, too!"

"And I got dragged along for the ride. So now we're competing in the Pegasus Cup. What are you doing here?"

"I was coming to see about the games, actually," said Cloud.

"I think the Pegasus Cup's full, but Phil's taking names for the next tournament already."

"I'll see about that, then."

"Aw, but I wanna fight with Cloud," said Yuffie. "You can enter with us! Then we can all fight together!"

"I don't think that would be very fair," said Cloud. "You and Leon as a team is already a lethal combination without throwing me into it."

Cloud took off towards the doors to the Coliseum.

"Sure," said Leon, catching up with him. "Leave me alone with Yuffie."

Cloud smirked.

"I'm not leaving you alone with her. I'll hang around and watch you guys fight."

"You're leaving me alone with her and you know it."

"I suppose."

"I hate you."

"I'm still here, you know!" said Yuffie, stomping her foot.

"Not my problem you followed us," said Cloud. Leon chuckled.

"I'm not that bad!"

"I never said you were. I just don't know where you get all that energy."

"You just say that because you're old and I'm still young."

"Sora's young; you don't see him bouncing."

"Actually . . ." said Leon.

"Good point. Never mind."

"Fine. You two be cold, unfeeling boys since you're too grown up for me. I'm off to practice."

Yuffie skipped past them and ran for the Coliseum doors before disappearing inside.

"What have you been up?" said Leon.

"Not much. You?"

"Teaching the baby Keyblade master everything he needs to know and dealing with Yuffie. You got off easy."

"Right, because Sephiroth is a picnic."

"You know that's not what I mean."

"How is Sora doing?"

"Eternally optimistic. I think it's being fourteen."

"Doubt it. We were always the eternal pessimists."

"Maybe it's the Keyblade."

"Must be."

"Aerith's been concerned about you."

"Aerith is always concerned about me."

"She thinks there's something going on with you. Don't take this the wrong way . . ."

"That doesn't sound good."

"She thinks you're acting like you used to with Zack."

Cloud snorted.

"Before he died or after?"

"Before."

"So what way am I supposed to take that?"

"Are you seeing someone?"

Cloud bit his lip. Sometimes he hated having friends who could read him so well.

"They're involved with the darkness, aren't they?"

"Aerith say that, too?"

"No, but she's thinking it. I'm inclined to agree with her."

"So what if I am?"

"Just be careful, Cloud. I thought this Sephiroth thing was about finding your light and battling your darkness."

"That _is_ what it's about."

"So what are you doing with someone in the darkness?"

"It's not like that, Leon. He . . . yeah, he's with the darkness, but . . . he's not evil. There's a lot of light in him, too. He's just . . . young. He doesn't know what he's doing, yet."

"You sound like you're babysitting."

"I'm not _babysitting_."

"How young are we talking about?"

Cloud sighed.

"Fifteen."

"Holy shit."

"He's just young, that's all. I mean, he acts older than that, but there are some things about him that are just . . . well, like a fifteen year old boy. He's not afraid of the darkness. He handles himself like an adult. It's just . . . he tends to look at things without realizing the full extent of the consequences. He's a little too trusting. He's mixed up in the darkness the way I am; he doesn't think he has another option right now."

"He's using the darkness, you mean."

"Yeah. It's the only resource he's got. If I were in his position, I'd do the exact same thing."

"What's his name?"

"Can't tell you that."

"That worries me."

"It shouldn't. It's just . . . I promised him I wouldn't. And I'd prefer if you didn't tell Aerith or Yuffie about this, either."

"Cloud, just tell me one thing."

"What?"

"Are you in love with him?"

Cloud sighed.

"I don't know. I suppose . . . I suppose I am."

"Just be careful, okay?"

"This is just between us, right?"

"Sure. When have I ever spilled your secrets?"

"Never. Just hoped you weren't planning on starting now."

"Don't worry about it, just look after yourself."

"I am."

----------0----------

Cloud pressed end on his phone and looked up at the sky hanging over Olympus Coliseum.

They were under the same sky. He liked that idea.

Riku was young—too young to be caught up in so much darkness, but there was still so much light in him yet. Cloud hoped that light wouldn't burn out. Riku had a way of helping him see the light in himself; a way of making him feel young again, too.

"That your boyfriend?" said Leon, walking up beside him. Cloud nodded. "So that's why you wanted the phones."

"Yeah."

"How's he doing?"

"As messed up as ever."

"Which is why you're smiling—"

"No, I'm smiling because despite being all messed up, he's still eternally optimistic."

"Maybe it is being young then, and we just grew up too fast."

"It would explain why Yuffie never stops bouncing."

"Does your boyfriend bounce?"

"He'd probably stab his eyes out first."

Leon smiled.

"I like him already."

They stood in silence staring up at the sky.

"He makes you feel like there's hope, doesn't he?" said Leon. "He's only fifteen, and fucked up, and lost in the darkness, but he's still optimistic. Makes you feel optimistic."

"Yeah."

"And the age doesn't bother you?"

"Nope. Too much bad shit going on right now to be concerned with a number."

"I hope this works out for you."

"Me too."

* * *

**_Thanks for reading and don't hesitate to leave a review. It's nice to know there's readers. ::smile::_**

**_Next section I will respond to reviewers again._**


	9. Old Life, New Life

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 09. Old

**Word Count**: 3,356

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Some things can never be the way they used to be.

**Disclaimer**: Throughout these nine little prompts, I did not acquire any rights to Kingdom Hearts. I do not foresee acquiring the rights to Kingdom Hearts any time in the future. All I have is my little PS2, a cat that's pawing at me as I type and threatens to lay on my keyboard again, and an unheated attic bedroom that's failing to keep me warm. Obviously, I am making no money off this trifle of a story. (I could write a very professional disclaimer, but alas, I am too lazy for that).

**Author's Note**: So I've been planning on writing Riku's side of the Kingdom Hearts series as a very long one-sided Soriku. Cloud/Riku was going to be a little side story in it. Alas, I took all those ideas, threw them into this, and now will have to write Riku's story entirely differently. I'm looking forward to _that_ challenge. However, I suppose this all worked out. Now I can keep the Soriku and the Cloud/Riku stories in my head as separate pieces of fiction as well. I have no one but Kingdom100 to thank (or curse, lol) for that.

* * *

**_Step Nine: Old Life, New Life_**

Riku felt fake.

Weary, weathered, old, and just _fake_.

The darkness, he supposed, was getting to him.

When Riku woke up aboard the Jolly Roger, he rolled over in bed and silently begged for it all to be a dream. Kairi wasn't comatose. She was at home in her bed where she belonged. Sora wasn't off fighting the Heartless and the arrogant little Keyblade Master. He, too, was at home, safe and sound. The sound of the water slapping against the Jolly Roger was actually Destiny Islands—ocean waves to which Riku, living close to the shoreline, had woken to his entire life.

Of course, when he opened his eyes, that illusion slipped out of grasp.

It wasn't a day of school, homework, and his paopu tree in front of him; he was going to Monstro to investigate Pinocchio.

Puppets with hearts. Riku almost laughed. How could a puppet have a heart when Kairi had lost hers, and Riku felt his slipping away every second that Destiny Islands become a more distant memory?

Riku spent little time washing and dressing. He felt tired and achy. Every muscle in his body felt knotted and then stretched thin, threatening to snap. Misery clouded him, and Riku waited for the sting behind his eyes that never came.

Why had he been so foolish, so fearless? He wished more than anything he could go back and not open that door. If he'd known what would happen when he did, where he would go, and what awaited his friends, he'd have gone straight home. He wanted his old life back. The only thing good in this new one was Cloud, and though Riku was thrilled at finding someone to love, he would gladly sacrifice his own happiness for things to be the way they used to be.

Riku held out one hand and opened a darkness portal. He looked to Kairi, laying lifeless in Captain Hook's cabin, and dropped his head in shame. Without another glance, he entered the portal.

----------0----------

The whale had some serious anatomy issues. Riku never claimed to be an expert on whale anatomy, nor to really know _anything_ about where internal organs belonged in a whale, but as Riku wandered Monstro's interior, he got the distinct feeling that the inside of a whale was not supposed to be arranged the way this whale was. Then again, people shouldn't be able to survive being swallowed by whales, either, and if they did, they weren't supposed to encounter Heartless when it happened.

Of course, there was also that problem where whales weren't supposed to be this large or appear amongst the worlds out of nowhere.

As Riku contemplated whale anatomy, his eyes landed on a little boy also wandering the interior. Wait—not a little boy . . . a _puppet_.

Best to be nonchalant.

"Hey," said Riku.

"Huh?" said Pinocchio, looking around, his wooden eyes falling on Riku. "Oh! Hi!"

"Hi, I'm Riku."

"I'm Pinocchio! Did you get swallowed by the whale, too?"

"Yeah, and I'm . . ."

How did you get close enough to a puppet to study their heart?

"I'm pretty bored," said Riku. "You know of anything to do around here?"

"No. There's no one else here. Do you wanna play with me?"

Play? That sounded appropriate.

"Sure. What do you want to play?"

"What games do you know?"

Riku looked around Monstro. There weren't a whole lot of options.

"How about Hide and Seek? I used to play that all the time."

Pinocchio's eyes lit up.

"Yeah!"

"Okay, then. You hide, and I'll seek."

As a kid, Riku always hated being the seeker. There was something so much more enjoyable about hiding. Unfortunately, he'd always found it a little too fun, and ended up giggling until someone found him. The closer the seeker drew, the louder Riku had laughed, and he always seemed to get found first. Sora, however, could stay hidden for weeks.

Pinocchio, it appeared, also found joy in hiding, and went running off the second Riku turned his back to count to one-hundred.

Riku sought and found Pinocchio three times (Pinocchio and Riku, it appeared, were equally matched at hiding), and was about to set out a fourth time when he saw Pinocchio rush into the room.

"What are you doing? Come on, let's go back."

Sora.

Riku almost laughed. Sora and company got sucked into the whale, too.

"You know, Geppetto's awfully worried about you," said Goofy. Pinocchio didn't get any closer. Riku didn't blame him. He'd be damn near _running_ from that dog-thing.

"Pinocchio, stop fooling around. This is no time for games," said Sora, snapping at the puppet. He, Donald, and Goofy turned to walk away.

The annoyance and hate reignited. Damn, Sora had become such an _effing_ brat. Two could play this game.

"But, Sora, I thought you liked games." Sora turned around locked eyes with him. "Or are you too cool to play them now that you have the Keyblade?"

"Riku! Wh-what are you doing here?"

_Witnessing your bratty behavior._

"Just playing with Pinocchio."

"You know what I mean! What about Kairi? Did you find her?"

_Yeah, you little snot, and it wasn't that hard, either. I just swallowed my pride and wasn't too arrogant to ask for_ help.

"Maybe. Catch us and maybe I'll tell you what I know."

"Come on!"

Riku grabbed Pinocchio and dragged him away.

"Where are we going?" asked Pinocchio.

"I don't know."

"Do you know him, too?"

"Sora? You know Sora?"

"I met him once."

"Sora used to be my friend."

"Oh. Can we still play?"

"Yeah, but we're playing with Sora right now, too, so why don't you go hide real good, okay, and I'll come find you."

"Okay!"

Riku didn't really intend to look for Pinocchio. There were bigger fish (no pun intended) to fry. He hadn't even said hello. Hadn't even asked how he'd been. The old Sora was his friend; this Sora didn't even give a damn about his new life.

If Sora was too good to give a shit, then Riku wouldn't bother to care. Let's see how much he liked that.

As Riku wandered the inner chambers of Monstro, turning this Sora thing over his head, a dark portal appeared before him, and along with it, Maleficent. For crissakes, was she _stalking_ him, or did she just have the worst timing ever?

"You saw the ledgers?"

"I came to investigate Pinocchio," said Riku. "There's something wrong with Kairi."

"Is there? Would you like me to come aboard the Jolly Roger and take a look at her?"

"Really?" Maleficent nodded. Relief washed over him. If anyone could tell him just how bad off Kairi was, it was Maleficent. "That would be great, but later, okay? I still need to learn how Pinocchio works. Besides, Sora's here, and I have some business to handle with him."

Riku turned to walk away.

"Why do you still care about that boy? He has all but deserted you for the Keyblade and his new companions, after all."

"I don't care about him. I was just messing with him a little."

"Oh, really? Of course you were. Beware the darkness in your heart. The Heartless prey upon it."

"Mind your own business."

Maleficent disappeared back into the dark portal. Bitch. How dare she accuse him of allowing his heart to fall into the darkness? He was _playing_ with Sora for being such a brat. He didn't _care_, and if he did, he certainly wouldn't let his anger towards Sora eat away his heart. Sora wasn't _that_ important.

Things weren't the way they used to be, and as much as Riku wished he could go back to his old life, it wasn't going to happen.

Commotion broke him of his thoughts and he turned to find Pinocchio race into the room, followed by Sora, Donald, and Goofy. Pinocchio ran past Riku and straight through to the next chamber. Why did they have to instigate that damn puppet? He was only a child, after all.

"Riku! What's the matter with you?" said Sora. "What are you thinking? Don't you realize what you're doing?"

What? Riku was just standing there. What was _Sora_ doing?

"I was about to ask you the same thing, Sora. You only seem interested in running around and showing off that Keyblade these days. Do you even want to save Kairi?"

"I do."

Pinocchio's screaming caught their attention; all four turned to look toward the chamber Pinocchio disappeared into. They ran through to find a large Heartless contraption, Pinocchio captured within its cage. This puppet was a lot of trouble.

"You up for this," said Riku, drawing his crappy wooden sword. His fingers hardly touched the hilt before it turned into a proper weapon.

"No problem," said Sora, drawing his Keyblade. "Let's do it."

Riku couldn't help but laugh for a second. Sora looked so ridiculous with that serious look on his face, holding that gigantic Keyblade. This wasn't the time for contemplating these sorts of things, though, and Riku prepared for battle.

----------0----------

Once the Heartless was defeated, its cage door opened and spit Pinocchio down into a hole in the floor. Riku jumped after. He hadn't come all this way to lose Pinocchio; this was about Kairi. Riku found Pinocchio lying on the floor, passed out. He picked him up and made his way out of the room with the puppet. Footsteps behind him signaled Sora and others were following, but he couldn't be bothered with that right now. He had to figure out how Pinocchio worked so he could get out of here and back to Kairi.

"Pinocchio! Pinocchio!"

That must have been Pinocchio's father, Geppetto, down there on that boat. Riku paused. He didn't want to be an asshole or anything, but he really needed to save Kairi, and Geppetto was just going to have to wait for Riku to figure out what he needed to know. Pinocchio would be okay; Kairi might not.

"Please! Give me back my son!"

"Sorry, old man. I have some unfinished business with this puppet."

"He's no puppet! Pinocchio is my little boy!"

Actually, Pinocchio _was_ a puppet, little boy or not, but maybe it was best to level with the man.

"He is unusual. Not many puppets have hearts. I'm not sure, but maybe he can help someone who's lost theirs."

"Wait a minute," said Sora. When did he catch up? "Are you talking about Kairi?"

Riku sneered. He'd have known sooner if he'd even _attempted_ to find her or actually asked Riku what had been going on, but Sora was too wrapped up in his own little Keyblade master glory to bother with such trivial matters.

"What do you care about her?"

He wasn't going to hang around here and listen to Sora's blathering. Riku was sure to receive a verbal beating for that comment, and Sora was so egotistical these days, Riku doubted anything he said would make Sora realize how badly he was behaving. He walked away.

----------0----------

Riku sat in the room where he and Sora had fought that Heartless and pulled out his cell phone.

"You done with the puppet already?"

Riku smiled. Trust Cloud to skip over the pleasantries.

"Not exactly. I'm just . . . stressed out, I guess. Wanted to ask you what you know about puppets with hearts."

"Not much. Where are you?"

"Monstro. You?"

"Coliseum. What are you still doing there?"

"Can't figure this thing out. What are you doing at the Coliseum?"

"I was going to sign up for the games yesterday but the current one's full, and the next one isn't for awhile. Ran into Yuffie and Leon, though, so I'm staying with them. Catching up with old friends, you know?"

Riku laughed.

"Boy, do I know. Guess who's here in Monstro."

"Who?"

"Sora and friends. I'm tired, Cloud."

"I take it that it's not going well."

"Not exactly. I just keep finding myself wishing he were the way he used to be. I miss the old Sora."

"Sora sans Keyblade?"

"Exactly. He's such a brat. He practically terrorizes Pinocchio, and he came up to me yelling about what I think I'm doing. I wasn't doing _anything_. I guess he was still sore about me teasing him."

"Teasing?"

"Yeah. He asked about Kairi and I told him if he caught me, I'd tell him. I was just playing with him, though, cause he was pitching a fit about Pinocchio playing games. Sora used to like games."

"The _old_ Sora used to like games, you mean."

"Exactly. Listen, I didn't really think you'd know anything, but I really . . . I don't know. Wanted to hear your voice, I guess. Need some reassurance that I'm not evil incarnate or anything."

"I know you've got good intentions. Sora just . . . doesn't see it, I guess."

"Sure doesn't."

"It sounds like you've got a lot of work ahead of you so I'm going to let you go, okay?"

"Can I call you later?"

"You can call me anytime."

The smile in Cloud's voice didn't go unnoted.

"Okay. Thanks."

"Sure. Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"My thoughts are with you, okay?"

"How about your heart?"

"That, too."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."

"Keep your head up."

"I will."

Riku pressed end on the phone, stuck it back in his pocket, and looked over Pinocchio. What could make a puppet have a heart? A puppet that, seemingly, lost its heart to that overgrown Heartless. It would figure. How was he supposed to figure this out now? And on his own?

"Hey, let Pinocchio go, Riku."

Sora. Again. This was getting tiresome. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?

"A puppet that's lost its heart to the Heartless . . . Maybe it holds the key to helping Kairi. How about it, Sora? Let's join forces to save her. We can do it together."

Sora's only response was drawing his Keyblade. Arrogant little _shit_.

"What? You'd rather fight me? Over a puppet that has no heart?"

"Heart or no heart, at least he still has a conscience."

"Conscience?"

Hurt doused Riku, washing over him and seeping into his heart. Was Sora actually implying what Riku thought he was implying. His eyes vaguely registered a little cricket running past him dressed in a top hat and coat, but Riku was far past the point of wondering what the hell Sora was traveling with these days. This just got very personal.

"You might not hear it, but right now it's loud and clear. And it's telling me you're on the wrong side!" said Sora, Keyblade still drawn and glaring.

Riku could _kill_ him.

"Then you leave me no choice."

"Pinocchio! Pinocchio!"

That damn cricket was kind of killing the vibe.

Pinocchio's head lifted.

"Jiminy, I'm not gonna make it." He gave a pathetic little cough and then his nose grew. What the fuck? "Oh! I guess I'm okay!"

A loud rumble was heard and that giant Heartless thing dropped in the room again. Riku was done with this. Sora could handle it alone. If he was going to sling verbal assaults like the one he just dared to pull out—Riku not have a conscience?—then that was just fine. All Riku could do now was hope Sora understood the war he'd just started.

Riku created a dark portal and stepped through.

He passed through the corridors of darkness, making his way back to the Jolly Roger empty handed. He should have known the second he found out Pinocchio and Sora were acquainted. Once Sora got to someone, they were of no use to him. It was the way alliances worked these days—Sora was the great Keyblade master, and who was Riku? No one. Just the bad guy without a conscience.

Riku found this a little ironic considering he wasn't attacking Sora about _his_ behavior save for that one little comment, and all that had been was a direct response to Sora's accusations. How dare he scream at Riku for nothing? He'd been _teasing_. Now this conscience deal? Riku had a damn conscience and Sora could shove his up his ass—that was, of course, if there was any room left next to his head.

He'd been trying to _help _Kairi. Riku was doing more for Kairi than Sora.

How dare he imply Riku didn't have a conscience? Sora didn't even _know_ Riku anymore. He knew the old Riku—the one with a passion to see the world imprisoned on Destiny Islands. Sora didn't know where Riku was living. He didn't know where Riku had found Kairi. He didn't know how Riku had found Sora. Sora certainly didn't know about Cloud or that Riku was falling in love.

These were the most confusing, hardest, and exhilarating times of his life, and Sora knew _nothing_ about _any _of it.

Riku stepped out into Captain Hook's cabin to find Maleficent. Fantastic. Just who he wanted to see right now.

"You wanted me to come, didn't you?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"I told you to forget about that boy. Isn't this girl the one you want to save?"

"Yes. What's wrong with her?"

"Her heart seems to be gone. She's still alive, yes, but there's nothing there. She's only the remaining shell."

"So, Kairi's like a lifeless puppet now?"

"Precisely."

"And her heart was . . ."

"Taken by the Heartless, no doubt."

"Tell me! What can I do?"

"There are seven maidens of the purest heart," said Maleficent, growing serious. "We call them the princesses of heart. Gather them together and a door will open to the heart of all worlds. Within lies untold wisdom. There, you will surely find a way to recover Kairi's heart."

So that's what this princess business was about. At least now he could get some use out of it.

"Now, I'll grant you a marvelous gift. The power to control the Heartless."

Riku really hated it when Maleficent called things like this gifts. He felt the darkness sweep over him, sinking farther into his heart, and he saw his body become engulfed in yellow-green light. There was no fighting it. Hopefully he could use this to his advantage. He turned back to Kairi. The darkness felt deep in his body, tingling through to his fingertips. He'd just _have_ to use this to his advantage.

"Soon, Kairi. Soon."

When Riku turned around, Maleficent had gone.

Old life, new life.

Riku felt fake.

Weary, weathered, old, and just _fake_.

He was trying so hard to smile for Kairi when he wanted to cry. He stared Maleficent down, plastered a hint of a smile on his face, to say he didn't care about Sora when he was dying inside. Embraced the darkness and was using it to help Kairi when he wanted to run from it.

Around others, he made sure he smiled when he should, laughed when appropriate, glared when it was required, and played his part.

The darkness was getting to him.

Riku pulled the cell phone from his pocket. At least with Cloud, he could be real.

Old life, new life.

Riku eyed the phone. This phone could call across worlds. He wondered. . .

Old life, old life, old life.

Riku's fingers ghosted over the number pad and then he punched the digits in and listened.

"The number you are calling does not exist or has been disconnected," said the automated voice over the line.

Of course. The number didn't exist because Destiny Islands didn't exist. Home didn't exist anymore.

What would he have said if someone had picked up anyway? Hey, Mom, it's Riku, sorry I ran away from home and let Heartless take over the Islands, but I love you and really miss you?

There was no old life anymore. All that remained was this new life—one with Maleficent, and darkness, and Cloud.

Cloud was a good thing.

He was abandoned by the old, but Cloud had said to keep his eyes on the light left, and Riku planned on doing it. He found Cloud's number in the menu and pressed send.

* * *

**_I believe I promised responses to recent reviewers, so, here we go..._**

**dimonyo-anghel**: I like being told I'm special, too. ::smile:: Yeah, Riku was a little slow at thinking of the actual possibility for sex, but then again, he's been preoccupied, lately.

**HikariAlex**: I like this pairing mostly for the fact they're both kind of good, and yet they're in darkness. Cloud and Riku are so alike that I think they really work together. Besides, they're both cuties.

**page-write**: I have to be honest with you. I usually post new fandoms or even pairings under a different penname. I was going to do it for this, but I'm sick of creating new emails and having my stories scattered all over the place, so I wondered if I was going to drag one of my Harry Potter readers over here, and it looks like I did. I'm glad you like it without having played Kingdom Hearts. You should play it, though. It's a good game. It's the only reason I own a PS2.


	10. Twisted Intentions

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 010. Beginning

**Word Count**: 3,468

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Cloud wasn't getting through to Riku, and one of them had to realize that their fight had needlessly escalated into something it should have never been. Leon could swear he's heard this story before.

**Disclaimer**: I own Kingdom Hearts. All of it. I'm the CEO watchamajiggy for Square Enix _and _Disney. I own all those Japanese dudes that made Kingdom Hearts. And I don't just mean I own their work; I own their _souls_. Sora and Riku are locked in my closet. I keep Cloud in the bed. Leon gets stuffed at the end of bed for easy access. Then I woke up and realized none of this was true and I was still broke and owned _nothing_ related to Kingdom Hearts whatsoever except for, like, copies of the video games, even crappy little Chain of Memories, which I am sick of playing just so I can write this and my Soriku story. So there.

**Author's Note**: So I visited YouTube and watched the Riku scene in Traverse Town again only to discover that Cid's in there with Sora and co. when Riku's watching with Maleficent. So I jacked that part of the story up, and for that I apologize. Lucky for me, I do not have to rewatch any cutscenes for this here segment, because it is a Cloud segment, and Cloud is hardly in the game. Which I appreciate. Cause it's fun perspective to squish Riku KH scenes into Riku's parts and then just go crazy with Cloud's.

* * *

**_Step Ten: Twisted Intentions_**

Cloud stared at the cell phone in his hands, turning it over a few times before putting it in his pocket.

Yuffie and Leon were staying in a hotel in Thebes just beyond the Coliseum. Cloud had stayed here when working for Hades; he'd slip out the Coliseum through the back and take the path into town. Cloud liked to avoid crowds and Phil, because though the satyr was a good guy, he was loud, and the path was rarely traveled. The hotel, however, had a great view of the city and Coliseum, and when Cloud had stayed here, he often found himself wandering out onto the balcony. Staying here with Yuffie and Leon was no different. It was, in a way, comforting.

Cloud liked to observe the people walking around below, and it was a good opportunity to keep an eye out for Heartless. They mostly stayed in the Coliseum and the Underworld, but a Heartless or two occasionally snuck into Thebes, and Cloud made it a point to wipe them out quickly. The balcony had another nice point to it beside the view, which was privacy, something he needed lately thanks to his conversations with Riku.

Just last night he'd stood out here talking to Riku, and then talking to Leon about Riku. Leon and Cloud had always been especially close friends—though they rarely spoke to each other as neither was the speaking type. Leon happened to be the best secret-keeper Cloud knew for that reason alone, and he therefore knew Leon would say nothing to Yuffie. He'd even pulled through for Cloud just now when his phone had gone off mid-conversation with Yuffie and all Cloud had to do was give Leon a glance for Leon to know it was Cloud's boyfriend calling.

"Why don't you take that outside?" said Leon. "I'll keep Yuffie occupied."

"Is that Aerith?" said Yuffie, bouncing up on the bed.

"Whoever it is, it's none of our business."

"I'll be back," said Cloud.

Riku had said he was tired, and he _sounded _it. Tired, angry, hurt, and countless other negative emotions that Cloud didn't want to think about at the moment. He wished he could be there with him. He wished he knew what was going through Sora's head. Cloud had the feeling this was going to get messy.

----------0----------

"You look worried," said Leon.

Cloud and Leon sat on the balcony looking across Thebes. Yuffie had gone off to the Coliseum to get in some practice before dark, leaving the two by themselves. The sun was setting, bathing the city in soft pink and yellow hues. Cloud liked this time of day when the harsh sunlight faded but before the cold detachment of night set in. Neither light nor dark, but the two mingling together in beauty.

"I am worried."

"What was the call about? Is he in trouble?"

"He's . . ." Cloud didn't know how to tell Leon anything without giving too much away. "He's going through a rough patch with a friend right now. His friend's . . . not so crazy about the darkness, you know? And he . . ."

"Doesn't have much of an option. Yeah. You said."

"Sorry I can't tell you more, but he made me promise."

"What's he got to hide?"

Cloud sighed.

"His friend—the one he's having issues with—he doesn't know that he's gay or in a relationship or anything. And his friend never asked anything about what's been going on with him since their world fell to the darkness. So he—"

"Your boyfriend or the friend?"

"My boyfriend. He doesn't want me to say anything that might get back to his friend. Doesn't think he deserves to know if he won't ask."

"That's rough."

"Yeah, but it really hurt him, and he means a lot to me, so . . ."

"You're a good friend like that."

"I know you wouldn't say anything, but what can I do? I promised."

"I respect that."

Cloud leaned back in his chair, hardly settled, when his phone rang.

"Boyfriend?" said Leon.

Cloud shrugged and pulled the phone out of his pocket, checking the caller ID.

"Yep. Must be back."

"Where did he go?"

"Another world. Doing some research on the Heartless."

Leon nodded.

"I'll give you your privacy."

"Thanks."

Cloud flipped open the phone as Leon stood from the chair and headed over to the door.

"How did it go?" said Cloud. He smiled at Leon as he disappeared through the door.

"Crappy," said Riku. Cloud furrowed his eyebrows and sat up in his chair. Riku's voice sounded tight, as if he were restricting tears.

"What happened?"

"I . . . I didn't _do_ anything. He came in right after I got off the phone with you and started yelling at me to let the damn puppet go. I wasn't even _holding_ it. It wasn't my _fault_ that Heartless captured him. All I'd been trying to do was talk to Pinocchio the entire day to see how it worked, and I got _nothing_. Then he got all knocked out and I thought he lost his heart, but he was just woozy—"

"Pushing your worries about Kairi off onto the puppet, huh?"

"Kairi _has _lost her heart, but that's not the point. Sora came in and he was acting like a complete jackass, and he implied I don't have a conscience."

"Wait. Back up. What about a conscience?"

"He said that whether or not Pinocchio had a heart, at least _he_ still had a conscience. I _have_ a damn conscience. I was trying to _help_ Kairi. I wasn't going to steal the damn puppet. I didn't even hurt anyone. I never even took Pinocchio out of Monstro. I was just trying to figure out how to help Kairi. And then Maleficent came around—"

"Maleficent?"

"I don't know. The bitch is probably following me. But she started lecturing me about losing my heart to the darkness because I was teasing Sora earlier. Then she was here on the Jolly Roger when I got back to tell me what was wrong with Kairi. Her heart's really gone. She's like . . . nothing. Just this lifeless body, except . . . you know . . . the still breathing part."

"I see. Any more plans?"

"Not yet. But can you believe he even said that?"

"Actually, I think that was pretty nasty for even him. Was your teasing playful? Or did you sound like you were provoking him?"

"How am I supposed to know? Don't tell me you're siding with him!"

"I don't know, Riku. How am I supposed to know without hearing his side of the story? From what I do know, that comment was undeserved and plain mean, but maybe he thought he was justified in it."

"I have a conscience!"

"I know you do, baby. I don't think what Sora said was right, or even remotely true, but I think he may have _thought_ he had a right to say it."

"You called me baby."

"So? It's a term of endearment."

"I know. I'm not stupid. You endear me?"

Cloud smiled at this. Riku was so thick sometimes. It was actually pretty cute how easily distracted he could become.

"Yes, I _endear_ you."

"I endear you, too."

"I know. Listen, Riku, why don't you—"

"I don't want to hear anything about how Sora could have thought he was right, okay? He was _wrong_. I don't care what he thinks. I'm sick of sitting around and wishing I could go back. I can't. I can't do anything about what's happened, but I'm doing my best. Things are hard right now, and he doesn't know me. He doesn't know me at _all_ anymore, and he had no right to say any of those things. I mean, sure, I said all he seemed interested in was waving around his precious Keyblade, but I said it _seemed_ that way. I didn't say that's how it _was_."

"I understand that."

"So I'm done with that. I'm done with him. I'm starting over. I'm not trying to be friends with him anymore. I'm only going to worry about you and helping Kairi."

"Considering how you feel about the situation, I think that's a good idea."

"Me too. So . . ." Riku sounded uncomfortable and relieved, as if he had been waiting for Cloud to press the situation further. Riku may not be stupid, but neither was Cloud. Riku's mind was set and there was no changing it. "What have you been up to?"

"Just hanging out with Leon. Yuffie's been off practicing like crazy. She's got a lot of energy to expend."

"That's . . . good. I mean—sorry, I just don't know what to say about it. I don't . . . really have any friends anymore."

Pangs of sympathy tugged at Cloud, begging him to say something to console Riku. Sure, Cloud had been lost in the darkness, tempted by Sephiroth, even lost Zack, but he'd never lost _all _of his friends. They'd all been together when leaving Hollow Bastion, and even now Leon was just inside the hotel room, waiting patiently until Cloud was off the phone, and not pushing the secrecy issue. Riku's friends were all gone, in one way or another. Cloud couldn't imagine how it must feel.

"I'm sorry, Riku."

"Why? You didn't do anything. It's my fault, really."

"It's not your fault."

"Sure it is. I let the Heartless in. That's when Selphie, Tidus, Wakka, and my family went. I landed in Hollow Bastion. I don't know where Kairi and Sora ended up, but Kairi lost her heart, and now she's gone. I'm in the darkness, and Sora's the Keyblade master, acting like he's ruler of the universe, which, I guess in a way, he is. He's gone. You're really all I have. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm crazy about you—"

"I know. You endear me."

Riku laughed. It was a nice change.

"Yeah. I'm just not accustomed to this, and I can't even see you because I have to work on this Kairi thing. I'm just glad we have these phones."

"You should come see me when I fight in the next cup."

"Won't Sora be there?"

"A lot of people come. It won't be hard to hide in the stands if you don't want to see him. And you could spend the night with me wherever I'm staying."

"I'd like that."

"Good. I want to see you."

"I want to see you, too. I miss kissing you."

"I miss kissing you, too. Leon's been asking about you."

"What? How? You didn't tell him anything, did you?"

"No, I didn't tell him anything. My friends just know me too well and figured out I was seeing someone. I did tell Leon a very vague version of your story, being in the darkness and fighting with Sora, but I didn't tell him your name, or details, or anything. He did ask, but I said I promised you I wouldn't tell."

"Did that seem suspicious?"

"He said he was worried by that, but that's when I explained your situation with Sora—sans names and details of course—and that you don't want him to know though the grapevine or anything. Said I knew he wouldn't say anything to anyone, but, you know, I promised. He was cool about it. Made him promise not to tell anyone anything about it. Leon's never spilled any of my secrets before. He's not going to start now."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. He sure _wants_ to know more. We've been friends for ages; it isn't hard to tell, but don't worry. I won't say anything. He even keeps Yuffie occupied when you call now so I don't have to sneak too far away."

"Oh. Okay, then. He sounds like a cool guy."

"He is. I hope you two can meet some day. You'd like each other."

"Maybe some day. I just—he's friends with Sora."

"I know. But believe me, Leon's decent. He doesn't say much, and when he does, he doesn't spill secrets."

"Well. . ." Riku seemed to hesitate for a second as if he were thinking. "Maybe I can meet him sooner than someday. I mean, I can tell it means a lot to you."

"I really like you. Can you blame me for wanting to show you off to my best friend?"

Riku laughed.

"I guess not. I wish Kairi were awake so I could tell her about you. I mean, I did anyway, but she doesn't have a heart, so I doubt she heard."

"You told Kairi?"

"Yeah," said Riku, still laughing. Cloud couldn't help but laugh with him.

"And you're giving me grief about talking to Leon?"

"Shut up. So is Leon waiting on you, then?"

"Yeah. I'm out on the balcony. He went back inside when you called."

"Don't let me keep you. I have . . . a lot of stuff to figure out, anyway. I just . . . wanted to call. Wanted to hear your voice."

"You were feeling pretty down."

"Feeling pretty shitty is more like it."

"Don't worry about it."

"Oh. I forgot to tell you. Maleficent has infused me with the power of darkness again. I can control the Heartless now."

A feeling of unease settled within Cloud's heart. Riku could control the Heartless?

"Really?"

"She called it a gift," said Riku. His voice was strained again. "I'm afraid I'm going to lose my heart."

"Be strong, baby. I know you can make it through this."

"I'm sure as hell going to try."

"I don't want to let you go when you're upset like this."

"I'm going to be okay. It just . . . sucks. I can use it to help Kairi, though, right?"

"I guess. Just be careful."

"I will. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

"And I'll think more about this Leon thing."

"All right. I'll talk to you soon, Riku."

"See ya."

"Bye."

Cloud pressed end on his phone. He didn't know what to do. This was an unexpected turn of events, especially so shortly followed by Riku's encounter with Sora today. Riku sure wasn't kidding when he said he was starting over. Cloud got the feeling this was the beginning of something bad, the beginning of some of the darkest times of Riku's life, and Cloud didn't know how to stop the train before it wrecked.

He extended one hand and knocked on the door to the hotel room. Leon stuck his head out.

"You done?"

"Yeah. Is Yuffie back yet?"

"Nope."

Leon walked out on the balcony and sat next to Cloud, propping his feet up on the railing.

"You look ill."

"I just had a bad conversation."

"Fight?"

"Hardly. He had a nasty day today. Nasty fight with the aforementioned friend. The darkness is gaining more control over him through no fault of his own. It's kind of a disaster. I told him about you, though. Might get clearance to tell you more."

"Don't press it if he says no."

"I won't. I just . . . think he could use another friend right now. And I know you two are going to get along really well."

"If you get along well with him, I don't see why I wouldn't."

"That's what I figure."

----------0----------

Cloud walked down the Coliseum the following day with Leon and Yuffie to watch the Pegasus Cup. He wasn't surprised to see Sora there; Leon and Yuffie had said he signed up. What did surprise him, though, was how angry he felt meeting up with Sora after the tournament.

"You've improved in your fighting a lot," said Leon.

"Enough to beat us both!" said Yuffie.

"You know Cloud, right?" Leon motioned to Cloud as he joined them outside in front of the Coliseum gates.

"Yeah," said Sora. "How's it going with your light?"

Cloud stared hard at Sora for a second and swept his fingers through his hair. This was the kid who, just yesterday, had fought so brutally with Riku, and now he was smiling like he hadn't a care in the world. Cloud knew it had to be hard with the pressures of being the Keyblade master, and that surely between what Riku called teasing and Sora's responsibility, their fight had needlessly escalated to something it should have never been. He understood that Sora must have taken Riku the wrong way just as Riku must be seeing Sora in the wrong light. Still . . . he couldn't help wanting to shake some sense in the kid. If _one_ of them could get the ridiculousness of the situation through their heads, maybe they could just forgive and forget. It was obvious Cloud wasn't getting through to Riku.

Still, Cloud couldn't help but notice that Sora immediately asked him a question about his life, and yet hadn't bothered to ask Riku anything. That alone had sparked something inside Cloud that he couldn't quite push away.

"I'm still searching," said Cloud. "What about you? Have you found your friends?"

The look on Sora's face said it all. Riku wasn't the only one hurting.

"I . . . I still don't know where Kairi is. I _saw_ Riku, but . . . he's not the same."

_He says the same thing about you, kid._

"He's working with the darkness, I think," Sora continued. "I'm not sure what he thinks he's doing, but—I _want_ to be friends with him, but I don't want him to be doing the things he is."

"Sometimes you have to use darkness because there isn't another way. People don't always do the best things, but sometimes they do them for the best intentions," said Cloud.

Cloud didn't miss the knowing look Leon briefly shot in his direction.

"Yeah," said Yuffie. "Like Cloud here. He's used darkness to fight Sephiroth. It hasn't really gotten _rid_ of him, but that's cause Sephiroth is _empowered_ by Cloud's darkness. Wait . . ."

"Yuffie's gone and confused herself," said Leon. "Big surprise."

"Shut up, Squall," said Yuffie, playfully punching him.

"That didn't sound very convincing," said Sora, laughing.

"You'd just . . . be surprised what people do when they think there's no other way," said Cloud.

"But there is. There's light."

"Maybe Riku doesn't have that option."

"Everyone has that option. He's just being a jerk. He even said he found Kairi, but he won't tell me anything about her."

"Did you ask?"

"Yes! Repeatedly. I told you, he's just being a jerk. I don't know what he thinks he's doing, but I don't like it."

"Maybe he's trying to help Kairi with what he's doing."

"Cloud, can I speak to you for a moment," said Leon. "Excuse us, Sora."

"Yeah, no problem," said Sora, still smiling, though Cloud felt he might have troubled the kid a little.

"Follow me," said Leon, leading Cloud back into the now-empty Coliseum. Leon turned to face Cloud. "Maybe Riku doesn't have that _option_? Cloud, don't tell me . . ."

"Tell you what?"

"Riku? _Sora's_ Riku?"

"What about him?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Cloud. I can put two and two together."

"I really don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't know what I'm talking about? When you're out there trying to convince Sora that Riku doesn't have an option other than darkness? That whatever he's doing that's upsetting Sora so much is based on good intentions? That Riku isn't what he thinks he is?"

"Leon."

"Just admit it, Cloud; I don't care _what _you promised."

Cloud sighed.

"Couldn't hide it forever, huh?"

"Riku? Sora's _friend_, Riku?"

"Yes, okay?"

"You're dating Riku."

"Yes! Now stop talking about it before Sora wanders in here and hears you!"

"How did that even happen?"

"It's a long story, and I'm not up to talking about it right now. Especially not here. Let me get Riku to agree to this first, okay? He does _not_ want Sora to know under _any_ circumstances."

Leon nodded.

"I won't breathe a word to Sora. Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

"You owe me an explanation."

"Okay. You'll get one. Just not here. And you cannot let anyone know."

"I won't. I promised you already. I won't say anything to anyone. Not Sora, Yuffie, Aerith, anyone. But I _do_ want to know how it happened, because this is a little bigger than what you initially made it out to be."

"I know. I already told you I'll give you one, just not here, and not right now."

Leon eyed him before nodding, and walking back toward where they'd left Sora and Yuffie.

This was a beginning all right. The beginning to something that Cloud feared was about to become very rotten.

* * *

**_Yeah, so I wrote two in one day. Wanted to make it an even 10. Now I'm 10 through the fic. Geez. It sounds so much better than saying only 90 to go._**

**_Ah well._**

**_Please read and review. Thanks. Love and kisses._**


	11. Trust and Insecurity

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 011. End

**Rating**: M

**Word Count**: 2,417

**Summary**: All good beginnings come from an end.

**Disclaimer**: Kingdom Hearts and the characters within do not belong to me; I just borrow them. I promise to return them in good condition when finished. It'll almost be like I never took them at all.

**Author's Note**: I just started working again so it's going to be a little longer between updates as I can't spend all my free time working on this story (if only because I have a significant other than gets jealous when I spend more time with Riku and Cloud). I will work on this as much as possible. Promise. Especially as I just discovered the prompts are going to fit in so well with what I want to write straight through to the end of Chain of Memories, which should take me to about prompt 26. As I'm on 11 right now, that means inspiration for me, which means I know where I'm going, which makes me excited to get through it as fast as possible for you.

* * *

**_Step Eleven: Trust and Insecurity_**

"I saw Sora."

Riku blinked and sunk into Captain Hook's chair. He sent an uneasy glance toward where Kairi lay, still motionless, still lifeless, and nowhere closer to having her heart. Riku was going off today to capture one more princess of heart—Belle at Beast's Castle. His departure, however, was delayed first by Captain Hook and his quest to capture Wendy, and now Cloud's name on Caller ID. This wasn't what he expected when he answered, though.

"I figured," said Riku. "I mean, you said Sora was participating in the games, right?"

"Yeah, but there's more."

"I got that feeling; otherwise I doubt you'd have made it the first thing you said to me."

"Well . . . okay, it was really innocent. I mean, it wasn't even supposed to happen. It's just when I saw Sora I got so angry at him . . ."

"Cloud, please, before you go any further, just tell me you didn't—"

"No! God, Riku, I'm not stupid."

"Good, cause if you'd mentioned my name—"

"No, I didn't mention your name. I just . . . think this fight between the two of you doesn't have to go the way it is . . ."

"Of course it doesn't. He's making it this way."

"You're _both_ making it this way."

"I tried to be friends with him. It isn't happening."

"All I'm trying to say is that I think your fight has become something it shouldn't have even been, and that you're misinterpreting each other. So . . . I decided to dig a little."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"I just . . . was really angry for what he'd said about you not having a conscience and all, so I asked if he'd found his friends yet."

"And?"

"And he said he'd seen you but you were different, and that he thought you were working with the darkness, and he doesn't like the way you're acting."

"_I'm_ different? He's the one who's changed."

"He said he asked you about Kairi and you wouldn't tell him. Repeatedly. I thought you said he hadn't asked you about Kairi."

"He asked about her in Traverse Town, yeah, but I didn't know anything then."

"He said he asked in Monstro."

"The first time he asked was when I was _teasing_ him. He was yelling at Pinocchio about playing games, and I said that I thought he liked games. He asked me if I found Kairi and I told him if he caught me, maybe I'd tell him. It was a _joke_. I was _playing_ with him. That's when he started freaking out. When he asked again, I was already pissed off at him for yelling about what I thought I was doing, when I wasn't doing _any_thing. He didn't seem to _care_, so I didn't tell him."

"Do you really think that was the best decision?"

"Who cares? I already made it and I can't change it now."

"You could apologize."

Riku snorted.

"Yeah, right. 'Sorry I think you don't care about Kairi as much as you say you do, but you've got to admit, Sora, you sure haven't displayed the kind of behavior that backs up your words.'"

"He's hurting, Riku. He looked somewhat disturbed when I brought you and Kairi up."

"I bet he does. He thinks I've lost my conscience and I'm an evil demon."

"He just thinks there's other ways than darkness. I tried to explain that sometimes people do things they wouldn't ordinarily do for good intentions. That maybe darkness was the only option you had at the moment. . ."

"Oh, Cloud, you _didn't_. You don't think that constitutes as mentioning my name?"

"I did. I just want you two to be friends again."

"Fuck being friends with him. I already told you. I'm done. This is the end. I can't take anymore of his looking down at me because I'm not the great bearer of light like he is. So I've got darkness in me. Not everyone can be the great Keyblade master."

"Light has nothing to do with being a Keyblade master. It has to do with strength of heart."

"Well maybe my heart's weaker than his, then, but that makes me normal, and just maybe that's what keeps me from looking down at people. If _I_ were the Keyblade master, I sure wouldn't look down on people just because they were a little lost in the darkness. _I'd_ try and help them."

"I'm sorry, okay? I just thought that if maybe Sora could see what things are like for you right now, he wouldn't be so harsh."

"He doesn't _want_ to know, Cloud. I bet he didn't _want_ to hear it from you, either, just like he doesn't want to hear it from me."

"He _was_ hesitant to actually consider anything I was saying . . ."

"See?"

"There's one more thing."

"What?"

"Leon was there when I was talking to Sora and he kind of put two and two together?"

Riku was sure his heart had simultaneously stopped in his chest and jumped to his throat. He felt like vomiting.

"What?"

"He knows, Riku. That I'm seeing you."

"I guess Sora knows now, too."

"No. Leon . . . I told you, he's cool. He promised not to tell Sora, he just . . . wants to know more. About you. Me. Us. Thinks he deserves an explanation if he's blindly swearing to keep this all to himself. Well, he'd probably talk to _me_ about it, but considering I'm part of it, it's still like keeping it to himself."

"Sora doesn't know?"

"Nope. And he's not going to."

"We'll see."

"I promise you, Riku. He won't say a thing."

"He'd better not."

It was like the world was crumbling down and every sense of security he'd had was coming to an end. Cloud had spilled. If he couldn't trust Cloud to keep his mouth shut around Sora, who could he trust? Riku knew Cloud only had the best intentions, but it was starting to get frustrating. How many times and ways did Riku have to tell Cloud that Sora just didn't _care_ about him anymore?

Now someone else knew—someone close to Sora—and Riku really _wanted_ to believe that Leon wouldn't say anything . . .

"You're mad, aren't you?" said Cloud. Riku rubbed a weary hand across his cheek and sighed.

"Not at you. Not really. I just . . . I _know_ you meant well. I just . . . don't want Sora to throw that at me next. I don't want the next cutting thing he says to be about my sexuality. I mean . . . that's something about _me_, not just something about where my mistakes got me. I guess it'd be something like him yelling at me for letting the Heartless into Destiny Islands, but worse, because that's at least something I did that I could have chosen not to. This is something that I just . . . _am_."

"It'll be okay. I promise. Leon wants to talk to you."

"What?"

"He's here. Right now. He wants to talk to you."

"Why does he want to talk to _me_?"

"I don't know. Maybe to reassure you."

Riku sighed. This was awkward and not at all how he first wanted to first talk to Cloud's best friend, but Cloud sounded so hopeful . . .

Riku just didn't know how to say no to him.

"Sure."

"Thank you. Okay. Hold on."

Riku listened as the phone clanked, passing hands from one to the other.

"Riku?"

Leon's voice was so different from Cloud's. It was deeper, smoother, older—one of Riku's favorite things about Cloud's voice was the boyish quality to it, but there was none of that in Leon's voice. He had a distant, reserved hint to the edges of his timbre—a hint that suggested he, as Cloud had said, didn't speak much, nor was he one to spill secrets. Against his better judgment, Riku trusted that voice straight away.

"Leon, right?" said Riku.

"Yeah. Uh . . . listen, I know this is kind of awkward, but Cloud here's looking a little worried. I just wanted to tell you myself that I'm not going to say anything to Sora. If you don't want him to find out from anyone but you, that's your business."

"Thanks."

"Can I ask you a question, because Cloud won't tell me anything for fear of losing your trust?"

Riku smiled. Cloud was a good boyfriend like that.

"Can't guarantee I'll answer you, but go ahead."

Leon snickered.

"All right. What's the deal with you and Sora, anyway?"

Riku sighed. 'I hate his guts,' didn't seem appropriate.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you used to be friends, right?"

"Yeah. We've been best friends for as long as I can remember, even before Kairi moved to Destiny Islands."

"So what happened?"

"I don't know. When Destiny Islands was taken over, I ended up in Hollow Bastion. Met Maleficent. Started working for her, cause she said she'd help me find Sora and Kairi. When I found Sora, he was so full of himself—I guess it wasn't what I envisioned our reunion to be. Just kept talking about himself and the Keyblade. Didn't bother to ask me about my life. So I didn't want him to hear it from anyone else. Now he apparently thinks I have no conscience. Cloud can tell you the rest."

"I'll be sure to let Cloud know that."

Riku heard something in the background that sounded like Cloud say, "Let me know what?" Riku snickered.

"I don't know," said Riku. "This thing between Cloud and me—whatever it is—it's one of those things you don't tell your enemies, and right now, I guess that's kind of what Sora and I are. It sucks, but . . ."

"It's how it is. I understand."

"Yeah."

"So is this just the end for you?"

"I don't know."

"All right. Listen, I'll let you talk to Cloud, but I'm going to stare him down for information, just to give you a fair warning."

"Thanks for that."

"No problem. This will just stay between the three of us, then. Like I said, it's your business to tell, not mine."

"Thanks."

"Sure. Here's Cloud."

Riku waited, and then Cloud's voice came back over the line. Riku couldn't help but smile.

"What can he let me know?"

"Nothing. Just that you can tell him anything he wants to know."

"So we're okay? You aren't going to kill me?"

"Nah. I trust him."

"Well that went better than expected."

"What can I say? I can't stay mad at you."

"I love you, Riku."

Riku's breath caught in his throat. Cloud couldn't have meant it _that_ way. Not the romantic, in love sort of way. He must have meant it in that teasing sort of way. That's sure what it had sounded like.

"I mean it. I love you."

There went _that_ theory.

"Riku?"

Shit.

"You still there?"

"You scared him away," said Leon in the background. Riku smiled.

"Shut up. Riku?"

"I'm here."

"Thought we might have gotten disconnected."

"Or you scared me away saying that you love me."

"Yeah, there was that, too."

"I love you, too."

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. Riku smirked.

"Cloud? You still there or did we get disconnected?"

"Shut up. Really?"

"Yes, really."

"I just wasn't expecting you to say it back."

"Well, I did, and now I have to go because I have to get one of the princesses of heart today, and I'm already late heading out. If Maleficent figures out anything about us . . ."

"Way ahead of you. Get going then and don't let me keep you."

"I love you."

"I love you, too," said Cloud, a smile in his voice.

Riku pressed end on his phone and looked out the window to the rolling clouds above the sea.

Riku's head ached; his emotions raged inside. Cloud loved him.

He'd said he was starting over, and it was as if a long chapter in his life just came to an end. He and Sora were no longer friends. His family was long gone. In a way, it was scary, coming into his own without Sora or his family, who he always imagined being there for the rest of his life. Even when he was building that raft, he'd planned on going back home eventually; Riku never truly believed he might never see the Islands again. It was even more real with his sixteenth birthday approaching, looming over him.

Just as his family gone and Sora an enemy ended this chapter, so did the years of struggling with his identity, and the hesitation to believe he'd be accepted for his sexuality, much less find a boyfriend. Not only had he now found a boyfriend (under the strangest circumstances possible), but Cloud _loved _him. Cloud loved him despite Riku's connection to the darkness, what Sora thought of him, and things like his age. Cloud loved him despite that he was about to set out to kidnap a princess of heart, and that he continued to work for Maleficent.

He had been ready for a beginning without really thinking about the end. Riku hoped in his heart that maybe one day, he and Sora would be friends again, Kairi would have her heart back, and he could see his family again. This time, though, he didn't want to go back. He wanted to take Cloud with him, and if that meant ending the last chapter to bring a new one, that was okay.

After all, Cloud loved him.

Right now, Riku was going to focus on what he had to do, and that was capturing Belle. That way, he could open that door and figure out how to get back Kairi's heart. If Sora had a problem with it, there was nothing he could do about that. Once Kairi got her heart back, he could have her and Cloud. Then they could set about a way to bring back Destiny Islands. Sora could surely see that Riku had a conscience then. Then he could have it all.

The old chapter kind of sucked anyway.

Riku pushed back the chair and opened a dark portal.

All good things come to an end, but that didn't mean it could make a path for something better.

* * *

**_I'm rather tired right now so I'll reply to reviewers next post_**

**_Thanks for reading. Signing off._**


	12. Theories and Unabated Lust

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 012. Promise

**Rating**: M

**Word Count**: 2,263

**Summary**: Cloud wasn't so good at keeping secrets, but promises tend to be easier. Especially when Leon is in his face and Riku is a sinfully underage little devil.

**Warnings**: Uh, there are some sexual references in this little segment. Blame Cloud. I can't help he's horny. And Riku's underage, so I guess I should warn about that, too, but Riku's been underage the whole time.

**Disclaimer**: They aren't mine. I just like to play with them.

**Author's Note**: Cloud is a sexy beast, and that's all I have to say about that.

* * *

_**Step Twelve: Theories and Unabated Lust**_

Cloud was keenly aware of Leon's eyes on him the entire time, listening to him talk to Riku like some damn _eavesdropper_. Never before had he been aware that Leon could be such a pain. He'd asked for privacy to call Riku, but apparently Leon felt that with Cloud having nothing to hide, he could sit in for these intimate phone calls.

It wasn't exactly like he broke his _promise_ to Riku or anything, but he'd been worried about how Riku would take the current situation. Leon sitting beside him as if he had a right to be there did little to ease his anxiety. Then he had the nerve to demand the phone. As if Cloud would allow Leon to talk to his boyfriend without Riku's permission.

It was about this point in his mental process that Cloud realized just how whipped he'd become without Riku ever trying at all. Cloud supposed he had no one to blame but himself. Somewhere along the way, he'd fallen in love with Riku, and got this odd idea into his head that he needed to do everything possible to not make Riku's issues with himself worse. This included keeping promises and actually admitting it when he'd . . . just maybe . . . well, blabbed his big mouth. To the point where he'd let just a little too much information slip.

Leon had always said Cloud was a rotten secret keeper.

"I can see why you like him so much," said Leon.

"Huh?"

"He's got that same easygoing yet fearless thing Zack had, but he's also like you. A lot."

"How do you figure?"

"Using the darkness and fighting it at the same time. His friends mean a lot to him. He's not happy about the way things are, but he accepts them. Can't stay rooted in one place for too long. Feels a lot worse about things than he lets you believe."

"You got all that from a five minute conversation?"

"And from what you've told me about him. It's hard to believe he and Sora are fighting so badly."

"They're misconstruing each other. That's about it. Sora thinks Riku's fallen to the darkness—which isn't wrong, but it's not the way that Sora thinks."

"Riku made a mistake and it snowballed."

"Exactly. It was all an accident, and now he's stuck. And Riku thinks Sora's become self-involved—"

"He's jealous of Kairi."

"What? No."

"Yes he is. He said he and Sora were best friends even before they knew Kairi. He's older than Sora—not by much, but still old enough for Sora to look up to him. I bet before the Heartless took over their home, Riku was the ringleader of their little gang. Bested Sora at just about everything. Got jealous when Kairi took away some of the adoration Sora used to give him—"

"He did say Sora's in love with Kairi."

"There you go. Now their world has fallen to darkness—"

"He did it. Riku's the one who opened the door to their world."

Leon's eyebrows rose. Cloud wasn't sure if he should be telling him this, but Riku had said he could tell Leon the story, and Leon seemed to have insight that Cloud might be too close to the situation to see.

"Really?"

"It was an accident. I guess. Just before their world fell, Riku, Sora, and Kairi made this raft they were going to cross the ocean with to see what was out there besides their island. Riku told me they have this Secret Place there—some little cave, or something—and the door to their world is in it. Riku was hanging out in there the night before they planned on leaving, and he heard—I don't know, he said he heard a voice telling him to open the door if he wanted to see other worlds."

"So he did."

"Yeah. I guess they tried to open it before but it never worked. This time it worked. And the Heartless took over. That's when he opened his heart to darkness. Woke up in Hollow Bastion."

"I see. So he blames himself for their world falling."

"Well, yeah. Wouldn't you?"

"That _is_ pretty bad."

"Yeah. He made a mistake."

"And it led him to where he is now."

"Right."

"There you go. Riku blames himself for their world falling. He meets Maleficent," said Leon, rolling his eyes, "and I'm guessing she was the first sign of life he found. Got suckered into the darkness. Couldn't have been too hard to do it, either, with him having already opened his heart, and so unaware of what was going on. I bet she was just thrilled to get her hands on the Keyblade master's best friend."

"I bet."

"So when he met up with Sora again, he was already wandering through darkness. Blaming himself for what happened to their home. He probably thought he'd see Sora again and it'd be the way it used to—he'd take over. Lead. Help Sora out with his great mission. Only Sora was doing just fine on his own. And so much has happened with Sora that he probably felt compelled to just spill it all out. There's a lot of pressure that goes with being a Keyblade master; Sora probably couldn't wait to tell Riku everything that had happened to him, _especially_ if he looks up to Riku."

"I think you're onto something there."

"Of course I am. Now tell me about this conscience deal."

Cloud quickly relayed everything Riku had told him about Monstro.

"Misconstruing each other is a little unfair," said Leon. "They're so off target on each other it's almost funny."

"How?"

"Sora's hurt. He looks up to Riku, and now Riku's messing with him. Not acting like he thinks a best friend should. Not at _all_ acting like who he thinks Riku is."

"But it's _very_ like Riku."

"Yeah, sure, but this is important stuff now. It isn't some silly little game they're playing. Riku's teasing just like always, but Sora's the Keyblade master with a serious mission. Playing games doesn't fall into that jurisdiction. He's worried about Kairi, and demanding to know about her, but Riku doesn't think Sora cares about either one of them. _That_ stems from insecurity about _himself_. Sora doesn't _need _him is the real problem. Riku still _needs_ to beat Sora if he wants to keep the illusion of the way things used to be, and this is the only way he can. Only Sora isn't letting him do it.

"He perceives Riku as the enemy right now, working with the darkness to get what he wants. Sora sees Riku as in the way; he's no different from any of the other people Sora's defeated, except for that he's _Riku_. Sora thinks that Riku's on the wrong side, and he wants him to come back to the light. He wants to help him. Riku can't stand that. He's independent. He can do things on his own without help—especially without _Sora's_ help. Sora doesn't help him; _he_ helps Sora. You see?"

"I think you just said more words right now than you have your entire life."

"Blow me."

"Can't. I'm committed. In love and all."

"Obviously. Speaking of which, time for you to tell me how _you_ factored into this. After all, you did promise."

"I did, didn't I?"

"Yes. You've gotten yourself into a sticky situation, you know."

"I'm realizing. This is more messed up than I thought."

"Stop deflecting."

"Fine. I was working for Hades and ran into Riku at Hollow Bastion. He disturbed me."

"What a way to fall in love. Disturbance."

"It's just . . . he was so _young_. It bothered me. Working with the darkness at his age."

"You're weird like that."

"Come on. Don't you think Sora's a little young to be a Keyblade master?"

"Beggars can't be choosers, Cloud. Besides, I think the Keyblade knows what it's doing."

"I know. I just . . . I talked to him. Riku. And I never really thought I'd see him again, but I ended up kind of _obsessing_ over him. Couldn't get him out of my head. So I went to see him after I fought Sora in the preliminaries. Before I even _knew_ they were friends. Found out when I saw Riku again. That conversation ended with us both admitting we were hot for each other and we got on the Gummi to go look for Sora."

"That's charming."

"It was sweet."

"You're sick like that."

"Why is that sick?"

"I know what you're saying by sweet. He was young, innocent, but still lost in the darkness. He gives you hope. You fell for him because he reminds you of yourself. That's what sick about it."

"I love _him_."

"I'm not saying your love for him is sick. I believe it's genuine. It just started from . . . I don't know. A dark place, I guess."

"Yeah. I know. But it's turned out so great."

"So what happened when you looked for Sora? That when you two started dating?"

"Yeah. I really got to know him, spending all that time with just the two of us. So when we went back to Hollow Bastion, I stuck around. That's when he saw Sora again and the feud began. He'd visit and tell me about what was going on with Maleficent. Went to Traverse Town to see you guys and got the phones. When I got back to Hollow Bastion, I took him down to the river. Then Maleficent found Kairi, he took off to Neverland, and I came here. So we've been talking on the phone ever since. I asked him to come see me when I do the Hercules Cup."

"Is he coming?"

"Don't know yet."

"Sorry I'm not going to be here to meet him if he does come, but I've got to head back to Traverse Town."

"It's okay. I'd like to spend some time alone with him anyway."

"I bet you would. You should call him back. Make him come see you."

"I would, but he's off doing more work for Maleficent."

"She's a nasty piece of work."

"I know, but . . . she's really the only person helping him with Kairi right now. I'd offer my services, but I doubt he'd accept. Maleficent knows more about the Heartless than I do, and he thinks he needs that resource."

"Call him, Cloud. Do it later. I don't care. How long has it been since you've seen each other?"

"Honestly, not very long, but it feels like years."

"Call him. Have you screwed yet?"

"Real eloquent, Leon."

"What? Have you?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. He's fifteen. I doubt he's experienced."

"All the more fun. You can train him."

"That's not funny."

"I never said it was. I'm dead serious."

"And that's what makes you sick."

Leon shrugged.

----------0----------

Cloud stared at the ceiling of the hotel room, listening to Yuffie ramble about something unimportant. From Leon's occasional grunts and huffs, Cloud could tell he was hardly listening. It was a nice change of pace; Cloud found Leon was not only talking too much for his health, but was becoming far too interested in Cloud's love life. After all, Cloud didn't know how much more he could take of Leon's prying even if it was nice to have someone to talk to about Riku.

He was pondering how—if Riku did come, that was—he'd approach the subject (and hopefully, the act) of sex without seeming like a desperate pervert when his phone rang.

Speak of the sinfully underage devil . . .

"Who is always calling you?" said Yuffie. "You aren't _that_ interesting."

"It's just Cloud's boyfriend," said Leon, smirking.

"Yeah, right," said Yuffie, rolling her eyes. "Like I said, he isn't _that_ interesting."

Cloud smirked, flipped his middle finger at Yuffie, and walked out onto the balcony.

"Hey, gorgeous."

There was a pause on the other end.

"Hey yourself," said Riku.

"How did the kidnapping go?"

"It sounds so bad when you say it that way."

"Been spending too much time with Leon. Regardless, how did it go?"

"Belle is safely in Hollow Bastion with the others. Just one more princess to go. Then I can start figuring out how to get Kairi's heart back."

"Sounds good. Hey, I was planning on calling you, anyway. Wanted to make sure you were coming to see the Hercules Cup."

"That the one you're fighting in?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. Sora . . ."

"I told you I have ways around Sora."

"I know, but . . ."

"I miss you, Riku. It's felt like ages."

"I miss you, too."

"So come see me. We can make out, and I'll give you that blow job I promised you."

"It's all about sex with you, isn't it?"

"Don't pretend you don't want it, baby. I can hear the desire in your voice."

Riku laughed. Cloud smiled. He wasn't completely joking.

"Oh, yeah, baby. I'm so hot for you right now."

"I know."

"You promise I can get around having to see Sora?"

"Yes. Come make out with me in my hotel room."

"You're so romantic."

"Now, Riku, that didn't sound convincing. Say it like you mean it."

"I'll be there, okay?"

Cloud smiled. With Riku, it was best to joke about things, make him laugh, and be completely serious while doing it. He may not be so good at keeping secrets, but Cloud was sure he'd have no problem keeping this promise.

* * *

**_Grr... sucks and my cat won't get off my lap because he's spilled his water in his food dish again, thus making it unfit to eat._**

**_I already typed up all the responses to my reviews and everything, but failed to save it, so I'm going to try this again._**

**darktenshi17**: I'm sorry there were only ten when you got here, but I write these things pretty frequently, so there will be more before you know it. In fact, there's two more as I type. Yay! As far as the reviews . . . I don't know. I guess it's just not a popular pairing. ::shrug::

**Ayatsuji**: I don't know how long your fandom life has been, but I've probably been over in Harry Potter. I love you, too, especially when you're pimping out my story. I love when people pimp me. ::smile:: I'm glad you like _my_ Cloud.

**Lapse - Raevn**: I know what you mean about the lack of Cloud/Riku fics. I was so distressed about not being able to find a canon Cloud/Riku serial where Riku isn't a Sephiroth substitute that I signed up for a 100 fic challenge and wrote it myself. I find this often happens to me . . . hmm . . . that can't be good. I really love the Cloud/Riku pairing. I think they're so well suited for each other--maybe even better matched than Sora/Riku, which I love to death. I plan on following the original plot straight through the end of KH2, so we'll see where this takes us. I like trying to shove this romance in the existing storyline and have it still make sense. It's fun.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: I already know how this story ends--and Cloud and Riku's fates--but shh . . . I'm not telling. At least not yet. I guess I have to eventually or the story would never be finished. I'm touched that you're touched. Romantic yet heartbreaking is exactly what I was going for. Quite honestly, I loved the way the last segment ended, Riku so hopeful as he opens a dark portal. It's kind of twisted, I guess, but sweet at the same time. ::sigh::

**_A thank you to all those who read and did not review. I appreciate you all._**

**_Uh . . . next segment . . . when I write it. I have a busy weekend coming up, but I might get a chance tomorrow. Don't know yet, but I work straight through this entire weekend. Saturday is looking really iffy. Probably Sunday at the latest, though I work then, too, so maybe Monday. It'll be a surprise. Yay!_**

**_Next prompt is Sacrifice. Next point of view is, of course, Riku's. What to expect? Neverland._**

**_Until then . . ._**

**_Signing off._**


	13. Encouragement and Regret

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 13. Sacrifice

**Rating**: M

**Word Count**: 5,009

**Summary**: Wherein Riku can't control his mouth, Cloud is worried, and Ansem finally makes his presence known.

**Disclaimer**: I asked for the rights to Kingdom Hearts, but I was informed I could not have them, so sadly, they still aren't mine, and I will give them back when I'm finished, if only to borrow them again.

**Author's Note**: I am sick. And busy. And when the Christmas season is over, I'm sure I will have the opportunity to write more. Until then, I apologize for taking so long to get these prompts out. I also apologize because I fished an old Harry Potter story off my old hard drive, let my little sister read it again, and she is already demanding more of the twelve chapter serial. Cloud and Riku, however, are still very important to me, so don't lose hope.

* * *

**_Step Thirteen: Encouragement and Regret_**

"You're needed on deck," said Smee, Captain Hook's first mate. "The Captain said to tell you someone important has been captured, and there's another one on the way that he needs your help for."

"Okay," said Riku, putting the phone back in his pocket. Suppose he wasn't calling Cloud now.

Smee nodded and walked out of the room.

Captain Hook was driving Riku insane. This was supposed to be a simple task, getting Kairi back to Hollow Bastion. As far as Riku understood, Captain Hook came upon Kairi in Neverland, and informed Maleficent, who, in turn, informed Riku. It would be tasking to bring Kairi through a dark portal (though he wasn't sure what the difference between Kairi and the princesses were except Kairi didn't have her heart), so Captain Hook was to bring them both to Hollow Bastion on his ship. The only thing was that Captain Hook was taking his sweet old time.

Belle was safely taken to Hollow Bastion weeks ago, and the Hercules Cup grew closer. Riku didn't know how he'd get away from Neverland to see Cloud at this rate, and when he'd told Cloud so last night, Cloud had grown quiet. He felt stressed and tired; the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint Cloud, even if there was a chance he'd run into Sora.

Sora. There was another thing he'd thought about a lot lately. Sora and Cloud's friend, Leon, who knew about their relationship. Sora, Leon, and Kairi, who was no closer to her heart. There was still one more princess to go, though Maleficent failed to tell him who, and Riku suspected she had no idea. Captain Hook was convinced the seventh princess must be Wendy, a girl in Neverland who took care of Peter Pan and his Lost Boys—the bane of Captain Hook's existence.

As much as Riku didn't like Captain Hook, though, he didn't care much for Peter Pan, either. He was immature, annoying, arrogant, and self-centered—much like Sora was these days. Riku imagined that when Sora finally showed up in Neverland, he and Peter Pan would either get along great or clash horribly. If it was the latter, Riku hoped he was there for it. He was growing insatiably bored, and watching the two of them duke it out and possibly kill each other would not only be a source of great entertainment, but eliminate two of his most recent annoyances.

Not that he wanted Sora dead, but there was a good chance that Sora would take out Peter Pan before Peter ever got a good swing it. Sora would, of course, gloat, but Riku didn't have to stick around long enough to listen.

Riku figured it was a matter of days before Sora showed up in Neverland. Captain Hook had been beside himself with glee the previous night having successfully gotten his hands on Wendy, who was locked in a room somewhere on the ship. Riku hadn't paid too much attention to Captain Hook then, more interested in when he'd get the opportunity to call Cloud.

It was his only stability at the moment—the only thing really keeping him grounded. Talking to Cloud forced Riku to really stay focused on the light left in his heart. He needed that now, especially when his heart felt more clouded and blacker by the moment. The last time bringing Belle to Hollow Bastion had been painful—frightening almost. Opening a dark portal made his heart feel tight and weak, his heartbeat dull. Passing through one was worse—his head heavy, thoughts distorted.

That voice had come back—the one from the Secret Place in Destiny Islands—and it dangled the darkness in front of him, fed every angry and negative emotion he felt. If he thought about Sora, the voice would agree with everything he said, and talk about how much better Riku was than Sora. When he thought about Leon, the voice mentioned all insecurities he had about his secrets becoming exposed. Even when he thought about Cloud and tried to cling to the happiness, the voice told him that Cloud didn't really love him, and was really siding with Sora about the entire situation. When Riku worried about his heart, the voice talked at great length about Riku's talents and strength of heart. Worst of all, sometimes Riku couldn't tell which thoughts were his and which ones came from the voice.

Riku wished he could make it shut up.

It was true, though. He wasn't as arrogant or uncaring as Sora these days. Sora had a good heart, but Riku's was stronger—he was _in_ the darkness, and he hadn't fallen victim. Sora would have fallen from grace by now. Sure, the darkness was _affecting_ his heart, but he wasn't taken, and the Heartless obeyed him. They weren't about to take his heart any time soon. Riku wouldn't allow it.

"What's taking so long?" Maleficent demanded, stepping out of a dark portal. Riku looked away from Kairi to Maleficent. "You should have been back by now."

"Ask Captain Hook. He's convinced Wendy is the seventh princess of heart. He thinks he's doing you a favor," said Riku. He rolled his eyes. "And you said I couldn't bring Kairi without transportation because I rely too much on my dark powers."

"That girl is unnecessary," said Maleficent. "Tell him to get rid of her and set course for Hollow Bastion immediately."

She disappeared back into the portal.

Riku sunk his head into his hands. He didn't know how much more of this he could take.

There was so much more he could be doing with his time.

"But you're so good at what you do," said the voice. "Your dark powers far outstretch Maleficent's."

He could be with Cloud.

"He doesn't love you like you want him to. Do you really think he'll stick around for long?"

He felt his life, his happiness, and his hope slipping away. He looked back at Kairi and sighed, standing to go find Captain Hook.

"I hope you know I'm doing this for you," he said, pushing the chair in.

Walking out of the door and onto the balcony, Riku glanced around the deck for a sign of the Captain. Maleficent seemed pretty angry, but at least he could be rid of Wendy and Peter Pan. All the better for that. Instead of spotting Captain Hook, however, he spotted a familiar head of pointy brown spikes and Riku smirked. It was odd how just when he wondered when Sora would arrive, there Sora would be as if on cue, coming to play hero. So this was who Captain Hook needed his help to capture.

Riku hoped Sora knew he had no intentions of playing the villain. He was the one helping Kairi, not Sora. He commanded the pirate Heartless to bring Kairi out onto the balcony.

"I didn't think you'd come, Sora," said Riku. Sora gasped from the deck and looked up to the balcony. "Good to see you again."

"Where are Donald and Goofy?"

Riku suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. As if he knew or cared. Riku felt the mean streak and anger fill him again, only this time he couldn't quite suppress it.

"You're better than this," said the voice.

"Are they that important to you? More important than old friends?" said Riku. "Instead of worrying about them, you should be asking about her."

Riku stepped aside to reveal Kairi and the condition she was in—hollow and empty as ever. Maybe then Sora would realize where his behavior had gotten her. Maybe then Sora would stop thinking about himself for a change or realize that the duck and dog weren't as important as Kairi. Maybe Sora would realize that Riku was taking care of things that Sora hadn't bothered to worry about.

"Kairi!" said Sora.

"That's right. While you were off goofing around, I finally found her."

Sora ran towards them, but was intercepted by Captain Hook.

"Not so fast," said Captain Hook. "No shenanigans aboard my vessel, boy."

Pirate Heartless surrounded Sora, their swords drawn. Sora appeared unfazed.

"Riku, why are you siding with the Heartless?"

Leave it to Sora to blame Riku when he hadn't intercepted him from reaching Kairi, but nonetheless, Riku couldn't argue that he _was_ siding with the Heartless. Riku knew Sora would react this way—he always did. Luckily, Riku had also learned how to play Sora's game.

"The Heartless obey me now, Sora. Now I have nothing to fear."

"You're stupid. Sooner or later, they'll swallow your heart."

Riku laughed.

"Not a chance. My heart's too strong."

"Riku . . ."

"I've picked up a few other tricks as well. Like this, for instance."

He held out a hand and watched as a Heartless-like Sora rose from the ground, a Heartless he'd created around Neverland before—just a little something he liked to call Anti-Sora.

"Why are you so obsessed with that boy?" said the voice. "You're better than him, you know?"

Captain Hook looked at Riku expectantly. That's right; Captain Hook was capturing Sora. Probably planned on taking him to Hollow Bastion for Maleficent, too. Well, Maleficent _would_ be happy to have Sora out of the way if they succeeded—though Riku suspected they wouldn't. Still, he could indispose of Sora for the time being. He imagined the duck and the dog were in the hold as he noticed Sora stood right above it.

He really couldn't be bothered with Sora right now. He had Captain Hook to deal with. Besides, Donald and Goofy were really who Sora wanted to see, anyway.

"You can go see your friends, now," said Riku.

A trap door opened beneath Sora's feet and Sora dropped through. The Heartless closed the door.

"Let's get under way, already," said Riku, looking at Captain Hook. "And keep Sora away from Kairi until we're ready to land."

Riku turned around and walked back into the Captain's room. The Heartless had already taken Kairi to be with Wendy. He heard the words, "scurvy brat," as he entered and closed the door. Honestly, Riku couldn't care less what Captain Hook thought of him after all the delays. Riku stood by the wall and fingered the phone in his pocket. Cloud wasn't going to like it when Riku told him what had happened.

"That's because he doesn't love you."

"Shut up, voice," Riku muttered.

Now that he was calming, Riku wondered if maybe he hadn't been a little . . . harsh . . . with Sora. After all, Sora had looked genuinely worried when he saw Kairi—even made to run for her. He hadn't screamed at Riku—only called him stupid, which Riku supposed he might have been. He had nothing to fear? When he felt fear every day for his heart?

Okay, so maybe he'd been trying to get to Sora, but that didn't mean they couldn't make up. Sora could sit in the hold on the Jolly Roger until they got to Hollow Bastion and think about the way he'd been behaving. Sora would be calmed down by then, too, and they could talk this out. They could get Kairi's heart back together.

"He doesn't care about you anymore," said the voice. "You have to dispose of him."

"I'm not _disposing_ of Sora."

The door to the Captain's cabin opened and Captain Hook walked in.

"You could have told me it was Sora you wanted me to throw in the hold," said Riku.

"There wasn't time for that," said Captain Hook.

"Maleficent came by. She said Wendy's not one of the princesses and we're to get rid of her before we reach Hollow Bastion."

"What? So Wendy's not one of the chosen ones?"

"There are seven, supposedly, and Maleficent says she's not one of them." Riku turned away from Captain Hook. "Hoist anchor as soon as possible. Leave all the dead weight behind, including her."

"After the trouble of capturing her? And why those seven? What is Maleficent planning, anyway?"

Once again, as if Riku knew or cared.

"Who knows? As long as it means getting Kairi's heart back, I couldn't care less."

"You're wasting your time!" said Captain Hook. Riku almost laughed in his face. Like he cared what Riku did with his time. "The Heartless have devoured that girl's heart. I'll stake me other hand it's lost forever."

"I will find it now matter what."

Smee's voice broke into the room through a large pipe coming out of the floor and against the far wall.

"Uh, Captain . . . The prisoner's have escaped," said Smee. Riku turned to look at the pipe, eyes narrowed. There went that plan. "What's more, Peter Pan is with them."

Sora worked fast. Riku was almost impressed.

"Blast that Peter Pan," said Captain Hook. "All right, then! Bring the hostage to me cabin, Smee! Hop to it!"

Captain Hook moved out of the room, and Riku awaited Kairi's arrival in the cabin.

----------0----------

"Hello?"

"Hey," said Riku.

"Hey, gorgeous. You sound stressed."

Cloud always had a way of pointing out the obvious.

"Sora's here. In Neverland."

"And it's going disastrous."

"That's what I wanted to call you about. I'm . . . You know how Maleficent doesn't want me bringing Kairi to Hollow Bastion through the dark portals?"

"Right."

"Well, Sora's probably about to off Captain Hook sometime soon and then I'm going to be screwed. We had him captured and down in the hold—"

"You_ captured_ Sora?"

"Well, Captain Hook did it, but I figured I'd leave him down there to figure some stuff out, and then talk to him about getting Kairi's heart back when we got to Hollow Bastion, but . . . well, Sora doesn't seem in the mood for talking."

"I guess not if you stuck him in the hold."

"Yeah, well, anyway, I don't want to lose the chance to take Kairi to Hollow Bastion, so I'm just going to do it, and I wanted to call you and let you know. You know, in case I lose my heart or something doing it. Let you know I love you and all."

Cloud was silent for a moment.

"Be careful, Riku."

"You're so great, you know that?"

"Why's that?"

"I can tell you want to lecture me."

"Well, I don't know if it's the best idea. You should at least talk to Sora—"

"Cloud, I'm so angry at him right now I'm just going to blow up at him and say things I don't mean. He's going to insult me. I'm going to get defensive. It's going to be a mess and nothing will be accomplished. I can't control it. I mean, I already told him I can control the Heartless, have nothing to fear because my heart's too strong to be taken, showed him Kairi, and then opened the trapdoor to the hold. All I really wanted to do was make him see how hard I'm trying to help Kairi, and that I'm not pure evil."

"You really can't control yourself," said Cloud, laughing. "Not the best way to go about it, though."

"I know that. I messed up. I just . . . I'll call you if I make it, okay."

"I still don't know if you should be so willing to sacrifice your heart."

"This is for Kairi, not me."

"That's why it's a sacrifice. If it was for you, it'd just be a risk."

"I would do the same for you, Cloud. Please don't ask me not to do it for her."

"I won't ask you. I would do it for you, too. Just be careful. I still would like you to come to the Hercules Cup, you know, and I would be really upset to lose my boyfriend."

"I will be. But, hey, I can sneak away from Hollow Bastion better than here, so if I make it—"

"When you make it—"

"I'll probably get away to come see you in Olympus Coliseum for a few days."

"I'll see you soon, then."

Riku smiled. Cloud was unhappy—the strain in his voice said it all. Still, he didn't argue. Riku was thankful for the support despite Cloud's personal feelings on it. He was so perfect. Riku couldn't wait until this was all over and they could just be together.

"Okay," said Riku. "I love you. Thank you."

"You know I love you," said Cloud. "I just worry for your heart, too."

"I know."

"You're getting lost farther in the darkness. I don't want you to end up like me, unable to see the light for ages."

"Won't happen so long as I have you."

"I hope you're right, because I'm not going anywhere. Now go get Kairi back to Hollow Bastion. You can talk to me then."

"Okay. I'll call you _when_ I get there."

"Well, after you get away from Maleficent at least."

"Right."

"Talk to you soon."

"You, too."

Riku pressed end on the phone and watched as the Heartless brought Kairi into the Cabin. He dismissed them, picked her up, and made his way toward the deck, intent on letting Captain Hook know he was leaving. He made it to the balcony door before Sora burst in. Riku stilled. He took a step back away from Sora.

"Riku, wait!" said Sora, holding a hand out as if it would stop him.

Riku took another step back. Sora wasn't going to get in the way of rescuing Kairi. Not now, not ever. He opened a dark portal beneath his feet and summoned an Anti-Sora. That should keep him busy. Riku disappeared into the portal.

----------0----------

There was nothing but darkness, the smell turning his stomach over. Everything around him was black and reeked of the stench. He stumbled, fell to his knees, and panted. His heart pulled tight in his chest; his lungs begged for air. Fog swam around his head, and Riku felt his grip on Kairi loosen.

He tried to conjure an image of Cloud in his head.

_If you get through this, you can see him again. Not just talk to him on the phone, but see him, and kiss him, and touch him, and make love with him._

The pressure lessened; Riku stood, and readjusted his grip on Kairi. He took another step toward Hollow Bastion.

_Cloud's counting on you. You can't let him down like this._

The steps became easier—the passages of darkness easier to navigate. He pictured Cloud the way he'd looked the first time he met him in Hollow Bastion, the way he looked after their first kiss, and the way he looked when he slept or smiled. Riku imagined the sound of his voice and how soft his blond spiky hair really felt.

When he saw anything other than pitch black again, he was in Hollow Bastion, kneeling before Maleficent.

"It was reckless to bring her here without at least using a vessel," said Maleficent. Riku looked up at her. "Remember, relying too heavily on the dark powers could cost you your heart."

As if he didn't already know that.

Riku heard a loud, growling noise—something almost beast-like, and looked questioningly to Maleficent.

"A castaway," she said. Riku smirked. Belle's Beast, he imagined. "Though his world perished, his heart did not. When we took the princess from his castle, he apparently followed her here through sheer force of will. But fear not. No harm will come to you. He is no match for your power."

Riku had just been thinking he understood. He'd do the same for Cloud—follow him through the darkness. Maleficent, however caught him off-guard. He hoped this wasn't leading to more dark gifts that would eat away further at his heart.

"My power?"

"Yes, the untapped power that lies within you. Now, child, it is time you awakened that power and realized your full potential."

----------0----------

She hadn't called it a gift and Riku figured it really wasn't. He looked at the Keyblade on his desk. A Keyblade to unlock people's hearts. A dark Keyblade. Riku didn't even know Keyblades _could_ be dark.

He turned the information Maleficent had just told him over in his head. It hadn't helped that the voice had assisted in the telling. It was even worse that this time, he wasn't the only one hearing the voice, and now the voice had a name. Maleficent called him Ansem. This was his castle. The books Riku obsessed over in the library on hearts were his. His body, Maleficent said, was sealed up in that big keyhole where Kairi's heart could be found.

That wasn't all, either.

Maleficent said Sora didn't have what it took to save Kairi, even if he was a Keyblade master. His heart wasn't strong enough to go through the portal. He couldn't withstand the darkness. In fact, he wasn't supposed to be a Keyblade master at all.

Riku was the Keyblade master.

Quite honestly, Riku found this all wholly unbelievable until Maleficent and Ansem started to elaborate. Ansem had been locked up in the keyhole and contacted Riku on Destiny Islands not to take over their world, but _because_ he was the Keyblade master, and opening the door would allow Riku to travel to the other worlds he needed to travel to. The Heartless getting in was just because, well, the Heartless were everywhere. The only reason Destiny Islands hadn't been opened before was _because _Riku lived there, _and_ the Keyblade master.

Only it had gone wrong. Riku had been too selfish, wanting to see other worlds. Too willing to use the darkness. Too weak in the moment, and the Keyblade had passed to Sora.

Apparently, this ruined everything Ansem intended by trying to retrieve Riku in the first place, because now Sora was running around sealing up the worlds' keyholes and killing everyone in his path. Not to mention, he just didn't have what it took.

With Sora growing closer to Hollow Bastion, Ansem said, they had to tell him. Riku had to know, because now he had a new mission.

They were—as they said—waiting for Sora to arrive in Hollow Bastion, biding their time. Riku couldn't just take the Keyblade. He had to wait for Sora to bring it to them, and then Riku could take back what was rightfully his.

Riku tried to fight it, tell them they were crazy, until they told him that no one but a Keyblade master can take the Keyblade. It just transfers back to its owner, which was why Maleficent or her allies couldn't take it from Sora. Riku thought back to his meeting with Sora in Traverse Town, and how easily he'd taken the Keyblade from Sora, and it hadn't disappeared. In fact, he'd actually given it back to him.

Still, they could be lying.

He pulled the phone from his pocket and dialed Cloud's number.

"You made it," said Cloud.

"Yeah. I have a question for you."

"What's that?"

"How much do you know about Keyblades?"

"A bit, why?"

"Do you know if it's true that no one but a Keyblade master can wield a Keyblade?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, if you aren't a Keyblade master and you just take the Keyblade from one, will you just not be able to use it, or will it—I don't know. Disappear from your hands and go back to the Keyblade master."

"The second one," said Cloud. "Only a Keyblade master can take the Keyblade. Why?"

Riku swallowed.

"Have you heard of Ansem?"

"Sure. He lived at Maleficent's castle. Fell to the darkness and then disappeared. Started this whole Heartless mess. Why?"

"I talked to him. He and Maleficent. They're working together. He's the one who got me to open the door on the Islands. Said he contacted me because _I_ was the Keyblade master, but . . ."

"What?"

"They told me that _I'm_ the Keyblade master, not Sora. They said my heart was too weak when I opened the door, though. I was too selfish, and too willing to accept the darkness. I was too—I don't know. Regretful about letting in the Heartless. In that moment of weakness, the Keyblade passed from me to Sora. I thought it sounded like a lot of crap to get me even more at odds with Sora."

"That's what it sounds like to me."

"Only . . . I took the Keyblade."

"_What_?"

"No. Not today. Remember when I went to see Sora in Traverse Town?"

"How could I forget? That's when this feud started in the first place."

"I told you he freaked out at me because I was holding his precious Keyblade. I took it. It didn't go back to Sora, not even when he started freaking out because I had it. I _gave_ it back to him."

Cloud was quiet on the other end.

"You can wield the Keyblade," he said, at last.

"Right. So it can't be a load of crap completely if I can wield a Keyblade, but no one but a Keyblade master should be able to. I mean, I don't trust them, or buy the entire story, but there's got to be some truth to it, right?"

"You've got to be a Keyblade master."

Riku sighed.

"Right."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. On the one hand, I feel like snatching _my_ Keyblade from Sora, laughing in his face, and showing him that just because he had it for a little while, it was never really his. On the other hand . . . I feel kind of bad."

"Bad?" said Cloud, his voice raising. "Why?"

"I don't know. I guess if I hadn't been so . . . I don't know. 'Willing to use the darkness' and 'regretful,' my heart wouldn't have been weak at the time, the Keyblade would have never passed to Sora, and this entire mess could've been avoided. I mean, you said there's a lot of pressure being a Keyblade master, right? And Sora really _isn't_ as good at fighting as I am. If he's this preoccupied just because of stress . . . that's kind of my fault for not being to handle it, either, right? It shouldn't be his burden to bear just because I was selfish."

"You sound like you regret the way you've been acting about Sora."

"Maybe a little."

"So what's your course of action?"

"I don't know. Maleficent and Ansem want me to get the Keyblade from him. They think I'm going to need it when I'm looking for Kairi's heart, and Sora isn't going to be able to handle the darkness through that keyhole like I can. I guess that's because I've been around the darkness so much already. So . . . I think I'm going to let the Keyblade choose."

"Let the Keyblade choose?"

"Yeah. I mean, if I can call it from Sora . . . that means he shouldn't have it, right? Instead of just . . . I don't know." Riku laughed. "Beating him with my little wooden sword and snatching it away."

On the other end, Cloud snickered. The smile was back in his voice.

"To tell you the truth, I think approached right, even Sora would understand letting the Keyblade choose, especially if it's to save Kairi's heart. I don't think there's a fairer way to decide who should have it."

"There's another thing, though, and you aren't going to like it. _I_ don't like it."

"What's that?"

"Maleficent and Ansem gave me more dark powers. When I use them now—I don't know. My clothing transforms into this red and blue outfit and all of my attacks are enhanced, and . . . I don't know. It's dark powers."

"Oh, Riku . . ."

"I know. I don't like it, either, but I need to make things right, you know? I have to make up all this bad stuff I've done to Kairi, and if I have to give myself up for it—Kairi should have her heart back, don't you think? I don't think that I could live with myself if I just turned my back on it because I was too worried about my own heart. My selfishness is what got us into this in the first place."

"I know. Just . . . don't sacrifice too much."

"I _won't_ lose my heart. I found my way back to Hollow Bastion, and it was terrible, but I thought about you, and . . . it worked. I found enough light to keep the darkness away."

"Let's hope that continues to work. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"Listen, Cloud, I told Maleficent and Ansem I need some time alone to think about this whole Keyblade master thing, and that I'd be going away for a few days. You know what that means, right?"

The smile returned to Cloud's voice.

"When should I come get you?"

"The sooner the better."

"I'm halfway out the door. Pick you up tomorrow. I'll call before I land in Hollow Bastion, and then we'll head back to Olympus Coliseum."

"When's the Hercules Cup?"

"Three days. We have enough time. Then you can stay the night, and I'll take you back to Hollow Bastion the day after."

"So, that's like, three days together, right?"

"Right."

"Are we going to get down and dirty?"

"Depends. Do you want to?"

"I'd like to lose my virginity before I throw myself to darkness, yes."

Cloud laughed.

"Well when you put it that way, I can't let you go into the darkness a virgin, can I?"

"I sure hope not."

"Everything's going to be okay. You know that, right?"

"No, but I'm glad you have faith in me."

"No one as determined as you can possibly give in."

"What if the darkness does take me?"

"You'll find a way out of it. Just like you did today."

Riku smiled.

"You have no idea how much I hope you're right."

* * *

**_Thanks to everyone for reading and . . . uh, the one review. ::grin::_**

**_So I don't know if there will be another one before Christmas. Possibly tomorrow. Don't know yet, but if there isn't one before Christmas, have a good one._**

**_And if you don't celebrate Christmas, Happy Holidays._**

**_And if you just don't celebrate anything this time of year, Happy December._**

**_Love._**


	14. A Certain Sense of Abandonment

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 014. Stars

**Word Count**: 1,769

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: The problem (or blessing) with Riku was that Cloud could overanalyze, worry, and spend two months away from Riku at a time, but the second he heard his voice, touched his skin, or felt Riku's breath against his lips, it was all lost. Cloud forgot his doubts, lived in the moment, and all that existed was Riku and the stars.

**Disclaimer**: Me and Santa just talked last night and he said he'd bring me the rights to Kingdom Hearts for Christmas, but just as we were about to make it a binding legal contract, Rudolph came down with a nasty case of reindeer-pox, and Santa had to go. Of course I don't have any rights to Kingdom Hearts. There's no such thing as reindeer-pox.

**Author's Note**: Honestly, this came out nothing like I expected (which often seems to happen with Cloud's segments). I had planned on more dialogue and less prose. I hadn't intended on digging into Cloud's head. I had planned on them actually arriving in Olympus Coliseum. I thought it was going to be longer. I'm happy, though, because it just occurred to me how horrible and awful this is going to make it when Hollow Bastion comes along in prompt 17. Not that I want to torture these poor boys, but I always thought Riku's story was kind of heartbreaking, and I want that to come across. Heh. pats self on the back

* * *

**_Step Fourteen: A Certain Sense of Abandonment_**

If Cloud's sweaty palms were any indication, he was nervous. Nervous to see Riku again after almost two months of separation with only the cell phones to remain in contact. The worst part of it all was that he wasn't even sure what he was nervous about. It wasn't as if he hadn't talked to Riku since then, or it had been so long that Riku would look like a completely different person. Sure, Riku had been infused with darkness a few times, but Cloud figured he was still Riku; would look, smell, and sound just the same.

Still, Cloud was nervous.

This was typical of Cloud, though, to be nervous around people he needn't be nervous about. He was nervous every time he saw Aerith, Leon, Yuffie, Tifa, or Cid. His unease with his friends, however, was most often caused by insecurity with himself; Cloud often felt shame seeing them, as well, because he took off for months at a time without checking in. He feared their judgment and disapproval, which Cloud didn't think would be unwarranted as he often judged and disapproved himself. It just hurt more coming from them.

Perhaps it had something to do with physically being with Riku. Cloud was a solitary person by choice—whether out of shame or enjoyment, he wasn't sure which—and being away from Riku so long was natural. Missing Riku's presence wasn't something Cloud had counted on, because while he missed his friends when away (hence the guilt), Cloud was able to push it aside. They understood. While Riku understood as well, it just wasn't the same.

Riku was a different situation. He was someone Cloud hadn't grown up with his entire life; someone who didn't know everything there was to know about him. In a way, meeting Riku the way he did, it left much room for interpretation, but at the same time, exposed Cloud's weakest points. It was liberating. There was something about meeting a complete stranger, growing close to him, and getting to know each other while building the romantic relationship that put Cloud at ease.

It was almost like starting over. There was no pressure to behave a certain way, and with Riku's age and situation, there was no shame. Riku was nothing like Aerith or Tifa, who always knew the right things to do, and actually did them. Riku was much like Cloud, stumbling through situations as they came upon him, and if things went awry, Riku went to Plan B. Riku wasn't always happy with himself or his situations, and he certainly wasn't always understanding or sympathetic.

For Cloud, that meant there was never a reason to hide anything from Riku. It also left open the unspoken invitation to express disappointments, regrets, and his inner conflicts between what he was and what he thought he ought to be without a lecture or words of wisdom. Riku would offer advice, but little more, as Riku wasn't afraid to admit he didn't always know what the 'right thing to do' was.

Cloud imagined he was the same way for Riku—someone who didn't know Riku before he was lost in the darkness, and had never seen Destiny Islands. If Cloud had grown up there, known Riku before, he might have felt differently about the current situation. He might have been angry about what Riku had done, and called it selfishness instead of knowing that it had been a mistake on Riku's part, and probably a set-up as well. That didn't matter, though, because this was the Riku he knew and fell in love with.

In turn, Cloud wasn't always so withdrawn, so torn about what he thought people expected of him. Since caving to darkness, though, out of a craving to be someone important, something more than ordinary, Cloud found himself humiliated for his actions. Riku wasn't there for the creation of Sephiroth, and never saw how much Cloud had changed. It allowed Cloud to be more open. Riku didn't expect anything of him.

In time, he was sure that he and Riku would tell each other everything about what they were like before. They'd exchange stories about the good times when they were still innocent and happy. Still, knowing because you are told and knowing because you were there are two very different things. Cloud would know about Riku because he was told, but Sora would always know what Riku was like before the darkness, and would constantly compare the two whether he meant to or not. Riku would know because Cloud told him, and that could be okay. Aerith and Tifa would always know because they'd been there.

For someone like Cloud, who was used to pulling into himself, this was a bit terrifying. Riku had never met Cloud before the darkness, and therefore, could not be disappointed. The only Cloud that Riku had ever known was the current version, whom Cloud didn't like all that much and spent a large amount of time wallowing in his own grief. It didn't matter, though, because Riku loved _this _Cloud, and Cloud would never be the way he was again.

It seemed fitting; Riku actually wallowed more than Cloud. Riku, however, was naïve, and for all the wallowing he did, it always turned into twisted optimism.

Cloud liked that. When he felt bad about the things he'd done or failed to do, Riku had a new, morbid situation that demanded attention. At the very least, Cloud could always be thankful that he wasn't Sora or Riku right now.

Which was why—Cloud supposed—his palms were sweating. Riku was nothing more than a person Cloud held very dear to his heart. It was only the two of them. When there comes to be that much significance in one person, things tend to get serious.

For a few days, Riku wouldn't just mean his boyfriend's voice, but they'd be together—able to touch each other—and it had been so long since that month on the Gummi ship that Cloud almost couldn't believe it had actually happened. He carried a lot of fear and doubt about Riku, but also a lot of hope that this relationship would be the right one, the one that stuck. The scariest part about that was that by allowing hope, there is a chance for disappointment.

----------0----------

"I'll be landing in five minutes," said Cloud, looking out the window of the Gummi. "Can you come out and play, or do I have to wait?"

"I can come," said Riku. "Maleficent and Ansem have mostly left me alone since telling me about this Keyblade thing. I told them I'd be gone for the next few days to collect my thoughts, so . . . I'll meet you at the Gummi? The usual place?"

"Yeah."

"Is this really happening?"

"What?"

"Am I really about to see you?"

"Yeah," said Cloud. He smiled. Sometimes Riku could be so adorable.

Riku was quiet on the other end. The sound of things shuffling around echoed through the phone and into Cloud's ear.

"I like that," said Riku. "I've missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"I'm leaving now."

"Okay. Talk to you when I see you."

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you, too, babe."

Cloud ended the phone call and dropped the phone on the table beside his chair. He peered out of the window, and prepared to land the ship. It was night now, the stars bright in the sky, and Cloud smiled.

Ever since Riku had voiced his (admittedly sappy) sentiment about sharing the same sky, Cloud liked to stare at the stars. It was night during that last conversation, and though Cloud rarely connected the daytime to Riku, when night fell and the stars came out, Cloud's mind always went to Riku. The darkness of night was much like darkness itself—cold and lonely. A night under the same sky as Riku, no matter how far apart they were, was more comfortable. The stars were, in a way, like Riku these days—the little bit of light that never goes out, and can only be seen in its true, simplistic beauty when all other light fails.

For someone like Sora or even Leon, whose light was strong and blinding, the beauty of Riku's light couldn't be seen—all that remained was darkness. For Cloud, that light was a guide—a reminder that nothing was as cold and lonely as it really seemed.

It felt appropriate, stepping out of the Gummi ship under the night sky to meet Riku. He landed in the same spot outside of town as always, stepped out of the Gummi, and smiled upon the sight of Riku walking toward the ship. The gap closed.

Cloud had almost forgotten how breathtaking those eyes were.

Sweaty palms and doubts aside, Cloud snaked his arms around Riku's waist, pulled him close, and covered his lips with his own. Riku smiled into the kiss and laced his fingers into Cloud's hair, twisting the strands around his knuckles.

How did Cloud ever survive the last two months without this body in his arms?

Cloud wasn't the type to throw caution to the wind. He overanalyzed situations until they were dead, sometimes to the point where anything that could have been good was destroyed. Cloud wasn't the type to live in the moment. He regretted the past and worried about the future, sometimes to the point where he forgot to actually live. Cloud wasn't the type to focus on romantic context instead of duty. He spent many years alone in the search for Sephiroth, and not for a lack of options.

The problem (or blessing) with Riku was that Cloud could overanalyze, worry, and spend two months away from Riku at a time, but the second he heard his voice, touched his skin, or felt Riku's breath against his lips, it was all lost. Cloud forgot his doubts, lived in the moment, and all that existed was Riku and the stars.

Sephiroth, Cloud supposed, could wait. He followed Riku onto the Gummi ship, set it on autopilot, and they took off in the direction of Olympus Coliseum.

All nervousness gone, Cloud smiled as Riku dropped into his lap, wrapped his hands around his neck, and pressed his lips to Cloud's. There wasn't a need for words right now; there had been enough over the last two months. Right now, all that was needed was a certain sense of abandonment, and Riku—his hands, lips, skin.

For a solitary person like Cloud, it was a foreign emotion—a need for companionship—but this time, Cloud wasn't complaining.

* * *

**_So, um, I don't know what to write here._**

**_Merry Christmas and thank you to my one reviewer. It makes me sad the lack of reviews is almost scaring people off reading my story. But I'm glad you read it anyway. That made my Christmas. I love getting reviews._**

**_Thanks to all the readers who don't review. At least this isn't being written for only me._**


	15. Nicotine Handicap

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 015. Sexuality

**Rating**: M

**Word Count**: 5,995

**Summary**: Sex was nothing like what Riku had been told. He could really use a cigarette right about now.

**Disclaimer**: I have no affiliation with Kingdom Hearts whatsoever. I only borrow these characters, and I will return them in like-new condition (or as like-new as screwed up people like Cloud and Riku get).

**Warning**: There is smutty, boy on boy nastiness in this chapter. Riku is underage. ADULT CONTENT. ADULT CONTENT. ADULT CONTENT. Riku is a fifteen-year-old minor! Is that enough of a warning for you that they're gonna hump?

**Author's Note**: I wrote a very long Author's Note to this prompt before I wrote it, but . . . all I have to say now is I'm so happy with how this came out. I was so stressed over writing a sex chapter as I haven't written one in ages (as in, two and a half years), but I am so happy with this it's ridiculous. This prompt took me longer than any of the others to write. I also think it's longer than any of the other segments. So there you go. I am so happy with this. Yeah.

* * *

**_Step Fifteen: Nicotine Handicap_**

Riku had a lot on his mind lately. He varied his attention between Kairi, Sora, that Keyblade sitting on his desk, and the impending meeting with Cloud, who was supposed to arrive today. It seemed that whenever he got a grasp on everything going on around him, another curveball insisted on throwing itself into the mix. That's what the Keyblade was these days—just another curveball set in motion to throw Riku off-balance.

What the hell was he supposed to make of taking the Keyblade from Sora, anyway? What if, in fact, the Keyblade actually chose him over Sora? What if it chose Sora and left Riku looking like a fool?

If what Cloud said (and Maleficent and Ansem at that) was true, though, it meant there was a real possibility of it choosing Riku. That left a nasty predicament.

Riku longed for Cloud's call, announcing his arrival in Hollow Bastion. This trip to Olympus Coliseum couldn't have come at a better time. He longed for Cloud's presence now more than ever—someone to talk to, kiss, hold. Someone who put no pressure on him, and didn't analyze every little thing he did or said. Things got crazier and more unbelievable every day. Having Cloud around would be comforting—someone who would just love him. Maleficent and Ansem, he knew, looked at him as a tool at best. There was no warmth in his heart these days unless he was on the phone with Cloud.

Because of all this, when Riku hung up the cell phone, he hurried to the outskirts of the Hollow Bastion ruins. The misery, anger, and stress melted away the second he saw Cloud's face, and was all but gone when Cloud's arms wrapped around his waist and their lips met after so long.

Truth be told, Riku had feared the spark wouldn't be there anymore after all this time. He worried that maybe all their phone conversations and Riku's behavior toward Sora might have withered the flame Cloud had once held for him. Most of that was gone when Cloud kissed him, and it was annihilated when Cloud pulled back to give him that same adoring smile that he'd seen so many times during their month on the Gummi. It felt nice to be adored.

Riku wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve Cloud—after all, he'd lost Sora, Kairi, and his entire family in the process. He knew he was doing and saying all the wrong things, allowing darkness to cover his heart, but he didn't know how to stop it. Cloud was the light in the darkness—everything he'd ever hoped for in a boyfriend. Whatever he was doing, though, to receive those little looks of adoration Cloud like to send in his direction, he hoped he continued doing it.

----------0----------

The trip to Olympus Coliseum went faster than Riku had expected. Then again, he'd been more occupied on this trip than that month they'd spent on the Gummi. Last time, they kissed a little, talked a lot, slept, and spent a lot of time in silence. This time, Riku smoked a lot, they talked a lot, slept, and Riku spent a lot of time straddling Cloud's lap.

In all honesty, he was surprised they hadn't gone at it right then and there on the Gummi ship. Cloud—Riku was pleased to discover—hadn't been kidding when he said he wanted to de-virgin-ize Riku. When they weren't talking or sleeping, Riku and Cloud had their hands and lips all over each other.

The past two months had been far too long.

While Riku had fantasized about what it would be like to finally have sex with Cloud, he was glad it wasn't on the Gummi ship. He still had the bit of romantic in him that didn't want to lose his virginity on a Gummi. Not that Riku really made a big deal out of the "first time" or anything—he'd have lost it sooner if the opportunity had presented itself—and he was desperate to finally get laid. However, the Gummi ship wasn't his ideal place for someone like Cloud who was important. While a random bed in a random hotel room wasn't exactly romantic, at least it was a bed.

It was also, still, a bit of a shock that sometime while they were in Olympus Coliseum, he was going to have _sex_. He was nervous, of course, in that way where he knew Cloud was experienced and he had . . . well, Cloud was the first guy he'd _kissed_. It was an even bigger shock that someone like Cloud—older, wiser, beautiful, more together than Riku—would actually want someone as fucked up as he was. The scenario where they tried to have sex, Riku sucked, it all went horribly wrong, and ended with Cloud laughing in his face played over in Riku's head more times than he could count.

It could be so good, too, or at least Riku imagined, because kissing Cloud was so much better than Riku had imagined in his fantasies, and that little nibbling thing Cloud did to his neck was so much better than Riku could imagine on his own. Having sex with Cloud, Riku figured, must be better than he imagined, too. If he didn't screw it up, that was.

It was with these thoughts in mind that Cloud landed the Gummi behind the arena in Olympus Coliseum. Riku drew a long drag on his cigarette, held it in his lungs until he felt the need to cough, and exhaled. He took another puff. The nicotine did little to calm his nerves. He tried a third time.

"Sora shouldn't be here, yet," said Cloud. "He usually only arrives the day of the games and leaves the same night. It should be pretty easy to avoid him."

Riku nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak.

"You only brought one bag, right?"

Riku nodded again and took another drag.

"Is something wrong?"

Riku shook his head.

"I promise you nothing is going to go wrong with this. You won't see Sora at all. I don't want you to worry about that while you're here, okay? We're going to spend time together."

"I know," said Riku. He extinguished his cigarette and lit another.

"Chain smoker, much?"

"You say that like you didn't know."

"You know, I didn't think I would, but I kind of like the smell of tobacco on you. Leon smokes, you know? It's kind of a nice, familiar smell."

Riku laughed.

"Off-topic."

"Not really. We were talking about how you're a chimney."

"Okay, true."

"Taste doesn't bother me, either. I've come to associate it with you. It's funny. Leon lights up and I think of you."

"That's because I'm a chimney."

"Yeah," said Cloud, laughing. "You okay, now? Ready to head to the hotel?"

Riku sighed.

"Yeah. I'm just . . . nervous."

"I told you. I promise you won't see Sora."

"Er—it's not really Sora I'm worried about."

"No?"

"No."

"What are you worried about then?"

"Sex." Cloud burst out laughing. Riku frowned. "Don't laugh at me."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you aren't."

"I know. Look, it's okay if you're not ready."

"I'm ready!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"I'm a virgin."

"So?"

"You aren't."

Cloud collected his composure long enough to roll his eyes at Riku.

"I'll go easy on you, okay, kid?"

"I'm not a kid."

"Fine. I'll go easy on you, okay, virgin?"

"Fuck you, Cloud. Fuck you."

"Actually, I thought it was going to be the other way around, but if you insist . . ."

"I hate you."

"Riku, relax. Don't be nervous. I'll go easy on you."

"I don't _want_ you to go easy on me!"

Cloud arched an eyebrow. Riku covered his face with his hands, extinguished his cigarette, and lit up a third.

"Really?"

"I'm just nervous!"

"That you'll suck."

"Yes! It's not like I know what I'm doing!"

"Listen, Riku, there's only one thing you need to know about sex."

"What's that?"

"No one knows what they're doing."

"I doubt that."

"I'm serious. It's nothing like you think. It's messy and awkward and everyone looks and sounds stupid. There is no such thing as grace when it comes to sex. Your hair is going to get fucked up. It'll probably be in both our mouths at one point or another. There is nothing hot about the way people moan or grunt or anything. Anything you say that you think sounds sexy really isn't. When it comes time to get undressed, clothing isn't going to come off in 'one fluid motion.' It's going to get stuck somewhere, whether it be your arms, head, ankles, wherever."

"Why is this supposed to be good?"

"Because when you like someone enough, and it feels good enough, none of that matters. You get the hair out of your face and move on. I'm going to think the way you sound is hot. And when your shirt gets stuck on your damn head, you just yank it off, toss it somewhere, and forget about it, because now you're naked, and that's the important part."

"I suppose this means the undressing each other thing isn't as good as it sounds, either?"

"Riku, if you can even figure out how to undress someone else when you're that horny in the dark without their help, it will not go as well as it should."

"Because it'll get stuck somewhere."

"Exactly."

"I have no more arguments."

"That's why you shouldn't be so worried. Like I said, sex is messy and awkward."

"But that doesn't matter in the moment."

"Exactly. And now you know all that you need to know."

"I feel enlightened."

"You should."

"What if I can't suck cock?"

"Riku, there is no such thing as a person who can't suck cock."

"I doubt that."

"Okay, then let me explain to you the only things you need to know."

"Give it to me."

"Keep you teeth covered with your lips. If you can't control your gag reflex, don't try. It takes a lot of practice. There are few people in the worlds that can deep throat without practice. A mouth feels good no matter what it's doing so long as you aren't biting. Cause that hurts like a bitch."

"Don't bite. Got it. Common sense, but got it."

"And Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"A tip."

"Okay?"

"If you think _you'd_ like it, there's a good chance _I'll_ like it, too."

"Are you going to fuck me?"

"Only if you want me to."

"Okay."

"Is that a yes?"

Riku nodded and lit his fourth cigarette.

----------0----------

"So this is where you kept calling me from?" said Riku, sitting on the balcony, opening his second cigarette pack of the day.

"Yep. I haven't really left Olympus Coliseum since I got here before the Pegasus Cup."

"What about Sephiroth?"

"I'm taking a hiatus. After all, they say when you get separated from someone, you should stay in one place and they'll find you faster."

"You think he's looking for you?"

"I have no doubts that he's looking for me. He loves to taunt me."

"The sky's pretty from here."

"Yep. That's our sky, babe."

Riku smiled and set the cigarette pack aside.

"This where you were when I fed you that load of cheesy crap?"

"Yep."

Riku felt the heat seep into his cheeks and thanked the dark for hiding it.

"I associate the night sky with you now, you know that? Every time it gets dark . . . it's nice to be here with you, though, and not just on the phone."

Cloud turned his head to Riku and extended his arm, grazing the back of his fingers across Riku's cheek. Riku leaned into the touch.

"Yeah. I'm thankful for those phones, though. I'd have gone crazy without you to talk to through this whole mess."

"I'm proud of you. For keeping your chin up through it all. I don't know if I could do it. I'd probably withdraw from everything and everyone. Drown in my own misery."

"You're overdramatic like that."

"I don't know. I just . . . before I got lost in darkness, I was happy. Carefree. Then the Heartless came, and . . ."

"It seemed glamorous, right?"

"Right."

Cloud dropped his hand from Riku's cheek and brushed his fingertips across Riku's neck. Riku covered Cloud's hand with his own.

"I just . . . everyone expects so much out of me, and I hate to let them down," said Cloud. "I should be strong, you know? It shouldn't be so hard to find my light. But Sephiroth keeps coming back and I keep giving in to the darkness. I shouldn't be so . . . emotional. I shouldn't be so weak."

"You aren't weak. If you were, you wouldn't be here right now."

"I'm just not the man I thought I'd be. I thought I'd be . . ."

Riku laughed and turned his head into Cloud's hand, allowing it to cup his cheek.

"You thought you'd be a good man. The kind of guy that protects his friends, fights for a cause, doesn't let his emotions get in the way, and never cries. That kind of man. Whatever a good man is supposed to be."

"Yeah."

"Cloud, I like you for you, not whoever you think you should be. A real man can admit his mistakes and isn't afraid to cry. So you screwed up and you couldn't always pull through when it was needed. It doesn't make you less of a man; it makes you human."

"Sometimes I think you've got it more together than I do."

"No. I just screw up a lot. I beat myself up for it, too, but not because I think it makes me less of a man. I do it because I let everyone down. I don't like letting people down, either."

"I love how you just understand everything I'm feeling."

"I'm there, too."

"I know. It's just nice."

"I don't want to let you down, either."

"I love you, Riku. Unconditionally. Isn't going to happen."

"You can love someone and still be disappointed in them. I know you don't like how I'm handling the Sora situation."

"I understand how you're handling it, though. Yes, I think there's a better way to do it, but I understand you're hurt."

"I just hate the way he makes me feel. It's like . . . he thinks he's better than me, now. He used to look up to me, and now I've let him down, and he's the hero. I'd be happy for him, except . . ."

"He makes you feel like shit for it."

"Right. Cause he brandishes the Keyblade, and . . . okay, maybe I exaggerated how he was in Traverse Town. But I didn't say anything to him like I said to you. I let my feelings get the best of me. And, yeah, he _was_ probably just excited to tell me everything, and really happy to see me, and just wanted to fill me in on everything, but what hurt the most was that when I took off—which I only did because it was obvious that Donald didn't want me there—he just shrugged it off. I know he's got more important things on his hands right now than me—like, the fate of the worlds—but it stung."

"And you flew off the handle."

"I got defensive. And maybe it could have been okay, you know? But I got so defensive when I saw him again in Monstro, and I was just _teasing_, but it was kind of nasty of me. I just . . . didn't want to get hurt again. But then he threw that conscience line at me, and that hurt so bad that . . . I don't know. I still haven't gotten over it."

Cloud moved his chair next to Riku's, put an arm around him, and Riku's head dropped to Cloud's shoulder. Cloud twisted in his chair, and with his other hand smoothed Riku's hair.

"It was a nasty line."

"It's true, though. I was so wrapped up in my own hurt that I didn't even bother to think about how he was feeling. And now I've screwed it up so badly. I don't know what I'm going to do about this Keyblade master thing, either."

"I thought you were letting the Keyblade choose?"

"I am. But what if it chooses me?"

"Then you're going to use it to get Kairi's heart back. Fuck Maleficent and whatever she's trying."

"What if it chooses him?"

"Then you know that you aren't supposed to have it anymore."

"What if he pisses me off?"

"I can't help you there."

"I'm going to screw this up, I just know it."

"Whatever happens, you can always call me to tell me about it, okay? And I'll listen. No judgment."

"Yeah. I'm so happy to be here with you right now. I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too."

----------0----------

Cloud was hot. Not that Riku didn't already know this, but watching Cloud fight . . . Cloud was hot. And sexy. And had amazing arms. And a great ass. And was tall, and muscular, and hot.

They arrived at the arena early, and Riku snuck in through the back to find a seat. He didn't see Sora at all for which he was thankful, and found a seat close enough to see, but not too close that Sora might spot him. Cloud had laughed at him this morning when leaving the hotel as Riku had taken one of Cloud's crimson capes and constructed it into a hood to hide his face. Riku didn't see what was so funny about it. If Sora saw him, it would lead to many questions that Riku didn't want to answer, and probably another nasty scene that Riku didn't want to deal with right now.

It was odd, at first, watching Sora fight in the tournament. His fighting had improved a lot since Destiny Islands, and quite a bit since Monstro. Riku figured it had something to do with that being all Sora did these days. Still, it made him uneasy watching Sora fight alongside Donald and Goofy. The way they fought together was so synchronized, so natural, and it was then that Riku realized just how close Sora had become to these new companions. He had expected to feel hurt and lonely seeing Sora again, but he hadn't expected Sora's new companions to come into the equation. In a way, though, Riku also felt proud, watching Sora advance to the next round over and over again. Sora had come a long way. If they were to fight again, it would actually be a challenge.

Watching Cloud, on the same tangent, was odd. Riku knew Cloud fought the Heartless, and knew Cloud was good at what he did, but he hadn't expected Cloud to look so _good_ doing it, or the same sense of pride watching him advance through the rounds. He almost laughed when Cloud first stepped out on the battlefield. Though he'd seen Cloud's buster sword before, it didn't occur to him until just then how very large it was. Riku hoped Cloud wasn't overcompensating for something else, and he wondered how it was that Cloud managed to handle such a large weapon.

Then Cloud started fighting, and Riku came to the realization that his boyfriend was extremely hot. He was an amazing fighter, graceful, and sexy. Riku found himself cheering along with the crowd every time Cloud performed an impressive move and booing every time Cloud received a blow.

He also hadn't expected to be worried every time someone wailed on him. By the time this was over, Cloud was going to be pretty banged up.

Then Sora walked onto the battlefield from the left and Cloud from the right, and Riku froze.

He had known they'd be fighting each other, but he hadn't _known_. Even more so shocking, Riku wasn't sure who he wanted to win.

How does one choose between their boyfriend and the boy he wished was still his best friend?

He'd known Sora his entire life, but he was in love with Cloud. To be honest, he didn't care to see either one wailing on the other.

Then the battle started. Sora unleashed attack after attack on Cloud, and Cloud repaid the favor with an attack of his own. They swung, parried, and circled each other until Riku moved to the edge of his seat and leaned between the people sitting in front of him. He never noticed their glares.

Just as sudden as the battle began, Cloud fell, kneeling, his forehead against his knee, and Sora was declared the winner.

Riku's stomach flipped as Cloud limped off the battlefield.

He wasn't worried about Sora seeing him as he jumped from his seat and rushed to the back of the Coliseum, pushing past the people sitting in the crowds.

"Watch where you're going," someone yelled after him. Riku ignored it.

The sound of Sora's victorious cheers reached his ear as he moved to the darkened space at the back of the Coliseum. Cloud poured a potion down his throat and began dressing his wounds.

"You okay?"

Cloud looked up and burst into laughter.

"Take that stupid thing off."

Riku pulled off the cape, dropped it to the side, and kneeled in front of Cloud.

"He beat the crap out of you."

"It's not that bad."

"You weren't even walking right."

"Guess I lost, huh? I never even got to take on Hercules. Leon and Yuffie made it to the end, you know? Should've known. Sora beat them, too."

"Who cares about that? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. You should head back to the hotel, though. Tournament'll be over soon, and I'm gonna have to talk to Sora or it'll look suspicious. You don't want him to see you here."

Riku glanced through the open doorway at the path leading back into Thebes and the hotel.

"Not yet. I want to make sure you're okay."

"What if Sora sees you?"

"Who cares?"

Cloud looked up at Riku and smiled. It felt as if Riku's heart had jumped to his throat.

"I'm going to be okay. The potion will take care of the bad wounds. I'll be fine in a half hour, limp gone and everything. Don't worry. I'll be well enough to not go easy on you tonight."

Riku twisted his lips into a half-smile, his eyes narrowed, and he tapped Cloud's arm with his fist.

"Ouch," said Cloud.

"Sorry," said Riku, laughing.

"Bastard. You're worried about me being okay and then you hit me?"

"I was playing."

"You play mean. Way to kick a guy when he's down. Literally."

"I didn't kick you, you melodramatic crybaby."

"Fuck off. I am not a crybaby."

"You looked hot out there."

"Nah. Pretty comfortable, actually. I mean, I worked up a bit of a sweat fighting, but you know how it goes . . ."

"Not like that, you jackass. You looked sexy."

"I knew what you meant. I just wanted you to say it again."

"Fucker."

"You really thought I looked hot?"

"Yeah."

"Glad you thought so. Now go back to the hotel like a good boy before Sora sees you and all hell breaks loose."

"Okay."

Cloud leaned forward and pressed his lips to Riku's. Riku didn't know if it was normal or not, but he never thought Cloud's kisses would stop making his heart pull tight. Cloud brushed his fingertips behind Riku's ear and trailed them down along his neck.

"Was that my preview for tonight?"

"No. That was just because I love you." Cloud dropped his hand, curled his fingers around the hem of Riku's top, and brushed his thumb under the waistband of Riku's pants. Riku closed his eyes, and his breath quickened. Cloud leaned forward and pressed his lips next to Riku's ear. "That's your preview."

Riku nodded.

"Oh."

"Go back," said Cloud. He laughed as Riku swallowed.

"Okay. I'll be waiting for you."

"Good."

Riku got to his feet, took one last look at Cloud, and walked out the back of the arena. He walked in the direction of the hotel, pulled his cigarette pack out of his pocket, and lit up. His thoughts remained with Cloud.

----------0----------

Riku thought it would be awkward, the intended sex being planned and all. He thought Cloud would come back from the arena and they'd just start right at it. Instead, Cloud walked into the hotel room a little over an hour later and met Riku on the balcony.

He said little on his encounter with Sora, and for a long while, they sat on the balcony, Riku smoking cigarette after cigarette. When night fell, they made their way inside the room. Still, nothing happened, and Riku wondered if they were going to _do it_ at all. He continued to chain smoke, and drank one water bottle after another to keep his throat wet. All the smoke was starting to irritate it.

They talked about the day's events, the Heartless, nothing out of the ordinary, and Riku found himself situated under Cloud's arm again, head on his chest. He stopped smoking; it was rude to let your smoke drift in someone's face, smoker or not.

Like usual, Cloud tilted Riku's face up to claim his lips. There was nothing usual after that.

Riku's breath became labored, heavy, as Cloud trailed little nibbles down his neck. He was disappointed he hadn't thought that he might feel nervous when he lost his top, because the second it was gone, Riku was suddenly very aware of his body. Sure, he was tanned from living on an island, and toned from being so active his entire life, but he felt so small next to Cloud. The thought drifted out of his head the moment Cloud lost his top, too, because Cloud was gorgeous, and Riku just couldn't think about his own body when someone so ridiculously sexy was trailing his tongue down his stomach, and oh dear god, _what_ was Cloud doing to him?

"Should I turn out the light?" Cloud said against Riku's stomach.

All Riku could do was nod.

He could've really used a cigarette right about then, but this wasn't the time for a nicotine handicap.

Then the room was bathed in only the moonlight.

Cloud's hands trailed across his hips, and Riku was only aware of losing his pants because of the sudden loss of heat. Of course, it was also about that time that Riku realized Cloud wasn't wearing any, either, and when the hell had _that_ happened, and why hadn't Riku noticed?

One scene, one feeling, kept flashing to the next. They were both naked. Cloud's hand was on his cock, it was nothing like having his own hand there, and Riku felt like his brain was going to explode. He couldn't stop the moans—and he had tried. His thoughts drifted to Cloud's speech about how no one sounded hot during sex, but Cloud would think he sounded hot anyway, and Riku prayed he didn't sound like a complete moron.

This was about the time Riku wondered when he'd decided to take Cloud's cock into his own hands, because he didn't remember doing it, not that it mattered, because Cloud was moaning, too, and Cloud didn't know what he was talking about, because Cloud sure as hell sounded sexy.

Those moans would be imprinted in his mind until the day he died.

Riku was thankful he had plenty of practice in handling his own cock, because as different as Cloud's felt in his hand, he knew what he liked, and didn't hesitate to use his limited knowledge on Cloud. This was _nothing_ like masturbating, Riku thought, and half of the moans emitting from his mouth on their own accord were caused by the feeling of Cloud thrusting against his hand.

Oh dear god, was it always like this?

Riku whined when Cloud pried his fingers away from his cock (when did Riku _whine_?). Cloud leaned over his body to press his lips against Riku's, then dropped his head to Riku's chest, leaving a trail of small bites and kisses down his stomach until . . .

Cloud knew what he was talking about when he said anything a mouth did on a cock felt good.

Riku tried to thrust up, but Cloud's fingers dug into his hips and pressed him against the bed.

"You stay where you are," said Cloud. He had the nerve to chuckle.

"I don't want to. Cloud . . ."

"Stay where you are."

Riku groaned, whined, and clenched his jaw.

"Good boy."

When was Cloud such a damn tease?

Cloud dipped his head down again, kissed the base of Riku's cock, trailed his tongue to the tip, and nuzzled his nose there. He flicked his tongue over the tip of Riku's cock, and Riku reached down, fisted his fingers in Cloud's hair, and groaned.

"Cloud, if you don't do something soon, I think I'm going to die."

"That good, huh?"

The warm breath of Cloud's words against his cock was a little too much to bear, and Riku squirmed, pushing his hips down into the mattress.

"Riku, if I suck your cock, you're going to cum."

"What's your point?"

"If you cum, it's not going to feel nearly as good when I fuck you. It's going to hurt."

"It's going to hurt, anyway. You're going to shove that monster of yours in my ass!"

Cloud laughed.

"Yeah, but the pain'll pass."

Riku whined again, blinked several times, and pounded his head against the pillow.

"Not this time," said Cloud, kissing the tip again, and leaning over him to press his lips against Riku's, which was about the same time Riku realized his precum was on Cloud's lips.

Truth be told, it kind of freaked him out.

Riku had thought his face couldn't get any hotter, but heat seeped into his cheeks again, and his goddamn face was on _fire_.

He hadn't really thought about that. Well, that was kind of embarrassing.

"Sorry," said Riku.

"For what?"

"Um . . ." Riku pressed his fingers to Cloud's lips and wiped a little of the precum from just above his lip. "That."

Cloud laughed, pressed his lips to Riku's again, touched his tongue against Riku's top lip, and Riku parted his lips. He swore Cloud's tongue brushing over his own shot straight to his cock, making it—if it was at all possible—harder. Riku was sure that, by this point, one good blow down there and the damn thing would just break off.

"Don't worry about," said Cloud. "Would it bother you if it was me on your lips?"

"No. It'd be kind of hot."

"So you shouldn't feel bad about it being the other way around."

This all made logical sense, Riku knew, but it didn't make the color drain from his face.

"Can I touch you again?"

"You can do whatever you want," said Cloud, his lips against Riku's.

"Can I . . . um . . . do what you just did to me?"

"Tease my cock with your mouth?"

Apparently, Riku's face _could_ get redder.

"Yeah."

"Not if you can't say it."

"Don't actions speak louder than words?"

"Words are actions, my dear."

Riku huffed, but then Cloud lowered his body, and a moan he hadn't expected escaped from somewhere he couldn't identify when Cloud's dick rubbed again his own.

Oh dear god, he needed Cloud right fucking _now_.

"Can I tease your cock with my mouth?"

Cloud laughed. Again. Riku was starting to feel really stupid.

"I didn't think you'd actually say it. I told you that you can do whatever you want."

That was how Cloud ended up on his back and Riku was face to . . . well . . . cock. Cloud's cock to be more specific. He wasn't sure how this was supposed to go, but Cloud hadn't actually hadn't sucked on his, so he figured he probably shouldn't, either.

It also appeared that Riku's cock could get harder, because that unearthly growl Cloud released when Riku brushed his tongue along Cloud's cock was amazing. Riku didn't know Cloud could _sound_ like that, and oh dear god, he was leaking, too. And Riku was doing it to him. This all meant that Cloud was enjoying this far more than his occasional chuckle suggested, and a sense of bravery Riku didn't know he possessed up until that point took over.

He was sure not to bite as he littered kisses over Cloud's cock, dragging his lips and tongue across the flesh, and Cloud bucked his hips.

"Hey, if I couldn't move, you can't, either."

Cloud didn't respond, but Riku got the nasty suspicion Cloud was smiling.

Then their positions were reversed, and Cloud was above Riku again before Riku was aware of what was going on. Cloud moved fast. He was gone for a second, and then he was back, and Riku was aware that something very wet and slick had just slid into his ass. He moaned as Cloud hit _that_ spot and he arched into the touch. Cloud, the bastard, had the nerve to laugh again.

"Someone plays with their ass when they masturbate."

"Huh?"

"You're way too loose for nothing to have ever gone up there."

Riku scowled.

"So what if I do?"

"Nothing. I just wasn't expecting it."

A second finger entered and their conversation was forgotten as Riku arched up into it. Cloud arched an eyebrow.

"How many fingers do you _use_ when you masturbate?"

"Screw you. Would you just fuck me already?"

"How do want it? On your stomach? Back?"

"Back."

"You sure?"

"Yes, okay? Just throw my damn ankles over your shoulders and fuck me already."

Riku hissed and gritted his teeth when Cloud obliged. It stung a little, but then Cloud thrust again, and Riku arched into him, and . . .

Holy hell, this was fucking amazing.

Riku fell into a hazy place—there was nothing else in the world right now other than Cloud, Cloud's cock, and _that_ spot that momentarily did this thing that made his own cock twitch. His release came faster than he'd hoped, but it didn't deter Cloud. A guttural moan issued from his mouth as Riku came, and it wasn't long after that Cloud came himself.

It was at that point that Riku realized everything he'd ever learned about safe sex had gone to waste. At least he couldn't get pregnant.

Cloud collapsed next to him, and Riku rolled into him, laying his sweaty face against Cloud's chest.

"Go ahead. Have your cigarette."

Riku smiled, rolled back over, and lit up.

Everything he'd ever heard about sex was nothing like it had been, but that post-coital cigarette was exactly what it was made out to be.

"I love you," said Riku.

"Love you, too."

"Are you falling asleep?"

"Sex makes me tired. I have to piss."

"Go piss."

Cloud pulled himself out of bed and padded to the bathroom, still stark naked. Riku supposed that was okay. Cloud looked good naked.

When Cloud returned from the bathroom, Riku and his second post-sex cigarette made a trip to the bathroom, where Riku cleaned up. Once he didn't have lubrication and cum all over his ass and legs, Riku walked back into the bedroom and lit the third cigarette.

"Man, this room reeks of sex," said Riku. Cloud didn't answer. "Cloud?"

Cloud snored in reply. Riku smiled. He didn't blame him. Riku finished his cigarette, extinguished it in the ashtray, and lay next to him. Cloud mumbled something, stretched his arm out, and pulled Riku into him. Riku rested his head against Cloud's chest, yawned, and draped his arm across Cloud's stomach. He fell asleep within seconds.

* * *

**_Okay. I admit it. I giggled at Riku through this entire thing._**

**_I encourage feedback._**

**_Only one more prompt and then Hollow Bastion._**


	16. The Calm Before The Storm

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 016. Time

**Word Count**: 2,092

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku wished he didn't have to go, and Cloud didn't know how much they were racing the clock, but he hoped they were winning.

**Disclaimer**: So not only do I not own any of this KH stuff (as I've said so many times before), but I don't know anyone who is affiliated with Square Enix or Disney in any way, either. Not even, like, the guy who cleans the toilets at Universal Studios, or anything. I'm just playing with the boys.

**Author's Note**: Ever since I discovered what an FST is, I've been thinking about making one for this story. You know, some time in the future, using all the stuff I listen to religiously while writing this. Dunno yet. Thoughts?

* * *

**_Step Sixteen: The Calm Before The Storm_**

Just as soon as they'd landed in Olympus Coliseum, Cloud and Riku got back on the Gummi ship, headed in the direction of Hollow Bastion. They'd spent three days together, but they were gone now, and it was time for Riku to return.

"It feels like I just got here," said Riku. He hugged his arms around his body and looked out the window. The Gummi lifted and Cloud switched the controls to warp speed.

"I know."

Cloud looked over to Riku and frowned. There were deep lines in his forehead, his eyebrows furrowed. His heart sank.

"I wish I didn't have to go back. I like being here with you."

"I wish you didn't, either."

"But Maleficent . . ."

"Yeah. Before she realizes where you went or who you went with."

"And you said about Sora . . ."

"Yeah. He said he had to stop back in Traverse Town to see about something first. Then he's headed to a new world, and I don't know for sure, but from the coordinates . . ."

"Hollow Bastion."

"Sounds like it."

"Maleficent and Ansem would have me killed if he showed up back there before I did."

"So we've got to get you back."

"I know. I just . . . wish we'd had more time."

Cloud laughed.

"If we'd taken less, we wouldn't be rushing you back to Hollow Bastion as fast as possible. I saw Sora's Gummi take off this morning, which means he ought to get back to Traverse Town sometime this evening, and then into Hollow Bastion tomorrow night, or the day after. Depends if he decides to sleep in Traverse Town."

"I thought he usually leaves the day of the match."

"Guess he slept on the Gummi. He's probably really run down. He looked tired when I talked to him."

Riku nodded and lit up a cigarette. He looked at it for a moment, expression blank, and then took a drag.

"Will you miss me?"

Cloud smiled.

"Of course. I love you."

"I'm going to miss you, too. What are you going to do while I'm gone?"

"I thought I'd head back to Traverse Town. See Leon and the gang. I told you about the Hades Cup, right?"

"Yeah. Fifty seeds, right? Sounds intense."

"Well, it's a challenge that Hades is issuing, and I'm not going to step down from that, you know? Thought I'd see if Leon and Yuffie wanted to fight in it. Then I guess it's back to the Coliseum. What do you think?"

"Sounds like fun. Wish I could be there."

"You'll be facing off with Sora again."

"It seems so. Me, Sora, and the Keyblade. Sounds fun, too, doesn't it?"

Riku rolled his eyes and Cloud extended his hand across their seats to take Riku's free hand in his own.

"You'll be great."

Riku smiled at their hands and glanced over to Cloud. Tight, restricting pain pulled across Cloud's heart as he met Riku's eyes. They weren't as bright as they once were; the color had dulled. His smile failed to extend the full breadth of his lips. Cloud squeezed Riku's hand. Riku looked away.

"I want to stay here with you."

"I want this to all be over."

Riku nodded, closed his eyes, and dropped his head. Cloud watched as Riku's face went from slack and emotionless to twisted and pained. Riku made a choking sound, his chest heaved, and the tears finally came.

Cloud wondered how long he would hold up, but it seemed that time caught up with him.

Fingers still twisted around Riku's, Cloud stood from his seat. He pried his hand away from Riku's for a moment to move it into a more comfortable position, and he kneeled before Riku.

"I don't cry much," said Riku, his voice strained, shoulders shaking. "I promise."

"I know," said Cloud. He rubbed Riku's knee. "Sometimes you just got to get out all the bad feelings, though. Wasn't it you who told me that it was okay to cry? At least you aren't past the point of tears anymore."

Riku nodded.

Cloud noticed that Riku, when it came to crying, was much like the way he was about everything else. He didn't sob or wail. There weren't even many tears rolling down his cheeks. The only evidence of actually crying was the restriction to his voice, the bloodshot eyes, the slight wetness around his eyelashes, and a small tremor to his shoulders. In a way, Cloud wished Riku would just bawl his eyes out. Riku tried too hard to stay strong, brush the hurt off, and move on. At least if Riku loosened this one restraint, he might have an easier time facing Sora again, but Riku fought the tears, too. The pain wouldn't ease as much as it should, and Riku would be left feeling more defensive than before.

Cloud had no experience in this kind of thing. Aerith was the one who handled these situations.

Riku shook his head, looked up at Cloud, and blinked a few times. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, and tried to smile. Cloud smiled back.

"Just love me right now, okay? That's all I really need, anyway."

"I always love you," said Cloud, laughing. "You said that like it would be a chore."

"You know what I mean."

Cloud squeezed in the seat beside Riku and put an arm around him. Riku shifted, sat halfway in Cloud's lap, and draped on leg across Cloud's. He dropped his head to Cloud's shoulder.

"Sorry I'm such a pain in the ass."

"You aren't a pain in the ass."

"Okay. Sorry I'm such a downer."

"Stop being sorry all the time. I know things really suck for you right now."

"I just . . . wish there was more time. Everything keeps happening so fast. I can't keep up."

"I know."

"When this is all over and we can just be together, I'll make this up to you."

"You don't have to make anything up to me."

"Yes, I do. We'll spend tons of time together and have fun without another action-packed update on the cell phone about how I'm more screwed up than the last time you talked to me."

Cloud laughed.

"I'd like to spend tons of time together and have fun."

"We can fuck again."

"I'd like that, too."

"Did I suck?"

"What?"

"I've been meaning to ask you, but I never got a chance. Did I suck?"

Cloud laughed again.

"No."

"Could you tell I was a virgin?"

"Yes."

Riku's eyes widened.

"You said I didn't suck!"

"You didn't suck. It just wasn't hard to tell you were a virgin."

"How is that different?"

"Because I liked everything you did. I liked the way you sounded. You felt amazing. You were just so nervous and tentative and obviously inexperienced. That doesn't mean it was bad."

Riku frowned.

"You could have lied to me, you know."

"I would never lie to you unless it was small and solely to spare your feelings. Or protect my own ass."

"This would have spared my feelings!"

"But it isn't small, and it shouldn't be offensive. You were great. Just nervous. Nothing wrong with that. It wasn't a turn-off."

Riku frowned.

"Would you really lie to me to protect your own ass?"

"Who wouldn't?"

"What if it was something big?"

"Like what?"

"Like . . . if you told Sora about us, or you cheated on me, or something."

"I wouldn't lie to you about that kind of stuff. Not that I would ever have to because I would never tell Sora, _or_ cheat on you. Just small stuff. Like if I broke something, I'd say it was the cat."

Riku laughed.

"Since when do we have a cat?"

"I don't know. We can get a dog instead."

"And when are we getting this dog?"

"After this is all over and we can have fun and spend tons of time together. With the dog or the cat."

"Why do we need this dog or cat, again?"

"Cause if I break something and we don't have a dog or a cat, it'd be hard to blame it on them."

"I see. I hope you know now that when you blame broken stuff on the cat, I'm not going to believe you."

"That's good, because it was really the dog. You know how he gets excited."

Riku smiled. Cloud's heart lifted; this one reached his eyes.

"You're so weird."

"Yeah, but I made you laugh."

"I know. One of the reasons why I love you."

"Because I'm funny?"

"You're not funny. You're weird. But I like that you can make me smile even when I feel my lowest."

"I'm glad I can make you smile when you feel bad. Wish I could do it for myself."

"Keep doing it for me, and when our positions are reversed, I'll do it for you."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

----------0----------

Cloud didn't how much they were actually racing the clock, but he hoped they were winning.

Sora, for all he knew, would leave Traverse Town only hours after arriving, and though they headed straight for Hollow Bastion, Sora had left Olympus Coliseum first. They could be only hours ahead of Sora, and the last thing Cloud wanted was to thrust Riku right into their confrontation. He pushed the Gummi as fast as it could go, and glanced back to Riku, who lay sleeping in his seat.

He wished he could make time stand still for only a moment—just long enough to spare Riku some peace. When he was alone in Olympus Coliseum, awaiting Riku's calls, time seemed to drag on forever. On the phone, time flew by, and they spent more time talking than Cloud realized. When they were together, though, it was if time moved as fast as the Gummi on warp speed. One second he picked Riku up in Hollow Bastion, and the next second, he was taking Riku back.

Three days had never passed so fast.

When Cloud woke that morning, he wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with Riku. He trailed his fingers across Riku's exposed back, and in the morning light, had time to examine the beauty of Riku's naked figure. He had his imperfections, of course, but Cloud even loved those. Riku had more scars than he'd imagined—there was one large scar that ran across Riku's collarbone (he'd, apparently, snapped it sometime around the age of eight). He was tanner than Cloud, which Cloud imagined was because Riku had grown up playing on islands while Cloud had grown up in dreary Hollow Bastion. Sun-kissed freckles clustered on Riku's right shoulder, and Cloud brushed his thumb across them.

Then he'd noticed Sora's Gummi take off out the balcony window, and he knew it was time to get up.

Cloud looked at the screen to his left. Hollow Bastion would soon be in sight. He reached over and gently shook Riku.

"Hey. We're almost there."

Riku gazed at him through heavy eyelids and nodded.

"Already?"

"Yeah."

Riku groaned and sat up. He lit a cigarette. Cloud laughed.

"Need that before seeing Maleficent and Ansem again?"

Riku shrugged.

"I don't exactly see Ansem. I just hear him. Thankfully he's been out of my head since they told me about the Keyblade."

Hollow Bastion came into view and Cloud maneuvered to the usual spot, landed the ship, and stood. Riku finished his cigarette and put it out. They walked off the ship together, bag slung over Riku's shoulder.

"Do we have time for a goodbye kiss?" said Riku.

Cloud nodded.

----------0----------

Cloud set the Gummi down in Traverse Town almost two days later. He hadn't heard word from Riku since dropping him off in Hollow Bastion; Cloud checked the Caller ID every five minutes.

He walked to the small house in the Third District, fingering the phone in his pocket.

Cloud opened the door to the house and stepped in. Aerith, Leon, and Yuffie were there, talking, and he smiled to them as he walked in.

"Cloud, are you okay?" said Aerith. Cloud nodded. Leave it to Aerith to notice already. Leon frowned.

"Hey, everyone."

Cloud set his bag on the floor, draped his cape over it, and then his phone rang. He looked at Leon for a second before pulling the phone from his pocket. Riku's name was displayed on the screen.

He didn't bother to say anything as he stepped back of the house and answered.

* * *

**_Thanks for the holiday wishes I got from Chapter Fourteen._**

**_Obviously, Hollow Bastion is the next installment._**

**_Thanks for reading._**

**_Feedback? Yes, please. _**

**_Also, I don't know if I mentioned before, but if you are on MySpace, the url to mine is located on my Author Profile. Feel free to catch me over there._**

**_Thanks again._**

**_::December::_**


	17. Friends and Rivals

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 017. Friend

**Word Count**: 3,618

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku goes one step too far.

**Spoilers**: For KH1 Hollow Bastion. I guess. Just to be safe. But if you haven't played through the first game, I wonder why you're reading KH fanfic to begin with.

**Disclaimer**: Cloud and Riku aren't my toys. I'm just borrowing them without permission. They belong to Square Enix and Disney and other cool places that have enough money to make sweet little video games.

**Author's Note**: I sat down several times to write this. I intended it to be longer, but what I cut from this will be in prompt 19. That at least gives me two extra prompts to fill up 100, right? Anyway, this was hard to write. The emotions were crazy, all over the place, and I ended up erasing everything I had on the first attempt. The second attempt left me as co-author to my best friend's amazing novel idea. The third attempt ended up with me taking a nap. This is the fourth and final attempt. It became easier after I watched my sister play Hollow Bastion.

* * *

**_Step Seventeen: Friends and Rivals_**

Maleficent and Ansem said nothing upon Riku's return. She didn't raise an eyebrow; he didn't bother to voice the obvious assumption on whom Riku had gone with. He walked to his room without interruption or interrogation and closed the door.

Sitting on his desk next to the first Keyblade Maleficent and Ansem gave him was another one. Another Keyblade. The only sign that he'd ever been gone in the first place. Next to it was a note telling Riku that the new Keyblade was to be his new weapon, to dispose of the toy sword, and that it was called a Soul Eater.

A Keyblade to unlock hearts and a Soul Eater. Fantastic.

He sat in the chair before his desk, tapped his fingers on the top, and stared. Riku pulled the phone from his pocket, found Cloud's number in the menu, and was about to press send when he shook his head. Cloud couldn't help him with this; Riku had burdened him enough. Compared to everything that had already happened this new Keyblade was inconsequential—just another black mark on his heart.

Riku opened the bottom drawer and dropped the phone inside. He'd call Cloud again once everything with Sora was settled.

Riku propped his chin on the heel of his hand and stared toward the window.

----------0----------

Sora didn't arrive the following day. Riku filled his hours handling the Soul Eater, practicing his fighting, and getting used to holding it in his hands. He preferred it to the previous Keyblade; it held less of a dark aura. The old Keyblade reeked of the darkness, the smell so pungent it made his stomach turn.

Ansem appeared to him sometime in the late evening. Riku supposed he was growing stronger. Though he wasn't quite corporeal, there was a transparent figure to accompany the voice, dressed in a plain brown robe. Ansem kept his hood up. This detail set in his heart, unease growing like the blackness already there. Ansem commented on his fighting, pointed out techniques, and Riku tried to push away the familiar smell of darkness that radiated from him.

Maleficent walked into his room even later in the evening.

"Have you decided what you will do when that wretched boy arrives?"

Riku sighed. He should have known this was coming.

"I'm going to let the Keyblade choose its master. If it isn't mine anymore, I won't be able to keep it from Sora, anyway."

"The boy won't allow that. He's very foolhardy and pigheaded."

Riku snorted.

"He used to be my best friend. I know what he's like."

"He's changed. He isn't the boy you used to know."

"Maybe I'm the one that's changed."

"You are the true Keyblade master. He doesn't have the skill or determination to save that girl."

"And you think I do?"

"You've come this far in the face of the boy's disapproval and treachery, and you've done it alone. The boy has the King's lackeys at his side. Without them, he'd be nothing."

"But he has come far. All the way to Neverland the last time I saw him. He'll be here in Hollow Bastion."

"He'll be here to deliver you the Keyblade. That's all he is—your delivery boy. Mark my words."

Riku stared at her, and his fingers moved toward the Soul Eater. Maleficent laughed.

"Don't think you'll use my own gift against me. You let that Keyblade choose. I assure you, it will abandon him. The Keyblade is needed to open the door. You will be the one to do it."

"What's behind that door, anyway?"

"Infinite wisdom, as I've already told you. Not only the ability to save the girl's heart, but to save your world from the Heartless. They obey you, after all, not the boy. The hearts of those who have lost them, and the ability to restore them. The powers to obtain everything you've ever wanted. Powers to find people you've lost."

"I'm sure."

"Behind that door is everything you've ever dreamed of, and everything you could never dare to think. The fate of the worlds lies beyond the door, and he who holds the Keyblade will hold that fate in his hands. Make sure it's the right person."

"You mean me."

"The boy doesn't have what it takes."

Maleficent left the room. Riku rubbed his thumb across the top of his desk, pushed the Soul Eater back against the other Keyblade, and picked up the toy sword. Riku slashed it through the air; without the presence of Heartless, it failed to transform. Riku tightened his grip around the hilt.

Riku feared Maleficent told the truth about what was behind that door. It would explain why she was so determined to open it. Worse, though, Riku thought she might be correct about his rightful ownership of the Keyblade. If she really wanted to get through that door so badly, why would she pick him? If there was no way for Riku to do it, he'd be worthless to her.

Riku pushed off the urge to pull the phone from the desk drawer and climbed into bed.

----------0----------

Riku fastened the Soul Eater to his belt around noon the following day. Sora still hadn't arrived, and Maleficent's words replayed in his thoughts. His body felt jittery and restless; Riku shifted his position in his bedroom seven times before he decided to practice his fighting. Back on the Islands, fighting was always a great way to burn off tension, and the tactic held true despite how things changed.

He was about to leave his room when the toy sword caught his eyesight. This morning, he sat by his window for a long time, swinging the wooden toy. He'd left it there, lying propped against the wall under the window. Riku walked across the room and picked it. He would have returned it to the desk, but Riku glanced out the window before turning.

Outside, the Beast wandered the perimeter of the castle. Riku frowned. He was unusual, having followed Belle here without assistance. Riku wondered how he did it. Belle must be very lucky or very good to have someone care so much about her. Riku assumed it must be the latter, being a Princess of Heart, and that the someone who cared so much was a rather stupid and ugly beast.

Riku slid the toy sword on his belt next to the Soul Eater and headed outside. He found the Beast just where he'd been through the window.

"What are you doing out here?"

The Beast turned to Riku and growled. Riku sneered.

"You're the Beast, right?"

"You're with Maleficent."

Riku shrugged and raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe. So what if I am?"

"Where is Belle?"

"Is that why you're here?" The Beast growled again, and Riku frowned. His fingers found the Soul Eater's hilt. "It isn't my business to tell you. She's needed. That's as much as I can say."

"I won't let you hurt her."

"I'm not going to hurt her. I don't have anything to do with her."

"I don't believe you."

Riku narrowed his eyes and closed his fingers around the Soul Eater.

"I'm intrigued. No vessel, no help from the Heartless . . . So tell me, how'd you get here?"

"I simply believed. Nothing more to it. When our world fell into darkness, Belle was taken from me. I vowed I would find her again no matter what the cost. I believed I would find her. So, here I am. She must be here. I will have her back!"

"Take her if you can."

The Beast growled and leapt at Riku. Riku jumped back and drew the Soul Eater. If it was a fight the Beast wanted, Riku wouldn't back down. He couldn't get Kairi's heart back without Belle, and the Beast was going to have to wait. It wasn't like she was being harmed. He swung at the Beast, who caught the Soul Eater in his claws, but Riku pushed back against the force.

He was strong, but Riku had darkness on his side. He knocked the Beast off-balance, and swung again. The Beast howled in pain. It wasn't until then he heard the footsteps. Riku's eyelids fell closed. This was already going down in flames. He tried to push the anger and adrenaline away. Best to make it quick before he gave Sora more ammunition against him.

"Stop!"

Right on cue. Riku turned.

"So, you finally made it," said Riku. Sora frowned. "About time. I've been waiting for you." Riku looked to Sora's Keyblade. "We've always been rivals, haven't we? You've always pushed me as I've always pushed you."

"Riku . . ."

"But it all ends here. There can't be two Keyblade masters."

Unless there were three like Cloud said, but Maleficent seemed to know more about these matters than Cloud, and . . .

"What are you talking about?" said Sora.

_Just do it_, thought Riku. _He's going to hate you, anyway. Just do it_.

"Let the Keyblade choose . . . its true master."

Riku held out his hand, not sure what he was doing. Cloud, Maleficent, and Ansem all talked of 'calling' the Keyblade, and though wasn't sure how that was done, he concentrated his energy on ignoring the odd stare Sora directed at him, and beckoning the Keyblade. Nothing happened. It wasn't working. Then, the Keyblade yanked from Sora's grip, disappeared, and reformed in Riku's hand. He stared.

It hadn't been a lie . . .

"Maleficent was right," said Riku. "You don't have what it takes to save Kairi. It's up to me. Only the Keyblade master can open the secret door . . . and change the world."

"But that's impossible. How did this happen? I'm the one who fought my way here with the Keyblade!"

"You were just the delivery boy," said Riku, trying to hold back a laugh. "Sorry, your part's over now."

Riku fingered the wooden sword and looked at Sora. Sora's face grew redder by the second, his eyes narrowed, and Riku couldn't fight the anger rising in him. When their positions were reversed, Riku never looked at Sora like this. He tossed the wooden sword to Sora. Riku fought with it; now Sora could see what it was like on the other end of things.

"Here, go play hero with this."

He walked away from Sora before he could respond and back toward the castle, stepped into the lift, and turned around to find the duck and the dog.

"What are you doing here?" said Riku.

"We're supposed to follow the key," said Goofy.

Riku considered stabbing all three of them with the Kingdom Key.

----------0----------

"You aren't coming in my room," said Riku, staring at Donald and Goofy. "You wanted nothing to do with me before—"

"Before you took the key from Sora," said Donald. He tapped his foot (?), crossed his . . . wings (?) . . . and glared at Riku. "That wasn't very nice."

Riku glared back.

"I did what I had to do. The Keyblade is mine, or it wouldn't have come to me."

"He has a point," said Goofy.

"I don't care," said Donald.

It took a great deal of reserve not to bash the duck over the head.

"I see it went well," said Maleficent, walking up to them. She looked at Donald and Goofy. "Your new companions?"

Donald made a loud, squawking sound. Riku hoped he didn't make that sound often.

"We're supposed to follow the key," said Goofy.

"Of course," said Maleficent. "Now that you have the Keyblade, there's only one task left before you can open the door."

"What's that?"

"Dispose of the boy."

Maleficent walked off down the hall. Donald made the squawking sound again.

"Don't talk to me," said Riku. He walked in room and shut the door. The Kingdom Key joined the Soul Eater and the dark Keyblade on the desk. He pulled the bottom drawer open, found Cloud's number in the menu, and pressed the send key.

The phone rang a few times and then Cloud's voice came over the line, a little out of breath.

"Are you okay?"

"Hey," said Riku. "I think I should be asking you that."

"I just . . . haven't heard from you."

"You in Traverse Town yet?"

"Just got there. Walked into the house, phone rang, and I ditched my friends."

"Sorry. Bad timing, huh?"

"No. I'm glad you called. I'm sure Leon's covering for me."

"It's helpful having him know."

"Isn't it? Sora show up yet?"

"Funny you should ask that. He just got here."

"Have your confrontation yet?"

"The Kingdom Key is sitting on my desk."

"It picked you."

Riku sighed.

"Yeah, but just so you know, the Keyblade comes with Donald and Goofy."

"Oh, Riku, you killed them, didn't you?"

Riku laughed.

"Not yet. But they're hanging outside my bedroom door right now, mostly likely freaking out because Maleficent just showed up. Told me I've got one more task to do now that I've got the Keyblade."

Cloud sighed.

"I don't like the sound of that."

"Yeah, well, you shouldn't. She wants me to kill Sora."

"Riku . . ."

"Don't worry. I doubt I'd be able to even if I put my heart into it. I mean, I guess I'll have to confront him, and yeah, I've got the Keyblade and all . . ."

"How is Sora going to fight you without the Keyblade?"

"Um . . ."

"Riku . . ."

"I gave him the toy sword . . ."

"Riku!"

"I probably acted like an asshole, too."

"Probably?"

"Okay, I acted like an asshole, but he was . . ."

"Upset you stole his Keyblade?"

"It _chose_ me."

"You stole the Keyblade."

"It chose me."

"It chose you, but you made it choose you."

"It's for Kairi, right? It's not like . . . I mean . . . I didn't do it to be an asshole. I just acted like an asshole."

"So you're going to fight Sora?"

"I guess I have to. I mean, he's pretty mad about the Keyblade, and Maleficent wants me to kill him. A fight is inevitable. Don't worry. I won't kill him, and I'll get out of there before he gets pissed off enough to try and kill me. I don't want Sora dead; I just want him out of the way."

"Why don't you just tell him? Then you can get Kairi's heart back together."

"I think we're past the point to just kiss and make up."

"Maybe you should just make up and leaving the kissing to me."

"Kiss Sora and I'll kill you next."

"Very funny."

"I just wanted to call you and let you know . . . about the Keyblade. And that I was probably going to fight Sora. Just so, you know, when Sora gets out of Hollow Bastion and you hear all about how I tried to kill him, you know the truth."

"Call me when this is all over, okay?"

"As in when? I think it's just starting."

"As in when you open that door. Your fight with Sora is over. Whenever. Just call me when things settle down a bit. I want to know you're okay."

"I will. I have to go."

"Don't kill him, Riku. You'll regret it forever if you do."

"I won't. He's . . . my rival. My best friend. I don't want him dead."

"I know you don't, but I also don't want you to let your anger get the best of you. Or your hurt."

"I'll try. I love you."

"I love you, too. Call me later."

"I will."

"Talk to you then."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

Riku pressed end and dropped the phone on the desk. He picked up the Kingdom Key and Soul Eater, and walked out of the room. Donald and Goofy stood across the hall, Donald's angry squawks reverberating off the walls. Riku raised an eyebrow, cleared his throat, and Donald fell silent. He glared at Riku.

"If you're coming, then come, but I'm not going to wait for either one of you."

Riku walked off. He heard their footsteps scurry behind him. The worry and disappointment in Cloud's voice was still in his mind when he walked into the Entrance Hall.

The Beast's growl caused Riku to look up. He walked down the stairs, flanked by Donald and Goofy, and faced both Sora and the Beast. Didn't Sora just make friends everywhere he went?

"Quit while you can," said Riku. Sora glared.

"No. Not without Kairi."

Anger filled Riku's heart. Sora wouldn't leave without Kairi when it was Riku who'd been helping her all along?

"The darkness will destroy you."

He felt himself shift into his darkened form.

"You're wrong, Riku." Sora looked hard at him, more defiant than ever. "The darkness may destroy my body, but it can't touch my heart. My heart will stay with my friends. It'll never die!"

"Really . . ." said Riku. "Well, we'll just see about that."

He mustered a ball of dark energy and thrust it at Sora. He thought Sora might just dodge it, but he stayed rooted in place, and it clanged off Goofy's shield. Goofy had rejoined Sora on the other side.

"Sora ain't gonna go anywhere!" said Goofy.

Riku almost rolled his eyes.

"You'd betray your king?" said Riku.

"Not on your life! But I'm not gonna betray Sora, either, because he's become one of my best buddies after all we've been through together! See ya later, Donald. Could ya tell the king I'm really sorry?"

"Hold on, Goofy! We'll tell him together," said Donald, running across to Goofy and Sora. All the better. While Riku didn't plan on killing Sora, he wouldn't mind taking out those two. "Well, you know . . ." said Donald. "All for one and one for all."

Goofy nodded. Riku almost lost his lunch.

"I guess you're stuck with us, Sora," said Goofy.

"Thanks a lot . . . Donald. Goofy."

"How will you fight without a weapon?" said Riku.

Sora turned toward Riku, his eyes flashing.

"I know now I don't need the Keyblade. I've got a better weapon. My heart."

"Your heart? What good will that weak little thing do for you?"

"Although my heart may be weak, it's not alone. It's grown with each new experience, and it's found a home with all the friends I've made. I've become a part of their heart just as they've become a part of mine. And if they think of me now and then . . . if they don't forget me . . . then our hearts will be one. I don't need a weapon. My friends are my power!"

Friends. Friends that didn't include Riku. The fierceness in Sora's eyes and voice, the image of Kairi's empty body, the disappointment in Cloud's voice, crashed down on him. The Keyblade disappeared from his hands and reappeared in Sora's. Riku drew the Soul Eater.

It was like on the Islands, yet so different. As they clashed, attacked, parried, and knocked each other around, Riku realized just how much better Sora had gotten. This was more than the Hercules Cup; Sora wasn't playing, and being on the other end of his attacks was more menacing than only watching him battle. Riku threw every attack he had at Sora only to be batted away. Even with his enhanced powers, he found himself heaving for breath. True, he was emotionally battered before the battle started, he used an unfamiliar weapon, but simply put, he wasn't matched with Sora anymore. Cloud never stood a chance during that Hercules Cup.

Riku fell to his knees, hunched over, and panted. He felt the dark form fade until he was fully Riku again. His heart felt weak. Riku stood and looked at Sora, who paused, Keyblade ready for attack, but Sora didn't make a move. Riku took a step back and ran up the stairs. He headed for the lift, and his bedroom.

----------0----------

Even the familiar surroundings of his room held little comfort. Riku left two cigarettes later, and wandered Hollow Bastion. His breath was shallow, his eyes stung, and Riku kicked the wall. He turned around and headed down another corridor.

"Why? Why is he always better?"

Riku turned another corner.

"Friends? Yeah, right. I was his friend, but he threw me aside the second I walked away in Traverse Town."

Riku walked up a flight of stairs and turned right.

"He had no right to get so angry about the Keyblade. What? He can't take being on the other side of things?"

Riku walked through a doorway into another corridor.

"Why? It was mine."

"Know this," said Ansem. Riku stopped and turned. The fuzzy figure stood there again, this time a little more solid, glowing a little brighter. "The heart that is strong and true shall win the Keyblade."

"What? You're saying my heart's weaker than his?"

"For that instant, it was."

Riku shook his head and looked to the ground.

"However," said Ansem, "you can become stronger. You showed no fear in stepping through the door to darkness. It held no terror for you. Plunge deeper into the darkness and your heart will grow even stronger."

Riku hesitated. He went deep enough into darkness. Sora hated him. He let Kairi down. Cloud was disappointed. He ignored the stench of darkness pouring off Ansem.

"What should I do?"

"It's really quite simple. Open yourself to the darkness. That is all. Let your heart, your being, become darkness itself."

Riku didn't have the strength to fight as Ansem lunged toward him and Riku felt his heart stop.

* * *

**_I apologize for not responding to my Chapter 15 Reviewers. I usually check my email for review alerts and since I didn't receive any, I didn't realize I had Chapter 15 reviews until after I posted 16. So, to all recent reviews, since this is once again in order:_**

**seiza**: I love you, too. I don't know. I've always interpreted Riku this way, and as for Cloud, I just took what I saw from Advent Children and the games as I've never played FFVII. And since Kingdom Hearts is kind of an alternate Cloud universe, I took upon myself to play with him. Don't worry about them breaking up just yet. There's going to be 100 parts to this and I'm only at 17. Only 83 to go!

**WeirdoWithIssues**: Thank you for the compliment on the sex scene. I was very nervous about it, and so satisfied when I finished I thought I might be setting myself up for disappointment. Honestly, I don't know why I've always seen Riku as a smoker. Maybe cause he's the "bad" friend. I also never purposefully planned on writing it into the story, but I am a smoker, I was craving a cigarette, and since I imagined Riku as a smoker since I played the first game, he craved a cigarette, too. As for the KH storyline, I spent hours searching YouTube, transcribing the cutscenes, watching them over again for the segments, and I get to do it all over again when I get to KH2, cause I haven't even transcribed them yet. I'm done with Chain of Memories, though, so I should be okay for the next few weeks. Seriously. Plan on this following all the games to date.

**Koji Inari**: Yeah. When I got your MySpace request, I went to look at your profile and go so excited. I was like, "Wow. We have so much in common. This is so cool!" I had no idea you found me through this story. When I finally figured it out, I was so flattered. I also saw you were writing a CloudxRiku story, and though I haven't found the time to read it yet, I plan to do so. Thank you so much for all your fabulous comments. For the record, I don't care for dogs, either.

**Romantic Puck**: I'm unsure as to whether you are this far in reading to even get this response, but thank you for the compliments. As you'll see once you get this far, I switch between POV every chapter. I don't know why I do it this way; it just kind of happened. I fill in the blanks because I want to tell Riku's side of the story. That's about it.

**Anonymous Subscriber (Yexi)**: I'm sorry you didn't care for the beginning of Chapter 14, but I'm glad you liked how it ended up. I'm just following the prompts, my storyline, and the alternating POV. As I said in Chapter 14, I didn't intend for it to come out that way, but I guess that's the way the prompt led it. I feel I'm starting to lag on my updating, but I will have more time to pick it back up now that the holidays are over.

**Lapse-Raevn**: Heh. I didn't mean for it to be so cliffie, but it felt like the appropriate place considering the next prompt was where I wanted to pick up with Cloud's storyline again. As there will be 83 Chapters after this (yes, 83 chapters, and yes, I'm out of my mind), you don't have to worry about a sad ending yet. Actually, you don't have to worry about any kind of ending for a very long time. I'm not sure how good that is for either one of us, but hey, what can you do?

**_Thanks to everyone who read and didn't review. All feedback welcome and appreciated._**


	18. Lover and Enemy

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 018. Enemy

**Word Count**: 1,818

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Just as one feud comes to a head, another conflict shows its face.

**Disclaimer**: The usual standard applies, okay? They aren't mine. I stole them and I will put them back where they belong when I'm done.

**Author's Note**: As I cut the previous prompt in half, I did the same to this one. Everything I intended to write here is chopped down and the rest will be in prompt 20. It requires some rearranging, but gets two more prompts out of the way, and hey, when you've got 100 to do, that's a small help.

**Author's Note 2**: I'm going to do an FST either somewhere around prompt 50, 75, or post it with the last segment. Anything that I feel fits the mood of the prompt I'm writing at the moment or fits the mood of the story is going to be on it. The only problem now is whether to do a small one, or a 100 track one, you know, since there are 100 prompts. Seems appropriate, I think. Now I just need to figure out graphics.

* * *

**_Step Eighteen: Lover and Enemy_**

Cloud leaned against the wall in the corridors behind the Lady and Tramp statue in the Third District of Traverse Town. He stared at the cell phone and swallowed the lump in his throat. Closing his eyes, he directed his face toward the sky.

Cigarette smoke drifted into his face—a smell he now associated with Riku—and Cloud sighed. He opened his eyes and glanced at Leon.

"I could only cover for you for so long. Aerith was going to look for you, but I told her you'd respond better if I did it."

"Did she say anything else?"

"Not really. Just smiled. I think she's happy we're talking more again."

Cloud nodded.

"She and Yuffie started asking a lot of questions. I just told them you're seeing someone, but things are too weird right now for you to say anything about it. Yuffie's in shock someone besides Zack would be crazy enough to date you. Aerith just asked if she should be worried. I told her no."

"Thanks."

"No problem. They expect you to keep things from them."

Cloud winced. He dropped his head back against the wall and shut his eyes.

"I don't like keeping things from them . . ."

"It's in your nature." Leon leaned against the wall next to him. "From the way you ran out of there, I guess you haven't heard from your boy in a while."

"Sora's in Hollow Bastion."

"Yeah. He mentioned he was headed in that direction next. Didn't know for sure, but from the coordinates . . ."

"Yeah, I figured it out, too, from what he told me in Olympus Coliseum."

"Hercules Cup. Did Riku show?" Cloud nodded. "So you got him to take a field trip for a few days. You were just with him, then?" Cloud nodded again. "Didn't hear from him since you dropped him off, huh?"

"No, but I figured it was because of Sora heading there. Still . . ."

"You were nervous. Is everything okay, or was your fear justified?"

"Nothing's ever okay. Things are just . . ."

"More screwed up every time you talk to him."

"Yeah."

"What's up now?"

"Well, Riku found out he was supposed to be the Keyblade master, but gave his heart over to darkness, so it went to Sora. Maleficent told him he needed to get the Keyblade to get Kairi's heart, so Riku decided to let the Keyblade choose. The thing is, though, Riku is very sensitive when it comes to Sora, so he acts like a jackass, and he ended up . . . well, he let the Keyblade choose, and it chose Riku, but, you know, he was a jackass, and now Sora's pissed off at him.

"I honestly thought that letting the Keyblade choose was a great idea, but Riku didn't go about it the right way at all. So now he has the Keyblade, and Maleficent told him that before he can get Kairi's heart, he's got to kill Sora. He refuses to kill him, but he's off to fight him, now. I mean, I half expect to get a call from him later tonight telling me he got carried away again and killed him."

"Sora?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think Riku's the type to get so hurt he'd actually kill him. Not to mention Sora's a damn fine fighter."

"But Riku's got the Keyblade, and both Donald and Goofy bailed on Sora because they have to follow it."

"That's messed up."

"Give me a cigarette."

"You don't smoke."

"I don't care."

Leon shrugged and passed Cloud a cigarette. He coughed on the first drag, a little on the second, and not at all after that.

"How do you feel about all this?" said Leon.

"I'm worried for him."

"Riku or Sora?"

"Riku."

"You don't really think he's going to kill Sora."

"No. I think he's going to lose the Keyblade."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"He feels really guilty about Kairi. Thinks it's his fault. He even thinks it's his fault that Sora is so stressed lately because he messed up the Keyblade thing. I think he's going to lose the Keyblade, and then I don't know what. That's going to mess him up, too. Cause Sora will beat him again. And then . . ."

"You don't think Sora will . . ."

"No. I don't think he's going to kill Riku, but I'm worried about his heart. Honestly, I wish he'd just cry. He's so hurt and so angry . . ."

"You think it'll get out enough emotion for him to make a clearer decision."

"Yeah."

"You really love that little fucker, don't you?"

"I think he's seriously misinterpreted, seriously insecure, and makes all the wrong decisions because he thinks with his heart instead of his head."

"Funny you say that since listening to your heart is supposed to be so damn important."

"Listening to your heart is important, but you have to balance it with rational thought. If he could do that, this mess wouldn't have started. Even if it had, it wouldn't be so bad, and if he could learn to do it now, maybe something could be salvaged."

"I was wrong. You don't just really love that little fucker, you're crazy about him."

"I'm so worried."

"Why don't you come inside? Get distracted a little. Pass some time before he calls you back."

Cloud nodded and followed Leon down the ramp, around the wall, and up the stairs to the small house.

"What do we owe this visit to?" said Yuffie, as Cloud and Leon entered.

"I just thought I'd drop by. See how everyone was doing," said Cloud.

"Short visit. Run out the second you walk in."

"I know Yuffie's scary, but she isn't that bad," said Leon.

"It was you he was running from, Squall," said Yuffie. "He gets sick in the stomach every time someone calls you Leon. Just like the rest of us."

"Yeah," said Cloud. "What's with Leon Leonheart, anyway?"

"You know what it's about," said Leon. He looked to Yuffie. "And don't call me that name."

"Don't listen to them," said Aerith. "It's great to have you here. I've missed you."

Cloud fidgeted as she smiled at him and placed a gentle touch on his knuckles. He brushed them against his shirt.

"Actually, there was something I wanted to ask you," said Cloud, looking to Leon and Yuffie. "The both of you."

"What's up?" said Leon.

"Hades issued a new challenge for the Olympus Coliseum arena. Fifty seed challenge. I wondered if maybe you wanted to participate."

"All three of us together? Thought you said it's unfair."

"Letting Sora compete is unfair," said Cloud. Aerith, Yuffie, and Leon chuckled. "I don't know. We just had fun the last time. Maybe Yuffie can go on by herself so you don't hold her back again."

"Yeah, because it was my fault we lost," said Leon, looking to Yuffie.

"I practiced, okay?" said Yuffie. "All you wanted to do was hang out with Cloud."

"They're becoming close again," said Aerith. "I think it's great."

"Why don't you two fight together, then," said Yuffie. "I don't need you. I'll get farther without you two slowpokes."

"Might be fun," said Leon. "When's it going to be?"

"Next couple of weeks," said Cloud. "I'll give you a call. Should I sign you both up?"

"I'm always up for a good brawl," said Yuffie, punching the air with her fists.

"Yeah," said Leon. "Put Yuffie down on her own and we'll go into it together. Show her who held whom back."

"All right," said Cloud. He laughed. "It's a deal, then."

"It's actually funny you should bring up Olympus Coliseum. I heard something about the arena from one of the travelers that came through here a couple days ago."

"What's that?"

"Well, apparently there were two fighters that were so amazing during preliminaries they'll be fighting just on their own. I believe that satyr is calling them the Gold and Platinum matches."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Anyone who wants to compete against them and finished the preliminaries can go for it, but he's advising that it isn't a good idea if you haven't placed fairly high in a match. They're supposed to be tough."

"Sounds like a challenge. Could be fun."

"That's not what I'm getting at." Leon stared pointedly at Cloud. "The competitor for the Platinum Match is supposed to be extremely difficult—practically unbeatable. Guy I talked to said he's got long, silver hair and fights with an abnormally long sword."

It took several seconds for this information to arrange itself in Cloud's thought process; Riku was temporarily pushed aside.

"Sephiroth."

"Who else could it be?"

"Looks like _he_ found _you_," said Aerith.

"You said anyone could compete, right?" said Cloud.

"Anyone," said Leon. "I bet he's hiding in Olympus Coliseum or a world nearby, waiting for this match . . ."

"And waiting for me to come to him."

"Exactly. So when you go back to Olympus Coliseum, you should start training. Hard. And when you face him, beat him until you have nothing left to give."

Cloud nodded.

It figured. Just as the feud between Sora and Riku came to the point of fighting, Sephiroth poked his head out of hiding.

"Maybe I should head back earlier than planned. Looks like I've got a lot of training to do. I mean, I'd like to visit . . ."

"This is what you left to do in the first place," said Aerith. "Spend the night here and go in the morning. Sephiroth will be there when you get back."

"Train for the Hades Cup," said Leon. "Use it as practice. As soon as it gets closer to the Cup, Yuffie and I will join you out there."

"I'll come to cheer for you, too."

"See? Even Aerith is going to come. We'll make sure you're ready to take on Sephiroth."

Cloud nodded and sunk onto the bed. He dropped his head into his hands. Sephiroth and Riku. Two silver-haired males in his life that meant very different things, and at the moment, caused him a great deal of worry. He didn't know what to wish for more—Sephiroth's defeat or Riku's safety. Both things were so monumental, and Cloud hoped that both would manifest.

The last time he'd faced the battle between lover and enemy, the lover died. Riku was so much more than Zack ever was, and Cloud would be damned if he lost both battles this time. He worried the edge of the pocket his cell phone rested in. When he looked up to meet Leon's eyes, he saw his own sadness and concern reflected.

----------0----------

Cloud was on the Gummi ship somewhere between Traverse Town and Olympus Coliseum the following day when his cell phone rang again. It was Leon's, not Riku's, name on the Caller ID.

* * *

**_Yeah, so I wrote this right after I posted the last one, so I have nothing new to say._**

**_It's been, like, three hours._**

**_I'd love me some feedback. My stats tell me there are readers out there._**

**_Heh._**

**_I'm tired so until. . .well, tomorrow._**


	19. Imprisonment

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 019. Adventure

**Word Count**: 2,947

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: It was like a waking nightmare. Someone once told him that within darkness, there is always a little light, but he could no longer remember who that was. Riku thought this must be what it was like to lose your heart.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of this, nor do I know anyone who does. The usual blabber that comes before a fanfic so you can't get sued. I am making absolutely no money off this trifle of a story.

**Spoilers**: I suppose if you haven't finished the first game, there are some spoilers contained here. Otherwise, not really.

**Author's Note**: I have nothing to say about this one. It came out exactly the way I wanted it to, so take it for what it is.

* * *

**_Step Nineteen: Imprisonment_**

It was like a waking nightmare. Riku was frozen, unable to control his body. He watched as the scenery changed; corridors he'd taken to when he met Ansem passed by as his feet traced the path to his bedroom. He tied to stop the movement—if only to prove to himself that he could—but failed. His body traveled independent of his actions and will.

The darkness in his heart was not alone. He felt another presence there, darker than anything he felt before. It suffocated the light he had left—light Riku didn't even know was there until now. Riku felt his heart beat faster, and if he controlled his own breathing, it would have been shallow, but even that was beyond him. He tried to take a deep breath, but it failed. His head felt dizzy; everything spun around him.

He watched as his hand lifted and opened the bedroom door. The Soul Eater dropped to his desk, and his hand picked up the other Keyblade—the one to unlock hearts. Riku struggled, tried to open his fingers to drop it, but the hand held tight.

"Stop that," said . . . something. Himself, he thought. Riku heard his own voice in it, but it was twisted, mixed with Ansem's, and if Riku had control of his own eyes, he'd cry, but instead, he attached the dark Keyblade to his belt and left the room. "You must give your heart over to the darkness."

"I won't let you use me like this," Riku tried to say, but his mouth didn't obey him anymore.

Ansem was in control now.

----------0----------

Riku, unable to talk, move, or do anything physically, found he had a lot of time to observe, and even more to think. Unfortunately, most of what occupied Riku's thoughts depressed, worried, and frightened him. Ansem could kill Sora. Ansem wouldn't care less about whether or not Kairi got her heart back. How was he going to contact Cloud, or even explain what happened? What would Ansem say if Cloud called?

Worst of all, he got the bad feeling that this was what Ansem had in mind all along—maybe even from the second he contacted Riku on Destiny Islands. He didn't have a body, and sharing the body with someone who could bear a Keyblade opened up a thousand possibilities. He felt used and wasted. Maleficent didn't need him to open the door; all she needed was the princesses, and for Riku to grow so hopeless that Ansem could gain the body he needed.

Maleficent never helped him; she showed him Sora just at the right time—when Sora had grown close enough to his new companions, and had enough other things on his mind. She must have known about Kairi all along, but she waited until after Riku met Sora again, when he'd feel most desperate to fix everything. She may have even known about Cloud, courtesy of Ansem, and only allowed him to go because, upon returning from Olympus Coliseum, Riku felt so determined to finish things that he held little qualms about obtaining the Keyblade from Sora.

Of course, he never kept the Keyblade, but losing it had led him here—here at this horrible place where his words and actions no longer belonged to him, and he was forced to stand by and watch it all unfold.

The anger he felt toward Sora drained; Sora had never been against him. Sora had seen Riku fall deeper into the darkness, and cared enough to try and beat some sense into him. Riku wished he would have realized sooner. Sora had tried to turn Riku against Maleficent, and for good reason. Sora tried to befriend Riku on multiple occasions again, but Riku didn't listen—not to Sora, and not to Cloud. He was too lost in his own misconceptions.

Power had never gotten to Sora; it got to Riku.

As the anger against Sora drained, it grew toward Ansem and Maleficent. He swore, whether he could breathe, move, and speak or not, he would not let them hurt Kairi or Sora. Riku would stop it, no matter the consequence.

"So, I see the path has emerged at last," said Ansem, his voice still laced with Riku's own. His anger grew as Riku saw the Grand Hall and the innocent Princesses of Heart, locked away, pawns in this game just as much as Riku was.

"Yes," said Maleficent. Riku took note that she showed no surprise at the change in his voice. "The Keyhole to the darkness."

So, she had lied about that, too. There was no wisdom there—no way to save Kairi's heart. All that lay beyond was more darkness. Riku's anger grew a little more.

"Unlock it and the Heartless will overrun this world," said Ansem.

"What do I care? The darkness holds no power over me. Rather, I will use its power to rule all worlds."

"Such confidence," said Ansem. Riku watched as his own hand raised, and the dark Keyblade appeared there.

"Oh," said Maleficent. Ansem directed the Keyblade toward the Keyhole. Nothing happened. Maleficent's smile fell. "Impossible! The Princesses of Heart are all here!" She turned and her eyes fell on Kairi. "It must be her."

Her? Kairi? Riku watched as Ansem joined Maleficent by Kairi, but his mind raced. Kairi was the last Princess of Heart? And Riku had brought her here, straight to Hollow Bastion without knowing that he put her fate in their hands. Shame overcame his senses as he forgot his anger, and he, too, looked at Kairi.

"I'm sorry," Riku thought—words he was now unable to say.

"Without her heart, she will never be able to release her power," said Ansem.

A noise—signal of movement nearby—caught Ansem and Maleficent's attention. Kairi was ripped from Riku's sight as Ansem turned his head toward where the sound originated.

"The King's fools are here," said Maleficent. "I'll deal with them myself. You stay here and guard the princesses."

Riku and Ansem watched as she left. Riku didn't try to struggle against Ansem's hold just yet. Sora would finish off Maleficent; Riku had no doubts about that. Right now, he had to wait, gather his strength, and when it was needed, push with enough force to save Kairi and Sora from whatever Ansem tried to do. Until then, Riku would just wait, observe, and think.

----------0----------

"Do you need some help?" said Ansem. Riku would've smiled if he could as he stood in the Castle Chapel, staring down at Maleficent dying.

"Riku," said Sora.

Ansem turned to face Sora.

"Is that—" said Donald.

"Yes. A Keyblade," said Ansem.

Riku's heart sank. Ansem was in Riku's body, still looked like him, and Sora thought . . . didn't Sora notice? Couldn't he hear the difference in the voice?

"But unlike yours," Ansem continued, "this Keyblade holds the power to unlock people's hearts. Allow me to demonstrate . . . Behold!"

Ansem directed the Keyblade toward Maleficent.

"No," Maleficent said, gasping. A purple-blue light appeared around her heart.

"Now, open your heart, surrender it to the darkness!" said Ansem. "Become darkness itself!"

The green light Riku was so familiar with, that had sunk into his heart so many times before, engulfed Maleficent.

"This is it! This power!" said Maleficent. She laughed. "Darkness . . . The true darkness!"

Ansem took a step back, and then another, exiting the Castle Chapel just as green flames erupted and Maleficent transformed into a large, looming dragon. Riku tried to push his body forward and rush back in; Ansem held him back.

"I won't let you kill Sora," thought Riku.

"I told you to stop that," said Ansem.

Riku heard the sounds of battle through the door as Ansem waited for one to finish the other off, and then it seemed just as soon as it started, it stopped. Ansem pushed open the door to reenter the Castle Chapel. Riku felt the pressure in his heart lessen upon the sight of the dead dragon, and Sora stood there with his Keyblade, bruised, but alive.

Ansem walked over to Maleficent and knelt beside her.

"How ironic. She was just another puppet after all."

"What?" said Donald. Sora said nothing, didn't even glare, he just looked at Riku. Riku wished he could tell Sora that for the first time in a while, he was really looking back.

"The Heartless were using Maleficent from the beginning," said Ansem. "She failed to notice the darkness in her heart eating away at her. A fitting end for such a fool."

Sora disappeared from Riku's vision as Ansem stepped back through a dark portal.

----------0----------

Riku looked down at the princesses, and Kairi in the center. Ansem, Riku discovered, was more powerful than Riku, and brought more dark powers to pair with his abilities—abilities that were there far before this adventure began, and abilities that darkness bestowed upon him along the way. One of these new abilities Ansem brought to his body was the power to fly, which was how Riku ended up on this pipe above the Keyhole to darkness in the first place.

Ansem sat there, waiting for Sora. He didn't speak of it, but the darkness that weaved its way into his heart through Ansem grew stronger, and Riku didn't need to hear words anymore. He knew Ansem's emotions without being told—limited emotions that so far consisted of anger and sick amusement. Upon feeling Ansem invade his heart, Riku realized he was more twisted that he ever would have guessed.

It was hard, though, to sit here and wait. Even though Sora ran through the door to the Grand Hall no more than five minutes after Ansem's departure, it felt like years. Riku tried to maintain his sense of self, but like Ansem invaded his body, the darkness in him invaded Riku's heart. He grew weak; he thought this must be what it's like to lose your heart to the darkness. This was how the Heartless were created, and soon, Riku feared he'd become one of them.

Images grew fuzzy as did the sounds around him. His thought process became disjointed. He tried to picture Cloud, but the effect wasn't as it had been in those long corridors of darkness. It felt like months, but it was mere seconds that passed when Riku realized he could no longer remember what Cloud looked like. He had seen Sora minutes ago, and though he knew Sora's name, he couldn't picture him, either.

Riku sat there on the pipe with Ansem as he took over his body, voice, and heart. He looked hard at Kairi, because she was still there, and her visage was the only one he could still see. He tried to remember the Islands, what it had been like before, and he clung to last bit of will inside.

Someone told him once that even in darkness, there is always a little light, but Riku could no longer remember who it was. Still, he tried to find the last light left.

"Kairi!" a voice shouted, and then Sora came into view. So that's what Sora looked like. He kneeled by her and lifted her upper body into his lap. Riku felt his last shred of light push a little of the darkness away. "Kairi! Kairi! Open your eyes!"

"It's no use," said Ansem.

Riku would have liked to tell Sora not to listen to him, but everything was spinning again. Sora looked up to where Riku and Ansem sat on the pipe.

"That girl has lost her heart," said Ansem. "She cannot wake up."

"What?" said Sora. He laid Kairi back to the ground. "You . . . You're not Riku."

The light in Riku's heart grew a little more. Sora did notice.

"The Keyhole cannot be completed so long as the last Princess of Heart still sleeps," said Ansem. He leapt from the pipe, descending slowly in front of the Keyhole to darkness.

Sora's eyes widened and he broke his gaze to look at Kairi.

"A princess . . .? Kairi's a princess?"

"Yes, and without her power, the Keyhole will remain incomplete. It is time she awakened."

"Whoever you are, let Riku go! Give him back his heart!"

Riku wanted to hug Sora right now and never let go. Sora noticed. Riku tried to stave off the darkness attempting to overtake his heart again. The light inside it grew.

"But first," said Ansem, "you must give the princess back her heart."

Ansem lifted the dark Keyblade and pointed it at Sora, making contact. Sora fell to the ground and clutched his chest as Donald called out his name.

"What's—" said Sora.

Riku tried to push the dark away, tried to separate from Ansem or regain control of his body. Nothing seemed to be working.

"Don't you see yet? The princess's heart is responding," said Ansem. He walked down the staircase toward Sora, his companions, and Kairi. Riku pushed harder against Ansem's pull.

"Kairi . . ." said Sora, touching his chest. "Kairi's inside me?"

"I know all that there is to know."

"Tell me. Who are you?"

"It is I, Ansem, the seeker of darkness."

In his head, Riku snorted. A bit of the darkness receded.

Ansem walked closer to them, and Donald made that annoying noise Riku hated again. He ran toward Ansem and tried to attack, but failed. Ansem stood over Sora and pointed the dark Keyblade at him for the second time.

"So, I shall release you now, Princess. Complete the keyhole with your power. Open the door, lead me into everlasting darkness."

Ansem swung the Keyblade. Sora blocked it with his.

"Forget it! There's no way you're taking Kairi's heart!"

Riku couldn't break free of the grip, not even as Ansem battled Sora. Sora beat him before, though, and Riku hoped that with this incentive, he could do it again. Ansem had more powers, different tactics, and Sora took a beating, but it was with relief that Riku fell. He felt no pain, but the dizziness came back from such swift shifts in focal points. Still, he cheered inside for Sora and Kairi's safety.

"Sora! Sora, look!"

"The . . . The Keyhole."

Donald. Goofy. Riku, though he wished he didn't, knew those voices.

Sora pointed the Keyblade toward the Keyhole, but all it did was sputter.

"It won't work! The Keyhole's not finished yet!" said Goofy.

"What can we do?" said Sora.

"Maybe we gotta go wake Kairi up," said Goofy.

"I think you're right. If we can free her heart . . . But . . . But how?" There was a long pause. "A Keyblade that unlocks people's hearts. I wonder."

"No!" Riku tried to say. He tried to lift his body to stop him, but it was no use.

"Sora?" said Goofy.

Riku watched Sora pick up the Keyblade. Everything went dark. When he could see anything again, he realized he was no longer in his own body, but in Ansem's. His voice was gone; Ansem's alone was in its place. Riku's heart felt so weak. He couldn't see anymore.

"So, you . . . awakened . . . Princess," said Ansem. It sounded like static, but the few words he could make out caused alarm to rise within the little left in him. "Keyhole . . . served your purpose. But . . . over."

Riku saw Ansem approach a very blurry image. No, it couldn't be. Where was Sora? Kairi? She was . . . awake?

Riku pieced together what he heard, and expended all energy to stay focused. He could die after this, lose his heart, whatever was happening to him, but he wouldn't let Ansem have the last word. Kairi was awake. Sora picked up the dark Keyblade. He must have freed Kairi's heart, but where was Sora? Was he dead? Had he killed himself to save Kairi? And Ansem . . . Ansem said Kairi had served her purpose for the Keyhole, and something was over . . .

Riku would let his heart be taken—much less his body—and have it end in Ansem killing Kairi. He put all his light left into pushing against Ansem's pull.

"Don't make . . . move!" said Donald.

The voices became a little clearer.

"Do you think . . . can stop him . . . ourselves?" said Goofy.

Ansem stilled as if no longer able to move forward. Riku pushed harder.

"I don't know!" said Donald.

"Impossible . . ." said Ansem.

Riku's vision cleared, his heart detached from the darkness, and he stood before Ansem, arms outstretched. He took half a second to observe his transparent figure—that he no longer had a body, but was reduced to whatever Ansem had been before—and then he cast the thought aside.

"No," said Riku. The relief at hearing his own voice without Ansem's laced into it was indescribable. "You won't use me for this!"

He blocked off Ansem. His will was giving.

"Riku!" said Kairi.

"You've got to run! The Heartless are coming!"

Gaggles of shadows appeared around the room. Kairi looked at Riku, determination in her eyes, and then she ran off with Donald and Goofy.

Riku's strength gave out. Instead of returning to Ansem, though, as he had thought would happen, he fell into nothingness. Everything was black—darker than the corridors of darkness. His mind fell into haze.

When Riku was little, he and Sora talked of great adventures. They pretended to battle evil, but they—the heroes—always came out victorious. It was Riku's last thought before everything became nothing.

* * *

**_That's it for this installment._**

**_To my two little reviewers:_**

**_seiza_**: Yes. 100 Chapters. Which I why I titled this fic '100 Steps to Somewhere.' You'll find out all about why Leon called Cloud in the next chapter (or step, as I'm calling them for the purpose of this story).

**_ChibiFrubaGirl_**: Yes, ma'am, I will be following this through KH2, and I already have a good idea on what I'm doing with this story for KH:CoM. So, you know, I know you said you didn't care if CoM was included, but it's going to be, so I hope that isn't a bad thing. I already played all of Reverse/Rebirth again, writing down all the dialogue and stuff, for this story, so it's going in. I only plan on this ending in the aftermath of KH2. As for your concern about dropping this story, I hope I don't. I picked it up because I dropped a lot of stories two years ago and I wanted to get back into a series I would actually finish. So of course I decided to pick a challenge with 100 prompts. I made completing this a New Year's Resolution (one of the few). It may be the first resolution I actually keep.

**_To everyone else:_**

**_Thanks for being dears and giving this a looksie. I hope you enjoyed yourself. I know _I_ like this story, but who knows how credible my opinion is? I also like this pairing, which seems to lack fans._**

**_I have nothing original to say to encourage feedback. I also won't stop writing this story if you don't leave one because I write this story for me first and foremost, so I'm not even going to leave a threat. I like reviews, okay? It's nice to know that something I put a lot of my thought, time, and effort into is being read and enjoyed by someone other than me. Because like I said, who knows how credible my opinion is?_**


	20. Another Waking Nightmare

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 020. Fantasy

**Word Count**: 2,981

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: A life without Riku was a life hardly worth living, but neither was a life with Sephiroth.

**Disclaimer**: I'm too broke to even be a poor, college student. I have seven dollars to my name, and two Dollar Tree paychecks waiting to be picked up. I paid for all three Kingdom Hearts games at Walmart. Let's just say I own no rights and am not affiliated with anyone who owns to the rights to Kingdom Hearts or the characters contained within. If I did, I'd have hit them up for money by now.

**Author's Note**: After this, I am 1/5 of the way through this story. Only 80 to go. With the diet/exercise routine I'm on for my sister's wedding, she will be married and I will be thin by the time this story is over, I imagine. Oh, well. Party for twenty percent. Yay!

**Author's Note 2**: I feel bad for Cloud in this chapter. Yes, I do.

* * *

**_Step Twenty: Another Waking Nightmare_**

Though the Gummi was on autopilot, Cloud fiddled with the controls. He looked out the window ahead, watching the Gummi cut its course toward Olympus Coliseum. He picked up the cigarette pack he stole from Leon, turned it upside down, watched a few of the cigarettes slide out, turned it over, and pushed them back in. Cloud reached in his pocket, and pulled the cell phone out for the thirteenth time that day. The display said nothing about missed calls, but Cloud checked the call log anyway. Maybe he hit a button or something and wiped it from the menu. The last call listed told him it had been Riku yesterday about the upcoming conflict between Riku and Sora, which Cloud answered. Riku hadn't called since.

Cloud shifted in his seat.

He turned his thoughts to Sephiroth and the Platinum match. It stayed there for a few minutes before Riku came back to mind. He bounced his heels and tapped his fingertips on the chair's armrest.

Cloud pulled out a cigarette and stared at it, trying to decide whether he was so stressed he should smoke it or not when his cell phone rang. It was Leon's, not Riku's, name on the Caller ID. His heart fell.

"What do you want?" said Cloud. Leon didn't laugh as Cloud anticipated. He straightened in his seat. "Leon?"

"Hey . . ." said Leon. "I just . . . you haven't heard from Riku, have you?"

"No. Why?"

Leon sighed. Cloud's eyebrows furrowed. He set the cigarette pack aside and leaned forward, propping his forehead on the heel of his left hand.

"I . . . don't know how to tell you this . . ."

"This is bad news, isn't it?"

"Sora got here this afternoon a couple hours after you left . . ."

"Sora . . ."

"He just came from Hollow Bastion."

"That was fast."

"Yeah. He . . ."

"He told you something about Riku that you don't know how to tell me."

"Yeah. Only he didn't come alone."

"Donald and Goofy?"

"Kairi. She's awake. Has her heart back. Came here with Sora."

"And let me guess, Riku isn't with them."

"No . . ."

Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Just tell me, Leon. It isn't like you to dance around topics, and it's freaking me out."

"Kairi's heart . . . it was in Sora, I guess. Riku . . . Riku's lost his heart, Cloud."

Cloud took another deep breath. He didn't trust himself to speak.

"Sora said that . . . well, he told us about the Keyblade. He said that he got it back, though, before their fight. Riku fought him, but Sora didn't want to kill him . . . of course . . . but when Sora saw him again, his voice was changed. He was acting strange. Sora said he realized it wasn't Riku . . . that someone got him . . . said his name was Ansem. Does that mean anything to you?"

Cloud sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Yeah. He mentioned Ansem."

"Kairi told us that Ansem was going to try and kill her, but . . . Riku . . . he stopped it. She said he wasn't . . . real. From what I can tell, this Ansem guy took over Riku's body and made it his own. Kairi didn't see Riku's body; she saw Ansem's. Anyway, Riku kind of appeared in front of him and held him back . . . told Donald, Goofy, and Kairi to run. Kairi said he was kind of transparent, glowing yellow—light, you know?"

"So his heart beat the darkness, but Ansem has his body."

"Right. Sora's going back there to try to help him, but . . ."

"Riku's heart might be gone forever. He'll end up wherever hearts taken by the Heartless go."

"I'm really sorry, Cloud."

"Why? You didn't do anything."

"I know how you feel about him."

"You're just sorry you had to be the unlucky bastard who told me."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," said Cloud. He shrugged. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I won't care if you cry."

"I'm not going to cry. I'm going to kill Sephiroth in Olympus Coliseum, and then I'm going to kill Ansem."

"I think Sora's already planning on that one."

"Then I'll help."

"Won't Sora wonder why you want to kill Ansem?"

"I don't really care if he does."

"Cloud, if anyway can save Riku, it's Sora."

"I know. I have to go."

"Cloud, are you going to be okay to fly?"

"It's on autopilot. I'll see you when you get into Olympus Coliseum, okay?"

Leon hesitated.

"Okay. I'll see you soon."

"Yeah."

Cloud pressed end on the cell phone, looked at it, and found Riku's number in the contact list. He pressed send. Riku's voicemail picked up on the fourth ring—all thirty-seven times he tried to call. Cloud dropped the phone on the seat beside him—Riku's seat. He dropped his head in his hands.

Cloud wasn't a spiritual person—hardly believed there was a higher power at all—but he clasped his hands together and looked out the side window of the Gummi.

"Please let him be okay. Let Sora figure something out. Please. Just let him be okay."

----------0----------

Cloud's fighting was shit. At least that was Leon's assessment a week later when he, Yuffie, and Aerith showed up at the hotel in Thebes. They walked down to the arena together late in the afternoon to practice. Thirty minutes later, Leon told Cloud his fighting was shit.

"You're never going to beat Yuffie like that," said Leon. He arched an eyebrow and looked across the arena to where Yuffie practiced, and then to the stands where Aerith cheered her on, smiling and clapping. "How are you doing?"

"Apparently, I'm doing shitty."

"You know what I mean."

Cloud looked at Leon.

"Shitty. Have you heard from Sora?"

"Yeah. Yuffie, Aerith, and I went back to Hollow Bastion just after Sora did."

"You? You went to Hollow Bastion?"

"Well, now that Maleficent is gone and that big Keyhole to the darkness is cleared up, we can start rebuilding the town. I owe it to the people of our world."

"You didn't do anything . . ."

"Exactly. I failed to protect my home."

"No one short of Sora could have done it and you should stop being so hard on yourself."

Leon shrugged.

"Anyway, I've got Yuffie, Aerith, and Cid in on it. Aerith is going to contact Tifa, too, and see if she wants to help. We're going to restore Hollow Bastion back to the way it was before. You can help if you like."

"Once I finish off Sephiroth, I'd love to. But about Riku . . .?"

"Ansem wasn't there when Sora got back. Sora's found another world, though, beyond Hollow Bastion. He's going there after the Hades Cup."

"Does he think . . .?"

"He says the farther he goes beyond Hollow Bastion, the worse it feels. He seems pretty convinced he'll find Ansem there. Once he takes care of that . . ."

"He might be able to help Riku. Emphasis on the might."

"You'll take care of Sephiroth after the Hades Cup. Sora is going after Ansem. Look at it this way: by the time you square things off with Sephiroth, Sora might just about have Riku back."

Cloud looked to the empty stands where, when he'd last fought here in a match, Riku sat, cheering him on. Cloud's eyes dropped to the ground. He sighed.

"I miss him."

"You hardly saw him."

"I talked to him almost every day, sometimes more than once."

Leon nodded.

"I know."

"I don't know what to do. He's all I can think about."

"You have to concentrate on Sephiroth. He isn't dead. He isn't like Zack, okay?"

"Fuck Zack, okay? Riku's . . ."

"Did you just say what I think you said?"

"What? Fuck Zack?"

"Yes." Cloud shrugged. "You're worse off than I thought."

"Riku is nothing like Zack, and I wish you'd stop comparing them. Zack died. I grieved. I'm over it. Riku . . . Leon, I think if I don't see him again I'm going to carry this with me for the rest of my damn life. I really don't want to do that.

"I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking my phone's ringing. I keep hearing his voice, seeing his face . . . I keep trying to practice to distract myself, but then I start thinking about him. You know, yesterday I went to call him and then I remembered. I'm living in this fantasy world where he isn't gone. I don't know what to do."

Leon tapped Cloud's sword with his foot.

"Defeat Sephiroth, help us rebuild Hollow Bastion, and let Sora take care of Ansem."

"I should be doing something."

"There's nothing you can do, Cloud. It's going to take the Keyblade. Sora's on top of it. You'll get Riku back."

"How do you know?"

Leon shrugged.

"I've got a good feeling about it."

"At least one of us does."

----------0----------

Days passed, and with each one, Cloud grew more restless. He sat out on the balcony at nights, staring up at the stars. He wondered if he and Riku still shared the same sky, and if Riku thought of him, if Riku could think at all. Aerith joined him most nights, saying nothing, but she snuck looks in his direction. Cloud saw the frown, the shallow lines in her forehead, but he didn't know what to say to assuage her concern. He didn't even know what to do to assuage his own.

During the day, he practiced fighting with Leon and Yuffie. His fighting was more focused with his friends around, thoughts less likely to trail off onto Riku.

Some moron once said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Cloud assumed that this person had never really been in love. At one time, Cloud thought he was in love with Zack, but this feeling he got from just the thought of Riku was nothing compared to it. Before Riku, he could focus. He might not have been as close to Leon anymore as he would have liked. He might have focused only on Sephiroth's destruction to take back a life that held little warmth, but it was a life.

Cloud was starting to think that if he defeated Sephiroth this time, the life he would go back to without Riku wasn't much of one. Before Riku, his life may have had little warmth, but there was some. Life without Riku was cold and empty. Then again, a life with Sephiroth in it was hardly a life, either.

Life without Riku also contained a Leon that gave him many sympathetic looks. It was a life he could do without.

When the Hades cup arrived, Leon told him to imagine everyone he fought to be Sephiroth. When his fighting remained off, Leon told him to picture Ansem. This was a little more effective, but Cloud didn't know what Ansem really looked like. They lost against Sora, Donald, and Goofy after thirty rounds. Yuffie only lasted ten. Through the rest of the tournament, Cloud sat with Leon, Aerith, and Yuffie. He paid little attention to the tournament or the banter that ensued between Leon and Yuffie over just who actually had lost the Pegasus Cup to Sora.

When Sora won the tournament, Cloud was unsurprised and a little inspired. At least he would use that skill against Ansem. He followed his friends out of the arena to meet with Sora.

"I made it farther than you," said Leon. "Come on, Yuffie."

"Sora beat me before you!" said Yuffie. "I never got the chance to fight you."

"You wouldn't have beaten us if you did get the chance."

"Maybe not against both you and Cloud, but I could take you on. Come on, _Squall_. You and me. Right now. One on one."

"Don't try to get a rise out of me by using that name, Yuffie."

"Ha! I think someone's scared!"

"Hardly."

"Look," said Aerith. "There's Sora."

"I think you're scared."

"I am not scared."

"Prove it."

"I don't have to prove anything to you."

"Squally's scared. 'Oh. My name's Squall and I won't fight the wonderful, powerful ninja, Yuffie, because I'm a chicken!'"

"All right, Yuffie? You want to go? You think you can handle it?"

"I can handle anything you've got to throw at me."

"All right. Let's go. Right now."

"Don't you want to say hi to Sora?" said Aerith.

"We just saw him," said Leon.

"Tell him hi for us, though," said Yuffie.

"And that I can't see him right now because I'm kicking Yuffie's ass."

"Yeah, right. In your dreams, Squall."

"Stop using that name."

"Squally Squall-Squall."

"Let's go. It's on."

Yuffie bounced back in the arena, and Leon stomped in behind her, face livid, sword drawn. Aerith sighed.

"They have a lot of energy, don't they?" said Cloud. Aerith nodded. "Let's go say hi to Sora."

She nodded a second time, and they crossed the groups of competitors and spectators to where Sora, Donald, and Goofy were laughing with Hercules.

"Hey," said Cloud. He extended his hand. "Good fight."

"Yeah," said Sora. Cloud noticed his smile didn't reach his eyes. Hercules seemed to notice someone across the throngs of people, and after a quick goodbye, retreated. "Hi, Aerith."

"Hello, Sora."

"So, where are you off to next?" asked Cloud.

"New world. Don't know until I get there," said Sora. He stretched his arms over his head and sighed.

"Leon told me about what happened in Hollow Bastion."

"Oh. Yeah. That. Where is Leon anyway?"

"Yuffie claims that it wasn't fair she didn't get to fight Leon in the tournament, so they're battling one on one in the arena," said Aerith. She laughed and shrugged.

"Oh," said Sora. He, too, laughed and nodded.

"Sorry to hear about Riku," said Cloud. Damn, it even hurt to say his name.

"Yeah . . . but at least Kairi's okay, right?" Sora shrugged and looked to the ground, toeing it with his shoe. "I don't know. That's the next plan. Find Riku and . . ."

"Get his heart back?"

"Leon told you that, too, huh?"

"Told me the whole story, really."

"Yeah, well . . . I'm hoping that something comes from going to this new world, but . . . I don't know. Let me know if you hear anything, okay? Any mention of Riku or Ansem from anyone."

Cloud nodded.

"I will. Let me know if you find him, too."

Sora cocked his head to the side. Cloud could've slapped himself.

"I mean, I know how much it sucks to lose a friend," said Cloud. "I want to know if it all works out for you."

Sora smiled and nodded. It was a lame cover, but Sora took it for more than what it was worth. Cloud sighed.

"Yeah, I'll let you know."

"He's alive, right?"

Sora shrugged.

"I don't know. Ansem did something to him that made him lose his heart. That's all I know. He _could_ be dead, I guess. I hope not."

"Me, too . . . For your sake."

"And his," Sora said.

Cloud nodded.

"Yeah. That too."

----------0----------

A life with Sephiroth was hardly worth living, Riku or not. That's what Cloud told himself as he walked up to the satyr to enter the Platinum match.

"You sure?" said Phil.

"As sure as I'll ever be."

"You be careful, kid. He's tough."

Tough, indeed. Only it wasn't killing him that was the problem. Keeping it that way was a whole other thing.

Cloud waited as contestants took their turn. Even Sora failed the first few tries. Cloud tried to make small talk, but Sora was focused. He told Cloud that he had gone off to the new world, was convinced Ansem was there, and returned to Olympus Coliseum to brush up on his fighting.

"Once I defeat this guy," said Sora, pointing toward the arena door, "I'll know I'm ready."

Sora did win, many tries later, but Sephiroth wasn't dead, wasn't even really injured. From what Cloud gathered, after Sephiroth took enough blows, he simply stopped fighting, told Sora he was merely a passable fighter, and conceded. Cloud supposed he either didn't want Sora messing up his hair, or was sick of waiting on Sora to stop coming back for more, and wanted to get straight to Cloud. He had no problems obliging.

Upon Cloud's turn, he entered the arena and waited. From the other side, a side he often competed from, Sephiroth emerged, his one, giant wing poised. Cloud frowned. For a few seconds they stood, staring at each other. Sephiroth's long, silver hair blew in the wind, and though there were many times that the thought of Sephiroth's hair connected to Riku in his mind, this wasn't one of them.

"So, we meet at last," said Cloud.

"I was searching for you, too."

Cloud pushed Riku from his mind. If Riku returned, Cloud would do everything he could to not have Sephiroth be alive when it happened. If he didn't—now, standing across from Sephiroth, there was only one important thing to do. Riku lost his heart to the darkness, and Sephiroth was Cloud's Ansem. He wouldn't let it happen to him, too.

"I can't wake from this nightmare," said Cloud. "You are my darkness."

"If that's so, I shall draw you into the darkness. Into the nightmare that forever deprives you of light, from which you can never awaken."

Cloud drew his sword. As Leon would say, it was on.

* * *

**_I guess that's it for now. Today, anyway._**

**_Blargh._**

**_So, yeah, the next part is another Riku one in the world of darkness, closing the door, and all that jazz._**

**_Like I already said in the previous part (as I wrote that note only a few hours ago and these two really go hand in hand), I like reviews, okay? Yeah. So that's me encouraging feedback because I feel unoriginal after all this angst._**

**_Angsty, angsty boys._**

**_Heh._**

**_See ya all next time!_**


	21. Black

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 021. Colour

**Word Count**: 1,929

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Everything was nothing; black was everything.

**Disclaimer**: These get old and rather tiresome after a while, don't they? Ah, well. Okay, so I don't own these characters, or worlds, or anything like that. I don't even have original characters for me to own. All this stuff belongs to people affiliated with Disney and Square Enix. I am not one of these people. I am never one of the people affiliated with a damn thing, and one day, when I am, I will be rich and happy, but until then, nothing. Nada. I am making zero money off this trifle of a story (because saying zero money is even less than no money). I am not making any munny off it, either. So there.

**Author's Note**: Since Cloud's conclusion to the first Kingdom Hearts game was in the last chapter, this is the end of the first game for Riku. Next we're off to battles with Sephiroth and the rebuilding of Hollow Bastion with Cloud. Riku is off to Chain of Memories come chapter 23.

* * *

**_Step Twenty-One: Black_**

Everything was nothing, and black was everything.

At least that's how it seemed to Riku in this cold, quiet place where nothing could be seen or heard; the only thing Riku could make sense of was the stench. It was overwhelming, the smell of darkness that radiated here, even more powerful than the acrid stench that wafted from Ansem's presence. Here, where the black went on forever and there was no light to be found, Riku wondered where he was, and just how far he'd fallen into darkness this time.

Was he still in his body, sharing the space with Ansem? Had he lost his heart when he used everything he had left to give Kairi and Sora's companions enough time to run? Where was Sora? Was he alive? Would he ever see them again? Would he ever see Cloud again, and if he didn't, would Cloud ever know what had happened? Would it just seem like Riku disappeared forever? Was Riku even alive?

It was through these series of questions that Riku realized he could call Cloud's face to memory, and not just Cloud's, but Sora's and Kairi's, too. He could picture Destiny Islands, his favorite paopu tree, and the faces of his family. Everything was clear again, at least in his own mind, here where the black went on forever. He couldn't be in his own body anymore—those memories were stolen from him the longer Ansem controlled his limbs, voice, and mind.

The victory—the joy—that accompanied the realization shattered. Where was he? Kairi was awake. Sora was gone. The last time he saw Sora, he had picked up that dark Keyblade with intention of freeing Kairi's heart. Now, when his thoughts weren't corrupted and hazy, overrun with darkness, the pieces fit together with ease. He wished they wouldn't.

Sora was dead; he had to be. Kairi's heart was within him, and Sora freed it by unlocking his own heart, and probably destroyed that fake Keyblade in the process. The only way he couldn't be dead after a move like that . . . it was something Riku didn't want to think about. Sora would be like him, lost in the darkness, heart stolen. Riku wondered if, somewhere, he and Sora both had Heartless versions of themselves, running around, waiting to be killed.

Through all these questions, he took a few steps forward. It was hard to move—like walking through waist-deep water that fought every step. He didn't know where he was going, and even if he had a destination in mind, he had no idea where he was. He couldn't see ahead or behind, here in the black, absent of light and color, but the steps he took reassured that he was somewhere—whether alive or dead. It didn't matter now.

It was better to be here than anywhere else. He destroyed everything—Destiny Islands, led Sora and Kairi right into Ansem's trap, and look at what he'd done with Cloud. He loved him, allowed himself to be loved, but took every opportunity to talk about himself and everything that was going wrong with him. He expressed his fears, and Cloud was perfect, patient . . . and look at how he was repaid. Riku left him with a promise to call after a lengthy conversation about how he was ordered to kill Sora and had taken the Keyblade.

Look at what he'd done to Sora and Kairi. They could be dead for all he knew, destroyed by Ansem, and that was _his_ fault.

"Sora . . . Kairi . . . I'm sorry . . ." said Riku. It was a relief to hear his own voice, but it floated away into the darkness. Riku shivered. "Is this the world of death?"

Riku took a few more steps, and with each movement, more desperation washed over him. He felt a tug, a pull, and Riku fought against it as he was bathed in light. He had to be alive, existing in some form, and that tug . . . he wouldn't give in. He ruined things, but that didn't mean he couldn't set them right.

"No . . . I can't disappear yet. Not until I've met Sora and Kairi one last time . . ."

"Riku, can you hear me? I'll be there soon."

He snapped up. It was a voice Riku didn't recognize, high-pitched, and Riku looked around. He thought he was here alone.

"Who's there?" Through the stench, a warm, familiar light filled his heart. Riku recognized it instantly. "Another Keyblade . . ."

"I've gotten the Keyblade for this side. I've been talking to you all along, but my words were hindered by the darkness covering your heart."

Riku hung his head. He didn't know who this voice belonged to, but the warmth of the light and the hope of the Keyblade pushed aside his anxiety. This was not someone to fear; this was someone who could help.

"I don't know who you are, but—what's happened to me?"

"Your heart has overcome the darkness, but you couldn't take back your body. So only your heart was left behind in this dark side where stolen hearts are gathered."

His heart had _overcome_ the darkness? The desperation faded.

"What should I do?"

"The door of darkness that is soon going to appear . . . In order to close it, two keys and two hearts are needed. Perhaps you, too, like me, came here for that purpose. Maybe it was fate."

"Fate . . . You know everything, don't you? If that's so, I want you to tell me one more thing . . . Are Sora and Kairi safe?"

"You should be able to feel their hearts. How you perceive your friends . . . depends on your own heart."

Riku closed his eyes and visualized Sora running toward him. Sora was, somehow, alive. He smiled, relief washing over him.

"Thank you."

----------0--------

Riku didn't know how long he waited. The voice said the door to darkness would appear soon, but it felt like years. Time and space seemed to go on forever like the black and nothingness. He didn't know how long he was here—months, weeks, a year? Had his sixteenth birthday already come and gone? Would he ever escape this place?

Riku assumed that he would not. From what the voice said—that warm voice that spoke truth, honesty, and failed to give him the chills he often felt speaking with Maleficent and Ansem—two hearts and two keys were needed to close the door. The door needed to be closed. Riku hung his head.

Sora would be here. Sora would arrive—alive and well—with his Keyblade, and the door would shut. To close it, though, Riku would need to help, and the voice said he'd bring the Keyblade for their side. He would have to stay behind the door and be strong; weakness in his heart wouldn't be enough to close the door to darkness.

Things could work out, though. This was how it needed to be done. Riku could see Sora again one more time, and if he got the chance, he could apologize, and ask Sora to carry it back to Kairi. He could set things right by closing the door to darkness, and do his part to keep the Heartless from destroying worlds again. By staying in the dark, if it would help save the worlds, Riku would repent. The worlds, Sora, Kairi, Cloud . . . they could all be safe, and Riku would see to it that they were.

All Riku had to do was stay strong.

----------0---------

When the door to darkness did appear—impossibly tall and heavy—Riku panicked. The voice still wasn't here. It amazed him, though, to see that door, cracked open and allowing light to shine in. His eyes ached. His eyes . . .

"Ansem is defeated," said the voice. Riku turned, realizing it was no longer like moving through sludge. "Your body is yours again. Ansem has released his grip."

Riku felt the change, now that the voice mentioned it. He touched a hand to his chest. The darkness that surrounded him set in his heart again, not as large as before, but a trace of Ansem remained.

"Will he ever be gone?" said Riku.

"We have to close the door."

Riku glanced behind him, and his eyes fell upon . . . a mouse? A mouse in clothes. A mouse in clothes bearing a Keyblade.

Sora got a duck and a dog; Riku got a mouse.

"Who are you?"

"My name's King Mickey of Disney Castle," said the mouse. A mouse that wore clothes, carried a Keyblade, and was a king? "There will be more time for talking later. First, the door . . ."

Riku nodded. He looked across the sea of Heartless he never knew was there, though he should have with how dark it felt and smelled in here. He ran across them without stopping to worry about where he stepped or what they would do to him after the door closed.

"Come on!" a voice shouted from the other side of the door. Riku smiled and ran faster. Sora needed the help.

"Stop staring and keep pushing," said Donald. Riku caught sight of the duck as he glanced around the door. "Huh? Hurry!"

"I can't," said Sora.

Riku reached a hand around the door and looked through to the other side. Sora caught his eye.

"Don't give up!" said Riku. "Come on, Sora! Together, we can do it!"

Sora looked at him and nodded.

"Okay."

He pushed against the door on one side as Riku pulled from the other. It didn't budge, and Riku started the panic. The Heartless were coming, the darkness multiplying.

"It's hopeless," said Donald.

He and Goofy looked through the door again, and this time, a burst of light cut through the dark. Riku glanced back for a second to see King Mickey holding the Keyblade.

"Your majesty!" Donald and Goofy shouted.

"Now, Sora!" said King Mickey. "Let's close this door for good."

"Close it, quick," said Donald.

"But . . ." said Sora. He looked at Riku.

"Don't worry," said King Mickey. "There will always be a door to the light."

"Now!" said Riku. "They're coming."

"Donald, Goofy," said King Mickey, "thank you."

The door shifted under the weight and started to close. Through the crack, Riku caught Sora's eyes one last time.

"Take care of her," said Riku.

Sora nodded, and then the door shut. Riku leaned against it and watched as King Mickey lifted the Keyblade. He pointed it to the doors. They locked and disappeared. Riku fell to his knees, hung his head, and looked across the darkness, but he could no longer see King Mickey. The light was gone.

Sora was gone.

King Mickey said there was always a door to the light, but what if—

He may never see Sora again.

Cloud.

Kairi.

His family.

Would any of them ever know what had really happened? What it had been like? Sora knew where Riku went, but would he ever really know how he got here, or what it was like behind those doors? Would Cloud ever know what happened to him? Would he be missed? The desperation returned, but at least everyone would be safe now, and Riku had helped for a change.

"Don't worry," said King Mickey. "Your heart overcame the darkness. You can overcome this dark time, too."

Riku nodded and stared into black.

* * *

**_And that's that . . ._**

**_Response to reviewers in the next segment._**

**_I encourage feedback. Do not have the time or concentration to be witty right now._**


	22. Distraction and Pain

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 022. Family

**Word Count**: 2,043

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Anyone would have been distracted in the situation. Cloud thinks Leon is out of line; Leon thinks Cloud is a brat. That's what family is all about, isn't it?

**Disclaimer**: I don't know how to break this all to you, but I made this up. Seriously. The entire story thus far I just made up. It's all make-believe. I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I'm not affiliated with Disney or Square Enix. I took these characters because I liked them, put them together because they're hot, and made up a story about them. I'm just a fan writing fiction, and thus I dub this fanfiction, which will from here on out mean exactly what it implies. Just a fan writing fiction. Wait—doesn't that term already exist?

**Author's Note**: That was such an asinine disclaimer.

**The Real Author's Note**: This was a little brat for me to write, much like Cloud in this segment. He's all messed up right now, and as much as I rather enjoy it, Cloud does his best to elude me. Ah, well. I have a lot of time over the next few days to write so expect lots more soon.

* * *

**_Step Twenty-Two: Distraction and Pain_**

Sephiroth had a way about him that made someone believe darkness was the only way. Later in the evening, sitting in the hotel room one last time before departure to Hollow Bastion, Cloud surmised it must be because Sephiroth was made of darkness. More specifically, Sephiroth was made of Cloud's darkness. Cloud knew this, of course, and it was enough to explain the situation at hand. The only problem lay in Cloud's inability to remember that when faced with Sephiroth.

He hated Sephiroth. It was as simple as hatred could be—all consuming, blinding, and powerful. The name left a foul taste in his mouth. He lost all reasonable, coherent thought when they battled. Cloud was lucky if he made sense when he spoke of Sephiroth, because there weren't many people who understood what deep, pure hatred really felt like.

Fighting Sephiroth was always, as Tifa once put it, impressive yet uneventful. The crowd of Olympus Coliseum agreed with the statement as they cheered, shrieked, and covered their eyes through battle. When it was over, they left the stands with unreadable expressions on their faces. There were no long chats or gatherings outside the arena about the match. Even to Cloud it was anticlimactic.

Fights with Sephiroth contained a lot of parrying as they flew across the arena. Sephiroth attacked; Cloud blocked, took a step back, and launched an attack of his own. Sephiroth disappeared and reappeared across the arena. Cloud assessed the situation, flew across to him, and attacked. Sephiroth blocked, attempted the Descend Heartless Angel attack, which Cloud was sure to stop before it had a chance to manifest. Things continued this way, the patterns varying, but it was all the same. Sephiroth attacked; Cloud blocked. Cloud attacked; Sephiroth blocked. The most impressive part was that they moved around a lot.

After fifteen minutes of this, Cloud realized he failed to exploit any of his abilities. He mapped out strategies before fighting Sephiroth, but they never stuck. As usual, the hatred lost Cloud all reasonable thought, and he ran in swinging. When he did remember to exploit something, it was never light he remembered to use. He was more skilled in darkness, used it more often, and Sephiroth had a way of making someone think darkness was the only way.

The other competitors never got the chance to fight Sephiroth. Cloud killed him twenty-three minutes into the match.

"That takes care of that," said Yuffie, as they walked back to the hotel.

"He'll be back," said Cloud.

Aerith and Leon shook their heads. Yuffie frowned. They walked the rest of the way in silence.

----------0----------

"What happened?" said Leon.

Cloud tore his eyes away from Thebes. After the match, he sat on the balcony and was here ever since. Aerith peeked out once to say they were returning to Hollow Bastion the following day, but no one disturbed him since. Leon was starting to get on his nerves.

"I used the darkness," said Cloud.

"I thought you were past that."

Leon sat next to Cloud.

"I guess not."

"What happened?"

Cloud shrugged.

"Is this about Riku?" Leon turned his head toward Cloud. "It is, isn't it?"

Cloud sighed and stretched his arms over his head. He let his hands fall into his lap.

"I wasn't thinking. I used the darkness. Sephiroth is dead, but he'll be back. It's only a matter of time."

"You didn't think."

"I never think when I fight Sephiroth."

"You were distracted."

"I have a lot going on right now."

"Riku wouldn't have wanted—"

"Riku isn't dead. Don't talk about him like he is."

"You should have focused."

"Next time."

"You said that last time."

Cloud shrugged.

"It was too soon. Sephiroth took advantage of that."

"He showed up before Riku lost his heart. You were distracted."

"I messed up. I'll get him. I'm not giving up."

"Good. If you did, Riku may as well be dead. You can't do both, Cloud."

"I don't even know what you're talking about."

"You can't be in the relationship you want and still chase around Sephiroth. You need to finish it."

"I will."

"You could have today."

"There's still too much darkness in me."

Leon shook his head.

"No, there isn't. Sephiroth is empowered when you use the darkness against him. It's what lets him come back. There's light in you, Cloud."

"Leon . . ."

"Shut up and listen. You know there's light in you. You told me so not that long ago. Riku made you feel it, but now he's gone and you let yourself get distracted. You can't do that. The darkness didn't make him stronger, and it doesn't make you stronger, either. All it does is allow Sephiroth to return. You have to isolate the light in you and use that against him instead."

"I don't want to talk about this right now."

"No. You want to feel bad for yourself, and if that's all you're going to do, I'm not going to comfort you. You messed up. There isn't always going to be a next time, you know. When the next time does come, you better make sure it's the last one."

Cloud glared. Leon shrugged.

"It's up to you, Cloud, but we aren't going to all stand by while you waste your life away."

"You're acting like a real asshole, you know that?"

"So are you."

"Fuck you."

Leon stood up and walked toward the door.

"I don't care what you do, Cloud. Sit out here all night and wallow in your own misery. I don't care, but someone has to tell you truth. You're acting like a brat. Get your act together. You could have finished it this time, but you messed up. Do it next time. Don't just try; do it. I know you can."

"I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Suit yourself."

Leon disappeared into the hotel room.

-----------0----------

"Are you coming today?"

Cloud opened his eyes and stared into Aerith's. She was almost nose to nose with him, peering, and Cloud didn't want to deal with this right now. Thirty seconds ago, he was warm, asleep, and didn't have to think about or face reality. In such a haven where nothing was as horrible as things outside of it, Cloud escaped his failure, his loss, and the thoughts of Riku that never left him. The last thing he wanted to face when pulled from the fantasy was inquisitive eyes. Cloud groaned.

"Wha—?"

"Are you coming today?" said Aerith. "Yuffie, Leon, and I are going to Hollow Bastion to start making plans for a restoration. They're both already down at our Gummi ship. I wanted to know if you were coming today."

"I have my own Gummi ship."

"I know, but I wondered if you still planned on returning today. I didn't know if you'd want to after . . ."

"After failing against Sephiroth?"

"Hmmm . . ." said Aerith. "No. After whatever happened with your boyfriend." Cloud looked to her, frowning. "Leon told me."

"What did he tell you?"

"That you were off yesterday because you just found out some disturbing news about your boyfriend. That you couldn't concentrate."

"Leon had suddenly found an interest in talking."

"Talking to you that is. Leon still doesn't say much to anyone else."

"I wish he'd stop."

"I'm glad. He's more like the old Leon."

"More like Squall, you mean."

Aerith nodded.

"I'm glad that you two are talking more. He's really happy about this chance to rebuild Hollow Bastion. You know how he feels about what happened there . . ."

"That's stupid, though. It wasn't his fault."

"No. It wasn't. But he feels responsible. He used to be . . . well, Leon was never very talkative, but he was warmer. Kinder. Unless the two of you were together, because then he talked a lot. You did, too. You used to be so close, and over the years I've seen you drift apart. I think he's warming up a little, though, ever since you opened up to him about your boyfriend. I think it makes him feel like he still has a family in you—that he hasn't lost everything."

"If it makes him so happy, he should stop acting like such an asshole. You should have heard him yesterday."

"He understands what happened. I know he may seem callous, but . . . think of it as a Leon way of telling you things will get better."

"He should just say that.

"He doesn't want to see you beat yourself up over what happened with Sephiroth. He said you're really in love with your boyfriend, and that things went very badly for him. Anyone in your position would have been distracted. For you, it just happened at the worst time."

Cloud nodded and turned away.

"I understand that you don't want to talk about it just yet," said Aerith. "When you do, though, I'm here, too."

----------0----------

Aerith had a way about her that made Cloud think she read his thoughts. She always had words of wisdom and advice to bestow. It was never much, but always what he needed to hear.

For so long he avoided thinking of Aerith, Yuffie, Tifa, Cid, and Leon as a family. Families were bound together because they had to be, but friends, Cloud realized, didn't articulate what they meant to him. From what Aerith placed in his head, it didn't articulate what he meant to them, either. Maybe a family—a true family that loved each other no matter what—was exactly what they'd become.

It felt like closing a chapter to a happier time in his life when Cloud handed over the key to the hotel room. He boarded the Gummi ship and set it on autopilot for Hollow Bastion. His thoughts drifted to the empty chair beside him and the vacated room back in Thebes. One day he would tell Aerith everything there was to tell about Riku, but whether that day was sooner or later, Cloud wasn't sure. All he knew was that when he did tell her, she would say exactly what he needed to hear.

Cloud sat back in his chair and sighed. He would get Sephiroth next time. Next time, it would be the last time. Leon was right: Cloud knew there was some light left in him, and he couldn't just sit around and feel bad about everything that happened. For now, he would return to Hollow Bastion, and help in the repairs. Sephiroth would fall into place when it should. As for Riku, Cloud didn't know what to do. Riku wouldn't want him to sit around and mourn. Instead, he'd keep busy, keep Riku in his prayers, and believe. Faith was all he could spare.

When he landed in Hollow Bastion, his heart tightened. The streets he walked to the castle once reminded him of his youth with the friend he now called family. Now they reminded him of Riku. If that hadn't been bad enough, the castle itself was torture. This was where, Cloud thought, Riku was the last time he called—the last time he had a heart, a voice, a body, and the ability to convey his emotions. Cloud felt his stomach churn.

He found Aerith, Yuffie, Cid, and Leon in the library. Aerith peered at him before breaking into a smile.

"You came," she said.

Cloud looked to the ground. This was where Riku was when he lost his heart, here in this castle, alone, having lost his best friend for good. It was only a little over a week, Cloud thought, that Riku walked these halls, stood in these rooms, and Cloud hadn't been here for him. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath.

Cloud's head snapped up as a soft hand rested on his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," said Leon. "He's going to be okay."

"I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Do you want to go down to the river?"

Cloud shook his head. He tried to focus on breathing. The river, this castle, the roads—Riku permeated throughout Hollow Bastion with no escape.

"Let's just start fixing this place up, huh?" said Cloud.

Leon nodded.

* * *

**_Holy cow, where did all those reviewers come from? If it keeps up like this, I will have to respond to reviewers every chapter!_**

**_Not that I'm complaining about that. It's pretty sweet, really. Maybe now there will be more CloudxRiku stories, fanart, and a community that I am already thinking about starting._**

**_Heh. Really out to take over, I tell ya . . ._**

**_::Hint Hint:: Wow it would be nice if there was CloudxRiku stories for me to read and fanart for me to smile at. ::Hint Hint::_**

**_Okay, enough of that. Responses to reviewers (there are so many of you!):_**

**Resa: **Sorry about the Cloud/Sephiroth outcome. Heh. I can't tell you whether or not they will have a happy ending. Well, I can, but I won't for another 78 chapters. Heh. Not that I already know or anything. ::twiddles thumbs:: There is a real beauty in the simplicity of knowing that a story will end exactly the way you want it to.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: Sorry that there isn't more positive news other than you don't have to worry about sad endings for another 78 chapters. I'm also sorry I killed your heart. I do hope you didn't have to be hospitalized.

**Deaths private dancer**: Yep. I'm keeping with the plot from here through CoM and KHII. I'm glad you have patience. You'll need it waiting for 78 chapters, though they come pretty often so I don't know how the long the wait will actually be. Then again, they come so often because, unlike you, I wasn't gifted with patience.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: I update fast because I have a lot to write, and I don't want to drag this on for years. I have more story ideas to write, and I can only do one series at a time. Gets too confusing otherwise. That and it's a challenge. This story is really important to me. I doubt I'd abandon it any time soon.

**Tears of Darkness**: Yeah, well, I had Riku so perplexed by Donald and Goofy, I figured that when Mickey showed up, Riku might be like, "Hey, sure. Why not?" That and it's the only way I can imagine it would be if all of a sudden I found myself talking to a royalty mouse wearing clothes, talking, and carrying a Keyblade.

**Koji Inari**: Oh, I don't think I could lose interest in this story even if I wanted to. It seems pretty important to the Riku muse in my head, and I'd hate to disappoint him. I'm glad you think it keeps getting sadder and sadder but better and better. I think so, too.

**darktenshi17**: There are so few CloudxRiku stories that I'm taking over. Mwa ha ha. Anyway, don't feel bad about reading and not reviewing. I understand. I do it all the time.

**blacknights27**: Thank you for the comments on my characterization of the characters. I love CloudxRiku, too. I wish there were more. I suppose I'll just have to write it.

**Futile Faith**: I was over in the JC Chasez/Justin Timberlake communtiy from 2001 to 2002, the Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy community from 2002 to 2003, and the Draco Malfoy/Ron Weasley community from 2003 to 2004. Then I took a two year hiatus. So that's where I've been for some years of your life. It is a damn shame there isn't more CloudxRiku. I think when I finish this story I will start a livejournal community for them, create an army, write many more stories, and make people join me in my quest to make CloudxRiku a pairing that you can actually find fic (and fanart!) for.

**Mangled Euphoria**: I didn't cry at the end of Kingdom Hearts 1, but since everyone I know has played it since (::sarcasm:: I had nothing to do with this ::end sarcasm::), I see the game a lot. And I find myself talking to Riku, trying to change the outcome of things, but alas, I just can't make him listen. I really wanted to stay word for word to the game. The whole idea behind this was allowing Riku to tell his side of the story, and this is what came out. I was so into writing the last part that when they sealed the Keyhole to the door and everything, Simple and Clean started playing in my head. It was enjoyable. Anyway, don't worry about me losing interest. I love this story like I love my cat. Letting Riku say what he needs to say is important to me (because, yes, I feel that Riku is more in the driver's seat than I am).

**someone**: Thank you for your very sweet compliments. They made me smile.

**_So thank you to everyone who reviewed. I was shocked and very pleased._**

**_I encourage feedback like I encourage playing Kingdom Hearts. I will respond to all reviews in an upcoming chapter. Promise._**


	23. Memories

**Title**: Memories

**Fandom**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 023. Sunset

**Word Count**: 6,372

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: "Your heart only knows how to throw things away." Cloud once said that Riku reminded him of the stars.

**Disclaimer**: I still don't own any of this Kingdom Hearts stuff. It would be a nice gift, sure, but no one seems to want to shell out the money it would take for me to own this stuff. So, sorry, I made up all of this (except for the parts I stole from the games, but hey, I'm staying true to the original masterpiece). So I guess I should also say all this dialogue isn't mine, either. Neither is some of the plot. Blagh.

**Author's Note**: Okay, so I got to this prompt and wondered for a few days how I was to use the prompt "sunset" in the Chain of Memories/Castle Oblivion setting, so I used a metaphor. This is my feeble attempt. I hope you all enjoy. It is rather long, though. I'm not sure how that happened.

* * *

**_Step Twenty-Three: Memories_**

Riku leaned forward and stared at his father with wide, aqua eyes. He slashed through the air, the long sword mastered by large, calloused hands. Riku looked down at his own, stubby little fingers, and then to his mother.

"Momma, do you think I'll ever fight as good as Daddy?"

"No one can fight as good as Daddy," said the little girl sitting on Riku's other side. She tucked long, silver stands behind her ear.

"Ayumi," said Mrs. Asaki, "Riku can do whatever he wants to do."

Riku stuck his tongue out at Ayumi. She rolled her eyes.

"Really, Momma?"

"We'll talk to Daddy tomorrow about teaching you to fight."

Riku nodded and returned his attention to the competition.

----------0----------

Riku was bored. It was a hot day on the Islands, and Riku was disappointed. What started off as a grand adventure into the spooky cave by the waterfall turned out to be nothing. None of other kids dared to venture in this darkened area, but now that he and Sora were here, it wasn't creepy at all. In fact, it was nice and cool, probably the best place on the Islands to beat the excruciating heat. The walls, Riku observed, might be good for chalk drawings, too. Still, he expected more than a little path and an open room containing a door that wouldn't open.

Everything was like that on the islands, and even the eight-year old boy felt stifled. Adventures just weren't as exciting as they used to be. He and Sora explored everything they could now—this cave was the last. There was nothing left but boredom.

"Hey, Sora?" said Riku.

"Hm?"

"When we grow up, let's get off this island. We'll go on real adventures, not this kid stuff!"

Sora nodded.

"Sure. But isn't there anything fun to do now?"

They walked toward the hole that would lead back to the beach.

"Hey," said Sora, "you know the new girl at the mayor's house? She arrived on the night of the meteor shower!"

Riku paused; a sense of loss overwhelmed him. He turned to look at the door in the wall. Doors didn't belong in stone. One day, Riku would find a way to open it, but for now, he turned back to Sora.

"Yeah," he said. "She's in your year at school, right? What's her name? Kairi?"

Sora nodded.

----------0----------

Riku listened as Sora asked Kairi for the thousandth time where she moved to Destiny Islands from, but Kairi's answer was always the same. She didn't remember. Riku wondered how that could happen. At seven years old upon moving, she should remember something. Instead, she had no recollection. Sure, Riku was only twelve, but he wasn't an idiot.

The ocean waves ebbed in, covered Riku's feet, and splashed his exposed legs. As the water rushed out, sand rushed with it, swirling in the water and collecting between Riku's toes. The hot sunlight beat down upon his naked shoulders, but Riku didn't close his eyes and turn his face to the light as he so often used to do. He stared, his eyes fixated at the endless expanse of ocean.

"I bet her home is somewhere out there," said Riku.

"Where?" said Sora.

"Past the ocean. Someone off these Islands."

Sora's eyes brightened, and he, too, looked across the waters.

"Really? You think?"

"Gotta be."

"Wish I could see it."

"You will."

"How do you know?"

"Cause I'm not staying on this rock forever, and I won't just leave you behind. We'll all go together."

"And see the world?" said Sora. "All three of us?"

"Yeah, sure."

"You really think there's other worlds out there?" said Kairi. She looked past Sora to Riku.

Riku nodded.

----------0----------

Riku leaned into the touch of small, slender fingers as they raked through his hair, rubbing at his scalp. He looked out the window at the night sky and smiled at the stars. The window was cracked open, allowing a light ocean breeze to filter in, carrying the light, salty air of the sea.

"I hate this place."

"What's so bad about it?"

Riku looked up, catching aqua eyes so much like his own. He smiled as she tucked a strand of silver hair behind her ear.

"Come on, Ayumi. Do I really need to answer that?"

Ayumi brushed her fingers through her brother's hair, and he shifted his head in her lap, allowing her to reach the other side.

"It's not you or anything. I just . . . I've seen everything. I've been everywhere."

"Everyone knows you."

Riku sighed.

"Yeah."

"It's a small town."

"It's a small island."

"Same thing."

"No, it's not. I mean, at least in a small town you can, I don't know, leave it? Meet different people. Go shopping in the bigger cities. Here . . . everyone knows everyone, and . . ."

"And all we have are our ocean friends to keep us company otherwise?"

"Exactly. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up."

"You're fourteen, sweetie. Hold out a few more years, and then you'll be done with school and can go to college wherever you want. Off the Islands."

"I think Sora likes Kairi."

Ayumi frowned.

"Four more years."

"I don't want to go to school tomorrow."

"High school isn't like junior high, you know?"

"That's what I'm worried about."

"Riku . . ."

"What am I supposed to do without Sora and Kairi?"

"I'll be there."

"No offense, Ayumi, but hanging out with your big sister isn't exactly cool."

"And neither are you, so it works."

Riku rolled his eyes and grunted.

"Did you hear what I said about Sora liking Kairi?"

"I'm not deaf."

"Well?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know . . ."

"You'll find someone. Just because Sora's straight doesn't mean that there isn't a perfectly nice, fun, sexy ass queer boy out there for you somewhere."

Riku laughed.

"Yeah, and I bet he isn't on the Islands."

Ayumi, too, laughed.

"Right, because that's why you're so compelled to leave. Deep down inside, you know your one true love is someone far away from the Islands, and you're honing in on that in a desperate attempt to get laid before you die."

"It would be sad to die a virgin."

Ayumi rolled her eyes.

"Riku, you're smart, funny, great company, a good conversationalist, and hot. What makes you think you'll die a virgin?"

"I love how you said I'm hot considering everyone says we look alike."

"I'm hot. What can I say?"

Riku laughed.

"You forgot to mention I'm gay. If I wanted a girl, this would be easier."

"So you got blessed in every other aspect. You've never had a real challenge in your life. You had to have something that would make things harder on you. Otherwise, you'd be insufferable and arrogant."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

----------0----------

Riku stood in front of his favorite paopu tree, watching the sunset.

"So, Kairi's home is out there somewhere, right?" said Sora.

"Could be," said Riku. "We'll never know by staying here."

"But how far could a raft take us?"

"Who knows? If we have to, we'll think of something else."

"So, suppose you get to another world," said Kairi. She giggled. "What would you do there?"

Riku paused, considering his answer.

"Well, I haven't really thought about it. It's just . . . I've always wondered why we're here on this island. If there are any other worlds out there, why did we end up on this one? And suppose there are other worlds . . . Then ours is just a little piece of something much greater. So we could have just as easily ended up somewhere else, right?"

"I don't know," said Sora.

"Exactly. That's why we need to go out there and find out. Just sitting here won't change a thing. It's the same old stuff. So let's go."

"You've been thinking a lot lately, haven't you?"

"Thanks to you. If you hadn't come here, I probably would've never thought of any of this. Kairi, thanks."

"Heh. You're welcome."

----------0----------

"Mom," said Ayumi, standing from the kitchen table. "You aren't actually going to let him try to sail across the ocean on that stupid raft!"

"You should know your brother as well as I do," said Mrs. Asaki. "When Riku has his mind made up, there's no stopping him."

Riku smirked at Ayumi.

"A raft, Mom. It isn't going to work. He's going to get hurt, or drowned, or shipwrecked. Not that it's really a ship. Raftwrecked. That's what's going to happen." She laughed and turned toward Riku. "I mean, really. A raft?"

"Yes. I'm leaving here and going to see other worlds. And Kairi and Sora are coming with me."

"If you die, don't say I didn't warn you."

"Better than being here."

"Riku," said Mrs. Asaki.

She turned from the kitchen counter, leaving the breakfast preparations. Riku paused in the doorway and allowed his eyes to close as his mother wrapped her arms around him. She placed a kiss to his cheekbone, stepped back, and smoothed his hair.

"Be careful, baby. Make sure you visit your dear, old mother."

"He's going to get himself killed," said Ayumi.

"Ayumi . . ." Mrs. Asaki turned to Ayumi and shook her head. "He needs to do this for him."

Ayumi sighed.

"You said that when he started hanging out with those high school boys, too, and look how that turned out."

"I'm a high school boy," said Riku.

"And a smoker," said Ayumi. "And drunk for half the weekend. It isn't you."

"I don't appreciate you telling me who I am. I _like_ smoking."

"You're better than that."

"Better than smoking?" said Riku. He laughed.

"No. Better than staying out all hours of the night getting toasted so you can forget who you really are."

"Then maybe it's better I leave."

"Maybe it is."

----------0----------

"You know, Riku's changed," said Kairi.

Riku took a step away from the dock. Sora and Kairi obviously didn't know he was still on the island, or within earshot.

"What do you mean?" said Sora.

"Well . . . Hmm . . ."

"You okay?"

"Sora, let's take the raft and go—just the two of us!"

"Huh?"

Kairi giggled.

"Just kidding."

"What's gotten into you? You're the one that's changed, Kairi."

"Maybe . . . You know, I was a little afraid at first, but now I'm ready. No matter where I go or what I see, I know I can always come back here, right?"

Riku took another step back, slipped off his shoes, and walked soundlessly to the secret place. He slumped against the wall. He sat there for hours, long after it grew dark and his mother would start to worry. Kairi's and Sora's words replayed in his mind.

"It isn't fair, is it?"

Riku turned.

"Who's there?"

"After everything you've done for all the people you love, after all their promises to love you and support you no matter what, they fail to support you in your decision to leave. Even your friends have turned their backs on you."

"Kairi was just kidding."

"There is another way to travel to other worlds—one that is guaranteed to work."

"Who are you?"

A figure, hazy and transparent, appeared, dressed in a plain, brown robe.

"A research scientist from another world. I cannot completely travel to yours. The door is still shut."

"The door," said Riku. His eyes fell on the door in the back of the secret place. "That door . . ."

"Leads to other worlds, yes."

"But it won't open."

"Opening the door takes a special key. Will you bear it?"

"Wait, let me get this straight . . . you're a scientist, and if I open the door, I can go see other worlds?"

"Yes, that's right."

"I don't get it."

"I study the other worlds and pathways between them. Every world has a door like this one, sealed, preventing the paths to open. Only a special person with a very strong heart can open the door, but even then he needs a special key. Will you bear it?"

Something about this conversation seemed off, but anger and desperation built within him. Sora didn't believe the raft would work. Kairi looked at him as if he would explode any second if she mentioned what she really thought about going to see other worlds; she was content on the Islands. His mother didn't ever bother to try and keep him here. Ayumi knew how important leaving the Islands was to him, and all she did was insult him, and laugh in his face.

Riku nodded.

"Can Kairi and Sora come?"

"Of course."

"Tell me how to open the door."

A large sword-like key appeared in Riku's hands. He directed it toward the door. It swung open, and with it, a sense of triumph rang through Riku. Then the storm came, and thousands of black creatures spread across the secret place. The triumph faded. The key disappeared from his hands.

Riku ran from the secret place out onto the island. There was no rain, but the wind was fierce and howling. Riku grew up on the Islands, was here his entire life, and had never seen a storm such as this. His heart ached.

What had he just done?

Riku took a deep breath. What did it matter? So the Islands would be ravaged. All he had to do was get Sora and Kairi, and they could all leave for the other worlds. These other people—who would judge and look down upon him if they really knew him—didn't matter. The anger spread again. It served them right if their precious little island with all its bigotry was destroyed.

Riku passed through the shack and across the bridge. He sat on the paopu tree and looked at everything that surrounded him. The electricity in the air made his skin prickle. Out in the distance, Riku saw a small boat rowing toward the dock, and in it sat Sora. Riku had a feeling he'd come, worried about the raft in the storm. Riku smiled. Everyone was right; the raft was useless, but he found another way, and whatever happened to the Islands was no longer his concern.

----------0----------

Riku woke to cold stone beneath his face and gloved hands. Waterfalls rushed in cascades around him. He pushed his body up and stood. Riku swayed; his head felt dizzy as he looked around, his vision blurred.

"Where am I?"

As his vision cleared, he turned and looked around, eyes widening. Was this . . . another world? Platforms of ice rose to a large castle in the distance, and as he took this all in, he realized he was alone. What last happened? There was a door, and a man . . . who said Kairi and Sora would leave with him. There was a storm . . .

"Sora! Kairi!"

Riku hung his head. The Islands, his friends . . . what happened? Was everyone okay? As Riku pondered, fear settling in his heart, a figure came up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. Riku turned to face a tall woman in black with horns upon her head and green skin.

Was this what people looked like in other worlds?

"Are you lost?" said the woman.

"My friends . . . I don't know where they are. There was a storm, and these black creatures."

"Heartless," she said. "Your home must have fallen to the darkness."

"The darkness?"

"Why don't you come inside? Surely you don't want to stay out here."

"Can you help me?"

"I don't know yet, but maybe."

"I'm Riku."

"Maleficent."

----------0----------

"High on the food chain, aren't you?"

Riku spun around, looking back to the spiky-haired blond man that exited the room.

"Name's Cloud. You?"

"I'm sorry," said Riku. "Riku."

"So what are you doing here?"

"Maleficent . . . she's supposed to help me find someone. If I get the princesses . . ."

"What's this princess business about, anyway?"

"I honestly don't know." Riku paused, watching Cloud as he leaned against the wall. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Hades. I'm supposed to take out Hercules."

"Who's that?"

"Don't know. All I gather from Hades is that he's bothersome."

Riku nodded.

"Why are you working for him?"

"I'm looking for someone, too." Cloud brought a hand to his neck, slowly rubbing at his collarbone. Eyes shut, his head fell back against the wall. Riku stared. "This falling into darkness isn't all it's made out to be, is it?"

Riku stared at Cloud, watching his fingers move across his skin. He licked his lips and stared at the ground.

"I just want to find my friend."

Cloud nodded.

"Be careful. The darkness is a nasty business. Don't lose sight of the light."

There was no time to respond. The door down the hall flung open and Hades stormed out.

"Cloud," he snapped. "We're leaving."

Cloud nodded to Hades and used one foot to push away from the wall. He turned to Riku and smiled.

"Nice talking to you, Riku."

----------0----------

Sora stood before him flanked by what looked like an oversized duck and what was possibly an oversized dog walking on its hind legs. They were both clothed.

"There you are," said Riku, smiling. "What's going on?"

"Riku!" Sora said. He ran up to Riku and pinched his cheeks.

"Hey, hey, cut it out!" He pushed Sora away.

"I'm not dreaming this time, right?"

"I hope not. Took forever to find you."

"Riku!" said Sora, laughing. "Wait a second, where's Kairi?"

Riku frowned.

"Isn't she with you?" said Riku. "Well, don't worry. I'm sure she made if off the island, too. We're finally free. Hey, she might even be looking for us now. We'll all be together again soon. Don't worry. Just leave everything to me. I know this—"

The sound of a defeated Heartless cut through his ears and Riku turned to see Sora, Keyblade drawn. Sora smirked and stood.

"Leave it to who?"

"Sora, what did you—"

"I've been looking for you and Kairi, too, with their help."

Sora motioned to the duck and dog-thing. They nodded.

"But who are they?" said Riku.

"Ahem," said the duck-thing. "My name is—"

"We've visited so many places and worlds looking for you."

"Really?" said Riku. "Well, what do you know? I never would have guessed."

"Oh, and guess what?" said the dog-thing. "Sora's the Keyblade master."

"Who would've thought it?" said the duck-thing.

"What's that mean?" snapped Sora, practically lunging at his new friend.

Riku picked up the weapon.

"So, this is called a Keyblade?" said Riku, holding it up and turning it over.

"Huh? Hey, give it back," Sora snapped. Riku blinked.

He backed away, eyeing it for a moment.

"Catch," he said, and tossed it back to Sora.

"Whoa."

Sora caught it in his clumsy hands, almost dropping it. Riku smirked.

"Okay," said Sora, "so you're coming with us, right? We've got this awesome rocket. Wait 'til you see it."

Riku opened his mouth to say he hadn't decided what he'd be doing yet, but the duck-thing cut him off.

"No, he can't come."

"What?" said Sora.

"Forget it!"

"Oh, come on! He's my friend!"

"I don't care."

Riku walked to the back of the Third District, sat, and pressed his back against the wall there.

"Huh? He's gone," Riku heard the dog-thing say over the bickering.

"Riku?" said Sora. "Nice going. Oh well, at least he's okay. And who knows? Maybe we'll run into Kairi soon, too."

He heard their footsteps fade away and Riku dropped his head into his lap.

----------0----------

"You okay?"

Cloud looked up and burst into laughter.

"Take that stupid thing off."

Riku pulled off the cape, dropped it to the side, and kneeled in front of Cloud.

"He beat the crap out of you."

"It's not that bad."

"You weren't even walking right."

"Guess I lost, huh? I never even got to take on Hercules. Leon and Yuffie made it to the end, you know? Should've known. Sora beat them, too."

"Who cares about that? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. You should head back to the hotel, though. Tournament'll be over soon, and I'm gonna have to talk to Sora or it'll look suspicious. You don't want him to see you here."

Riku glanced through the open doorway at the path leading back into Thebes and the hotel.

"Not yet. I want to make sure you're okay."

"What if Sora sees you?"

"Who cares?"

Cloud looked up at Riku and smiled. It felt as if Riku's heart had jumped to his throat.

"I'm going to be okay. The potion will take care of the bad wounds. I'll be fine in a half hour, limp gone and everything. Don't worry. I'll be well enough to not go easy on you tonight."

Riku twisted his lips into a half-smile, his eyes narrowed, and he tapped Cloud's arm with his fist.

"Ouch," said Cloud.

"Sorry," said Riku, laughing.

"Bastard. You're worried about me being okay and then you hit me?"

"I was playing."

"You play mean. Way to kick a guy when he's down. Literally."

"I didn't kick you, you melodramatic crybaby."

"Fuck off. I am not a crybaby."

"You looked hot out there."

"Nah. Pretty comfortable, actually. I mean, I worked up a bit of a sweat fighting, but you know how it goes . . ."

"Not like that, you jackass. You looked sexy."

"I knew what you meant. I just wanted you to say it again."

"Fucker."

"You really thought I looked hot?"

"Yeah."

"Glad you thought so. Now go back to the hotel like a good boy before Sora sees you and all hell breaks loose."

"Okay."

Cloud leaned forward and pressed his lips to Riku's. Riku didn't know if it was normal or not, but he never thought Cloud's kisses would stop making his heart pull tight. Cloud brushed his fingertips behind Riku's ear and trailed them down along his neck.

"Was that my preview for tonight?"

"No. That was just because I love you."

----------0----------

The door shifted under the weight and started to close. Through the crack, Riku caught Sora's eyes one last time.

"Take care of her," said Riku.

Sora nodded, and then the door shut. Riku leaned against it and watched as King Mickey lifted the Keyblade. He pointed it to the doors. They locked and disappeared. Riku fell to his knees, hung his head, and looked across the darkness, but he could no longer see King Mickey. The light was gone.

Sora was gone.

King Mickey said there was always a door to the light, but what if—

He may never see Sora again.

Cloud.

Kairi.

His family.

Would any of them ever know what had really happened? What it had been like? Sora knew where Riku went, but would he ever really know how he got here, or what it was like behind those doors? Would Cloud ever know what happened to him? Would he be missed? The desperation returned, but at least everyone would be safe now, and Riku had helped for a change.

"Don't worry," said King Mickey. "Your heart overcame the darkness. You can overcome this dark time, too."

Riku nodded and stared into black.

----------0----------

Riku spent a lot of time on Destiny Islands watching the sunset, whether it was from his favorite paopu tree or from the large window in the kitchen at the Asaki house that overlooked the beach. As a sunset fades from light to darkness, Riku faded from a bright-eyed, curious child into the darkened black where his heart remained hidden from the world.

When he opened his eyes again, there was nothing but haze. A chill ran down his back, and Riku held a hand to his head. The fog clouded his eyes—made his head swim. Riku groaned and sat up.

"Where am I?"

"Sleep."

Riku stood up at the voice and glared. It wasn't Ansem's voice, but Riku had enough of mysterious voices to last him a lifetime.

"Who's there?"

"Sleep. Here between light and dark."

"Between . . . what?" Riku's eyes widened. "The king! Where's the king? Together we closed the door to darkness, and after that . . ." Riku's groan was almost a scream. "Why can't I remember?"

"Your king is far away. Sleep, and leave the war with darkness in his hands. The thorny light of awakening will bring only anguish to one in your state. Turn from the light. Shut your eyes."

Arrogance swelled in Riku's heart like he hadn't felt since before he opened the door to Destiny Islands.

"You talk like I'm some kind of demon of the dark."

"Can you face the truth?"

Riku frowned. He knew the truth. As he opened his mouth to snap a retort, a glowing purple orb descended before him. Within the orb was something Riku couldn't quite make out before it started to circle him. Riku trailed it with his eyes.

"Here," the voice continued, "blanketed by the darkness, sleep is safety. Sleep is eternal."

"Is this . . . a card?"

"It is a door to the truth. Take it, and your sleep ends. Take it, and take the first step toward the truth. But know this: The truth will bring you pain. Will you still go?"

The orb stopped circling. Riku stepped toward it.

"There can be no returning to the sweet security of sleep," said the voice.

Riku took another step. The card dropped from the orb into his hand.

"Yeah, well . . . Seems like a boring place to take a nap anyway," said Riku. He smirked.

"Well said, Riku."

There was a burst of light, and as the haze cleared, Riku's surroundings came into sight. He was in a hallway with white marble walls, a while marble floor . . . everything was white. There was not a trace of color in this place save for the two wooden doors ahead, flanked by white pillars. A short, white staircase led to the doors. On either side of the hallway, white roses in white flower pots decorated the walls and smaller, white pillars.

Riku smirked.

"A door to the truth, huh . . ."

Riku rolled his eyes and walked forward, up the stairs, and through the doors. What lay on the other side was more familiar than he would have liked. His heart tugged..

"This is Maleficent's castle! How'd I end up here? Someone must have brought me here while I was sleeping. But who?"

"What you see is not real," said the voice. Riku frowned. "It's the world of your memory."

"My memory?"

"The things you remember of Maleficent's castle from your time there. Those memories became a card, and that card made this world. The things you see—you've seen them all before, haven't you?"

"Yeah . . ." Riku looked around. "So what now? Am I supposed to learn something while I'm here? Maybe run into someone I know?"

Riku wasn't stupid. His mother read him _A Christmas Carol _every year since he was four years old. He didn't think he was so troubled, though, that the ghost of Christmas past would show up, or that so many months had passed since leaving Destiny Islands that it was Christmastime. He must have been wrong.

"Ordinarily . . . yes," said the voice. Riku frowned. "You would meet the people in your memories."

"Ordinarily? Hey, I'm asking you a question!" There was no answer. "Fine. But it'd better be you I run across next, Voice. I'm sick of talking to thin air."

A card bearing a key symbol appeared in his hand, and Riku ran off down the hallway until he came to a door.

----------0----------

Riku was disappointed to find he still had the Soul Eater, but it was necessary. He made his way through doors, rooms, and corridors. He used cards to advance into adjacent rooms. Heartless spawned across this place. Something was very wrong here

He came upon a door bearing the same key symbol on the gold card he received earlier and passed into the next room. Riku's breath caught in his throat.

"It's like he said—everything's the same just how I remember it. Even this room . . ."

"It must be nice being back in your old bedroom. Think of all the memories . . ."

Cloud came to mind, but where was he? If these worlds were made of his memories, where was Cloud? Where was Sora? Kairi? Maleficent and Ansem?

"You again," said Riku. "Sorry, but these memories I could do without. Maleficent gave me this room."

"So she did. And you lived here, tempted by the darkness she offered. You cast away your home, you friends, everything . . . But at least they gave you a nice room."

"Shut up."

Riku ran out of the room and his bedroom door disappeared. Another card appeared in his hand, this time bearing a simple heart.

Where was he? What kind of place took all your horrible memories and recreated them? Riku didn't want anything to do with the darkness anymore, and he wasn't tempted by it in the first place! He didn't want to cast away his friends or his family. It was all an accident—a horrible accident that he didn't realize was happening until it was too late.

Riku set off back down the hallway, looking for Cloud, Sora, Kairi . . . even Donald or Goofy would be a sight for sore eyes right now.

----------0----------

"No one here, either," said Riku, walking into a room after using the second gold card with the heart. "There's nothing but Heartless in this castle. Voice! I know you're watching—so explain this. Where are the people from my memories? Tell me!"

"Are you sure you want to see them?"

"Of course I do."

"But you cast them aside. To reach the outside world, you passed through the door to darkness. Behind you, you left family, friends, home—everything—all in pursuit of darkness."

"But I cast that aside, too!"

"Then what do you have to show for it? First your home, then the dark. Your heart only knows how to throw things away. It's empty, like that room. Like your memories. That's why no one is in the castle with you. Your heart is hollow except for the darkness you couldn't quite shake off."

"You're full of it! I rejected the darkness!"

The voice laughed.

"Did you really, now?"

A third gold card appeared in his hands. Riku huffed and ran from the room.

----------0----------

As Riku wandered Hollow Bastion, hacking Heartless, his thoughts wandered to the voice.

"Your heart only knows how to throw things away," said Riku.

King Mickey said his heart overcame the darkness. That's why he was behind the door, and helped close it to save the worlds. Was this his punishment? Was he still behind the door? Was he doomed to wander the halls of Hollow Bastion forever with no one but the Heartless for company?

Riku hung his head.

Was his heart really empty?

"Your heart only knows how to throw things away," said Riku.

----------0----------

He wasn't alone in the castle. There was the voice, for one, and then there was Maleficent.

"I knew you'd return, Riku," she said.

"Maleficent! You're alive?"

He thought Sora finished her off . . .

"You haven't been paying attention. I am but a figment of your memory."

Riku smirked. His memory was trying to school him. How quaint.

"Of all the people I could run into, it had to be you . . ."

"Who else? Your heart is steeped in darkness. You can only see people who exist in that same darkness—people like me."

"No . . ."

"Be grateful you have someone to keep you company. Your heart is empty. Were it not for the darkness in your heart . . . you would be completely alone."

"That's sounding pretty good right about now."

"Come, now. You once clung to me to sate your hunger for darkness. You want me here. Who else but I can give you the darkness you long for?"

"There was a time I did want you around. I surrendered my heart to the dark. But never again. You and your darkness have nothing to offer. All I did was lose myself . . . empty myself. I'm finished with all that. If I'm stuck seeing people like you, people of the dark . . . I'll take you out one by one."

"Then don't forget to take yourself out last. Because you, like me, are one of the dark."

"That fine with me. I turned to darkness because my heart was weak. I hate that weakness. It's like I'm my own enemy. And seeing people like you embrace the darkness just makes it worse!" Riku drew the Soul Eater. "Enough talk, Maleficent."

"So you hate the darkness enough to fight it. Oh, the agony you must feel! Let me end your pain, Riku—end it forever with the wondrous power of the darkness."

Maleficent burst into her dragon form, and Riku didn't hesitate to attack.

----------0----------

Riku moved farther along Hollow Bastion corridors, his breath still heavy from defeating Maleficent's copy. His mind raced. He couldn't see Sora or Kairi, but where was Cloud? He and Cloud were alike, both fallen from grace. Could he get to Olympus Coliseum from here? Maybe Cloud was there. Even if it was a copy, at least it was something.

Riku stumbled and held his side. Through his fringed bangs, he looked up and saw a door—a door that radiated light. Riku stumbled toward it and walked through. Everything was white. He was back in the white marble hallway. Had he gone backwards?

"Why do you shun the dark?"

"Oh, come on. I know you heard every word I said to Maleficent."

"Darkness is your weapon. I need you to accept it."

Riku paused. The voice . . . he did know that voice.

"What do you care?"

"Stop resisting and accept the darkness. You must . . . if you are to serve me again!"

Ansem appeared before him. Riku resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Ansem . . . just as I thought."

"You don't seem surprised."

"You always were chatty when it came to darkness. So let me guess . . . You want to pull me back into the darkness and play puppet master again . . . right?"

"Clever boy. You'll make a fine host. Now, surrender to me again and—"

Riku almost laughed at the combination of the word 'host' and Ansem's conversational tone.

"You're insane! There won't be an 'again'!"

Riku rushed toward Ansem, Soul Eater drawn, but hit a barrier. He fell back, smacking his head on the white marble floor. Riku tried to sit up and groaned.

"Did you really think you could harm me? A weakling like you couldn't even defeat Sora—and you had darkness on your side."

"Excuse me for . . . being weak . . ."

"You need the darkness. Submit! Bow to the darkness, and bow to me."

"Not a chance . . ."

"Only darkness can help you now."

"You're wrong!" said a third voice.

Riku perked up. He knew that voice, too. A white orb of light descended and circled over Riku's head.

"That voice . . .!" Riku pulled his body up to his knees. "Your Majesty, is that you?"

"You betcha! Riku, you're not alone. Listen careful now, Riku. The light'll never give up on you. You'll always find it, even in the deepest darkness! But you have to believe!"

Cloud had once told him that within darkness there was always a little light. Riku smiled.

"I will." Riku stood and faced Ansem. "Hear that? I'm not losing to the darkness today, Ansem."

Riku drew the Soul Eater.

"You think some feeble light can save you from the darkness I command? Fool!"

Ansem rushed at him and the battle began.

It was strange, fighting Ansem. For all the hatred Riku held for the man, they never engaged in battle before. Still, Riku almost felt Ansem's next move before it happened, and though Riku ached, Ansem ended the battle, stepped back, cast his weapon aside, and held something out to Riku.

"What are those?"

"They are cards crafted from your memory. Advance through the worlds they beget, and you will come to understand . . . Chasing the light will not distance you from the dark. You cannot run."

"Who's running? Give me the cards. I'll enter those worlds. And in the end, if I haven't given up . . . I win."

Ansem threw the cards to Riku. He caught them.

"I have one more gift for you."

Riku narrowed his eyes, and if he could, he would have liked to spit fire as he felt the darkness surround his heart. This was a too-familiar feeling.

"What did you do?"

"I tempered the darkness that remains in your heart."

Riku couldn't help but think that maybe there wouldn't be so much darkness left in his heart if people didn't keep messing with it.

"What, you still think that I'd rely on darkness?"

"Whether or not you use it is your choice." Ansem disappeared, but his voice continued. "I'll be waiting, Riku . . . for you to come to your senses and yield to the darkness!"

Riku looked from the cards in his hand to the doors.

"Not a chance," he said, and walked up the stairs, holding out the first card.

Like a sun sets to leave nothing but the dark, empty night, the light faded in Riku's heart, leaving nothing but a dark, empty shell. Still—even in the night—pinpricks of light shone from the stars. Riku smiled as he entered Agrabah. Cloud once said that Riku reminded him of the stars.

* * *

**_I just realized there were more reviewers than I thought. I guess it was longer responding than I realized._**

**_If I miss you this time, I'm sorry._**

**koyuki-san**: I can suffer through long reviews. Really. Heh. Okay, really, I understand writing a lot of reviews is a pain in the ass, especially for every chapter. I'm a bad reviewer myself. Still, I try to be better the more I write because I love getting reviews, so I figure it's polite to review more as a writer. I want to thank you for your compliments on my dialogue. I also want to thank you for pointing out that I made Leon and Cloud chattier than they typically are. I had the whole before Hollow Bastion was taken over by Heartless, Leon and Cloud were inseperable and neither one was that closed off scenario in my head. I knew they were talking more and more because Leon was happy that Cloud was opening up to him again like when they were younger. Kind of a brother thing, and that they drifted apart, but they were getting close again. When I read your review, I realized I forgot to explain that, so I put it in the last chapter. Worked really well, too, with family. Thanks for that!

**Lapse-Raevn**: I know. Stupid alert system didn't tell me I had reviews, either, and then I got bombarded. I know I'm insane for planning 100 chapters. I knew it when I signed up for the challenge. For a while, I thought I was never going to be able to fill all 100. Now I'm worried that 100 might not be quite enough and this whole thing will feel rather rushed. ::sigh:: Then I will write another CloudxRiku story because I've fallen in love with these two more than I thought I would. I thought I'd be rather sick of them by this point, but I like them more than Sora/Riku now. ::sigh:: What can you do? As for going through CoM and KH2, yeah, I'll be doing those, but I also have that year or so between CoM and KH2 to fill, what with everyone forgetting Sora and Riku working with DiZ, going after Roxas . . . it's more than you think. It's more than I thought, anyway. I'm also writing some KH2 aftermath, so, yeah . . . It's a lot. I put that Sephiroth thing in there because, yes, we all went back after Sephiroth many times. I never beat him, though. Not in KH1, anyway. I did in KH2. ::shrug:: As for Cloud's double . . . Hmm . . .

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: Yes, he is still mourning for Riku. Riku was a lot of things to Cloud. One of them that was most imporant was how optimistic Riku could be, but Cloud worried because Riku was so young. Thinking he lost Riku is a lot like losing hope for Cloud. Once again, as for the Cloud double . . . Hmm . . . Cloud and Riku will see each other again within the next . . . five chapters or so? Dunno. There's one-hundred, so, yeah, they'll see each other again. A lot of each other, really. No need to fret just yet. Oh, and yes, I did see you were writing a CloudxRiku. It made me very excited.

**Chalice of Chelsea**: Heh. I never thought I write fast. I just like to write a lot and I have a limited life. I watch a lot of movies, I only work on the weekends. I'm not in college right now (fall, I hope), and I've been out of highschool for . . . holy shit. Almost five years now? I was in college, but I dropped out because I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I was all screwed up on meds. I was an English major, but I'm going back to school for show production and touring. Anyway, the point of this is there is no great secret to being a wonder writer, just that I have a lot of free time on my hands.

**Deaths private dancer**: Yeah. I don't know. I see Cloud and Leon as really good friends, or more like brothers. I wanted to make it clear there that there isn't anything even slightly romantic going on there. I don't need that kind of melodrama to get in this story. I've got enough drama on my hands already with what Disney and Square Enix gave me to work with.

**Koji Inari**: You absolute favorite? Really::smile:: That makes me very pleased with myself.

**Quellesirel Peredhil**: An unOOC nonAU with Cloud and Riku together in the canon plot of the game was exactly what I was going for. So thanks. Um . . . here's more? Cause I write a whole effing lot? Yeah. Here's more because I write a whole effing lot, which is a good thing because there's only 77 chapters to go! I'm almost twenty-five percent through the fic! Almost twenty-five percent::sigh::

**_Okay, so to be quite honest with you all, I realize there are 77 chapters to go, and it's starting to not sound like a whole lot. Almost a fourth done. Two more chapters, yeah, and I'll be one-fourth there. I'm panicking a little. I can't believe I put this little substance into twenty-three segments. I have so much to go. I'm also loving every second I spend with this story and reading/responding to the reviews._**

**_A big thank you to everyone who put this story on their favorites list or story alert, because it means so much to me that I have people really interested in reading this story. I also means a lot that people have taken their time out to read and review. I know this pairing is practically nonexistent and I'm getting a little ahead of myself saying that I'm taking over and hoping that more CloudxRiku may be inspired by this story. Still, this is a fantastic pairing, and it's amazing so far to see how this story has picked up._**

**_When I first posted this story in November, I got maybe two reviews in a week. Now I'm getting up to fifteen._**

**_So, yes. A big thank you to everyone._**

**_I encourage feedback, but am feeling a bit too sentimental right now to try and persuade you with bad jokes._**

**_I also apologize for any spelling errors in this author's note. Alas, I am too lazy to proof my own author's notes._**


	24. Reassurance

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 024. Questions

**Word Count**: 2,313

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: If this was his family, and Leon was like a brother to him, Cid was the closest he ever came to a father. This realization was not as frightening as he thought it would be.

**Musical Inspiration**: Dishwalla: _Counting Blue Cars_

**Disclaimer**: I didn't acquire the rights to Kingdom Hearts since I wrote the last part of this story, nor did I become affiliated with Disney or Square Enix. I don't foresee becoming affiliated with any of this in the near future. I haven't even been to Disney World or Disney Land, so no. I don't own any of this. I'm just playing with it like a kid with my hands in the cookie jar.

**Author's Note**: This came easier than expected, and honestly, I'm quite pleased with it.

* * *

**_Step Twenty-Four: Reassurance_**

Why did Cloud hate himself? Cloud never considered himself to be much of a masochist, but standing here in this room, he figured he must be. After all, he was still here in Hollow Bastion, helping Leon, Aerith, Cid, and Yuffie with plans for the Hollow Bastion Restoration. He spent most days in town, shoveling gravel with Leon or helping Cid rebuild shops and houses. He spent his evenings in the castle where there were beds to sleep in, and once a few houses were finished being built, he agreed to move into one with Leon.

Staying in Hollow Bastion was torture enough—everywhere he looked held a memory of Riku. This was where they met, where they departed for a month-long trip on his Gummi ship, where they shared kisses, secrets, and dreams. Worse yet, staying in the castle broke his heart every day. How was he supposed to move on if every step he took brought back so many memories?

Why did he commit on staying—calling this world home again? He could have said no when Leon asked Cloud to be his roommate, but no, he just had to agree. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with Leon. Leon was fantastic. Despite his disappointment over the most recent Sephiroth encounter, Leon said nothing negative when Cloud cried. He told him things would get better. He listened when Cloud went on for hours about the despair he felt in this world, and how everything reminded him of Riku. It was hard to live here and call it home when everything felt so empty.

"You're beating yourself up," said Leon. Cloud knew he was right, but he couldn't stop. Riku and his beautiful eyes latched onto Cloud's thoughts from the moment they met, and even now, when things seemed hopeless, Cloud couldn't shake it.

Here, standing in this room, Cloud wondered why he hated himself.

He trailed his fingers over the chair, pulled it out, and sat at the desk. He glanced at the unmade bed by the wall. A strangled sound escaped his lips, and Cloud wasn't sure whether he was laughing or crying.

Any sane person in his position would have avoided Riku's bedroom at all costs, but Cloud, it seemed, hated himself.

He traced a finger across the desk. Books lay sprawled across the top; Cloud gathered them together, and shoved the small pile to the side. Cloud paused, staring at the object sitting behind the last book. His breath hitched.

Cloud reached out and took the cell phone into his hand. The display read that there were thirty-seven missed calls. All of them were from Cloud.

He didn't need to wonder why he pocketed the phone before he stood and left the room.

----------0----------

Cloud walked into the library and took a seat at the table with Aerith, Yuffie, Cid, and Leon. Diagrams, blueprints, and plans lay spread across the table. To Cloud, they were all starting to look the same.

"We were just discussing how to make a security system for the town against the Heartless," said Aerith. "Sora helped by sealing the Keyhole, but the Heartless are still around, and they will be as long as there's darkness in a single person's heart. We'll want to protect what we fix."

"Where were you?" said Yuffie.

Cloud shrugged. Across the table, Leon leaned forward and peered at him.

"Cloud," said Aerith. "You okay? You look like you've been crying."

Cloud rubbed his face.

"Are you going to be like this all the time?" said Yuffie. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I like having you around, but it's starting to be a real drag. Fixing up the town could be a lot of fun, but you're so moody all the time."

"Cloud's going through a hard time right now."

"So something happened with his boyfriend. Who cares? You two will make up and then you can stop moping."

"It's a little more than that, Yuffie," said Leon. All eyes save for Cloud turned to Leon.

"You're defending him? I'd think you of all people would think he's overreacting."

"If anything, he's holding it in."

"I'm right here. I can hear you," said Cloud.

"Just trying to help."

"I don't get what the big deal is," said Yuffie. She turned her attention to Cloud. "I mean, how are we supposed to understand if you don't tell us anything? I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but really, Cloud. I'm sure it's nothing and it will just pass over."

"I haven't heard from him in two weeks," said Cloud. He reached into his pocket and slammed the cell phone on the table. A part of him wanted to behave with more self-restraint, but the pressure built, and Cloud couldn't stop the explosion in time. "This is his phone. He doesn't have it with him because, for all I know, he could be dead."

"Where did you get that?" said Leon.

Cloud glared.

"His fucking room."

"Okay, now I'm really lost," said Yuffie.

"His room?" said Leon.

"Yes. His room. His fucking bedroom. Since we're all so eager to talk about my relationship issues instead of the plans like we're _supposed_ to be doing, that's where I was."

"You left Hollow Bastion?" said Yuffie.

"No. I didn't."

"But . . ."

"I met him here, okay? That's why I was here so much a few months back. Because _he_ was here."

"Do we know him?"

"Not exactly," said Leon. Cloud felt his anger ebb.

"Listen, I'm sorry. It's just been really . . . hard . . . being here."

Yuffie paused and looked at her hands. She frowned.

"Cloud, what happened to him? I mean, I thought that maybe he just took off without telling you or anything, and you just didn't know whether he was alive or dead because you hadn't heard from him, but . . ."

The softness in her tone that was so uncharacteristically Yuffie softened Cloud.

"I _don't_ know whether he's alive or dead. I _do_ know that he isn't okay."

"He lost his heart," said Leon. Cloud looked up and he met Leon's eyes. Leon nodded.

"The . . . Heartless got him?" said Yuffie. Cloud turned from the strength and concern in Leon's eyes to meet Yuffie's. "I'm sorry, Cloud. I wouldn't have been so . . . I mean . . . if I had known . . ."

"It's okay."

"Is there any way to help him?" said Aerith. "Is he gone for good . . . or is it just that the Heartless have control over him and there's still a chance?"

"I don't know."

"I think there's a chance," said Leon.

Aerith smiled and turned toward Leon.

"Do you?"

"Well . . . yeah. I mean . . . not that I've thought about it much or anything."

Cloud laughed.

"And the icy exterior cracks."

"Someone has to look out for your sorry ass."

"Yeah, Squall," said Yuffie. "That almost sounded sincere."

"Leon, I didn't know you were still capable of feelings," said Cid. Cloud jumped. He almost forgot Cid was there.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, but you don't have to listen to this drama queen mope and cry all day because the love of his life was taken by the Heartless. If you were in my position . . ."

"And you listen to him, and support him, and tell Cloud that everything is going to work out just like a decent human being!" Yuffie sprang from her chair into Leon's lap and wrapped her arms around her neck. "It's almost like he's a real person!"

Leon shoved Yuffie onto the floor. He looked to Cloud.

"Do you know how much you owe me, Strife?"

"I'm depressed and find my situation hopeless," said Cloud. "I never asked you to be optimistic. You did that on your own."

"I meant about Yuffie."

"I have no control over the words that come out of your mouth. I can't help you jumped at trying to reassure me first."

"It's habit."

Yuffie squealed.

"Squall makes it a habit to be reassuring! Look at you, being all nice to Cloud like you're capable of friends!"

She hopped back in his lap. Leon pushed her to the floor. For the first time since Leon called him on the Gummi, Cloud smiled and forgot about the pain.

----------0----------

"Moogles," said Cid. "Do you believe it? Already!"

Cloud almost laughed. As they days stretched on, more people showed up in Hollow Bastion. Cloud recognized many of them from before their world was overrun with Heartless. Where did they come from? Where had they gone when leaving this world? Some were from Traverse Town, but most of them Cloud hadn't seen in years.

Aerith welcomed each returning person with food and invited them to help in the restoration. Leon brightened a bit with every familiar face that appeared in town. Cloud figured that he not only appreciated the extra help with building, but felt he was finally fixing whatever mess he believed he caused in the first place.

Nothing was entirely finished yet, but talk already buzzed about deeds and shops. This morning, a representative for the ever-enterprising Moogle race arrived, ready to take over the first shop finished. Cloud almost laughed. You had to hand it to the Moogles: they were on top of things.

"I think it's funny," said Cloud.

"You would. Pass me that hammer."

Cloud dug around in the toolbox and passed the hammer to Cid.

"So how're you holding up, kid?"

Cloud glanced up the ladder to the aging man and watched as he drew a nail into the new roofing. He smiled. How long had it been since Cid had called him 'kid'? He thought back to his conversation with Aerith in Olympus Coliseum. If this was his family, and Leon was like a brother to him, Cid was the closest he ever came to a father. This realization was not as frightening as he thought it would be.

"I'm all right. I didn't think I'd like this restoration as much as I do, but it reminds me of times when things were simple. Before the Heartless came."

Cid nodded. His lips were agape, a nail held between his teeth as he marked a spot on the roof. He plucked it out with his fingers and drove it into the roof.

"So when're you going to tell me about the love of your life?"

Cloud sighed.

"Does _everyone_ have one-track minds these days?"

"He seems really important to you. Before the Heartless came, you would've talked my ear off about him."

Cloud smiled.

"Nah. You don't want to hear about it."

"I never had a problem with you liking guys before. Why would I have a problem with it now?"

"I don't know."

"What's he look like?"

"Beautiful."

"That tells me a lot."

"I don't know. He's kind of indescribable. He's got this messy, kind of choppy silver hair. The most amazing eyes I've ever seen. It's like I can read everything he's feeling in his eyes. Tan. Lean."

"He sounds like Sephiroth."

Cloud burst into laughter.

"I know! It's horrible. I mean . . . he's nothing like Sephiroth, but when you get down to the basics . . . Yeah. They look like they could be related."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Not really. Like I said, he's nothing like Sephiroth. Not when you _really_ look at him."

"He's messed up in the darkness, though."

Cloud sighed.

"He's young and headstrong. Bad combination when it comes to the darkness."

"So's Sora."

Cloud closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I know, but he . . . he trusted the wrong people. Didn't know what he got himself into until it was too late."

"Sounds like someone I know."

Cloud glanced up to the roof to see Cid staring down at him.

"We have a lot in common."

"Leon said he's only fifteen."

"Leon has a big mouth these days."

"There's only one thing I need to know from you."

"What's that?"

"How does he make you feel?"

Cloud smiled.

"Like I could finish Sephiroth without even trying." Cloud sighed. "I know everyone is really fixated on him being involved with the darkness, but the darkness doesn't suit him, and he doesn't make me want to be involved with it, either. When I'm with him, all I can see is the light."

Cid nodded.

"If he can make you feel like that, he's got my stamp of approval."

"Yeah, well . . . I don't even know if I'll ever see him again."

"If he's as great as you say, you don't have to worry. People like that don't just give in to the Heartless. You can bet he's somewhere right now putting up one hell of a fight. He'll be back."

When Leon said Riku would be back, it often felt like a meager attempt to cheer him up. Aerith was always optimistic, and her views were both predictable and typical. Yuffie, like Aerith, was an eternal optimist, though with far more enthusiasm. Hearing Cid say this, who could be just as negative as Cloud, caused a little warmth to settle in his heart.

Cid was right. Riku wasn't the type to just give in. Somewhere, he was alive, fighting the Heartless, and being an utter pain in the ass. Riku was just as stubborn as Sora and Leon put together.

Cloud closed his fingers around Riku's cell phone in his pocket. He'd hang onto it just a bit longer—just long enough to return it to its owner. After all, he couldn't keep running to Cid for a new cell phone, and Riku would need one upon his return.

"Could you pass me that other box of nails?" said Cid.

Cloud rummaged through the toolbox.

* * *

**_Speedy updated. Yes, I know. I'm amazing like that._**

**_I debated with myself over whether or not to respond the few reviews I already got the previous chapter, but I decided why not? I mean, I may as well. Help me keep up with this reviewer thing so I don't miss anyone._**

**_So here we go . . . again:_**

**Mangled Euphoria**: Yeah, I'm pretty obnoxious, too, when I'm really into a story and it gets updated. None of my friends care. They don't like the same ships I do, but yeah. The funny thing is that I tell them all about my story, too, and where it's going, and they don't care about that either. My poor best friend. She doesn't care for Cloud at all, and as he's an integral part of this story . . . yeah. I drive her nuts, I think. I'm glad you liked my walk down memory lane. I thought maybe it was a little much, but it just led into Chain of Memories so well I had to keep it the way it was.

**Resa**: Thank you for my cookie. I'm on a diet, but I guess I can sneak just one. I know what you mean about poor Riku and Castle Oblivion. Just thinking about writing it I feel bad for him. Poor dear. I'm going to try Castle Oblivion pretty fast, though, because I really want these two back together. I'm looking forward to playing with that year.

**Koji Inari**: You're wonderful, you know that? I love my constant reader, you put me in a C2 . . . yeah. I'm glad you don't tire of how long this thing is. Especially since it's going to be much, much longer. Hopefully I can keep things interesting. Yeah. I'd hate to overkill this thing.

**Lapse-Raevn**: Nah. It won't be longer than 100. I just hope it doesn't get rushed. I admit I burst out laughing when I read you forgot about Roxas. Heh. That whole Roxas/Riku fight is something I'm really looking forward to writing. Yeah, I don't know why Riku has a big sister. He just does. I, admittedly, adore her. You just don't mess with Ayumi or her little brother. You will get to meet her eventually, but that eventually means, you know, around chapter 95 or so in the KH2 aftermath. Yes, she is very protective of her brother, and though you don't get to see much of it, Riku adores her just as much. Honestly, as far as Castle Oblivion, I look most forward to writing Riku meet his Replica. Yeah. That's going to be fun. ::snickers at Riku's misfortune::

**Lady Karai**: Thank you for the compliments and the luck. I do fear, though, that once I get to 100 I won't want to let it go. It's going to be such a long journey for all of us--Cloud and Riku included. I'm always sad finishing a story, so I can't imagine what this will be like. There's a great chance I won't abandon this story. It's a LiveJournal challenge, and the fact I'm signed up and working my way through is great motivation. I also really want my pretty banner and a spot in the Hall of Fame.

**_And for some pimpage. I mentioned before that I'm on myspace as DecemberSins. The link is in my profile, but yes, myspace, DecemberSins. I'm also at LiveJournal (obviously) as december-sins. If you want to send me messages or read up on what I'm doing with this story (because it's all I blog about anymore), you can check me out over there. I will friend you. Promise._**

**_My weird mood should be accreditted to the 3:28 am time. I usually go to be around midnight, but I had a pot of coffee late in the evening, and now I'm all spazzy._**

**_Whoo!_**

**_Feedback rocks my socks._**


	25. Shame

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 025. Choices

**Word Count**: 1,915

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: This was where his choices and poor judgment led him—worlds deserted of nothing but Heartless and Maleficent's allies. Riku was alone, save for those like him—those who walked the line between light and dark.

**Disclaimer**: Nope. Still not mine. All this stuff is copyrighted to Disney, Buena Vista Games, Square Enix, and other places, I'm sure, but none of it is copyrighted to me. No infringement intended. I make no money off this figment of my imagination.

**Author's Note**: I enjoyed writing this part a lot. Sending Riku through the first four worlds of Castle Oblivion (besides Hollow Bastion that is). So Riku is off to Basement Seven when we return to his storyline. I also enjoyed writing Vexen in here. Unfortunately I couldn't write his name out in the chapter because he never tells Riku who he is. So . . . yeah. The Organization guy Riku meets here is Vexen for those who do not know.

* * *

**_Step Twenty-Five: Shame_**

Riku walked up the flight of stairs to the next floor, which, he was unsurprised to see, looked like the hallway before. He walked toward the doors to the next card world, Agrabah on top. Riku didn't know what to expect behind those doors except for more Heartless; the only time he visited this world was to kidnap Princess Jasmine for Maleficent.

"Something tastes kind of funny . . ." said Riku. "What is it? It's so familiar . . ." Riku had no time to marvel at the realization that he was talking to himself when the answer came to him. "Darkness. The taste of darkness."

Riku hung his head.

"What's happened to me . . . ? The darkness even seeps into my senses."

"Don't you worry, Riku."

The orb of light descended again, blinding the already bright room with light. King Mickey appeared before him, flickering, as if he were on a badly tuned television screen.

"Your Majesty! What's happened to you? You're all . . . fuzzy."

"I can only send a little bit of my power here. But I have a request."

"A request? From Your Majesty?"

By this point, Riku was past the point to revel at the king's species.

"Riku, don't let go of yourself just because darkness has a hold on you. Fight the darkness inside you! It won't be easy . . . but don't forget! Even in the darkest darkness, there's always a little light."

Riku raised an eyebrow.

"Light . . . within darkness?"

"You and I have seen it! The far-off light, welcoming light inside the door to darkness. The light of Kingdom Hearts, Riku—it'll show you the way. Please don't give up. Believe in the light. That's all I ask."

Riku smiled. There really was light in darkness, wasn't there? All Riku had to do was make the conscious effort to follow it.

"Okay . . . I'll try my best."

"And I'll try to find a way to reach you. I'll come, I promise."

King Mickey held out his hand. Warmth filled Riku's heart. He didn't know what he did to deserve this king's undying allegiance or encouragement. He wasn't even sure why King Mickey looked out for him at all, or tried to speak to him when Riku was so lost in the darkness that he couldn't even hear him. None of that mattered. It was overwhelming to have someone on his side other than Cloud—someone who had no ties to the darkness. Riku extended his hand to shake King Mickey's, but his hand passed through the image. He jerked back his hand.

"You're . . . an illusion? My hand passes right through you."

"But we shook hands in our hearts. We're connected, you and me."

Riku smiled. King Mickey was right. How could they not be when they were locked behind the door to darkness together?

"Yeah . . . I guess so."

King Mickey disappeared. Riku took a deep breath, turned, and ran up to the doors, holding out the card to enter Agrabah.

----------0----------

Nothing significant lay behind the doors to Agrabah. There was a battle against Jafar, but—like Ansem and Maleficent explained—he only saw the dark beings he first met in Hollow Bastion. He didn't see Sora, that urchin Aladdin, or even the Princess he kidnapped. When he ran up to the next floor, he looked at the card before holding it to the doors. He fought the lump in his throat and swallowed, hoping it would go away. Riku entered Monstro.

Depression sunk into his body as he wandered the whale's interior.

"These are just your memories," said Riku.

Even though he only met Parasite Cage and a slew of Heartless, the entire ordeal repeated in his thoughts. One room was where he met Pinocchio. In another room, he envisioned Sora. Here was where he refused to give Pinocchio to his father. This room was where he called Cloud.

"I'm sorry, Sora. I guess you were right all along. I had a conscience; I just chose not to listen to it."

Riku took so many wrong turns, made so many bad decisions in the past few months. Traverse Town was where it started, but here in Monstro, Riku solidified their sides. He tried to pin Sora as the bad guy, but it was Riku, not Sora, that made things the way they were now.

Even as he fought, he tried to cling to the light. His head spun as he fought the darkness that Ansem tempered within his heart. Twice during battle he lost control, and that horrible outfit was back again, his abilities heightened, but this time it was stronger and more powerful. He meant to only attack, but whatever Ansem did to his body when he took control lingered in his heart. Riku zipped across the room, jumped higher, and left everything that came in contact with the Soul Eater without a fighting chance.

Riku knew that in the long run, it wouldn't help him any to fight darkness with darkness. It was something he couldn't think about right now with his heart already aching. Hollow Bastion hurt to see. Agrabah reminded him of how he threw caution aside to kidnap princesses for his own selfish reasons. Monstro . . . Monstro reminded him that it was he, not Sora, who pushed their friendship away.

Relief washed over him as he rushed into the blinding, white hallway that Riku came to associate with this place. He moved to cross the hallway and head to the next flight of stairs (how many floors had he traveled now?), but his path was blocked; a man with long, blond hair appeared between Riku and the stairs.

"Riku, I presume?"

Riku took a step back and drew the Soul Eater.

"Who are you? Are you with Ansem?"

The man paused, but his stoic expression did not falter.

"You are half-correct. Let us say that it's not the Ansem you know. He is Ansem and he is not—which is to say he is nobody."

"Nobody, huh? Sorry, riddles aren't my thing. Try making some sense."

"He belongs to neither the light nor the dark, but walks the twilight between. As do I. And for that matter—"

The man looked at Riku. The twilight between, thought Riku, in that time when the sun sets, where light and dark meet. Riku's eyes widened and he let his poised arm holding the Soul Eater fall. The man laughed.

"That's right. We have much in common."

Riku dropped his head and frowned.

"Maybe we do . . ." said Riku. He raised the Soul Eater again and glared at the man. "But so what? Is that an invitation to join your club? Yeah, there's darkness inside me, just like you said. But darkness is my enemy! And you are, too, for making everything here reek of it."

The man actually dared to look amused.

"Oh ho, so it's a fight you want. Very well—a fight you shall get."

He pulled a large, blue shield from nowhere, and once again, Riku found himself engaged in battle. He didn't know how Sora did this all the time. First the Heartless, Maleficent, Jafar, Parasite Cage, and now this blond man in the black cloak. Riku understood why, maybe, Sora's heart was the stronger one—why in the end, the Keyblade chose him instead.

The ice attacks were tricky, and Riku was thankful when he felt himself transform. This man blocked all frontal attacks, and Riku found it hard to get behind him. Once in his dark form, the battle became easier.

The man stepped back, laughing. Riku continued to hold the Soul Eater, facing him. He wasn't giving up, was he? If he did, it was all for the better. Riku didn't really want to battle to the death, and he waited to see what this man would do.

"This battle has made it clear," the man said. "The darkness coursing through you is a tremendous power. All you needed was the right provocation."

Riku gritted his teeth. How could he have felt _thankful_ when his dark powers took over?

"Great. So this was a trick?"

"Precisely. Your fiery reaction provided just the data I needed. You have my thanks, Riku."

The man disappeared and Riku stared at the empty hallway.

He'd been tricked by a blond man in a black, hooded coat. He'd felt thankful—real relief—when the darkness coursed through his body. Riku hung his head and walked up the stairs to the next floor.

----------0----------

It was a place he never cared to see again. When he looked at the card before entering the world, Riku frowned, and his face turned red. First Ansem, then the trick, and now a card to Neverland? What kind of place was this, and what kind of options did Riku have when he felt most comfortable using the darkness? Ansem's words returned to him and Riku steadied himself. He wouldn't allow Ansem to win this time. Whether he wielded the darkness well or not, he would not give in to it.

King Mickey said the light would never give up on him. Riku hoped King Mickey knew what he was talking about.

Riku advanced through Captain Hook's ship—a place as familiar as Hollow Bastion and Destiny Islands. When he came to face Captain Hook, Riku took his frustration out on the clone, and put all his efforts into defeating him. It felt good to watch Captain Hook fall. That man drove him insane.

On the next floor of the building, Riku held out the last card and entered Traverse Town. He knew he wouldn't find them, but he looked for Sora, Cloud, and Cloud's friends, anyway. Riku's heart ached.

Back in Monstro (the fake one), Riku could think of four worlds other than Hollow Bastion and Monstro that would torture him to visit. Two of them were Neverland and Traverse Town. The most twisted part of this place was that he didn't even meet his worst memories. His empty heart wouldn't allow it. Instead, he filled in the people he'd hurt and lost with his mind. It was worse than if he could actually see them.

Riku knew he wouldn't find anyone he wanted to see in Traverse Town, but when he saw the light of the white hallway and only encountered Guard Armor and even more Heartless, this knowledge didn't stop the pain in his heart. Riku hung his head. This was where his choices and poor judgment led him—worlds deserted of nothing but Heartless and Maleficent's allies. Riku was alone, save for those like him—those who walked the line between light and dark.

He paused before stepping into the hallway. Someone would be out there. Riku didn't have any cards left, and someone would have to give him more unless Ansem was already waiting to destroy him. Riku doubted that. Ansem wasn't kind enough to try and play puppet master again without torturing Riku more first.

Riku took a deep breath and stepped into the hallway. Standing there was a person, but no one Riku could have ever guessed. It wasn't Ansem. It wasn't even the blond man in the black, hooded coat.

"What the . . ." said Riku. "What are you supposed to be?"

"Surprised? I guess you would be. I bet it's not every day you meet your twin."

* * *

**_Double post. Read on._**


	26. Just Like Old Times

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 026. Violence

**Word Count**: 2,431

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: "Just like old times, huh?" said Cloud. Leon smiled.

**Musical Inspiration**: Utada Hikaru: _Sanctuary_

**Disclaimer**: Yeah, right. I wish.

**Author's Note**: So this is a double post. I can't explain to you how I went from the angry, violent townsfolk to this bizarre little segment, but when I thought about the prompt 'violence,' this was what came out of me. So, yes. Within this chapter you will find violent townsfolk and a very flighty Cloud. I don't know how this happened, but I like it.

**Regarding the chapter**: Everything I know about Final Fantasy I learned from Advent Children, KH fanfic, various Final Fantasy sites, and wikipedia. As Cloud, Leon, etc. are the KH versions of the Final Fantasy characters (and Selphie Tilmitt is a fourteen year old girl living on Destiny Islands), I am unconcerned about this.

* * *

**_Step Twenty-Six: Just Like Old Times_**

Cloud wiped the sweat from his brow and held up a hand to block the bright sunlight from his eyes. With all the new arrivals in Hollow Bastion, the restoration moved along faster, and town started to look more like a town instead of a gravel pit. Cid finished rebuilding the first house yesterday, and though there was a riot over who would occupy it, Leon set the people to rest.

The new rule in Hollow Bastion followed that the first to arrive would be the first housed. As Leon, Yuffie, Cid, Aerith, and Cloud were here first, Leon decided he and Cloud were moving in. Cloud chuckled. He knew Leon's real goal was to get Cloud out of Maleficent's castle before he lost his mind, but the outrage the townsfolk expressed amused Cloud to no end. Leon couldn't get a moment of peace without someone throwing a piece of gravel at him.

More people, though, meant more progress. Three days after settling in the new house, the Moogles had their shop, and two more houses were finished. Aerith, Cid, and Yuffie helped two families move into the homes. Leon stayed inside where it was safe.

Aerith still couldn't figure out where all the furniture and food came from, and Leon wasn't telling. Cloud had a suspicion that it was all from different worlds until the rest of theirs was repaired and things such as furniture and food could be manufactured. It would remain a suspicion. Cloud knew better than to annoy Leon about these kinds of things. He figured that maybe Aerith did, too.

"I didn't expect so many people to show up back here," said Leon. He eyed the window and drew the curtain. "I thought we'd be farther along when they did."

"I guess this is what happens when a world becomes as safe as it can be again. People just start popping back up," said Cloud.

Leon nodded.

"Aerith said it might happen, but . . . did you know so many people even lived in this area of Hollow Bastion?"

"It's impressive. You know, this would have gone so much easier if our world would have been . . . you know, _completely _taken by the Heartless instead of . . ."

"What did happen? Letting it stay and become a barren wasteland because Ansem the Wise turned out to be Ansem the Criminally Insane?"

Cloud laughed.

"Yeah. I mean . . . everything would have just popped back up again in that case, right?"

"Sure. That way the people would have no recollection of what happened. It's just like those people out there. They don't remember a damn thing about the Heartless or Ansem . . . they just think a huge storm came through here or something."

"I heard Yuffie telling them all a story about how there was a huge natural disaster and the whole town had to be evacuated. I think she's trying to fill in the missing nine years. The funny thing is, even though no one can remember this tragedy, they all just accept they've been living outside of here until it was safe to come back."

"Better than knowing what really happened, I guess. I wish I could forget."

Leon took off his boots and placed them beside the sofa.

"I guess that's just the way things go when a world is restored, huh?" said Cloud.

Leon shrugged.

"Who knows? Could be. Hungry?"

"You cooking?"

"Of course. We have to eat, and I don't trust you to do it."

"I'm an excellent cook."

"You're a horrible cook."

"I'm an okay cook."

"You give me food poisoning."

"You have a weak stomach."

"You gave yourself food poisoning."

"It was a new recipe."

"Cloud . . ."

"Okay, I'm a horrible cook. Feed me."

Leon rolled his eyes and walked behind the counter that separated the kitchen and the living room. He opened the refrigerator and stared inside.

"What do you want?"

"Something edible."

"You know, if you were cooking, that wouldn't be an unfounded request."

"Okay, Leon, I think we've discussed what a crappy cook I am enough now. Let's talk about something you suck at."

"Okay. We'll talk about how I suck at not talking about what a crappy cook you are."

"You annoy me."

Leon turned around from the refrigerator to smirk at Cloud.

"Hey, did Aerith tell you she heard from Tifa?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. She's coming to help out. So is Merlin, at that."

"Really? Merlin's coming?"

"Yeah. Aerith asked him to. Said we'd build him a house here and everything. I think that will all the people at each other's throats, she thinks we might need a little magic to help us out. He was very excited about the Restoration."

"The more the merrier, right?" said Cloud. He looked toward the window and stared at the curtains.

"Don't tell the people out there that. I think they're trying to kill each other for a good place to sleep. Not that I blame them. I'd send them to the castle, but with all the Heartless around it—"

"Yeah. I still haven't figured out what we're going to do about that one."

"I just figured whenever Sora showed up again, we could ask him to help."

"A Keyblade master's job is never done."

Leon looked up from the counter where he was busy chopping vegetables and stared at Cloud.

"Hey. You okay?"

Cloud's head snapped up.

"Huh? Yeah. Just thinking."

"Don't hurt yourself."

"Very funny."

"Is it Riku?"

"What? No . . . Tifa, actually. I haven't seen her in ages."

Leon nodded.

"You always did have a soft spot for Tifa."

"I don't have a soft spot for Tifa."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do. You go to Aerith when you need to hear the nice version of the truth. You come to me when you just want someone to listen. You go to Tifa when you need a good kick in the ass."

"Why does that mean I have a soft spot for Tifa?"

"Because you're so stubborn that a good kick in the ass is what you usually end up needing."

Cloud frowned.

"I'm not that bad."

"Don't make me argue with you again, Strife."

"Those are fighting words, Squall."

"No, they weren't, but yours were."

"You were going to argue with me."

"You called me Squall."

"It's your name."

"My name is Leon."

"Your name is Squall. Don't make me call you Leon Leonhart."

"My name isn't Leon Leonhart."

"No, it isn't. It's Squall Leonhart. That means your name is Squall."

"I go by Leon."

Cloud shrugged.

"So when's Tifa coming?"

"Don't know."

"Does Aerith?"

Leon shrugged.

"When are we eating?"

"You're getting on my nerves."

Cloud smirked and leaned back in his chair.

"Just like old times, huh? Only now we're older, wiser, and don't have to listen to overprotective matrons."

Leon smiled.

"Yeah, just like old times."

----------0----------

Cloud didn't know what Cid was thinking when he left him to finish up the roof. Sure, Cid was teaching Cloud everything he knew about building because Leon said Cloud couldn't just stand around handing Cid tools all day. That didn't mean that Cloud should be building houses on his own. He wasn't capable of this kind of labor. Well, really, he was, but his hammering was almost as bad as his cooking. He slammed his thumb three times on the last nail; his finger was purple and swollen. Leon was going to pay.

Aerith and Yuffie—who took upon the job of making Hollow Bastion look "pretty"—were also responsible for keeping riots to a minimum. The people here were miserable. There were more bodies than anticipated, so when Leon disappeared to get food, not everyone was accounted for. Aerith and Yuffie tried to divide portions, but the townsfolk were tired from working, hungry from small portions, and aggravated at not having a proper place to sleep. Cloud had sympathy for them, but violence wasn't the answer.

Then again, Cloud has a nice bed to sleep in that wasn't in Maleficent's castle. In retrospect, he should have told Leon that he could withstand passing Riku's bedroom every day a little longer, but he hadn't, and he wasn't that sorry for it.

Cloud wiped his face with the back of his hand. It never got very hot in Hollow Bastion, but it was warm even for here, and with all the roofing Cid had him trying to do, Cloud was sweating. It was nothing like the heat in Olympus Coliseum, though. Cloud was at least thankful for that.

"Is that Cloud Strife I see, or have I gone delusional?"

Cloud missed the nail head and hammered his index finger. He howled in pain.

"Yep. That's Cloud, all right."

Cloud dropped the hammer on the room and flexed his fingers. He leaned over the side of the roof. On the ground below, brown eyes sparkled back at him, pink lips turned into a smile. Cloud almost jumped from the roof.

"Tifa!"

"Be careful. You're going to hurt yourself."

Cloud scrambled down the ladder and threw himself at her. Tifa smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

"When did you get here?"

"Just now. Squall said I'd find you over here."

"Don't let him hear you call him that," said Cloud, pulling back. He leaned against the building.

"Right. It's Leon now, I hear. Yuffie keeps reminding me."

"That's funny considering she keeps calling him Squall."

"Yeah, but I bet that's just to annoy him."

"So are you here to help with the Hollow Bastion Restoration?"

"For now. I don't know how long I'll be staying, but I'll be in and out of here to help. How are you? You're not as moody as I remember. Usually when I see you after a while, I try to hug you, but all you want to do is stare at your feet."

"Blame Leon and his stupid restoration. It's made me soft."

"How does Leon make anyone soft?"

"You'd be surprised."

"Aerith said you two were becoming close again, but I didn't realize just how close she meant. Squall actually almost smiled when he saw me. It's almost like before the Heartless. You know, before you were all moody and found your feet more interesting than me."

"Thanks, Tifa. It's nice to know you equate the word 'moody' with me."

"Actually, I equate the word 'whiny' with you. It could be worse, though. I equate 'stoic bitch' with Squall."

Cloud laughed.

"So how are things on Midgar?"

"Sephiroth showed up a little while back."

"Been there, done that."

Tifa's eyes widened, and then she broke into a smile.

"Really, Cloud? That's so great. He's gone?"

Cloud slumped against the wall.

"For now."

The smile on Tifa's face fell.

"Oh, Cloud . . ."

"Spare me the lecture. Leon already gave it to me."

"_Leon_ lectured you about it? Like, Leon meaning Squall? He didn't just . . ." Tifa shrugged her shoulders, looked around as if she were uninterested, and said, "Whatever . . ."

Cloud burst out laughing.

"Yeah, Leon meaning Squall, and yes, he lectured me."

"I guess someone has to keep your sorry ass in line."

"Yeah. That's what Leon said."

"Has he had a brain transplant?"

"I don't think so, but Aerith seems to think this is a good development. So Sephiroth aside, how is Midgar?"

"Great. Marlene wants to know when you're coming to visit again."

"Don't know. Sometime soon. You can tell her and Denzel I say hi, though, since you'll see them before I do."

"I have a new boyfriend."

Cloud arched his eyebrow.

"What happened to Reno?"

"Eh . . ."

Tifa shrugged.

"Do I know him?"

"Vincent . . ."

"Valentine?"

". . . Yes?"

"Cid's friend, Hollow Bastion Vincent Valentine?"

"Well, we ran into each other in Midgar and had a few drinks. The next thing I knew . . ."

"Tifa, you whore."

"Not that. We just spent a lot of time together and now . . ."

"He's your boyfriend."

"You got a problem with that?"

"I don't think it would matter even if I did."

"Gossiping," said Leon, rounding the corner. "Just as I suspected."

"Hey, Squall," said Tifa.

Leon handed them both brown paper bags.

"Leon. Aerith and Yuffie told me to bring you two lunch."

"What?" said Tifa.

"It's Leon," said Leon and Cloud. Tifa smiled.

"Right."

Leon leaned against the wall next to Cloud.

"Are you going to tell me the gossip or do I have to wait until tonight when Cloud won't be able to shut his mouth about it?"

Tifa raised her eyebrow.

"Since when do you need to know the gossip?" said Tifa.

"Since I moved in with him," said Leon, pointing toward Cloud.

"There's nothing wrong with me."

"You're an atrocious secret-keeper."

Cloud shrugged and stared at the ground. Tifa looked between them.

"So . . . you two are living together now?"

"It's not like that, Tifa, so don't even think about it," said Leon.

"I don't know. The way you said that you moved in together sounded kind of . . . like it was a romantic thing or something."

"Tifa's dating Vincent Valentine," said Cloud.

"You see what I mean about atrocious secret-keeper?"

Tifa laughed.

"So there's nothing going on between the two of you?"

"Not even remotely. Now what's this about Vincent Valentine?"

"Tifa's dating him," said Cloud.

"Cid's friend? Isn't he a little old for you?"

"Age is only a number."

"You would say that."

"Why would he say that?" said Tifa.

"Because he's dating a kid."

"What?"

"Yeah. To make a long story short, Cloud's dating a fifteen year old kid who got himself all messed up in the darkness, and now the Heartless have him. We don't know whether he's alive, or dead, or even able to break the hold the Heartless have over him. Cloud's all moody about it because he's in love with the minor, and the kid is far more important to him than Zack ever was. So, you know, now you're filled in on Cloud's tragedy if it gets brought up."

"That . . ." said Tifa. "And you thought things sucked when Zack died."

"That was a very understanding explanation, Leon," said Cloud.

Leon shrugged.

"Whatever . . ."

Tifa and Cloud stared at each other for a few seconds before they both burst into laughter.

"I guess there goes the theory on the brain transplant," said Tifa.

Leon glared at them.

* * *

**_Well, that was a lot of writing for two days._**

**_I don't know when you should expect the next part as I might not have time tomorrow for this, and my roommate/best friend comes home tomorrow night, which means I have to, you know, be social._**

**_Being social puts a horrible cramp in my writing, but oh well. At least I got Tifa out in this chapter._**

**_More Castle Oblivion in the next part._**

**_To the reviews I've gotten since I last posted (less than 24 hours ago . . . .:cough cough:.)--_**

**koyuki-san**: That long review was lovely to read. I don't cry when Riku tells Sora to take care of Kairi, but I do go, "Oh, Riku, I still love you!" I don't know why I like writing the Hollow Bastion/Radiant Garden gang. Maybe because Riku's parts are so angsty. I guess that enthusiasm comes out in the writing, though. Maybe it's also because I have more room to play with them. I know when I finally finish this story, I will enjoy the freedom to do what I like with Cloud and Riku without having to follow an already intricate plot and predetermined dialogue. As far as the Ayumi and Riku dynamic, I really think Riku makes more sense as a little brother. He has the leadership quality of an older brother with Sora and Kairi, but he is older than they are. He's a little self-centered, likes to be the center of attention, and a bit too foolhardy to be an only child or an oldest sibling. Making him the youngest child just made sense. I also wanted to give him a really great family as if he were sort of a privaleged child, which was maybe another reason why he felt so stifled and bored on Destiny Islands. I agree that Cid as a dad is frightening, which is why Cloud thinks that the idea isn't as frightening as he thought it would be. Cloud doesn't think it wasn't frightening at all. I'm glad you like my Riku and his transition. I really love Riku's story because it's such a growing up, coming of age type thing. And yes, I will cover KH2.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: After Chain of Memories is pretty much up for debate, I think. There's almost a whole year between Sora going in the pod and waking up in Twilight Town. He has to be moved from Castle Oblivion, Roxas has to be captured . . . not to mention that at the end of Chain of Memories, Riku walks away from DiZ, so he doesn't start working with him after that game. Roxas doesn't seem to be in the simulated Twilight Town that long, either, because Sora's restoration is so low at the beginning of KH2 . . . like, 12 percent or something. So where is Riku in the bulk of that year between Chain of Memories and KH2? Before he gets the blindfold and starts working for DiZ and turns into that ugly ass Ansem . . . Who knows? I mean, Riku's hair gets a lot longer, his face matures, and he gets taller between CoM and KH2. That's a lot of time between CoM and working for DiZ. Where was he? I don't know, but I'm putting him with Cloud.

**Mangled Euphoria**: Yes, I approved your Myspace request. I thought I'd pimp my myspace seeing as how I write so much about this story over there. Just seemed like the right thing to do. You aren't missing out on much by not owning this game. Honestly. I mean, okay, this game hooked me on Kingdom Hearts because I didn't have a PS2, and yes, this game made me buy a PS2 so I could play KH1, which was a pressing matter for me because I knew KH2 was coming out in the next few months. I had to wait for it, anyway, but meh. Still, I replayed this thing to write these chapters, and though the story is entertaining once you know what's going on in KH2, it gets rather boring. Then again, that might have something to do with the fact it's on crappy little gameboy. I'm looking forward to starting KH2 as well. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm looking forward to KH2 aftermath. Yes, yes, I am.

**Lapse-Raevn**: Hm? Oh, yes, I did update yesterday. And the day before. Hm . . . yes, I did. What can I say? I have no life. Yes, I liked Zexion, too, but not as much as I liked Axel. I was so beside myself with glee the first time I played KH2 and Axel came on the screen. My two friends were getting ready for work, never played _any_ Kingdom Hearts, and there I was, pointing at the screen, going, "Look! It's Axel! It's Axel in 3-D, moving, and not pixelated! I love him!" Of course, these two friends have been converted, and my best friend is an Axel superfan. Hm . . . how did I do that? Anyway . . . yes. Replica in the next chapter. Well, he was kind of in the last one, but you get what I mean.

**Chalice of Chelsea**: You know, sometimes I don't know where I'm going with this story, either, other than to the end of KH2. That's my only idea. Yeah.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: Yes, it is insane to write one hundred chapters. You're absolutely right. That seems to be the consensus, anyway, and I am out of my mind. I knew I was out of my mind when I decided to do it, too. But, hey, what can you do? Ah -- you don't need to tell me to update soon. Soon for me is like, four hours. Nah, I'm just kidding. I don't know when I'll get a chance to work on this again, but I do hope it's soon. I've got a Replica to write.

**_Thanks a bunch to everyone who has reviewed, who has read, and who has either put this story on their favorites or story alert list. I'm amazed every day when I get something for this story. What started out as a very big story for a very small community with very limited readers has grown into something I've proud to have written and shared with all of you._**

**_.:crosses fingers:. Here's to actually getting the Cloud/Riku fanbase off the ground. I don't mind writing a one-hundred chapter story and then even more stories after that to help the cause._**

**_Feedback rules; Ansem drools._**


	27. Reflection

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 027. Fear

**Word Count**: 1,757

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku didn't know where he was, but he knew he wanted out and as soon as possible.

**Disclaimer**: Kingdom Hearts, including the worlds and characters contained within, are the property of Disney and Square Enix. I am affiliated with neither one of these places, nor any other third-party affiliate that might be associated with the rights of Kingdom Hearts. No copyright infringement is intended. Wow, that was a very professional disclaimer. I'm usually a smart-ass.

**Author's Note**: I didn't read ahead enough in my scripting to know that the conversation between Riku, Repliku, and Ansem was about fear of the darkness. If I had, I wouldn't have thought so much about how to spin the 'Fear' prompt for this installment. Thank you, Square Enix, for doing my job for me.

* * *

**_Step Twenty-Seven: Reflection_**

Riku knew he was tired. Though he was unaware of how long he'd been awake in this place that alternated between the painful worlds in his memories and blinding white, how long it took to travel from that hazy place through the card-worlds, but it must have taken longer than Riku thought. His eyes were starting to play tricks on him. There was no other explanation.

Riku closed his eyes, opened them, and stared. Nope. Still there.

It had to be a figment of him imagination. After all, how many explanations could there be for the person standing across from him.

With desperation and grief, Riku left the mock Traverse Town. He expected an encounter, yes, but nothing like this occurred to him as even a slight possibility. Riku didn't have a twin. At least not that he knew of.

Riku blinked again and stared. He looked for a difference, but couldn't find any. He had the same choppy, silver hair. His aquamarine eyes were the same Riku stared at in the mirror for as long as he could remember. Same build, same height, and even the same scars. The same freckles on his shoulders.

Riku blinked.

"Too shocked to speak? This should come as a relief, then: I'm a replica of you that Vexen made."

So there was an alternate explanation.

"What, you mean a fake me?" said Riku. The replica frowned.

"I didn't say "fake"! Just because you're real doesn't mean you're better! We share the same body and the same talents. There is one easy way to tell us apart, though. Know what that is? Unlike you, I'm not afraid of anything."

Riku twisted his lips and narrowed his eyes. The replica smirked.

"Are you calling me a coward?"

"You _are_ a coward. You're afraid of the dark. The darkness inside you scares you witless."

"Look, I—"

"But _I'm_ different. I embrace the darkness. I can make it do whatever I want. In other words . . ."

The replica allowed his sentence to fall off, drew his own Soul Eater, and moved into a fighting stance. He smirked.

"I can wipe the floor with you!"

The replica attacked. Riku drew his own Soul Eater and dodged to the side. Vexen did a good job with this copy. Instead of sticking to his usual attacks, the battle became a mind game, centered on predicting what move the copy would pull out next. They had the same skills, after all. Riku abandoned any typical strategy and focused on defense until he could get in a few good hits. Even as he felt the darkness rise inside and the heightened powers take over, Riku focused on the clone.

Riku watched as the replica fell to his knees. His heart tightened. Vexen, he thought, must have been that man with the long, blond hair. The people here were crueler than he thought. His heart already ached and pounded through the memory-worlds, but watching this boy—this boy who looked exactly like him and yet had a mind of his own—cut deeper.

Was he supposed to see how great he could be with the darkness? Was he supposed to sink farther into his own shame as he saw his own face twist in anger, pride, and defeat? Was this clone supposed to kill him, assume his life, and take his place using the powers of darkness? This wasn't right.

The clone looked up at Riku through familiar, fringed bangs and sneered despite his struggle to breathe.

"Hey, _Fake_," said Riku. "I thought you were gonna wipe the floor with me."

"Go on, laugh. I'm still new. I'll get stronger and stronger, just you wait! It won't be long before I surpass you. Next time we fight, you're finished!"

"Sorry, you missed your chance. I'm finishing you first, right here!"

Riku lunged at the replica, but hit a barrier. The clone laughed and stood as Riku bounced back.

"It's nice to have darkness on my side." The replica walked over, and Riku stared into his eyes—eyes that belonged to Riku, and didn't belong on this fake. "How could you be scared of something so thrilling? You're missing out."

"Shut up!"

"So now the coward is playing tough guy. That's cute. See you next time, Real Thing. Try not to miss me."

The replica turned and walked up the stairs to the next floor. Riku heaved, his body trembling. He flexed his fingers.

"Come back here! I'll show you who's a coward, punk."

Riku ran toward the stairs, his heart racing. He entered the next floor, same as the one before it. No one was there.

"Come on out, you fake! Show yourself."

"Fake? Oh, I don't think that's the right word."

Riku turned. Ansem smiled.

"What are you saying? He's just a copy of me—he said as much himself."

"A copy, yes—or maybe a model. He is an example of what you should be. He accepts the darkness . . . just as you once accepted me. But now you are afraid. Perhaps you are the one who is being fake."

"Name one time I've been afraid of the darkness."

"In the card-worlds, you grappled desperately with the darkness. Desperation is a product of fear. You fight the darkness because it frightens you."

"Oh, I get it. You think I'll stop fighting the darkness just to prove I'm not afraid of it. Nice try, but I'm gonna keep fighting."

Ansem shook his head, but his smile remained.

"So stubborn."

He threw a set of cards to Riku.

"Then continue your fight, if you must," said Ansem. "Eventually, you will see. You cannot resist the dark."

Ansem disappeared. Riku looked down at the top card in the pile. Atlantica.

----------0----------

Riku passed through Atlantica in a blur. He was here a few times with Maleficent when she had to see Ursula about something pertaining to the princesses of heart. Ariel—a mermaid of Atlantica—was once thought to be a possible princess of heart, but once Maleficent realized she wasn't, the trips to Atlantica stopped. That felt so long ago now in a time before Keyblades, before Cloud, before the darkness . . .

Riku couldn't shake Ansem or the replica from his mind. Riku wasn't afraid of the darkness; he just didn't like it. Riku wasn't afraid of Ansem; he didn't want his heart taken over again. That wasn't fear—it was common sense.

Was that what he'd looked like against Sora? So angry and proud? Did he really smirk like that? Was his voice just as cocky? Did it sound as unconcerned and smug as the replica's when he said such harsh words? Was he that accusatory?

Worse yet, if all of the above things were as true to Riku as they were to the replica, was he always this way, or did it only start after the darkness?

Riku hugged his arms around his body as he walked up the stairs to the next hallway. He pulled the cards from his pocket as he approached the door. Riku looked down at the card on top, and his breath hitched. The cards fell to the floor.

Olympus Coliseum.

Sure, he hadn't seen Sora, Kairi, or anyone that wasn't one of Maleficent's allies up until now. Hollow Bastion, Neverland, Monstro, and Traverse Town were all full of painful and shameful memories. Olympus Coliseum was a good place. Cloud spent most of his time here, and Riku . . . this was where . . .

Riku knelt to pick up the cards. He kept Olympus Coliseum in his hand and slid the other two cards in his pocket.

Cloud and Riku were alike, both walking the line between light and dark. If all Riku would see were the people lost in darkness, at least he could still see Cloud, even if he was a figment of his imagination.

Still on his knees, Riku dropped his head. He squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip around the Olympus Coliseum card. Riku patted his pocket, taking in the absence of the cell phone that had weighed heavy in his pocket for so long. It was a comfort, even when Riku didn't use it. Right now, he could use that comfort. How long did this place go on? Where was he? Would he ever escape?

Riku stood and walked to the doors. He held out the card to Olympus Coliseum. Now, more than ever, Riku needed to hear Cloud's voice. Whether it came from an illusion or not was none of his concern.

----------0----------

Riku tore through Olympus Coliseum. He encountered Heartless, Hades, and more Heartless. He bypassed the door to the blinding white hallway. He revisited place he'd been before. Riku collapsed on the ground and leaned against a pillar. He stared up at the sky.

"It isn't real," said Riku. "That's not our sky."

Riku dropped his head in his lap.

"Where are you? Where am I? You . . . you're supposed to be here . . ."

"_Your heart only knows how to throw things away_ . . ."

Riku pushed back the tears and ran for the white hallway. Cloud wasn't here. Riku felt the disappointment and desperation sink into his heart. Cloud wasn't here because Cloud overcame the darkness. Sometimes he had trouble clinging to his light, but he wasn't lost in the darkness anymore. Cloud was strong; Riku felt himself grow weaker every second.

He had to get out of this horrible place. He had to defeat Ansem and get out of here. He had to leave the darkness behind once and for all.

Riku passed through Wonderland. Shame and pride clashed. He had to beat Ansem, but would that change things? Was this just who he was? Did he only have a weak heart shrouded in darkness? A heart that only knew how to throw things away?

If he did get out of this place, how would he ever face his friends again? What would they think of him? What did they already think with the way he behaved lately?

"At least Pinocchio still had a conscious," said Riku. He left Wonderland and looked at the card in his hand depicting Halloween Town. He'd gone here with Cloud during that month on the Gummi while looking for Sora. Riku sighed. "Just one card left. If I get through this, can I finally rid myself of the dark?"

Riku looked from the card to the door and walked forward.

* * *

**_Okay, so reviewers first! Yay!_**

**Chalice of Chelsea**: Was you comment about me admitting to loving the reviews sarcasm? Cause . . . heh. I guess I am overtly lovey about my reviewers, but you know . . . I used to get two for five chapters. So, yeah, I LOVE MY REVIEWERS! Okay, now that that's out of the way . . . Yeah. I don't want to do a cheating thing in this story. Too much melodrama. I think there's already enough of that crap going on already with what Disney and Square gave me to work with. As far as Vincent and Tifa . . . heh. I've said it before and I'll say it again: "The only things I know about Final Fantasy is what I've learned from Advent Children, wikipedia, KH fanfic, and various final fantasy fan sites." So, yeah. I actually just looked for a somewhat popular Tifa pairing other than Cloud and Vincent seemed like a good one to go with. I feel really bad for Cloud, too, with not knowing about Riku, but I just don't know who would know Riku's in Castle Oblivion and alive, cause Sora's there, too, so . . . yeah. I don't know. I'm so sorry to hear about your fiance. That . . . hm . . . really blows, you know? Truly. Like Cloud, I am no good at comforting people, but I'm glad the story does something. Sorry it took so long to update (yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds considering it's only been a week). Anyway, there will be much more over the weekend, so I hope it cheers you up some more.

**koyuki-san**: You could try to keep your reviews short, and I could try to keep my replies short, but why do that when we could be chatting so much? I don't know about you, but I think I'm a hopeless case. Yeah, as far as how fast I update . . . when I have time alone, it's all I do. And my time alone just started for the next few day. Expect a lot more where this came from. I haven't read the mangas. I was going to buy them and was so happy when they came out, but once I started thinking about writing Riku's side of the story and I realized the mangas don't really follow the game exactly, I decided against it. I really wanted to stay true to the games, so I thought I might get all lost and confused if I read them. Once all 100 chapters are done, I can read it them. It'll be my celebratory present, I guess. I'm glad you like my Tifa. I hate love triangles with a passion. All that drama just makes me all itchy, you know? If I wanted to write about a love triangle, I'd start out with one, but I don't like dealing with them in real life. Why would I want to put one in a story? That's just stress I don't need (and neither does Riku or Cloud, at that). I, also, loved Leon getting 'gravel-ed.' Giggled a lot when I editted it. Wasn't that funny when I was writing, but afterward . . . yeah. I crack myself up. It's sad. I think it's really cool my Hollow Bastion/Radiant Garden gang remind you of the manga version considering, as previously stated, I haven't read the manga. I'm in tune with that kind of stuff.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: Yes, Cloud is getting better. Time really does heal all wounds. Riku, yeah, he has to go through a lot of crap before he can be happy. Sorry about the cliffhanger. I really don't realize how horrible they must be for readers considering, yeah, I know what's gonna happen next. Doesn't concern me, so I don't think about it too much. So my humblest apologies to you. Um . . . I don't think Riku really meets Sora again until close to the end of KH2, so I guess it'll be a long time, and I think Namine will be in not the next Riku-centered chapter, but the one after that. So, that's like, chapter thirty-one? Thanks for loving my story. I love your reviews.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: Sorry for the long wait. I've had a busy, yet lazy, week. My best friend occupies much of my time. I really wanted to bring Tifa in the story since she's in KH2 and let her drift in and out, kind of like Cloud. The fight between Riku and Lexaeus should be in the next Riku chapter, so I guess that makes it chapter twenty-nine. Thanks for the encouragement.

**Koji Inari**: Thank you for letting me know I will not overkill the story. You may whistle a different tune come chapter one-hundred, but I hope not. You're welcome for making you broke. I laughed when I read you hadn't played the games. That kind of thing astounds me. You're in for a treat, though. They're awesome games. I mean it. I've beat seven games in my entire life (because I'm a crappy video game player and get close to the end but give up out of frustration when it causes me more stress than enjoyment) and three of those games are Kingdom Hearts. I do apologize for Winnie the Pooh, though. He's a little bastard. Anyway . . . trust me, you don't babble too much. I do. I mean, honestly, half my replies to reviewers are longer than the reviews themselves.

**Resa**: Yeah. Originally it was just going to be Tifa and Reno (cause I think Reno is hot) until I looked up the pairing and realized it's rather unpopular, but Vincent is also hot, and that pairing was more popular, so I went with it. I couldn't stop mentioning Reno, though. .:shrug:. Yep, Cloud has to wait, and patiently, too, because I apparently like to torture him. I'm happy, though, because Chain of Memories is taking up more chapters than I thought it would. Which is good. Cause 100 is a lot of chapters. I digress. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the blindfold just yet, but the wheels are turning. Yes, indeed.

**Lapse-Raevn**: I do hope the fanbase grows. I will write more stories after this, of course, and help the cause. In fact, I plan on doing more challenges after this is finished for the pairing. I want more pretty banners (What can I say? I'm greedy). Yeah. Replica is in here. I fell in love with him right away. Poor little confused sweetie. I'm going to be sad when I have to kill him, but Disney and Square say it is so, and I can't divert from the carefully laid out track now. Thanks for the compliments on Tifa and the interaction between Cloud and Leon. No, I won't end where KH2 ends. I plan on writing a few chapters of what comes after they return to the Islands (Heh. Destiny Islands. It's funny. I used to always call it Destiny Islands, but for some reason, Riku calls it the Islands in this story, and now I do, too). I can't imagine them staying on the Islands forever, either.

**Diru x Girls**: I honestly don't know if you've read this far, but I'm glad you like reading Riku's perspective. I don't know why it was so important for me to write it out for him (I sound crazy), but it was. A lot of people seemed surprised by Cloud and Riku. I'm not sure why considering it was one of the first couples I put together after playing through. Maybe because they have so much in common. Don't know. Anyway, I hope you keep reading. Thanks for dropping me a line.

**Tokienologist**: One of you all-time favorites? Wow. That's . . . quite the compliment. Thank you. I figured that this has probably been done before (Riku's POV), but I hadn't really found anything, so I just wanted to write it myself. AU's grow tiresome after awhile. I also made it an important point to include all the actual Riku dialogue and appearances through the game (that I could track down and remember, anyway, though I think I missed a few here or there -- like I swear he's on the clock tower in Neverland, but I couldn't find out where so I left it out). Wow. I just don't know how to respond to this review. I "have a way with words." .:smile:. To be honest with you, I was once an aspiring author. I wanted to write books for a living, but I hit a really bad writer's block that lasted for two years and gave up. I've been trying to find something else to do with my life ever since. Compliments like this (now that I'm writing again) mean a lot. Like I could actually do it if I wanted and there would be readers. Makes me want to really crack down on the original novel idea my best friend handed over to me (cause she thinks I'd flesh out and write her idea better than she would). Thank you so much.

**-find.me.please-**: Thanks for letting me know you love the story. Means a lot.

_**My apologies for being such a lengthy review-replier.**_

**_You should expect more tomorrow. Probably a double post. I was going to write another tonight, and I still might. I don't know yet. But definitely expect more tomorrow._**

**_Thank you to everyone who put me on their favorites or alert list. I now have twenty-five people on my alert list for this story. It's the most I've ever gotten (even more than I got for my Ron/Draco epic in the Harry Potter fandom). You people are amazing._**

**_Much love._**

**_.:December:._**


	28. Ideas

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 028. Fire

**Word Count**: 2,178

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Tifa's got some ideas up her sleeve for the Hollow Bastion Restoration, and Cloud wished Leon wouldn't get in on it.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any rights to the Kingdom Hearts series. I am not affiliated with Disney or Square Enix in any way. I have nothing to do with anyone who is affiliated with Disney or Square Enix. I do not infringe copyright. I just like to play.

**Author's Note**: It took me almost ten hours to write this prompt because as I tried to write it, I was sitting in the living room, watching my dad build Gummi ships and start playing KH2. If it seems disjointed, that would be why. Oh, well. His Gummi ship was pretty sweet. Looked like it came out of Star Wars. Anyway, the story continues . . .

* * *

**_Step Twenty-Eight: Ideas_**

"How long will you be staying?" said Aerith.

Cloud glanced up and followed Aerith's gaze to Tifa. The entire group sat in the living room of the house Cloud and Leon shared. Leon and Aerith made dinner for everyone, and Cloud ate most of it in a rush. Working on rooftops all day took a lot out of him. Conversation picked up as the food dwindled. A small portion of uneaten rice remained on his plate, and Cloud took to pushing it around instead of cleaning up.

"I don't know," said Tifa. "I don't want to be away from Marlene and Denzel for too long. Vincent's watching them while I'm gone, but . . ."

Yuffie burst out laughing. Cloud smiled.

"I'd almost pay to see that," said Cloud.

"He's very good with them. He just isn't . . ."

"Kid-friendly?"

"He's very loving."

"Vincent doesn't talk much," said Cid. "Doesn't mean he don't care."

Tifa nodded.

"Exactly. And you're one to talk, Cloud. No one would expect you to love kids so much, either."

"At least I play with them," said Cloud. "I can't imagine Vincent Valentine at a playground. Actually, I can, but it's really ridiculous."

"Almost as ridiculous as the thought of Cid at a playground, but that used to happen a lot, anyway," said Yuffie.

"The kids adore him. Really."

"They adore Cloud, too," said Leon. "To be honest, it's always concerned me."

"What's wrong with me?"

"Let's just say you aren't 'kid-friendly'."

Cloud glared at Leon and went back to pushing his food around his plate.

"Cloud, are you up to more roofing tomorrow?" said Aerith. "Cid is making tons of progress, and he could use your help."

Cloud grunted.

"Poor baby," said Tifa, laughing.

"Is there a problem?" said Aerith.

"When I found Cloud today he was having a fight with the hammer."

"Let me guess," said Leon. "The hammer won?"

"You could say that," said Cloud. He held out his bruised fingers, cracked, and brushed with dried blood. Aerith smiled and shook her head.

"Leon, could you bring me a potion and a first-aid kit?"

"Is that a no, then?" said Cid.

"I'll help tomorrow. My fingers just hurt," said Cloud.

"That's what the potion is for," said Aerith. "They need cleaned up, though."

"Can't you clean up your own injuries?" said Leon.

"I can't hit a nail with a hammer without mutilating my fingers. Why are you surprised?"

"I'll help tomorrow," said Leon. He handed Aerith a potion bottle and the first aid kid before sitting next to Cloud. "Cloud can shovel gravel or help organize the townspeople or something . . ."

"I can do the roofing. Tifa can help organize the townspeople."

"Tifa does need a job to do, doesn't she?"

"I said I came to help out. Any job you want to pass my way is welcome," said Tifa. "Except, of course, if you wanted me to hold the nail while Cloud hammers."

"I don't think Aerith will let anyone except Cloud take that job."

"Thanks, Aerith," said Cloud.

She smiled, shook her head, and uncorked the potion bottle.

"Drink."

----------0----------

Most of the morning was spent on roofing. Cid and some of the other townsfolk got the frames up for many stores and homes in the town's borough and marketplace areas over the past few days. Houses extended past the marketplace toward where Cloud used to park his Gummi. Now Cloud and Leon had to finish them off.

When the plans for the Hollow Bastion Restoration were first drawn up, Cid went to work on providing power to the town. With the power grid outlined and built, all that needed to be done was connect the power to shops and houses once built. Everything worked out just as intended until today. If it weren't for Leon's good-intentioned yet wholly unpopular maneuver to take the first house for him and Cloud, they might not have got to work on fixing the problem in the early hours of the morning.

Leon was an early-riser. Cloud liked to sleep in, and while Cloud was content in his warm bed during the hazy hours of dawn, Leon was content to try and make breakfast. When the lights didn't turn on, the power in the refrigerator was off, and the stove wouldn't start, Leon woke everyone to share the news. Without breakfast, Cid stumbled outside to look over his blueprints and start making corrections.

Cloud was cranky. He had no breakfast, his knuckles were black and blue, and lunch consisted of an apple with a peanut butter sandwich. That's right. A peanut butter sandwich, jelly not included. Leon worked twice as fast as Cloud, and before he got started, managed to round up five members of the town that didn't seem to completely hate him for help.

Aerith handed out lunches to the workers, while Yuffie made sure the people in homes had food and were settled. Tifa helped homeless families plan for which houses they moved into, and took it upon herself to smooth things out between them and Leon. She didn't have much success at first (someone even dared to throw gravel at _her_), but by the afternoon, they adored her. One of them now called her "doll."

Cloud walked out of the marketplace in the opposite direction of the castle—in the direction he used to park his Gummi. Once upon a time, there were many homes out this way. People who preferred a quieter life than the hustle and bustle the marketplace and borough had to offer settled here. There was more land and space between homes, and not many tourists ventured this way.

Leon and two other men Cloud didn't know worked on the houses in the borough and marketplace. In the distance, the other three men Leon recruited worked on houses, finishing the roofs or adding the finishing touches to the interior. Cloud bent over, kneeled next to Cid's beaten, red toolbox, and grabbed a box of nails. His eyes drifted across the land, past the rebuilt homes to a large hill in the distance. Allowing his eyelids to drift closed, Cloud's thoughts returned to what lay beyond the hill and the little river that brought him comfort. Thoughts of Riku returned.

His face, his eyes, his skin, his hair, his voice . . .

"Daydreaming again? Aren't you supposed to be working? Lunch is over, y'know."

The illusion shattered, and Cloud glanced up at the figure casting a shadow over him.

"Hey, Cid. How's the power grid coming along?"

"Just about got it all fixed. Your fingers doing okay?"

Cloud grunted and held up his hands. Bruises ornamented his swollen knuckles, and three of his fingernails were cracked. Cid laughed.

"You know you're supposed to hit the nail and not your fingers, right?"

"I don't know! Maybe I'm so used to aiming for human body parts that my aim doesn't apply to inanimate objects. Wish it were someone else's fingers, though."

"I bet you do."

"So does this mean we'll have power tonight?"

"Should. Hope it lasts. I want to get this finished before it gets cold."

"Cold? It's been hot lately. At least as far as this place gets, anyway."

"Summer's last revenge before winter hits. It's already October, and you'll be freezing when November comes. Mark my words."

"Duly marked."

"Anyway, Aerith just sent me over here to let you know we're having a bonfire tonight."

"A bonfire?"

"Tifa's idea. Don't ask me. I have to get back to work, and so do you. Watch those fingers."

"I'm trying."

Cid nodded and turned away, walking back in the direction of town. Cloud watched his departure, but thoughts remained on the news Cid brought. A bonfire? Tifa's idea? What was she up to?

----------0----------

Cloud popped open the potion bottle and poured the contents down his throat. He winced. The stuff tasted liked acid, but it helped the pain in his hands.

"Give it, here," said Aerith. Cloud passed her the bottle, and she dropped it in the trash can. "Hand."

Cloud held his arm out and dropped his head, staring at the carpet.

"Are you ready to go yet?" said Tifa. "Leon, Cid, and Yuffie are already at the campsite. Leon's working on the fire, and Yuffie's already got the food."

"Did Cid get everything straightened out?" said Aerith. Tifa nodded.

"What do you mean by campsite?" said Cloud.

"Didn't Cid tell you?" said Tifa. "We're camping."

"I thought it was just a bonfire."

"What's a bonfire without camping?"

"And Leon agreed to this."

"Yep."

"I find this hard to believe."

"Leon isn't as cold as you think."

"I know Leon isn't cold. He's _my_ best friend."

Tifa cocked an eyebrow, smiled, and looked to Aerith.

"Okay."

"All done," said Aerith. She patted the bandages wrapped around his knuckles. "Is the campsite all set up, or should Cloud and I bring something along?"

"No, don't worry about it. Leon, Yuffie, and I took care of everything."

"You mean Leon was _in_ on it?" said Cloud.

"I don't know what you're so crabby about. You used to love camping. Now let's go before the sun rises, okay?"

Cloud wasn't crabby. He wasn't crabby as he followed Aerith and Tifa out of the house, through the marketplace, past Cid's new Gummi Garage, or over the hill to the river. No, he wasn't crabby at all.

"I can't believe you actually got him to come," said Leon.

"Isn't this great?" said Yuffie. "It's just like when we were kids."

"Yeah," said Cloud. "Great."

"He's crabby," said Tifa.

"No, I'm not."

"Come on," said Leon. "You had to expect it. I know I did."

"You _expected_ me to be crabby?"

"I knew you were crabby," said Tifa.

"Let's all just have a good time, okay?" said Aerith.

Cloud looked at the raging fire by the river. When they were young, the matron of the orphanage held a bonfire for the children once a month. Cid was often there, living so close by and spending so much time with the kids. Leon, Zack, and Cloud used to race around the fire playing swordfight while Aerith, Tifa, and Yuffie danced with the other little girls. Sometimes they told ghost stories, even though Mrs. Kramer sometimes thought it wasn't wise for children to be scared before bed.

"Look," said Leon, walking up to Cloud. He held out a skewer with a hot dog pierced to its end. "I know the last you were here was with you boyfriend. Tifa really wanted to do this, though. I mean, really, how long has it been since we've all been in the same place at the same time?"

"Long time. It's not all of us, though."

"No, but it's not Zack that's bothering you."

Cloud noticed Aerith, Tifa, Yuffie, and Cid watching them.

"It's everything that's bothering me."

"Yeah, okay, you have a point there. You were warming up, though. Just relax and have fun."

He shoved the skewer toward Cloud again and pointed to the fire.

"Go roast a hot dog and make Tifa happy."

Cloud looked from the skewer to Leon and burst into laughter.

"Is everyone so simple to please?"

"Not you."

Cloud smiled, grabbed the skewer, and walked over to his friends. He sat on one of the logs circling the fire, and Leon sat beside him. Tifa grinned.

"Decided to join us?"

"I guess I can put aside my crabby attitude for one night."

"It's going to be great," said Yuffie. "We'll tell ghost stories, and dance, and you and Leon can kick the crap out of each other."

"I'll tell ghost stories, but the dancing is up to you. And I'm not up for kicking the crap out of anyone."

"Yeah, I think I'll pass on that, too," said Leon. "It's not as fun to play when you're doing it for real."

"So how do you like hanging around here?" said Cloud.

"It's fun," said Tifa. "I like seeing everyone again, and helping with the restoration is really . . . I don't know. Brings back memories. Good ones. Bad ones. Mostly good ones."

"How is going with the homeless families?" said Leon.

"Since you can't go near them without risking life and limb," said Cloud.

"It's going great. I got invited to dinner at six of the families' homes once they move in."

"Leon got bruises from their excellent gravel-throwing skills."

Leon grunted.

"At least they have better aim than you."

"Doesn't work to your benefit, though."

"I like this," said Tifa, looking around at the group. "Everyone in the same place. Everyone working together. I was just wondering . . . Was anyone planning on rebuilding the orphanage?"

"I thought about it," said Aerith.

"I just think it'd be a great idea," said Tifa. "I mean, it did so much for us. With the Heartless . . . I bet there's a lot of kids looking for a home."

Cloud looked to the ground.

"You know," he said, "I think that's a great idea."

* * *

**_Double post. Continue, please._**


	29. Symbiosis

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 029. Bad

**Word Count**: 3,256

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku couldn't change who he was, so the darkness and the light within him would have to coexist. He wouldn't settle for anything less.

**Disclaimer**: None of the rights to Kingdom Hearts belong to me or anyone I personally know. It all belongs to Square Enix and Disney including the characters and most of the dialogue in this chapter. So there you go.

**Author's Note**: _Chain of Memories_ is a lot harder to write than KH1. Just thought I'd let you know.

* * *

**_Step Twenty-Nine: Symbiosis_**

Things just kept going from bad to worse. Riku wandered Halloween Town, thoughts ahead and behind. Never-ending questions raged, overpowering his senses. He swung the Soul Eater out of habit, but didn't think on it.

Did Ansem lie ahead when he saw the blinding light of the white corridor he was sure to enter after leaving this card-world? He needed to finish things . . . but could he? Was he strong enough? He didn't fear the darkness itself, but feared what it had done to him, where it led him, and what he lost because of it. He feared losing to Ansem again, and losing his heart. He feared his own weakness and inability to fight the darkness.

Behind him, more despair invaded his heart. Regret for what he said, how he reacted to the clone ate away at him. Between the accusatory tone, the smirk, the lengthy discussion on the merits of darkness, and physical features that did not belong on someone else, Riku felt he may have been a little rash.

He was shocked—angry, even. How was he supposed to act standing face to face with a boy who looked just like him, had the same talents and abilities, but a mind of his own? Ansem called him a model, and Riku thought that maybe he harbored a little resentment toward the replica. Logically, Riku knew that the clone never asked to be made. Knew nothing other than darkness, and probably didn't have a choice in whether he embraced it or not.

He should have been angry with the blond man—Vexen—who made the replica, and not the replica itself. Riku hung his head and sat on the ground of the room, now devoid of Heartless. He reached to his pocket, searching for a cigarette, but found nothing.

Why did he call the replica a fake? Sure, he was a copy, but he had valid thoughts and feelings. He was a fake version of himself, but a real person. Why did he react just as cocky and just as obnoxious as the replica? He felt ashamed when the realization struck that Riku must have sounded the same, smirked just as proud, and behaved just as arrogant as the clone had to him when he faced Sora. If he felt so ashamed, why would he turn around and throw it right back at the replica?

It was with humility that Riku thought that old habits die hard. He hadn't changed one bit.

When it came to tying before and after together, Riku wondered if his impulse to kill the fake—and his failure to realize it was only a hasty reaction, because the replica didn't deserve death for his existence—meant that the darkness wasn't as far behind him as thought. The clone suggested they would fight again, and that when the time came, Riku would be the one to lose. Thoughts of the replica taking over his life, and making it one of darkness overwhelmed him. He didn't stop and think. He didn't consider it an idle threat, or that it wasn't his identity the replica was after. He went for the throat, and allowed darkness to influence his decisions.

If that was how he reacted against a copy—a copy that knew he was a copy, and they just happened to share talents, ability, and physical appearance—what would he do against Ansem? The replica talked of how great the darkness was, called Riku a coward, but said he was "still new" when Riku won. He never said he was better, or what Riku _should _be. That was Ansem.

Riku stood, picked up the Soul Eater, and continued through Halloween Town, intent on finding Oogie Boogie. He would finish this thing against Ansem—for better or for worse. Shame, hasty decisions, and bad behavior could not be lingered upon. This wasn't the time to feel sorry for himself.

----------0----------

Riku stepped through the doorway and squinted, allowing his eyes to readjust to the white after the dim lighting in Halloween Town. When Riku opened his eyes again, he stared at the man standing across from him, tall, hulking, and carrying a tomahawk.

"That scent . . ." said Riku. "You're another 'nobody.'"

"You've done well to make it this far, Riku. Your reputation is well-deserved. But to be scared of the darkness . . . What a waste."

Riku frowned. The darkness cost him a lot. Just because he despised it didn't mean he was afraid.

"I'm . . . I'm not scared."

"I can see that you are. You have the potential to control it. Cast away the fear that weakens you. Unbind your heart, and take control of the darkness within."

Control the darkness? Unbind his heart? Yes, and then Ansem could sneak in again. Riku shook his head.

"And if I say no?"

"Then you end here—light, darkness, and all!"

Riku groaned at the sudden throbbing in his head and heart.

"See the power of darkness!" said the man. "I, Lexaeus, will not yield to a frail-hearted craven! Now, end your resistance, and let the darkness in!"

The battle was close. The entire floor shook, rocks fell around him, and Lexaeus swung the tomahawk with skill. Darkness rose within him, and he felt himself shift again into the darkened form. Eventually, Lexaeus fell, and Riku leaned over, propping his hands on his knees for support.

"Such . . . such power!" said Lexaeus.

Riku struggled to breathe. Where was Ansem, and who were these people so intent on forcing him to allow the darkness back into his heart? Darkness wasn't worth shit.

"What's wrong . . . Lexaeus . . . is that all . . . darkness can do?"

"Well . . . it seems . . . I am beaten. But the Organization shall triumph! I may perish, but all the darkness within me will billow forth and devour you!"

Lexaeus disappeared. The smell of darkness was overpowering, and then everything was dark, too. The ground shook. When Riku opened his eyes, again the darkness was still there. He sat up, looking for a source of light.

"What the . . . what . . . what happened? Where am I . . .?"

"I can see. I can see clearly!"

"Lexaeus?"

"Riku . . . I can see your heart . . ."

"No, it can't be . . . Darkness this foul could only belong to one person . . ."

"That's it, remember me . . . Let me drift into your heart . . ."

"Ansem!"

Ansem's laughter rang through Riku's ears.

"You called my name, Riku? You're thinking about me . . . You're afraid of the darkness I command. Good . . . The more you think of me, the closer my return draws. And when I awaken . . ."

Ansem appeared behind him. Sensing the presence, Riku turned to face him, the only thing visible in this dark place. Was this the world of darkness again?

"Your heart will be mine!"

"Riku, fight!" said a voice. "Don't let Ansem take you!"

Riku lifted his head.

"That voice," said Riku, and as he finished his sentence, King Mickey appeared between them. "Your Majesty!"

"Meddlesome king!" said Ansem.

King Mickey and Ansem disappeared, and Riku opened his eyes to find himself staring at a white ceiling. He was back in one of those blinding white hallways. Riku groaned and sat up.

"The king . . . protected me?" Riku stood and looked around the corridor. "Your Majesty, where are you? Please answer!"

Riku looked down to the floor. Why would the king care so much when all Riku did was disappoint? He touched a hand to his heart and allowed his eyes to fall shut.

"You're with me . . . aren't you . . .?"

Riku raised his eyes and looked to the staircase before him. No more cards lay in his hand or pocket. King Mickey intervened between him and Ansem. Riku didn't allow his thoughts to linger on what lay ahead. He had to keep moving. He had to get out of this place.

On the next floor was another, typical white hallway. No one was in sight. Riku sighed, hung his head, and then it snapped up again. Riku looked around.

"Huh? The air has changed . . . One of the scents has died—a really strong one."

Another figure appeared before him—another figured dressed in black with short, silvery-blue hair. He walked toward Riku.

"That was Marluxia, keeper of this castle. Ex-keeper, I should say. The Keyblade master just finished him off."

Riku frowned.

"Keyblade master . . . You mean Sora! Sora is here?"

"Would you like to see him? Or should I say, can you face him?"

"What does _that_ mean?"

All the riddles, all the digs, were getting to him. The man didn't seem to take offense, though. He smiled.

"Darkness and Ansem's shadow nest within your heart. Aren't you ashamed to face Sora in that state?"

"What—"

He should be _ashamed_ to see Sora? When he'd come so far, battled so much darkness, and his heart _overcame_ the darkness? When he helped Sora close the door to darkness? The man seemed to understand his thoughts.

"Sora's fate is to battle the darkness. As the hero of light, he must oppose hosts of the dark—in other words, you. If you don't believe me . . ."

He threw a card to Riku. His heart fell. Another card? A host of the dark? It was true he had darkness within him, but would Sora really . . .

"Then you had best see the truth for yourself."

Riku frowned and looked at the card in his hands. A familiar scene lay before him. He wondered many times through this castle what kind of people these were. Traverse Town, Monstro, Neverland, Hollow Bastion, Olympus Coliseum . . . they all tortured him, all seemed to get worse than the one before it. He didn't stop to think that there was only one world worse than the rest, worse than them all combined.

"This card! This is our—"

"Yes, your home."

The man disappeared, and Riku's eyes fell on the door before him. The door that would take him home. The home in his memories, anyway.

Riku walked forward and bit his lip. He held the card to the door and entered. His shoes touched sand, and the ocean breeze brushed across his skin. Riku glanced around at the scene, drinking it in. Paopu trees, the sound of the waves crashing atop one another, and rushing toward the shore. The unstable, moving ground that sand created shifted around and beneath Riku's feet.

"I never thought I'd miss the island winds so much . . ." said Riku. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent. "Funny—there was a time I couldn't wait to get off this rock. And now I'm acting all relieved." Eyes opened, he walked forward, and paused again. "Is that . . .? Hey!"

Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie would never know how much they were a sight for sore eyes at that very moment. Riku rushed to them.

"What's with you guys?" he said, staring at their blank faces and motionless figures. "I don't think I've _ever_ seen the three of you so quiet." Riku smiled. "What? Is there something on my face?"

They continued to stare, unmoving, and then disappeared. Riku jumped forward.

"Guys?"

They didn't reappear. Riku walked forward, explored the island, but like so many worlds before, encountered Heartless and nothing else. Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka were nowhere to be found. Riku entered a door with one of those gold cards he'd become well-acquainted with in the other card-worlds.

Both sadness and joy ebbed through his body in this card-world. He mourned for the doors, proof of his pre-existing knowledge that this world was not real. He wasn't really home. Joy at feeling the ocean wind and the sand moving beneath his feet, however, filled his heart. Riku longed for home.

He passed through the door, and walked across the bridge to his island. He placed a hand on the memory of his favorite paopu tree, and looked across the ocean. Turning his head, Riku glanced back to the bridge to find he was no longer alone.

"Kairi!" Riku left his paopu tree and ran over to her. "Hey, Kairi, don't tell me you—"

He was about to express his surprise that like he and Sora, she was in this castle, too, but she faded before he got the chance. Riku rolled his head back, groaned, and then dropped his head, eyes fixated on the ground.

"No . . . no . . . _no_!"

"Surely you knew this would happen."

Riku raised his head and turned. It was the man with the silvery-blue hair again.

"Why would I know that?"

"You've been to a number of worlds in your memory before this one. And in those worlds, you met only dark beings. That's all that's left in your heart: dark memories. Your memories of home are gone—each and every one."

Riku's head swam. He _had_ only met dark beings in the card-worlds before, but he didn't see the good ones, either. He didn't see a figure of Cloud that failed to move or speak before disappearing, and he didn't see one of Sora, either. Destiny Islands and all the good it contained _was_ in his heart. He fixed his eyes on the man's.

"That's a lie! I remember everyone from the Islands! Tidus and Selphie and Wakka . . . Kairi and Sora, too! They're my . . . my . . . They're my friends . . ."

"And who threw away those friends? Maybe it's your own actions that you forgot. You destroyed you home."

The scenery changed. The sky grew black and the Islands appeared before him, ransacked. Trees were destroyed. Lightning raced through the sky. Fear seeped into Riku's heart.

"This is . . . that night!"

"The islands you grew up on were sundered, scattered . . . Many hearts were lost to the darkness. Because of what _you_ did!"

An image of Riku—not the replica, but Riku that very night—appeared. He watched as the storm raged, and the haughty, but unconcerned look on his own face as a bolt of lightning raced behind his head. Riku swallowed.

"N—No . . ."

"You hated being an islander cut off from other worlds. So you opened the door to darkness and destroyed the islands. _You_ did that! And now you belong to the darkness. Look at what you are!"

The image of himself transformed, stretched, grew, and Darkside loomed over him. Riku's breath hitched, and he took a step back.

"This . . . this can't be me . . ."

Darkside attacked, and Riku defended. He couldn't concentrate . . . couldn't focus . . . the man's worlds replayed . . . over and over . . .

Riku did defeat Darkside, but his breathing was staggered and weak. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. Was he always such a horrible person? Riku turned and locked eyes with Sora. He stood in a fighting stance, rushed forward, attacked, but Riku blocked.

"Sora?"

Sora rushed forward again, attacked, but Riku parried.

"Stop it, Sora! Don't you recognize me?"

"Yeah, I recognize you. I can see exactly what you've become."

Riku swallowed and averted his eyes. Sora rushed forward, attacked, and Riku fell back.

"Look at you, shrinking away from the light . . ." said Sora. "You're not Riku anymore. You're just a pawn of the darkness. So be it. It's time for you to face the light."

Destiny Islands disappeared from his vision. The light was blinding, but then Riku felt himself drifting, floating in nothingness . . . Maybe there was more darkness in him than Riku thought.

"I'm . . . fading . . . consumed by the light . . ."

"You won't fade."

Riku searched for the voice and found Kairi standing before him.

"You can't fade," said Kairi. "No power can defeat you—not the light, not the dark. So don't run from the light—and don't fear the darkness. Both will make you stronger."

Riku stared at her. The light would make him stronger, sure, but . . .

"Darkness, too?"

"Especially darkness. Because that power is yours alone. The darkness in your heart is vast and deep . . . but if you can stare into it unflinching, you'll never know fear again."

Never know fear again. Riku could accept the darkness without fear . . . Lexaeus said it himself. It wasn't the darkness, but the fear that weakened him. It was opening his heart to the darkness rather than accepting the darkness that was already there. He looked Kairi over, searching for a sign of trickery, but he felt no darkness radiate from her.

"All this time I've been pushing the darkness away . . ."

"Just be brave. Know that the darkness is there and don't give in. Do that, and you'll gain strength unlike any other. You'll be able to escape the deepest darkness—"

"—And I'll be able to see through the brightest light . . ."

Riku smiled.

"Follow the darkness, Riku. It'll show you the way to the friends you miss."

The friends . . . Sora, Tidus, Wakka, Selphie, Cloud . . .

"But can I face them . . ."

"You don't want to?"

"You know I do." The fear crept in, but Riku looked up at Kairi and smiled. "And I will! The darkness—my darkness—will show me the way! Darkness, awaken!"

The dark powers overtook him, and Riku followed the trace of darkness through the blinding light. Destiny Islands reappeared before him and he faced Sora. He'd be damned if he was going to be taken by both the darkness and the light because he was unable to achieve a balance. It would be work keeping it that way, but that was a concern for later.

"Im . . . impossible!"

Sora faded and shifted into the man with the silvery-blue hair.

"How did you find me in the light?"

"You reek of the dark. Even the light can't block out the smell. I followed the darkness right to you!"

"Heh . . . After all your protests you're still just another darkling."

Riku smiled and shrugged.

"I know who I am."

The man could try to tell him differently, but Riku wasn't in the mood for his games anymore.

"Since when? You were terrified of the dark before—"

"I'm not now!"

This time, he believed it as he rushed forward to take the man down.

"Hypocrite!"

Riku slashed through the air. The man was gone.

"He got away."

Riku turned and left the room. He fought the Heartless, made his way through the rest of Destiny Islands. It wasn't real, and he wasn't going to let it get to him, either. Everything he felt, everything he believed led him back to the same place. Riku held light and dark within him, and they could coexist without falling to the dark or consumed in the light.

No, they _would_ coexist. They had to. Riku couldn't change who he was, and he couldn't fear it, either.

* * *

**_So I said there would be more today, and here it is. Double post and all._**

**_Reviews!_**

**Lapse-Raevn**: I would like to second your "Blah" on the Riku as Ansem in KH2 thing. And that's going to take up a large part of the one-hundred chapters. So blah to that, too. Riku with a tail . . . I couldn't bring myself to write it. I'd ruin it and make it sound weird, but yeah . . . Riku with a tail. Or fin, to be more appropriate. Yeah, he didn't get to see Cloud, but that will make it all the better when he sees the real Cloud again. Sleep is healthy for you, or at least I think it is. I don't know. I don't do it often.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: Yeah, Riku has to go through bad stuff to become a better person, I guess. Force him to grow up. I agree that Riku is strong. He has his moments of weakness, but we all do, and that simply makes him human. Sorry there are more cards, but Disney and Square say it is so.

**Chalice of Chelsea**: When I read your review, I went and looked up your author profile. Saw you had _Hogwarts Slander_ on your favorites. Made me smile. Yeah, the longest story I ever wrote was a Harry/Draco way back in the day before I discovered Ron/Draco, and the most complicated story I ever wrote was my Ron/Draco epic, _The Prophecy of Absconditus_. The Harry/Draco, entitled _Falling_, was 48 chapters including the prologue and the epilogue. _Abscon_, as I affectionately call it, was only 24. I'm in over my head with this one, I think, but I'm doing a good so far. I hope. Yeah, definitely even more over the weekend. Well, actually, it's going to be here Monday morning because I'll write Sunday night/Monday morning and then post. I'm looking forward to Cloud/Riku fluffiness, too. My goal right now is just to get Riku out of Castle Oblivion. It's taking longer than I thought it would. The only plot I have for the rest of this story is KH2, and right now I'm working on figuring out how to lead into it. I also have a very shaky idea for the last couple of chapters after KH2 ends. As for Cloud, I have no idea what I'm doing.

**Tolkienologist**: Yeah, I definitely think I will work on my novel. I'm sorry, but I can't take credit for the cleverness of tying the prompt fear into fear of darkness. It happened by accident. I knew the prompt was fear, but I had no idea there was so much discussion about it in the parts I needed to write next. It fell into my lap, but I guess I did a good job at pacing this story so it would fall into my lap. I hope this happens more often. Kind of like how the prompt bad just fell on a Riku chapter. That was a good thing, too.

**jediempress**: Yeah, I thought Cloud and Riku would get along, too. Hence the story. Hence my work to make this all make sense. I hope Cloud isn't getting too OOC for you, seeing as how he's still moody, but chattier. I don't know. I worry about that a little bit, but I think it works (the same goes for Leon), because they talk more the longer they're around everyone. Opening up a little, I guess. Not that Cloud won't put his head back into the sand or anything, but you know . . . I'm rambling. Must stop. Anyway, I'm glad you gave the story a try and liked it. Those experiences tend to be really great, or at least they have been for me.

**Lady Karai**: Thank you for mentioning the CoM dialogue sparsity issue. I knew it was there, but I was afraid I was taking away from the dialogue by digging so much into Riku's head. Maybe breaking up the dialogue too much to make the conversation flow. I tried to fix it in this chapter. Chain of Memories is so much harder to play with than the first game because Riku is by himself most of the time.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: No need to worry. My week gets occupied by so many other things that it gets too hard to find the five hours or so it takes to sit down, write, edit, and post. I try to make up for it when my best friend is gone and my family doesn't require as much attention. Not to sound like a desperate CloudxRiku fangirl, but you _should_ write one. Help out the cause. Heh. I want a C2, a LiveJournal community, and a small army for this fandom (okay, I'd like a bigger army, but let's set somewhat realistic goals, shall we?). Anyway, thank you for noticing the quotes are correct and commenting on it. I spent weeks watching the cutscenes, pausing, and writing the sentences word for word in a notebook for the first game. I spent a week playing Chain of Memories on my crappy gameboy, pausing, and writing down everything said in Reverse/Rebirth all the way down to correct punctuation, facial expression, and body movement. I'm going to do the same thing for KH2. It's nice to know someone noticed. CoM was the only one I played for a long time, too, cause I could only afford a Gameboy (which I bought just for KH, too), but then I bought a PS2 just so I could play the first game. Then the second one came out and I was so happy that Axel was in 3D and not pixelated. I want that 3-D version of CoM when it comes out more than I can express. I hate Gameboy. I liked the Riku not finding Cloud scene, too.

**Koji Inari**: Yeah, I worried that maybe this story wouldn't be as great as I thought it would be because . . . uh, well, it's kind of obvious what's going to happen. For someone who's played all three games, or even just the PS2 ones, the story is already set. Cloud was obviously not going to beat Sephiroth. Riku was going to get possessed, close the door to darkness, and . . . yeah. It's just nothing is a big surprise. I think that maybe it works because of the perspective. It also probably helps that you get to see everything that (I wish) went on behind the scenes. As for Winnie the Pooh: Kingdom Hearts destroyed any fond memories of Pooh bear that I may have had a child. Tigger is the devil. Pooh is a dumbass. Piglet needs to shut up. Rabbit can live.

**_I'm overly ambitious. I have some idea what I'm writing for the next Cloud and the next Riku chapters. I do. And since both of the previous statements are true, I'm going to do something I know I probably shouldn't do (if only because it means I will deprive myself of sleep):_**

**_I will double post tomorrow morning. Not a maybe. I will. There will be a fancy little double post sitting here tomorrow morning._**

**_Yep._**

**_I'm going to write two chapters tonight after I sleep, after I clean my room, and after I brush my cat._**

**_Promise._**

**_(If only because Riku needs to get out of Castle Oblivion before I start to cry for him . . .)_**


	30. Defense

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 030. Good

**Word Count**: 2,197

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Despite flaring tempers, a lot of good was happening in Hollow Bastion. Families were getting homes, orphaned children were going to get a chance at a family, and Leon gives Cloud the opportunity to learn how to use a hammer.

**Disclaimer**: Not my toys. I borrow, but it's okay, I can share, too.

**Author's Note**: I've had this Leon, Cloud, and the hammer scene in my head for several days now. I'm so happy it's written so that now I can share it will all of you. Much like how I'll feel when I finally get to write the end.

* * *

**_Step Thirty: Defense_**

The bonfire raged late into the night. Tifa talked for hours about life in Midgar, Marlene and Denzel, and the progress of her relationship with Vincent Valentine. She didn't back down until Cloud promised to visit sometime soon despite his many efforts to remind Tifa that he didn't like Midgar, it brought back a lot of horrible memories, and it made him think about Sephiroth.

Other than the promise Cloud wished he wasn't pressured into making, it was a good time. Though nothing would ever be like it once was—back in times when they were all still children and doing bad things meant sneaking sweets from the orphanage kitchen—Cloud realized they never lost the ties between them. It was nostalgic to sit by the roaring fire, and Cloud could almost hear children's laughter and voices in song above the crackling fire.

Conversation about Vincent Valentine turned to Riku, though, when Tifa turned to Cloud and asked, "So now that I've talked about _my_ boyfriend, has there been any news with yours?"

Aerith and Yuffie fell silent and turned their eyes to Cloud. Cid scratched the back of his neck and stared at the ground. Leon dropped his skewer in the fire, jumped up, and tried to fish it out.

"There go your marshmallows," said Cloud.

"Did I say something wrong?" said Tifa.

"I haven't heard anything."

"Nothing?"

"Nope."

Tifa frowned and cast her eyes to Leon, who sat down next to Cloud again. When he noticed Tifa looking at him, he averted his eyes.

"Did I miss something?"

"Leon saved his marshmallows."

"Look, I know Leon said the Heartless got your boyfriend and you don't know whether he's alive or dead, but . . . I've been meaning to ask . . . how long has it been?"

Cloud shrugged and looked at the ground.

"Don't know. I've lost count."

"About a month, maybe?" said Leon. Cloud lifted his head.

"A month? Really?"

"Well, it was about a week between when it happened and the Hades Cup. Another week between the Hades Cup and when you fought Sephiroth. Then we came back to Hollow Bastion, and we've been working on the town for about two weeks. That's a month, right?"

Cloud stared into the fire.

"It feels so much longer, but . . ."

"It's like you just talked to him," said Leon. Cloud nodded.

"A month is a really long time to not hear from someone," said Tifa. "Especially someone fighting the Heartless. Maybe . . . maybe it's time to move on, Cloud."

Cloud clenched his jaw and hunched over, allowing his forearms to rest on his thighs. Leon passed him the skewer.

"Marshmallow?"

"Cloud . . ." said Tifa.

"I don't think Cloud really wants to talk about this right now," said Leon.

"Don't you think a month is a little long? He can't beat himself up over it."

"Listen, you don't know this guy he's dating. This kid is strong, and stubborn, and a real pain in the ass from what I gather. He's not going to back down without a fight. If it takes him _two_ months to regain control of himself, I still wouldn't tell Cloud to give up."

"I didn't say that he should give up. I said he should move on."

"It's the same thing. You want him to give up the hope that his boyfriend is going to come back . . ."

"His boyfriend. This guy. This kid. Who _is_ this mysterious boyfriend, anyway, and why doesn't anyone want to give him a name?"

"Because we promised him we wouldn't!"

"We?" said Aerith. "You've talked to him?"

"And you said _I'm_ an atrocious secret-keeper," said Cloud.

Leon sighed. Cloud took the skewer and popped a marshmallow into his mouth.

"Yeah, I've talked to him. He's a good guy. He and Cloud have a _lot_ in common, and considering Cloud's been away for months at a time fighting Sephiroth, I'm _not_ worried about . . . you know . . . his boyfriend . . . being gone for a month. We haven't seen Sora in two weeks, but no one's worried about that."

"Two weeks is a lot less than a month," said Tifa. "And Cloud isn't away for a month fighting Sephiroth. He's away for months _looking _for Sephiroth."

"Cloud is still here, guys," said Cloud. "He can hear you."

"I just wouldn't keep my hopes up anymore. _Your boyfriend_ is probably gone for good, and it's not going to help you to sit around and feel bad about it. You need to move on."

"Don't speak like that to him just because you're pissed off at me," said Leon. "_His boyfriend_ could be anywhere and unable to call because he doesn't have his fucking phone."

"Let's all calm down," said Aerith. "Tifa, we understand and appreciate your views. I know you're just worried about Cloud, and there's nothing wrong with that. No one wants Cloud to keep his hope longer than he should. Leon, it's obvious you know more about the situation his boyfriend is in than the rest of us do. I know you don't think Cloud should give up because you don't think it's been long enough yet. Without more information, no one can pass any judgments on who is wrong and who is right. Only time will tell that. Cloud, we know you're still here."

Cloud cracked a smile.

"Ever the peacemaker," he said.

Leon stood, grunted, and walked past the fire to their tent. Cloud followed.

"I'm sorry," said Tifa, as Cloud passed. He smiled.

"It's okay."

Cloud pulled the flap aside and walked into the tent. Leon sat on the left side on his sleeping bag. On the other side of the tent, a second sleeping bag lay out, and Cloud sat upon it. Between the two 'beds' was a kerosene lamp.

"Where was that back-up when she was badgering me into visiting Midgar?" said Cloud.

Leon shrugged.

"You should visit Midgar, if only for the kids' sakes."

"Yeah, I know . . . uh . . . thanks . . . for that . . ."

"Tifa pisses me off."

"Did you really mean all that, or . . . I don't know. Do you think I should just move on? That maybe he's never really coming back?"

Leon sighed.

"I don't know, Cloud, but I know it isn't Tifa's place to tell you when you should. She's hardly been around, and she knows absolutely nothing about what happened. Even Aerith, Yuffie, Cid . . . Hell, _we_ don't even really know what happened. The only person who does is Riku, but we know as far as Sora's told us, and that's a hell of a lot more than Tifa. She had no place to judge."

"I think you're more riled up about it than I am."

Leon shrugged.

"I don't know if Riku's alive. I don't know if you should keep waiting for him. I do know that we haven't seen Sora, either, and that's a good sign. Nothing's going to take out Sora without us knowing—he's the Keyblade master. If Sora came back and said he thought Riku was gone, then I'd tell you to give up hope. Until then . . . I guess anything is possible."

"But if Sora did destroy Ansem, and the worlds were restored, won't the walls between the worlds go back up? And if that already happened . . ."

"As long as the Heartless exist, there will be a way to pass between the worlds. There will just be different routes. Different coordinates. Gummi ships will have to go different ways, and the paths won't be as easy to find. Riku's a smart boy. He'd figure it out."

"I thought you told Sora that you may never see each other again.'

"I did. I didn't say we wouldn't."

Cloud smiled as Leon turned down the kerosene lamp between them.

"Thanks."

"Go to sleep, Cloud."

----------0----------

With the bonfire cleaned up, the power fixed, and the final plans finished for where the rest of the homes would be built, Tifa, Aerith, and Cid went to work on plans to rebuild the orphanage. The plans—and promise of an eventual reality—for the orphanage's resurrection settled in Cloud's heart with warmth. It didn't go without a little pain, but the idea of giving children a home like he once had where they could make friends, find families, or the chance to form families of their own was a good thing—a hopeful thing.

"You're working in the marketplace today," said Leon, pointing to one of the men.

Leon worked on dividing yesterday's volunteers and some more that Aerith and Yuffie recruited during lunch-break the day before. All the homes in town were finished, but there was still interior work that needed done regarding electric, water, paint, and furnishings. Once he gave everyone jobs to do within the marketplace, borough, and beyond, he turned to Cloud.

"Today, I'm going to teach you how to use a hammer."

Cloud swallowed.

Leon grabbed two toolboxes and handed one to Cloud. He walked in the direction of the town's outskirts, and looked back.

"Don't just stand there. Come on."

They walked past the marketplace, through the field, and past the houses that were finished yesterday. People were already there to work on gardening, painting, wiring, plumbing, and the finishing touches. Tifa stood beside him with two families, discussing moving arrangements, and Aerith took notes on furniture needs.

"The roofing on these houses still need finished," said Leon. He grabbed a ladder lying in the grass and propped it up against the building. "After you."

Cloud pulled his hammer and a box of roofing nails from the toolbox and climbed up the ladder. Cid and two other men from the town started the roofs, but it was Cloud and Leon's job to finish them. Unfortunately, Cloud mutilated his fingers, and now Leon was going to teach him how to use a hammer. Cloud hung his head and refused to meet Leon's eyes. If this wasn't the most embarrassed he ever felt before Leon, the last incident was so horrible Cloud must have erased it from his memory.

"Now watch and do as I do," said Leon.

He placed the nail at one of the markings, held it in place, and gave the head a few short taps before widening the distance, moving his fingers away, and driving the nail into the roof. He repeated the process a second and third time. His fingers were still in tact.

"Your turn."

Cloud sighed. He pulled a nail from the box, placed it at the marking, and grabbed his hammer. After taking a deep breath, he tapped the nail like he'd seen Leon do, and then widened the distance. The hammer missed his fingers, but slammed into the roof. The nail, which fell when Cloud released it, rolled off the roof and into the grass. He looked at Leon.

"Try it again. Hit a little harder in the beginning and don't let it go so soon."

Cloud grabbed another nail from the box and held it to the same marking. He tapped harder at first, widened the distance, and let the nail go. It stayed stuck into the roof. Cloud took a deep breath and went to hit the nail again. It popped out and rolled off into the grass. Leon laughed.

"Try it again. That was better. Don't let it go so soon, though. Give it a few more hits next time."

Cloud placed the third nail at the marking and repeated the process. He widened the distance between the nail, brought the hammer down, and slammed it onto his thumb. Cloud released a string of curse words, forming a threat that wasn't anatomically possible. Leon stared.

"Maybe you should help Cid instead."

"Oh, sure, send me to work with electricity, next. That's all I need."

"You could plant trees. Or are you as bad with a shovel as you are with a hammer?"

"This is why I was handing Cid his tools in the first place!"

"You could paint. Would you like that?"

"Girls plant trees and paint. I'm a man. I have brute strength."

"Which would be great if it was the nail and not your fingers feeling your wrath."

"Fuck off."

"There's plumbing."

"Plumbing requires tools."

"Hate to break this to you, Cloud, but all the 'man jobs' require tools."

Cloud frowned. He grabbed another nail, held it to the marking, and succeeded in hitting his fingers twice and the roof seven times before it sank the entire way in. Leon patted his back.

"Which 'girl job' do you want?"

"Can't I shovel gravel again?"

"That's all taken care of."

"Not past the borough. We have to work on the bailey and out to the castle and . . ."

"Our first priority is the homes and the orphanage. There will be plenty of time to shovel gravel later."

"Can't I just hand Cid his tools again?"

"Cloud . . ."

Cloud sighed and handed Leon the hammer.

"Where's my paintbrush?"

"Good boy."

* * *

**_Here's the double post I promised. Read on, my dears . . ._**


	31. From Twilight to the Dawn

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 031. Art

**Word Count**: 4,336

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku has a lot of choices to make. Most people never knew what it was like to watch yourself die.

**Disclaimer**: .:snort:. I wish, okay? If only for the money . . .

**Author's Note**: I was very excited to write this as I want to get Riku out of Castle Oblivion before I drag _Chain of Memories _on longer than it needs to be. I really like this part. Yeah, I do. That and it was so much fun to write the end. I mean, honestly . . . oh, I won't spoil it here. Just read on.

* * *

**_Step Thirty-One: From Twilight to the Dawn_**

Riku left the fake Destiny Islands card-world through the door into the white hallway. Somehow, the light didn't seem as blinding. Still card-less, he braced himself for an encounter, a man in a black coat, the man with the silvery-blue hair, anything . . . He walked across the hallway, and when he wasn't intercepted, he walked up the stairs.

"Riku . . . Riku . . ."

Right on cue, a voice cut through the empty hallway on the next floor.

"Who's there?" said Riku. His eyelids fell closed; he could have slapped himself. He should have expected Ansem. "Of course, that voice!"

"I know you can feel it, Riku—the grip I have on your heart. You've let the darkness in. And all-consuming darkness is what your heart shall become!"

"I'm not like that anymore!"

"I think you are."

Riku's breath hitched when he floated into the air. His feet didn't touch the ground . . . he couldn't turn his head . . . Panic seeped into his heart.

"I . . . I can't move."

Hope pushed away the panic when he discovered he could, at least, still speak.

"The deeper the darkness runs in you, the stronger I become. Controlling your body is an effortless task."

Just as Ansem got rolling on another one of his dark tirades, the bright orb of light appeared. The hope in Riku's heart swelled.

"Gah . . ." said Ansem. "You, interfering again!"

"Golly, I'm glad I made it in time! That should keep Ansem tied up for a while."

Riku felt his feet hit the floor, and he lifted his arm. He could move again. The sound of shuffling feet caught his attention, and Riku looked up to see King Mickey approach.

"Sorry I couldn't come sooner, Riku," said King Mickey.

"Your Majesty, it's you!"

"You betcha."

Riku frowned, cocked his head, and almost laughed. The king obviously didn't get what he meant. A cocky grin spread across Riku's face. He reached out and poked King Mickey in the side.

"Huh . . . Hey! Cut it out, that tickles!"

Riku laughed.

"This time you're real. No illusions. I'm so glad you came."

"I promised, didn't I?"

Riku nodded and collapsed on the floor. He leaned back and drew in a deep breath. King Mickey's eyes grew wide, and he rushed to Riku's side.

"Don't worry," said Riku. "I'm okay. Just really relieved, that's all. I've been alone so long that having someone else around is a little . . . overwhelming. But how did you get here, Your Majesty?"

"This card showed me the way," said King Mickey. He held out another world card. "I was lookin' for a way out of the realm of darkness, and then this card came along. As soon as I picked it up, it showed me your heart, way out beyond the darkness. And that's how I tracked you down. I guess the card thought it belonged with you."

As Riku was card-less, and here was King Mickey holding out a card, he shrugged. Riku took the card and stood.

"Maybe you're right."

He looked at King Mickey, nodded, and walked up the stairs to the next door. The town on the card was one he didn't recognize. This couldn't be made from his memories, but it was a card, so Riku held it out and entered.

"Where am I?" said Riku, looking around the foreign town. "I don't remember this place. Your Majesty, do you know where we are?" There was no answer; Riku looked down. King Mickey was gone. "Your Majesty?"

"His Majesty is not here," said Ansem as he appeared before Riku. "You must battle me and the darkness alone!"

Riku frowned, narrowed his eyes, and drew the Soul Eater. Ansem made no effort to attack, and Riku allowed his weapon to lower. Something was off.

"Giving up already? Then accept your fate and accept Ansem as your master!"

"You're not Ansem. Your scent—it's different. The Ansem in my heart smells darker, more foul. But not you. It's not darkness I smell, it's . . . something else."

The figure posing as Ansem did not move or speak, but stood there, watching Riku, as if waiting for him to finish his thoughts. Was this a test? Riku stared and cocked his head. The smell was so familiar . . .

"I know. You're the one who guided me when this all started. You pretended to be Ansem and gave me the card, to make me face the darkness."

"Correct," said Ansem. The illusion faded and a man stood in his place, red bandages wrapped entirely around his head and face except for his lips and eyes. "Call me DiZ—it's as good a name as any. I've been watching you all along."

"Who are you really? What do you want from me?"

"I want you to choose."

"Choose?"

"You are special. You exist between light and dark. You stand in the twilight. I want you to meet Naminé, then choose."

"Naminé? Who's that?"

"You'll just have to meet her and find out."

One of the golden cards he had grown to associate with battle and unpleasant confrontations appeared in his hand. When he looked up, DiZ was gone.

"Hey, wait a sec!"

No one answered, and Riku groaned. He pulled the Soul Eater out and headed through the next door. It was just as he suspected. DiZ, Naminé, King Mickey . . . no one was to be found except for a slew of Heartless, and Riku imagined he wouldn't meet up with anyone again until the golden card in his pocket opened a door emblazoned with a key.

----------0----------

The golden card door led to a clearing. Iron-wrought gates loomed ahead, bound by a large, heavy lock. Beyond these gates and into the distance stood an old mansion with two large windows on the second floor. Riku approached the gates and stared through the bars.

"Maybe Naminé is in here."

"Hold it, Real Thing."

Riku looked over his shoulder and smiled as the replica walked over to him and stood by the gates.

"Well, well. You've changed. Last time we met you were afraid of the darkness, but not anymore."

Riku felt a thank you probably wasn't what the replica was going for, but he smiled anyway.

"How can you tell?"

"Because I'm you."

"No, _I'm _me."

He was joking, of course. Yes, it was true that he and the replica were different people, but it was meant to be friendly banter. Apparently, Vexen didn't give the clone a sense of humor. He glared and huffed.

"'I'm me,' he says. It must be nice, being real. A fake like me could never get away with saying that."

Riku's eyes widened. He was still sore about that? An apology was on his tongue, but the clone continued, and Riku closed his mouth.

"That's right, I'm a phony! The way I look, the way I feel, everything!" The clone glowed in a familiar light, and Riku's eyes grew wider. The darkness . . . "I thought by finding some new strength I could be someone, someone who's not you! But nothing changes . . . I'm still just empty!"

Riku took a step back. Vexen did better with the clone than Riku thought. It would have been funny in another time if it wasn't real, but here was another version of him, and Riku thought it was only on the outside. He wasn't just a carefully constructed reproduction forced to live in darkness; he _was _Riku himself, stuck in these twisted circumstances. Riku's father once told him that each human being was an original work of art, like snowflakes. No two were alike, and that all the things Riku loved and hated about himself were what made him special and unique—someone that could never be reproduced.

If Riku ever saw his father again, he'd have to tell him how wrong he was. Even Riku's replica needed to be needed, needed to be something special. He succumbed to the power of darkness to gain strength. Riku took another step back and drew his Soul Eater just as the replica did. If this other boy was really him, Riku had a feeling what was coming . . .

"Everything about me is borrowed," said the replica. "As long as you're around, I'll never be anything better than a shadow."

Riku had hoped he wouldn't say that.

The replica's strength had grown, but he remained predictable. They shared all the same attacks, and the same knowledge on how to stop them. Riku's back and shoulders ached, but he swung the Soul Eater at the clone. He didn't want to kill him, but the clone wasn't backing down, and Riku's fight instinct overpowered his flight instinct. That instinctual balance held true for the replica as well. Riku liked the clone—held sympathy for him because it was so unfair to give all his insecurities and problems to another human being—but Riku didn't like him enough to lay down and die so the little fucker could steal his identity.

The replica screamed as Riku's weapon made contact with his side. He fell over, grasping at it. The Soul Eater dropped to the grass, and Riku ran over to his side. There was blood everywhere. Riku's stomach felt as if it dropped and jumped to his throat. Most people never know what it's like to watch yourself die.

"So . . . this is the end," said the replica. "Figures. But I'm not afraid. Good riddance to an artificial life. I never had a real heart. Even what I'm feeling now is probably fake."

Riku hung his head. He felt wetness on his cheeks.

"What are you feeling?"

"What happens when someone who's not real dies? Where will my heart go? That is, if it doesn't disappear completely . . ."

Riku kneeled next to the replica and looked into his eyes. The aquamarine shade darkened to a teal.

"It'll go somewhere. Probably the same place my heart will go."

The replica laughed. Riku tried to smile.

"How original. Oh, well."

The replica disappeared, and with him, the blood. No evidence remained that the replica was ever there at all. A gold card appeared in Riku's hand. He pocketed in and dropped his head to his knees.

No, Riku didn't think most people ever knew what it was like to watch yourself die.

----------0----------

The second gold card opened the door to a simple, white room with a flower-like pod in the center. A petit blond girl in a simple white dress stood before the pod. This girl . . . her scent . . .

"You're Naminé?"

She turned to look at him and smiled.

"Yes."

"So . . . that was you."

"Huh?"

"Nothing, never mind."

"Please . . . come this way."

She took his arm and Riku followed her over to the pod. As he approached, the figure of a body floating inside caught his attention, and as he stood beside it, his eyes grew.

"Hey! It's Sora! What did you do to him?"

"Nothing, he's just sleeping. He has to, to get his memories back."

"Tell me what happened."

Naminé hung her head and then she relayed the story. She was a witch who never lived an entire life. She was created, and had the power to affect Sora's memories and the memories of those aligned with him. She didn't know why she had it, but it was there all the same. Marluxia—the keeper of the castle—found her, and brought her here. He was a member of Organization XIII, the same Organization that Lexaeus spoke of, and all the men in the black hooded coats belonged. Marluxia intended to overthrow the Organization's Superior, take the group over, and he wanted to use Sora to achieve his goal. Naminé altered his memories, made him forget all about Kairi, made him forget everything, and planted false memories of herself in their place. Sora was supposed to try and save her, and then she would hand him over to Marluxia.

She didn't want to deceive him, didn't think it was right, but Marluxia was going to keep her prisoner in this castle—Castle Oblivion—if she didn't comply. She said she was lonely. Told him that Sora forgave her when she revealed her deception, and that a member of the Organization named Axel gave her the chance to set things right and restore Sora's memory, but it meant that he'd have to go to sleep for a long time. When he did awaken, he'd have no memories of this castle or what happened within it.

"So that's what happened," said Naminé.

"I see . . . Sora chose to forget about this castle and get back his old memories."

"You have a decision to make, too."

"Why? No one's been messing with my memories."

"It's not about your memories. It's about your darkness. In your heart is darkness, and in that darkness is Ansem. Right now, he's at bay . . . but eventually he'll awaken and he'll conquer you when he does. Before that happens, let me lock your heart tight. I can make it so Ansem never escapes."

"And what happens to me if I let you do that? Will I forget everything, like Sora?" Riku searched her face, but she averted her eyes. "I will, won't I?"

"The darkness in your heart will be sealed along with you memory. You'll stop remembering the darkness. You can go back to the way you used to be. It's you choice, Riku. So . . . choose."

"Sora looks like he hasn't got a care in the world. Will I sleep that well?"

"Yes."

Forget the darkness? Just when he accepted it, and knew he could make the light and dark live in harmony? Not finish off Ansem? And forget everything that happened? Cloud . . . the replica . . . the strength within himself that Riku never knew was there . . .

"Sora always did as he pleased. It didn't matter what we were doing—he'd still go off and leave me with all the work. Take the raft we were gonna use to leave the islands. That was all me. I've made up my mind. When this slacker wakes up, I'm gonna tell him off good. I told him to take care of Kairi and here he is taking a nap! But I can't chew him out if I've been sleeping, too. Keep your lock. I'd rather just finish Ansem off once and for all."

"But if the darkness he wields gets the better of you . . ."

"I'll make that darkness show me the way."

"That's true."

"Why do I get the feeling you knew I'd say that?"

"I didn't know. I hoped. I want you to face the darkness, because you're the one who can."

"So that's why you came to me in the light. As Kairi."

"You knew?"

"I knew as soon as I met you. Somehow you . . . smell the same." Riku turned to leave. "Look after Sora."

----------0----------

Riku walked into the hallway from Twilight Town (as Naminé called it). King Mickey stood there and smiled.

"So, you decided not to go to sleep, huh?"

"How'd you know that?"

"DiZ told me," said King Mickey. He motioned behind him to the center of the hall, and Riku followed the gesture to see DiZ.

"You know him?"

"I'm not really sure. I can't help feeling that I met him somewhere before."

Riku looked from King Mickey to DiZ.

"Hey, Voice. DiZ. Who are you?"

"Nobody . . . or anybody. It all depends whether you choose to believe in me or not."

"Boy, you really like pushing decisions on other people."

"And you pushed away slumber and chose to face Ansem."

"What, wrong answer?"

"It was your answer. I'm just here to watch."

"'Watch' as in support me, or 'watch me get toasted'?"

"You choose. Then you need only believe in your choice." DiZ threw Riku another card. "That card will draw the darkness inside you out into this world. Finish your business with Ansem."

Riku frowned at DiZ and turned to King Mickey.

"Let's go, Your Majesty."

King Mickey nodded, and they walked past DiZ to the staircase. On the next floor Riku looked at the door ahead, and then glanced to the card in his hand.

"So this card will draw Ansem out."

"Don't you worry! Together, we can defeat him!"

"I'm glad you said that . . . but I have to face Ansem alone."

King Mickey's eyes widened again and he took a step back.

"But . . . but why?"

"There's no point in doing this is if I can't do it on my own. But I have a favor to ask. If Ansem wins, he's going to enslave me. If that happens, I want you to destr—"

"Sure, I'll save you, pal!"

Riku shook his head and swallowed.

"You're not listening. I want you destroy Ansem and me with—"

"No can do! I already made my choice. No matter what happens, I'm going to be there to help you. I'm not backing down. Unless you don't believe I'll come through for you."

Riku smiled. If each person was like a work of art—completely unique like snowflakes—then King Mickey was a masterpiece.

"It's my choice to believe or not. I know you'd never let me down, Your Majesty."

"Same here. You won't lose—not in a million years."

Riku laughed.

"Not in a billion years!"

King Mickey nodded and pointed toward the doors. Riku patted the card against his palm, turned, and walked to the door. He entered another white room like so many of the white hallways that came before it. This must be what the castle actually looked like without the card-worlds. He steadied himself and drew the Soul Eater.

"Show yourself, Ansem!"

Ansem's laughter rang though the room. He was nowhere to be seen, but Riku had learned long ago in Castle Oblivion that just because he couldn't see someone didn't mean they weren't there, or that they wouldn't voice their opinions (and loudly, at that).

"What's the rush?" said Ansem. "I'll be here . . . At the heart of darkness . . . I'll be watching as you plunge into the very darkness you wield."

A gold card appeared in his hands.

----------0----------

The door emblazoned with the key came sooner than Riku expected. Pulling the gold card from his pocket, Riku stepped forward and held it out. The door clicked and swung open. There was no one there, but the stench was overwhelming, foul, and Riku smirked.

"Come on out, Ansem," said Riku, walking into the room. "I can smell you."

Ansem appeared before him. He never could resist a good taunting.

"Oh, I know what you can do. Your skill with the darkness has matured. But I do not understand. Why accept darkness and still refuse me? You and I are similar. We both follow where the darkness leads. We exist in the same space—so why deny me? Perhaps some part of your heart still fears the dark?"

Similar? Riku almost laughed. He and Cloud were similar. Riku and Ansem were only similar because Riku had a tendency to make foolish mistakes.

"Wrong. The truth is . . ." Riku drew the Soul Eater and smirked. He hoped it looked cocky. "You just really stink."

" . . . You're a fool to choose a fight with me. You've been conquered by me once before. You should know what sort of power you face."

"Oh, I do. I used all the power you had to give and still lost to Sora. I'm not impressed."

"Very well. Then sink into the dark abyss!"

It was the hardest fight of Riku's life. Ansem's guardian got in the way a lot, and his body felt bruised, beaten, and weak. Riku didn't relent. He thought of the clone, and how he wouldn't give up the chance at a life. Riku clung to the example, because though the replica gave in to the darkness, he didn't give up that easily, and in some ways, he really did embody what Riku _should_ be.

Ansem grew weak; his attacks less powerful.

"Insolent brat," Ansem said, and a shockwave of dark energy spread throughout the room.

"Ansem! You're finished."

Riku ran his Soul Eater through Ansem's body, but he didn't relent. The room shook and the energy shockwaves pulsated through the air.

"Hardly . . . finished . . . I gave you . . . the dark . . . my shadow . . . lingers . . . I will return!"

Everything grew black, and Ansem faded the darker it grew. No . . . this couldn't be . . . the realm of darkness . . .

A bright orb of light appeared and King Mickey's voice broke through the black.

"I know you wanted to do this alone, but you don't mind a _little_ help, right?"

The light returned and Riku found himself back in the room. Ansem was gone; King Mickey stood in his place. He was really a masterpiece of a being.

"Let's go, Riku," said the King. "One more floor and we'll be at the main entrance."

They walked up the stairs and Riku looked at King Mickey.

"Main entrance?"

"You appeared here in the lowest basement. DiZ told me. That why you went undetected by the Organization for so long . . . There are the doors."

Riku walked over to the large doors leading out of the castle.

"So, Riku . . . what's next? Are you going home?"

"I don't know if I can. It's still there. His scent . . . it's faint, but not gone. I can't go home until it is. His darkness may still have a hold on me . . ."

"Your darkness belongs to you. Just like your light. Until now, I thought darkness was nothing but bad. But my time with you made me change my mind. You've chosen a road I never thought of. Light and dark, back to back. With you, they mingle in a way no one's ever seen before. I want to see where that road leads." King Mickey held out his hand and Riku felt his heart swell. "And if it's okay, I want to walk the road with you."

Riku smiled and shook his hand.

"Wow, Your Majesty, I don't know what to say . . . Thanks."

"Oh, you don't have to call me that."

King Mickey laughed, and Riku laughed with him.

"Fair enough, Mickey."

"Let's get out of here. But first, it's going to be cold out there."

Mickey passed Riku a long, black-hooded coat. He put a small one on himself and smiled.

"Joining Organization XIII?" said Riku, laughing. "I heard some positions recently opened up."

Mickey laughed.

"Nope, but we've got to stay warm, and there's a lot of these coats in this castle."

Riku laughed and pulled on his coat. They walked out the door together. The sky was dark, but stars pricked through the black. Fresh air filled his lungs. How long had it really been since Riku last stood outside?

"So where to?" said Mickey.

"Can we still travel across the worlds?"

"You betcha."

"Well, I supposed that Organization will have to be taken care of eventually, but Sora should be awake for that first. We're going to need the Keyblade master. Until then, there's someone I have to go see."

"Who?"

Riku smiled.

"Did I ever tell you I have a boyfriend?" Mickey looked up at him in surprise. "I'm gay, but I don't think there's anything wrong with love no matter what shape it takes." Riku laughed. "I can't believe I just came out to a mouse."

Mickey laughed.

"I think that was well-put, Riku. If you have someone waiting for you, you should go see him."

"I hope he's waiting for me."

"If he loves you, he will be. Do you know where he'll be?"

"I have a few ideas, but I don't know for sure."

"Then let's go find him."

"How will we travel?"

"We'll find a way."

Riku smiled and nodded. They followed a long path across a barren field. The giant shadow of Castle Oblivion faded behind them until it was no longer visible, and only a distant memory. Mickey and Riku talked, laughed, and Riku told Mickey about Cloud as they walked until a figure appeared in the distance. Riku's smile fell. DiZ grew larger as they approached.

"He makes me nervous," said Riku.

"I wish I could remember where I've met him before," said Mickey.

Riku and Mickey stopped, standing before DiZ. He stood in the middle of a crossroads, and Riku shook his head.

"What are you making me choose now?"

"Will you take the road to light—" DiZ motioned to his left first, and as he started speaking again, he motioned to the right. "—or the road to darkness?"

Riku raised his head. Mickey looked up at him.

"Neither. I'm taking the middle road."

He stepped forward and walked past DiZ to continue down the path. Mickey followed. DiZ hung his head.

"You mean the twilit road to nightfall?"

Riku once thought that the merger of light and dark was like the sunset. He once thought that like a sun sets to leave nothing but the dark, empty night, the light faded in his heart, leaving nothing but a dark, empty shell. Though the darkness remained, and his light and dark mingled, his darkness made someone like Mickey think that the darkness wasn't all bad. Riku shook his head.

"No." Riku turned back to look at DiZ. "The road to dawn."

* * *

**_Thus ends Chain of Memories. I had a lot of fun writing this, especially when I realized Riku was coming out to Mickey Mouse. I mean, really, can you imagine coming out to Mickey Mouse?_**

**_I had a nightmare when I was three-years old that Mickey Mouse was trying to kill me. He was all big like the people in costumes at Disney World and he had a machine gun. Mickey's been a sensitive subject for me ever since, but Kingdom Hearts has been very therapeutic for that._**

**_Anyway, reviewers:_**

**Tolkienologist**: Yes, I will double post this morning . . . um . . . never mind. I just did. Anyway, I do like Cloud chapters because they break from the angst, but I guess the last chapter got a little heated. Don't know how that happened. Everything was going to go all nice and happy, and then Tifa started running her mouth, and Leon got all pissy, and . . . hm. My personal favorite line from chapter 28 was Leon's "Go roast a hot dog and make Tifa happy." .:shrug:. Yeah, Chain of Memories has been such a bitch to write. I love it and everything, but there's long parts where there's nothing going on and then parts where there's a lot going on in such a short amount of time. It's done now, though, so . . . well, I think it's obvious Riku and Cloud will be meeting again soon from the way I ended this chapter.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: I'm sure you'll find time to read. Heh. Riku won't be wearing the blindfold when he meets Cloud again, but he's got the Organization hood now. The blindfold will come later (even though I'm not sure where it came from). I get that 'his eyes couldn't lie' part, and I'm thinking about it a lot, but . . . yeah, I don't know. I'll work it in.

**Lady Karai**: Whew. I'm so glad you thought it was better. .:takes a bow:. Thank you for your admiration. Chain of Memories is not easy to put to narrative at all, especially with Riku having no one to talk to most of the time. Oh, well. Easy parts are coming because no one knows everything between CoM and KH2, and then deep dive, and then KH2. Which will be harder, but fun all the same. It'll be nice to take a break from following scripts, though. I'm through two games now with 69 chapters to go. It's actually much better than I expected.

**Koji Inari**: Ah! Wait longer for them to be reunited! .:cackles:. No, really, that's coming. It's on it's way. Riku and Mickey are off to track down Cloud. Just as Tifa is telling Cloud to move on. .:cackles again:. Oh, dear, I'm sorry, I'm in a very odd mood. Um, I don't think I'll be doing any KH3 invention. Just some KH2 aftermath. I won't end right where 2 left off, but I'm not going far past it. When there's a KH3, maybe I'll find a way to work it in and write a sequel. .:laughs:. That's a very stressed maybe.

**Mangled Euphoria**: Nah, I'm not really pissed off about it. I rather enjoy Chain of Memories as far as the storyline goes. It's just very hard to write. Riku spends so much of it alone, and I didn't really think it was necessary for the story to really go into detail until it was part of the CoM storyline. I look very much forward to writing the stuff between CoM and KH2, including Deep Dive and all that, though. I want Cloud and Riku together again.

**Mizuki hikari**: Yeah, I got your PM before I read your review, so when I saw you accidentally put Sora down instead of Riku, I giggled a little and moved on. It happens to all of us. Yeah, Riku and Cloud will be reunited soon.

**Lapse-Raevn**: I won't collapse. The only reason I'll have sleep deprivation is that as I type this to you, it is 7:47 am. I woke up at 6:30 last night, so I've only been up thirteen hours, but I have to pick my best friend up from her parent's house almost an hour away, and I have no idea when she's going to call. It could be noon, you know, so I might get four hours of sleep. And . . . heh. It's five in less than a week. .:smiles:. Not that I'm counting or anything. Did I really hint that Riku created Darkside? I thought that was just the CoM dialogue. Hm . . . I'm a genius and I didn't know it. Now I'm really thinking about this, and it's a fantastic idea. I think I'll file that for later use. You know, when I'm aware of it. I was aware of the Lexaeus paradox, though, and I was really proud of it. They say the only way to get better at writing it to write and write a lot. I'm writing a lot, and it seems I'm getting better.

**-find.me.please-**: Yeah, the shorter the review, the less I have to think and ramble about. For example, this reply to you review is now longer than the review itself. Because that's how I do it. I just think about whatever was written and I run with it. I think if I got a really long review, my reply would be as long as my chapters. Sorry I got ahead of you if you didn't read chapters 28 and 29 yet, but . . . you should have time to catch up. I just really enjoy flying through this story.

**koyuki-san**: Blinking is funny. I had to have a really emotional meeting between them at first because I feel that Riku grows really attached to Repliku between their first and second meeting since he looks so damn sad when Repliku dies. Riku's story is so sad, but he grows up so much and becomes such a better person (at least to me), which was why I even wanted to write this story in the first place. Throwing in Cloud was just for fun. Yeah, they did gravel Tifa because they thought she was in cahoots with Leon, but she smooths things over so much better than that 'stoic bitch.' No, Cloud would not appreciate any cheek-pinching, but he is cute, isn't he? I don't know how many chapters it'll take to get to Deep Dive. I have to get Cloud and Riku back together, and Riku has to start working for DiZ first because he has to go find Roxas. Right now I'm just going to play it by ear. Hasn't failed me yet. Also got me a lot farther through the prompts than I thought this initially would. I had the story planned to get to this point by Chapter 26. Didn't happen, but that's a _good_ thing when you have to write 100 chapters.

**_I don't know when you should expect the next chapter. I have to be social again after this. Ah, well. It'll give me time to think more on the CloudxRiku reunion._**

**_A big thanks to everyone, and until next time . . ._**

**_-December_**


	32. Better Than Coffee

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 032. Satisfaction

**Word Count**: 2,260

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Nothing short of a miracle could make Cloud productive on two hours of sleep. Good thing he got a miracle.

**Disclaimer**: Yeah, right. In my dreams, maybe.

**Author's Note**: She lives! No, really, I had a hard time with this part. I didn't want to write a real reunion until I could do it from Riku's perspective (I'll explain why in the next segment), so I had to find a way to fill Cloud's time between the last chapter and this one. This is short, I know, but all I really wanted to do was set Cloud up for the next part, which doesn't require too many words. I think I squeezed enough out of it, and if the ending doesn't scream 'satisfaction' to you, I don't know what will.

* * *

**_Step Thirty-Two: Better Than Coffee_**

There was nothing like the satisfaction of a job well-done or a hard day's work. At least that's what Leon said when Cloud succeeded as an interior painter (Cloud thought maybe Leon was just trying to cliché him to death). When Leon sent him off to paint, Cloud hoped he'd work on the exterior or something that was at least a little masculine, but Cid handed him a roller instead, and sent him right inside to work with three women from town. They talked all day long about babies, shoes, and the little shops they hoped would open in Market. They discussed bargain shopping and recipes.

"That soup last night was spectacular," said one woman. "I have to get that recipe from you."

"Oh, and it's so easy to make, too," said another.

Cloud dragged the roller over his ears during the second hour in hopes the paint would block the passageways and render him deaf. It didn't work, but Cloud's ear was cold for a while until the paint dried. It just hurt after that. He now knew more about Eliza's daughter Skylar and her boyfriend than he knew about Tifa and Vincent Valentine.

"But the paint is on the walls more than you, and that's what's important," said Leon.

"I bet your fingers feel a lot better, though," said Aerith.

"Actually, they feel cramped and stiff from holding the roller all day."

"If you do well, maybe you can plant trees next."

Cloud huffed.

"Not interested."

"Well, we'll need people to help paint the orphanage once it's finished."

"Not interested."

"Cloud, I know you don't like painting, but . . ."

"I don't mind painting. I mind the conversational painters. Can't you make them plant pretty flowers or something?"

"They can't be that bad," said Leon.

"Yeah? When's the last time _you_ sat through a three-hour conversation on diapers and formula?"

Leon winced.

"Maybe we can get someone else to help you. Like Yuffie."

"I need Yuffie," said Tifa. "I talk about the serious stuff; she entertains."

"Aw," said Yuffie. "You're so sweet. No one's ever needed me before."

"Are you sure she isn't just annoying them?" said Leon. Yuffie smacked him over the head.

"Don't mess with the great and powerful ninja Yuffie, Squall."

"Don't call me that."

"It's your name."

". . . Whatever."

Tifa and Aerith chuckled.

"I'd be happy to help," said Merlin. He stroked his long beard. "I do hope this won't get in the way."

"Not at all," said Aerith. "See, Cloud. You have help. Now hold still. You still have paint in your ear."

It was three days after the bonfire fiasco. Leon and Tifa spoke little since, though coexisted without another scene. Cloud was grateful. He knew they both meant well, and valued both their opinions. He sighed. The Riku Situation, as he now thought of it, caused more problems than he would have liked. All he wanted to do was wait, and if that carried on too long, mourn, but his friends were nosy and liked to ask a lot of questions. Cloud had to provide answers, despite how much he wanted to keep this all to himself. He felt he'd burst if he didn't.

Merlin arrived the day before. The entire Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee (which was really just Leon, Tifa, Aerith, Yuffie, Cid, and Cloud) led him to a little house in the borough. Aerith thought he needed help unpacking, but he showed up with one, seemingly bottomless bag with furniture that arranged itself.

"Wish moving everyone was that easy," Leon muttered. Cloud nodded.

Merlin set right to work. He brought a computer for the restoration plans, and Cid spent most of his time since then clicking around and entering information. Cloud didn't understand the first thing about computers other than they usually failed to do anything useful for him, so he kept his distance from the contraption, but Leon took to standing behind Cid for hours at a time mumbling and nodding. Other than the computer, Merlin used his magic to help complete houses, and turned out to be more useful than Cloud could ever hope to be with a hammer. He appreciated the offer to help paint, but Merlin was more useful elsewhere. Cloud shook his head.

"I told you to keep still," said Aerith.

"It's okay, Merlin," said Cloud. "I'll deal with it. I'm where I'm the most help; you should be, too."

"Oh, I don't mind," said Merlin. He waved a hand. "I'd like to try everything if you don't mind."

"Any help is appreciated," said Aerith.

"Splendid. Then that's settled."

"When do you think we can get started on the orphanage?" said Tifa. She stood next to Leon across the room—the distance between them more than it should have been—and leaned over Cid's shoulder.

"You're really into that project, aren't you?" said Leon.

"It was our home."

"What's your point?"

"I think with the Heartless, it's more important now than ever for there to be a place for kids like we were."

"Orphans."

"Kids without families, yes."

"It's a good idea," said Aerith. "Yuffie and I have encountered a lot of children who've lost their families. They need somewhere to go."

"I didn't say it was a bad idea. She just keeps talking about it."

"I want it to be a priority," said Tifa. "It's housing—just as important as getting families into homes. The kids can't room with anyone else or sleep in the streets forever."

"I know it's important, and it _is_ a priority."

"Then what are you arguing with me for?"

Tifa pulled herself up to full height and placed her hands on her hips. Leon crossed his arms over his chest and glared.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You're starting trouble."

Leon looked toward the door and shrugged.

"Whatever . . ."

Cloud rolled his eyes.

"I knew the new Leon wouldn't last. Tifa comes back and he gets moody again."

"Like you're any better. 'Hey, Cloud, would you like to help paint the orphanage? Because you thought it was a good idea, too, and you're painting now, so it makes logical sense that you would help.'

'Not interested.'"

Cloud glared, and then a sharp pang shot through his ear. Cloud jerked.

"Hold still, Cloud," said Aerith. "You've really got it wedged in there."

"It hurt."

"That because it's dried to your ear canal."

Leon snorted.

"And I'm supposed to listen to you?"

"Like _you're_ any better, Mr. All-I'll-Say-When-I'm-Uncomfortable-Is-Whatever."

"Whatever . . ."

"See! You just did it again."

Leon's lips twitched. Tifa snickered.

"Touché. Want to help with tomorrow's plans when you're done getting your ear cleaned out?"

Cloud shook his head.

"Not interested."

----------0----------

Merlin was too happy for a normal human being at six o'clock in the morning. From this, Cloud deduced Merlin was not a normal human being. Only psychopaths and people with far too much coffee and/or sugar in their system bounced at six o'clock in the morning, especially when they had a thirteen-hour day of painting ahead. Six o'clock in the morning was an ungodly hour to begin with. Cloud still couldn't figure out why Leon thought they needed to start working earlier, because the explanation that finishing houses was taking too long wasn't good enough for Cloud.

"This is very exciting, isn't it?" said Merlin.

Cloud grunted.

"I'm thrilled."

"Now let me explain something to you before you get started," said Leon. He swung a toolbox in one hand. "Paint does not go in your ears. It goes on the walls. Merlin, do not take anything Cloud does for normal."

"Me, normal? You're the one who wanted to get up at five in the morning."

"There's nothing abnormal about five in the morning. Not everyone likes to sleep until noon."

"I don't sleep until noon."

"Eleven is close enough."

"It's usually ten."

"It's usually between ten forty-seven and ten fifty-eight, which is closer to eleven."

"But the clock still says ten."

"And if you knew how to do mathematics, you'd know it rounds off to eleven."

"I know how to do mathematics; I'm trying to make myself sound better."

"I know. At least you had breakfast and coffee."

"I had one cup of coffee. I should have seven at this hour if you want me to be productive."

"Cloud, nothing short of a miracle would make you productive."

Cloud rolled his eyes. Leon pulled out a cigarette and lit up.

"I resent that."

Leon shrugged. They stopped in the middle of several finished houses out in the field. Leon pointed across the expanse to the hill.

"Cid and I are starting on the orphanage today to shut Tifa up. You . . ." Leon flicked his cigarette at Cloud's feet and pointed in the opposite direction. "You'll be working over in that area. Yuffie's already over there organizing people, so she'll tell you where exactly. You know where to find me if some middle-aged women cause you to destroy your ear canal again."

"Don't talk to me like I'm four. And stop flicking your cigarette at me."

"I'll do whatever I want."

"You just like messing with me when I'm not properly awake yet."

"Exactly. Anyway, I'll make sure Aerith stops by with lunch for you both around noon."

Cloud grunted.

"I think this is going to be fun," said Merlin. "Don't you agree?"

Cloud would have glared, but his eyelids refused to open beyond slits. Merlin bounced off in the direction Leon pointed, and Cloud turned.

"I'm going to beat his head with my roller."

"No, you aren't. Just to give you a heads up, though, I don't think he's ever painted before, and he's really excited about doing things 'the normal way.' You know, without magic. Go easy on him."

"You hate me."

"Not all the time."

"I hate you."

"You're just tired."

"Can't I have another cup of coffee? Please? This to me is like taking your cigarettes away from you."

Leon sighed.

"I'll get Tifa to bring you a cup."

"I could kiss you right now. I won't, but I could."

"Please don't. You aren't getting out of this. Go paint."

Cloud groaned, turned, and followed after Merlin.

----------0----------

Cloud was in an atrocious mood. He snapped at three middle-aged women, apologized seventeen times for his foul language, and threw his roller across the room all before lunch. Merlin chuckled at every twist and turn. Cloud thought that not only was Merlin not a normal human being (bouncing at six o'clock in the morning aside, no one chuckled at an aggravated Cloud—except for Leon, that is), but he started to think that Merlin was either twisted or easily amused as well. At the very least, Merlin figured out the roller on his own, though he worked at a very slow and meticulous pace.

Leon's satisfaction from a job well-done or a hard day's work could go eat itself; Cloud didn't need it. All he wanted was seventeen hours of sleep or three large pots of coffee followed by seventeen hours of sleep. Either way, nothing less would make him happy. Leon was going to die a slow, painful death.

Aerith arrived around noon in the form of an angel bearing sandwiches and a very large, steaming cup packed to the brim with caffeine in every swallow.

"You are my goddess," said Cloud. "You know that, Aerith? If I wasn't already in love, I would love you right now."

"That's very sweet of you," she said, "but it's only coffee."

"Giving a sleep-deprived Cloud coffee makes him very loving," said Leon as he walked into the room. "I learned that this morning when he threatened to kiss me."

"I didn't threaten to kiss you. I was so overcome with joy that I could have. I said I wouldn't."

"Remembers a lot for someone who's so tired, doesn't he?"

"I have to think very hard to follow what anyone says. I only went to sleep around three, you know."

"And whose fault is that?"

Cloud bit his lip.

"Yours?"

"Taking your lunch break?" said Aerith. "Yuffie said she was going to head over to you and Cid. Didn't she show up?"

"No, so I went to look for her."

"Did you find her?"

"Yeah. I found her, all right. She captured a new arrival and decided to torture him with stories about the natural disaster in Hollow Bastion. He didn't buy it."

"No?"

"No. Already knows about the Heartless."

"Oh, I see." Aerith laughed. "He probably thought she was insane."

"He took it rather well, actually. Anyway, that's why I'm here. Cloud, there's someone here to see you."

"Me? Who?"

"I'll give you two hints . . ."

"No hints, Leon, my brain isn't working."

"Make it. He's the new arrival, and it's not Sephiroth."

Cloud stared. Leon smirked.

"Though you didn't tell me _looks_ so much like Sephiroth . . ."

Cloud dropped his coffee cup. The lid popped off and the liquid drained across the floor.

"You're going to have to clean that up, you know," said Leon.

"Are you telling me . . .?"

"Yeah."

"He's alive . . ."

"Yes, that's what I'm telling you."

"He's here . . ."

"Waiting outside for you right now. I'd go get him before Yuffie eats him if I were you."

Aerith smiled.

"Secret boyfriend in the flesh?" she said.

Leon nodded. Cloud jumped up and raced for the door.

"Nothing short of a miracle . . . I guess Riku works better than coffee."

* * *

**_Replies! Yay!_**

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: Well, worry about Cloud no more. He's going to be just fine, and yes, Riku is getting stronger. I'm not sure when to expect a lemon. When it happens, I guess. Gotta just let it come natural. Sorry for the long wait. Been busy.

**Slytherin dragon-gurl**: Yes, I saw your name on my favorites list ages ago. It's nice to hear from you. No, they didn't show what Riku would look like in Halloween Town. Tis disappointing, I know.

**HikariAlex**: Thank you for the lovely compliment. I think it gets better and better, too. I didn't mean to get addicted to this pairing, either, because I was a hardcore Sora/Riku reader, and now I can't even read it anymore because I'm so Cloud/Riku oriented. I apologize for addicting you to the pairing. I know. There are no stories. That's why I'm writing one.

**Golden Warrior12**: Is that a scene from something? It's funny . . . anyway . . . I'm glad it makes you happy to see a new chapter. Hope this one makes your day, too.

**Chalice of Chelsea**: You can act like a retard reviewer. It's okay. Welcome back. Sorry it took so long to get more. I have opportunities to write over the next few days, so expect more soon. Aren't you glad Cloud took the paintbrush?

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: I'm glad you liked the ending. The blindfold will come in due time. They will be reunited in the next chapter. I'm also glad you liked the Cloud-Leon hammer scene. I seriously enjoyed writing it. I didn't mean to make Tifa such a bitch, but I thought she was the one most likely to say, "Okay, it's been long enough."

**Lapse - Raevn**: I do not mind if you hint the idea in your stuff. Riku Replica killed Zexion, I believe. Don't remember anymore. I know it wasn't Riku himself. Um . . . yeah. .:cough cough:. Mickey's gonna meet Cloud. Stay tuned!

**Koji Inari**: I wasn't a twisted three year old! My dad was watching some war movie and I got scared and wanted to watch Disney cartoons instead, and the two kind of merged when I went to bed. The novel is next, but I was just kidding about the sequel. I don't hate myself that much.

**Resa**: Ha! I wish when I went away for a weekend there'd be five chapters of a story I was reading. So I guess Riku is kind of here now, but more on that later. I guess it's a cliffhanger. Sorry about that.

**darktenshi17**: Yeah, I liked the Leon, "Good boy," line, too. I don't know how Leon became so patronizing toward Cloud. It's all just a joke, but you know . . . Yeah, I'm going on to KHII.

**-find.me.please-**: I will keep on writing. Don't worry. Glad you're still liking it.

**dragonchild**: I'm not surprised this is your first CloudxRiku. There aren't many. I do hope it catches on as it's the only pairing I can really read for Cloud and Riku anymore.

**Mizuki hikari**: Yeah, Chain of Memories was hard, so I'm glad you liked how it came out. I'm so glad you love it. I love my readers.

**Mr. Harlequin**: I love you to itsy bitsy bits for loving Cloud and Riku together. I knew it was going to be a bit of a time writing the story from Riku's perspective (and Cloud's, too) without it being the same old shit. I really wanted to write it from Riku's point of view, but I didn't want it to only be what you saw in the game (because what's the point, then?). The pacing of the games, yeah, I guess is kind of slow, but I have to pace this story slow, too, so I can fill all one-hundred chapters up. Yaoi action in one of the next chapters, I guess. Now that Riku and Cloud are technically reunited. I will be updating soon. Maybe tomorrow. Don't know. You'll find out when I do.

**prettykitty3000**: I already messaged you, so I hope your happy with the "Not Interested," use. Thanks again for the review.

**Nuiwatari**: I'm glad you love the story, and not to sound self-oriented, but that you like my writing, because that is a fantastic compliment. Don't worry about reviewing every chapter. Is so not necessary. Anyway, I update every time I find the time, because this story is the biggest thing I do when I'm not busy with actual humans. I'm addicted. So thank you for the compliments and I hope you enjoy this chapter and all 68 to come.

**_Thanks to everyone who read and did not review, and once again to the previous wonderful readers did_**

**_Next installment to be expected tomorrow, and probably one the day after that as I am getting iced in. I hate winter._**

**_Leave a review if you wish. It is always appreciated._**


	33. Reunion

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 033. Cold

**Word Count**: 3,607

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku is nervous. Yuffie talks a lot. Cloud doesn't know what to do.

**Disclaimer**: Not a chance. They aren't mine. I wish they were, but they aren't. So that's that.

**Author's Note**: So, yes, I didn't want to write the reunion until now because I've had this entire chapter in my head from start to finish since they first got split up. I'm so happy I can share it will all of you now and it isn't just in my head. Hope you like it as much as I do.

* * *

**_Step Thirty-Three: Reunion_**

"So when Sora defeated Ansem and closed the door to darkness, it made the worlds separate again?" said Riku.

"You got it," said Mickey.

"Okay . . . and then Ansem was defeated. He released his hold on my body and it found its way back to my heart in the realm of darkness. Is that why I could help close the door?"

"Yep."

"Okay . . . but I had to stay behind the door, right? To help close it so the worlds could be safe."

"Exactly."

"That's what I thought. So . . . how did DiZ find me in the dark? How did he get me out of there?"

"I don't know. He must've found a door to the light, but I don't know how he did it."

Riku sighed.

"So how are we going to cross the worlds? I know you said there's always a way, but . . . if the worlds are restored and separated . . ."

"The worlds will make different paths. The secret in crossing them is to find those paths. The worlds belong together. A long time ago, the worlds were all connected by the light, but they're separated now because of the darkness. That's why there will always be a path between them."

"Because of the light?"

"As long as the light exists, so will those paths. Closing the keyholes just made it harder."

"I guess that's a good thing considering the Heartless and everything."

"You can bet the Heartless will find corridors of darkness to follow. If you're up to it, that's the way I plan to travel, too."

"If I'm up to it?" Riku grinned. "I don't fear the darkness, anymore. I can handle it. And hey . . . maybe as long as we look like part of the Organization, they'll leave us alone."

"I'm glad to hear that. So where to?"

Riku frowned.

"I'm not sure where he'll be. He spent a lot of time between Traverse Town, Olympus Coliseum, and Hollow Bastion, though, so I guess those three places are the first to check. He was in Olympus Coliseum the most, though, so I guess we should try there, first, and if he isn't there, we can go see his friends in Traverse Town. They might know where to look."

"Sounds like a plan. Do you want to open a portal or should I?"

Riku smiled, held out his hand, and the two entered a corridor of darkness.

----------0----------

The corridors of darkness were not as overwhelming as before, not as dark with the light Riku found within himself to guide the way. Riku glanced down at Mickey many times as they walked. Mickey didn't contain the same merger of light and darkness that Riku held within him, and he worried that maybe these hollow passageways of black would be overwhelming, but Mickey showed no concern. Perhaps having all that light made the corridors easier to navigate; his expression remained solid and focused. Maybe it was all that time he spent in the realm of darkness. Either way, it lifted his heart and Riku felt warmth settle there at the presence of another companion, at not having to go through this alone.

"I sense Olympus Coliseum this way," said Mickey.

Riku nodded. A sense of light filled his senses, as if there were a thin veil between them and the outside world. The feeling grew stronger with every step Riku took as he trailed a little behind Mickey. They walked a little further through the fog, and Mickey circled a spot, staring at it. He held out a hand and opened a portal to the light. Riku grinned.

"After you," said Mickey.

Sunlight beat upon him as he stepped out, and Riku squinted, allowing his eyes to adjust. Mickey stepped out beside him. The dark portal closed behind them with a familiar whoosh. Hard, grainy ground crackled as Riku took a few steps forward.

"It feels like forever since I've been here," said Riku, as he looked around at his surroundings.

They stood on the path behind the Coliseum Arena. Thebes rose in the distance, a conglomeration of archaic buildings and ancient architecture.

"If he's here, it'll be this way," said Riku, motioning toward Thebes. Mickey nodded, and the two started down the path.

"Why don't you tell me about your boyfriend?"

"Well . . . okay, his name's Cloud. And he's . . ."

Riku tried to fight the smile creeping over his lips, but failed. Mickey looked up at him and laughed.

"And you like him a lot."

"Yeah. I met him in Hollow Bastion. He was working for Hades; I was working for Maleficent. It wasn't anything big at the time. We were just talking while he waited for Hades to come out of a meeting. By the time I saw him again he'd met Sora already and got fired for not killing him. He's not really involved with the darkness or anything . . . I guess he's kind of like me in a way. At any rate, I didn't encounter a double in Castle Oblivion."

"How'd ya get together?"

"He came to visit me after he got fired. Said he couldn't stop thinking about me . . ."

The obnoxious smile crept over his lips again. Riku laughed.

"I guess it was just physical attraction at first. We both thought the other was pretty good-looking. Then he and I went off for a month on his Gummi Ship to look for Sora, we got to know each other, and by the end of it, I was crazy about him. We've been together ever since.

"I didn't want Sora to know, and he still doesn't, but I plan on telling him when I see him again. Just promise you won't say anything. I want to do it myself."

"Promise."

"Thanks." Riku shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. "I'm a little scared to see him again."

"Sora or Cloud?"

Riku laughed.

"Both, now that you mention it. I was thinking of Cloud, but yeah, Sora, too."

"Why are you scared?"

"He really disapproved of my feud with Sora. Disapproved of my involvement with the darkness. I don't even know how long I've been gone. For all I know he's just given up on me, or doesn't like me anymore. I mean . . . I don't know. What if what I've done is too much? What if I've gone too far?"

"If he really loves you, you have nothing to be worried about."

"That's just the thing. What if he doesn't?"

"If he doesn't really love you or doesn't stand by you, he's not the one for you."

"But I _want_ him to be the one for me."

Riku and Mickey stopped in front of the hotel. Riku sighed.

"This is where he was staying."

"Go see if he's still here."

Riku nodded.

"I'll be back."

Riku pushed open the door to the hotel and walked into the lobby. People milled around the area, and he weaved through them to the desk. A short, round woman sat there; Riku walked over to her and flashed a smile.

"Hi. I was wondering if Cloud Strife is still checked in."

The woman's eyes roved over the computer screen. She shook her head.

"There's no one under that name."

"Could you tell me when he checked out?"

"We can't give out that kind of information."

Riku smiled.

"I understand that. The only thing is that he's my brother, and our mom is really sick. This is the last place I knew he was staying, and I really have to find him. That kind of information would help me out a lot."

She stared. Riku leaned on the counter and let his smile fall a bit.

"I don't want to put your job in jeopardy. Mom's just . . . we don't think she's going to make it, and she wants to see him before she passes. I'd hate to be such a bother, but it would mean so much to me if you could tell me when he checked out."

Her stare softened a little. Riku smiled again.

"Please?"

"Oh, all right, just don't tell anyone I gave you this information."

"Oh, I won't, ma'am. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it."

A light blush flushed to her cheeks as she clicked around on the computer. Riku's heart pounded as she searched.

"What's the last name?"

"Strife."

"He checked out about three weeks ago."

"Three weeks?" Riku rolled his eyes. "All right. Thank you very much."

"Your brother doesn't keep in contact often, does he?"

"He's the solitary one in the family. I wouldn't even bother looking except it means so much to my mother."

"Good luck finding him. I'm so sorry to hear about your mother."

"Thank you. You've been a great help."

"Anything to help such a devoted son."

"You have a nice day, ma'am."

"The same to you, dear."

Riku flashed a smile one last time before turning away and walking back toward the doors.

"How'd it go?" said Mickey.

"He checked out last month."

"Traverse Town?"

"Traverse Town."

----------0----------

Riku shivered and pulled the black cloak tighter around his shoulders. Traverse Town provided one answer to his many questions; it was the end of October. Growing up on the Islands, Riku was accustomed to October meaning back to school barbeques and a less crowded beach. Here in Traverse Town, it was freezing.

"Does is snow around here?" Riku said.

Mickey nodded.

"Sure. Why?"

"I've never seen snow before. Is it always cold like this?"

"It gets colder, especially in Hollow Bastion."

The weather reflected how he felt. The house Riku once saw Cloud's friends in was vacant. Anyone in town who knew or remember Leon, Yuffie, Aerith, and Cid all told him they left Traverse Town over a month ago. On his way to the shop where he'd met Cid, he even ran into Geppetto and Pinocchio.

"Oh . . ." said Riku. "Hey, Pinocchio."

"Hi ya!" said Mickey.

"Your Majesty," said Gepetto.

"Hi!" said Pinocchio. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for Leon, Aerith, Yuffie, Cid, or Cloud. Just heard they left, though, from the lady in the café."

"They moved a little over a month ago," said Gepetto.

"Have you heard from Jiminy, Your Majesty?" said Pinocchio.

"He's just fine," said Mickey.

"Um . . . Gepetto?" said Riku. The old man's eyes fell on him. Riku shuffled his feet and allowed his eyes to fall to Mickey before returning them to Gepetto. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about everything that happened in Monstro. I . . . I wasn't . . ."

"Oh, that? It's all right."

"I really didn't . . ."

"Don't bother about it."

Riku smiled.

"Thank you."

"Well, we gotta get going," said Mickey. "It was good seeing ya both."

"And you, too, Your Majesty," said Gepetto. "You behave yourself."

Riku rolled his eyes and grinned.

"I will."

They walked toward the doors to the Third District. Riku looked over his shoulder as Pinocchio and Gepetto disappeared inside.

"No Cloud . . ." said Riku. "No Leon. No nothing. I'm starting to lose hope."

"We'll find him. We still have Hollow Bastion. Don't give up. Your heart overcame the darkness. This is nothing after that."

"You're right. I know. It's just . . . it's been so long . . ."

"Hollow Bastion, then?"

"Let's do it."

----------0----------

Riku's heart felt tight in his chest as the gravel crunched beneath his feet. The town looked so much like it had when he last crossed it, and yet nothing like before. Homes were built; the streets were cleaned off. People walked across the town, chatting, and carrying various goods in their arms. One man sat on a cement ledge that wrapped around the town with a brown paper bag beside him, eating a sandwich. Two men walked out to the field carrying gray metal toolboxes.

"It's changed so much," said Riku. "Is this what happened after Maleficent was gone?"

"Looks like there's a lot of work being done," said Mickey.

"Looks like we've got a new one," said a girl. "Hi."

Riku glanced over to where two girls stood packing paper bags with drinks, sandwiches, and carrot sticks. One he didn't recognize, with long, dark hair and dressed mostly in black. The other Riku knew on sight. His heart swelled.

"Yeah, I haven't seen you before. I'm Yuffie. You're new, right? Just arrived?"

"Yeah. I'm . . ."

"I know you must be wondering what happened to Hollow Bastion to make it look this way, right?"

"Well . . ."

"You see, there was a huge fire that burned down the entire town. Everyone was taken to a safe place out beyond the field . . ."

"What are you talking about?"

"The fire," said the other girl. "Hi, I'm Tifa."

"You're Tifa . . ."

"Yes. There was a fire, and . . ."

"When was there a fire?"

"About nine years ago, and it was so out of control that it burned the entire village down," said Yuffie. "Just as it was ready to be rebuilt, a huge quake cut through and destroyed what was left."

"I thought the Heartless did that."

Yuffie paused and then grinned.

"Oh, good. You know about that, huh? That saves me a lot of trouble."

"Yuffie, what are you doing to that poor kid?"

Riku looked away from Yuffie to see Leon approach.

"She's not letting me speak," said Riku. "That's about it."

"Yuffie never lets anyone speak."

"He's a new arrival," said Yuffie. "Already knows about the Heartless, though, so that helps. Don't worry. We'll help you find your family, and if they died in the fire . . . I mean, if they . . ."

"You see? My name's Leon. Nice to meet you."

Leon extended his hand. Riku stared. Beside him, Mickey laughed.

"I _know_ you're Leon. That's what I've been trying to tell Yuffie. I know who you are, and I'm not looking for my family. I'm . . ."

"How do you know who we are?" said Yuffie. "I don't think I know you. Tifa, do you know him?"

"Never seen him before in my life," said Tifa.

"Riku. I'm Riku."

"Sora's friend, Riku?" said Yuffie. "That Riku?"

"Riku . . ." said Leon. "You're . . ."

Riku sighed.

"Yes. I'm Riku. I'm looking for . . ."

"Sora's not here," said Yuffie. Riku sighed and rolled his eyes. Leon laughed. "We haven't seen him in ages. Not since the Hades Cup, really."

"Is he here?" said Riku, turning his eyes to Leon. Leon nodded.

"Yep."

"No, he isn't. Didn't you hear what I just said?" said Yuffie.

"He's not looking for Sora," said Leon. "He's looking for Cloud."

Yuffie and Tifa stared at each other. Riku huffed.

"Yes. I'm Riku. I'm looking for Cloud. This is King Mickey." Riku motioned to Mickey, standing beside him.

"Hi," said Mickey.

"Hi," said Leon. "I guess you want me to take you to Cloud, huh?"

"That would be great."

"Wait . . ." said Yuffie. "Why are _you_ looking for _Cloud_?"

Riku grinned.

"He kept it quiet all this time? I'm almost impressed."

"As quiet as Cloud can keep it," said Leon.

"You're his boyfriend, aren't you?" said Tifa.

"Yeah. I am."

"And you owe Cloud an apology," said Leon. "I told you he'd be back."

"I'm lost," said Riku.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure Cloud will fill you in."

"Wait . . . Does he . . . I mean . . ."

Leon smiled.

"He's still waiting on you, yeah."

"I told you everything would work out, didn't I?" said Mickey.

"Cloud's painting," said Leon. "Come on. I'll take you to him."

"Aerith just left to take him his lunch," said Tifa. "And coffee."

"He's going to be so happy to see you. He's been moody ever since you disappeared. He's been especially moody today, though. I woke him at five this morning and had him painting by six-thirty."

"Cloud isn't a morning person."

"Wait . . . you're Sora's friend, Riku, though," said Yuffie. Riku nodded. "And you're dating Cloud?"

Riku laughed.

"Yeah. I made him promise not to say anything so that Sora wouldn't find out since we were in that stupid fight."

"You sound a lot different about Sora now," said Leon.

"Well, the last time I talked to you or Cloud I still hadn't gotten possessed or gone to the world of darkness or anything."

"That's why Cloud couldn't say anything?" said Yuffie. "You were afraid we'd say something to Sora?"

"I was worried something would slip, but I don't really care now. All I ask is that I can tell him myself, because he still doesn't know I'm gay."

"My lips are sealed."

"I somehow doubt that."

Leon laughed.

"Cloud was right about you."

"What about me?"

"That we'd get along."

"Why's that?"

"Because you've already commented on Yuffie's inability to keep her mouth shut and you've been here less than ten minutes."

"She wouldn't let me talk. She just started going off about fires and destruction and never even let me say my name or anything."

"That's Yuffie."

"It's annoying."

"That's Yuffie."

"Hey! You two are worse than you and Cloud," said Yuffie.

"Actually," said Tifa, "I think it's about the same. No wonder Cloud likes you."

"Great, that's just what we need. Another one of those two moody jerks."

"I'm not a jerk," said Riku.

"As for moody . . ." said Leon.

"Yeah, right."

"Yeah, you'll fit right in. So, Yuffie, where's Cloud working?"

"Right here," she said.

They stopped in front of a house and Leon ran up the stairs to the door.

"I'm going to go get him. You can wait out here unless you want to have your reunion with a bunch of women Cloud wants to beat. Then again, I think he might need a warning for this . . ."

"Sounds good," said Riku.

Riku shifted and crossed his arms over his chest as Leon disappeared into the house.

"Are you nervous or something?" said Yuffie.

"You don't have to be. He's crazy about you," said Tifa.

"It's just been so long . . ." said Riku.

"A little over a month, right?"

Riku nodded.

"That's what I hear."

"That's not that long."

"That's not what you said a couple nights ago," said Yuffie.

"It's not that long to be apart. It _is_ long when it comes to the Heartless."

The door to the house flung open. Riku stared.

"Are you going to go say hi or make out or something?" said Leon, coming up behind Cloud.

"You're here . . ."

Riku smiled.

"Just as articulate as ever."

As Cloud's smile pulled across his face, Riku felt his heart lift. He took a step forward.

"I didn't think I was ever going to see you again."

"I was worried, too."

"I don't know what to do."

"You could kiss me and then we'll just go from there."

"At least get out of the doorway," said Tifa.

Cloud laughed and stepped from the door. He crossed the porch, walked down the stairs, and strode over to Riku. His hand reached out and Riku closed his eyes, leaning into the touch as Cloud brushed his fingers along his cheek.

"I didn't think I was ever going to hear your voice again," said Riku.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"I have so much to tell you."

"I have a lot to tell you, too."

"Don't make me do all the work, Cloud."

Riku opened his eyes and smiled. Cloud laughed.

"You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

"So you've told me."

Riku's eyes shut as Cloud touched their lips together for a brief second, moved back, and then pushed forward again. Riku's head spun as a light, dizzy feeling spread through his body and permeated to his fingertips. He brought a hand up and tangled it within Cloud's hair, took a step closer, and pressed his hips forward. An arm snaked around his back and pulled.

"I missed you so much," said Riku.

"I missed you, too."

"Uh . . . Cloud?" said Leon.

Cloud pulled back and turned his head to Leon.

"What?"

"Why don't you take today and tomorrow off or something? Catch up. Any objections?"

"Nope," said Tifa, covering her smile.

"Not at all," said Yuffie.

"I think that's a great idea," said Aerith.

Cloud groaned.

"I hate you all."

"Get your sex and stories out before tonight. I'm coming home later," said Leon.

"And we need to properly meet Riku," said Tifa.

"And I want to stare at how cute you two are some more," said Yuffie.

"And Aerith will keep me from killing you all," said Cloud. "Riku, these are my friends. I have off. We're going to my house."

Riku smiled.

"Do we really get to have sex?"

"It's been over a month. What do you think?"

"I could probably use a cigarette. I haven't had once since I lost my body."

Cloud laughed.

"We'll pick some up on the way back."

"I'll just stay here," said Mickey.

"You sure?" said Riku.

Mickey nodded.

"I'll help out around here. No problem."

"You could paint," said Leon.

Cloud waved a hand.

"Better him than me. Now let's get out of here. We have a lot to discuss and I'm not waiting around for Leon to change his mind."

"Right behind you."

* * *

**_Thank you to the readers, and thank you to the reviewers. It is much appreciated._**

**_New chapter soon if I don't die driving to Hershey in the ice._**

**_Have a good one._**


	34. Frantic Desperation

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 034. Hot

**Word Count**: 4,435

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Sometimes, Cloud figured, at times like these, a simple 'I love you,' is more than enough.

**Warning**: Expect sexual content between Cloud and underage Riku. Bad Cloud. Bad.

**Disclaimer**: It's all lies.

**Author's Note**: How nice to go away for two weeks and come back to the prompt 'hot' during a much-anticipated and long overdue Cloud/Riku reunion. So, yeah, I couldn't resist. It was too easy. Then again, your idea and my idea of 'hot' may be entirely different.

**Author's Note 2**: I will be updating more often now. I had a busy February between my sister's bridal shower, a My Chemical Romance concert, a trip to Philadelphia, snow/ice storms, and my twenty-second birthday. So, yes, I'm back.

* * *

**_Step Thirty-Four: Frantic Desperation_**

"Your friends are very colorful," said Riku. He whacked the cigarette pack against the heel of his hand, unwrapped the packaging around the box, and brought a cigarette to his lips. Cloud stuffed his hands in his pockets and smiled as Riku inhaled.

"That's the nice way of putting it," said Cloud. "You could also call them annoying, loud, obnoxious, and pains in the ass."

"You could." Riku nodded, took a third drag, and glanced to Cloud. He was still watching, hands in pockets, and grinning. Riku shifted. "What?"

"Nothing."

"You're staring."

"I missed you."

Riku smiled.

"You're making me nervous. I didn't get ugly while I was away or anything, did I?"

Cloud laughed and shook his head.

"No, you didn't get ugly. You're more beautiful than I remember, though."

Riku snorted and fumbled with his lighter. He lifted his eyes to meet Cloud's and then looked at his lighter again.

"Now you're really making me nervous."

Cloud smirked.

"Do you have a reason to be nervous?"

"I don't know. You can tell me after I let you know everything that happened. You said you were going to take me to your house . . . ?"

"Yeah. Leon and I are sharing a house in the borough. Follow me?"

"Nah. You know, I've spent most of my time since I got possessed wanting to see you again, but now that I'm here, it's just not as good."

"Smartass."

"It's that or profess to you my undying love, affection, and regret that I screwed things up so badly. As I'm still really nervous, I'm going to stick with the jokes."

"Okay. You do that," said Cloud. He walked over to Riku, pulled his arm away from his side, and slid their hands together. "Come on. Everything's going to be okay now."

Riku sighed and put out his first cigarette before lighting up another.

"I missed you, too, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

They set off across the market and toward the borough. Riku's eyes strayed around the town—at the busy shoppers and workers on their lunch breaks. He took in the shops and homes that when he'd last seen them, were no more than decrepit ruins. Cloud watched him as his eyes wandered. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

"We've made a lot of progress with the Hollow Bastion Restoration."

"I see that," said Riku. "So is that what you're calling it? The Hollow Bastion Restoration?"

"Yeah. Aerith thought it might be nice to have an official committee. Make things more organized. I think Leon likes it, too. Honors how important he thinks the restoration is."

Riku nodded.

"Yeah. I remember you saying that he feels some sort of responsibility for what happened here."

"Even though nothing was his fault at all, yeah."

"So I take it that your new house will not have a hole in the wall, then?"

"Nope. I actually open a door and everything to go inside."

"You must be so proud."

"I am, actually. Now I can take you somewhere more habitable."

Riku grinned and puffed on his cigarette.

"How's the Heartless problem around here?"

"Better. They don't come in the market, but they do show up in the borough and out in the bailey. We haven't even gone beyond that point yet. All you have to do is look out toward the castle to see why."

"A lot?"

"_Teeming_ with Heartless. Can't see much of anything _but_ Heartless. It's a mess. Cid's working on a defense mechanism against them, but it's still in the developing stages. Until then all we have to rely on is brute force."

"You must be no help whatsoever, then."

"All right, enough out of you. I've been an emotional wreck since you went and got yourself possessed, and now that you're back all you want to do is insult me."

"It's playful banter. Some might call it flirting."

Cloud smirked.

"Call it what you want, but it's mean."

"It's only mean if it's true."

"Well it _is_ true, okay? Why do you think they have me painting?"

"Come on. Don't tell me you're actually no help with the Heartless."

"Oh, I can kill the Heartless, but I'm no help with the defense mechanism. I'm also no help with anything that requires tools. Leon had to actually try and teach me how to use a hammer. It went horribly wrong."

"You can't use a _hammer_? Who can't use a hammer? It's pretty simplistic."

"I can _use_ a hammer. The only problem is that my fingers tend to get in the way."

"Cloud, have you been bludgeoning your hands while I've been away?"

"Yes."

Cloud frowned, and as the lines deepened in his forehead, the corners of Riku's lips twitched more often.

"It's not funny, Riku."

"It's kind of funny."

"You're a brat."

"You're too sensitive. Learn to laugh at yourself."

"You can't even begin to understand what I've been going through here. Yuffie's driving me crazy. Leon's riding my case about tools, the restoration, and my inability to cook anything edible. Tifa's been on me about getting over you. The bones in my hand are just starting to feel normal again, and I have listen to middle-aged women talk about babies and food all day long. On top of all that, I've known absolutely nothing about where you've been and whether you were even alive or not."

"I'm sorry. I know I should be sympathetic, but . . . babies, food, and your inability to cook anything edible?"

Cloud grunted.

"This is our house," he said, pointing the door. Cloud stepped up, unlocked the door, and held it open for Riku to enter. "Feel free to smoke inside. Leon does."

"Thanks," said Riku.

He hesitated and then passed Cloud to walk inside. Cloud watched him as he passed and peeked into the living room. Riku stood in the middle, arms across his chest, and bobbing one leg as his eyes roved over the interior.

"Make yourself at home," said Cloud, walking in and shutting the door behind him. "We have nowhere else to put you while you're here, and even if we did, neither Leon nor I would allow you to stay anywhere else but with us. We just can't fuck while he's home unless we're quiet."

Riku's eyebrows raised; Cloud snickered.

"You want me to stay with you?"

"Riku, what are you so nervous about?"

Riku sighed and sank onto the couch. Cloud cocked his head and swallowed. Now he was nervous as anxiety gripped his heart.

"It's just . . . everything that's happened. I suppose . . . I suppose I'm afraid that after I tell you everything, you won't . . ."

"What? Like you anymore?"

"Yeah . . ."

"I already know some stuff. After we last talked, I headed back to Olympus Coliseum. Leon called to let me know Sora was in Traverse Town with Kairi and without you. He said you lost your heart . . .

"Anyway, after Maleficent was gone, Aerith, Leon, Yuffie, and Cid all came here to Hollow Bastion to start the restoration. Leon and Yuffie came out to Olympus Coliseum to fight in the Hades Cup. Sephiroth showed up—"

Riku's head shot up, eyes wide.

"Really? What happened?"

"I used the darkness. He's gone for now, but he'll be back. I was kind of distracted. Worried about you, you know?"

Riku groaned. Cloud watched his face twist, and then Riku dropped his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry. That was your chance and I screwed it up for you."

"You didn't screw it up. I screwed it up. I should have focused. It's not your fault."

"I feel responsible."

"Don't. I'll get him next time."

Riku sighed.

"Anyway," said Cloud, "last I saw Sora, he was going off to fight Ansem. I take it he succeeded?"

"You could say that."

"You know what's odd about Sora? I remember him. I remember his name, and his connection to you, and seeing him all those times at Olympus Coliseum, but I can't remember what he looks like. Weird, huh?"

"Naminé," said Riku.

"What?"

"Naminé."

"I don't follow."

Riku heaved yet another sigh and lit a cigarette. Cloud grabbed Leon's ashtray off the counter between the kitchen and living room. He set it before Riku on the coffee table and sank into the armchair by the couch. His eyes roved over Riku's face for a few seconds before settling on his eyes.

"You can tell me everything," said Cloud. "It isn't going to change how I feel about you except maybe make me more grateful than I already am that you're back and safe. I have something for you."

Cloud was aware of Riku's eyes on him as he reached into his pocket and held out the small, black cell phone.

"My phone . . ." said Riku.

"It was in your room."

"You went there?"

"I apparently like to torture myself." Riku's eyebrows knitted as he took the phone from Cloud's palm. "What I mean to say is that we were staying in the castle before we got any houses built or the power working. I went to your room . . . I don't know . . . looking for _something_. You, maybe." Cloud laughed.

"Thirty-seven missed calls . . . from you," said Riku. He laughed. "Sorry. Didn't have my phone on me when I got possessed."

"Yeah. I figured after the thirty-seventh time you didn't pick up."

Riku turned the phone over in his hands.

"I won't lose it again."

"I want to know what happened. Last I heard you had the Keyblade and were off to fight Sora."

"It feels like so long ago."

"It has been."

"Well . . . we fought. He got the Keyblade back. His heart was stronger. He . . . he said his friends were his power, and I just lost it. I wasn't included in that statement at all, and it just . . ."

"Hurt."

"Yeah. So he got the Keyblade back, won the fight. He could have finished me off, but he gave me time to run. I was so angry and hurt, and then Ansem showed up."

"You said he was around already, though, right?"

"Yeah, but it was just his voice before. Then he started gaining a form. Mickey said the more he gained control of my heart, the more of a shape he took. The weaker I became, the stronger it made him. That he probably sought me ought to gain a form in the first place, and the fact I have the ability to wield the Keyblade made me a prime candidate. The king is a mouse, by the way, in case you didn't notice in all the craziness back there."

"Yeah, I noticed, but I expected no less after it was a talking duck and dog looking for their king."

"I think I took it pretty well, too."

"So what happened with Ansem?"

"He was talking about giving my heart to darkness and becoming darkness itself. I felt so lost—like I'd let everyone around me down. My heart was so weak that I couldn't fight him and he took over my body. It was so . . . scary, for lack of a better word. I couldn't speak, couldn't move. I could see everything, I could feel, but I couldn't control my own body. I could feel Ansem's darkness within my heart. I tried to fight against him, but I wasn't strong enough.

"I realized how horrible I'd been about Sora. That Sora was never against me; he was worried about me. Realized that the princess business was all about opening the door to darkness, and Kairi's heart was the final piece Ansem and Maleficent needed. Realized I was never helping Kairi; I was putting her right into their hands. And then Sora took out Maleficent."

"That's what the princesses were all about?"

"Yep. And Kairi was one of them. I felt so betrayed. I knew Maleficent didn't care about me, but I still thought that . . ."

"That you were exchanging services?"

"Yeah. I was helping her in exchange for help with Kairi. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't right, but I didn't mind putting my heart out there to help Kairi, especially since I started this whole mess. Instead I was just getting used. And as it turned out, Kairi's heart—"

"Was hiding within Sora? Yeah, he told us."

Riku nodded.

"Ansem had this Keyblade to unlock hearts. Sora stabbed himself with it, released the princesses' hearts, Kairi's, disappeared, and that's when Kairi woke up. Everything was really fuzzy by then, really hard to follow. My head was a mess, but then Ansem said something about Kairi serving her purpose and that now something was over. He was going to hurt Kairi, I think, so I used what strength I had left to pull myself out of Ansem to give her enough time to run. It was only a few seconds, and then I felt like I was falling, and everything was black."

"Realm of darkness?"

Riku nodded again. Cloud took a deep breath and tried to push the pain away. Riku was sitting across from him, safe and whole. His heart didn't need to ache or worry; Riku made it through. Everything was going to be okay.

"I could hear sounds, but I couldn't see anything. I didn't even have a body. I was scared that I failed, and both Sora and Kairi were dead. Mickey spoke to me through the darkness, though. He told me . . . he told me that he was talking to me all along, but the darkness in my heart covered his words. That he had the Keyblade for 'this side,' and he'd be there soon. He said my heart overcame the darkness, but I couldn't take back my body, so I was left there in the place where all the stolen hearts go. He said that to close the door to darkness, two hearts and two Keyblades were needed—one for each side. When Sora defeated Ansem, my body returned to me and the door out appeared, but I had to stay in the realm of darkness."

"To help close the door . . ."

"Yeah."

"So were you in the realm of darkness all this time?"

"I don't think I was there all that long, actually. I don't remember much. Time felt so long there. I was living inside my head, reliving memories . . . then I woke up in this hazy place, and there was a whole new voice talking to me."

"Ansem?"

"DiZ."

"Who?"

"He pretended to be Ansem . . . found me in the darkness and gave me a card that led me to Castle Oblivion."

"Castle Oblivion?"

"There are these cards made of your memories, only . . ." Riku gulped. "That's where I was. The cards recreate places in your memories and the people of significance you met there. DiZ pretended to be Ansem. Tried to get me to accept the darkness, because even though Ansem was defeated, his darkness was . . . _is_ . . . still in my heart."

"So . . . what happened?"

"I had to go through all these floors of the castle going through my memories, only I didn't meet anyone good. The only beings I encountered were Heartless and people who live in the dark. I was here in Hollow Bastion and all I found was Heartless and Maleficent. I had to go through Monstro again. I even looked for Leon and your friends in Traverse Town, but they weren't there. I was alone. I was fighting the darkness, and I kept meeting these men in black cloaks. They're part of some group called Organization XIII that's clearly up to no good. Sora was in Castle Oblivion, too, and that's where Naminé comes in.

"Naminé is a witch who can control Sora's memories and the people he's associated with. She was forced to change Sora's memories by Organization XIII to make him forget Kairi because some of their members wanted to use Sora against their superior."

"I take it that didn't go well."

"Naminé told Sora all his memories were distorted, so he was given a choice to keep his new memories and lose the old ones or forget all about Castle Oblivion and have his old memories again. He chose to get his old memories back, so he's going to be asleep until his memory is fully restored. She warned me that I'm going to forget him, and so will the people who knew him until his memory is back."

"So that's why I can't remember what he looks like?"

"Yeah. He'll just keep fading until he's gone completely. Then he'll just come back one day, and you'll remember everything again."

"What about DiZ?"

"I don't know who he is. He creeps me out. He found me in the darkness and wanted me to choose whether I would face Ansem or go to sleep like Sora and let Naminé lock away the darkness in my heart. I chose to face Ansem."

"Would you have forgotten everything, too?"

"Yeah, and I wasn't about to do that. One of the members of Organization XIII made this copy of me. I mean, exactly like me except he had a mind of his own."

"A copy of you?"

"Yeah. My replica. He wielded the darkness freely—supposed to be an example of what I could be. He didn't fear the darkness like I did. We fought twice. He ran off the first time. The second time, he was out to kill me—take over my identity. I killed him."

"You look upset."

"He . . . he was so much like me, and I don't . . . not just the way he looked. He sounded like me, thought like me . . . I could anticipate everything he was going to do and say. Killing him was . . . I didn't want to, but he made it so that it him or me . . ."

"Killing him was like killing yourself."

Riku's breath hitched.

"Yeah. I didn't want to forget that. I wanted someone to remember him. I know it sounds screwy—"

"It makes a lot of sense, actually."

"Mickey was there with me through some of it. I was afraid of the darkness. Depressed, regretful, and so sorry to everyone for everything I put them through. I wanted to get out of there just so I could find everyone and apologize. I wanted to see you again even if it was only for a few minutes just so you'd know I tried to fix things."

"Riku . . ."

"I went to this fake Destiny Islands. My friends were there, but they couldn't hear me. They disappeared. One of the Organization XIII guys led me there. He pretended to be Sora and blinded me with the light. I started to fade, and then Kairi was there, only it wasn't Kairi; it was Naminé. She told me that there was light and darkness in my heart, and that I needed them both. That they both belonged to me, and I needed to use them both. Light to see through the dark and dark to see through the brightest light. I followed the darkness straight to him and the Sora illusion shattered.

"You know, at the beginning of it all, DiZ . . . Ansem . . . said I only met dark beings in Castle Oblivion because I threw away the Islands, my friends, family, and then darkness itself. All that was left in my heart was darkness, so that's all I resonated with in Castle Oblivion. That my heart only knew how to throw things away."

"Riku . . ."

"I thought when I went to Olympus Coliseum, I'd at least see you, because we have the darkness in common, but you weren't there. I felt so hopeless."

Cloud stood from the chair and closed the gap between them. He took Riku's hand.

"It's okay," said Riku. "Once I let the light and dark merge, that's when I met DiZ without the Ansem cover. I met Naminé. Chose to face Ansem. I couldn't beat him on my own, but Mickey wouldn't let him take me. Mickey saved me. Ansem's still in my heart, but I'm never going to stop trying to get rid of him. I guess he's my Sephiroth."

Cloud laughed.

"It sounds like your Sephiroth is just as annoying as mine is."

"Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, Mickey and I got out of Castle Oblivion and we came looking for you."

"So you chose to let dark and light merge, then?"

"Yeah. Mickey says he's never seen them mingle in anyone they way they do in me. It feels like I let my light slip into darkness before, but now dawn is coming. The worst part in the darkness is over, and now it's turning into light."

"Was that so hard to tell me?"

"Yes."

"Have a cigarette."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Riku withdrew his hand from Cloud's and tapped a cigarette from the pack. He brought it to his lips and lit up.

"So you've just been restoring Hollow Bastion?"

"And failing to kill Sephiroth, yes."

"You really want me to stay here with you?"

"Yes, I do. I'm sure Leon will insist. Mickey could stay here, too, if he doesn't mind. You don't mind, do you?"

Riku shook his head. Cloud smiled and shifted on the couch to rest his back against the armrest, allowing one leg to dangle over the edge. He pulled the ashtray closer to his end of the coffee table, swung an arm around Riku's waist, and brought Riku's back against his chest. Riku tensed, exhaled, and sank back into Cloud.

"I don't think any differently of you. I'm proud of you, going through all that and coming through with your head up."

"I think . . ." Riku shifted. "I think I learned something from it in the end. Now I know that it's okay I have some darkness in me . . ."

"It _is_ okay."

Riku put out his cigarette, twisted in Cloud's arms, and rested his head against Cloud's chest. Rough fingertips brushed through Riku's hair, rubbing at his scalp, and Riku leaned into the touch. Cloud smiled, pulling Riku closer.

"I'm so grateful for you in my life. You're always there for me, even when I think you shouldn't be," said Riku. He closed his eyes and exhaled.

"I'm grateful for you, too."

"Why? I haven't done anything for you."

"Yes, you have. You've been such an inspiration to me. I could be moody and miserable about what happened with Sephiroth right now, but I'm not because of you. I mean . . . a lot of bad shit just keeps happening to you, but you keep trudging along despite it all. It makes me want to keep trying."

Cloud twisted his head to look at Riku, placed a finger under his chin, and directed his face up. Their eyes locked.

"I do that for you?"

"Yeah, you do. So you can keep making me want to keep trying, and I'll keep being a stable place for you."

"It's a deal."

Cloud leaned forward to catch Riku's lips and twist a hand in his hair. A soft moan sounded from Riku's mouth, and Cloud felt his stomach tighten. He licked his lips and allowed his eyes to close. Their foreheads together, nose to nose, Cloud brushed his hand across the back of Riku's head, and as Riku breathed, the warm air ghosted over Cloud's lips.

"I love you so much," said Riku.

"I love you, too."

"When do we get to have that reunion sex you were talking about?"

Cloud smiled.

"Eager to get me into bed?"

"I want to feel you. I've been alone for so long . . . I . . . I want to know you're really here."

"I'm here, Riku. I'm not going to let you go again."

Cloud cupped Riku's cheek and pressed their mouths together. Heat swelled within his body as his mouth traveled down Riku's neck, and the arm Riku previously held into his body stretched around Cloud's waist and across his back. Layers of clothes came off to land across the living room, because they never parted long enough to move into the bedroom. Later on, Cloud would briefly make a mental note to never let Leon know about this.

As Riku's hands ran over his chest, arms, and back, Cloud noticed just how different this was than the first time they'd had a sexual encounter. The first time was all nerves and exploration, teasing and playful. Riku wasn't shifting this time, wasn't nervous as he ran his hands over Cloud's body's, wasn't awkward as he littered kisses over Cloud's shoulder and across his chest. It was different from anything Cloud had ever experienced. The heat that filled his entire body didn't only swell in his cock, but rivaled the swelling in his heart. His breath was shallow as he leaned his head back, still stroking the back of Riku's head with one hand.

The way Riku whimpered when Cloud rolled him onto his back increased the heat in Cloud's body. His breathing quickened, his heart pounding, as he dipped his head to place a kiss behind Riku's ear. Riku's arms stretched around him again, trailing down his back, stroking his ass. Cloud groaned.

"I missed you so much," Riku breathed.

This time was full of soft moans, whispers, and almost silent gasps. Their hands moved with deliberation—there was nothing quick or fast about it. When Cloud entered Riku, the light touches turned to a rocking desperation, completely out of rhythm, frantic to be as close as physically possible. Riku pulled Cloud's body closer to him, arm swung around his lower back. Everything was fuzzy; nothing was quite real. Cloud felt intoxicated, and he buried his face into Riku's neck when he came.

"I love you," said Cloud a few minutes later after they'd both used the bathroom and dressed.

They lay on the couch together, Riku's back against Cloud's chest, post-coital cigarette in Riku's fingers. Riku smiled and sank farther back against him.

"I love you, too."

Sometimes, Cloud figured, at times like these, a simple 'I love you,' is more than enough.

* * *

**_Oh, I know, I've been horrible about updating, but it will be more frequent now that the mess that was the second half of February is over._**

**_Until March 20th through the 22nd, because I have Taste of Chaos on the 21st in Camden, NJ. Getting to see The Used. Am too excited._**

**_FYI: I didn't die driving in the ice to Hershey. Obviously. Though I might have worried a few of you. Sorry about that._**

**_Anyway . . ._**

**_Dear readers and reviewers of Chapters 32 and 33:_**

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: Yay reunion! Yay! Okay, I'll admit I was a little pissy at you when I read the review for chapter 32 about your snow day because while you were eating cookies and enjoying the day off, I was shoveling my car out of a foot of ice, but I forgave you. lol. Anyway, I'm glad you like snarky Leon, Cloud, and Riku. Geez. A lot of these characters are snarky, huh? Hope you liked this one, too. It is hard to top perfection.

**Deathsdancer(not signed in)**: I hope you liked the reunion, and the continuation of the reunion, and I hope you will continue to enjoy the reunion through the next segment. So . . . yay!

**DragonChild**: Sorry I ended chapter 32 where I did, but I hope 33 showed that it was necessary. They are together now, so you can be happy.

**Nuiwatari**: Hello, Nui's sister. Thank you for the capslock explanation. I was afraid I was being shouted at. Anyway, YOU ARE WELCOME FOR UPDATING! THANKS FOR SAYING I AM SO AWESOME! YOU ARE AWESOME, TOO!

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: Yeah, now you don't have to feel bad for poor, tortured Cloud. Riku's alive, safe, Cloud knows this, and all is well in happy Cloud/Riku land. Most of the time in KH2 Riku is going to look like Ansem to Cloud, but like Sora and Kairi can 'see' Riku in there, Cloud will be able to as well. Their hearts resonate together. Hope you enjoyed this segment.

**-find.me.please-**: Was it really a story twist? Ah, well. Sorry about that.

**koyuki-san**: Apparently chapter 32 inspired lots of jumping up and down and screaming. I guess it was kind of a long wait. A bit overdue. Yeah . . . ::cough cough:: I figured the paint was white, by the way, but you can make it whatever color you like. I wasn't creative when it came to color, I guess, though it'd be insanely funny if it were red. You and Cloud are like me with your coffee, then, because Cloud's coffee dependency comes from none other than yours truly. Yeah, I know, Riku arrives and everyone's a snarky little bitch. I explained the lack of disbelief at the mouse-king here. I mean, honestly . . . yes, this is Donald, the talking duck, and Goofy, the dog-thing. They're looking for their king. A mouse? Why am I not surprised?

**Mizuki hikari**: Looks like I inspired more desperation than I anticipated with the way I ended chapter 32. I hope 33 and 34 satiated your needs.

**prettykitty3000**: I'm sorry I made you hide behind the couch for two hours. 'Twas not my intention. You're welcome for the "Not Interested" line. Stay tuned to the next chapter for the second part of the "Not Interested/Whatever" speculation between Cloud and Leon with Riku thrown in the mix. Yay! Also, sorry I took so long, as you were dying inside. Bridal showers and birthdays are unavoidable, and I would have died had I not seen My Chemical Romance live again. You know, before I see them again in April and May. ::cough cough: . . .I'm starting to feel insane.

**Koji Inari**: Ah! So that's where you've been. I had wondered. You're usually one of the first to review. Get your grades up. I need you.

**Mangled Euphoria**: I just want to tell you that you are too cute. Love your myspace. Anyway . . . heh . . . Thanks for the wonderful compliments. They make me smile.

**Futile Faith**: I will not comment on the writing capabilities of the other Cloud/Riku writers, but yes, there needs to be more for the wonderful pairing. I keep going to read some, and alas, the first story I would click on is mine. I'm like, "Oh, yes! Multi-chapter Cloud/Riku! Yay!" And then I go, "Ah, crap. Yeah. I wrote that. I should update . . ." I'm glad you love my story. Widely-known secret: I love it, too!

**Tong Ki Yang**: Do I hear the sound of story pimpage? Yay! Thanks for not only reading and enjoying, but sending it to someone else to read and enjoy. That was sweet of you.

**Sipota**: Ah, yes, more action. It's always about the action, isn't it? Hm . . . Yeah. There needs to be more Cloud/Riku. One day when I finish this overgrown child, I will write another Cloud/Riku. Help the cause, you know?

**namikun masaki**: I truly love your review. I never thought I'd actually write a one-hundred chapter story, but . . . oh, damn, I just got all excited, signed up for it, and went, well that's that, then. Got a little scared, and then realized I committed the better part of a year to these two moody brats. Oh, well. The only negative effect is I can't start another Cloud/Riku until I finish this for fear of getting things confused and not actually finishing this story. Oh, yeah, and I can't read any other pairing for either one anymore because they just _are_ now to me. ::sigh:: It comes to be a problem when there aren't many other Cloud/Riku stories. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to enjoy all 66 to come.

**_I make no promises on when I will update again. Just know that there will probably be another one by the end of the week. Yep._**

**_Leon, Yuffie, Tifa, and Cid all have to properly meet Riku. Will be fun in that sadistic kind of way, I think._**


	35. Awkward Integration

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 035. Easy

**Word Count**: 3,674

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: It's always awkward meeting friends of friends, much less friends of your boyfriend. Unfortunately for Riku, Cloud's friends are a little rowdier than ordinary. Poor dear.

**Disclaimer**: As if I hadn't said it thirty-four times before, I will tell you again that I don't own Kingdom Hearts because Disney and Square Enix do and I have no affiliation with either company whatsoever. I'm affiliated with a chip company and now I'm affiliated with Hersheypark again, but Hershey is not Disney, so there you go.

* * *

**_Step Thirty-Five: Awkward Integration_**

Riku was fidgeting. He was aware of this fidgeting, and though he tried to stop it, the harder he tried, the more his hands found to keep themselves busy. Cigarette after cigarette turned to ash and filled the tray. Cloud went out to the market to buy Riku a carton two hours after their most recent sexual encounter, and Riku chewed his fingernails after finishing the pack until Cloud returned.

Twenty cigarettes in four hours. Riku figured that wasn't good. He had foolishly thought that after going a month without nicotine, he wouldn't smoke nearly as much—the physical addiction had long passed—but Riku didn't care to quit smoking, and as he fidgeted, he found himself chain-smoking more than ever. Cloud returned to find Riku's fingertips mutilated.

"What are you so nervous about now?"

"You're friends are all coming over later tonight, right?"

"Yeah. Probably around seven. Leon was talking about a thirteen-hour day this morning."

"What if they don't like me?"

Cloud sighed.

"Just be yourself. Leon already likes you, and as for the rest, they'll like you, too."

"But Leon doesn't really know me, and you could be making me sound better than I really am for all I know."

"You need to relax. You'll fit in just fine."

"I just . . . they're so important to you, and I don't want them to hate me. This is a big deal. I mean . . . these people are like your family . . ."

"And I'm sure they'll like you just as much as I do."

Riku huffed. He twisted the bottom of his shirt into a knot, undid it, and twisted it the other way.

"Look," said Cloud, "everyone comes back here for dinner after working every night. Leon will have his 'don't fuck with me' attitude in place because he'll have to cook, and Aerith will do her best to keep him in as close to a good mood as he ever gets. Yuffie will talk a lot, bounce a lot, and Leon will snap at her occasionally about giving him a headache. Cid will think this is all very funny, and I'll be moody and distant while Tifa grills me about every aspect of my life. That's just how we interact, so don't take anything personally."

"Why does Leon have to cook?"

"Because I can't, and Tifa thinks it's sexist that Leon keeps trying to get her to do it."

"I can cook."

"That's okay, Riku."

"No, really. They're working all day and I've just been sitting around here. It'll give me something to do with my hands at least."

"Let me warn you that if you give anyone food poisoning, you'll never hear the end of it."

"Why would I give someone food poisoning?"

". . . I don't know. I did."

"You also can't use a hammer."

"Yeah, see. You have nothing to worry about. You'll fit in just fine. You don't have to make dinner to get anyone to like you."

"I just want to do something nice, okay? I'm just barging my way in here where I really don't belong, and it's always awkward meeting friends of friends. A boyfriend's friends are an even bigger deal, not to mention I'm going to be living here. I don't want to get in the way."

"You aren't in the way."

"Cloud, this isn't easy for me, okay? Let me do this and don't give me grief about it."

Cloud sighed.

"Just understand that you don't have to."

"Okay. Now what does everyone like to eat?"

----------0----------

One shopping trip at the market later (where Cloud observed that this was his third time purchasing from the same shop that day), Riku set himself up in the kitchen with bowls, pans, and cooking utensils around him. He pulled things out of bags—eggs, milk, olive oil, bread crumbs, chicken—and set to work.

"You do know what you're doing, right?"

"Cloud, I'm not completely useless. I do more than just chain-smoke and get myself possessed."

He placed the ashtray on the counter and lit a cigarette.

"That's a great point for your case right there."

"I like to smoke when I cook."

"You know, some people really don't like the smell of smoke with their food."

"Screw some people."

"It doesn't matter. Leon smokes when he cooks, too. I don't get it."

"You can't cook and you don't smoke. How would you?"

"Touché."

Riku sighed as he opened the package of chicken breast and dropped it on the cutting board.

"My mom taught me how to cook when I was a kid. She also taught me how to iron, sew, and do my own laundry by the time I was seven. She called them 'useful life skills,' and said I was going to need to know them one day when I was on my own."

"I know you said you were kind of a momma's boy, but I didn't know it was that bad."

"Shut up." Riku sliced the chicken into strips and laughed. "I really was, though."

"Did she flip out when she found out you were gay?"

"Not at all. Just smiled and patted me on the head. Didn't flip out when I started smoking, either. Her and my dad smoke, too, so she said there wasn't really anything she could say about it except to make sure I understood the health risks. Ayumi's the one that freaked out."

"Your sister?"

Riku nodded.

"She was super-protective over me. Always wanted to know where I was going and with who. Didn't like all the bad influences I was surrounding myself with. We were always really close, but we fought a lot before I left. She kept telling me I was a privileged child—Mom and Dad were always supportive, I had good friends, good grades, we never had a problem with money. Said I blew the gay thing out of proportion, and I was just trying to cause trouble for myself to make life more interesting. I was so angry with her, but in retrospect she was kind of right."

"You miss her."

"Yeah. I gave her a lot of shit before I left about trying to take care of me so much, but I really kind of liked it. It was nice to have someone care that much, even when I didn't want her to."

"I'm sure you'll see your family again."

Riku shrugged. His throat felt tight, but he swallowed and focused on the food preparation.

"I can't go back there until I take care of Ansem. I don't . . . I don't want to take that back there . . . not if something were to happen again. That and . . . and I just don't want them to see me like that, you know?"

Cloud nodded.

Riku was aware of Cloud's eyes on him as he moved around the kitchen, unmoving and watching from the couch as Riku heated the oil over the stove. He was thankful for something to do with his hands to expend some of the adrenaline shooting through his body.

Cloud made it sound seamless to integrate Riku into his group of friends, but nothing was ever easy—all things required a good deal of work and a bit of luck. Sure, Riku might be able to get along with Cloud's friends, but he needed to become friends with them as well to stave off any awkwardness. After all, it didn't look like he and Cloud were about to break up any time within the near future, and he would thus be spending a great amount of time with these people.

In all honesty, Ayumi had been spot on when calling Riku's life privileged. He never had a problem making friends everywhere he went, and was prone to admirers as well. It had always been easy to put on a smile, crack a joke, and pretend to be cool, confident, and collected. He may have blown the gay thing out of proportion, but Riku had always had a difficult time not thinking that things would have been easier had he been straight. Now that he had a boyfriend, and was surrounded by people who not only accepted but encouraged it, he had nothing to hide behind.

Cloud had said to be himself, and this was where Riku's anxiety attacked. Yes, Riku was confident most of the time, but he had what he hoped were normal bouts of insecurity from time to time. Sure, he was often collected, but he was prone to losing his composure as was so apparent with everything that happened with Sora and Ansem. Riku could be cool and relaxed, but he was often worried and uneasy, much like now. Cloud knew these things, and by extension, so did his friends. His nerves felt jumbled, and another rush of adrenaline pumped through his veins.

His thoughts were still racing, running over everything he should say to make a good impression, and the fried chicken was just about finished when the door to the house opened and Cloud's friends poured in. Riku turned his head to see Cloud wave at them from the couch, close his eyes, and put his hand over them.

"I smell food," said Yuffie. She bounced into the kitchen and looked into the pan. "Hey, Leon, looks like you're off the hook for dinner tonight."

"Is that right?" said Leon, walking into the kitchen behind Yuffie. He grabbed a drink from the refrigerator and peered over Yuffie's shoulder at the stove.

"Cloud told me he was a terrible cook, so I thought I'd lend a hand," said Riku.

"Thanks for that."

"Not a problem."

"I did warn him about food poisoning, though," said Cloud.

"Not that I needed the warning."

"Not everyone is as inept as you, Cloud," said Leon.

"You know what, Leon? Eat me."

"I think I should leave that to Riku. You don't want him getting the wrong idea."

Cid, Tifa, and Cloud snorted. Riku dropped his spatula in the frying pan.

"They're just kidding," said Aerith. "You're going to scare him off, Leon."

"I'm going to scare him off?" said Leon, taking a seat at the counter and lighting a cigarette. "Yuffie's the one hovering over him."

Riku's eyes darted to the side. Yuffie leaned forward, peered at him, and smiled.

"He's just so cute," she said.

"Lord, chain-smoker much?" said Leon, looking into his ashtray. "I think there's a pack in here."

"Pack and a half," said Riku, lighting a cigarette of his own. "Twenty-six and about to be twenty-seven if you want to get exact."

"Yuffie, personal space," said Cloud, walking over to the counter and taking a seat opposite Leon. "He's nervous enough as is without you in his face."

"Why are you nervous?" said Yuffie.

"I'd be nervous if I had to coexist with you, too," said Leon.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Could we talk about something other than me?" said Riku.

"Nope," said Tifa. "You're fresh meat. We have to eat you alive and spit you out before you can be part of the club. We all went through it."

"We're all still going through it," said Cloud. "It never really ends."

"He's right," said Leon. "For example: Cloud, I know I said you could take tomorrow off, but you need to paint instead. Deal with it."

"Fuck you, Leon."

"You don't have an option."

"I'm not interested."

"You know the great thing about you, Cloud? You're so predictable. I know that no matter what I ask you to do, you'll tell me you're not interested, and then I'll make you do it anyway."

"You know the great thing about you, Leon? I know that if I say something about you that makes you uncomfortable, you'll just say 'whatever,' and leave it at that."

"Rot and die."

"And you're both so emotional, moody, and distant that I'd like to practice my ninja skills on you and not hold back," said Yuffie.

"As if you could actually do any damage," said Leon.

"I know you're afraid. You don't have to hide it."

"The only time I hide anything is when I'm running away from you."

"You know, the more you two bicker, the more I think you two are flirting," said Tifa.

"Ew," said Yuffie. Leon stared.

"Whatever . . ."

"Riku's about to run away and never come back," said Cid.

Cloud burst into maniacal laughter.

"Don't worry," said Tifa, "we're always like this."

"Aren't you supposed to tell me that you're _not_ always like this?" said Riku.

"Yes," said Leon.

"That's the point," said Yuffie.

"Look at how they finish each other's sentences," said Tifa.

"Stop it! You're scaring me."

Yuffie ran from the kitchen into the living room and sat as far away from Leon as she could manage. Cloud laughed harder.

"As deeply as that statement disturbs me, if it gets Yuffie away from me . . ." said Leon.

"Thanks, Tifa. Look what you started. Now Leon's going to be chasing after Yuffie just so that when she goes into hiding, he'll have peace," said Cid.

"Please don't," said Yuffie.

"The food's done in case anyone wants to shut up long enough to eat it," said Riku.

"Food?" said Yuffie, perking up. She ran back into the kitchen and bounced again, pulling on Riku's arm. "Feed me, feed me, feed me."

"You seriously give me a headache."

"You see what the restoration does to people? Yuffie's more out of her mind that usual," said Cloud. "And this is why I'm not painting tomorrow."

"I wasn't serious about having to, though if you wanted to . . ." said Leon.

"I already told you. Not interested. Pay attention."

"Whatever . . ."

Riku yanked his arm away from Yuffie and divided the portions among everyone at the house, handing them their food, and then took a seat beside Cloud at the counter. Leon, like Riku, smoked and ate at the same time.

"This was very sweet of you," said Aerith. "Thank you."

"It really wasn't any trouble."

"I hope you know that you'll have to feed Cloud when it's just the two of you," said Leon. "I wasn't kidding when I called him inept."

Heat rose into Riku's cheeks. He hoped that no one would notice.

"So . . . what happened to Mickey?"

"Oh, the king?" said Tifa. "He apparently knows Merlin quite well, so they worked together today, and Mickey's going to stay with him. I forgot, but he did say to let you know."

"I told Riku he's staying here and you wouldn't let it be any other way," said Cloud. "I hope I was right in assuming so."

Leon shook his head.

"No, I don't mind. I assumed he'd stay here what with your nymphomaniac tendencies and everything. Just keep it in the bedroom."

"Too late," said Cloud. Riku choked on his chicken. Cloud patted him on the back.

"We really didn't need to know that, Cloud," said Tifa.

"I'm sorry; it just came out. I couldn't keep my mouth shut."

"You can't ever keep your mouth shut," said Leon. "Fine. Keep it in the bedroom from now on."

"Oh, come on, Leon, you know I'm not going to keep to that."

Leon nodded.

"True."

"How about we just keep it to the bedroom when you're home?"

"Deal. Keep it out of my bedroom?"

"Deal."

Riku sunk his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry, Riku. I really can't keep my mouth shut."

"I want to stab myself to death."

"Riku's shy."

"Well what do you expect?" said Leon. "He's a fifteen year old kid. He's probably had less sexual experience in his life than you had in the week before you started dating him."

"That's not fair. I'm not a slut."

"Yeah," said Tifa. "We're talking about Cloud, not you. Cloud just . . . Cloud's idea of making sex more interesting is public places and the thrill that comes with a possibility of getting caught. Your idea is as many people as possible."

"Whatever."

A hand touched Riku's arm and he looked up to see Aerith smiling down at him.

"They don't mean anything by it. Really."

Riku nodded.

----------0-----------

"Are you angry?"

Riku lay on the couch, one of Leon's books in hand, dressed in a pair of Cloud's sweatpants and an old, tattered t-shirt. He glanced up from the pages to see Cloud in the bathroom doorway, freshly showered wearing only soft black pajama pants. His hair was still wet but sticking up in a thousand different directions. Riku smiled.

"No. I'm just . . . I don't know. Embarrassed."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't very good about being sensitive to your feelings."

"It's okay. It seems like that's the way you do things around here."

"We really don't mean anything by it."

Riku nodded, marked his place in the book, and set it aside.

"I know. I'm just not used to discussing my sex life at dinner."

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing. It's fine. I need to get comfortable."

"Was it as bad as you expected?"

Riku laughed.

"A lot easier, actually. At least I got time to recover from being embarrassed while you all harassed each other."

"They don't know you well enough to harass you yet. So far they know that we're slept together, and that's all they have to go on."

"Did I do okay?"

"You told everyone to shut up and insulted Yuffie. Sure, she's the easiest target, but you don't know us well enough yet, either. You'll get the hang of it."

Cloud slid behind Riku on the couch and let his hands fall to Riku's shoulders, rubbing at the muscles. His fingertips traced Riku's back, softly sinking into the flesh, and Riku allowed his eyes to shut as his breathing slowed.

"That feels really good."

"You're awfully tense."

"I just want to make a good impression. So far everything they know about me is really shitty."

"Except for that I love you."

"That doesn't exactly speak in his favor," said Leon, walking through the room to the refrigerator. Riku opened his eyes and watched him pull out a carton of juice, which he carried into the living room.

"You still up?" said Cloud.

Leon sat in the armchair by the couch and nodded.

"For now. We've got a long day tomorrow so I've got to sleep soon, but it's still a little early."

"Six to seven?"

"Yeah. I don't want to be a dick or anything, but I am going to need you after tomorrow. I know you need to reconnect and everything, but . . ."

"I know. There's a lot of work to be done. I'll be there. I'll be cranky, but I'll be there."

"You're always cranky."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" asked Riku. Leon raised his eyebrows.

"You want to help?"

"Undo it," said Cloud. "He'll work you like a dog. Undo it now."

"I don't want to just sit around here and eat all your food without doing anything useful. I don't do well doing nothing for too long."

"Can you use a hammer?"

"Fuck that shit. If he's helping, he's going to paint with me because at least that'll have me in a better mood," said Cloud.

"But will it keep paint out of your ears?"

"Yes."

"Do I even want to know?" said Riku.

"No."

"Okay."

"Do you want to paint with Cloud? He can get moody."

"I think I can handle it."

"All right. Thanks. That'll help a lot. So not tomorrow, but the day after?"

"Yeah, I'll be there. Six in the morning, right?"

"Yeah. There will be coffee."

Riku laughed.

"I'm more nicotine dependent than caffeine dependent, but okay."

"I noticed. You smoke more than I do."

"It helps me deal with stress."

"And embarrassment," said Cloud.

"Yes, that too."

"Did we really embarrass you?" said Leon.

"A bit, but please don't apologize. Cloud's worn me out on apologies."

"We can watch it if you'd like."

"That would just make me more uncomfortable. I'm just . . . you know, a fifteen year old kid."

"I was actually surprised. I expected you to look older. I see why your age initially bothered him, but I also get why it doesn't anymore."

Cloud smiled and brushed his hand down Riku's arm, giving a little squeeze above the elbow.

"I told you he likes you," said Cloud.

Riku sighed.

"Is that what that means?"

"Yeah. That's a Leon Compliment."

"I guess I should leave you two alone," said Leon.

"No, it's okay," said Riku. "It's just a little awkward getting adjusted here. There's so many people, and I don't really know any of you, and—"

"And he's worried because he's got a lot of bad PR," said Cloud.

"I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we pass no judgment on you until we get to know you," said Leon. "What happened to you and what you've done is a lot better than what Cloud had people thinking before we knew it was you. It was actually a relief that all the secrecy was about Sora. I can't speak for everyone else, but for me, I think I've been hearing enough about you to base some sort of judgment, and now with meeting you, I'll tell you up front that I have no problem with you."

Riku smiled.

"Thanks."

"Don't stress about it. I meant it when I said you'd fit in just fine."

Riku nodded. The anxiety drained away.

"Really," said Riku. "Thank you."

"No problem. Now I really do have to head off to bed because there's a restoration that needs continued tomorrow. Have a good night boys, and keep all promiscuity down. I need rest."

"Will do," said Cloud. "I want to hear all about your Yuffie dreams."

Leon rolled his eyes and disappeared into the bedroom.

"Well?" said Cloud.

Riku sighed.

"Much easier than I expected."

* * *

**_I know the site is kind of screwy, so yes, this is the second update this week. If you haven't received your alerts . . . I know. I haven't received mine, either._**

**_I did get three reviews though (I am hoping the lack of reviewers and views, though, is for a lack of alerts and not for a lack of interest), so to my three reviewers:_**

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: No, I wasn't actually mad at you or anything! I have tendonitis, so my hand was really swollen from shovelling ice for two and a half hours, my hands actually had ice formed over them, and it still took me two days after to finish getting all the ice off my car. I came inside, checked my email, and I got your review about cookies and your snow day. I was like, "You little bitch . . . Wish _I_ still got snow days . . . grumble grumble . . ." But no, I wasn't actually mad at you. lol. Funny enough, Cloud did not give Riku a big hug in this chapter, but proceeded to make him feel more insecure. I think in the long run, though, Riku will feel more included, and that's better than a hug, maybe.

**prettykitty3000**: No, I didn't actually die. I went back to see what I wrote in the previous chapter and was like 8O. Oops. Heh. I was like, "Oh no, they're actually going to think I _died_. That's no good." My life is like that, too, where I'm really busy but I have no life. I mean, busy to me is spending a lot of time with my best friend watching anime, and I like to go to a lot of concerts. I saw My Chemical Romance on February 25th, I'm going to see Taste of Chaos on March 21st, and then I have Bamboozle in May, but there's two more MCR shows in my area in April and May, so if I can scrounge up the money . . . not to mention Fall Out Boy has that tour this summer, and as soon as AFI is back in the area . . . Because this is what I like to do in addition to write. See bands. And watch anime. I have to work a lot this summer, though, so that's no fun, but hey . . . yeah. I have no life. But enough about me . . . That word perfection is really scary. It makes me nervous about writing the next chapter because I'm always hoping it gets better than the one before, but improving on perfection just doesn't happen, so . . . hm. Keep it at the standard, maybe?

**MangledEuphoria**: Thanks for the myspace message. It made me happy. I don't get myspace messages often. Heh. I love Cloud and Riku, especially when it's Cloud and Riku with gutteral moans. They do take at least ten pages (or 100 chapters, lol). I'm glad you're still loving the story.

**_Thanks to everyone else who read and reviewed. Rock on._**


	36. Gender Roles

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 036. Hard

**Word Count**: 3,957

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Cloud was contradictory, and though it seemed simplistic, habits are hard to break.

**Disclaimer**: It's all lies. I don't own anything, and if I did, I'd make better use of my penchant for Cloud/Riku instead of writing so much damn fanfic.

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**_Step Thirty-Six: Gender Roles_**

Soft lips pressed against Cloud's cheek and trailed down the flesh to brush along his jawbone. The tingling warmth of a tongue brushed a spot just below his ear and lapped its way down his neck sending shivers through his spine. Muscles in his abdomen drew tight as teeth nipped at tender spots in his neck, and Cloud groaned, a smile stretched across his face. His eyelids fluttered open, and Riku's face came into view, devilish smile in place, and his eyes gleaming.

"Good morning to you, too," said Cloud.

"Time for you to wake up," said Riku. "I made you breakfast."

"What time is it?"

"Just before ten."

"It's early."

Riku snickered.

"Leon warned me that you might say that when he left this morning so I made sure that breakfast came with a large mug of coffee."

"Coffee?"

Riku nodded, disappeared from Cloud's blurry vision, and came back into view with a steaming mug. He handed it out, and Cloud took it, circling his fingers around the porcelain and sipped.

"Holy . . . that's good coffee. You make my coffee from now on, okay? Only you."

Riku rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Okay. You think you can sit up a little more for food?"

"Food?"

"I told you that I made you breakfast."

"But you brought it to me? I get breakfast in bed?"

"Yeah. Something like that."

"I like you, you know that? I think I'll keep you."

"Thanks. I'm so honored."

Riku leaned forward to press a kiss against Cloud's lips, and then he leaned over the side of the bed, returning with a tray. A plate of pancakes sat in the middle with a little dish of maple syrup to the side and a glass of juice. Cloud raised his eyebrows.

"I gotta tell you, Riku, I don't know what to say. No one's brought me breakfast in bed before."

"Don't get too sweet on me, now. I had ulterior motives."

"Oh, yeah?" said Cloud. He readjusted the tray on his lap and picked up the utensils. "What are those?"

"I was bored, wanted you to wake up, and I figured it'd be easier on me if I brought the coffee and food to you."

Cloud shrugged and nodded.

"How long have you been up?"

"Since about five-thirty."

Cloud scratched his fork across the plate.

"In the morning?" Riku nodded. "Why would you do that without force?"

"I woke up to use the bathroom, but then I remembered that we have to be up at that time tomorrow so I figured I might as well stay up. I usually sleep in until eight."

"In the morning?"

Riku laughed.

"Yes, Cloud. I occasionally like to wake up in the morning."

"Why?"

"I'm used to it?"

"Yes, but why?"

"Because I like to go out and do stuff. It wasn't that long ago that I got up at five-thirty everyday."

"Why would anyone do that?"

"Because I had to go to school. I'm only fifteen. Remember?"

Cloud snorted.

"I didn't even think of that."

"Obviously."

"Okay, that freaked me out a little."

"What? That if I were on Destiny Islands right now, I'd be in class?"

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Make me think of you in school eating crappy lunches and doing homework. It just makes me feel like a pedophile."

"You are a pedophile, not that I'm complaining, and it shouldn't bother you because I'm more than capable of making decisions regarding who I date. If that freaks you out, it may as well bother you that I've killed people, too."

"That does bother me."

Riku rolled his eyes.

"You're impossible. How's your breakfast?"

"It's good. Your pancakes are better than Leon's."

"Thanks, I think."

"Hey, pancakes are an art. Leon tried to teach me to make them once, but half the batch was really hard and burnt, and the other half wasn't cooked the whole way through. You got them really good and golden and even-shaped in little circles."

Riku raised an eyebrow.

"I used boxed mix."

"So did I."

". . . Yeah. I think I'm going to cook for you from now on. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

"I don't cook. I make cereal. It's simple. You just add milk, and even them sometimes I have problems because I don't add enough and some of it is still dry, but then I add more and the bottom gets really soggy, so I just eat it really fast."

"You're so hopeless. Remind me what you bring to this relationship again?"

"A stable ground for you to love and support you even when you think I shouldn't?"

"Oh, yes, that's right."

"And you're here to feed me, make me coffee, pick up after me, and worship me."

"What do you think I am? Your housewife?"

"Well if there was a woman in this relationship, you'd be it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Did you hear that laundry list of chores? Oh, that reminds me, you can do my laundry, because I'm bad at that, too."

"Is there anything you can do?"

"Kill shit."

"Cloud, I am not the woman."

"Sure you are. You know all that girly stuff. Not to mention you're the one with all the emotional problems."

"You have emotional problems, too."

"Yeah, but I don't talk about them. I bottle them up and pretend like nothing's wrong. That's what men do. You talk about your problems."

"It's healthy to talk about your problems."

"That's a very woman thing to say."

"You do know that in addition to all the 'girly stuff,' I'm the one who knows how to use tools, too, and I can kill shit with the best of them."

"So you're an independent woman. A woman of the new world. Tifa can beat the shit out of me, but she's still a woman. She also happens to be much better with a hammer than I am. You're a nurturer, Riku. Deal with it."

"You're such a chauvinist."

"I'm a new age chauvinist. What? You have a problem with that?"

"Not really. I actually like taking care of that kind of stuff. Cooking, laundry . . ."

"I know. I could tell. You had this proud glimmer in your eyes when I told you your pancakes were better than Leon's. Hey, I could have been a real chauvinist and said you served my sexual needs."

"Yeah, I guess it's a good thing that you aren't that bad."

"You see? I would never say something like that. After all, I serve your sexual needs, too . . . I hope."

Riku laughed.

"Well, I was awful lonely this morning so I went to see Cid. I hope you don't mind."

"That's not even funny; that's just sick."

"I thought it was funny."

"I'm glad you amuse yourself."

"No one is quite as funny to me as I am to myself."

"Yeah . . . I crack myself up, too."

"Speaking of sexual needs . . ."

"Oh, are we still talking about that?"

Riku nodded.

"I do have to take a shower after last night, and I wouldn't be terribly disappointed if you joined me because you reek of sex, too."

Cloud sniffed his shirt and nodded.

"You're right. I do."

Riku wiggled his eyebrows at him, grabbed the empty tray from Cloud's lap, and left the bedroom. Cloud lay in bed, staring at the empty doorway for a few seconds and allowed the previous conversation to roll over in his mind a few times.

Riku brought him breakfast in bed, didn't fight with him about laundry, and woke him up with kisses.

Riku accepted Cloud's teasing suggestion that Riku was the woman in the relationship without too much protest.

Riku wasn't angry about how embarrassed he'd felt yesterday with his friends, or that Cloud had been so little help with them.

Riku didn't blush mentioning last night's foray, flirted, and invited Cloud into the shower.

Cloud wondered when this thing with Riku moved from new relationship to established, comfortable relationship. Riku was living with him now, meeting his friends, and mentioning them in passing through conversation. They spoke of each other as if they intended to be together forever. Disagreements were disagreements, but they didn't turn into ugly fights even when Riku or Cloud didn't care to hear the other out. Cloud could list three personality traits of Riku's family members, and got the feeling that if Riku were to go back to Destiny Islands any time soon, he'd be meeting them next.

It was morning, and Riku wasn't gone. He didn't need to leave this afternoon, tonight, or tomorrow. Cloud's room, Cloud's bed, Cloud's house . . . they were all Riku's now, too. The part that concerned Cloud the most was that he was more content than concerned. He lay in bed for a few more seconds, noted that he'd have to talk to Leon about this later, and then he heard the shower turn on in the bathroom.

"Are you coming or do I have to shower all by myself?"

Cloud grinned, threw off the blankets, and walked into the living room. Riku stood in the bathroom doorway, leaning against the jamb and wearing nothing but a smirk.

"You're getting awfully promiscuous."

"Only when it comes to you, but don't let that go to your head."

"Oh, it's going somewhere all right."

Riku laughed, shook his head, and disappeared through the shower curtain. Cloud followed.

----------0----------

"You're early," said Cloud as Leon walked into the house around six o'clock.

"So how's he doing today?" said Leon, sitting next to Cloud on the couch and glancing toward the kitchen. "Making dinner again?"

"He wants to help out. Where's everyone else?"

"I left early. Wanted to get back here before they did to see how he was. Yesterday didn't go so badly, but he was really uncomfortable. If I can tone it down or keep Yuffie in line to help . . ."

Cloud shook his head.

"Nah, he's all right. Smoked about half of what he did yesterday so far, so his nerves have calmed down a bit. I think he just doesn't know what to do or say considering you all knew Sora first and it isn't like he's your friends. You're my friends, and he's my boyfriend."

"I know, but I really do like him, and . . ."

"Yeah, I know. He can _become_ your friend, but he's just meeting everyone. It's all new right now."

"He doesn't want us to tell you to ditch him."

"Right. That too. But listen, while you're here . . . there's something I want to talk to you about . . ."

Leon frowned, shook a cigarette out of his pack, and lit up.

"What's going on?"

Cloud glanced past Leon into the kitchen. Riku had his back to them, was cursing profusely, and kicking the oven.

"He sounds like he's in a fight with the kitchen appliances," said Leon.

"I think the kitchen appliances are winning."

"This about him?"

"Yeah."

Leon nodded and waved a hand.

"Continue."

"I'm in love with Riku, right?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"No, but . . . I'm in love with Riku."

"Okay?"

"No, Leon, you aren't understanding this."

"Obviously. I know you're in love with Riku. What's the problem?"

"It's not a problem, but I am, right? I'm really _in love_ with Riku. It's not just like I love him and really care about him, but like . . . I don't know. That true blue, forever and ever kind of love."

Leon nodded.

"Yes, definitely."

"That's what I thought."

"I thought you already knew this."

"I knew it was different than anything before, but the idea of that true blue, forever and ever kind of thing didn't really sink in until this morning, and—"

"And you freaked out?"

"No. That's just the thing. It made me all happy and content, and then _that_ freaked me out."

"So this isn't about Riku at all. This is about you thinking you can't really be happy and open, but that you should be moody, emotional, and distant."

"I don't think I should be moody, emotional, and distant."

"Yes, you do. You have these weird gender ideas where men shouldn't express things too much, and you shouldn't talk about things, and just keep it to yourself, only you're really bad at it, and then that makes you think you aren't a real man."

"I am not like that."

"Yes, you are. You say you aren't, and you'll tell everyone—me included—differently, but you do it all the time. You have this idea of what a man should be, and you try to do it, but you suck at it, and then that makes you moody. It's an endless cycle, and you really should do something about it."

"Do I really?"

"Yes, you do. It's a bad habit of yours, and you need to break it."

"How am I supposed to break it when I don't even know I'm doing it?"

"By not freaking out that you're happy with wanting to be with Riku forever and ever and just be happy that you found someone who makes you feel like that."

Cloud frowned.

"But it sounds so simplistic."

"It sounds so simplistic because it is so simplistic, but I get the feeling you're going to find it harder than it sounds."

"Where did I get this strange idea?"

"I don't know. You've always been like that. Even when we were kids. When the older boys used to make fun of me when I got hurt and cried, you told them to shut up because it was okay to cry, but if you got hurt and cried, you'd fight like hell not to and start muttering about boys not crying."

"Did I really?"

"Yes."

"Did you actually cry?"

"See? Right there. You can't believe I'm capable of crying."

"No. It's not that. I believe you're capable of crying, but you're so distant and . . ."

"Manly?"

"Er . . . hm . . . I really am that contradictory, aren't I?"

Leon lit another cigarette and nodded.

"Yes."

"What am I going to do about that?"

"I don't know. Not do it?"

"That does seem a lot harder than it sounds."

"Motherfucker!" Riku yelled from the kitchen. Leon arched an eyebrow.

"You okay in there?" said Cloud.

"I just burnt my fucking arm."

"Cloud's burn ointment is in the drawer by the sink," said Leon. He turned to Cloud. "That's your future. I just wanted to warn you."

Cloud smiled.

"I'm okay with that."

----------0----------

"Yuffie's here!" she shouted, throwing the door open and stepping inside. She glanced around the living room, rushed toward the couch, and leaped. "Squall! Did you miss me?"

"Oh, yes, Yuffie, my love."

Leon grabbed Yuffie around the waist and held her in his lap, grinning. She struggled against his grip, wrenched herself free, and hid behind Cid as he entered.

"Gah!"

"It's so easy now," said Leon. "Tifa, I have to thank you for this."

"You can thank me when you're married," said Tifa. "Until then, please, by all means, continue your flirting."

"Married?" said Yuffie. "Please! The great ninja Yuffie will never be tied down to a man."

"I didn't know Yuffie swung that way," said Riku, walking into the room with dinner. "Cloud, why didn't you tell me?"

"This is news to me, too. So, Yuffie, who's the lucky girl?"

Yuffie stuck out her tongue.

"I'm not a lesbian, either. I just meant that I'm not going to get married."

"Yuffie still thinks boys are icky," said Leon.

"Isn't that one of the main classifications for a lesbian?" said Cloud.

"Yuffie isn't a lesbian," said Tifa. "If she was, I'd have gotten in on the action by now."

"Now, Tifa, what would Vincent think if he heard you talking like that?"

"Probably that it was hot," said Cid. Tifa nodded.

"Probably."

"I'm not a lesbian," said Yuffie. She turned and pointed at Riku. "And I hold you responsible if these kinds of jokes continue."

Riku grinned and shrugged.

"I'm sorry, Yuffie, but I do have to say that I find it odd that you protest the lesbian jokes, but you don't fight the Leon ones that much."

"You mean besides the disgusted faces and the screaming," said Cloud.

"Yeah, but she still jumped him."

"He has a point," said Tifa. "Then again, I did come to Yuffie's defense regarding her sexual orientation, and I was the brave soul to point out what we've all been thinking."

"Yeah," said Cloud. "It's okay if you want Leon, Yuffie. Leon's a leather-clad god."

Leon rolled his eyes.

"Whatever . . ."

"I'd also like to say that I find it odd that Leon has nothing to say but 'Whatever,' when it comes to Yuffie," said Riku.

"He has a point there, too," said Tifa. "Because we all know Leon says 'Whatever,' when he's uncomfortable."

"Whatever . . ."

"So I guess they didn't scare you off for good yesterday, huh?" said Aerith.

Riku laughed and shook his head.

"No. Don't get me wrong, I think you're all psychotic, but so's Cloud and I'm actually dating him, so it was kind of expected."

"Speaking of Riku and Cloud," said Leon, "Cloud told me he wants to be with Riku forever and ever. Isn't that sweet?"

Riku dropped his plate. Cloud glared.

"That _is_ so sweet," said Yuffie. She clapped her hands together, beaming at Cloud. Aerith gave a little cough and covered her smile with her hand.

"That was just plain mean right there," said Cloud. "I confided in you and you used it to divert the attention away from you and Yuffie. That's just not right."

Leon shrugged.

"Nothing wrong with being a little ruthless."

"Look, you made Riku spill his dinner after he burned himself and went through all that work for you. This is how you repay him? You can have some of mine."

"It's okay. There's extra . . ."

Riku's eyes darted around the room before landing on Cloud. He rubbed at his forearm and then got to his knees to clean up the spilled food. Cloud rolled his eyes, shoved Leon, and walked over to Riku.

"Nice going, Leon," said Tifa.

"What? It's not like he should hide it, anyway. I'm doing him a favor. He'll thank me in the long run."

"Or give you a broken nose."

"Cloud's still in the room. He can hear you."

"Why do you always insist on announcing that?" said Leon. "We know."

"Because that's Cloud's way of telling you that you're pushing it a little too far," said Aerith. "Give him some room."

"It's okay," said Riku. "Really."

"No, it's really not. You should hear that kind of thing from me first. Preferably without the circus in town."

"Since when is the circus in town?" said Yuffie. "And what does that have to do with anything?"

"He was calling us the circus, Yuffie," said Leon, rolling his eyes.

"Why are we the circus?"

"Because we're all psychopaths," said Cloud.

"That includes you, too, you know," said Riku.

"Yeah, well, it includes you, now, too, because you actually choose to be with me."

"I never said I wasn't a psychopath."

The last of the spilled food was back on the plate, and before Riku returned to the kitchen he placed his free hand on the back of Cloud's neck and kissed him on the cheek.

"It's okay," he whispered. "Really. Don't be mad at Leon. I doubt his intentions were entirely selfish."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Don't make this more awkward than it already is."

Cloud smiled. Riku pulled back, got to his feet, and walked into the kitchen to toss away the wasted food and fix up a new plate. Leon sighed as Cloud returned to the couch.

"Everything all right?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. You just have a big fucking mouth, you know that?"

"Not nearly as big as yours. Hey, you said not to tone it down."

"Well as long as you're not toning it down, I'll be sure to assist Tifa in keeping at you and Yuffie until someone confesses something."

Tifa grinned.

"Ah . . . reinforcement. I like the sound of that."

"I don't," said Yuffie.

"You're not supposed to. It's you we need the reinforcements for," said Riku, returning to the living room. Instead of sitting in one of the chairs opposite the couch like where he'd been before, he crossed the area and squeezed between Leon and Cloud.

"You could have asked me to move over," said Leon, scooting down to the end.

Riku laughed and shrugged.

"Where would have been the fun in that?"

Cloud dropped his elbow on the armrest, propped his head up on the heel of his hand, and watched as Riku moved closer, touching his hip to Cloud's.

"I thought you were eating," said Cloud.

"I'm not really that hungry anymore," said Riku. He shrugged. "I already ate a little, but I'm never very hungry after I cook."

"Neither am I," said Leon. "After I've been staring at it too long it's like I already ate it."

"It's no wonder you're both so skinny," said Tifa. "Maybe that's why Cloud's kind of thick."

Cloud tore his eyes away from Riku to look at Tifa. He frowned.

"What are you talking about? I'm not thick."

"Sure you are. You're not _fat_, Cloud. I said you were thick."

"I know what you said. I'm not thick."

"I didn't mean it in a bad way except for teasing you about your cooking. You're just kind of a thick guy. It's your build."

Riku leaned into Cloud, laid his head on Cloud's shoulder, and patted his chest.

"Am I thick?" said Cloud.

"You're perfect," said Riku.

A smile started to spread across his lips and then fell.

"Hey, that doesn't answer my question!"

Riku snorted.

"You're a little thick, but that's what makes you so hot so you can just deal with it."

"Awe," said Yuffie. "That's so sweet."

"Yeah, Cloud," said Leon, "you are really hot."

"Fuck off," said Riku. "He's my boyfriend. I'm required to say shit like that."

"Oh," said Cloud, "so it _doesn't_ make me hot."

Riku laughed, lifted his body, and pecked him on the cheek.

"That didn't answer my question, either."

Riku pressed his lips against Cloud's ear.

"I'll let you know just how hot I think it is later when we're alone."

Cloud smirked. Leon shook his head.

"I don't even _want_ to know."

----------0----------

Soft lips pressed against Cloud's cheek and trailed down the flesh to brush along his jawbone. The tingling warmth of a tongue brushed a spot just below his ear and lapped its way down his neck sending shivers through his spine. Muscles in his abdomen drew tight as teeth nipped at tender spots in his neck, and Cloud groaned, a smile stretched across his face. His eyelids fluttered open, and Riku's face came into view, devilish smile in place, and his eyes gleaming.

"Good morning to you, too," said Cloud.

"Time for you to wake up," said Riku.

"It's dark outside."

"We have to paint today, remember?"

"Yes. Hence my protests."

"I brought you coffee."

Cloud took the cup from Riku's hand and brought it to his lips. Riku's eyes were on him, and Cloud squirmed, smiling. He shoved the blankets away and moved to get dressed.

"Hey, Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"I really like having you here."

Riku smiled, the look of pure adoration still in his eyes, and Cloud lowered his head to peck Riku's forehead.

"I like being here, too."

* * *

**_So fanfiction is sending alerts again, and that makes me happy._**

**_It appears that I am snarky now. Like . . . if my writing had to be described in one word, it would be snarky. I appreciate it. I never knew I was snarky before, and now I do._**

**_Ah, reviews_**:

**Dragonchild**: Ah, Riku's young. He'll be okay on the occasional pack and a half for the next twenty years or so. I'm glad you enjoyed. I'm the sadistic kind of person who likes to torture people with Yuffie, so throwing Riku in to be tortured by everyone is lots of fun.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: I didn't intend the "Too late," line, but when I start writing, the lines just keep coming, and the next thing I knew, Cloud had outed their living room excursion and I just shrugged and went, "Whatever you say, Cloud." Poor Riku. So you've only had two snow days? Hm . . . I had entire weeks off school because of two to six feet of snow. All right. I forgive you. You deserved a day off. I'm glad you're looking forward to Riku getting to know all of Cloud's friends. I'm personally especially excited for him becoming good friends with Leon.

**JediEmpress**: I love you, too, and thanks for reading my short, too. I was very excited about it.

**-find.me.please-**: I appreciate the compliments on my _style_ of writing, which sometimes is so nice to read because it's something that I developed on my own as opposed to characterizations and such, which I formulated through a lot of research. I hope you found this chapter 'exceedingly awesome' as well.

**Koji Inari**: Oh, God, I freaking love 'Dirge.' It's my new crack. Eh . . . .:cough cough:. Was that me? Heh. Anyway . . . Sorry to hear about your root canal. That really sucks. I'm happy that they're back together for now, too. They should have some contentment for a while again until DiZ shows up and the Roxas things starts and everything turns on it's head again, but . . . hn . . . I may have said too much.

**Lapse-Raevn**: Yes, I noticed the alert problem, too. I have my author account favorited on my old author account for my own organization and reference, and whenever I post, fanfiction insists on letting me know I've posted a new chapter. As I didn't get any of these, I assumed there was yet another alert issue. Happens a lot. Anyway . . . I don't think introducement is a word, but I will pretend I didn't notice, k? Yes, I wanted Riku to become more a part of Cloud's life, and ulitmately make Riku part of their little group I guess to maybe cement their relationship more before KH2, because we all know that's going to be a rough time for Riku. It's won't be all angsty, though; zaniness is sure to ensue everywhere Cloud goes. I want you to know I did steal the word 'psychopaths' from you for this chapter because when I read it, I went, "Yes! That's exactly right!" Yeah, I made Riku able to cook because I've sort of set him up as this momma's boy and little brother with an overprotective sister, read the term 'useful life skill,' somewhere, and went, 'Riku should be into that happy homemaker stuff,' which I continued in this chapter. They do complement each other very well, don't they?

**koyuki-san**: Ah, there's that word 'snark' again. I don't know why they're all so snarky to each other, but yes, I'm like that with my friends as well minus the boinking part, so I guess I just incorporated that here. I also appreciate that you like the way I write the sex. I always take great care in how I word things because I often think sex scenes sound either really feminine or really crappy. I will still never forget the day I read the word cock referenced as a 'meathook.' I did want to just thrust Riku into the group because, really, Riku behaving just how he is would fit in just fine, but I wanted a sense of nervousness there because he's not just one of the gang, yet. It's a nervewracking situation to come into an established group of friends, much less when it's your boyfriend's friends, and I wanted Riku to experience that here. I will assume this was a job well done.

**Futile Faith**: Thanks for letting me know. Much appreciated.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: Riku won't see Sora again until he does in KH2 since Sora's in that pod and everything. Painting? Next chapter.

**prettykitty3000**: So I totally checked my MySpace before I read your review and got your friend request. As usual, I said to myself, "Okay, so who are you and why do you want to be my friend." I looked at your profile, laughed at Dane Cook, giggled at the funny little avatars, and went, "Oh, she is so cute. Okay. You can be my friend. Approve." Then I read your review and felt like a real dumbass, but was also very excited that my new friend was also a reader, so yes . . . You are my myspace friend, now. My Chemical Romance was amazing. If I can gather the money together, I am going to see them two more times because, yes, it's a toss up between Gerard Way and Cloud over whom I love more. I'm glad you clarified that perfection thing. It's also a very large compliment. Thank you very much.

_**Also: A big thank you to all the readers who do not review, to the 36 people on my story alert list, and to the 30 people who have favorited this story. I love and appreciate you all.**_

**_Pimpage: If you haven't yet, check out my Cloud/Riku oneshots that I'm writing for Thirty Kisses on my author profile._**

**_Until next time on the Cloud/Riku show . . ._**

**_Sayonara._**


	37. New Beginnings

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 037. Soft

**Word Count**: 2,704

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: So much can change in a year. Leon wishes Riku luck that this year may be better than the last.

**Disclaimer**: I honestly really don't own any of this stuff. I have no authorization to use it, either; I just do because I'm a bad girl like that.

**Author's Note: **My space bar is squeaking. I just want you to think about what that sounds like when typing a prompt. Kay? Thanks. (NOTE: It's more amusing than annoying.)

* * *

**_Step Thirty-Seven: New Beginnings_**

Riku had a habit of taking care of things. Whether he was required to step in and lend a hand or not, Riku made himself a part of the solution to every problem. In school, this always made him the leader of the group and a meticulous student. At home, he picked up after himself and was the first to help out when his mother or father wouldn't be around. With his friends, he had the ideas, the schemes, and the plans to go about achieving it all.

Riku had a tendency to go above and beyond expectations. He was never content with being normal or average; there always had to be something bigger and better to achieve. In school, this always made his marks higher than most of his class, and led to many tutoring sessions with Sora. At home, he was particular about his chores, and never finished anything until displayed his best effort. With his friends, he was always around to lend an ear or a hand.

Riku never settled. He had big goals, and often made plans on the best ways to accomplish them. In school, his teachers named him among their most hard-working and ambitious students. At home, his parents encouraged every step, promising things would work out in the end. With his friends, they pushed each other, demanding their limits expand, and to dream beyond all average possibilities.

Sora called him crazy. Kairi said that it was as if he never stopped thinking. Ayumi worried that he'd burn out one day. Wakka wondered where he got the energy. Selphie just couldn't understand. Tidus swore nothing fazed him.

On days like these, Riku wondered just how much he had changed or if through this entire Heartless experience, he'd stayed just the same after all.

"You're a little early," said Riku, setting the over timer. He sat down at the counter and lit a cigarette.

"Just finished the wiring over at the orphanage," said Leon. "Cid went to check up on Aerith and Yuffie. Don't worry. They'll be back."

Riku chuckled. He watched as Leon slipped out of his jacket and sat across from him, lighting a cigarette of his own.

"That's a relief. I thought I might not get the pleasure of Yuffie's company today."

Leon snorted.

"No such luck. How was Cloud's disposition today when you left him?"

"All right. Begged me not to leave him, but he does that every day."

Riku shrugged. Leon frowned and flicked his ash into the tray.

"What's up? You seem down today."

Riku sighed. It'd been a little over a week since he'd arrived in Hollow Bastion—well into November. It was colder than usual, at least to Riku, though Cloud often complained of the unusually warm weather for this time of year. He spent his mornings and afternoons painting with Cloud, laughing, bantering, and simply enjoying his company. Riku left early in the evening to start dinner, which was finished by the time everyone returned. Sunday was the day off, and Riku spent that first Sunday with Leon and Cloud doing nothing. Two days ago, construction finished on the orphanage, and now that the power and plumbing were taken care of, Cloud and he were scheduled to start painting there tomorrow.

Nine days in Hollow Bastion. He'd spent nine days here already. By day five, he and Leon already struck up a friendship. Riku liked Leon; he was easy to talk to, laid-back, and never tried to bullshit him. Riku appreciated his blunt honesty and odd sense of humor so much that by day nine, being alone with Leon was comfortable. His statement, however, made Riku shift.

"Am I that easy to read?"

"Not really. If you were Cloud, I'd know what was bothering you, too."

Riku shrugged.

"It's nothing, really. Just thinking a lot about home, my friends, family . . ."

"Are you forgetting yet?"

"Can't remember what he looks like anymore, but I still know Sora's name. Don't know when that's going to go next. Mickey told you?"

"Told us all, yeah. Something about Sora sleeping in a pod and it has to do with memories, but I don't even remember much of that, anymore."

"Yeah. Me either."

"That's not what's bothering you, though."

Riku sighed again. He flicked his cigarette.

"No."

"And I don't think it's Ansem, either, or Destiny Islands . . ."

Riku shook his head.

"It's nothing, really. Just thinking about me, I guess. The way I used to be. How I am now. If I've changed, or if maybe . . . You know, with the darkness . . . I don't know. It wasn't darkness that was my enemy. It was my heart being so damn weak . . . And I think I've changed, but maybe I'm just like I was before I gave into the darkness . . . Or maybe I'm stronger because of it. I don't know. I told you it was nothing."

"And what provoked this?"

". . . Huh?"

"Thoughts like that aren't usually unprovoked. Something reminds you . . . makes you think about it. Don't tell me you hate painting even more than Cloud does."

Riku laughed.

"No. It's not that."

"So it was provoked, then . . ."

Riku rolled his eyes.

"You tricked me."

"Well it's obvious that something made you think about it. You were very resolved when you got here, and the longer you've been around, the more it's dwindled, but you don't seem depressed or like you're giving up. It just seems like you've been thinking a lot, and it's got you a little down."

"Yeah, I guess . . ."

"I just can't tell if you're feeling insecure about yourself or if it's something else . . ."

"No. I'm secure with where I'm going, and I'm looking forward to helping Sora against that Organization XIII when he wakes up, but until then . . . I just need to wait. Maybe gather some information so I have something to contribute when he wakes up. I'm just not sure what I'm going to do yet."

"So if that's not why you're down . . ."

"It's just one of those days, you know?"

"Not exactly. What happened?"

Riku sighed.

"You're just going to keep at me until I tell you, huh?"

"Yep. Have another cigarette. I can tell you need it."

Riku laughed.

"Nicotine is my crutch."

"Mine, too. Go ahead. Continue. What's got you thinking about everything?"

Riku sighed.

"It's been a long time since I've seen home, you know? Kairi's back on Destiny Islands, my friends, my family . . . The world is restored. They're all going to school, living normal lives . . . So much has changed in a year."

Leon nodded.

"A year is a long time."

"I know. It's not even a year since this all started—it's getting close, but . . . I don't know. I really thought I'd be home by now. I never really thought I'd be gone forever, even when I opened the door. I didn't think I'd be alone this long."

"Cloud will be pleased to hear you think you're alone."

Riku shook his head.

"I know I have Cloud, and I think I have you, now—"

Leon nodded.

"You do."

"I just . . ." Riku huffed. "Last year at this time I was going to school, talking about adventures, and spending almost every day at the beach. I don't think about what I'd be doing if I were home most of the time, but . . ."

"But?"

"But I'm sixteen. If I were home . . ."

"I thought you were fifteen," said Leon, frowning. He lit a cigarette. "I should let Cloud know he's misinformed about your age."

Riku laughed.

"I _was_ fifteen. It's my birthday."

Leon cocked an eyebrow, and then nodded.

"Ah. It's one of _those_ days."

Riku nodded.

"Yeah."

"One of those important, memorable holiday-type days that bring back a lot of memories and make you think about how much has changed in a year."

Riku nodded.

"That's right."

"Probably the first of those important, memorable holiday-type days that you've ever spent without your family and friends."

"Yep."

"And if you were home and none of this had ever happened, you'd be getting presents, eating cake, and doing all that normal stuff instead of waiting for Yuffie to annoy you and listening to Cid's plans on the town defense mechanism."

"Right."

Leon fished in his pocket and threw an unopened cigarette pack at Riku.

"Happy Birthday, kid."

Riku laughed, taking the pack, and shook his head.

"Thanks, Leon."

"Don't sound so ungrateful. I got you a present and everything."

"What if I only smoke menthol?"

"Then I'll just take it back."

"Fuck off. It's my birthday present. You can't take it back."

"Does Cloud know?"

Riku shook his head.

"Nah. I didn't want him to make a big deal out of it. I mean, I figured I'd tell him tonight or something . . . I can't stay fifteen forever. He'd start to wonder. I just . . ."

"Birthdays are uncomfortable. I know. Everyone gets all excited about you being a whole year older, and fusses over you, and all you can do is pretend to smile at the crappy gifts and say thanks. I know you didn't do that with me, though. I got you an awesome present."

"Yeah, you did."

"Cloud does make a big deal out of birthdays, though, just for the record. He'll be crushed you didn't tell him earlier. Prepare for him to try and make up for it Sunday."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Ever since we were kids at the orphanage. Aerith always threw little birthday parties for the younger kids, and she always got Cloud in on it, so he considers himself something of a birthday specialist. Christmas is my holiday."

"You? Christmas?"

"I can be jolly. It just happens once a year."

"Did you actually just use the word 'jolly'?"

"Okay, so maybe I'm not jolly, but I enjoy the season and all of its festivities."

"Let me guess—Aerith mostly handles that one, too."

Leon hesitated, and then nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, she does. I help, though."

"Why is it that now I'm dreading the Christmas season with your gang of friends a little bit?"

"I want you to know that I take that personally."

"Is Cloud really going to be crushed?"

"He'll feel bad, yes, and then he'll be moody until Sunday comes and he can make it up to you. Let him do it. It'll stop the moodiness."

Riku sighed, and then nodded.

"Yeah. Okay."

"Hey, Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"For what it's worth, I think you're probably stronger because of the darkness, but I doubt you've changed much. We never lose who we really are; we evolve into something better through our struggles."

"Get that from Aerith, too?"

"Yes, but it's appropriate in the situation, and it's something I truly believe. May sixteen work out better for you than fifteen did."

Riku put out his cigarette, smiled, and stood up as the oven timer went off. Leon walked over to the couch, grabbed his jacket, and slung it back over his shoulders.

"I have to go to the market. Someone stole my spare cigarettes."

"Fuck you."

"Watch your language. I know you're sixteen, now, and think you're a big grownup, but you're still a little boy."

"Hey, Leon?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks a lot. You know . . . for what you said earlier."

Leon shrugged.

"No problem."

----------0----------

Ayumi would have been proud if Riku could call her now and recount the details of everything that had happened since he disappeared. The lecture on the tip of her tongue would have dissipated by the time he reached the present, and though she'd reprimand him for his behavior, Riku was sure that she'd sing his praises in the end. She would say that she worried for him, but was so proud that he overcame his obstacles and refused to give up. Ayumi might even say that this was the Riku she knew and loved, the one she missed right before his departure when his grades started to slip, and they started to fight.

Kairi would assert that they would always be friends, and that maybe Riku had changed, but it was part of growing up. Her kind nature and cheerful disposition would brighten her face into a smile, and Kairi would change the subject, never one to allow Riku's brooding to continue.

Selphie would tell Riku he was so cute when he worried. Wakka would wonder why Riku always thought such depressing things. Tidus would say Riku had gone soft, and needed to stop moping so much. Sora . . . Riku couldn't even picture what Sora would do, anymore.

It wasn't exactly a miserable thought, either, to think that he had changed, or that maybe he was the same person all along. No matter which it was, he was still Riku at heart, and whoever this person was now couldn't really compare to the person he was a year ago. In the end, what really mattered was how Riku felt about himself.

Riku was washing his hands in the bathroom sink when he heard the door open, loud voices, and then the door closing. He dried his hands off on a towel and left the bathroom to find Cloud, Leon, Yuffie, Aerith, Cid, Tifa, Mickey, and Merlin in the living room. Riku frowned.

"Mickey? Merlin? I wasn't expecting you."

"You little punk," said Yuffie. She walked forward and poked Riku in the chest. "Why didn't you tell us it was your birthday?"

"Yeah," said Cloud. "I'd like to know when my boyfriend turns sixteen, you know."

"Because it sounds so much better than fifteen," said Tifa. "Pedophile."

"You shut up. It does sound better."

Riku raised his eyebrows. Leon shrugged.

"I lied," said Leon. "Cloud takes care of Christmas. I'm on birthday duty."

"We got you a cake," said Yuffie.

"It says 'Happy Birthday, Tommy.' I'd apologize, but you didn't give us much notice," said Tifa.

"So just pretend you're Tommy for the evening."

"Or at least when we cut the cake."

"Or he could pretend it says his name," said Cid.

"Or we could wipe off the icing and put Riku's name on, instead," said Cloud.

"With what?" said Leon. "We don't regularly keep icing in the house."

"Okay, then we could just wipe off the icing and let the cake be nameless."

"As long as you don't use your fingers, I don't care what you do."

"Leon?" said Riku. "Did you miss that part of our conversation about not making a big deal out of it?"

"Are you serious?" said Yuffie. "We make a big deal out of everything."

"Yeah," said Cloud. "As soon as Yuffie heard the word 'birthday,' she tried to run off and buy streamers."

"I almost got balloons, but Tifa took them away from me."

"What's wrong with balloons?" said Riku.

"Babe, think: Yuffie on helium," said Cloud.

Riku bit his lip and nodded.

"Ah. I see. Are you mad I didn't tell you?"

Cloud shrugged and crossed the room. He wrapped his arms around Riku's waist and kissed his forehead.

"I was a little hurt, I guess, that you'd tell Leon and not me, but then he told me about your conversation, and I forgave you."

"He does have plans for you both on Sunday, though," said Leon. "I hope you took me seriously when I said to expect them."

"Are we going to let the festivities begin or what?" said Yuffie, pulling confetti out of a brown-paper shopping bag.

"Where did you get that?" said Tifa.

"When you were taking the balloons back."

Riku laughed.

"Better than moping?" said Cloud.

Riku leaned his head against Cloud's shoulder and nodded.

"I should know better by now than to try and pull anything over on you people."

"You're having a good time. Admit it."

Riku smiled.

"Yeah, all right. You got me."

Cloud ran his hand over the top of Riku's head, and pressed a kiss to his hairline.

"Happy sixteenth."

* * *

**_Replies:_**

**Lapse-Raevn**: Psycopath is a good word. :) Riku won't see his friends again until he does in KHII. Everything going on right now is just the transition between CoM and KHII. I'm very excited for Roxas and the Organization, too. Hopefully you won't have to wait too long. Thanks for the kind words. Hope you liked this chapter, too.

**-find.me.please-**: Thank you very much. Hope I kept it up, too.

**koyuki-san**: The Snarky Gang needs a theme song, I think. I will try to think one up. Yes, poor Yuffie is suffering at the wrath of Riku's mouth, but she's an easy target. Leon will eventually suffer once Leon gets comfortable enough. I honestly don't even know if there would be any Leon/Yuffie in this. It just kind of happened. We will see. Leon is such a leather-clad god, and yes, Cloud is a hopeless dork. I think moody Riku fits in very well.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: Yes, Riku's cool with the housewife role. I took Riku as being a more in-control person with his friends and applied it to the little things in the relationship. Riku likes making sure Cloud is taken care of and so on. Believe it or not, I know many people who can't handle simple tasks like laundry. I'm not sure how many chapters Riku will be with Cloud, but it will continue for about ten or so, I think. I'll just have to see how things pan out.

**prettykitty3000**: I want the Roxas ordeal to happen, too. It is coming sooner than you'd probably expect, but I have a lot of time to cover in a short amount of chapters. Riku's sixteenth birthday is done and over now, though, so yes . . . Roxas _is_ coming.

**Dragonchild**: Yeah. Riku and Cloud are very cute, but it does kind of make your happy time go downhill when you realize their good time is going to be interrupted by Riku's new appearance. I'm excited to write it, though, because I've had this part worked out for awhile and I'm very excited to share it with everyone.

**Mangled Euphoria**: Oh, you'll get your action eventually. Coffee is appropriate for this story. Coffee is always appropriate. Enjoy your caffeine, cumguzzler.

**Koji Inari**: Welcome back! I love Dirge! You better finish it, or I will hunt you down with a wild pack of dogs for each chapter I post (btw: there are 63 to go). I'm so sorry about your root canal again. That _really_ sucks. Write more Dirge.

**_Thanks to all readers and people who have favorited or alerted this story or me. I love you all. I do write first and foremost for me, but I love sharing it with you._**


	38. Decoration

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 038. Ice Cream

**Word Count**: 2,400

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Cloud was on a mission for Christmas duty, and Riku can't help but ask why Leon calls Cloud, 'Strife.'

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

**_Step Thirty-Eight: Decoration_**

"So what's on today's agenda?" said Riku.

Cloud walked into the bedroom, towel-drying his hair. Riku was already dressed as he leaned across the mattress, straightening the blankets on the bed. He grabbed each pillow, readjusted the pillowcases, fluffed them up, and set them against the headboard. Cloud snickered and dropped his towel into the wash basket.

"What's so funny?"

"You, my happy little homemaker," said Cloud.

Riku frowned and sat on the bed.

"Well someone has to pick up around here, and I fear for your health if you try to do it. You're just as notorious for being hopeless as you are for being moody."

"You like me this way. Makes you feel useful."

Riku smiled.

"Maybe a little. So what are we doing today?"

Cloud shrugged and walked over to the closet, rifling through for an appropriate outfit.

"December's coming. Aerith mentioned something to me about getting Christmas decorations."

"Are you really on Christmas duty? Leon wasn't joking?"

Cloud shook his head.

"Nope. We do it every year, or at least we used to. This will be the first year since the Heartless. Aerith and I usually work on getting the decoration and putting them up inside. Cid, Leon, and Yuffie string the lights, because I'm notorious for falling off ladders—"

"Of course you are."

Cloud grinned.

"Yeah, and then we all go and pick out the Christmas tree together. We have to get started soon, though, because with the restoration and everything Aerith wants to decorate the town, too. Wants to put up a big tree in the market and everything. Should be fun. And of course you're invited to join in with the festivities. Help decorate the tree and stuff. There'll be mistletoe."

Cloud pulled a black turtleneck on and then wriggled his eyebrows. Riku laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Well as long as there's mistletoe, count me in."

"Yeah?"

Cloud closed the space between them, put his hands on either side of Riku's hips, and leaned forward. He pressed his nose against Riku's and licked his lips. Riku's breath hitched; he smirked and nodded.

"Yeah."

"You're hot."

"We have to go shopping, Cloud. Get off the minor."

Riku smiled, and Cloud pulled back to find Leon in the doorway, leaning against the jamb and smirking.

"Well, if you insist . . ."

Cloud grabbed for Riku's crotch. He squeaked and shifted back on the bed in fits of laughter. Leon rolled his eyes.

"Not like that. Pedophile."

"He's trying to molest me," said Riku.

"You know that what you just attempted to do is punishable by law in most worlds."

Cloud grinned.

"And I've done worse than that."

Riku nodded. Leon rolled his eyes.

"You two make me sick."

Riku scrambled farther back on the bed and rolled away from Cloud. He stood and moved to readjust the blankets.

"Look what you made him do after he went to all that trouble," said Leon.

Cloud shrugged and walked to the mirror, inspecting his hair.

"You're coming shopping with us?" said Riku.

"Cloud can't be trusted with munny."

Riku's eyes widened and he looked from Leon to Cloud.

"Can you do _any_thing?"

"I'm not as bad as Tifa," said Cloud. "Besides, that isn't even true. He's just coming with because everyone else has plans for today and he doesn't want to sit around in the house all by himself. He just won't admit it."

Leon nodded.

"This is true. I won't admit it."

"But you just kind of did," said Riku.

"Shh . . ." said Cloud. "You aren't supposed to point that out."

"Yeah," said Leon. "That's not how this conversation goes."

"Leon hates us all and never really wants any of us for company. He's miserable, distant, cold, and uncaring."

"And Cloud's a stoic bitch who doesn't want to hear anything anyone ever has to say."

"That's right."

Riku stared.

"You both have severe psychological problems I don't even want to try to touch upon."

Leon laughed.

"I love this kid. He's such an asshole. Now where's the munny?"

"Aerith left it on the bulletin board. You know . . . where it belongs," said Cloud.

"I'm surprised at you."

"Why?"

"You actually know where the munny is supposed to go."

"Fuck off. Get your jacket."

"Already on it," said Leon, walking out of the room.

Riku looked from the empty doorway to Cloud.

"Does he really think I'm an asshole?"

Cloud laughed.

"I have no idea, but I do know that's Leon's way of saying he enjoys having you around."

----------0----------

"I'm really excited about Christmas this year," said Riku.

Leon, Cloud, and Riku were out looking at Christmas decorations and loading their cart full of tinsel, garland, bulbs, wreaths, and lights. Leon kept stringing garland through Cloud's hair, and Cloud reached around to bat Leon's hands away.

"But the spikes made such great hooks for the garland," said Leon.

"You're getting on my nerves," said Cloud.

"Why're you looking forward to Christmas so much?"

"Huh?" said Riku. "Oh. Well . . . I mean, yeah, it's going to be weird without my family, but . . ."

Riku smiled and looked away. Leon laughed.

"Oh, yeah. First Christmas for the happy couple."

"Yeah, there's that . . . and snow."

"Snow?" said Cloud.

"Yeah. It snows here, right?"

"Right."

"Well it didn't snow on Destiny Islands so I've never seen it before."

"Awe," said Leon. "That's so cute. Makes me want to vomit a little."

"Fuck off," said Cloud. "He's being sweet."

"Watch it, Strife, or we may have to spar here in the middle of the store."

"Those are fighting words, Leonheart. Watch yourself. You wouldn't want to cause a scene."

"You just don't want to cause a scene because you don't want any witnesses while I kick your ass."

"You wish you were capable of kicking my ass, and get that tinsel out of my hair."

"It's not tinsel; it's garland."

Riku laughed.

"I love when you guys argue," said Riku. "It's so amusing."

"Your boyfriend's a sadistic bastard."

"So are those your nicknames or something?"

"Are what our nicknames?" said Cloud.

"Strife and Leonheart."

Leon and Cloud stared. The garland in Cloud's hair fell to the floor. Leon looked to Cloud and snickered.

"What?" said Riku. "I get the feeling I've just said something very stupid with they way you're looking at me."

"No . . ." said Leon. He looked at Cloud and burst into laughter again. "He doesn't know?"

Cloud stared.

"Obviously not."

"What did I say?" said Riku. "Not nicknames?"

"Leonheart's my last name," said Leon.

"Your name is Leon Leonheart?"

Cloud snorted.

"See? It sounds retarded."

"No," said Leon. "I go by Leon."

"His name is Squall."

"You had to say it."

"Get over it. Your name is Squall."

"I go by Leon."

"It sounds retarded."

"Watch it, Strife."

Riku raised his eyebrows and frowned.

"So . . ." said Riku. "Then Strife . . .?"

Cloud snickered.

"Yeah. Cloud Strife."

"I can't believe you've been dating for so long now and claim to be so in love and everything and he didn't even know your last name," said Leon. "I mean, that's like not knowing your boyfriend's birthday . . . wait . . . that's right. You didn't."

Riku laughed and shrugged.

"I don't know Cloud's, either, and hey . . . it's appropriate."

"August nineteenth," said Cloud. "And what's appropriate?"

"Your name. I guess personalities do have something to do with our names."

Leon snickered.

"Yeah," said Leon. "You're just a big, miserable rain cloud full of strife."

Cloud smiled.

"So I guess it's not my fault I'm so moody. It was destined."

"Thanks, Riku. Now we've just given him an excuse."

"Well you're a Squall, so you're turbulent and hostile like a storm," said Riku.

Leon stared.

"Okay, fine," said Cloud. "We'll get you. Riku, what's your last name?"

Riku grinned.

"Asaki."

"Asaki?"

"Yeah."

Leon looked at Cloud and shook his head.

"Yeah, that's not funny," said Leon.

Cloud shook his head.

"Okay," said Leon. "Now you know each other's entire names and birthdays. Do I need to help you learn more of the basic stuff you should know about each other, or can you take it from here?"

Riku frowned.

"Wait . . . Did you say August nineteenth?"

"Yeah," said Cloud. He rummaged through Christmas tree bulbs, grabbed a pack, and threw them into the overflowing cart.

"We were together this year on August nineteenth."

Cloud's eyes widened. Leon snickered.

"You have so much in common," said Leon. "Hiding birthdays, identities . . . do you even _know_ each other, or was that all a sham, too?"

"Eh . . ." said Cloud. He coughed and then smiled. "I didn't want to make a big deal out of it?"

Riku stared for a few seconds and then laughed.

"So you're twenty-three now?"

Cloud pursed his lips and scratched his chin. Leon snickered.

"Yes?"

"Damn. And I just started to feel like I was catching up a little. Oh, well. It's been too long for me to get upset about it. I'll get you next year."

Leon shook his head.

"I can't believe you didn't even know each other's last names or birthdays."

"I know the important stuff," said Cloud.

"Yeah," said Riku. "Well . . . most of it."

"Right. And now we learned more about each other. That's what a relationship is, Leon. You learn more about each other as you grow together."

"That was beautiful, Cloud," said Riku.

"Thanks."

"Oh, here we go," said Leon, pulling a strand of garland from the shelf. "Purple is your color, Cloud."

"Get that thing out of my hair."

----------0----------

"Do you think Aerith will like everything?" said Riku as they walked across the marketplace.

"We certainly bought enough," said Leon. "She better."

"Do we have much munny left?" said Cloud.

"Some. Why?"

"I'm kind of hungry."

"Does your stomach have a bottom?"

"I often wonder that myself," said Riku.

"I don't remember this shop being here," said Leon as they approached the borough.

"Scrooge McDuck's Ice Crème Shoppe," said Cloud, looking at the sign. "Did this just move in here?"

"Isn't it a little cold for ice cream?" said Riku.

"Customers, Uncle Scrooge," yelled one of the little duck boys from the item shop. Cloud didn't know which. He could never tell them apart anyway. "The ice cream's really bad," he added before he disappeared behind the counter.

A duck came out from the store (which was apparently just a large refrigerator). He wore a waistcoat and top hat. Cloud stared.

"Things just keep getting weirder and weirder, don't they?" said Riku.

Leon snorted.

"Hello, boys," said the duck. "I'm Scrooge McDuck. I just opened shop here and am still working on the flavors, but we are giving out free samples."

"Isn't a little cold for ice cream," Riku repeated. The duck glared.

"Take it back," said Cloud. "Free samples, everyone! Come on!"

Riku and Leon exchanged glances. Leon shrugged, and they each took an ice cream bar from the tray. Cloud turned it over in his hands. He'd never had brown-orange ice cream before, and was hesitant to try it at all, but the duck continued to stare. Leon looked between Cloud and Riku before touching his tongue to the sugary concoction.

"You're a brave soul," said Riku.

Leon grimaced and tried to smile.

"Wow. That's . . . that's really . . ."

Scrooge McDuck took an ice cream bar from the tray, licked it, and grimaced.

"Terrible. Ah. Back to the drawing board."

He disappeared back into the shop, tray in hand. Riku, Cloud, and Leon tossed the ice cream bars into the trash can. The little duck poked his head over the counter at the item shop.

"I told you so."

"Let's get some real food," said Cloud.

Leon nodded.

"I need that taste out of my mouth."

"Maybe we should drop off the decorations at the house first, though," said Riku.

"Sounds good to me," said Cloud.

Cloud transferred the shopping bags from his left hand to his right and put the free arm around Riku's waist. Riku smiled as he stepped closer to Cloud and glanced over to Leon.

"We aren't going to make you puke again, are we?" said Riku.

Leon shrugged.

"As disgusting as you two are, it's better than a moody, grumpy Cloud. At least you make him less annoying."

"And that," said Cloud, "is Leon's way of saying he's happy for us."

"I should have shoved that ice cream bar down your throat and made you choke on it," said Leon as they walked into the borough.

"Don't pretend you have homicidal tendencies, Leonheart. We know you're a big softy."

"Shh . . ." said Riku. "That's not how this conversation is supposed to go."

Leon snorted.

"That's right. You can't expose me. That ruins the fun of the game."

"Yeah. Way to go, Strife."

Cloud pulled back to look at Riku, his eyebrows raised. Riku smirked.

"Watch out," said Leon. "Asaki catches on quick. He'll be trash-talking circles around you before you know it."

"Not that it's hard. Cloud can barely get two sentences in without tripping over his own tongue. He's hopeless."

Cloud shook his head and mussed Riku's hair. Leon snickered.

"You play mean," said Cloud.

"Yeah, we can keep you around for awhile," said Leon. "Welcome to the club, kid."

"The club?" said Riku.

"Yep. It means that if you and Cloud were to ever break up, you can stay our friend and we'll throw Cloud to the sharks."

"Way to be a friend, Leon," said Cloud.

"Then I guess we better not break up," said Riku. "I'd feel bad if they fed you to the sharks, and I just can't have that on my conscience."

Cloud tightened his grip around Riku's waist and smiled.

"I love you," said Riku.

"Yeah, yeah. I love you, too."

They entered the house, and Riku took the shopping bags from Cloud and Leon.

"I'll go put these in the hall closet," said Riku. "Keep them all together for Aerith."

Cloud nodded, and as Riku disappeared down the hall, Leon's hand fell to Cloud's shoulder and squeezed. Cloud turned his head back to meet Leon's eyes. He smiled and nodded.

"He's a keeper?" said Cloud.

Leon nodded.

"Definitely."

* * *

**_Thank you so much for your patience in waiting for this chapter._**

**_So Christmas is coming up for the boys, Riku will be getting taller with his long, luxurious hair, and then . . . well, I guess Deep Dive is coming up, too. Like really soon. (Okay, really soon conisdering there are 100 chapters.) I'd say to expect to hear from DiZ and meet Roxas within the next ten chapters. Deep Dive within the next fifteen._**

**_Don't worry, though. I've got lots of fun goodies in mind to fill up the space between now and then including the story on Riku's KHII partyboy outfit._**

**_::insert evil snicker here::_**

**_And for the reviews:_**

**Lady Karai**: Are you okay? I'm sorry I made you fall over from laughing about Yuffie on helium. ::smirk:: Yeah, I found that amusing, too, because I amuse myself. Anyway, there was lots more dialogue in this one, too. I'm a little worried that I'm using too much filler, but I feel it kind of needs to be done to give the couple more of a stability after being apart for so long with the events of KHII coming up without all hell breaking loose. Plus . . . you know . . . Riku needs time for his hair to grow. Heh. So, yeah. Hoped you liked this one, too, and thanks for the review.

**Lapse-Raevn**: Yes, I mean when he turns back from his Xehanort-lookalike-ness. I mean, he will see Sora and Kairi before then in glimpses, but they of course won't speak to him until he does in KHII 'cause I'm following the story very carefully. And . . . um . . . yes, they will continue dating while Riku isn't exactly Riku, though . . . hm . . . must not say too much . . . yes. They will continue to date. It will have it's complications, but yeah, they'll be together and Riku will not look like Riku.

**koyuki-san**: It's getting warm and fuzzy now that Christmas is approaching since you have to have that nice stuff before KHII when the shit hits the fan again. But that's life, isn't it? Things are going great and then everything falls apart. Or at least that's my life. That cake part cracked me up so much. It's kind of sad to laugh maniacally while typing your own story, but I do it, and I hope people comment on it, and you did so that made me happy.

**Soul Writer of Dark Truth**: You've been reading and reviewing a lot of my stories. Thanks very much. You're welcome for the Cloud/Riku stories. I know how sad it was to wander the fic-less world of Cloud/Riku. I did it for months before I said, "Damnit. Fine. If no one will write it, then I will." And this is what I have to show for it. Excuse me while I go and write my next short.

**The Glass Slipper**: It's okay if you're a brat, too. I also read your Christmas story with Sora/Leon and the side couple of Cloud/Riku like twenty times and I squee every time, especially at the Cloud/Riku parts. They're so funny with their food nicknames and all. Thank you for the compliments on characterization and grammar as I haven't played any of the Final Fantasy games and I feel like a little shit coming in and writing so much about both Cloud and Leon. As for the grammar, I like hearing that kind of thing considering I am going back to school to work in publishing so . . . yeah. I have worked very hard on honing my grammar. I'm glad you got to share your birthday with Riku, and a happy belated one to you!

**-find.me.please-**: I wasn't as reminiscent on my sixteenth, either, but then again I wasn't away from my family because I destroyed my home with Heartless. ::cough cough:: Poor Riku.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: Well Sora was supposed to be in that capsule for like a year so I'm taking advantage of it. Yes, I did turn Cloud into a big softy, but I think that's what real love can do to us, you know? Brings out the best and the worst. So now that Riku has brought out the best . . . hm . . . I actually didn't think of that. Maybe he brings out the worst in Cloud's laziness and inability to do anything for himself. I could incorporate something . . . hm . . . off to plot . . .

**Chalice of Chelsea**: You are back! Yay you! Welcome back, and yes . . . heh. Riku opens up to Leon and Leon goes out and makes a scene. These boys are all so mean to each other. I adore it.

**prettykitty3000**: I always have crazy fan-girl issues. I just went to see Taste of Chaos and cried four times when The Used were on. It was the craziest fan-girl moment of my life. Anyway. . . Thanks for the hyper-giddyness. And btw, you can use Internet speak on the Internet. Just thought I'd let you know.

**Koji Inari**: I'm a cat person, too. Heh. Now Cloud isn't less of a pedophile. Hah! Poor Cloud. Well, he is because Riku's older, but Cloud's older, too, so ha ha ha ha ha. Yes, Riku was sixteen when he met Cloud in your story. Yay for Dirge and yay for underage Riku! Yay all around!

**Beatrisu**: I came to give the reply to this review and went, "Oh! New reader! I don't recognize your name!" I felt very proud of myself for being so clever and then I saw the first line of your review said you just read the enitre thing in two days, and I went, "Hm. Heh. Duh." I'm sorry you were sick and I hope you're feeling better. Yeah, it is an unusual pairing, but . . . well, yes. I think they fit so well together and I couldn't find any stories so I just went with it. I'm so glad you didn't regret it. I always get really happy when I bypass stories, eventually read them, and then love them. It's like a little gift. Yes, I'm a writing machine when I get the time, only I don't get a lot of time recently (and I'm writing shorts out the ass) so the updates have been slower. I foresee them picking up sometime soon. Thanks for reading. I appreciate it.

**rabid behemoth**: Wow, that was a lot of reviews. I don't know if you caught up yet, but when you do get to read this, thank you for reading. I'm glad you loved it up until chapter 15 at least. No, I have never played FFVII. I've watched Advent Children and read little things about Cloud on FF fansites and that's about it. I do have my hands on a copy of FFVII now, though, so I just need to wait for the memory card to come in the mail and I'm good to go. I must say thought that now that you're nervous about the Sephiroth characterization, so am I. Oh, dear.

**_Thanks to everyone for reading and/or reviewing._**

**_While you're waiting for more 100 Steps, check out my shorts, which are piling up as we speak. I do apologize for working on them when I could be working on this, but I get the ideas in my head and have to write them before I lose them. I'd be terribly disappointed if they didn't get out there, so . . . yeah. Can't have 100 Steps hindered while I'm thinking about something else, either. The sooner I write my little side ideas the sooner my head clears to come back to this story._**

**_I have a busy weekend coming up again, but I should get some more of this out tomorrow or Sunday. There will also be a short coming in the next two days because it popped into my head while driving to Sheetz and won't leave me alone._**

**_Long live Cloud/Riku._**

**_Feel free to click the review button. It won't bite. Promise._**


	39. Firsts

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 039. Stress

**Word Count**: 3,951

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: It was a day of firsts, and the perfect ending to a perfectly miserable day.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

_**Step Thirty-Nine**: **Firsts**_

When they finished painting the orphanage, Riku thought Cloud would cheer up. As the holiday season approached, he grew quieter, more distant, and more reserved. Riku tried to get him to talk—maybe prodded more than he should—but Cloud remained quiet. He considered asking Leon about Cloud's mood, but decided against it. More likely than not, Leon would say that Cloud was just moody like this and it was nothing out of the ordinary. Riku thought that, perhaps, it really was nothing, but when Cloud didn't revel in no longer having to paint, Riku worried.

The Christmas season was supposed to be a festive occasion full of comfort and joy, or at least that's what that one carol claimed. You were supposed to spend it with your friends and family. Peace on earth, good will toward men. There was supposed to be laughter, hot chocolate, and chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Sure, Riku had never experienced most of these things, but he'd always assumed that had something to do with the climate of Destiny Islands. It was already hot during Christmas, and the last things they needed were hot beverages and open fires.

Christmas this year was supposed to be different. He wouldn't be able to spend this time with his family, and so he hoped the magic of those classic Christmases would make up for it. There was already a large evergreen in the Hollow Bastion market. Wreaths, mistletoe, candles, and a small tree decorated the house he shared with Cloud and Leon. The weather was windy and cold—freezing, one might call it. Riku had no idea the temperature could be so frigid. Excitement would have built within him as the season approached, the days got shorter, and the forecast called for snow, but Cloud was moody. His high expectations were currently grounded.

On a Saturday morning, Riku woke to the warm smell of cookies wafting through the house. The spot in bed beside him was vacant and no longer warm. Riku frowned, searching for the time. He got out of bed to find Leon in the kitchen mixing bowl after bowl of batter. Pans of unbaked cookies were everywhere. On the sofa in the living room were two large cardboard boxes marked 'ornaments.'

"We're decorating the tree today," said Leon.

"What time is it?"

"Eleven. You slept late. For you, anyway."

"Where's Cloud?"

"He went out to help Aerith with decorating the market. Don't worry; he'll be back to help with the tree."

"When did he get up? I mean . . . I'm just usually up first."

"I got him up around eight to help me with the cookies, but then Aerith came over. I was going to get you up, but he told me to let you sleep."

"Oh."

Riku fidgeted. He looked around the area and took a seat at the counter. A cigarette slid from his pack and he lit up.

"That's an awful lot of cookies for just us."

"I'm making them for the kids at the orphanage, too."

"Tifa just about got them all moved in, then?"

"Yeah. Aerith is going to help out there, too. She's planning a Christmas party for the kids. It's rough this time of year—not having a family, and everything."

Riku nodded.

"Yeah . . ."

"I guess you're in that boat this year, too."

"Yeah. I mean . . . I guess I _could_ go home, but . . ."

"Darkness in your heart. Can't face them. Sure."

"Does Cloud . . . I mean . . . does he . . .?"

"Get weird this time of year?"

". . . Yeah."

"Cloud gets weird whatever time of year he feels like getting weird. It isn't limited to Christmas."

"I figured you'd say something like that."

"You've noticed he's moody."

"Of course I've notice. He's my boyfriend."

"Trouble in paradise?"

Riku shrugged.

"Eh . . . you probably don't want to hear about it."

"Not having sex or something?"

"Something like that?"

"What? He's backed off on the cuddle talk?"

"You could say that."

Leon frowned.

"No sex. No sweet talk. What _does_ he do?"

"Falls asleep with his back to me and says nothing if I ask him what's wrong. He actually snapped at me yesterday to stop asking."

Leon shook his head.

"Have you tried to talk to him about it?"

"Of course. He doesn't want to talk."

"I warned him about this . . ."

"Huh?"

"Let's just say that this is a very Cloud-like thing to do."

"What do you mean?"

"Pull away from something good. Get close to someone and then run away because it scares him. Thinks he's not good enough. Beats himself up. Worries too much; thinks too much. Tries to avoid pain by distancing himself from being emotionally involved, only he does it too late so he ends up hurting more."

"This is a very Cloud-like thing to do?"

"Yes. Congratulations, Riku. You're officially a very important person to him."

"Him being really distant makes me officially very important?"

"Yes. You've officially crossed the Cloud hurdle from boyfriend to serious boyfriend. Now you get to meet the Cloud we all know and love."

"So when you call him moody . . ."

"I wasn't talking about how he's been since he's been with you, that's for sure. He and I weren't close for years because he's so removed. I tried to warn him not to do this shit with you, but he just doesn't listen. I told him to just be happy and take it for what it is, but no. He has to pull this crap."

"So what should I do?"

"Force him to talk to you."

"What if he yells at me?"

Leon shrugged.

"Yell back."

----------0----------

Cloud spoke little since returning from market. He muttered under his breath a lot about decorating and his back, but if Leon or Riku tried to start conversation, he ignored it. Riku tried to catch his eye on several occasions when the time came to decorate the tree, but Cloud averted his eyes. He answered questions in as few syllables as possible. At one point, Riku caught Cloud looking his way. Riku offered a small smile, but Cloud looked away before the gesture could be received.

Leon passed Cloud on his way to the sofa for more strings of lights, and as he did so, he leaned toward him and said, "You're sabotaging it."

Cloud glared.

Later in the night Riku followed Cloud into the bedroom and began undressing for bed. As Riku slid into his pajama pants, he watched from the mirror as Cloud grabbed a book from the nightstand. Riku turned.

"You're going to read?"

Cloud glanced up.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I don't know. I just thought we could . . ." Riku bit his lip. "I don't know."

"If you don't know, then neither do I."

Riku frowned, approached the bed, and sat. Cloud went back to his book.

"You know . . . Leon's probably in bed by now."

"Yeah."

His shoulders shrugged forward.

"We're all by ourselves."

"We usually are at night."

Riku pouted. Cloud hadn't looked up from his book again. He moved closer and stretched his body out on his side. He propped his head on his hand and stared up. Cloud's eyes moved from the pages to look down at Riku.

"Can I help you?"

"I just thought . . ." Riku took the book from Cloud's hands and laid it upside down, still open, on the nightstand. He returned his arm to wrap it around Cloud's hips. "You know . . . it's been over a week. Not since we went Christmas shopping. And it's been awfully cold. I thought maybe we could heat things up a little."

Cloud stared.

"I'm trying to read."

"Wouldn't you rather have sex?"

Cloud sighed.

"What with you?"

Riku frowned.

"What's with me? What's with you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been all moody and miserable for days now, and every time I try to ask you what's wrong you tell me that it's nothing."

"That's because it is nothing."

"I'm not blind. I can tell something's bothering you."

"Yes, but it's nothing so I don't want to bother you with it."

"I just wish you'd talk to me."

"I don't want to talk to you."

Riku sat up.

"Excuse me?"

"I said—"

"Yeah, I heard you the first time. I'm not deaf, either. What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I don't want to talk to you about it."

"Why not?"

"Because it's nothing."

"If it's bothering you then it has to be something."

"Well it's not."

Riku shrugged.

"Fine."

"Fine."

Cloud snatched his book from the nightstand. Riku glared at the wall for a few seconds, shifted his position, glared, and shifted some more.

"Would you sit still?" said Cloud.

"Would you tell me what's bothering you? It's driving me crazy."

"No."

"Then I'm not going to bother to try sitting still for you."

Cloud glared over the top of his book.

"You really want to know what's bothering me?"

Cloud set the book back on the nightstand. Riku turned.

"Yes."

"Okay. You."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah. Because it was nothing, but now it is something because of you, so yeah . . . you. You're bothering me."

"Why am I bothering you?"

"Because you won't shut up? Because you keep asking me what's wrong even when I tell you it's nothing to be worried about?"

"Oh, excuse me for being concerned."

"Being concerned is one thing. Being in my face all the time and not giving me room to breathe is another."

"I'm not in your face all the time."

"Yes, you are. It was nothing, but then you had to go and make it something."

"I only started asking you what was wrong _after_ you started acting weird."

"I'm not acting weird. I'm acting just like me. Just ask any of my friends."

"Yeah, I know. You're miserable, distant, and always beating yourself up over stupid shit. I've heard."

"Then you should know I haven't been acting weird."

"But you haven't ever been like this toward me, and I want to know what's wrong. I don't see what wrong with that."

"There _wasn't_ anything wrong. I told you it was nothing, and it was. I was just a little irritated with you being around all the fucking time."

"I thought you liked having me here?"

"I do, but I'm kind of a loner. I like my personal space. I like having time to myself, and I don't get that with you. You're here _all_ the fucking time. I can't get away from you. I can't even sit in the same room as you and do something without you yapping straight through it, but it was nothing. I just figured I wasn't used to it, or I'm so stressed out with all the Christmas stuff that it was just getting to me more than usual. Whatever it was, it was going to pass so I didn't want to say anything and upset you, but _you_ had to keep nagging at me and making it worse."

"Well I'm sorry I'm in your way all the time. Maybe I should go back to the realm of darkness again or something and then I won't be yapping at you anymore."

"That isn't even what I said. Did you even listen to what I just said to you?"

"Yeah. I'm nagging you and in your personal space all the fucking time."

"No. I said it was nothing and that it was going to pass. That was the entire point."

"I thought the entire point was how it would have passed if I wasn't such a nag."

"If you aren't going to listen to what I have to say, there's no point to this conversation."

"Yes, there is. You're an asshole. I've been picking up after you, feeding you, getting you your coffee, and doing everything else under the goddamn sun for you, and all you can do is pull away and then bitch about me nagging at you."

"I never said you had to do any of that stuff, and I've thanked you countless times for it. What do you want from me? To worship your almighty greatness?"

"I never said that."

"Then what was the point of that? To make me feel bad for being annoyed?"

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad."

"Then what are you trying to do, because your entire point has escaped me?"

"I just meant that I don't know why you have to bitch about me trying to find out what's bothering you when I've been trying so damn hard to do nice things for you."

"I wasn't bitching about you. I told you it was nothing."

"Look, I really don't want to fight with you . . ."

"Then stop."

"I didn't start this."

"Yes, you did. I was trying to read and mind my own business. You turned nothing into something. You started the arguing. Are you noticing a pattern here?"

"And all I did was try to get you to fuck me."

"No, you tried to use sex to get me to talk to you."

"No, actually, I really wanted to have sex."

"I can't imagine why if I've been such an asshole."

"Because I wanted to feel close to you again."

"Close? You want to feel close? I feel _smothered_."

"That's because you're emotionally distant and afraid that if you get too attached to me, everything's going to go to hell."

"Kind of just did, but thanks for that assessment on my psychology."

"Anytime."

"I'm not afraid of getting too attached to you."

"Yes, you are. It's that stupid bullshit I have to listen to you moan about where you're always torn between who you are and who you think you should be. You think you shouldn't have to talk about your feelings because that's girl stuff, and you can't be too attached because that's girl stuff, too, but I have news for you, Cloud. We don't have to talk about our relationship or where it's going, and I don't need an hourly update on your emotions, but if something is bothering you it's _healthy_ to talk about it."

"What is it with you and this talking about your feelings is healthy thing? It's not healthy to talk about something bothering me when it's inconsequential and doesn't need to be said because it's going to go away on its own, _especially _if it'll hurt your feelings. It's stupid. And you have to listen to _me_ moan about bullshit? What about you and the darkness? What about you and that retarded fight with your friend? You _should_ beat yourself up more often. Maybe then you'd do less stupid things."

"So me and the darkness was bullshit, was it? That's funny coming from someone whose darkness took on its own living, breathing entity. I know I've done stupid shit, but I accept that I can't change it and move on. The darkness wasn't even my problem. My problem was being weak—kind of like you."

"Did you just call me weak?"

"Well Sephiroth is still kicking, isn't he?"

"I can't believe you'd bring Sephiroth into this when you've still got Ansem in your heart. You know, maybe that's why you're acting like such a brat."

"Did you just call me a brat?"

"Yeah. You're age is really showing right now."

"I can't believeyou would bring my age into this."

"I'm just in awe. You really are a sixteen-year old kid shooting your mouth off, aren't you?"

"Fuck you."

"Yeah, fuck you, too."

"I can't believe you."

"You know what? You just really need to stop talking right now because I don't think I can stand to listen to your voice anymore."

"Not a surprise considering I'm probably in your face again."

"You just don't know how to take a hint, do you?"

"You're the one who started this crap in the first place, and now you're pulling this shit on me?"

"And you're still talking . . ."

"Fine. I can see when I'm not wanted."

"Took you long enough."

"I don't even want to look at you anymore."

"Great. That means you're leaving, right?"

"I can't stand you right now."

"So go, and take your mouth with you."

Riku huffed, stood, and crossed the room. The door slammed behind him. He made it halfway to the couch before he burst into tears.

"Come on."

Riku looked up to see Leon walking across the living room. He grabbed his jacket from by the door, slid it on, and handed Riku his coat.

"You heard?" said Riku.

"I think half of Hollow Bastion heard. Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"For a walk. Clear your head."

Riku hung his head, nodded, and followed Leon out the door.

----------0----------

They walked to the marketplace, down around the river (Riku burst into a fresh batch of tears), and by the time they got back to the borough, the waterworks tapered off. Leon and Riku sat on the steps leading from the marketplace into the borough.

"I shouldn't have yelled back," said Riku. "I shouldn't have nagged. I didn't even _mean_ half of it. I mean, yeah, I meant it at the time, but . . ."

"Don't let it get to you," said Leon. "It'll be all right."

"He probably hates me now."

"First fight, then?"

"We've had disagreements before, but . . ."

"Not like that?"

Riku sighed.

"Guess I'll be leaving."

Leon raised an eyebrow.

"Why would you be leaving?"

"You heard him."

"Yeah. You had a fight. I had no idea you were both so defensive. Or so cutthroat."

Riku shrugged.

"I just don't want to be around if we aren't together, you know? I don't think I could handle it."

"Why wouldn't you be together?"

"You heard it."

Leon nodded.

"Yeah. I just don't understand why you'd break up over something trivial like that. Not if you love each other as much as you say."

"But . . . but we just . . ."

"Had a fight. Fights don't mean that you break up. They're fights. You'll go back. You'll both be calmed down. You'll apologize, talk it out, assure each other that you didn't mean most of it, and that will be that." Leon laughed. "That was a hell of a first fight, too. You're in for some amazing make up sex."

Riku stared.

"But . . ."

"Welcome to an adult relationship, Riku. Fights don't equate with a break up."

"But I said that stuff about Sephiroth, and . . ."

"And he pulled a dig at your age. Your age doesn't bother him, and you don't think he's weak."

"I actually think he's the strongest person I've ever met."

"You both got ridiculously carried away over something that was really trivial. I mean, sure, he had a point. If he was just feeling a little suffocated, wanted some time to himself, but didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying so because it was probably temporary, then he was right not to tell you. It could've been handled better, though, because he showed that he was irritated, and that hurt you, anyway."

"He could've just asked for a little alone time. I like alone time, too. I would have understood."

"And when you apologize, you'll talk about that, and then the next time one of you feels a little suffocated it'll go better."

"You really think he's not going to break up with me?"

"By this point he's probably wondering where the hell you went and worrying that you actually left Hollow Bastion instead of just the house."

"I wish I wouldn't have said the things I did."

"Let him know that. Now I'm going home. You coming?"

Riku nodded. He trailed after Leon down the steps and around the alleyways to the house. The lights were on in the living room, and the door opened before they even reached it. Cloud stepped out, pulling his jacket around his shoulders.

"Where were you?" he said.

"I took Riku for a walk," said Leon. He patted Cloud on the shoulder. "He's all yours."

Leon stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Cloud shivered and pulled the jacket tighter. Riku bit his lip and stared at the ground.

"Hey . . ." said Cloud.

"Hey."

"I . . . I just . . . I've been thinking a lot since you've been gone, and . . ."

Riku nodded.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"I get it."

Cloud frowned.

"Get what?"

"That you don't want me around anymore."

Cloud smiled, stepped forward, and wrapped Riku in a hug.

"You're an idiot. I was going to say that I was sorry."

Riku inhaled and stepped closer. The scent was overwhelming, and he buried his nose farther into Cloud's coat.

"I'm sorry, too."

"I should have just talked to you instead of letting it get to me."

"It's okay. I overreacted."

"I won't keep things from you from now on, okay?"

"I'll try to give you more space. I like being by myself a lot, too, I just . . . I just really love being with you."

"I love being with you, too. It's the holiday season, you know? All this restoration stuff. It's got me in a terrible mood being around so many people to begin with that when I'm just with you . . . I'm sorry. I've just been taking it out on you, and I promise I'll be better."

"I'm sorry I called you weak."

"I'm sorry I called your problems with the darkness bullshit."

"I'm sorry I brought up Sephiroth."

"Nothing you said wasn't true. I'm sorry I mentioned Ansem."

Riku shrugged.

"You were right about that, too."

"It just hurts more that it's true."

Riku nodded.

"I really don't think you're weak."

"I honestly don't remember half of what I said to you, just that I was really defensive and on a mission to hurt you."

"It worked."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I was out to hurt you, too."

"You succeeded."

"Doesn't make me feel better."

"Can we not fight like that again?"

"Yes, please. I don't want to go through that again. I'm so sorry, Cloud."

"I'm sorry, too."

They stood there for a few seconds in the silence, Cloud's arms around Riku, holding him close to his body. The heat, the smell was intoxicating, and then the silence broke. Cloud barked out a laugh, squeezed Riku tighter, and then his arms fell away.

"What?"

Cloud pointed.

"It's snowing."

Riku's head snapped around to see the white, crystallized flakes falling from the sky. The melted as they hit the ground. Cloud grinned.

"I hope it doesn't start to lay or Leon's going to throw a fit."

"It's so pretty."

"It does have a magical quality to it, doesn't it?"

"Yeah . . ."

"You tend to forget after being around it so long."

Riku looked to Cloud and grinned. The snowflakes fell, dusting the collar and shoulders of Cloud's coat. He glanced to Riku and smiled. His arm extended around Riku as he pulled him to his side; Riku let his head fall to Cloud's shoulder as he stared at the sky.

"You know, I think you've gotten taller," said Cloud.

"Yeah?"

Cloud nodded.

"I'm happy I get to share this with you," said Riku.

Cloud nodded again.

"Perfect ending to a miserable day, huh?"

"Yeah . . ."

They fell silent, huddled together as they watched the first snowfall of the season.

* * *

**_First I must say to everyone: Thank you for your unending patience. I know it's only been a few days, really, but it feels like forever. This chapter took two days to write because when I first sat down to do it, Riku just wasn't in the mood to argue, and it really had to happen. They've been together for. . .what? Thirty-eight chapters now without a serious fight? Over something trivial? I know I can't go two weeks without having a fight with my best friend over nothing. It was bound to happen, plus I think it's an important milestone in a relationship--the first fight. I knew it had to get nasty, too, because I think that it happens a lot where we say things we don't really mean or would say if we weren't riled up, but then the word vomit comes spilling out and even as we say it we really know we shouldn't. I think Riku has already proved he's this way through the entirety of KH1, so hey . . . why not? And I will let you know (though I think it already shows) that this will bring them closer together._**

**_And now that that lengthy load of schlop is out of the way:_**

**Koji Inari**: I know you left a review for this, and I believe I sent you a PM already, but the site isn't showing me your review so I'll just take this space to say thank you for all your kind words, and I really appreciate your support as I stumble my way through this story.

**shini**: Leon does need to get laid, and I was thinking about the Yuffie thing a bit, but I've decided against it and have an even better idea in mind, so . . . Leon will have to take care of things himself for awhile. Yeah. That's all I'm going to say about that. Yes, the last part was very fluffy. I think this was pretty fluffy, too. At the end, anyway. Leaves a nice warm tingling feeling. At least it does to me. Sweet enough to give you a toothache kind of thing. Yeah.

**Beatrisu**: Lucky thing you had that spork on hand or the review button might have gotten you. ::smile:: I'm sorry about your love for CloudxRiku. I really am. This whole ordeal started simply because I was frustrated with weeding through SoraxRiku stories, couldn't find any CloudxRiku stories, and wanted to be different. This story was actually originally going to be a SoraxRiku story in the end. Riku was going to like Sora, and then the whole KH1 thing was going to happen, Riku was going to meet Cloud (much like he did in this), they were going to date, and then break up some time . . . well . . . around here, actually. Riku was going to do KH2 by himself, and then get with Sora at the very end. I even started the bugger. Then I went to go join Thirty Kisses, claims were closed, found Kingdom100, and went, "Oh, I can do the SoraxRiku story for this." And even though there was no limit on claims, SoraxRiku was already taken twice, and I went, "Oh, I can't do that, too." I thought about the RikuxCloud sidepairing, and went, "Yeah, okay. I'll do that instead." And thus 100 Steps To Somewhere was born. And now I can't read either one with anyone else (as I used to be a CloudxLeon and a Namine/Riku shipper, too). ::sigh:: So, yes, I apologize. The fandom is sorrowfully lacking of fics. I'm so glad you like my shorts, too. I wanted to do oneshots so very badly just to tell a story that _wasn't_ part of this one. Variety is the spice of life, after all, and though I adore this story to death, it _is_ going to be 100 chapters long. That's a long time to exist in only one way for them to be together. Panjandrum is my absolute favorite so far, but Seven Days is a close second. Thanks for reading and letting me know you love this story. It really means a lot to me.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: I'm glad it's getting better as it goes on. I'd hate for it to become stale, especially when we're only about 40 percent of the way there. Scrooge McDuck? Oh, when I saw that ice cream prompt the first thing I thought of was that poor Scrooge McDuck through KH2 trying desperately to make that sea-salt ice cream and went, "That's when he's going to move into Hollow Bastion." Small little incorporations of the second game into the pre-KH2 world to set things up for the way they are when Sora gets back.

**koyuki-san**: Heh. I should have called the last chapter "Return of the Snark." Cloud got very moody in this chapter, methinks, though I look so forward to the torture he is going to endure in the next one. I like the dynamic between Cloud, Leon, and Riku. It's funny, actually, because until Leon found out about them in this story, it wasn't going to happen until much later. I had planned on Leon finding out during KH2, and Cloud wasn't going to be spending nearly as much time in Hollow Bastion, but it just kind of happened this way, which is great. I love when things happen without my consent, and then I have to go, "Oh, damn. Time to rearrange." It's how I've ended up with more chapters than intended for this part of the KH timeline. Cloud and Riku were never initially going to switch points of view, either, and look how that turned out. It's funny you say that you should say more, because I should honestly say less. I apologize for the length of this reply, for I am running high on caffeine (Cloud and I share similar views on the wonder that is coffee. Riku and I share the same views on nicotine. Speaking of nicotine . . . Excuse me while I indulge in my vices.)

**The Glass Slipper**: You are truly amazing, and yes, now Riku is the brat and not you. I'm still a brat, but hey . . . I forget, you know? I can't remember to finish my laundry . . . heh. Yeah, that's right. That needs to go in the dryer. Well . . . damn. Anyway . . . No, really, I totally adored them in that Christmas story with all the food nicknames. It was CloudxRiku on crack, and it's fantastic. Yeah, I try to keep them IC for the KH storyline. I will be playing FF7 very soon, though. Waiting for my memory card to come in the mail. The game tortures me as it sits by my Playstation completely unsaveable. I imagine I get so much praise for the Leon-Cloud-Riku dynamic because I adore writing it so much. I love Leon's character, so I love making him a good friend to them both. I now have a great idea for who to pair him up with so I can stop feeling bad about him being all alone and single. Partyboy outfit is the next chapter. I'm probably far more excited about writing it than I really should be.

**Soul Writer of Dark Truth**: Yes, long live CloudxRiku. It's funny how this story is a savior from the overused RikuxSora as this was supposed to be a RikuxSora story in the first place, and that it totally became a CloudxRiku just because when I went to join the challenge, I didn't want to claim something that was already so popular. So I guess it was my intention to not be overused and overdone. That and I wanted to write Riku's story because it is so tragically beautiful. Or at least it is in my own demented mind.

**Quellesirel Peredhil**: They are a fun couple, aren't they? Gives us all a break from, "Riku is a jackass and Sora is super sweet. What happens when Riku gets a crush on the cute little brunette boy and does lots of dicky things to win him over?" The plot thickens, indeed. I already know for sure how that Riku/Sora interaction is going to go when Sora finds out about Cloud. Picture this: **80**. Heh. Yeah.

**Chalice of Chelsea**: I've been hearing Riku call Cloud 'Strife' for ages now. It was a great pleasure to finally share it with everyone. As for the sharks? I don't know where they came from. I often don't with these things. It's kind of like the townsfolk throwing gravel at Leon thing. Or Tifa and Vincent. Or the garland in the last chapter. Or even the snow in this chapter. Yeah. I don't know where these things come from. I just hope you all enjoy them as much as I do when they pop up on the computer screen and I go, "Oh, yes. That is so good."

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: OMFG! I thought I hadn't replied to you in a while . . . I'll forgive your sins because I'm the CloudxRiku goddess (arrogant, much?). You didn't have to wait long for the snow, huh? I think it was really freaking 'aw' in maybe even a sickening sort of way, but hey . . . it was perfect. I don't know if this qualifies as super-soon, but I hope you enjoyed by the time you read this. Hope you had a good time on vacation.

**Mangled Euphoria (aka My Amusing MySpace Buddy)**: Yeah. Your bulletins are never dull. I see one and I go, "She wants someone to talk to her, and probably bored as hell." It's all good. I enjoy getting cursed at. I (obviously) have very foul language, and very poor taste, but I know these things so I think that makes it a little better. Swords, dark, and people getting kicked in the teeth? That should be coming up . . . oh, dear. I don't have my prompt table handy, but I know it's very soon (sooner than I'd really like considering I have to fill the better part of a year while Sora's sleeping in the pod). And I know it's going to last an extraordinarily long time (like ten or so chapters) to bridge into KH2. Which is also going to be insane considering the Xehanort/Ansem thingymajig. DiZ. Namine. Roxas. Twilight Town. Yeah. It's all coming.

**_So now that I've written you all two to three times as much as you left for me (hyper, much?) I'm going to try and end this thing before it ends up being half the post._**

**_Next Chapter: I am super-excited about the next chapter of this story wherein Riku will get his new party-boy outfit. I've had this scene in my head before I signed up for the challenge. I had this scene in my head as of June 2006, really, which as you can see, I started writing this story at the end of November, so it's been a very long time coming. A little teaser? Yes? _**

**_Riku is getting taller. He needs new clothes. And damnit, Cloud, what's it like at a gay club, and when the hell will you take me to one? _**

**_But, Riku. I don't do clubs. I don't dance. And I sure as hell don't get drunk, let loose, and have a good time._**

**_Heh. Heh heh heh. ::laughs manically::_**


	40. Blinded

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 040. Music

**Word Count**: 7,556

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: The holiday season wasn't as merry and bright as Cloud was accustomed to. In fact, he kept feeling this unexplainable anger. One might call it jealousy, but Cloud's just really pissed off at Leon.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

**_Step Forty: Blinded_**

The weeks leading up to Christmas passed in a frenzied blur. With the orphanage finished, Tifa and Yuffie moved the orphans in while Aerith found a matron to overlook the children and planned a holiday celebration. Their time was so consumed by the project that it left no room for anything else. Cid began plans for clearing out the bailey and postern up to the castle as he and Leon labored over the town's defense mechanism. At first Mickey and Merlin assisted Riku and Cloud with much of the grunt work until Cloud learned Riku was skilled with computers and he started work on the defense system, too.

When Riku was still working with Cloud, Mickey, and Merlin, they went to acquire a giant evergreen for the market. Merlin used his magic to assist with the decorating high atop the tree (star included). Mickey took care of the decorations close to the ground. Cloud and Riku handled the rest. After the tree, the path leading the castle needed cleared of gravel and debris for the defense system. While Cloud and Mickey shoveled (though it was mostly Cloud because Mickey's shovel was so much smaller), Merlin moved larger boulders from the pathway. This was around the time Leon started complaining about the computer system, Riku took a look at it, and Cid recruited Riku for further assistance.

The muscles in Cloud's neck tensed. After long days of shoveling and heaving smaller boulders, he sat in the living room as he listened to Riku and Leon talk about their day in Merlin's house. He'd been feeling this way a lot over the past few weeks—tired and restless. He retired to bed early and remained quiet most of the time he spent with Leon and Riku. He doubted they cared; they had more than enough to discuss without Cloud interrupting. He had nothing to add to their conversations, anyway—much of what they talked about made little sense to him.

An empty, nagging sensation swirled in his stomach and seized his heart when he looked at them sitting in the kitchen, smoking and talking, completely engrossed. An unexplainable desire to bring the Buster sword down on Leon's head coursed through his veins when Riku and Leon shared jokes you "had to be there" to understand. When Riku couldn't find a lighter and Leon lit Riku's cigarette for him, Cloud briefly entertained the idea of snapping Leon's fingers off. Then there was the way Leon kept looking at Riku that gave Cloud the urge to plant his shovel in Leon's eyes.

"I'm going to bed," said Cloud.

"Goodnight," said Riku.

----------0----------

Vincent arrived in Hollow Bastion two weeks before Christmas with Marlene and Denzel in tow. Cloud introduced Riku to them right away, and they went to stay with Tifa, Yuffie, and Aerith. The kids focused a lot of energy on Cloud at first, but warmed up to Riku fast. Vincent spent the first few nights filling Cloud and Tifa in on everything that had been going on in Midgar since they were last there. It was a nice distraction as he listened to the activities of AVALANCHE, Shinra, and what his friends were up to, but he still found his eyes drifting to the kitchen. Cloud had to bite his lip as Riku said something and Leon laughed.

Eight days before Christmas Riku retired to the shower before bed. Leon walked into the living room and sat across Cloud.

"All done with your shopping?" said Leon.

"Shopping?" said Cloud.

"Yeah. Christmas present shopping?"

Cloud stared. Leon laughed. The urge to rip his throat out flitted through Cloud's mind.

"Don't tell me you forgot," said Leon.

"I guess I did in all the fuss. Been busy."

"Yeah, I know. So have I. Still found time."

Cloud grunted.

"Who did you shop for?"

"The usual. Cid, Aerith, Yuffie, Tifa, you, Vincent, the kids, Riku . . ."

"You got Riku something?"

Leon frowned.

"Well, yeah. He's your boyfriend, he's my friend, and I live with him. Be kind of rude if I didn't. What's wrong with you? You seem cranky."

"I'm tired. Not really up to banter. So what did you get him?"

"Who?"

"Riku."

Leon shrugged.

"Clothes. Not much. Some tops, some jeans. Don't worry. I didn't get him any leather pants."

"Well that's a relief. Kind of an uninventive gift."

"I don't buy creative gifts; I buy practical ones. The kid needs clothes."

"He has clothes."

"They don't fit him." Cloud stared. "If you don't know what to buy him, you should get him shoes or something. His feet will thank you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Have you not noticed all of Riku's stuff is too small for him? He's been swiping from you and me. Cid keeps ragging on him about a haircut, too, but Cid's been on me about that, too. I keep telling Riku if he sees Cid coming at him with a pair of scissors to run."

Cloud resisted the urge to grit his teeth.

"He hasn't grown that much since he's been here."

"Do you even look at your boyfriend?"

Cloud grumbled. When Riku emerged from the shower fifteen minutes later, Cloud stared. Riku _had_ grown—grown more than he'd noticed, anyway. Perhaps he hadn't noticed because they spent so much time around each other, but now that he was really looking it seemed Riku was in the middle of a growth spurt. He was dressed in black sweatpants and one of Leon's white t-shirts, and as he stared, he was torn between wanting to rip the shirt off Riku's body and noticing the changes. The pants were more secure on his slim hips, and his feet no longer stepped on the hem as he walked. His shoulders had broadened, filling out a shirt that would have hung from his frame mere months ago. His silver bangs fell to his eyebrows, and the length of his hair was starting to move farther down his neck.

Leon turned toward Riku and smiled.

"Feel better?" said Leon.

"Yes," said Riku as he toweled his hair. "Long day."

"Tell me about it. Hungry?"

Leon moved to stand.

"Definitely."

Riku passed Leon to take a seat in the chair by Cloud as Leon went to work in the kitchen on snacks.

"Cloud?" said Leon.

Cloud grunted. He reached behind and scratched the back of his neck.

----------0----------

When Riku and Leon headed to Merlin's on Sunday to do some overtime work on the defense system, Cloud glared at the door as it shut behind them. He gathered his munny, pulled on his coat, and left the house. Two thoughts occupied his mind: a list of people he needed to buy for, and he was _not_ buying Riku shoes.

Riku needed something special. Something that showed his affection because Cloud had been very bad about showing it lately. It seemed like every day was one tension after another. Cloud glared as Leon and Riku spent more time together. Riku kept his distance, and after their fight on the night of the first snowfall, Cloud couldn't tell him not to. Not after the scene he made about Riku encroaching on his space. The least he could do was show Riku he still cared, and shoes were not going to do that.

"Wait," said Riku. He raced out of Merlin's and across the cobbled road to Cloud. "Did you get Leon a present yet?"

Cloud forced himself not to spit out the words.

"Not yet. Why?"

"Well, I already did all my shopping, but I didn't get Leon anything yet because . . . well, you know how his jacket is falling apart, right?"

"Yeah . . ."

"Well when Leon and I were out looking for you, he showed me this leather jacket he really liked. Said he used to have one just like it, and I wanted to get it for him, but it's kind of pricey."

"And . . ."

"And I was wondering if I gave you my munny if we could split the cost."

"You want us to get Leon a pricey leather jacket."

"Well . . . yeah. I mean . . . he _is _our roommate. And we _are_ a couple. And it must be a pain sometimes dealing with our relationship drama, especially when I was in the realm of darkness and Castle Oblivion, so . . . I don't know. I thought it could be a joint gift from us as kind of a thank you because he's been really great about it all."

Cloud smiled.

"What? Like a joint gift because we're a couple to a number one supporter or something?"

Riku laughed.

"Well you don't hear me asking Tifa or anything."

Cloud's grin widened.

"We are the couple, aren't we?"

Riku cocked his head and grinned.

"Yeah . . . why? You starting to forget who you're dating?"

"No. It's just . . . well . . . you've been spending a lot of time together."

"We're _working_ together. And you've been really tired. I don't want to bother you. I know you like your alone time."

Riku smiled, but Cloud felt the sick feeling in his stomach grow. Leon had warned about pushing Riku away, and now that Cloud had the space he thought he desired, he kind of wished Riku was bothering him again. At least then that nasty feeling that crept along his skin didn't exist then. He shuffled his feet.

"Yeah, sure. Where am I supposed to go for this jacket?"

----------0----------

Cloud woke on Christmas morning to Marlene and Denzel bouncing on the bed. Their faces came into view, bright and smiling. The word 'presents' continuously escaped their mouths. Soft laughter sounded from the doorway, and then Tifa was standing there with her arms crossed over his chest.

"Why don't you give Cloud some space?" she said.

Giggles resounded. The weight shifted from the bed and the echo of pounding feet rang in his ears.

"Is Cloud opening presents with us?" said Marlene.

"Once the sleepy head wakes up," said Tifa. "Everyone is already out there waiting on you."

Cloud cracked open his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming."

When Tifa said everyone was already in the living room, she hadn't been kidding. Riku and Leon were in the kitchen as usual, making breakfast, and Cloud tried to send a glare in their direction, but his puffy eyes hardly moved. The muscles in his face refused to change expression. He resigned to pad across the living room and took a seat on the floor. Tifa, Vincent, Cid, Yuffie, Merlin, King Mickey, and Aerith occupied the sofas and chairs. Denzel and Marlene bounced on the floor by Tifa's feet, and when Cloud was seated, Marlene bounced in Cloud's lap.

"Can we open our presents now?" said Denzel.

"Why don't we all take turns," said Vincent.

"I get to go first!" said Yuffie.

"No, me!" said Denzel.

"Why don't we start with the youngest and work our way around," said Tifa.

"That would be Marlene, then," said Cloud. He patted her head. "Why don't you go find your pile?"

As Marlene ran to the tree Cloud caught Riku's eye from the kitchen. Riku smiled and mouthed an "I love you." His agitation faded.

With Marlene's presents opened, Denzel went next. As he approached the last of his gifts, Leon and Riku joined the party in the living room, passing around juice as they joined Cloud and Marlene on the floor.

"Mind if I share?" said Riku to Marlene. She shook her head and Riku rested his head against Cloud's shoulder. Cloud couldn't explain why he was overcome with the desire to blow a raspberry in Leon's direction.

"Don't get too comfortable," said Leon. "We're going youngest to oldest. That makes you next, kiddo."

Riku sat up. Cloud stared for a second.

"I keep forgetting how young you are," said Yuffie. "I was really excited. Thought I'd be next."

"I like that you forget," said Riku as he stood and crossed to the tree.

Leon hadn't been the only one who noticed. Most of the brightly wrapped boxes contained clothing. Cid had gotten Riku shoes and an I.O.U. for a haircut. When he reached for a small box, Cloud held his breath as he watched Riku untie the ribbon and pull the paper away. His chest felt tight and restricted as Riku removed the lid and took out a small, platinum ring. He smiled at Cloud.

"From you?"

"Look on the inside of the band," said Cloud.

"You bought him jewelry," said Tifa.

"With an inscription," said Yuffie.

"It's sweet," said Aerith.

"So what's the inscription?" said Leon.

"There is no me without you," said Cloud.

Aerith, Yuffie, and Tifa burst into a chorus of "Awe."

"You make me sick," said Leon.

The urge to punch Leon in the face didn't manifest as Riku leaned over to kiss Cloud on the cheek.

"I love you," said Riku.

"I love you, too. You still have presents to open, you know."

Riku nodded and turned back to the pile. There was one gift left—a long box wrapped in silvery paper and wrapped with a navy blue bow. He pulled at the bow and picked at the tape. As he opened the box, Cloud craned his head to get a better look. Riku's jaw dropped.

"That's from me," said Mickey.

Riku pushed the paper and box away. In his hands he held a long weapon—red and blue with a wing on the end. He turned it over and glanced up at the king.

"Is it . . ."

"A Keyblade," said Mickey.

"So I really am a Keyblade master?"

"You betcha."

"You can wield the Keyblade, can't you?" said Cloud. He smiled. "What did you expect?"

"Not this . . ."

"It's called 'The Way to the Dawn,'" said Mickey.

"One of the major Keyblades," said Leon. Mickey nodded.

"I heard about it before, of course, but when we journeyed through Castle Oblivion and I saw the way light and darkness work together in you . . ."

Cloud smiled and placed an arm around Riku's shoulder.

"The road to dawn," said Riku.

Mickey nodded.

"So after we got you back here to Hollow Bastion I went out to look for it. I've been waiting for the right time to give it to you."

"I didn't even know you left Hollow Bastion. This is . . . this is great . . ."

"Now you have a weapon to fight with when the time comes to go after that Organization XIII," said Cloud.

Riku nodded.

"Yeah. Once . . . someone . . . someone I'm going to help . . . wakes up . . ."

Riku frowned. Cloud stared.

"There's someone you're going to help?" said Cloud.

"Yeah. My friend . . . I think . . . the one I was fighting with."

"Yeah . . . I kind of remember," said Leon.

"Are you done?" said Yuffie. "My turn!"

Cloud continued to watch Riku stare at his Keyblade as Yuffie ripped her wrapping paper to shreds. Gentle touches brushed against the metal as his fingers curled around the hilt. Yuffie shrieked over Riku as he turned to Cloud.

"I don't feel like I deserve this," he said.

"Of course you do."

"Who's next?" said Yuffie.

Cloud looked up and grinned.

"Leon," said Tifa. "Then me."

"Leon?" said Riku. He tore his eyes from the Keyblade. "I thought you were younger, Tifa."

"Nah," said Yuffie. "Before you, me and Leon were the babies."

"Shut up," said Leon as he moved to retrieve his gifts.

Riku turned to Cloud.

"I thought you and Leon were the same age."

Cloud shook his head.

"Nope. I'm three years older than Leon."

Riku looked to Leon.

"You're only twenty?"

"Don't point it out," said Leon.

"A fairly fresh twenty, too," said Yuffie.

"Yeah, well, you're a fresher nineteen."

"Riku's an even fresher sixteen."

"Don't point that out, either," said Cloud.

"I can't believe you're only twenty," said Riku. He turned to Tifa. "How old are you, then?"

"Twenty-two," said Tifa.

Leon went through his presents quickly, grumbling under his breath. When he came to the leather jacket, he picked it from the box and ran his palm over the fur collar. He looked to Riku and smiled.

"From you?" said Leon.

Riku grinned.

"Yeah. Well . . . me and Cloud."

"My turn," said Tifa. She dashed to her gifts.

Leon continued to smile at them.

"You remembered?" said Leon.

"Well, sure," said Riku.

Cloud's stomach sank. He wanted to take the bow from the box and wrap it around Leon's neck. Leon went to finish breakfast as Tifa finished unwrapping her presents. Cloud's turn came next. He received a lot of clothing between Aerith, Tifa, Yuffie, Vincent, and Leon. Cid gave him a kit for tuning up his Gummi ship. When he got to Riku's present, his stomach tied in knots. His heart sank at the sleeveless navy turtleneck inside. Riku saw his face and laughed.

"That's not it," said Riku. "I just thought you'd look great in it. You have amazing arms, you know."

Cloud grinned. The pressure in his heart eased.

"You could tell?"

"Well . . . yeah. I spend enough time with you, too."

"Watch out for that," said Yuffie. "Cloud hates it when you can read his emotions. He's a very private, pissy person."

Riku laughed. Cloud tried to glare but the warm sound of Riku's laughter stilled the expression. He, too, laughed. Riku reached across him to grab a smaller box toward the back.

"This is the rest of it."

Cloud took the box, undid the wrapping, and removed a silver chain. Hanging from the metal was an ornate cross.

"Leon said you don't wear a lot of jewelry, but that you'd probably like this."

"I thought it might be manly enough for your tastes," said Leon with a smirk. Cloud had never noticed how obnoxious Leon's smirk was, but he turned back to Riku.

"And you can wear it under the turtleneck so you can keep him close to your heart at all times, but no one will ever be able to tell you really care," said Tifa.

"Pretty," said Marlene.

Cloud smirked at Tifa and patted Marlene on the head. He leaned across to peck Riku on the cheek.

"I do like it. Thank you."

"I'm relieved. I know you're the kind of guy who only likes stuff you can use so picking a present for you is kind of difficult."

"Or easy," said Tifa. "Clothes."

Riku laughed.

"Hey, I did that, too. But as a boyfriend I am supposed to give him something special."

"Tell me about it," said Cloud. "Leon told me to buy you shoes."

"I actually did need shoes. It's a good thing Cid got them for me. But the ring is . . ."

"Special?"

"Yeah."

"All right, break it up," said Leon as Aerith moved to her gifts. "Breakfast."

----------0----------

Cloud was irked. He had to control the urge more than one time during the day not to smack Leon across the face for every time he made a joke about Cloud and Riku being too close. He wanted to beat him over the head with something heavy for comments about them being sickening. That chair would look great slammed into Leon's stomach when he teased Cloud for every sweet comment.

Leon and Riku worked on dinner in the kitchen as Tifa, Yuffie, and Aerith led Marlene and Denzel in Christmas carols. Cid and Vincent sat on the other end of the sofa drinking whiskey. Mickey and Merlin sat across from them speaking in hushed tones. Cloud sat by Vincent as his eyes remained on Riku and Leon in the kitchen.

"Hit me," said Cloud.

Cloud listened to Vincent tell Cid about life back on Midgar as he nursed his drink. Over an hour later, Leon and Riku started to set dishes out on the table. The kids ran to fill their plates with the girls close behind. Riku washed his hands at the sink, made up two plates, and walked over to Cloud.

"Must be nice getting personally served," said Vincent.

"Kid takes good care of Cloud," said Cid.

"That's good."

"Yeah. He needs it."

"Cloud's had enough of you picking on him," said Cloud. "Yuffie is still here, you know."

"Hey!" said Yuffie.

"There he goes speaking in third-person again," said Leon. "Cloud has issues."

Riku smiled and placed a kiss to Cloud's cheek.

"I kind of like the helpless thing," said Riku.

"I'm not helpless. I'm a protector. I take care of you; you nurture. We discussed this before."

"I'm not complaining. I love you."

Cloud smiled. He cupped Riku's cheek and pressed their foreheads together.

"And there they go again," said Leon.

Cloud flicked his eyes to glare at Leon and returned his gaze to Riku.

"I love you, too. Sorry for being so moody lately."

"It's okay."

"Moody?" said Cid. "You ain't moody. I've seen you worse than this."

"I agree," said Vincent. "I thought I'd come here to find Cloud in a horrible mood. I haven't seen you this happy in ages. Not since Zack, anyway."

Riku's smile faded a little.

"Who's Zack?"

Leon gagged on his food. A silence spread across the room. Cloud cleared his throat.

"You didn't tell him?" said Leon.

"I didn't think it was important," said Cloud.

"You didn't think . . ."

"It usually isn't important."

"But we all knew Zack. His name was bound to come up eventually."

"It wasn't a big deal. I don't understand why I should have mentioned him."

"Because he kind of was a big deal?"

"I'm starting to get the feeling Zack is an ex-boyfriend no one wants to tell me about," said Riku.

Cloud shook his head.

"No. I mean, yeah, Zack was my boyfriend once, but I didn't not tell you about him on purpose. I just didn't think it was an important thing to mention my ex-boyfriend to my new boyfriend."

"So he _was _your boyfriend?"

"Yeah. He was a friend, too. First. He lived at the orphanage with us, and then when the Turks came, he went with to Midgar."

"The Turks?"

"Dear God, do you tell him _any_thing?" said Leon.

"Shut up. He knows a bit about Soldier and Midgar, just not all of it," said Cloud. He turned to Riku. "It's a long story. I promise to tell you sometime when we're alone."

Riku stared and then nodded.

"So . . . what happened to him?"

"Zack?" said Cloud. Riku nodded.

"Yeah. Like . . . I mean . . ."

"Why isn't he here?"

"Yeah. I mean . . . I guess cause if he isn't a big deal, and you were all friends first . . ."

No one answered. Riku searched the room. Tifa averted her eyes. Aerith bit her lip and lowered her head. Cid and Yuffie looked away. Even Marlene dropped her head. Leon cleared his throat.

"Zack died," said Leon. "When he was on Midgar."

Riku stared.

"Oh. Heartless?"

"No."

"Oh . . ." Riku peered at Cloud. He hesitated. Cloud met his eyes. "Sephiroth?"

"Not exactly," said Cloud. "Like I said . . . it's a long story."

"Oh . . . okay."

"I'll tell you later."

Riku nodded.

"I can't believe you didn't tell him about Zack," said Leon.

Cloud whipped his head from Riku.

"Why don't you just stay out of my relationship for a change? I told him about Soldier, and Sephiroth, and the Heartless, and Midgar. I just didn't get through the entire story, and it's kind of an involved one so that shouldn't be a big surprise. I didn't keep anything from him on purpose."

Leon held up his hands.

"All right. Sorry. Didn't mean to get into your relationship."

Riku frowned.

"You okay, Cloud?" said Riku.

"Yeah. I'm just . . . I've been really tired lately. I'm just not in the mood for jokes, I guess."

"Maybe you're coming down with something."

Riku pressed the back of his hand to Cloud's forehead. Leon snorted.

"Something you want to say?" said Cloud.

"No," said Leon. "Wouldn't want to stick my nose in your relationship again."

"So, Cloud, did you have any plans for New Year's?" said Riku.

"Are you trying to distract me?" said Cloud.

"Yes and no. I am, but I really want to know."

"I hadn't really thought about it, so no. Why?"

"Well . . . when Leon and I went shopping for Christmas presents, I heard about this new club behind the market. It's sixteen and over so I can go—I just can't drink. And I heard there's a lot of straight and gay couples that go, so I thought . . . I don't know."

"You want to go?"

"Yeah. I mean . . . I asked Leon if he thought you'd want to go, and he told me not to get my hopes up . . ."

"I don't dance."

"But I really want to go, so I thought I'd ask you, anyway, but if you don't want to go . . ."

"I don't dance."

"You don't have to dance. They're having a drink special for New Year's. You could just drink and watch me dance."

"And why would I do that?"

"Cause I'd look really sexy dancing in that hot new top Leon got me."

"Which one?"

"The zip one."

"Yellow zip one?"

"Yep."

Cloud considered this.

"I mean it's totally okay if you don't want to go. I already asked Leon if he would go with me some other time so I don't have to go by myself if you don't want to."

Cloud looked to Leon.

"You're going?"

Leon shrugged.

"I like clubs. I don't mind dancing. I like discounted alcohol. And someone has to keep an eye on the kid."

"I take care of Riku."

"I know, but if you don't want to go . . . you know, unless that's me getting into you relationship again."

"Would you shut up about that?" Cloud turned to Riku. "Count me in."

"We're going to have to take you shopping," said Leon.

"Why?" said Cloud.

"Cause you can't go dressed the way you dress."

"Why not? Is there something wrong with the way I dress?"

"It's a dance club," said Leon. "I have leather. Riku has party clothes. You dress like a mercenary."

Cloud stared.

"I was a mercenary."

Riku perked up.

"When were you a mercenary?"

Leon stared.

"You tell him absolutely nothing."

"It's part of the long story," said Cloud. He glared at Leon.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Was I intruding again?"

"Forget I said anything," said Riku.

----------0----------

The music thumped in Cloud's eardrums as he, Riku, and Leon entered the smoky room. The dance floor was already packed with people moving in rhythm to the bass. The seats at the bar were filled as were many of the booths and tables. Lights danced across the shadowed walls. Cloud glanced over a rail and down the stairs to the people below. He watched as bodies melted together, and then Leon tugged his sleeve and mouthed something.

"What?" said Cloud. "I can't hear you."

Leon moved closer.

"I _said_ that there's a table over there."

He made an exaggerated gesture in the direction Riku was already walking with a short, thin girl with her messy hair pulled into a ponytail. Cloud nodded. He followed Leon's lead and grabbed a chair. Riku didn't stick around long. Leon and Cloud ordered drinks while Riku settled for a soda, and then he leaned close to Cloud's ear.

"I'm going to dance. You want to come?"

Cloud shook his head.

"Do you mind if I dance?"

Cloud shook his head again. Riku nodded, placed a kiss to Cloud's cheek, and then leaned in close to Leon. Cloud wished the waitress would hurry up with that drink. He wanted to be drunk as the rage flowed through him again watching Riku's lips come close to Leon's ear. Leon laughed, waved a hand, and turned his head close to Riku's in response. Riku smiled, mouthed something, and headed toward the stairs.

"What was that about?" said Cloud.

Leon shrugged.

"He asked me if I wanted to dance with him."

"You're straight."

"What's your point? It's just dancing."

"Are you going to?"

"I told him maybe later. Why? Is that a problem?"

Cloud huffed.

"No."

"Good. Because it's just dancing. You don't dance and he doesn't want to spend the entire night pressed up against sweaty strangers."

Cloud's eyes widened. Sweaty strangers. He whipped his head to the stairs to find Riku and after scanning the area his eyes caught sight of the silver hair. Riku slipped through couples, and Cloud struggled to keep his eyes on the slim figure. The waitress set his drink on the table and Cloud took a large swig. The panic slipped away a little as Riku paired off with a girl. Cloud turned toward Leon.

"Can I get a cigarette?"

"What? Having a hard time watching your boy with other people?"

"Cigarette."

Leon shrugged and passed Cloud a cigarette before lighting one for himself.

As the night dragged on, Cloud smoked cigarette after cigarette. He switched from mixed drinks to shots, but it was like the alcohol wasn't even working. He was still aware, still acute. Riku darted to and from the table, sipping on his soda and dropping numbers in the trashcan. Cloud ignored attempts from other patrons to get him on the dance floor as he watch stranger after stranger pressed against Riku.

"Looks like Riku made a friend," said Leon after the sixth song Riku spent dancing with the same guy. If Cloud had his Buster sword, he'd take it to the guy's dick.

"He just better watch his hands," said Cloud.

He couldn't blame them entirely. Riku was a vision, lost in his own world as he swayed to the beat. His growth spurt was even more apparent, looking so much older than he had when they first met, and Cloud could swear he could see the sliver of Riku's flat, tanned stomach showing from where he sat on the second level. He kept his head thrown back, silver bangs fanning over his forehead, silver tresses swaying. His hips moved with a fluidity that didn't even come with sex, and he shifted in his seat as the man's hands pulled those hips closer.

"Someone's jealous," said Leon.

"Shut up."

"Why don't you go dance with him instead?"

"I don't dance like that."

"I don't think anyone is going to be looking at you."

Cloud glared.

"Fine. Will you feel better if I dance with him instead?"

"Anything to get that guy off him."

He had meant it at the time. He was relieved as Leon slipped off his jacket and moved from the table. Cloud trailed Leon with his eyes as he moved down the stairs and across the dance floor, but when Leon found Riku, came up behind him, and placed his hands on Riku's hips instead, the rage seared through his blood. It was as if he wore blinders; nothing existed but the slow turn of Riku's body and the smile on his face as he discovered who it was that pulled him away from his dance partner. If Cloud thought the nameless guy and his boyfriend had been too close it was nothing compared to the way Leon yanked Riku to him.

The sensible part of Cloud's brain that remained was aware that he'd seen Leon dance before. He'd seen Leon with men and women doing nothing but dancing and receiving phone numbers that he couldn't remember who they belonged to nor caring. Sometimes Leon just liked to dance, and when he did it was close and even Tifa once called it vulgar. The sensible part of Cloud's mind knew that the way Leon pressed against Riku meant nothing—that it was just dancing. He knew Leon's hands placed so very, very low on Riku's back was nothing but where Leon placed his hands. He knew the way Leon moved his hips against Riku's was nothing more than what Leon did when he danced with people—people who were often inconsequential and meant nothing.

The rest of Cloud's brain wanted to chop Leon into tiny little pieces and feed him to Sephiroth.

"Hey," said a voice. "You look kind of lonely."

Cloud pulled his eyes away to find the nameless guy Riku previously entertained face to face with him.

"I'm not lonely," said Cloud.

"Sorry. Didn't mean anything by it. Mind if I sit here?"

He motioned to the seat. Cloud frowned and shrugged.

"I'm Evan."

"Cloud."

"You here by yourself?"

"No. I got dragged here."

"You don't look like you're having a good time."

"What's your preoccupation with how good of a time I'm having?"

"I'm just confused. Here you are, a great-looking guy, and yet you're sitting here by yourself."

Cloud stared.

"Can I buy you a drink?" said Evan.

Cloud continued to stare.

"What makes you think I'm into guys?"

"I saw you watching that guy in the leather pants."

"That guy in the leather pants is my best friend."

"That supports my theory even more."

"He's straight."

"Sure he is. That's why he's dancing the way he is with a guy."

Cloud glanced back to the dance floor. He found Riku fast, his back against Leon's chest, hand wrapped around the back of Leon's neck, and his ass . . .

Oh, hell no.

"Can I get that drink?" said Cloud.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" said the waitress when Evan signaled her over.

"I don't think he's even close to enough," said Evan.

Cloud downed his drink as he watched Leon's hands run over Riku's chest and press his hips against . . .

God, he couldn't even _think _it.

Evan watched Cloud watch the dance floor.

"Would you like to dance?" said Evan.

Cloud glared.

"Yeah. Sure."

Cloud finished the drink and followed Evan to the lower level. He marched past him and over to where he'd seen Riku and Leon. The sensible part of Cloud's brain told him this was a bad idea. It whispered that he really shouldn't do what he was about to do because Riku loved him and he was acting ridiculous. The music, however, really was deafening, and the rest of Cloud's brain was louder as he walked right past Riku and Leon to take a spot within view and jerked Evan to him.

"I didn't know you were so forceful," said Evan.

Cloud's eyes were on Riku and Leon as he swayed to the beat against this man he didn't know, anticipating. He felt the anger build in him the longer Riku's eyes stayed closed, the longer he stayed pressed against Leon. It felt like an eternity as he grew closer and closer to this stranger, and then Riku's eyes met his. Even in the low lighting, Cloud swore he saw them darken. Riku stopped moving, and Leon followed Riku's gaze. His eyes widened, and he patted Riku on the shoulder before slipping away, moving fast toward the upper level. Riku stayed rooted for a few moments and Cloud stopped dancing.

"Something wrong?" said Evan.

Riku's face darkened farther, looking more livid by the second before it seemed that sensibility failed to get the better of him, too. He stalked across people, shoving them out of his way. The grip on Cloud's wrist was harsher than he expected as Riku leaned close and hissed.

"I thought you don't dance."

"I changed my mind."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Evan's eyes darted between them.

"Did I miss something?"

"Shut up," Riku and Cloud chorused.

"What are you doing with him?" said Riku.

"Same thing you were."

"So you can dance with him but not with me?"

"Are you two dating or something?" said Evan.

Cloud didn't get a chance to answer. Riku turned, yanking Cloud away from Evan. Pain shot through his wrist as Riku stomped up the stairs to the upper level. His shoulder felt strained as Riku pulled. Leon shot them a sympathetic look as they passed the table and through the door outside.

The music dulled once outside and the side door slammed shut behind them. Cloud felt the cool, winter air hit his face, chilling his skin after being in the hot, sweaty club for so long. The sensation was soon forgotten as Riku dropped his wrist and turned.

"What the hell, Cloud?"

"What?"

"I thought you don't dance."

"I don't."

"So why were you dancing with that guy?"

"I wanted to."

"So what? You didn't want to with me? Because the last time I checked, _I _was your boyfriend, not him."

"He asked."

"I asked, too. What's your deal? You've been a total asshole lately. You didn't even want to come here."

"Yeah, I didn't want to come."

"Then why did you?"

"Because if I didn't, you were going to come with Leon."

"So what? He's my friend."

"He's my friend, too."

"Yeah, and you're my boyfriend."

"No shit. I don't get what you're going on about. I thought you were glad Leon and I get along. You were so convinced we'd like each other, and now that we do you're pissed off?"

"I don't like the way he looks at you."

Riku stared. The anger ebbed from his face.

"You're jealous."

"No, I'm not. I'm pissed off. He's been all over you for weeks now. He didn't talk to me after we had that fight; he took _you_ for a fucking walk. He's been cracking jokes all over the place about how we're disgusting. I mean, yeah, he's right. Maybe we don't know each other as well as I thought we did, but that's just back story, and it pisses me off because he makes it sound like we mean less or something. You've been spending all this time together—you went _shopping_ together."

"We're working together, and we went shopping together because I wanted his advice on what to buy you."

"Yeah, well . . ."

"You're jealous. You feel left out because you aren't working on the defense mechanism with us."

"I'm not jealous. I'm pissed off. You spend more time with him than you do with me. You have all these little jokes that I don't get because I'm not there. He makes you snacks and you wear his clothes. You've been so distant."

"I was giving you your alone time. I don't get it. What do you want from me? First you say that I'm suffocating you, and now I'm too distant?"

"I know, okay? I know I'm contracting myself, but I fucking miss you, okay?"

"Then why didn't you dance with me? Why didn't you just tell me you didn't want to come here tonight?"

"Because if I didn't come tonight you were going to come some other night with Leon! And I didn't want you spending a night with him without me."

Riku howled with laughter.

"You are _so_ jealous."

"I'm not jealous. He's shit."

"Leon?"

"Yes, Leon. He's a shitty friend. You're my boyfriend, and he _knows_ that. I hate this . . . this . . . this _thing_ you have going on."

"What? Friendship? You want us to hate each other?"

"No, but I don't like it, okay? I don't like the way he looks at you. I don't like the way he keeps touching you. You wear his clothes for crissakes!"

"That's because mine didn't fit and I feel bad always stealing from you! _You're_ my boyfriend, not Leon."

"I know that, damnit, so act like it."

"I do act like it. I was giving you space. Leon is my friend. There's nothing more to it."

"I don't want the space; I want you back."

"What? In your face and bothering you?"

"Yes. It's better than this . . . this distance. I can't stand it. I hate this. I hate that Leon noticed your clothes didn't fit you when I didn't. I hate that he noticed how much longer your hair has gotten. I hate that you told him when it was your birthday instead of me. I hate that he was going to bring you here, and comforts you, and buys you things you need. I hate that he makes you food. He shouldn't be taking care of you; I take care of you."

"You've been tired, and you can't cook."

"That's not the point."

"If you want me to spend more time with you, why didn't you say so? Why didn't you dance with me? Why did you dance with that guy instead of me?"

"I . . . I don't know. I saw you dancing with that guy, and Leon offered to take you away from him, and then I saw you two together and his hands on you . . . and your hands on him . . . and him pressed against you, and I wanted to make _you_ feel as jealous as _I_ did."

Riku stared. Cloud blinked.

"I told you that you were jealous."

Cloud heaved a breath.

"Is that what this feeling is?"

Riku nodded.

"Yeah. Think so."

"Is that why I keep thinking murderous thoughts about Leon?"

"You keep thinking murderous thoughts about Leon?"

". . . Yes?"

Riku sighed. He walked forward, snaked his arms around Cloud's waist, and pressed his face into Cloud's chest.

"You're a moron," said Riku. "Leon doesn't want me the way you think he does, and I don't like him that way. He calls me 'kid' for fuck's sake. I love _you_. I'm with _you_. I wanted to dance with you, but if you didn't want to, I didn't want to force you. Leon planned on dancing so I asked him to dance with me so I didn't have to be with strangers all night. I just wish you wouldn't have . . . you know, with that guy . . ."

"I'm sorry. I was just . . ."

"Blinded by a jealous rage?"

"Yeah. I guess. I would have danced with you, it's just . . ."

"You don't dance."

"I'm bad at it."

Riku smirked. He pulled back and pressed a kiss to Cloud's lips.

"Not from where I was standing. You would have looked gorgeous if I wasn't so angry at you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Then maybe we should go back in and I should dance with you."

"I'd like that." Riku hesitated, and then grinned again. "You really miss me bugging you all the time?"

"Maybe not all the time, but . . . yeah. I miss you."

"Good, cause I miss you, too."

The door to the club opened and Leon poked his head out. He took in Cloud with his arms wrapped around Riku and smiled.

"Worked out your differences?" said Leon.

"He was just jealous," said Riku.

Leon nodded.

"No shit. Just thought I'd let you know it's about to hit midnight."

"Guess we should head back in then," said Riku.

Cloud frowned as Riku pulled away and walked toward the door.

"What do you mean 'no shit'?" said Cloud.

Leon laughed.

"You've been glaring and grunting at me for weeks now. I figured it was only a matter of time before everything blew up."

Cloud grunted. Leon slung an arm around Cloud.

"I'm not trying to steal your boyfriend." Cloud looked away. "Oh, come on. I like you two together. Riku's great, you're great, and you're great together."

"I know. I'm . . ."

"Cloud, even if I was trying to steal your boyfriend, do you really think Riku is going anywhere?"

". . ."

"Then there you go. You know Riku is in love with you, and he isn't going anywhere. As long as you know that, it should be all you need. So the next time you think someone's making moves on your boyfriend, just enjoy the satisfaction of knowing he's going to throw all those numbers away and go home with you."

Cloud stared at the ground for a few seconds. He scratched at his elbow.

"Yeah, I guess . . ."

"He's going home with _you_."

"Yeah, but he's kind of going home with you, too."

"Yes, but he's going home _with_ you. He won't be slipping into my bed."

Cloud smiled.

"Yeah, I guess . . ."

"You've got two minutes before midnight, Cloud. Be comfortable that your boyfriend only has eyes for you and get your ass inside."

Cloud fought the smile as he returned to the interior of the club. Riku sat in his lap as the club counted down to midnight. Their lips connected at the start of the new year, and Cloud spent the following two hours lost in the rhythm of the music, his hips pressed to Riku's, his hands roving across Riku's body before they returned home. An exhausted Riku collapsed on the bed in one of Cloud's t-shirts, his back against Cloud's chest, and he draped an arm around Riku's waist, pulling him tight as they drifted to sleep.

* * *

**_Yes, I know it's been awhile. I've been running to Hershey a lot to do paperwork and orientations so I can start work this Sunday after my sister's wedding. I've been prepping for my sister's wedding on Saturday. My roommate doesn't like it when I ignore her._**

**_Oh, yeah, and I've been playing FFVII. Still not finished yet, but I've been advertising since this story started that I haven't played any FF games before, so I'm super psyched._**

**_Cloud in drag. Oh, yes._**

**_Anyway, responses:_**

**Beatrisu**: Ah, the site is always kind of fucked up. CloudReno is the shit. I really like them, too. You should expect to see references to CloudReno in upcoming chapters of this fic, because yes, I have loved Reno since I saw Advent Children about a year ago, and I plan on making him a Cloud ex, and he will make an appearance here eventually, but that's all I can say on that.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: Nah. They can't break up yet. There's still 60 chapters left! Sora will wake up from the pod thing--er--in about fifteen to twenty chapters. Eep! Heh.

**Endoresu**: Thank you for saying it's awesome. I LOVE Cloud/Riku, too. Yes, he's growing up and getting sexiful, but since his voice was already changed by KH1, I don't foresee his voice changing again. We'll assume his voice lowered before he left Destiny Islands.

**Chibi Fruba Girl**: I don't know if this part was twisted, but hey. I liked it anyway. So now they've fought again. I enjoyed it as well. Bows to the goddess of Demiku. Sorry I didn't update soon. Been busy. Updates should be coming faster.

**Soul Writer of Dark Truth**: I like crazy off-pairings. I will check out your story should I find the time to do it (because all my free time right now goes to this story and playing FFVII).

**Mangled Euphoria**: Yeah, I caught that apostraphe s after I posted, but it's so much work posting on here to fix one little thing that I just said "screw it."

**The Glass Slipper**: I know there wasn't much mention of party boy outfit in this chapter, but there will be club aftermath in the next chapter for poor, exhausted Riku (spent too much time dancing, ya know?), and I imagine there will be mucho talk about it there. But it WAS mentioned. I feel kind of weird writing Riku getting taller, and I was worried about writing this transition because it showcases just how much younger he is than Cloud. I really don't want Cloud to come off as a creepy pedophile or anything because I think the two are so sweet together. I shouldn't have to say it, and I shouldn't say it anyway because I've said it so many times before, but I really do adore Riku's storyline. Which is obvious seeing as how I'm writing this story.

**koyuki-san**: Yeah, I do it with people all the time. I know I shouldn't say something, and I say it anyway because I know I shouldn't say it. And as I'm saying it I know I should stop, or switch to something else, but I don't because I'm angry. I'm often laughed at when I'm in a fight with someone, too, because apparently "the most ridiculous things come out of" my mouth. Yeah, Cloud is very emo, and I guess I did make Leon an older brother figure because Riku was so close to his older sister that Leon's kind of taken her place in guiding Riku through milestones in his life.

**Koji Inari**: I know I have not updated in so long. Am sorry. Really. I am. Snapped at two of my friends today for interrupting me while editting because I had not posted in so long. Update Dirge. I will give you more of this story tomorrow. Yes, I promised it. Tomorrow.

**MordeMe**: Thank you so much for your reviews. More emotional depth than a teaspoon? That sounds a little Hermione Granger to me. But thanks. I appreciate it. And Cloud can say "fuck that shit" anytime he likes for you.

**darktenshi17**: Yes, once I got into the fight, the boys were out for blood so there was a lot of reading. Didn't realize it until they dragged it out forever while I was editting. Went so much faster while I was writing it.

**Mizuki hikari**: Thank you. I shall.

**Alcorion**: I actually really love Leon/Sora, but I actually . . . hm . . . I wasn't going to put him with Sora. I'm currently entertaining two ideas, and it depends on which direction I actually take Cloud's upcoming trip to Midgar, so . . . yeah. Oh . . . did I just leak that Cloud was going to Midgar soon? My bad.

**prettykitty3000**: You may be slow, but I'm slower. I haven't finished FFVII yet, but it was sweet of you to leave me that Myspace comment. Leon appreciates being best supporting character considering all the bullshit Cloud and Riku put him through. He did get the KH2 leather jacket for his efforts, though.

**Twilight Angel 1013**: I've brought you to the dark (yaoi) side. Mwa ha ha ha ha. No, really, comments like that make me wonder what is so special about my story, but I really kind of like it in a way. Maybe that's the sadistic side of me that tends to come out in Leon when I write. Hm.

**krazy-wit-a-k**: Oh, you're sweet. Yes, I like to read a story, too (at least up to the point of where the author left off), before I review. I even occasionally will wait for a story to finish before I review. Then there are the people I consistently bug to update because I feel like I'm on crack when I read their stories (not that I would know what crack feels like, but I've heard stories). Yes, it's a bit (ha!) of a rare pairing, but I intend to fix that little problem of mine.

**Sakura-Angel2**: You're very sweet. I suppose you might not have caught up yet, but when you do, I look forward to hearing from you again.

**from yesterday**: Can I assume you are a 30 Seconds to Mars fan? I am a 30 Seconds to Mars fan. Saw them twice live, and quite by accident both times. Am huge Shannon Leto fan. Man is incredibly sexy. Ah, anyway, story. Focus. Shannon. Focus. Ah, yes. Grinning like a moron is great. I'm glad you found this story, though, before it got halfway because I kind of pity any readers who may start when I get around chapter 70. Grinning like a moron is always good, though. Make up sex, huh? I guess that will have to come next for their after-club fight sex. Was planning on it, anyway, but hey . . . Yes, I am going to bring Sephiroth back, but not until much, much later in the story. Yeah, Roxas, Sora, and Kairi are all coming up, and it's going to be great fun, I think. Roxas sooner than the rest, and let's not forget dear Namine. I look forward to it.

**_Yes, I promised. I'll update tomorrow._**

**_Til then._**

**_Love._**


	41. The Value of Teasing

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 041. Independence

**Word Count**: 5,994

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: They could never really be free—not as long as the darkness remained. Sometimes you have to decide if what you have is worth fighting for.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

**Warning**: Underage boy on boy sexual activity is enclosed within the following text. Be forewarned and proceed with caution (or elation if that's your cup of tea).

* * *

**_Step Forty-One: The Value of Teasing_**

Sun peeked through the sheer material of long, thin curtains that hung from a metal rod. The bright rays cast a blinding light into the darkened room as they streamed through the panes of glass, across two bodies shrouded beneath the heavy blankets, and into the far corner by the door. Shades of yellow and orange disappeared into the solid white, swallowed by the walls. Flecks of dust danced in the stream blazing across the space. A hand grasped the blankets' edges and yanked them up, covering a mass of tangled, silver hair. Cloud chuckled.

"Good morning, sunshine."

Riku grumbled.

"Turn out the light."

"That would be the sun. No can do. Isn't it usually me who doesn't want to wake up in the morning?"

"It's my turn today."

"Why's that? Did someone stay up past his bedtime last night?"

Riku yanked the bottom pillow out from underneath his head and swung it behind him in the direction of Cloud's too-loud, sing-song voice. It passed over the mess of blond spikes, hit the side table, and fell to the floor.

"Missed," said Cloud.

Riku grumbled.

"Well that's the last time I take you out dancing. You get grumpy when you wear yourself out."

"I didn't wear myself out."

"Just like a little kid. Had too much excitement last night, got all tuckered out, and now you're cranky."

"I'm not cranky. I'm tired."

"You're tired because you stayed up past your bedtime."

"I don't have a bedtime. I just stayed up later than usual."

"Same thing, babe."

"Why are you so happy this morning?"

"I don't know." Cloud stretched out, wrapped an arm around Riku's waist, and pulled him to his chest. Riku hid his face in the pillow and smiled. "Maybe it's because I woke up to you."

"You always wake up to me."

"No, I wake up to you waking me up. I don't usually get to wake up to you still in bed."

Riku wiggled closer to Cloud, his smile widening as he felt calloused fingertips sneak under the hem of his shirt and stroke along the length of his stomach.

"Maybe it's because I had a good time with you last night."

"Good time? You were miserable last night."

"Yeah, at first, but you more than made up for it with how sexy you looked dancing with me."

"You looked pretty hot, too."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm glad you danced with me."

"You know, I think you look more provocative dancing than you sometimes do during sex."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. It turned me on."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You're a really great dancer."

"You think?"

"Yeah. You looked really great, too. Leon picked out some good clothes for you."

"You liked them, huh?"

"Mmm . . . yeah. You have a great stomach."

Riku squirmed as Cloud's fingers moved lower across his skin, brushing the trail of hair below his navel.

"You think?"

"Yeah. The zipper's a plus, too. Easy to take off. That was some good shopping on Leon's part."

"You still mad at him?"

"I still don't like you spending more time with him than me, but maybe you can come up with a way to make it up to me. After all, I think the quality of time spent together is more important than quantity."

"I can think of a few ways to make it up to you."

"Is that right?"

"Yep."

"And what are those?"

Riku smirked against the pillow. He covered Cloud's hand with his own and applied a gentle pressure, pushing it farther down his stomach toward his cock. Cloud leaned across his upper body, placed a kiss to his neck, and smiled against the skin.

"What? You'll make it up to me by allowing me to get you off?"

"Well you were so jealous of the way Leon was looking at me, and touching me, and pressing against me that I thought you might like to do it instead."

Cloud pulled his hand from beneath Riku's, snatched the hip pressed into the bed, and yanked him onto his back. Riku took one look at the pout on the Cloud's face and burst into laughter.

"What?" said Riku. "I thought that's what you wanted."

"Brat."

"You're so dumb."

"I'm dumb?"

"Yes, being all jealous and everything. You should know by now that I'm completely crazy about you and only you."

"Don't tell me it didn't give you an ego boost that I was jealous."

Riku grinned.

"Yeah, but it was still dumb."

"You're a brat."

"So are you going to let me make it up to you or what? Cause all that pillow talk's got me really turned on."

"Let you make it up to me by getting you off? What about me?"

"Oh, you'll get yours. I just thought you'd like to reclaim what's yours since there were other people _touching_ me."

Cloud smirked.

"Reclaim what's mine, huh?"

Riku nodded.

"Yep."

Cloud stared at Riku for a second, and then jumped off the bed. Riku frowned, his eyebrows knitted, and propped himself up on his elbows.

"Cloud . . .?"

"One sec. Take off your shirt."

Riku continued to frown, but sat up and pulled the material over his head. He discarded it next to bed, still frowning. Cloud ran to the door, turned the knob, and poked his head out.

"Hey, Leon, Riku and I are having make-up sex so don't come near the room!"

"I didn't need to know that!" Riku heard Leon shout back.

He smirked. Cloud shut the door, turned the lock, and rushed to the bed, burrowing back under the blankets.

"Was that really necessary?" said Riku.

"Do you want to get interrupted?"

"Good point."

Riku fell back and shrank down into the mattress, savoring the heat radiating from Cloud's skin as he sprawled across Riku's chest. His head fell back, neck exposed, and his eyelids fluttered before shutting as Cloud dropped his head to trail kisses along the bared skin. The fingertips returned, rough against his flesh as they danced over his collarbone and down his chest. Chapped lips pressed against his neck with the occasional soft pressure of the tip of Cloud's tongue, cold to the initial touch, but as his hot breath ghosted over the dampened spot, Riku squirmed. His breathing quickened a bit, became shallower as he lifted a hand and trailed his palm over Cloud's shoulder and down the definition of muscle. He stilled and gripped his arm as Cloud's fingertips continued lower on his body and now trailed along his inner thigh.

Cloud chuckled. Riku cracked open his eyes and frowned.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"No. I'm just giddy."

Riku laughed.

"Oh? And why's that?"

"I love you on your back."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Turns me on."

"Control freak."

"You like it."

"Yeah, I do."

A devilish smile spread across Cloud's face, his blue eyes glittering more than usual. Riku squirmed.

"I don't like that look you're giving me."

"Why's that?"

Riku smirked.

"You look like you're up to no good."

"Maybe I am."

Riku gasped and his head fell back again as a sudden pressure wrapped around his cock. The instant gratification shot through his body. His eyes shut as that now-familiar warm feeling spread through his stomach. As his mouth fell open, Cloud touched his teeth to his bottom lip and bit down. Riku arched his head up to capture Cloud's mouth.

----------0----------

"Satisfied?"

Riku stopped mid-stumble across the living room. He glanced around for a few second, rubbing his fingers through his disheveled mess of hair. A soft chuckle sounded, and Riku caught sight of Leon sitting at the kitchen counter, cigarette in hand. He grinned.

"Yeah. Sorry. Were we too loud?"

Leon shrugged.

"You were."

Riku dropped his head, but the smile refused to leave his face.

"I know I should be embarrassed, but I just feel too damn good right now."

Leon laughed.

"Were you going somewhere?"

Riku raised his eyebrows, and looked around the room. His hand was still tangled at the back of his head in his hair. He laughed.

"I think I was going to pee."

Leon grinned for a moment, bit his lip, and dropped his head.

"I want you to know that I'm doing everything in my power not to laugh at you right now."

"It's okay. I know I must look ridiculous."

"You sound pretty ridiculous, too."

"I think I'm grinning like a moron, too."

Leon nodded.

"Oh, yeah."

"That bad, huh?"

Leon nodded.

"Yeah."

The door to the bedroom opened again and Cloud walked out dressed in only his boxers. He looked from Leon to Riku, and then back to Leon.

"I thought you were going to the bathroom?" said Cloud.

"I distracted him, and now I don't think he can focus long enough to remember where the bathroom is."

"That was really amazing," said Riku.

"I could tell," said Leon. "Job well done, Cloud. You fucked the sense right out of him."

Cloud shrugged.

"I warned you to stay away from the room."

"I tried to, but I could still hear you from outside, and I really hate smoking in the cold."

Cloud smirked.

"You could hear us from outside?"

"Okay. I could hear _Riku_ from outside."

Riku grinned.

"That was really amazing."

Cloud and Leon exchanged glances for a second. Leon bit his lip and shrugged. Cloud scratched his chin, offered a smile, and walked over to Riku, patting him on the back. Leon dropped his head in his hand and chuckled.

"I think you guys are laughing at me," said Riku.

"Come on, babe. I think you still need to use the restroom."

"I'm not an invalid. I'm just really . . ."

"Satisfied?" said Leon.

"Yeah . . ."

"Go use the bathroom, Riku."

Five minutes later, the pressure in Riku's bladder was gone, and he returned to the living room to join Cloud and Leon on the couch. He dropped beside Cloud, touched the length of his calf to Cloud's, and placed his hand just above Cloud's knee.

"Can I get a cigarette?"

Leon grabbed his pack from the table, shook one out, and passed it over. Riku fiddled with the lighter, and then dropped it on the table. He took a deep inhale and smiled as Cloud extended an arm around his waist.

"All better?" said Leon.

"I was just a little . . ."

"Disoriented is a good word," said Cloud. Riku slapped his chest.

"Shut up. Don't get smug."

"So I take it that everything is better in happy couple land?" said Leon.

"For now," said Cloud.

"Yeah," said Riku. "Until Cloud goes on one of his mood swings again."

"Who? Me?"

"Yes, you."

"Hey," said Leon. Cloud and Riku turned their eyes in his direction. "Lets it keep this way for a little while, okay? Cause you two drive me crazy."

Cloud laughed.

"Yeah, sure. No problem."

"What do you mean 'you _two_'?" said Riku. "I wasn't the one in the jealous fit of rage."

"No, you're just the one who went to the realm of darkness and needed all details that may have revealed your identity on the down low for months on end."

Riku bit his lip and grinned.

"Who? Me?"

"Yeah. You both can go ahead and act innocent all you like, but you're more work than you know, and I'm not even in this relationship."

"Hear that, Cloud?" said Riku. "He's not in our relationship."

Cloud rubbed Riku's back and shook his head.

"You know what I love about you so much?"

"Hm?"

"Your sense of humor."

"Well you did make a total ass out of yourself."

"I did not."

"Yes, you did," said Leon.

"Careful, Leon. I think you're getting in the relationship again."

"Wouldn't want to do that. That makes him angry."

"And you wouldn't want to see him when he's angry."

"You both suck," said Cloud. "Stop picking on me. It hurts my feelings."

"That makes me want to pick on you more," said Leon.

"You're a bastard."

"Poor baby," said Riku. He titled his head and pressed his lips to Cloud's jaw. "I'm sorry. I was just playing with you."

"You play mean."

"You say that so often. You don't say that to Leon."

"That's because he knows I'm a bastard," said Leon.

"Yeah. And you're my boyfriend," said Cloud. "You're supposed to be nice to me."

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because you love me."

"I'm mean to you because I love you."

"You're a brat."

"You like me bratty. Besides, I think I have a right to be bratty since you're so emo and moody."

"I'm not emo."

Leon snorted. Riku patted Cloud's chest.

"Of course you're not."

"Why is this 'Pick on Cloud' day?"

"Because yesterday was 'See Cloud Act like an Idiot' day," said Leon.

"That's not fair. My pride is already injured. Way to kick a guy when he's down."

"Woe is you. You're such a whiner."

"I want you to know I would have been offended by that if I didn't think you were teasing."

"I know I haven't pushed it too far yet. I'll stop joking when you start speaking in third person. Now go get dressed and enjoy your day off because you have more work to do tomorrow."

Cloud groaned, threw his head back, and covered his eyes with his free hand. The other hand squeezed Riku's shoulder, and then dropped to his hip.

"What if getting dressed is entirely too much work?"

"Then anyone who visits today is going to be subjected to you in your underwear. It's mean, but hey . . . I can't stop you."

Riku snorted.

"I think Cloud looks very nice in his underwear."

"That's good considering that he's fucking you."

Leon stood and walked to the kitchen to refill his coffee cup. Once his back was turned, Riku grinned, rubbed his hand along the definition in Cloud's stomach and placed a kiss next to his ear.

"I wouldn't plan on getting dressed if I were you, but you should head into the bedroom."

Cloud raised his eyebrows.

"Again?"

"What? Aren't up for it, old man?"

"Who're you calling old man?"

"Depends on whether or not you can rise to the challenge."

"You're a little shit."

"A little shit who's recovered and ready for round two."

Cloud smirked and nodded.

"I truly appreciate you're sixteen years old right now. I mean, _truly_ appreciate it."

"I bet you do."

"Should I warn Leon?"

"Just lock the door. I'm sure he'll hear me again. And hey, if you can hear me outside, maybe no one will actually want to come in to visit cause I wouldn't mind actually spending the entire day in bed with you."

"Were you always this horny?"

"Yes. I just wasn't always this brave about it."

"I think I like you this way."

"Good, cause you made me this way."

"Bedroom?"

"Definitely."

----------0----------

On Monday morning, Leon shook Riku from sleep, placed a coffee cup in his hand, and switched on a lamp as he left the bedroom. Riku rubbed his eyes and sat up in bed. He sipped from his beverage as he dressed, and then stumbled out of the room into the kitchen. Leon stood by the toaster, cigarette in hand, and Riku snatched one from his pack as he moved to the refrigerator.

"Did you wake Cloud yet?" said Leon.

Riku shook his head.

"Nah. Easiest way to deal with a sleepy, bitchy Cloud is food and caffeine. I don't even try without them both anymore."

Leon snorted.

"At least you've got a method down, right?"

"Yeah." Riku sat a carton of eggs down on the counter, fished through the drawer beneath the stove, and grabbed the cooking oil from a nearby cupboard. "Hey, Leon, sorry about yesterday."

Leon laughed as his toast popped.

"No problem. You two needed some couple time. Anyway, I went over to Aerith and Yuffie's. Visited with Tifa and Vincent, and played with the runts some since they're leaving in a few days."

"Is Tifa going with them?"

"Yeah. Well, she's been here for awhile now, and she's coming back eventually, but she's got stuff she needs to do on Midgar, too. There's a lot of work to do, and only one Tifa to get it all done. Apparently Reno's really been on Vincent's ass to get Tifa back. Not literally, of course. Thankfully."

Riku arched an eyebrow.

"Thankfully? What? Is Reno some kind of slut?"

"You could say that."

"So is Reno part of that AVALANCHE group?"

"No. Not officially, anyway. Reno's one of the Turks, though Reno works for Reno more than anyone."

Riku sighed.

"I'm never going to get any of this stuff straight, and it sucks because I want to understand what everyone's talking about, but . . ."

"Cloud really understands it more than I do. He's the one who went to Midgar. Everything I know has been second-hand through Cloud or Tifa or Cid or Vincent."

"You didn't go to Midgar, too?"

Leon chuckled.

"I _wanted _to, but nope. Never happened."

"Why not?"

Leon sighed.

"You know, it should be Cloud telling you all this stuff."

"Apparently, Cloud takes a long time to get around to telling me stuff."

Leon paused, frowning. He shook his head and carried his toast to the counter.

"You know what Shinra is, right?"

Riku nodded.

"Yeah. They're like . . . Midgar's government or something, right? Own everything. Got an army and a bunch of research scientists for just about anything and everything at their disposal. Cloud makes it sound like scary shit."

"That's because Shinra did a lot of fucked up shit—still does, at that." Leon sighed, rubbed his arm, and flicked his cigarette. "The Heartless invaded Hollow Bastion about twelve years ago, I guess. Ansem—" Leon paused, noting Riku flinch, and took another breath. "Ansem was still a good guy then, or so we thought. Ansem the Wise, then. Told us he was researching the Heartless to discover just what they were. Whether they were a threat or not.

"The Turks do all the recruiting for Shinra. After about three years of the Heartless here, we knew they weren't good, but we still had no idea what it was all about. Then the Turks showed up. They told us what the Heartless were, the threat they posed, about Keyblades, and about Gaia—the world they came from, because Midgar is just one small part of their world. It seemed so fantastical—other worlds existing and everything. But Gaia was overrun with Heartless, and they needed recruits to control the problem. Shinra promised that once their Heartless problem was taken care of, their army would assist in saving the worlds they'd recruited people from in exchange for services.

"We needed help. More Heartless appeared every day, people were going missing constantly, and no one had seen Ansem the Wise in almost two years. Cid signed up right away. I wanted to go, but they had an age requirement. I was eleven at the time; Cloud was fourteen. He made the cut; I didn't. So Cid, Zack, and Cloud left for Midgar.

"About a year later, your friend King Mickey came to Hollow Bastion. There weren't many people left, but he got who was out of here and over to Traverse Town."

"I didn't know you knew Mickey already . . ." said Riku.

Leon laughed.

"Oh, yeah. That's why Aerith, Yuffie, and I were looking for the Keyblade master in the first place. Otherwise, we probably never would have met him. You know, whoever he may be."

"Right. Cause I think he was my best friend, but even I don't remember if that's true or not." Riku pushed the bacon around the pan and bit his lip. "So . . . what happened?"

"I don't really know much. We were all really worried about our friends that had left. Aerith told us all to be patient, but Tifa and Yuffie hijacked a Gummi ship a few years later and went to look for them. Aerith was going to go after them, but she got a bad feeling about it and stayed instead."

"Why didn't you go?"

Leon smirked.

"I was still pretty ticked off about Zack and Cloud leaving me behind. I was really angry for a long time. I couldn't help on Midgar, and I couldn't save Hollow Bastion on my own. I kind of blamed them for what happened—for leaving—and then I blamed myself for not being stronger."

"So that's your deal with the Restoration . . . Why you think it's your fault . . ."

"Yeah . . ."

Riku shook his head.

"Anyway . . . sorry. Continue."

Leon nodded. His smile appeared forced.

"You know what AVALANCHE is, right?"

"Resistance group against Shinra?"

"Yeah, in short. About a year ago, Cid, Tifa, Yuffie, and Cloud came to Traverse Town. Tifa left again after a few weeks because she said there was still a lot of work to do with AVALANCHE, but . . . I don't know. They needed to get Cloud away from there was what she said. He was . . . you know, Cloud should really be telling you this. Not me."

"I want to know."

"If I tell you more, I'm going to have to talk about Zack, and I get nervous talking about Zack to you."

"Why? Because he's the ex-boyfriend, and I'm the current one? I want to know."

"I'm surprised he didn't tell you about all of this, but I want you to know that it's because it was bound to come up eventually, even if it was in passing. I understand why he didn't. You typically don't tell the person you're dating about your former relationships, and what happened in Midgar was a real disaster."

"You mean with SOLDIER?"

Leon frowned.

"Did you know that Cloud almost didn't make SOLDIER?"

"But I thought . . ."

Leon shook his head.

"Yeah, sure, he made it into SOLDIER, but it took him ages. It doesn't really surprise me. Cloud was always—small, for a lack of a better word. He was short, thin . . . Never much of a fighter. When they got there, he didn't make it very far. Just a guard. But Zack . . .

"Zack, Cloud, and I all shared a room at the orphanage so we were all friends. Zack was the personable one. Fun, friendly, great sense of humor. I was the baby. Got picked on a lot, cried a lot. Cloud . . . Cloud got left behind. I think he was born insecure. I mean, anytime anyone messed with me he was there to defend me, but then we both got wailed and depended on Zack to save us more than we probably should have. Cloud _worshipped _him, and he's always had this complex about being more like Zack.

"I think when he left with the Turks, Cloud really felt like he was going to become stronger, or worth something. Zack tried to talk Cloud into staying for me, but he wouldn't hear any of it. Zack made SOLDIER without a problem, but Cloud really struggled until . . . well, he let the darkness in. And he became stronger. "

"And then Sephiroth was created, right?"

"Created is kind of the wrong word. Sephiroth _was_ a person once. He—Sephiroth—was a member of SOLDIER. But Shinra did something to him—and this is the part of the story I don't fully understand, because Cloud doesn't really go into details—but Sephiroth lost his mind. Went on killing spree, almost killed Zack and Tifa, and Cloud tried to stop him. They both almost died, and then . . . I don't know. That's where the gaps in Cloud's memory start to come in. From what he can decipher out of it, the Shinra scientists held them all for a long time. Sephiroth would've died, but I guess they figured out how the darkness had affected Cloud, and they used Cloud's darkness to save Sephiroth, make him even stronger, because those morons still thought they had the Heartless under their control, and that now they could control Sephiroth, too. So in a sense, he was created, or more so re-created from Cloud's darkness.

"Cloud was really messed up from whatever they did to him while he was in that lab, but Zack broke them both out. From what I understand, he dragged Cloud halfway across Gaia before Shinra guards and the Turks caught up with them, killed Zack, and left Cloud for dead. Obviously, Cloud's head was really messed up, but he stumbled around Midgar before collapsing right in front of Tifa. And that's when he became a mercenary and eventually joined AVALANCHE.

"When they got him back here, he'd just killed Sephiroth for the third time, but as you know . . ."

"Killing Sephiroth isn't the problem," said Riku. "Keeping him dead, however . . ."

"Yeah. Exactly. You're going to burn your eggs."

Riku snapped his attention back to the stove.

"It hasn't been long since Cloud arrived in Traverse Town, and he was still really messed up from everything that happened when I saw him again. He's been chasing after Sephiroth to finish what he started ever since."

Riku bit his lip as he dished food onto plates and slid bread into the toaster slots.

"This is what gets to me," said Riku.

"What?"

"Stuff like this. Sephiroth isn't dead. And Cloud didn't know what he was doing when he opened his heart to darkness, but now he's carrying it with him for years. And from what you're telling me, Cloud isn't all that spectacular without the help of darkness. It all starts with a negative emotion that everyone gets. Cloud was insecure, and probably a little jealous. I . . ."

"It's the same with you?" said Leon. Riku nodded. "So you opened your heart to darkness, too, and now . . ."

"I feel like I'm pretending all the time. I laugh a lot. I make jokes. But I still have this piece of Ansem in my heart, and I'm constantly aware of it. I forget for a little while, but then I feel it again. I'm sure Cloud's the same way, too, with Sephiroth. It's why I know that this can't last."

"What do you mean?"

"This thing right now with Cloud. It can't last."

Leon raised his eyebrows.

"Really . . ."

Riku snorted.

"Well, yeah. Eventually he's going to have to go after Sephiroth again, and I'm going to have to go against Ansem. We'll hardly see each other, talk over the phone, and maybe things will work out, and we'll see each other again, but . . . I don't know. Call me a cynic, but this thing I have with him . . . the way I _feel_ with Cloud . . . I think it's too good to last. It's only a matter of time before things get really bad. I feel it coming, and I don't want it to happen, but . . . I mean, if I could have it my way, he'd defeat Sephiroth for good, I'd get rid of the Ansem in my heart, and we'd just be together forever, but things just don't ever go that perfectly.

"I want to be only his, but Ansem's got a pull on me. And he can never be entirely devoted to me so long as Sephiroth is around. Maybe we can help each other through it, but maybe that's all we're together for, because we aren't really _free_ people."

Leon regarded Riku for a moment.

"I usually think you're both being idiots, but . . ."

Riku sighed.

"I know."

"Riku, maybe you are a cynic. Maybe you are fated to be with each other right now because you're in such similar situations, but you're such different people that you can help each other through it. Maybe you won't be together at the end of it all, and maybe you will. No one can say for certain, but don't worry about it too much. Just let things happen."

"Let things happen, huh?"

"You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Riku stared into the juice cup, and then sat it on a tray.

"Of course I am."

"This normalcy right now can't last. You're right about that. You both do have things you need to take care of, but that doesn't mean that you can't get it back. Destiny is a big part of the way things work with the Keyblade, right? Destiny and strength of heart."

Riku shrugged.

"I guess."

"I think fate works to a certain degree, but you have to take control of your own destiny for it to manifest. You and Cloud were brought together by chance, but it could have been inconsequential. You could have met once, and never saw each other again. Your choices, and I imagine a good deal of hard work, has brought you both to where you are now. After all, it was your strength of heart that got you through Castle Oblivion and back to Hollow Bastion.

"You're probably going to face a lot more shit before it's all sunshine and daisies, but you're still in control of making things work. And maybe fate has given you this break right now. You have the choice to solidify what you have, and get to know each other more. It's up to you whether you want to make it something to fight for, because I promise it's never going to be easy, even when the Heartless are gone.

"I wouldn't worry about your relationship still being overshadowed by Ansem and Sephiroth. You just need to worry about whether what you have with Cloud is worth the risk, because that's something that belongs to both of you. Ansem and Sephiroth can't do anything about the way you feel for each other."

Riku tapped his fingertip on the counter.

"Were you, like, some kind of wise, old man in a past life or something?"

Leon snorted.

"I doubt it."

"Do you just sit around, listen to Aerith, and then regurgitate everything twisted into your own words?"

"Mostly. Biggest problem with that is I can't seem to keep any wisdom for myself."

"At least you'll always have Aerith."

"Yeah, I guess."

"I gotta go wake Cloud before his food's cold."

"Don't forget his coffee."

"Oh, right."

Riku grabbed the coffee pot from the hotplate and filled a mug. As Riku collected the tray together, he passed Leon out of the kitchen, and before entering the bedroom, he turned back.

"Hey, Leon?"

"What's up?"

"I just want you to know . . . I think it's definitely worth it."

Leon smirked.

"I should hope so, because I don't know if I could pick up all the pieces if you broke his heart. You see the way he acts when he's still confident you aren't going to leave him."

"He makes an idiot out of himself?"

"Yes, exactly. Now go feed the troll, or I'm going to have to explain to Cid why he's late again."

----------0----------

"My shoulders hurt."

"Whiner."

"My back hurts."

"_Whiner_."

"My legs hurt."

"Cloud—"

"You'd be complaining, too, if you had to put your brute physicality to work all day. You got off easy."

Riku rolled his eyes, pulled the blankets higher on his waist, and his lips twitched into a smile.

"Cloud, I can't help that your brute physicality is your only asset, and if what I was doing was so easy, you'd be capable of it, too."

"You're being mean again."

"No, I'm being honest. It's not easy working on the defense mechanism. It exercises my _brain_. I know you don't know what it feels like, but imagine the pain in your back being in your head."

"Screw you."

"Again? Well, if you insist . . ."

Riku caught Cloud's eye in the mirror, grinned, and rolled over onto his stomach. He glanced over his shoulder to see Cloud lean against the dresser, arms crossed over his chest. Cloud smirked and shook his head. Riku raised his eyebrows.

"I love you?"

Cloud laughed.

"You are too much."

"I hope that isn't a bad thing."

"Where do you get the energy?"

"All that time I'm sitting inside on my ass at the computer instead of doing all the manly man work you do."

"Brat."

"It's a good thing. It gives you a sexy body for me to ogle, and then I can rest up so all my energy gets expended on taking care of you. Your needs. Coffee, food, sex . . ."

"Are you serious? Again?"

"Actually, I'm teasing. I'm still worn out from yesterday."

Cloud nodded.

"Good, because my back hurts so bad I can hardly walk."

Riku rolled his eyes and flipped over.

"Come here, whiner. Let me take care of it."

Cloud trudged across the space and sat on the bed.

"Where do you want me?"

"Right where you are."

Riku crawled across the bed. He pulled himself to his knees and yanked Cloud's shirt over his head. He dropped it at the end of the bed, and moved his fingers to the muscles in Cloud's shoulders.

"Poor dear," said Riku. "You're all in knots."

"I told you."

"Yeah, you did."

"Your hands feel amazing."

Riku snorted.

"That good, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"No, really." Riku paused. His chest pulled tight as he moved his hands across the expanse of Cloud's back. "I really love you. I'm _in love_ with you. I . . ."

Cloud's hand reached up and covered Riku's at his shoulder.

"I'm in love with you, too."

"I . . . Cloud . . ."

Cloud turned his head back and smiled.

"I know. I feel the same way."

"But I haven't . . ."

"Leon mentioned your conversation while you were in the shower."

"Are you mad?"

"About what?"

"That Leon told me about all that stuff on Midgar instead of you."

Cloud chuckled.

"Oh, Ri, Leon only hit the tip of the iceberg."

"Does that mean no, then?"

"No, I'm not mad."

"Are you jealous?"

"Nope. At least he got the ball rolling for me."

Riku smiled.

"Good. I mean, yeah, you drive me crazy sometimes, but I don't like it when you're upset."

"You don't have to worry about that. You drive me crazy, too, but hey, you're worth it."

"I want to be with you until the day I die."

"Even though I drive you crazy?"

"Yeah. I mean, I always love you. Even when I hate you and wish you were dead."

Cloud laughed.

"And there you go being mean again."

"It's true. You make me want to scream sometimes, but I always love you."

"I guess we're even, then, because there are lots of times I want to smack you around, but I still love you through it all."

"You want to smack me around sometimes?"

"Yeah. Like right now. My back is waiting for your fantastic hands, and patience is not a virtue I was blessed with."

Riku laughed and returned to work.

"You're a bastard."

"But you still love me."

"You're getting smug, again."

"I love that you love me. If you could see yourself the way I see you, you wouldn't blame me for being smug."

"I think that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me."

"That's just you being egotistical."

"Maybe."

As Riku worked his fingers through the knots in Cloud's back, the words replayed in his head.

"_If you could see yourself the way I see you . . ."_

A smile tugged at the corner of Riku's lips. His gaze shifted to the mirror. Cloud winked at him through the reflection.

* * *

**_So I know that I promised I'd post tomorrow, and now it's been a week, BUT I have a good reason. Promise._**

**_Not that my promises mean much at the moment, but stick with me._**

**_So I was going to write this chapter Thursday night/Friday morning last week, but I slept longer than anticipated. Which meant I had less time before I had to go see where the reception hall for my sister's wedding was. And then I had to shop for shoes and a bra (being a bridesmaid and all), and my 45-minute drive to Harrisburg became over an hour because the damn car got a pebble in it and make some horrible screeching sound. Then I could find a bra and had to try on, like, a million of the same style until one worked. Then I had to speed like a maniac back to the reception hall to leave for the rehearsal, but no one was there because everyone else was running even later than I was (first and probably only time that will ever happen), so rehersal got started late. Then I had to do my hair, and my nails so Friday was gone._**

**_Saturday was the wedding, and I had about four hours of sleep, so I crashed when I got home when I'd intended to write the chapter Saturday night, then. Slept for about thirteen hours, went to Hersheypark to work Sunday, and when I got home, my attic room was so ridiculously hot that I had to go fan shopping and set up a fan system. Then my friend Sara dropped in, and Sunday night was gone._**

**_Monday and Tuesday night were spent in a particularly foul mood, because I've been in a nasty mood lately. I think it was the lack of coffee because my dear friend Sara left the coffee pot on the morning of the wedding and it was all jacked up. My mom fixed it, but until that happened, I was like Cloud at six in the morning without caffeine._**

**_So now it's Wednesday night, and I've got it finished. And here it is. Or was._**

**_So, anyway, now that my melodrama is out of the way, onto the important stuff--the readers. You guys. My inspiration to stop spending money at blockbuster and more free time at the computer._**

**_BTW - I am aware the alerts aren't working. This effing site. I swear . . ._**

**Jediempress**: Have I told you yet that I love your SN? I think I have, but I get excited when I see the word 'Jedi.' Anyway . . . I wish I had artistic talent, too. Luckily I have a best friend (aka roommate who gets jealous over my close relationship to Cloud and Riku) who has mucho artistic talent and is willing to be commissioned. I will inquire with her about doing the dancing scene when she gets to work on the Cloud/Riku art I've already begged her to do. Sorry to hear about you being down. Depressive cycles suck. I should know as I am highly bipolar and slip into them often. You're welcome for letting you write your story. I feel weird saying that. I don't feel like I should _allow_ you to write a story, because I'm just not that egotistical that I feel I have any power over anything anyone writes. But I really did love your story, and I'm grateful you wrote it. I believe I even favorited it.

**mirakia**::cough:: Yeah, sorry about the late update. But you know . . . I appreciate you spoke up and left a review. I am usually a lurker myself, but there comes a time in every lurker's life when you must actually make your presence known. Usually when you're truly enjoying something, so it really means a lot that you let me know you're enjoying what I've got here so far. It's funny, because I was a huge fan of Cloud and Riku pairings, too, and my best friend insisted they couldn't work together, but I was determined to show their potential. I'm glad I won you over. Gives me faith I wasn't entirely crazy when I shoved these two together.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: Okay, you know what the funny thing is about our writer-reader relationship? I have this kind of dry wit that doesn't work really well written down, and I'm never offended by anything you say, but it seems you're occasionally offended by the possibility I may be offended, and I feel bad about that. I totally knew what you meant by 'juicy twist,' I'm just . . . well, yeah. I have an odd sense of humor that comes across badly written down, so I hope I never offend you, because . . . yeah. Now I'm all awkward. _Anywho . . ._ I cracked up when I read you'd just watched Riku lip-synching. It's so fitting. I listened to mostly Justin Timberlake while I wrote the chapter, but Fergie would have been just so perfect, too. That's so great. I did consider (briefly) a Leon-Cloud-Riku love triangle, but I just . . . yeah. There's too much fucked up shit going on already that I just can't bring myself to put these boys through more than they'll already endure come KH2. And I'm really glad you kept thinking about this story, because I was kind of concerned that people would lose interest with it being so long between updates. This is, of course, something I never want to happen. I called Cloud emo in this chapter. Yay!

**Mizuki hikari**: It would be kind of fun to have Riku related to Sephiroth, but that would definitely be another story. I just can't see it fitting into this one the way I already have it planned to go. I have a vague idea of how Sora is going to react to their relationship and being in the dark about it all, but I won't know for sure until it's written.

**Lady Karai**: Don't worry. Like Cloud said, Leon only touched the tip of the iceberg here, and you will definitely get to hear Cloud tell Riku more in Chapter 46. I liked slipping in the Sora thing. It's been difficult, bridging the gap between Chain of Memories and KH2. Like Riku and Mickey have to part ways soon and all sorts of stuff. Like Tifa leaving because neither she nor Cloud is in Hollow Bastion when Sora shows up. Your kind words about not overstressing myself made me feel much better about not getting around to updating until now. I appreciated it.

**koyuki-san**: Yeah, Cloud really was dorky in the last chapter, but I love a dorky Cloud. I mean, come on. Cloud is a pretty big dork just the way he is. Didn't need much help from me at all. I wibble when it comes to Zack, too. Yeah, Cloud didn't bring it up because some things are better left unsaid, but with Riku the only one not in the know and Zack being such a big thing to Cloud here, it's something that Riku would have to hear about eventually. Yeah, I was actually surprised at how young Leon (Squall?) is in FFVIII, so I made him younger than Cloud. Worked well, too, with working Midgar in here. Riku doesn't get enormous shoes because he's grown into his feet. Poor Sora, I doubt he'll ever catch up.

**Beatrisu**: Yeah, this site is really jacked up. Always is, it seems. Funny you should ask about Riku getting jealous . . . heh . . .

**bliss**: I have updated. It's nice to hear this is unique. I had worried that perhaps Riku's story was already written a million times and probably with more accuracy than mine (I know I've flubbed).

**prettykitty3000**: Jealous Cloud equals Sexy Cloud? Hm . . . yes, I know. I couldn't wait for his jealous streak to come out, really. I'm a bit horrible that way. Leon is probably such a very gay straight person because I still haven't decided whether to stick him with a guy or a girl. Gotta seem him ambiguous until then, and Leon isn't complaining, so I'm not going to fight him. And yes, you spelled sense correctly. Spelling was one of my high points in school. Obviously I haven't told the Zack story yet (that's a Cloud story to tell), but Chapter 46. Yep. So you've got a wait, but hopefully not a terribly long one. I don't think 23 dollars is enough for the rights to Kingdom Hearts, but it's more than I have to offer so that's something. Keep working on it. I'll be awaiting the message that Kingdom Hearts is mine, all mine!

**The Glass Slipper**: Yeah, something about Riku getting that outfit from Leon amuses the hell out of me considering Leon is a leather-clad god. It just fits in such a such an amusing way. And I truly enjoyed getting them dancing together and it driving Cloud to the brink of insanity. I really am more of a sadist than I realize. I'm glad Riku growing up doesn't seem creepy on Cloud's behalf. I truly didn't think about how far apart their ages really are until I started to write, because at twenty-two, I often forget how young Riku really is (probably because I lust for him). Heh. Cloud and I were the same age lusting for Riku. I guess Cloud's not as bad as it seems. I'm so happy it was one of your favorite chapters, because it was the only chapter I knew would exist from before I wrote the story, and I knew it would go in this story the second I saw the prompt for chapter 40. I was just _aching_ to get there.

**_Thanks a bunch to everyone who read and didn't review. Lurkers are readers, too, after all._**

**_Love._**

**_-December_**

**_PS - Anyone in the Hershey area, or anyone who might be trekking to Hersheypark sometime over the summer, let me know when you're going as I am working there again. If I'm working, you should stop by, and if I'm not, I have no problem heading into Hershey to meet up with a reader. I like friends who share a common interest in my sweet little boys. Oh, and if you could make it to Hershey but can't afford it, let me know that, too, because I'm going to have a slew of free park tickets I just don't need._**


	42. Run

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 042. Heartless

**Word Count**: 2,955

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Things are starting to happen again.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

**Author's Note**: You have Jediempress to thank for this chapter coming as soon as it did. She has made me eager to get Sora back in this story, and there's a lot to do before that happens.

* * *

**_Step Forty-Two: Run_**

"Things are starting to happen again."

Pain ebbed through the taut muscles in Cloud's back, arms, and legs. His right arm extended across his chest as his fingers worked at the knots in his left shoulder. He had been in a daze—in one of those brooding moods that prompted taunts from Leon, a swift kick in the ass from Cid, and one of Aerith's pearls of hidden wisdom. He dreaded the following day with all the work needed done on excavating the lower entrance to the castle. Merlin—in his overexcited desire to help with everything—now tried to assist with the defense system. Since Tifa departed three days ago, Cloud and Mickey were left with the entirety of the grunt work, and Cloud was not happy about it.

Cloud listened as Riku recounted the horrors of his day. For once, he was grateful for his task, because although it was hard on his body, Riku sounded more tired, wearier. The defense system was progressing as expected, but something was screwing with the system, causing blockage on the town grid and interfering with setup. Leon managed to find another system as the source of interruption, but Riku wasn't able to break into it. Merlin tried his magic, which prompted an argument between Cid and the old wizard. Leon got so frustrated after repeated failed attempts that he drew his Gunblade against it, and Riku had to step in before Leon destroyed the equipment.

It was silent for some time after Riku finished. He dressed for bed as Cloud sank back into his reverie. His eyes were on Riku, and though he watched as Riku brushed his hair, his mind was elsewhere. At least it had been until Riku's voice cut through the quiet.

"Things are starting to happen again."

Cloud brought his arm down and rested it in his lap. He rotated his body to face Riku and frowned as he caught sight of his boyfriend's face. Riku's eyes were downcast and his mouth was set tight, lips pressed together, almost pursed. When Cloud first met Riku, it was his eyes that drew him in. They were always full of emotion—the window to his heart. The distance and depression he read in the aquamarine settled heavy in his conscious.

"What do you mean?" said Cloud.

Riku shrugged. He set the brush on the dresser and crossed the room. Dropping beside Cloud, his fingers fumbled together. His shoulder rolled forward, hunched over. Riku's eyes stared at the floor, and though the lengths of their thighs brushed together, Riku remained drawn into himself. The gap Cloud felt between them was enormous.

"Are you still on about things not staying the way they are now?" said Cloud.

"I don't want to be away from you again. It wasn't great before, but it wasn't horrible because . . . Well, I guess 'cause I was used to it. Now . . . I know what it's like to be with you all the time. Live with you, and . . . I just don't want it to end."

"You shouldn't be so worried about things. You have a plan. When the time comes, you're going to help the person no one remembers, and then you're going to defeat Organization XIII. It'll only be for a little while, and then we can be together like this again, only it'll be better because we won't have the darkness hanging over us."

"I just don't know . . ."

Riku sighed.

"You just don't know what?"

"I don't know if I should be sitting here waiting. The darkness in my heart—that piece of Ansem . . . it isn't going away. I don't want us to be apart, but . . . You're right, you know? If I don't end this . . . Things can be better than what we have right now, but it means defeating Ansem, and you have to finish Sephiroth."

"I know that, babe. That's what I'm saying. And once that's all finished, we'll be together again, and it _will_ be better than it is now. We don't need the darkness in what we have together."

"I know that."

"You're over thinking. Even if we're apart, we'll still see each other. And you have your phone again. We'll talk all the time. Then we can finish things and really be together without worrying about when things are going to fall to shit again."

Riku opened his mouth, caught his breath, shook his head, and then his mouth closed again. The depression faded a little from his eyes. In its place was the same determination he'd seen in Riku, unyielding, no matter how much hesitation may have swam behind it. Cloud smiled. For all they had gone through—together as a couple and separately as people—Riku still had the fire in him that grabbed Cloud's attention from the start. He brushed the back of his hand against Riku's wrist.

"Don't worry so much. Whatever happens happens. And you'll always have me here to be your stability."

"Cloud, I want you to know that I love you. No matter what happens or where I go . . . I just love you, okay?"

Cloud nodded.

"Yeah, sure. I love you, too."

-----------0------------

Riku remained sullen over the course of the next few days. Cloud wanted to say something, wished he could do anything to make Riku cheer up, but he had learned long ago that they were similar people. When Riku was ready to talk more about what he was feeling, he'd come to Cloud, but until then it was best not to pry. He had to let Riku figure things out on his own. It didn't stop the ache in his heart when he caught Riku's eye. There was a sadness there that mingled with the fire, and Cloud wanted nothing more than to hold him and make the pain go away.

They had never been big at cuddling. Sure, Riku tended to use Cloud's body as a pillow, and there were nights that when they lay down to sleep, Riku would press his back against Cloud's chest and he'd bring an arm around Riku's waist to hold him there. More often than not, Riku sprawled across his half of the bed. They rarely held hands. When they sat together, Cloud draped an arm over Riku, and Riku might have dropped his hand to Cloud's knee, but the contact was always relaxed. It might have been the way he'd sit with Aerith or Tifa if the mood was right.

They had never been big at talking about their feelings. Sure, there were times when everything fell apart, and all the bottled emotions came spilling out, but the said feelings tended to relate to the darkness. When there was a big enough concern, they had discussions about them. They made sure to say "I love you" everyday just in case, but there were no mushy conversations. Chances were that if there wasn't a raging war between dark and light, and the Heartless weren't such a big problem, they wouldn't even get that far. More often than not, talks about their relationship led to banter, sexual innuendos, and ended in a good fuck.

The lack of poetic romance to their relationship had never bothered Cloud. He never saw a reason to bring Riku flowers or chocolates. Dancing sticky and sweaty at a club on New Year's Eve beat slow dancing under the moonlight any day. One of the things he loved most about Riku was that there was never a need to whisper sweet nothings to him. He need only say what he meant, and sometimes a simple pat on the shoulder was all Riku wanted. Maybe Riku tended to bring him breakfast in bed, but he had ulterior motives. There was nothing sweet about it.

As the days passed, though, and Riku drew farther away, Cloud wished they were more affectionate. Physical contact between them had always been casual, almost natural. It would be weird and out of place to hug Riku when he was withdrawn. Hugs were only warranted when Riku was an emotional mess, ready to talk, and in the middle of a breakdown. Cloud wanted to pull Riku to him at night and tell him how beautiful he was, wanted to make sure Riku knew just how much he meant to him. He wanted to tell Riku how lost he'd be without him, but professions such as these would be even stranger than hugs. It was more likely that Riku would panic, assured that Cloud was about to break up with him rather than assuage his insecurities.

Ansem was getting to him; it was in his voice. To Cloud, it seemed like eons ago when he sat on the balcony at the hotel in Thebes, spending hours on the phone listening to Riku. All that time, however, had made Cloud's hearing acute to the changes in Riku's voice. He had always known when it was an uneventful day, whether Riku was down or not, if he'd had an encounter with Sora before Riku ever said anything. The way he spoke now was so familiar that Cloud felt his heart breaking; it was the same way he spoke every time Maleficent bestowed him with another "gift" of darkness. The way Riku spoke when he feared losing his heart.

"Hello? Cloud? Cloud!"

Cloud blinked. He raised his head to find Leon staring at him. Where did he come from?

"Hey."

"What were you so lost in thought about?"

"Hm?"

"You've been sitting there for almost an hour now. It's starting to creep me out."

Cloud frowned.

"What time is it?"

"Almost ten. Riku's getting ready for bed."

"Oh."

Cloud nodded. Leon frowned, rounded the counter, and sat opposite from him. He lit up a cigarette and brought it to his lips.

"You shouldn't think so much. You're going to hurt yourself."

A weak laugh escaped him. Leon shook his head.

"Really, Cloud . . . What's up?"

"Hm . . . nothing, really. Just . . . I don't know. I've been spacing. So how did things go today?"

Leon raised an eyebrow. He considered Cloud for a moment, took a drag, and shrugged.

"Same as usual. We got the defense system working, but we still can't break into the other system, and I still can't figure out where it's coming from. Did you hear about the Heartless problem?"

"There's a Heartless problem?"

"Yeah. Around the castle on the other side from where you're working down by the Dark Depths. The Heartless keep multiplying, and we can't get the system out there yet. The other system's interfering with it. Their numbers are growing faster than we can keep up with it, and there are these other creatures . . . these things . . . they look like aliens wearing white jumpsuits. You should see 'em walk, too. It's like they're made of rubber. Cid thinks they're another kind of Heartless, but I've never seen anything like them before."

Cloud frowned.

"Things are starting to happen again."

"That's what Riku said." Leon paused and rolled his cigarette in the ashtray. "He's worried, but you know that, don't you?"

Cloud shrugged.

"He's been distant for a few days now."

"I know. It really started right after the Heartless thing happened."

"He's counting down."

"What?"

"Things are starting to happen again. That's what he said. He's counting down until it's time to leave again. The time's coming and he knows it."

"Cloud . . ."

"Probably a Keyblade master thing. He just . . . He just knows."

Leon dropped his head and laughed.

"You know . . . I know you're right, but I don't want you to be."

Cloud raised his eyebrows.

"You?"

"Yeah. Riku's . . . Riku's one of us now. I'm used to having him around. He's . . . I don't know. I guess he's kind of like the little brother I never had. Thinking of him going away again . . . fighting to get rid of that piece of Ansem in his heart . . . I guess I see a lot of you in him. I still hate it when you leave, and I pray every time that you'll finish it and come back."

"Squall . . ."

"We're a family, you know. We never had anyone else but each other. Riku's part of this now, too. I don't want anything to happen to either one of you. I know I have everyone else, but when you both leave again . . . I don't know. I guess it's going to be just me again."

Cloud bit his lip. He regarded Leon, studying his face. His head hung.

"You have Aerith, Yuffie . . ."

"They have each other. Cid . . . Cid's always been Cid on his own or not. Tifa's got Vincent and the kids. It was always you, me, and Zack. Now it's you, me, and Riku. I hope you know that, Cloud. I hope you know that Riku's one of us. Breaking up isn't an option anymore."

"Guess it's a good thing I have no intentions of that ever happening."

Leon nodded.

"That it is."

"Why is the third person in our group always my boyfriend?"

Leon smiled.

"Cause you made it that way, I guess. It's a good thing you and Reno weren't serious. I don't think I'd have liked him in our group."

Cloud laughed.

"Oh, I can just imagine you and Reno trying to inhabit the same space. You'd kill him in days."

"I don't know how you put up with him."

"Easily. We didn't talk much."

"Slut."

"Leon . . . I'm sorry about all of this. For leaving Hollow Bastion. What happened with Zack. Sephiroth. I . . . I didn't mean . . ." Cloud took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to isolate you."

Leon's lips twitched. He shrugged.

"Hey, shit happens. Don't go getting all sentimental on me."

"You started it."

"You aren't supposed to point that out, Strife. Don't you remember how things work around here? I couldn't care less if something happens to you. I'm just worried about Riku. You know how I like to look at him."

Cloud crossed his arms over his chest. His lips twitched into a smile.

"Bastard."

Leon smirked.

"I try."

-----------0------------

Cloud hated the cold, hated the wind. It was annoying the way it whipped at his hair, dried his skin, chapped his lips. His nose felt large on his face; the sweat and heat from labor against the biting January cold had blocked his sinuses. He grunted as his shovel sank into the pile of rocks, strained, and whipped it to the side.

"Cloud!"

He set his shovel down, wiped the sweat from his face, and turned toward the source. Leon rushed toward him, panting, his brunette locks whipping in the wind. He stopped before Cloud and looked around.

"Walkway's coming along," said Leon.

"Yeah it is. So what's up?"

"Have you seen Riku?"

"Not since he left for Merlin's this morning. Why? What's up?"

Leon frowned.

"Merlin's? Riku was going to take his Keyblade out to the Dark Depths today and work on the Heartless problem."

"Oh, well . . . I don't know. But, no. Haven't seen him since this morning. Got a problem?"

"The computer's freaking out, and I can't figure out what's wrong with it. I went down to get him, but he wasn't there, and he wasn't at the house, so I thought he might be with you."

It took several seconds for the information to process. Cloud stared at Leon, searching for some sign that this was a misguided, mean-spirited joke. His heart sank. Leon's face turned expressionless.

"Riku's missing," said Leon.

Cloud bit his lip. He turned his face from Leon and caught King Mickey's eye. Mickey frowned and nodded.

"No," said Cloud. "Riku's gone."

"The piece of Ansem in his heart?"

"It's been bothering him."

Leon frowned. He stepped forward and took the shovel.

"Go."

"What?"

"I think he's telling you to go after him," said Mickey.

Cloud shook his head.

"No. He . . . he needs to do this on his own. It's what he wants. I understand. Sephiroth . . ."

"Go find him," said Leon. "You don't have to bring him back here, but go."

"He shouldn't have to go through this alone," said Mickey.

"You're the one he trusts."

Cloud's mouth fell open to respond. He looked between them.

"If he wanted that he'd have asked me to come."

"He didn't want things to end, Cloud," said Leon. "He's been dreading the change. He's scared of losing you. He's trying to make it easier on himself by just taking off, but he needs you. Aren't you the one who told me that you're his stability?"

"Yeah, but . . ."

"Even if it's not what he wants, it's what he needs."

"I wouldn't know where to start . . . I mean, Hollow Bastion is just about the worst place for him. If I was going to look anywhere, I'd start in the castle, but I know he isn't going to be there."

Leon shrugged.

"Do you know what I'd do if I were you?"

Cloud looked up.

"Hm?"

"I'd get on my Gummi ship, give him a call, and lie my ass off about understanding and supporting his decision to do this alone until he told me where he was."

Cloud smirked.

"Sneaky bastard."

"I bet you a month's worth of hard labor it works."

Cloud raised his eyebrows.

"You're on."

* * *

**_Yeah, go ahead. Continue._**


	43. Almost

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 043. Memory

**Word Count**: 1,877

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: For Riku, almost always fell short, but this time it had to be enough.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

**Author's Note**: It should go without saying, because I'm sure you all know what the end of the last chapter meant, but I'll say it anyway. Welcome to the Deep Dive story arc. I know a lot of you have been waiting for it, so sit back, relax, and enjoy.

* * *

**_Step Forty-Three: Almost_**

Riku knew he must have been crazy. His heart ached whenever he looked at Cloud, but something was calling him, urging him away from Hollow Bastion. He wasn't supposed to be here anymore. The time for fun and games had gone. With it went the time to enjoy Cloud. He could no longer ignore the darkness in his heart that throbbed and ached—the darkness that begged to take over. Things needed to be finished. There were loose ends to tie up, and though he wanted to stay forever, Cloud was right. They didn't need the darkness hanging over them. They didn't need it tainting their relationship. While Riku would never regret opening the door to the heart of Destiny Islands because it had taught him so much about himself, made him stronger, and brought him to Cloud, he started this mess. He needed to finish it.

Besides Ansem, there was the gap in his memories. He felt empty and alone as he struggled to fill the hole. Who was this boy that had caused him such anger only months ago? Why couldn't he remember him? Something happened in Castle Oblivion, something to do with this person, but Riku couldn't grasp what it was. Everything since the darkness intertwined with this boy, but he couldn't remember his name. Couldn't picture his face. Couldn't recall why he'd done so many stupid things over this kid that he was sure had been his best friend. Riku hated that above all else, he felt like a bad friend for forgetting him. A good friend would have remembered, wouldn't have allowed this empty space to take his place.

"Heading out?" said Cloud as Riku pulled on his jacked.

His throat felt tight as he turned.

"Yep."

Cloud smiled.

"See you tonight."

Riku paused, hung his head, and then he crossed back to Cloud. He placed a kiss on his cheek and stepped back.

"I love you."

"Love you, too, babe."

Riku pulled the coat collar around his neck, turned, and left the house. He felt dirty in a way. Deceitful. Sneaky. Cloud thought he was going to Merlin's. Leon thought he was going to fight Heartless down in the Dark Depths. He let them believe he'd be back tonight.

Riku hated the way he deceived Cloud, but he had to leave. He had to do this, and Cloud was quick to say he worried too much. He wouldn't understand how it felt to be pulled away even though Riku didn't want to go. He'd insist on coming, and Riku couldn't do that to him. Couldn't distract him from Sephiroth any longer. If he told Leon, Cloud would be hurt, and everyone would know by the time Riku made it to the bailey, because while Leon could keep a secret, he held no qualms about spilling them when he thought it was for the best.

He crossed the borough, passed through the bailey, and once he made his way down to the Crystal Fissure, assured that no one had caught on and followed, he reached into his pocket. Finding the cell phone, he took a deep breath and turned his face to the sky. He reached his hand out, and his heart pulled as the dark portal opened.

-----------0------------

The smell of darkness, the way it tasted in his mouth, was more potent than Riku remembered. It overwhelmed him—the acrid stench straining through his nostrils. The pitch black blinded his eyes. His mouth felt foul, devoid of the harsh, cigarette taste he was accustomed to. His heart thumped against his chest.

He had no clear destination in mind. More than once, the urge to turn around and run back to Hollow Bastion into Cloud's arms almost overtook him. He pushed on. His fingers itched toward his pocket, but his feet carried him forward, closer to the unyielding tug.

Cloud refused to leave his mind. Riku surmised this was fair considering the way he'd left. His face, the sound of his voice latched onto his senses. Riku couldn't let go. As it always was in these passages of darkness, time seemed to stand still. It had been so long since Riku felt this weightlessness of time, when he couldn't gauge how long his feet had carried him, but he supposed it couldn't have been long. Cloud was bound to call the second he realized Riku was missing. He dreaded the conversation, but there was nothing to be done about it now. He only hoped Cloud would understand. If he didn't . . . well, Riku didn't want to think about that.

The pull became stronger, more powerful with every step he took. He half-expected Ansem to appear from the shadows or his heart to succumb as the lingering piece screamed through his body and rushed through his veins. Maybe it already had. He couldn't tell the difference. Maybe he was back in the realm of darkness, behind the door again, gone from the outside world forever. Maybe that's all these passages were, and as Riku's senses slipped farther away, became faint, he took comfort in the pressure of his feet against the ground, and the confidence it brought that at the very least he still had a body.

"I've been waiting for you."

The voice cut through the dark. Riku spun, searching for the source. He waited for Ansem to show himself, confirming his fears, but when a figure appeared before him, it was DiZ. Riku stared, and an annoyance he hadn't expected to obtain in a portal of darkness itched across his skin.

"You again. So it was you who called me from Hollow Bastion?"

"Called you?" DiZ laughed. "I did nothing of the sort. Maybe you just knew it was time to leave."

"You said you've been waiting for me."

"I anticipated your arrival. Felt your approach. I see you've parted ways with the king."

"A piece of Ansem is still lingering in my heart. I have to face it on my own if I want to defeat it."

"You expected to face Ansem, did you?"

Riku lifted his chin. This guy could crawl under his skin with an ease that was in and of itself irritating.

"Yeah, I did. So what are you doing here? Got a bunch of choices for me to make?"

"Yes, there is a choice I want you to make, but there is some explaining that goes along with it. Will you listen?"

"Asking me if I'll listen is a choice."

"All right. Two, then."

Riku glared. He crossed his arms and looked away.

"I'd say I don't have a choice, but you really aren't that kind of guy."

DiZ smiled. It was creepy.

"You haven't lost your determination. That's good."

"Get on with it already. Tell me your little story and give my choice so I can get this over with."

"Very well. You have holes in your memory. Am I correct?"

Riku started. He turned his face toward DiZ.

"How do you know that?"

"The events in Castle Oblivion led to those holes. You have a friend very dear to you that's gone away, and it is his memory you can't recall. The Keyblade master."

"Yeah . . . That's right. So what about it?"

"His name is Sora. Do you remember Naminé? Organization XIII used her to defile Sora's memories. To regain them, he had to go to sleep while she rearranged the chains in his heart. She offered the same services to you—to lock away the darkness in your heart."

"I remember her. It sounds familiar, but like it happened so long ago that it's hardly there anymore. What does this have to do with me?"

"To gain your memories back and for Sora to awaken, the restoration process must be completed, but Naminé has encountered some setbacks in the procedure. Sora's heart is not responding."

Riku couldn't put words to the emotions that spread through him. Fear, hopeless, desperation. They were all good choices, but nothing fit. Nothing was close enough to the emptiness that sank in his heart at the words. Sora. Sora _was_ his name, and Riku had loved him at one time. Still loved him like a brother, and wanted desperately to know he was safe, to see him again. DiZ continued.

"You've met members of Organization XIII, and they've been sly about revealing their identities to you. They are a group of powerful Nobodies. What their purpose is, I have yet to discover."

"Nobodies?"

"Have you ever wondered what happens to the remaining shell when a Heartless is born?"

"I . . . I hadn't really considered it."

"Sometimes when someone with a strong heart loses itself to the Heartless, the empty shell left behind begins to act on its own. These beings are called Nobodies—an empty vessel that continues even after the heart is gone. They are far more dangerous than the Heartless because of their abilities to think, strategize—and Organization XIII is comprised of the most powerful Nobodies."

"Does the King know about this?"

"I believe he's starting to suspect. They've started to appear in Hollow Bastion. If he doesn't know yet, it's only a matter of time."

"What does this have to do with Sora?"

"The Nobodies of Organization XIII are empty shells without hearts. They lured Sora to Castle Oblivion, intent on using him to achieve their goals. For whatever reason he is not waking, I am sure it has to do with member thirteen—a boy by the name of Roxas."

"Why would you say that?"

"Roxas fights with two Keyblades. As you should understand by now, the Keyblade chooses it's master based on how strong and true a heart may be. A Nobody should not be capable of wielding a Keyblade."

"So this Roxas . . . he might be the reason Sora isn't responding?"

"I am certain that if Roxas could be isolated from the Organization, we can discover what's keeping Sora from responding, and find a way to help him awaken."

"So where is this Roxas, and why don't you get him yourself?"

"Of his whereabouts, I am uncertain. As for why I don't retrieve him myself . . ." DiZ chuckled. Riku's glare returned. "I hardly have the skill to go against one Keyblade, much less two. I want you to find Roxas, and bring him to me."

"And say I do this? Where would I find you?"

"I have a mansion in Twilight Town. You'll find me there."

"Twilight Town? Is that a world?"

"Yes. Northeast of Hollow Bastion."

"And this will help Sora wake up?"

"I'm almost certain."

Riku didn't know how to go about finding Roxas, but that hadn't stopped him while searching for Sora all those months ago when he first got on the Gummi ship with Cloud. Almost wasn't a concept that Riku often found comforting, and usually wasn't good enough. The emptiness, however . . . The gaping hole in his memory was too large. Sora's name was there now because DiZ had spoken it, but his face remained fuzzy. Even their relationship, their encounters were lost. He needed to fill those holes, and almost was going to have to suffice.

Riku lifted his head.

"I'll do it."

* * *

**_Yeah, so now we're getting into the Deep Dive story arc, and I'm excited about that. Feel free to join me in the excitement. It is pretty sweet._**

**_I know that the site's alert system was down, and that sucked and everything (my inbox was busting with story reviews from all the crap I have posted here). Let's hope it stays working for awhile._**

**_For my reviewers: _**

**Beatrisu**: Norway isn't that far! lol I jest, I jest. The heh? Well, yeah, Riku's going to have to get jealous eventually. Look at him in the first KH game! The boy goes nuts when he feels threatened. I think Cloud deserves it, though, after everything Leon and Riku are putting him through for getting jealous. I'm sorry your character died. Really. That's one of those unfortunate things that just . . . yeah, it just kills things. No pun intended. But yes, you will always have Xigbar. He is all yours. Cause I say so. And anyone who disagrees with me can deal with it because I'm always right. Heh. Yes, I agree with you. I, too, love Leon simply for the fact he is Leon, and he's just so . . . Leon . . . and ::drool::. Ahem. And don't mind the rambling. It's a well-known fact I ramble more than all of you.

**The Glass Slipper**: I would love meeting you someday. Perhaps if I ever have the extra money. We would have great conversations about LeonxSora and CloudxRiku. I'm happy you adore the image of Leon shopping and doing it well, because I just giggled myself silly when I made the outfit come from Leon. The image of Leon buying party boy clothes is just too too funny. I know you said you were anxious about when all the shit would go down. Hee! Didn't have to wait long to find out when::hides::

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: Hah, yeah. You never make me angry, but I enjoyed the math class ruler story. I do that kind of stuff all the time. The love triangle was a fantastic idea, but yes, it wouldn't fit in this story. Hee. That doesn't mean it can't fit in _another_ story, though. Which has just fleshed out a short I was considering a little bit. Hm . . . Ah, anyway, we're talking about _this_ story, right? Yeah. I really am sorry I've been taking longer to update. I hate when work gets in the way like that. Effing Hersheypark.

**FrEaKyAoIFaN**: I made Leon more socialable I guess because I set it up so Leon was distant and antisocial because of Cloud and Zack leaving him alone when they went to Midgar, and then because he failed to save Hollow Bastion from the Heartless. Since he and Cloud have regained some of their friendship, he's become friendlier again, albeit slowly, but he's still a snarky little bastard. I guess one of the reasons I made Leon friendlier is because he becomes substantially friendlier towards Sora in the second game compared to the first, and I wanted to put a reason why he makes that transition into this story. As for Cloud . . . I don't know if he was out of character. I made him bitchy and moody, which is usually how I see Cloud (in addition to being a genuinely nice guy who is probably more sensitive than he'd like to be). ::shrug:: But that's just the way I see it. You're free to you're own interpretation as well.

**Soul Writer of Dark Truth**: Two thumbs up for the band and a big raspberry to finals. I hate finals. They suck so bad. Anyway . . . I'm not sure if I beat Jenova BIRTH. I honestly don't know where I am. The last thing I really remember was Cloud getting the mako poisoning and leaving the party, and I was so sad for him looking all messed up. I just got Cloud back in my party last I remember. Good luck with your game. I really should start playing mine again.

**-find.me.please-**: Ah, yes. Alaska is rather far away. Cloud will tell his story in Chapter 46. We're getting there.

**koyuki-san**: I love you, too. Especially for calling my incorporation of FFVII into KH-universe effortless, because I thought long and hard about how the hell to do it. I like people ganging up on Cloud. He's so cute when he doesn't know what to do. ::squee:: Anyway, feel free to ramble. I do.

**Mangled Euphoria**: I will be awaiting your message, and yeah, if you need a free pass into the park, let me know. I might have a spare I'd be more than willing to send you, cause they tend to go to waste with me since I work there so they have to let me in for free. I don't know if a chapter of mine has ever gotten four "goods" before, but I'll take it as a good sign. Okay, I admit it. That was a pun. A bad one, but one all the same.

**_Thanks to everyone who read and didn't review. Your efforts reflect in my hits, and have not gone unnoticed._**

**_And, yeah. Roxas is coming. Hang tight as the shit prepares to hit the fan._**


	44. The Hunt

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 044. Power

**Word Count**: 4,955

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku had better appreciate all the trouble Cloud was going to for him, but Cloud somehow doubted it.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

**Author's Note**: Fun fact: I watched _Advent Children_ before I wrote this to connect more with Cloud. I hope it paid off.

* * *

**_Step Forty-Four: The Hunt_**

Cloud left Mickey and Leon by the excavation site as he walked the long path back to the empty house.

Riku was gone. Again. Gone off to fight the darkness in his heart because before Cloud even knew who Riku was, he'd opened the door to the heart of Destiny Islands. Before he held Riku's hands or kissed his lips, Riku felt stifled and alone in a place where he could never embrace his identity because too many people knew his name and had expectations attached to it. He opened his heart to darkness, and by the time Cloud understood Riku enough to say the right things or simply listen, the darkness had wormed its way too deeply into Riku's heart. He had to finish things, because that had all happened before there was a Cloud and Riku. Now that there was a Cloud and Riku, it seemed to have lit a fire in Riku's eyes, fueled his determination.

Cloud could understand; it was the same with him. Back in the days of Midgar, SOLDIER, and Sephiroth, there was a Zack and Cloud. True, Zack was one of his best friends, and at the time, he thought he was in love, but Zack was everything Cloud never was and always wished he could be. He was tall, strong, carefree. Zack was never at a loss for friends or words. He made everything look so easy while Cloud struggled through, and it caused a lot of resentment on Cloud's part. When there was still a Zack and Cloud, he felt worthless and alone in a place where he never really mattered, and trying wasn't enough.

After everything that happened during that time with the darkness and Shinra, with Sephiroth and AVALANCHE, Cloud felt more broken than ever before. He spent more time than he should have searching for the truth, searching for his identity. He put too many people in danger; Zack lost his life. Destroying Sephiroth (who would have been long-dead if it weren't for the darkness in his heart) became a way to atone for his sins.

When he arrived in Traverse Town, it took days to look Aerith and Leon in the eyes. He allowed Tifa, Yuffie, and Cid to tell all they knew about what had happened with Zack and Shinra. Little by little, he further explained the situation with SOLDIER, Sephiroth, and the darkness. Aerith hugged him a lot during that time, became his stronghold, but he couldn't stay. The tension was thick. Though Leon had always been the other best friend, he held an aura of hostility and anger than Cloud couldn't shake. The accusation in his eyes was more than he could bear.

Even when the tension faded, it hadn't left completely. Cloud came and went from Traverse Town, driven mad to destroy Sephiroth. Aerith talked a lot about forgiveness during those days. Her uncanny way of saying the right things at the right time brought Cloud solace and comfort when he needed it the most. In the few short months before he took up with Hades, Cloud knew of nothing else but self-deprecation and the need to erase Sephiroth from existence. He needed to make up for Zack; he needed to protect those close to him that he still had left. His presence in their lives didn't bode well for their safety, and things had to end before someone got hurt again.

The days of Zack and Cloud were long gone now. In its place was Cloud and Riku.

Though their similarities never went unnoticed by anyone, to Cloud their differences were just as glaring. Riku was a lot like Zack in a way. In his circle of friends, he was the leader—the one with the ideas. Judging from what he knew about Sora and Kairi, Riku was the smart one—the one that when someone needed help with something, Riku was the person they called on. Riku was the one surrounded with people that wanted his attention, but Riku did his own thing and already had all the friends he needed. He was graceful and well-spoken with a sharp tongue that never betrayed him. This, in short, was so unlike Cloud, because he felt more than awkward as a leader, was better with his body than his head, couldn't keep on the good side of the friends he already had, and tripped over his words when he could even find them at all.

Riku was like Zack in the way where he made everything look so easy, but . . . there was something different about him that Cloud couldn't put words to. There was no resentment in their relationship. Cloud sometimes wondered if it was because he'd met Riku at the top of his downward spiral. If they'd met before or after, would Cloud have felt differently about him? Cloud liked to think he wouldn't, but maybe Aerith was right about things happening at a time and place for a reason. Maybe he and Riku had come together when their similarities were most apparent for Cloud to feel comfortable enough to reach out. Maybe Riku in that vulnerable position—stuck in the darkness but not yet drowning in it—triggered something in him. He'd always felt an urge to be strong enough to keep the people around him safe; it was the source of his hostility toward Zack, his feeling of worthlessness at not making SOLDIER, and why he let the darkness in. Maybe seeing Riku and that determination in him . . . Maybe seeing Riku that way and still unable to turn his back on Maleficent . . . Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe all that mattered was it had happened, because now there was a Cloud and Riku.

Because there was a Cloud and Riku, a different light cast over the way Cloud viewed everything. He didn't know if he'd forgiven himself yet for what happened to Zack, but the pain had lessened. He was closer to his friends than he had been in years—even he and Leon were adjusting back to what they'd once shared. When Cloud asked Aerith why she hadn't taken him aside in months for a lengthy conversation on his darkness, she smiled and said, "You've been happy. You don't need any advice from me." Since Riku, Sephiroth moved past atonement for his sins to something that perhaps . . .

Cloud took a deep breath.

Perhaps what happened to empower Sephiroth was simply unfortunate and not his fault at all, but since it was his darkness that continued to breathe life into him, it was Cloud's responsibility to end it.

He knew in his heart that Riku only caused these changes around him indirectly. It was Cloud's attitude that really made the difference, but without Riku . . . Riku had sparked something in him. It was something frightening in a way—heavy. There was a certain level of dependency that had grown in Cloud when it came to Riku. The way he felt when Riku gave him one of those fond little smiles or when Riku's voice pulled tight . . . It opened up a chance for disaster, Cloud thought The chance for heartbreak, tears, and a hopelessness he hadn't felt since he was about as old as Riku was now.

He tried to remain hard and unmoved at the knowledge Riku left without a word. He told himself that Riku needed to do this on his own, and it wasn't a big deal. He had Sephiroth to take care of, and when it was over everything would be perfect. He had to be understanding and impassive about it all. Riku could take care of himself. He knew what he was doing. Above all, he shouldn't listen to Leon about going after Riku because that would be ludicrous and against everything he told himself he needed to do.

Then again, it wasn't like Cloud could really do anything other than hold him and be supportive. He couldn't fight this battle for Riku—that was something he had to do alone. It wasn't as if Leon suggested he step in should things get ugly and a month without work in Hollow Bastion was always promising. King Mickey himself said Riku shouldn't have to go through it by himself. Sure, maybe they had the cell phones, but . . .

Cloud let himself into the empty house. He crossed the living room and sat at the counter, gazing into the ashtray. He laughed.

"Come on, Cloud. Pull yourself together."

There was really nothing quite as pathetic as gazing into an ashtray. What was he going to do next? Go lay in their bed (it had long ceased to be his alone) and sniff Riku's clothes?

Riku's clothes . . .

Riku left that morning without anything but perhaps his Keyblade. Couldn't the boy take care of himself? What was he supposed to do without a change of clothes? And that Organization group was still out there. How much help was that cloak from Castle Oblivion going to give him in Hollow Bastion?

Cloud smiled. He felt sneaky, but the little brat deserved it after running off without at least saying goodbye.

Standing from the counter, he crossed into their bedroom. He rummaged around the closet and then pulled out a large, black bag. As he dropped it on the bed, Cloud leaned over to the bedside table, shuffled around the drawer's contents, and pulled out his cell phone. He dropped onto the mattress by the bag, found Riku's number in the menu, and pressed send. After the second ring, Cloud felt relief in the assurance that—at the very least—Riku hadn't left his phone behind. He answered on the third.

There was a pause at first, and then a nervous sort of laughter that made Cloud smile. Riku was such a little brat.

"Hey, Cloud. What's up?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

Riku coughed. Cloud smirked and shook his head.

"You know, you won't believe it. The funniest thing happened on the way to Merlin's . . ."

"You're right. I won't believe it, because Leon said you were supposed to be working on the Heartless problem down at the Dark Depths today."

" . . . Right. Yeah, I was, but I was going to check in at Merlin's first . . ."

"Riku, why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"

"I did. In a way . . ."

"You said things were starting to happen again and we were going to have to go our separate ways soon. You didn't tell me that it was going to happen today."

"How long have I been gone?"

"About eight hours."

There was a pause.

"Wow. You figured it out faster than I thought you would."

Cloud scowled.

"Ordinarily I'd demand to know what that's supposed to mean, but you're diverting the conversation. Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"

Riku sighed.

"I wanted to, but I knew you wouldn't understand."

"What wouldn't I understand?"

"You know the piece of Ansem in my heart has been bothering me, and the appearance of the Nobodies made it worse . . ."

"The Nobodies? You mean those things in the white jumpsuits?"

"Yeah. They're the shell of what gets left behind when someone turns into a Heartless. That Organization XIII? They're a group of the most powerful Nobodies."

"Where did you learn this?"

"DiZ. I ran into him while I was wandering around in the darkness."

Cloud felt his heart pull tight.

"You're traveling through corridors of darkness again?"

"I have to. It's my only means of getting around. But, anyway . . . Cloud, don't be mad at me."

"I'm not. I just want to understand."

"Well . . . yeah. There was Ansem, and the Nobodies, and then there's Sora . . . you know, my friend no one can remember?"

"You remembered his name?"

"No, DiZ had to tell me that, too, but it feels right. I just . . . I knew I had to leave. It was time."

Cloud sighed and hung his head.

"That's what you thought I wouldn't understand?"

" . . . Yes?"

"I'm not an idiot, Riku. I get that much. You could have told me. I could have come with you."

"No. I mean . . . It's not that I don't want you with me, but you have Sephiroth to deal with, and I . . . I've been too much of a distraction already."

"You sure like to give yourself more credit than you deserve. Don't you think if I felt Sephiroth moving around, I'd be out there looking for him?"

"I . . . I didn't really consider that."

"He's made of my darkness. I know when he's active. That's how I know I haven't finished him yet. Something's stirring with him right now, but it hasn't manifested yet."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Cloud sighed. He rubbed his palm across his forehead.

"So where are you? What are you doing? Do you have a plan?"

"Yes. Kind of."

"Kind of?"

"Well, I didn't have one when I left, but then I ran into DiZ. He had a mission for me."

"Is this a good or a bad thing?"

"Good, I think. It's about Sora and the holes in my memories. All of our memories, really. Sora . . . Sora's been asleep. Something to do with Naminé taking apart his memories."

"Naminé's that girl you met in Castle Oblivion, right? The one who was going to lock up the darkness in your heart?"

"Yeah, that's her. But Sora's not responding to the restoration of his memories, and DiZ thinks it has something to do with a Nobody in Organization XIII named Roxas."

"What's this Roxas kid got to do with anything?"

"Well, he's a Nobody, but he fights with two Keyblades. Doesn't seem right, does it? If a Nobody doesn't have a heart, but the Keyblade chooses its master based on the strength of a heart . . ."

"How can a Nobody even hold a Keyblade, much less fight with one?"

"Exactly. And this Roxas kid is hard to get a hold of. DiZ's been after him for awhile, but Roxas keeps eluding him. Furthermore, DiZ says they look alike—Roxas and Sora. And Sora's the Keyblade master, so DiZ thinks the two are connected somehow."

"What do you think?"

Riku paused.

"This is going to sound crazy . . ."

"Go ahead."

"DiZ said he thought Roxas might be Sora's Nobody, but it didn't make any sense because Sora seems to be all in one piece. He'd have to have turned into a Heartless for that to happen, but . . . I can't be sure . . . When I was possessed back in Hollow Bastion . . . You remember that dark Keyblade I had? The one to unlock hearts?"

Cloud paused and thought for a moment. It felt like ages ago. He nodded.

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Remember when I first got back to Hollow Bastion and told you everything that happened? When Kairi's heart was hiding in Sora?"

"Yeah . . ."

"Well I told you that Sora stabbed himself with it. Released the princesses' hearts that were in it and Kairi's, too. Then he disappeared."

This all sounded very familiar. Cloud closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I remember. That was right before you went into the realm of darkness."

"Yeah, and I didn't see Sora again until I closed the door. Well . . . I don't know. I just thought that maybe . . . Maybe this Roxas kid _is_ Sora's Nobody. Maybe when Sora did that, he unlocked his heart, too, and when he disappeared . . ."

"Maybe for a brief span of time . . ."

"He was a Heartless," Riku finished.

Cloud considered this.

"So you're going to look for this Roxas kid?"

"Yeah. I guess I'm more eligible for the job being able to wield a Keyblade myself and everything. DiZ said that Organization XIII has a stronghold in this world . . . oh, what did he call it? The World that Never Was? I don't know. Something like that. It's really far north of Hollow Bastion, so I'm on my way there to check it out."

Cloud looked to the bag beside him and nodded.

"The World that Never Was, huh?"

"Yeah. Fitting place for a bunch of Nobodies, huh?"

Cloud snorted.

"That it is."

"Do you think I'm right? About Roxas?"

"I think it's possible."

"But is it probable?"

"I don't know, Ri. You're going to have to go with your gut on that one."

There was another pause.

"I guess . . . I think I am. I don't know. Maybe I have to meet Roxas first. I think I'll know for sure then."

"Where are you going to be staying?"

"I don't know. I'll find out when I get there. I really should go, though. Corridors of darkness aren't the best place to be distracted in."

"Take care of yourself."

"I will. Send everyone my love, okay? Except Leon. I know how that gets your boxers in a twist."

"You're a little shit. Run off without telling me and then have the nerve to tease me."

"You know you wouldn't want me any other way."

"I love you, little shit."

"I love you, too, jealous psychopath."

Cloud pressed end on the phone. He stood from the bed, dropped the cell in his pocket, and walked to the closet.

----------0----------

Three days, one short phone call with Riku, and two lengthy bitchfests with Leon later, Cloud felt as if the Gummi ship was running out of north to travel. He was about to call Leon to complain some more when a blip showed up on the Gummi radar. Only it wasn't really it a blip—it was more like a monster of a dot. Cloud sat forward, staring out the window as the world grew closer, and just as he moved to take the ship off autopilot, he hit a barrier.

"What the . . ."

Riku had called yesterday to say he made it into the World that Never Was, and looking at this entity, it seemed just as Riku described it. He changed the controls to manual and moved around the barrier. Darkness poured from the world, infiltrating Cloud's senses. This was worse than the Heartless, worse than even Sephiroth. Cloud was irritated. He'd flown all this way, actually found the place, but couldn't land. The barrier circled the entire world.

How the hell had Riku . . .?

Corridors of darkness. Cloud was glad Leon wasn't here to see how pleased with himself he was at the revelation. Riku didn't have a Gummi ship. His only means of traveling were the same paths the Heartless used to move from one world to the next. Cloud celebration didn't last long.

Sure, he had darkness inside him. A lot of it. He'd heard of these dark passages long before he met Riku and knew those who used them, but he'd never actually opened one himself. Didn't even know how to go about it. Even if he'd managed to open a dark portal, he wouldn't know where to go or how to navigate within it. He could call Riku, but that would be awfully suspicious. He was being sneaky here, damnit. And stealth. And he wasn't going to give Riku the opportunity to shoot him down.

After all, a month's worth of Hollow Bastion Restoration labor was riding on this little reunion.

Cloud turned the Gummi around and searched the radar for the closest world. He set on his target, switched the controls to autopilot, and sat back.

It just figured. Where was Sephiroth when you needed him?

Cloud contemplated his options. He could go back to Hollow Bastion and give up on his mission or he could find someone who'd tell him how to get in. The first choice wasn't much of an option. There was a shovel waiting for him back there, and Leon, who would insist Cloud hadn't tried hard enough. Aerith might have something useful to say—some light to shed on the present situation, but it wasn't worth the Leon thing. Riku was in that world, alone, and preparing to square off against some kid that didn't know what was coming.

In a way, Cloud felt bad for this Roxas character. It wasn't his fault he was a Nobody with some sort of connection to . . . Sora, was it? He probably had no idea why he could wield the legendary Keyblade, and this kid had _two_ of them. Sure, he was a member of Organization XIII, but Cloud doubted the boy was malicious. Nothing that came out of Sora could ever have malicious attributes. He was probably just lost, the Organization took him in, and now he was going to feel Riku's wrath over something he had no control over. To make matters worse, once Riku beat the shit out of him, some guy that even Riku didn't care for was going to poke and prod him while the witch girl knocked him off just to wake Sora up.

And people thought Cloud had issues with getting up in the morning.

Cloud shook his head and sighed. He found Leon's name in the contact menu.

"What do you want now?" said Leon.

"I have issues," said Cloud.

"Yeah, no shit. Now why are you calling?"

"Fuck off, Leon. I have issues. I found the World that Never Was, but there's a barrier around it. The Gummi can't get in. And there's so much darkness coming off it I want to vomit. I can smell it _inside_ the Gummi. Through the barrier."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know, but Riku got in through one of those portals of darkness. You reckon it might be the only way in?"

"Could be. Land somewhere and try to use one."

"Easy for you to say. I'm already headed to the nearest world, but I don't know how to open a dark portal, much less where I'd be going in one."

"Well I don't have a fucking clue, either. You're the one who plays in the darkness, not me."

"I know that. I was hoping you could ask the king for advice or something. Because he knows how to use them, right?"

"Yeah, I think so. Where are you landing?"

"Fuck if I know. I've never seen this world before. The paths have been all different since Sora and Riku closed the door to darkness."

"All right. Let me go talk to the king. Hold on."

"Will do."

----------0----------

After a long explanation that took a great deal of focus to understand, Cloud learned he was in Twilight Town and needed to infiltrate the old mansion there to enter the dark corridor. Cloud figured King Mickey must have really gotten around to know that much from the little Cloud could tell him after landing. He hardly had time, though, to dwell on the wonders of the many travels regarding the mouse king. The townsfolk of this world seemed to think he was crazy when asking about the old mansion. It was, apparently, haunted. Just as it seemed he might get on his way after a nice old lady pointed in the right direction for saving her cat from the awning above her shop, he had the displeasure of meeting some kid with a big mouth who called himself and friends the Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee. It seemed that Cloud was sniffing around where he didn't belong and would have to suffer the consequences. One ass-kicking later, he made his way through the woods and into the mansion.

Cloud wondered if Riku had to go through all this trouble every time he wanted to enter a portal of darkness or if this was the easy way. It was possible, Cloud figured, since he'd never opened one of these portals before, and perhaps King Mickey gave him the open door admission reserved for those who had no idea what they were doing. It was more trouble than it was worth, really. He cursed the barrier as he struggled over the fence (the gates were, of course, locked) and into the mansion.

More to his dismay than the big-mouthed brat, Cloud discovered the mansion was not haunted, but occupied. The voices of a man and a young girl sounded into the foyer. He thanked his foresight to make a quiet entrance as he crossed to the stairs and walked in the opposite direction of their voices. King Mickey said the entrance was in the basement, but he had to take the stairs to the door on the far right of the second level. At least something was going right that the voices were in the opposite direction.

Riku had better appreciate all the trouble Cloud was going to for him, he thought as he descended the steps into the basement. He passed through the computer room. It was just as Mickey described. He was thankful for small fortunes that the king gave better directions than Leon when he saw the portal.

Cloud took a deep breath. It was now or never. He stepped through.

King Mickey made it sound easier than it really was. Follow the light. Hah. He was in a corridor of darkness and the stench that poured from the World that Never Was was highly potent—darker than anything he'd smelled before. He didn't know how Riku did this so often—the place was devoid of light. His awareness of Sephiroth stirring was more powerful than ever before. How hadn't Riku lost his heart traveling this way? How hadn't Ansem seized him sooner?

Cloud was starting to get impatient. It felt like years walking through these passages, working his way toward the smell that was just a little less dark than the air around it. He fought off Heartless and Nobodies as his feet carried him. Cloud made a mental note to build Riku a Gummi ship. This was no way to travel.

When he emerged from the passage, there was hardly a difference. The world was black. Heartless teemed all over the place like the Dark Depths back in Hollow Bastion. Neon lights shined down upon him, but their light seemed dim, swallowed by the heavy, consuming air. He was now faced with two more challenges. The first was to find Riku. The second was to make his way through all these Heartless without getting his ass toasted.

Riku had really better appreciate all the trouble Cloud was going to for him.

He worked his way through the city. It seemed like an eternity rooted in one spot fighting off the Heartless until he could move to the next and the Heartless would attack again. He pitied poor Riku in this world. The Heartless were more drawn to the Keyblade, and Cloud wasn't even a Keyblade master. Riku's Way to the Dawn must have gotten one hell of a workout around here.

After what felt like hours, he took another weary swing at a Shadow when the rustle of fabric caught his attention, and the cling of a Keyblade cut through the air. Cloud whipped around to face a hooded figure. In his hands were two Keyblades. He resisted the urge to run like hell.

"Who are you?" said the boy. "You aren't a Heartless, and you aren't a Nobody. You don't belong here."

Cloud stared.

"I'm . . . I'm looking for someone. Riku . . ."

The boy snorted.

"That fool? He's probably hiding somewhere, crying for his mommy."

"You're Roxas, aren't you?"

The boy paused. He drew both Keyblades.

"Look, I don't know who you are, but you better get out of here. You don't belong in this world. I don't know where Riku is, but . . ." He brandished his Keyblade in the direction of a nearby alley. "He ran off in that direction. When you find him, you better get him out of here, too. He won't succeed in his little mission, and I don't have time for his stories."

The venom that dripped from his words caught Cloud off-guard. He took a step back.

"Riku already found you . . ."

"Yeah, and he'd lucky I let him live."

The boy—Roxas—turned and walked away. Cloud's brain hadn't caught up fast enough to say anything before he disappeared from sight. And then it all sank in very fast.

That was Roxas. Riku had already fought him, and Roxas was . . . and he said . . . which meant that . . .

Cloud blinked. His legs felt numb as he walked into the alley, his mouth agape. He paused and stared ahead. The alleyway was short. Cloud closed his mouth, bit his lip, and pulled the phone from his pocket. He dialed Riku's number and waited. The ringing reached his ears within seconds, and as suspected, Riku did not answer the call. Cloud pressed redial, waited, and moved closer to the sound. The third time he called, Riku answered, and his voice sounded in both ears.

"Hey . . ." said Riku. "Sorry, I was . . ."

Riku sighed. Cloud's footsteps were soft as he pushed open the door. He caught sight of Riku's back for a second before he whipped around, Keyblade brandished. The phone fell from his hands.

"What the . . ." said Cloud.

Instead of staring into aquamarine, Riku's eyes were bloodshot orange.

* * *

**_I finished this chapter, reread, sat back, stared in awe, and went, "Yes. That is just fantastic."_**

**_So, hey. At least I like it, right?_**

**_Don't fear. The next chapter is Riku's, after all, and you will get to see what happened between the time he talked to DiZ and now, which includes the alluded first encounter against Roxas. No, I didn't cut it out. Next chapter._**

**_Review replies:_**

**koyuki-san**: Ah, yes. Cloud has just seen Riku again. And I think Riku will not be too happy about it, don't you? Yes, Riku means a lot to Leon and entire Snarky Gang. So what did you think of our brief encounter with Roxas? I was a little nervous about writing him since so many people adore him, but I'm rather pleased with myself.

**Beatrisu**::snickers at the spork cannon:: I don't know if it's weird that I sent Cloud after Riku. I had planned on it ever since this story became a Cloud/Riku, and I've been dying to get to this story arc, but it seems like a lot of people expected them to be apart for some time once this shit started. Not to say they won't be apart soon for quite some time, but . . . hm. I'm looking forward to Chapter 46. That's all I'll say right now. takes a moment of silence to appreciate Leon's sex appeal All right. I'm better now.

**Lady Karai**: Ah, KHII. Riku has so few appearances in that one, and they are so far in-between. And random. Like the photo and the ice cream bar after the thousand heartless battle in Hollow Bastion. Which is also a part that Cloud makes an appearance in. I don't look forward to tracking Riku down through KHII, but it should be fun.

**Jediempress**: Why yes, I did put up two chapters just to show you up. Just kidding. No, but I really love your story, and your Sora has made me desperately want to get him back into mine. So I'm just trucking along. I did give you credit, though, for inspiring me to get my ass moving. I'm actually so happy I've inspired other people to write stories for this coupling. I had hoped it would happen because I spent so much time trying to find a Cloud/Riku story to read that wasn't a one-shot and actually got updated that I had to write it myself. And now that I can't read Sora/Riku anymore because he just _belongs_ with Cloud in my demented head, the extra stories are staving off my drought (there's a C2 community now! and I didn't have to start it!). You couldn't imagine how many times I wish someone would just share my brain, take my ideas, and write them for me exactly the way I want them. It takes a lot of time and energy working on this story what with staying true to canon and all. I know I've already messed up so many times, and it really drives me crazy. The great thing about your stories is they aren't my ideas, but they are just the way I'd write them, and I love that so so much. There hasn't yet been any major plot twist that just makes me go, "Oh, that is just unnecessary," and makes me stop reading the story. ::sigh:: Happens to me so often, really. And about Final Fantasy VII: I forget to use the directional pad every time I turn it on, and it pisses me off for a while until I realize I'm an idiot. You aren't alone.

**Soul Writer of Dark Truth**: Good luck with your band. Have fun with FFVII. I _really _should finish my game one of these days.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: Heh. Yeah, I work at Hersheypark. Not as fantastic as it sounds, I promise you. You will never find as miserable people as you will at an amusement park. Go figure. Yeah, actually, I really like my take on Leon, too. He's far friendlier toward Sora in the second game, more talkative, even a little playful with Aerith and the others at times, so I wanted to start bringing that out now, especially with the concern he shows for Sora, Donald, and Goofy after the thousand heartless battle. And, um, yeah. The blindfold is on it's way. And he will be facing his shit on his own. Just as soon as Cloud leaves, anyway. Hee.

**-find.me.please-**: I simply love this review. 'Look out Roxas, here comes Riku.' It prompted Cloud's thoughts about Roxas feeling Riku's wrath. T'was funny.

**MordeMe**: You're allowed to be happy no matter how long it's been since it's been posted. Cause it's my story and I say so. There's a little more Cloud/Riku time before he really faces shit on his own, but yeah, we're getting into KHII. And, yeah. ::smile:: Riku will be insanely jealous, and Cloud will be paid in full. Not that the teasing will end, but yeah. With interest, I think, because Riku has amazing abilities to make an ass out of himself.

**Mangled Euphoria**: I've only touched on Roxas a bit here, but I do hope you'll enjoy him. He'll be fun to write, because we all know he's got split personalities between Organization XIII Roxas and Twilight Town Roxas.

**The Glass Slipper**: 2342.81 miles is a lot. Very sad. I did send you a PM so I hope you got it. After reading your reviews I had to go back and reread the chapters. I hadn't thought it was that emotional or heartbreaking. Silly me. I forgot Riku's leaving scene in chapter 43. I even thought, "This is so very sad. It's wonderful," while I was writing it. Your comments always mean a lot to me as I adore your work so very much. I may not write a Leon/Sora, but I will be sure to put it in an upcoming short or something, because they are so fabulous together, too.

**_Big thank you to those who read and didn't review._**

**_Let me know what you think. You can hate it. I won't mind. I'm sure I've heard worse in the past._**


	45. Confrontation

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 045. Fame

**Word Count**: 5,322

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku is on a quest to find and collect the famed Nobody named Roxas. Good luck with that, kiddo.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

**Author's Note**: I humbly apologize on how long it took this to come out. I'm working a lot and I don't have many days off much less get the time to write. Please don't eat my face off/attack me with sporks/carve my eyes out/shoot me/cause me bodily harm in any way.

* * *

**_Step Forty-Five: Confrontation_**

Nobodies. Organization XIII. Roxas. Sora. DiZ. Keyblades. Darkness.

Try as he might, Riku couldn't manage to fit the pieces together in one, coherent whole. DiZ never cleared anything up; instead of providing answers, he only burdened Riku with more questions. Like about this Roxas kid. Where had DiZ heard of him, and why did he have two Keyblades when Sora only had one? Furthermore, why could he wield the Keyblade at all when he was a Nobody, because Nobodies didn't have hearts? According to DiZ (though this concept was somewhat difficult for Riku to wrap his mind around), Nobodies were nothing but the empty shell left after a heart was taken by the Heartless, acting on their own accord, and therefore were nothing at all. They didn't really exist, except that they did because they could think and plan. But they were nothing, because what did exist was an empty void without feeling.

Riku supposed he wasn't esoteric enough for this concept. He'd just have to take DiZ's word for it.

Though now that he touched upon that subject, it really needed to be said that DiZ had (and Riku supposed always would) given him an eerie feeling from the first time they met. He crawled under his skin—brought out an irritation that made him short with his words and unable to control his mouth. It took a great deal of humility for Riku to take DiZ's word for it when Riku wasn't sure if he could trust him.

To make matters worse, while this Nobody business was far above his head (it took a great deal of humility to admit that as well) he still had to track down Roxas. And Roxas was a powerful Nobody. Maybe Riku didn't remember Sora very well or what he looked like, but Riku remembered most of what happened in Castle Oblivion. He remembered Naminé. He remembered the Replica. It would be ages before the fake Destiny Islands and the Organization members in their black cloaks became blurry.

Organization XIII was powerful. Riku wasn't oblivious; he could tell that much. They had powers and abilities Riku didn't know how to start to deal with. He'd almost been drowned by the light. He was almost killed by the big guy with the tomahawk. One of their members made that horrific, torturous replica. He wasn't even going to touch on how very annoying it was that he'd mistaken the meaning when those members of the Organization had referred to themselves as 'nobody.'

What could he expect from the famed Roxas? Especially when—as Riku had just expressed to Cloud over the phone—he feared Roxas might be Sora's Nobody.

A powerful Nobody like the members of Organization XIII was one thing, but a Nobody from the Keyblade master was another. Especially when Riku had repeatedly failed to defeat said Keyblade master on numerous occasions despite all the 'gifts of darkness' Maleficent and Ansem repeatedly infused his heart with. Could Riku actually do this? Defeat this Roxas? After all, he could say it one more time.

Roxas had _two_ Keyblades.

He'd wonder what DiZ was thinking by sending him on this mission, but then he'd have to question himself, and Riku had already wondered too many times what had made him think he could actually succeed. Perhaps it was the desperate need to fill the holes in his memories. More so, he thought he was doing it for Sora more than anything. It wasn't a plea for forgiveness. It wasn't an attempt to make things right. Riku thought, perhaps, he just felt so very awful that Sora had been forgotten by everyone from Leon and Cloud to himself—Sora's very best friend. Just before Sora's disappearance and the forgotten memories, Riku knew he fucked the kid over pretty badly. Throwing himself at the mercy of this Roxas guy was the least he could do.

Riku was scared. He hadn't even met Roxas, and the Nobody already made him feel fear.

Nothing had worked to defeat Sora, and though Riku tried to deny it, he knew the second he faced Roxas he would know it was all true. Roxas was Sora's Nobody. That's why DiZ needed him to wake Sora. That's why Roxas could bear the Keyblade. Above all, that's why Riku had to do this.

His heart seized. He had to do something to win this, but . . .

But just what was he going to have to do to succeed?

-----0-----

The World that Never Was. Organization XIII's stronghold.

Riku thought of nothing else as he traveled farther from Cloud and deeper into the darkness. What kind of place had a name like that? The World that Never Was? It was much like the Nobodies themselves, fitting, but Castle Oblivion had been so awful. It reeked of the darkness defied by the sterile purity of its blinding white interior. If that wasn't their stronghold, he hardly dared to imagine what he could expect upon arrival. As the light grew dim with the knowledge he still walked in the right direction, the anxiety increased.

The phone call from Cloud was one weight off his shoulders. There was a bit of regret in him upon knowing Sephiroth wasn't active and that Riku hadn't been keeping him from anything. He'd have preferred to travel by Gummi instead of these black, dank corridors that weighed down his heart with despair. He'd have liked Cloud to be by his side. His unyielding faith in Riku was both confusing and a great inspiration. At least he wasn't angry, though. At least he understood.

His voice was a comfort itself. It was his voice that first drew him in, and to this day it continued to bring peace when all he felt was turmoil. If Cloud was here, he could quell the anxiety that sat heavy in his body, push away all the hesitation that might be his downfall. More than ever, he knew he had to make things up to him when this was all over—when Organization XIII was defeated. He had to live long enough to do that much.

Riku knew Cloud had more than his fair share of insecurities and problems. He knew that it sometimes kept him from accomplishing things that needed to be done. It covered so many areas of his life from Sephiroth to the little jealousy fit on New Year's Eve. He understood that as long as darkness lingered in Cloud's heart—as long as he continued to use and accept it—Sephiroth would only be strengthened. To Riku, though, Cloud was this invincible pillar of strength and courage. He was a pacifying presence when he needed it most.

It seemed to happen so often that he resisted the urge to call Cloud and cry. He knew Cloud wouldn't mind (he'd probably be happy), but Riku did. Riku minded more than anyone could ever understand. Cloud tried to be there for him and Riku worried. What if Cloud couldn't shut out the darkness because Riku walked within it? Was he holding him back in more ways than one? He couldn't ask Cloud to come with him—not now after he'd already left. Not when his own darkness could be influencing Cloud's. Not when he could be making things worse than they already were.

The light's pull grew fainter. Riku closed his eyes and took a moment, took a breath. He resigned that Cloud was back in Hollow Bastion and Riku might not see him again for a very long time. He resigned that he was a creature of the darkness again. He'd have to fight with darkness to survive in this looming world that grew closer. He'd have to use everything in him when he walked up to Roxas and picked a fight.

When this was all over, he was sleeping with the lights on.

-----0-----

Neon lights cast shadows in this twisting, winding world. There wasn't much of a difference between the corridors of darkness and this place that reeked through his senses. Riku struggled to breathe as he looked upon the towering buildings that cut through the bleak skyline. He felt the darkness in his heart respond and rise to the surface. It course through his veins down to his toes and out to his fingertips. His head felt fuzzy and intoxicated.

Riku's hand fell to his Keyblade. He paused and then spun around, striking out. A Shadow fell to the ground. The Way to the Dawn pulsed in his hand; an uncountable amount of Shadows rose from beneath the ground. Riku readied his weapon as his eyes darted to the side and then fell closed. There were too many. He couldn't see them all. He'd have to rely on his instincts and trust the Keyblade would sense them out as it had with the first.

Riku's arm grew tired as he struck in all directions. These weren't all normal Shadows, either. They were accompanied by the same type he'd fought in Castle Oblivion. Mickey called them Neoshadows, but whatever they were didn't matter. They were more powerful than the ordinary breed—darker at the core. His feet carried him through the masses as both kinds of Shadow fell with every strike. Riku opened his eyes at a third presence—the same kind he'd felt in Hollow Bastion. The beings in the white jumpsuits (Dusks, DiZ called them) joined the mix.

Just as he felt hopeless that the Keyblade would continue to call the Heartless, the Nobodies would keep protecting the Organization, and this would go on forever, the Nobodies disappeared. A wave of darkness chilled his heart and shot down his spine. The Heartless, too, disappeared. A soft clapping sounded from behind and Riku whirled around. A man stood there with long, flowing bluish-silver hair and an 'x' across his forehead and the bridge of his nose. Riku let the Keyblade fall to his side.

"Well done," said the man. "Riku, is it?"

Riku's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah. Who are you and why do you know my name?"

Riku could've sighed at himself. He was always a little short-tempered when he should have proceeded with caution. The man didn't frown, though. He didn't laugh, didn't crack a smile. He didn't even look perturbed. His face remained blank and expressionless. The fury in him grew.

"We've been watching you for some time. Best friend of the Keyblade master. You met some of our numbers in Castle Oblivion. They tried to use you for our efforts."

"I got that you're with the Organization. And I figured they were watching me. I'm not stupid. So what do you want with me now? You still trying to use me?"

"Your presence resonates with our Superior. I knew you were here, and so I came. What is your business here?"

Riku hesitated. He tried to tell himself not to goad.

"I'm looking for Roxas."

There was no glint of surprise in the Nobody's eyes.

"I imagine that you are. The Keyblade master needs to be awoken from his sleep."

"How do you know about that?"

"I think you'll find there isn't much I don't know about."

"What kind of answer is that?"

"An honest one. Do what you will with Roxas. He has betrayed the Organization. We have no further use for him."

Riku searched for a reply, but none came. He watched the man turn and walk away. Riku got the bad feeling that he'd been the one goaded. The impassive face, monotone voice suggested a composure that Riku lacked. He all but invited Riku to use Roxas to awaken Sora. The Nobody didn't seem concerned about Sora's return, and that concerned Riku. Hadn't the Organization tried to use Sora once before?

Riku didn't have time to worry about this. Sora had to be awakened. He pushed aside the hesitation. If the Organization was planning something, he'd deal with that when the time came. Until then . . . Until then he'd have to walk right into the trap unflinching. Things could be fixed and plots intercepted later.

One thing stood out from the brief conversation. Riku was right. He would need Roxas to awaken Sora. Roxas was Sora's Nobody, and the Organization wanted him to know it.

-----0-----

Riku's speculative nature got the better of him as he wandered through the alleyways. The world seemed deserted save for the Heartless, the Organization, and the Nobodies they commanded. He took residence in an abandoned house by the castle Riku figured must be Organization XIII's. Finding Roxas would not happen as quickly as he thought.

Riku stretched out on the bed and stared at the ceiling. That Nobody said his presence resonated with their Superior. Why? Why would Riku's presence resonate with the powerful Nobody leader of Organization XIII? He had thought their only need for him was for the Replica or to pit him against Sora, but they wanted Sora awake. He could wield a Keyblade. That was something, but the Nobody specifically said his presence resonated with the Superior. That it was why he came to speak to Riku. Something about this all seemed very off. The Nobody—the Organization in general—was sly when it came to revealing new information as proved by all those 'nobody' comments in Castle Oblivion. They said what they wanted to be heard, and a few of them lost their temper and revealed more than intended, but this Nobody in particular . . . He was meticulous in his word choices. It was probably that very reason he and not some other member came when his presence was sensed. He wouldn't have said Roxas betrayed the Organization unless he wanted Riku to know it. He wouldn't have told him that his presence resonated with their Superior.

Riku shook his head. He was overanalyzing. All that Nobody wanted to do was rile him up so that when he met up with Roxas, he'd take it out on him. They just wanted to use Sora somehow. Riku wasn't going to let that happen. Once Sora was awake, Riku would do everything he could to help finish off the Organization and that was it. He'd worry about the piece of Ansem in his heart later.

He stared at the ceiling for several more minutes before he reached over the side of the bed, grabbed his phone, and called Cloud. He answered on the first ring.

"Hey," said Cloud.

His voice—as expected—cut through the sinking in his heart. Riku snorted.

"What were you doing? Sitting on the phone waiting for me to call? You never answer so fast."

"Oh . . . yeah, well, I had it close by."

"It's really noisy on your end. What's going on?"

Cloud paused.

"Oh . . . eh, I'm helping Cid at his garage."

Riku nodded. He smiled.

"I thought it sounded like a Gummi. How is Cid?"

"Good. Leon, too. Everyone's good. They're all ready to kick your ass for taking off without saying goodbye, but they're also saying that it's expected since you're my boyfriend and I do this kind of shit all the time."

"Oh, great. I'm getting a bad reputation because of you, huh?"

"Yeah, but you proved them right on your own."

"Touché."

"So what's up? You find Roxas yet?"

"No. I just wanted to call to let you know I made it. The place is absolutely horrible. Can't walk two feet without five million Heartless trying to eat my soul, but I made it. I'm okay."

"Be careful, all right?"

"Yeah. I just . . . yeah. Wanted to hear your voice. Tell you that I love you before I go to sleep. I'm exhausted."

"Have you slept since you left?"

"In corridors of darkness? You crazy?"

"You've been awake for two days now?"

"Has it been two whole days?"

"Yeah."

"Then yes. I haven't slept since I was with you last."

"Get some rest, Ri. You're going to need it against Roxas. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I don't want to stop talking to you."

"I will hang up on you. You have to sleep."

"I miss you."

Riku heard Cloud pause on the other end. His face came to mind, smiling, and Riku grinned.

"I miss you, too."

"I miss your arms."

"I miss your lips."

"Horny bastard. You just miss my ass."

Cloud laughed.

"Maybe."

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Get some sleep. Take care of yourself."

"Yeah, I will."

"Love you."

"Love you, too. Night."

"Goodnight."

-----0-----

Despite the exhaustion Riku spent most of the night in and out of sleep. Nightmares plagued the dormant periods—nightmares of the realm of darkness, the Heartless, Ansem. He woke in fits, sweaty hyperventilating, and he'd only grasp at fistfuls of dirty sheets until he realized where he was. Cloud—the solace he sought—was not there. He lay down again and tried to steady his breathing, willing away the panic coursing through his veins and the heavy thump of his heart. He tried to imagine away the dense fog of darkness over this world. He tried to replace it with the lingering sound of Cloud's voice in his head and the barrier of Cloud's arms around him.

He reminded himself that his would pass. He put himself in this situation. He owed it to Sora.

The sun never rose. Riku supposed that maybe it never did in the World That Never Was. It was like the corridors of darkness. Night. Day. None of that mattered where dark swallowed the light.

These intervals of wakefulness paired with sleep deprivation were maddening. When Riku started to think along such tangents he rolled out of the bed, pocketed his phone, and grabbed the Way to the Dawn. There was no comfort here; he would achieve no rest. There was, however, a famed and elusive Nobody to track down. Riku would be damned if he wasted away this time at the mercy of his tired body's rebellion. Not when he had such an important task to accomplish and had come so far already.

Riku pulled several times at the door. It released a loud creak in protest as the warped, weathered wood broke free of the jamb and the door swung open. He stepped out, Keyblade at the ready. He wasn't so exhausted that he'd forget about the Heartless problem around here. It still continued to amaze him that the swarm didn't come inside when he attempted to sleep. He supposed that maybe it had something to do with the Keyblade being out of his hands so maybe his heart didn't resonate or call out to the Heartless. Maybe the Keyblade just knew its wielder needed rest. Riku didn't pretend to understand. He wondered if Sora, too, had trouble with sleep.

Sora. Riku tried to recall his face, his scent, anything other than a name as he fought his way through the city. Riku thought he had a cheerful demeanor and one of those smiles that can brighten a room without trying. He thought Sora had one of those loud open laughs that could break through his deepest depressions. It was all fuzzy, though. He couldn't recall, couldn't be certain. He thought he loved Sora once, and another wave of guilt washed upon him.

Riku had one more than one occasion dampened the sunshine that followed Sora everywhere he went. He'd caused Sora a great deal of both trouble and stress. He's been taunting, mean. Sora was friends with Cloud and Leon, and he'd been fighting with Sora—asked them to lie for him. Lie to this boy that Riku thought was probably sweet and pure. The kind of boy you just shouldn't lie to because it would break his heart. Riku knew at the very least that he'd been a more terrible friend than he could remember.

He wished he could stop tormenting himself like this. Distraction was the last thing he needed on top of the exhaustion.

"Who are you?"

Riku stilled as the Nobodies around him vanished. He turned, expecting perhaps the man with the 'x' across his face again, but it was a boy. Blond hair, short in stature with a hardened expression that didn't fit with his rounded, childish features. For an instant the image almost morphed. Chestnut brown spikes replaced the blond. The blue eyes brightened.

"Sora . . ."

"I don't know who you think you are, but my name isn't Sora. Who are you and what are you doing here?"

Riku stared for a second. He tried to suppress the elation at finally having a face to a name.

"So you're Roxas, huh?"

Roxas's eyes formed into slits. He took a step back and both hands grasped at the handles of what Riku recognized as Oathkeeper and Oblivion.

"How do you know my name? Who are you?"

Riku took a deep breath. He could feel the defensive aura radiate from this boy as it ran over his skin like pinpricks.

"I don't want to fight you. My name's Riku. I've been looking for you."

"Why?"

"I . . ." Riku hesitated. He thought the best approach with Sora might have been honesty. Taking the defense himself and pushing too hard had started this mess in the first place. He hoped the Nobody would be the same. "Have you ever wondered why you can wield the Keyblade?"

The statement hung in the air for a few seconds. Roxas lowered his weapons. Intrigue read in his eyes, but his face remained hardened.

"What do you know about it?"

"You know that you're a Nobody, don't you?"

Roxas's eyes darkened.

"What does it matter?"

"You're the Nobody of the Keyblade master. His name is Sora. That's why you can bear the Keyblade. But you aren't like the others. You weren't created when your true self lost his heart to the Heartless. Sora sacrificed his heart, but he was able to regain it. That's why I'm looking for you."

"My 'true self'?" Roxas scoffed. "I'm my 'true self,' as you call it. And so what if I'm what's left of the Keyblade master? What do you want with me?"

Riku's heart sank as Roxas's eyes became clouded again.

"Sora regained his heart, but he isn't complete. He had his memories modified, and now they're being set right so he can continue fighting the Heartless, but he won't awaken as long as you're still separated."

"Separated."

"You can be whole again. You don't have to be a Nobody."

For a second, there seemed to be a light of registration in Roxas's eyes. He lips curled.

"I hope you're not asking me to go away or disappear back into this Keyblade master kid, because if you were, it's not going to happen."

"Why not? You and Sora are the same person. You'd be one again."

"Whole. One. Same person." Roxas laughed in a way that held no mirth or joy. It was a sinister kind of sound that made Riku's skin crawl. "You're an idiot, aren't you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You seem to be under the impression that I'd blindly believe everything you were telling me. Even if it _were_ the truth I still wouldn't be interested. Maybe I used to be this Sora kid, but I'm me now. I'm me and no one else. I'm not going to go away so you can sleep better at night knowing you helped the precious Keyblade master."

"But you owe it to him!"

Riku knew it was the wrong thing to say the second Oblivion sank into his stomach.

It was unlike any battle he'd ever fought before—against Sora or anyone else. Roxas swung the Keyblades with a skill and grace that Sora had never fully possessed. He was short tempered. Anything Riku tried to say to calm him only made the attacks come harder, stronger. Riku tried to collect himself, focused on his defense and the objective to not get killed. The Way to the Dawn pulsed rapidly in his hands. He had to throw him off-guard. The only way to get this boy back to Sora was to defeat him. DiZ said he was needed. Riku needed to have faith in that.

"Come on, Sora. You can do better than that."

"Shut up."

Riku wheezed as he parried the Oathkeeper and took a step back. He wriggled his toes, tried to keep his balance. He landed a few blows on Roxas, but he was unfazed. Riku's side felt as if it were splitting in two.

"You're pathetic," said Roxas. "Why don't you just give up? Then I won't have to kill you."

"Not a chance."

Riku wasn't fast enough. Oblivion connected to his hip.

"I'm stronger than you, I'm better than you, and you're going to fail. Give up!"

Riku extended his arm and blocked the Oathkeeper from his head. Oblivion got him in the other side.

The pain was blinding. Riku gritted his teeth as he tried to stay on his feet. He heard Roxas taunt that Riku was half-dead. He heard the words mercy and pitiful. The darkness in his heart, the part of Ansem locked away throbbed—the off-beat to his Keyblade's pulse. His body was already on the brink of collapsing. It wasn't supposed to go this way.

Desperation filled him as he heard a sickening crack and a sharp, stronger pain shot through his wrist up to his elbow. Riku cried out as his Keyblade clanged against the ground.

"Give up already," said Roxas. "I don't have time for you or your sad little attempts to talk me into giving up my life for someone I don't care about. Tell whoever sent you that it isn't going to happen. Now get out of here or I won't think twice about ending your life. Got it?"

Riku tried to struggle to his feet. Roxas laughed. It sounded hollow.

"You have a broken wrist. You can't fight. I don't know whether to dismiss you as a moron or be impressed."

"Impressed," said Riku.

He felt a surge through his body. Riku dropped his head and shut his eyes. The pain began to disappear a little. His wrist burned for a few seconds, and then it was gone. He rotated it for a second, flexed his fingers, and looked up. Roxas's sneer fell and he took a step back.

"What . . ."

It shot straight from his heart, down his arm, and then a Dark Aura flew from his fingertips, flinging Roxas against the concrete stairs of a nearby building. Riku straightened.

"You didn't think I'd go down that easily, did you?" said Riku. Roxas struggled to his feet. "You're Sora. Those aren't even your Keyblades; they're his. You aren't supposed to exist. You're a Nobody, and you aren't even half as good as Sora was. You don't deserve a life. All those other Nobodies don't have the chance to become one with their hearts again, but you do so you should just take the opportunity. You're just a Nobody. You're a mistake. Got it?"

Riku punctuated the message with Dark Fiagra, but Roxas moved out of the way.

"Shut up! Don't talk about what you don't understand," said Roxas.

"I think you're the one who doesn't understand."

"I'm me. I'm not going to get blinked out of existence."

"You don't even have a real existence. You aren't real."

Oathkeeper and Oblivion both connected with his head but Riku felt no pain as he sent another Dark Aura at Roxas.

"Even if I'm not real, it's better than whatever the hell happened to you."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Roxas smiled and lowered his Keyblades.

"You're just a creature of the darkness, aren't you? You've been possessed. Maybe you aren't a Nobody, but you may as well be. What did you think? That helping the Keyblade master would atone for your sins? It won't. Nothing ever will."

Riku moved to defend as Roxas lifted the Oathkeeper, but he didn't attack. Only held the Keyblade out and then Riku saw it. His eyes reflected back in the metal—bloodshot, orange eyes that didn't belong to him, but to . . . The surge in his heart. The dark powers. Ansem. Riku's heart seized. He'd let go of himself.

Roxas dropped the Keyblade to his side, smug smirk still in place. He took a step forward, and when Riku didn't attack he took another.

"Give up, why don't you? I'd hate if you killed yourself before I got the chance," said Roxas.

He regarded Riku for a moment before he passed leaving him alone, breathing heavy. Riku stared around the space before picking up the Way to the Dawn. He glanced back; saw Roxas watching him as he strolled away. Hints of the smirk continued to curl the corners of his lips. Riku paused for a moment and then he ran as fast as his legs would take him back to the alleyway and into the small house.

-----0-----

Tears streaked down his face cutting through the soiled skin leaving clean tracks across his cheeks. Riku stared in the dingy mirror, touching his face, his eyelashes. He looked exactly the same as he had before save for his eyes. His eyes were Ansem-orange, glaring back at him, looking through him. The piece in his heart felt wild, unbridled. He had to get control. His fingers curled around the brown-stained porcelain of the sink. His knuckled grew whiter the tighter he held on.

So many conflicting emotions. So many conflicting thoughts. Nothing would follow in a linear thought.

Roxas. He was losing. Roxas was fierce and Riku was losing. Roxas broke his wrist and Riku had . . .Riku had released a little of that darkness, he thought. Released just enough to use Dark Aura and repair his wrist. It was enough to turn his eyes this hideous color, but it was enough to save his life.

Sora. He failed Sora. He might never awaken now because Riku was weak. Riku was pathetic. It wasn't only that he was no match for Roxas and his two Keyblades. He had let the darkness save his life, and in doing so . . .

Riku stared in the mirror. Back in the other room his phone went off. Had to be Cloud. No one else ever called him. Riku shook his head and stared in the basin. He couldn't talk to Cloud. Not like this. Cloud had been worried. Told him to take care of himself. Worried so much about him as was, and Riku put him through so much already. This was just . . .

The phone rang a second time. Riku took a breath. The urge to hear Cloud's voice overpowered the shame for a moment. It wasn't like he had to tell him just yet, right? He could just . . . He could say he hadn't seen Roxas yet. This had to be fixable. Maybe he could just pretend like everything was fine and just _fix_ this before Cloud ever found out.

Riku padded into the entrance room, grabbed his phone, and flipped it open.

"Hey . . . Sorry, I was . . ."

Riku sighed and rubbed at his face. The sound of the door creaking cut through his thoughts and he allowed the phone to drop, his reflexes still racing as he snatched his Keyblade from the floor and turned. His eyes connected with Cloud's.

"What the . . ."

Cloud's phone dropped to the floor. Riku stared for a few seconds, let his weapon drop, and collapsed on the floor in tears. Cloud was beside him within seconds, and instead of yelling questions or demanding to know what the hell was going on, he stroked the back of Riku's head, his voice soft.

"It's going to be okay," said Cloud.

Riku shook his head.

"I'm so sorry."

* * *

**_Ahem . . ._**

**_Hi!_**

**_::ducks behind rock as lots of rubbish comes flying from incensed readers::_**

**_Okay, now that that's out of the way . . ._**

**_I'm working. That's where I've been. Working a lot. I have fifty-eight hours this week. Already worked thirty three so I still have twenty-six to go. In two days. I'm looking into a new job lifeguarding. "Hersheypark Happy" is turning into Hersheypark I'd Like To Shoot Myself In The Head._**

**_I really am sorry. Trust me. I'd rather be writing._**

**_I've decided not to reply to any reviews because it takes me about forty minutes and I'd rather just give you the chapter. So we'll all talk again soon. I would, however, like to thank you all for being so concerned/patient/threatening, apologize to my personal secretary, and welcome all new readers._**

**_If you want to get ahold of me, PM me. I will get it. Or contact me at my Myspace. I'm fairly easy to internet stalk._**

**_Love you all. My undying gratitude,_**

**_-December_**


	46. Truths and Lies

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 046. Eyes

**Word Count**: 3,389

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku's eyes can't lie, but neither can Cloud's.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

**Author's Note**: I humbly apologize for leaving you all with the same horrible cliffhanger not once, but twice. What kind of sadistic person does something like that? I guess it's me. But if you'll reference to the theme and read on I hope you will understand why. I've been so looking forward to this juncture in Cloud and Riku's relationship. I'm beside myself with glee.

* * *

**_Step Forty-Six: Truths and Lies_**

Questions raced through Cloud's mind at a speed too fast to translate them into words. Riku's eyes were orange. Bloodshot red-orange. And now he was sobbing on the ground, curled, and all Cloud could do was bite his tongue. This wasn't the time for a "What the hell is going on?" At least not yet. Cloud figured it had something to do with his encounter with the infamous Roxas, but . . .

"It's going to be okay," said Cloud. He dropped his voice, tone soft, and rubbed Riku's arm with one hand as he clutched his shaking body with the other. "It's all right."

"Why are you here?" said Riku through the sobs. "I left so I wouldn't drag you into this. Why did you come? How did you . . ."

"Riku, look at you. You're a mess. Just calm down, okay? Everything's going to be all right."

"Why did you come?"

"Because I didn't want you to go through this alone."

The statement hung in the air. Riku choked on his tears. His shoulders continued to shake under Cloud's grip, but the awful cries started to quiet and fade into soft hiccups. Cloud held his breath and waited.

"I didn't want to drag you into this. How did you find me?"

"You told me where you were going and where it was. Did you really think I'd let you do this all by yourself?"

"I have to do it by myself. I don't need your help. I don't want you here." Riku's voice broke off and he pitched forward, burying his face into Cloud's chest. His hands gripped at his shoulders. "I didn't want you to see me like this."

Cloud stiffened, released a long sigh, and brought a hand to stroke the back of Riku's head.

"I know you have to do this by yourself, babe. I know. But that doesn't mean that I can't be here to support you."

Riku shook his head. His grip tightened.

"I don't need help. I can do it on my own. I can . . ."

"I know. I know you can. But you shouldn't have to. I want to be here with you. It doesn't always have to be you coming to me, you know."

"There's nothing you can do."

"I'm doing something right now. You can take care of Roxas, and I can hold you when you cry."

Riku had grown quite a bit more than Cloud realized before. At least that's what he noticed the more Riku clutched to him as if trying to bury himself within. Cloud shifted and braced Riku's body against his thighs. Riku's breath hitched.

"I can't take care of Roxas. I . . . I already tried, and . . ."

"I know, babe. I know."

"What do you mean that you know?"

"I had the displeasure of meeting your good friend Roxas while I was looking for you. He's the one who pointed me down this alleyway. Your phone did the rest. Though if you're still really ticked off about me being here you can blame King Mickey because he's the one who told me how to get here."

"He told you . . .?"

"Can't land a Gummi here. Had to stop off in Twilight Town and travel through your corridors of darkness. That shit sucks. I don't know how you do it all the time. You deserve more credit for holding onto your heart than you get."

"You went through corridors of darkness for me?"

"Yeah, so you better stop crying and tell me what happened."

"Don't be mean to me."

"Riku, what happened?"

"I couldn't beat him. I couldn't . . . I failed."

"Riku . . ."

Cloud eased Riku's grip off his shoulders and shifted their bodies so that they both sat on the floor, legs intertwined. Riku sat between his legs, hip pressed against Cloud's abdomen. He wrapped his left arm around Riku's back and gently grabbed his chin with the other, directing his face toward Cloud's.

"Riku, come on. Look at me. Tell me what happened."

Riku's face scrunched up and he shook his head again.

"No. I can't."

"Yes, you can. Come on."

"No."

"Riku, come on. Make me understand."

Riku face screwed up again and then relaxed. He released a strangled sigh and slowly his eyelids fluttered open. Cloud didn't know what he'd expected, but nothing happened other than he now stared into orange eyes that were once aquamarine. He took a breath, gulped, and moved his hand to stroke his thumb along Riku's cheek.

"What happened?" he asked again. Riku swallowed.

"I found Roxas. I fought him. I lost."

"I gathered that much. I'm looking for details."

Riku hesitated, looked away for a moment, and then stared at the ground. He picked at his jeans.

"I don't . . . I met this guy yesterday. One of the Organization guys. It was . . ."

"Does this have something do with Roxas?"

"I don't know. Maybe. He was really weird. The Organization . . . the way they speak, and this guy especially . . . They only tell you what they want you to know. He said my scent is similar to their Superior's. And when I told him I was looking for Roxas, he told me to do whatever I wanted with him because he betrayed the Organization. He knew about Sora being asleep. He didn't say it in so many words, but he confirmed the Nobody thing."

"So Roxas is Sora's Nobody?"

"Yeah. And . . . And I don't . . ." Riku sighed. "I didn't need him to tell me, you know? I knew the second I saw him. He looks just like him except the hair. It was the first time I remember what Sora looks like."

Cloud nodded.

"So what happened? Did you get straight to fighting? Try to knock him unconscious so you drag him back to DiZ?"

"No. I . . . I tried talking to him. I told him about Sora, but Roxas has got a really short fuse. Completely blew up at me. I mean . . . I don't know. I guess he kind of has a right to. I know DiZ says the Nobodies don't really exist. They don't have feelings but this Roxas kid got so mad. I don't really blame him. I'm kind of asking him to give up his life for Sora, but he was Sora once. He's just separated now. But he attacked me, and he's . . . He's really powerful. I think he really was going to kill me.

"I got a few hits on him but it was like he didn't even feel them. He's got two Keyblades. I'm just not . . . I couldn't beat Sora, and I can't beat his Nobody, either. I knew it was going to happen. I was so afraid of this happening, but I didn't think this . . ." Riku covered his eyes with his hands. "I didn't think . . ."

Cloud rubbed Riku's back.

"It's okay, babe. Take your time."

Riku huffed.

"I was in so much pain. I couldn't defend myself. And then he broke my wrist. I could actually hear my bone break, and it hurt so bad, and it was the same hand I use to fight. I couldn't hold onto my Keyblade. I couldn't defend myself. I couldn't fight. I was so afraid I was going to die and I didn't really think about it. I just knew I had to do something to hold him off long enough to get out of there. So I opened up the darkness in my heart just a little. Just enough to defend myself. Just enough to fix my wrist so I could still fight."

The words started to register. Cloud took a deep breath.

"I threw a Dark Aura at him," Riku continued. "I felt it, too. I felt the darkness shoot through me, and I just started flinging attacks at him. I lost my temper, and he . . . That must have been when this happened." Riku motioned to his face. "Roxas commented on it, and I didn't know what he was talking about until I saw my reflection in his Keyblade. I just let him walk away. I didn't even try to stop him. I just let him walk away and I ran back here. I failed and now . . ."

Cloud nodded.

"So you released a little Ansem to defend yourself, heal your wound, and your eyes . . ."

"Yeah."

"Were Ansem's eyes orange like that?"

Riku breath hitched. He nodded.

"Yeah."

"So when you released that little bit you took on some of his abilities?"

"Yeah. I just . . . What if I had released more? What would happen to me? What if I can't beat Roxas without it? Would I . . . ?"

"Would you turn into him again?"

Riku nodded.

"Would he take over me again like before? Would I go back to the realm of darkness?"

Cloud shook his head.

"I don't know, babe. What did you feel like where you fighting him? Did you lose control of yourself at all?"

"No. I just . . . I could just do stuff I couldn't before."

"Then I'd say that you wouldn't go back to the realm of darkness, but I think the more you release . . . You said . . . When Sora defeated him . . . He was in your body, wasn't he?"

Riku's eyes widened, He shot up.

"What . . . Does that mean . . .?"

"That's why that piece is in your heart, right? You beat him, but it came along with your body because he'd possessed you and Sora killed him in your body, right?" Riku nodded. "So maybe Ansem is really gone but that piece is part of his darkness. Part of his power. And if you open it up, your body takes on that appearance because . . ."

"Because that's the appearance it had with those powers. When it was returned to me," Riku finished. "So if I opened it up and had to use it I wouldn't lose my heart? I'd just . . ." Riku hunched over again. "Yeah, that's really just as bad."

Cloud laughed and smoothed his hand over Riku's forehead, across his hairline.

"It's just aesthetics, babe. I love you for who you are, not how you look. And once you defeat the darkness in you it'll all go away. Your heart will be all yours again. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Your eyes just can't lie."

"What?"

"Your eyes can't lie."

"What does that mean?"

Cloud chuckled.

"Your eyes give away the darkness that's still inside you."

"That's very tragically poetic."

"Yeah, that's what I thought when Zack said it, too."

Riku lifted his head.

"Zack said it? Your . . . your Zack?"

Cloud's expression softened. He sighed.

"You want to know what the deal was with me and SOLDIER, right?"

"Yeah . . . What does that have to do with anything?"

"Mako. My eyes can't lie, either."

Riku shifted his position to face Cloud. He frowned.

"What do you mean? What's mako?"

"Mako is the main source of energy on Gaia. You know about the Lifestream?"

Riku huffed.

"I don't really understand any of this."

"It's okay. The Lifestream is the planet's life. Its blood, I guess you could say. Gaia can't exist without it. And mako is a refined form of the Lifestream. Shinra harvested the mako and used it to power the planet, which is what everyone in AVALANCHE were so pissed off about. Shinra was, essentially, killing the planet.

"My eyes weren't always this exact color. I mean, they were always blue, but prolonged exposure to mako creates a glow in the eyes. They're called 'mako eyes' and defined as the 'mark of a SOLDIER.' Overexposure to mako can get really nasty, too. We're talking genetic mutations, death . . . but exposure to mako can make you more powerful, and as a rule all SOLDIERS are exposed to mako for that very purpose."

"That sounds really dangerous."

Cloud nodded. He chuckled a little.

"It is. I wasn't exposed to it until after I'd already let the darkness in and made SOLDIER. Leon told you about when I fought Sephiroth the first time, right? After he killed all those people . . ."

"And almost killed Tifa and Zack. Yeah."

"And he told you about the Shinra scientists holding me, Zack, and Sephiroth for experiments?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. So you know that this was when they realized the darkness had empowered me so they used it on Sephiroth, but what Leon probably doesn't know . . ." Cloud paused. "I've only ever told Aerith about this before. I think Tifa expects, but I never told her."

Riku bit his lip and nodded.

"I don't exactly remember what happened because of that time, but . . . Did Leon tell you about Jenova?"

"You did. First month on the Gummi. Big calamity from the sky that was going to destroy the world, but the Shinra idiots thought it was some sort of Ancient that'd lead them to the Promised Land."

"And the Shinra idiots think the Promised Land is full of mako, but anyway . . . Sephiroth was injected with Jenova cells when he was still in the womb. He was the test baby—the first. One of their brilliant plots to make people more powerful, but it's what ultimately made Sephiroth so insane. It's also why he's so difficult to defeat. I can kill him where Sora can't because while they were injecting him with my darkness, they were injecting me with Jenova cells—'The Sephiroth Gene' as they call it. They did it to Zack, too.

"Now I would've been fine, probably just as alert as Zack was, but they were having a great time playing around with me. And like I said before, overexposure to mako can get nasty, and when Zack broke us out of there I was so out of my mind because I had mako poisoning at the time. Mako poisoning causes your mind to become completely flooded with memories so you can't perceive your surroundings or anything else. I was so completely delirious that I didn't remember anything about Zack dying when I finally got over it. I woke up with Tifa's tits in my face and the rest of AVALANCHE around me believing that I was a mercenary and Zack. I mean, I knew my name, but I thought Zack's life had been mine while working for SOLDIER."

Riku snorted.

"You laugh, but it was bad. Sometime while we were fighting Shinra and Sephiroth after that I got it again. That's why I remember what happened now. Zack literally dragged me across the planet. Got it into his head that we should become mercenaries when we got to Midgar—that's where I got that brilliant idea—but he told me that we needed to be careful because Shinra would be after us. He said it's hard to blend it when you're a former SOLDIER and being chased after because our eyes can't lie."

"Mako eyes."

"Exactly."

"You don't have luck with that mako, do you?"

Cloud rolled his eyes.

"Oh, yeah. We know each other better than I'd like."

"So that's why your eyes are so shiny."

"You're a brat. So . . . yeah. That's what happened. Shinra caught up with us, killed Zack, and left me for dead. I wandered around in my delirium, collapsed in front of Tifa, and the rest is history. So if it makes you feel any better about your Ansem eyes, at least your story isn't quite as ridiculous as mine."

Riku hung his head.

"I just . . . I just can't stand to look at myself like this."

Cloud nodded.

"I've been there. Every time I look in a mirror I think about it. I think about Shinra, the experiments, Sephiroth, Zack . . . Yours is going to go away. Mine are going to be with me for the rest of my life."

"You never got over him, did you?"

Cloud's face softened. He nodded.

"Yeah, I did."

Riku smiled a little, inched forward, and rested his head against Cloud's shoulder.

"I love you. I just . . . I just wish this hadn't happened."

Cloud bit his lip and held up a finger.

"One sec. Let me up."

Riku moved aside and Cloud got to his feet. He crossed back to the entrance where he'd left his bag and phone, flipped the phone closed, and unzipped the bag. He rifled around for a bit and then tossed a long, black garment to Riku.

"First of all, you're going to need that wandering around this place."

Riku frowned. He unfolded the garment and smiled.

"It's my Organization cloak. You brought it for me?"

"I brought that sexy little outfit of yours from the club, too. I figured that maybe we could play."

"Cloud, you are not fucking me with my eyes like this."

"Then you better get rid of that Ansem part real fast or learn to deal with it because if you think I'm not having sex with you over something like orange eyes you are out of your mind."

"Hey, you can't blame me. It was you who had to come back after me because you couldn't stop thinking about my eyes. They were your favorite thing about me."

Cloud looked up and smiled.

"You remember that?"

"Yeah."

"Riku, I do love your eyes. I love your eyes because I can read every emotion you feel in them. I love that about you. And just because they're orange right now doesn't make it any different. It's just kind of unexpected. Here."

"What?"

"Turn around."

Riku turned and faced the other way. Cloud took a long, thin piece of black material, wrapped it around Riku's eyes, and knotted it at the back.

"Did you just blindfold me?"

Cloud grabbed Riku by the shoulders and turned him around. He slid the blindfold up to his forehead, exposing his eyes to the light again.

"Now you won't have to worry about it. You won't have to look at it."

"How am I going to see?"

"You travel through corridors of darkness all the time. You can't see a damn thing in those. Don't tell me that you can't sense your way around blindfolded."

Riku shrugged.

"I actually do better with my eyes closed."

"Then that's how you're going to fight Roxas again. And you won't have to worry about me looking at the orange eyes."

Riku frowned.

"Cloud?"

"Hm?"

"Why the hell did you bring a blindfold? Where did you even get a blindfold?"

"I told you; I thought we could play. And you'd be surprised what Leon's hiding in his room. His penchant for leather seems to extend beyond the range of apparel."

Riku snorted.

"I'm somehow unsurprised."

"That makes two of us."

Riku reached up and fingered the edges of the blindfold bound securely around his forehead.

"Aren't I kind of . . . I don't know . . . lying to myself?"

Cloud sighed and shrugged.

"Sometimes it's all you can do not to lose your mind."

Riku nodded, pulled the material over his eyes, and stepped forward. Cloud reached out and pulled Riku to him.

"I do kind of like this blindfold thing. I feel you more," said Riku. His breath was hot on Cloud's cheek as he stepped closer and nuzzled his nose against Cloud's skin. Cloud wrapped his arms around Riku and held him against his chest. "You feel warm. I'm so cold here."

"Did you get that sleep?"

"I couldn't sleep. Nightmares. The darkness. I wanted you."

"Well I'm here now. Is there a bed here?"

"Up the stairs."

"Then let's get you into bed. I'll take the Keyblade for you. Keep it on the other side of the room. Don't want the Heartless ruining a much-needed rest."

"I'd be so lost without you."

"Everything's going to be okay. All right?"

Riku nodded.

"Okay. I trust you."

* * *

**_Another little present for y'all today. I was so excited to write it I'm only getting an hour of sleep, but hey, I don't have to work. Just play._**

**_Have a good day everyone. Drop me a review if you're feeling kind._**


	47. Schadenfreude

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 047. Embarrassment

**Word Count**: 3,172

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku can't see a thing, and it doesn't entirely have to do with that blindfold. Cloud attempts to shed some light for him.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

_**Step Forty-Seven: Schadenfreude**_

A dry sting burned Riku's eyes as he lay on his side in the tattered bed. He stared into the dark material of the blindfold, blinked a few times, and closed his eyes. After a few moments of stillness, he slid his fingers under the material and rubbed a thumb across his eyelids. He readjusted the blindfold and yawned.

"Stop it," said Cloud. His voice was soft with the hint of a chuckle as it floated across the room. The bed sank behind him under Cloud's weight, and then a strong, muscled arm wrapped around his stomach. "You need rest. Stop fighting it. I know you've got to be exhausted."

"I can't get comfortable."

"Everything's going to be all right."

"I know. I'm just restless."

"You're restless because you're worried and stressed out. I promise you that everything will be all right."

Riku sighed. He placed his hand over the arm around his waist and squeezed.

"I know. You're here."

"Oh, I see. So now you're glad I'm here."

"Shut up. I was glad before; I just . . ."

"Didn't want me to see you like this."

"Yeah."

"I hope you know how stupid that is. I mean, really, what did you think would happen?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought you'd be disappointed. Uncomfortable with me. Angry that I let some of Ansem out. Upset that I'm going through all this for Sora."

"You need to do what you have to do for Sora's sake. I get that."

"He's my best friend and I've completely fucked him over. I owe him this much."

"I know. I get it. It's not like I feel in competition with Sora. I don't even think you're being stupid enough to try and sacrifice yourself again. I think you feel a moral obligation to do this for you just as much as him, and if the only way to fulfill that obligation is to let Ansem out, then you have to do it."

"But what if I can't do it yet? What if I have to let it out completely?"

"We'll deal with that if it comes. Until then, you need your rest. Stop worrying so much, at least for tonight. I already promised you that everything would be all right. I am here, and I'm not letting you go back into this on your own."

"You're not going to help me fight Roxas."

"No, I'm not, but I'm here for you. I'm glad I came. I wouldn't want you to hide from me."

"You seriously aren't uncomfortable with this?"

"Sure I am. In the same way I've been uncomfortable about your involvement with the darkness before. I worry for you every day because I get scared that I might lose you, but otherwise . . ." Cloud sighed; Riku huffed. "You're still my Riku no matter what happens is what I'm trying to say. That's what matters."

"It's humiliating."

"What? The eyes?"

"Yes."

Cloud smoothed a hand over Riku's hair; his nose pressed against the back of Riku's head.

"You never have to feel embarrassed with me. About anything. I love you and nothing's going to change that."

"I know, and I love you, too, I just . . . I feel like such a burden. I have for a long time. I feel like I'm doing the same screwed up shit over and over again, and I just keep dragging you down with me."

"Life is like that. We've all got our bad habits and insecurities. You tend to be very stubborn. You're very proud. When you put the two together . . ."

Cloud paused. Riku squirmed, breath bated for what would follow.

"That bad, huh?"

"You end up hiding. You hide from the people you love so that they can't see you broken. Whether you're running away or putting up a cocky front."

"You calling me cocky?"

"In more ways than one. And I didn't say you are cocky; you use it as a defense mechanism."

"You make me sound horrible."

"Not horrible. You just get insecure sometimes and don't want people to see you vulnerable. You're fairly confident and self-assured most of the time. And not in an obnoxious way, either . . ."

"You didn't see me on Destiny Islands. I was pretty obnoxious then."

"Riku, what you need to understand is that the darkness reached you when you opened that door to Destiny Islands, but you were going down the path long before. You were pulling away. You were trying to hide who you are. You let your insecurities get the better of you."

"You're one to talk."

"Oh, yeah, I know. I do it, too. I do it all the time. I still haven't told Tifa or Leon about the Jenova cells. I pretend that I don't still feel awful about leaving all the time. I feel like I ruin everyone I know and that it's only a matter of time before I drag you down, too.

"I feel like a failure for not killing Sephiroth. I feel like a bad friend to Leon for leaving him on Midgar and now putting him through our drama. I think I'm responsible for Zack's death because he might still be alive if he hadn't brought me along on his escape. I've been terrible to Aerith because she's so supporting, but I can't seem to open up. I feel like a bad boyfriend to you because I can't do anything other than hold you. Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm keeping you from your light. It took until now for me to tell you about my past."

Riku shook his head and frowned.

"You're such an idiot. You've been great for me. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I wouldn't make it through this without you. Having you in my life is what keeps my hope going."

Cloud laughed.

"Now I'm embarrassed."

"No, really; I mean it. You're so amazingly strong. I wish I could be more like you."

"What? Brooding and emo?"

"Oh, shut up. I know you've got your insecurities, too, but you handle it so much better than I do. Sure, you push people away, but while you're doing that, I'm putting them down and losing my temper. Your friends—hell, people who don't even know you very well—know that you think you're protecting them. I make them hate me until I'm all alone."

"We all have our battles."

"No, I just . . . I'm afraid of what happens if you beat Sephiroth and I'm still in the darkness. I'm afraid of losing you. You know, you're afraid of me dying, but I'm afraid of you coming to your senses. I'm so much younger than you that I'm still waiting for you to stay I'm being immature. I feel bad about all the things I've done all the time. I hate that when you told your friends about me—Leon especially—you had to tell them all that horrible stuff. I hate that when I was missing, you had to tell them I was taken by the Heartless because I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry you had to lie to Sora for me because I was too defensive. I'm sorry I'm not someone you can be more proud of."

Riku's heart pounded as the confession spilled from his lips. He was thankful for the blindfold; he doubted he'd be able to say all this looking Cloud in the eyes. His words spilled forth and Riku wished he could do anything to take them back, stop them—something to make this moment disappear.

"I'm just sorry you have to be here," said Riku before Cloud could speak. Before he could say anything to make this day worse than it already was. "I'm sorry you feel you can't let me go through this alone. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough without the darkness. I'm sorry I'm nothing special. I'm sorry about my eyes."

The arm around his body tightened. Riku felt Cloud's lips press against his cheek.

"You done?"

Riku huffed.

"Cloud . . ."

"That was a lot of apologies."

"Please don't . . ."

"You shut up now. It's my turn to talk."

"But you . . ."

"No. Listen to me. I am proud of you. And I don't care what you think I must feel; I like telling my friends about you. I may not be happy with the things you've done, but that's only because I love you and I want you to be okay. I'm not happy about your eyes, but I don't blame you. I'm not mad at you or ashamed. It's not going to change anything about how I feel for you. I'm not here because I feel I can't let you do this alone; I'm here because you shouldn't have to. Start accepting that. You're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. Not even if you opened your heart all the way and got really ugly looking like Ansem."

"You promise?"

"Yes."

"It's not an unrealistic possibility."

"Your eyes are orange. I think I'm aware."

"It could happen tomorrow."

"I know that. I'm not going anywhere. Accept it."

"It's hard to believe."

"Hard to believe? You are the luckiest little bastard in the world. You have friends, family, and a boyfriend who all love you unconditionally. Stop beating yourself up and making things harder on yourself."

Riku sighed.

"You're right. I know. I just . . . It's rarer than it should be to have so much support. And I've pushed so many of them away. I just figure it's only a matter of time until I push you away, too. So, yeah. It's hard to believe it's real."

"Believe it. Sora and Kairi are going to be your friends again. You'll see your family again. And I hold it on good authority that you can't get rid of me. I mean, really, I'd like to see you try."

"I'll just wait until you feel I need protected from you again."

"Very funny. Go to sleep. I'm here, okay? I won't let anything happen to you."

Riku nodded. He closed his eyes, worry and shame still coursing through his veins. His eyes still stung from tears. It was odd trying to sleep in a blindfold. Roxas—his movements, words—occupied his thoughts, feeding the anxiety. Sora's face was on his mind. Riku clung to it, not allowing it to escape for fear of losing the memory again. The face made the failure seem bigger, though. Worse.

Cloud's breath was warm and steady on his neck. Riku moved back into the body, curling up his legs to fit more securely against Cloud's chest. He wished for sleep. Cloud's fingers stroked his bare shoulder and fatigue eventually won out. Riku fell into unconsciousness.

-----0-----

Riku woke to an empty room. At least he thought it was empty because he didn't sense Cloud's presence but he couldn't see past the blindfold. He pinched the bottom and curled the material up to glance around the room. His senses were correct. No Cloud in sight. He replaced the fabric.

Riku slid from the bed and groped around the room toward the doorway. He followed the stairs down to the bathroom and slipped inside. Once there, he turned the lock and pulled the blindfold away. The first thing he noticed was the lightened, vacant spot on the wall where a grimy mirror hung last night. A slip of paper lay on the basin. Closer inspection identified the paper as a note.

Apparently Cloud was out procuring something to eat and if Riku was reading this, Cloud was correct to assume Riku would remove the blindfold to wash up. Riku scowled. They'd either lived together too long or this relationship was going better than Riku could've ever hoped for. A smile replaced the frown as he looked from Cloud's words to the wall. If he had removed his blindfold to wash up, he was not brooding over his eyes, either. At least if Cloud had anything to do with it.

Riku shook his head and laughed. That Cloud sure was something, and he didn't entirely mean that in a good way.

His brushed his teeth, washed his face, and Riku patted his skin dry as he heard the door open. Twisting his back, Riku turned toward the sound and cocked his head.

"Cloud?"

"Yeah, it's me," said Cloud, his voice passing through the door. Riku smiled and grabbed the blindfold from the sink. "Sorry it took me so long. There's no food here. At least not any I could find and I wasn't about to ask Organization XIII for help so I had to go back to Twilight Town. Corridors of darkness suck."

Riku frowned. He tied the blindfold around his head, groped for the doorknob, and exited the bathroom.

"How's it going with that thing?" said Cloud.

"My senses are sharpening. Did you say Twilight Town?"

"Yeah. That's where I landed the Gummi, remember? I told you last night."

"Last night was highly emotional. So you know where it is?"

"Yeah. Closest world to here."

"Figures."

"Here." Riku felt Cloud's hand wrap around his forearm and slowly pull him toward the ground. Once seated, Cloud passed him his breakfast. "Why do you ask?"

"Cause that's where DiZ lives. I'm supposed to take Roxas to his mansion once I've got him."

"You mean that big, old decrepit mansion?" said Cloud. Riku detected a frown in his voice.

"I guess. Why?"

"No reason. Just now I know whose place I keep breaking and entering."

"Breaking and entering?"

"Yeah. The portal to this world is in the mansion."

Riku snorted.

"You've been breaking into DiZ's mansion. I see."

"Actually, you're pretty blind right now, but yeah. So I can help you get back there once you beat Roxas if you like. I have to go back anyway to get my ship."

Riku nodded.

"Yeah. That'd be great."

"So, anyway, I have plans for us today."

Riku raised an eyebrow.

"Plans? Kinky sex plans or do you have something more productive in mind?"

"Something more productive, but I'm willing to put it aside if you were hoping for kinky, blindfolded sex."

Riku laughed.

"Maybe later, Casanova. So what are your plans?"

"Training."

"Training? No offense, Cloud, but I think I know how to use my Keyblade."

"I think so, too, but you're blindfolded now. You can't just open your eyes, and when you fight like that, maybe you can sense the Heartless. Maybe you can sense Roxas, and maybe you can even sense my presence because you can smell darkness . . ."

"I can smell the light, too."

"Yeah, but you need to get around without being able to see. You need to make sure you aren't going to run straight into a wall."

Riku frowned. He turned his head as if to stare at the floor, but as he was blinded . . .

"I suppose you have a point. I'm not even sure why I'm keeping my eyes open right now. It's not like I can see anything."

"You're acting weird again."

Riku smiled.

"It's just that I didn't even . . . I've been groping my way around here without thinking about how messy this could get. I kind of feel like an idiot. I also feel kind of stupid for wearing the blindfold in the first place. Like I should just deal with this."

"I don't care whether you wear it or not."

"No, it's not that. I mean . . . I really don't want Roxas to see me like this. You already have and that's bad enough, and he did catch a glimpse of it, but you don't show your enemies your weak points."

"So you've told me."

"I just have to get used to it. That's it. You were right last night. I think I am lying to myself, but it is the only thing I can do. I think I'll lose it if I even catch my reflection for a second. It's a constant reminder that he's still there . . ."

"I know. I get it. Remember the wing?"

"The wing?"

"Yeah," said Cloud, laughing. "The first time we met. I still had my wing."

"Why do I not remember this wing?"

"I don't know. You were too busy staring at my stunningly attractive face?"

Riku snorted.

"That must've been it. So what is this wing?"

"Sephiroth thing. Being tied to him. Constant reminder that Sephiroth wasn't dead. Would've gone away once I finished him, but Hades ripped it out of my back after The Cerberus Incident. Took over a month to heal properly. At least your eyes are just orange and you didn't gain an appendage."

"I seriously don't remember this wing."

"You're unobservant? Sora remembered. Asked me what happened to it after the Hercules Cup."

Riku frowned.

"You remember Sora?"

There was silence for a few seconds.

"Nope. Not his face. I know his name because you told me. But I know it was the Keyblade master kid and he was your friend. You were back at the hotel hiding from him."

"Did you remember that before?"

"Nope."

"What do you think that means?"

"No idea."

Riku sighed. He brushed his hands off on his pants and held out a hand.

"Can you help me stand? I want to get this training started."

Cloud's hand grasped his and Riku was hoisted to his feet.

"Your first task is to retrieve your Keyblade from upstairs on your own. I'll clean up awhile."

"Thanks."

Riku forced himself not to grope outward as he moved toward the stairs, or at least in the direction he thought the stairs might be.

"Cloud, please tell me I'm going in the right direction."

"Do you think you are?"

"No, but I sense the Keyblade in this direction."

"Don't worry. You're going the right way."

"This is going to be interesting."

"This is going to be amusing."

"Don't laugh at me. This is a sensitive subject and you're acting like an asshole."

"Oh, am I? Maybe I should just leave then."

"No. I . . . you suck."

"Stop being embarrassed. This is why we're training in the first place. I don't expect this to be easy for you."

Riku nodded. He rammed his toe into something hard, stumbled, and hissed.

"I just ran into the stairs, didn't I?"

Cloud snorted.

"Yeah, you did."

Riku sighed, shook his head, and put one hand on the railing. He stepped up.

"Hey, Cloud?"

"Hn?"

"You really had a wing?"

"Yes, I really did."

"That's weird."

"Get your Keyblade."

"I'm going."

Riku followed the stairs, searching for the ground with his feet. The sound of Cloud's chuckles drifted up after him. Riku shook his head and smiled as he reached the top of the staircase. He walked into the room, stumbled around for a few seconds, and grabbed the Keyblade.

* * *

**_Hello again. Long time, no chapters. So here's two for you and please continue to 48. Thanks bunches (of bananas)._**


	48. Comfort and Joy

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**:048. Growth

**Word Count**: 3,543

**Rating**: R

**Summary**: Riku's got to prepare for Roxas, but first he'd got Cloud to contend with.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

**_Step Forty-Eight: Comfort and Joy_**

There was a part of Cloud that knew he shouldn't be amused by this. It just wasn't polite to laugh at one's blinded boyfriend under the circumstances causing said blindness. This was a serious situation. Riku thought he should take the blindfold off, but that didn't mean he was about to do so any time soon. Cloud thought that maybe since he'd already seen Riku this way, he'd have taken it off and tried to forget the new coloring of his eyes, but there was still Roxas to contend with. Roxas meant that Riku needed to learn how to navigate blind, because Roxas could not know what Riku's eyes meant. From what Cloud gathered, Roxas had already seen and commented on it, but the meaning behind it was still a mystery. Riku wanted to keep it that way.

The rest of Cloud still knew this was a serious situation, but couldn't stop laughing. Riku was too adorable the way he stumbled around, reaching before him. The good news was every time Cloud hid the Way to the Dawn, Riku found it without a problem. He never headed in the wrong direction, walked too far, or stopped too soon. The bad news was every time Riku crossed an obstacle, he tripped over the thing and face planted into the ground. Cloud bit his knuckles in the hopes of holding back the chuckles.

"It isn't funny," said Riku, pulling himself from the ground and dusting off the Organization cloak. "I'm really starting to hurt."

"You almost missed it that last time."

"Yeah, so instead of tripping over the entire crate and landing directly on my face, I'm falling cockeyed and landing on my arm."

"No, really. You're getting better."

"You think this is funny."

"A little."

"Jackass."

"I love you. It's just hard not to laugh when someone keeps falling on their face."

"I'm going to break my nose."

"No, you're not. You're falling cockeyed now, remember?"

"Very funny."

"Here. Let me help you."

Cloud crossed to Riku and gripped his wrists, pulling back as Riku struggled to his feet.

"This sucks."

"You're getting better. Really."

"Roxas is going to murder me."

"Roxas is not going to murder you. We have a plan, right? You're going to fight your little heart out, and if you think you're going to lose, you're going to pull out Ansem's power."

"And change into him completely."

"It's a last resort. I'm not saying to do it from the start. Only if you think there's no other way you're going to win."

"He kicked my ass last time. I don't see how this time will be any different."

"Because I'm here to support you; you're not alone. You already released some of the power so you've got more at your disposal than you did the last time. You already know how he fights. Not to mention you're going to throw him when he sees the cloak and blindfold."

Riku sighed, swung behind him, and Cloud looked past to see a shadow fall to the ground.

"The damn Heartless are driving me crazy here."

"At least you can sense them, right? You can sense me?"

"Yes. I know where you are. I know when there's a Heartless coming."

"Good. That means you'll know where Roxas is, and considering he's the most important part. .."

"Yeah, well, he walks behind a crate and it's all over."

Cloud snorted.

"Why don't we take a break from the crates and actually get into some combat, then?"

"Combat?"

"Yes. We'll leave the crates where they are and you're going to fight me."

"What? You?"

"Yes, me. What? Do you think I'm not a match for you or something? I have had Jenova cells injected into me, exposure to mako, and even though Sora whips my ass, it doesn't mean that I can't kill Sephiroth."

"How impressive is killing Sephiroth again?"

"Sora has issues."

"Ah, right. I just . . . I don't know."

"What? Are you afraid I'll kick your ass?"

Riku laughed.

"Yeah, right. Sure you will."

"I will. You nurture and I kill shit, remember? That wouldn't be my role if I couldn't kick your ass."

Riku smiled, turned his head to the side, and adjusted the grip on his Keyblade.

"All right, Strife. You're on. Don't cry when I beat you."

"When you beat me? Wishful thinking, Asaki. Don't blame the blindfold when I win."

"Won't have to. You're going down."

-----0-----

Riku collapsed on the bed, laughing. He held his hands over his stomach and lifted his head in Cloud's direction.

"Have fun?"

"Yes. I thought the training was going to be completely awful after those crates, but fighting you . . . You're better than you look, you know?"

"In bed? Yes, I know."

"Shut up. I mean . . . you're really good. You held back, though. I could tell."

"Of course I did. You were already complaining about my sword hurting like a bitch. I wasn't going to give the full brunt of the blow."

"And how is that going to help me against Roxas?"

"Won't help you if you're dead, either."

"As if you could kill me."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Hell no. You're brutal."

"You're not so sugary sweet, either. That Keyblade of yours is vicious."

"Me? You're worse than I am."

"Better, you mean. Does that make me the winner?"

"No. You called me vicious."

"It's a draw, then. Can you accept that?"

"I suppose so. There are worse people to tie with. Besides, now I am comfortable with you being my protector."

"Thoroughly assured that I can take care of you?"

"Yeah. So I'll keep cooking for you and giving you coffee if you kill all the bad, nasty people that may break into our house."

Cloud smiled. He turned his face down toward the duffel bag, dug around, and pulled two potion vials out.

"So I get to take down the burglars, huh?"

"Yeah, but you can rest easy knowing that I'll take care of them if you're not home."

"Watch yourself, Asaki. Those sound like words of commitment. Our house. Home. I think you're making some implications that you plan on permanently living with me one day."

"I think that's your ass backwards way of asking me if that's what I meant."

"I think you're reading too much into it."

"That definitely means you want my opinion on permanently committing one day."

"You know me far too well. I think we should break up."

"Sounds good. I was getting sick of you, anyway."

Cloud bit his lip. Despite the seriousness of everything going on around them—training today and blindfold wrapped across Riku's eyes—his heart felt light, his head dizzy. Hope rose in his chest; anxiety rolled in his stomach. Cloud clutched the vials in his hand and walked to the bed. Riku's face turned toward him, frowning, and Cloud place one bottle in his hands.

"Drink. It's a potion. It'll help with the wounds."

"Thanks. Do we have anything left over to eat?"

"Yeah. I got enough for the next few days. I didn't know how long it was going to take until you were ready for Roxas."

"Should be pretty soon. Tomorrow or the day after. Trying to just navigate around the crates was a bitch, but I could sense you well enough that all I had to do was follow your movements."

"Do you sense the Heartless that well?"

"Usually. You feel much different, of course." Riku paused. He gulped down the potion, screwed his face up for a second, and relaxed. He handed the empty bottle out to Cloud. "You know, there's not as much darkness in you as you think. I sense far more light."

Cloud frowned. He took the bottle, leaned across the bed, and placed it on the floor.

"Riku, I want to talk."

"We are talking."

"You know what I mean."

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

"No. You just . . . you brought something up, and then I continued, and we . . ."

"What are you talking about?"

"Commitment."

"Ah. Scary word for you."

"Yes and no. Scary in the way that I . . . I've already told you I want to be with you forever. You know this. Just . . . you've been talking a lot lately about finishing off Ansem so that we can be together. And I want to finish Sephiroth so that we can be together. But we haven't really discussed what we'd like to do when those things happen other than be together. There's a lot to consider."

"Such as . . .?"

"Such as . . . such as your education. You're only sixteen. You haven't finished school, and I don't know if you want to. If you've even considered it. How much longer you'd have to go should you decide to return. There's living arrangements, and I don't just mean whether or not we live together. Would you live with your parents again? Do you want to live in Hollow Bastion? Destiny Islands? Somewhere else? And when you say that you want to be together, do you just mean dating or do you mean living together? Are we talking about just dating or are we talking about throwing a commitment ceremony, setting up house, and adopting kids one day? Have you even considered the possibility of having kids one day, because you're only sixteen and I know I didn't even think that far when I was sixteen. There's the age difference, which we haven't had an issue with yet, but I don't know if there's going to be one when we can finally be together. What if we realize we're at very different places in our relationship maturity and while I'm ready for a lot more, you still just want to have fun?"

Cloud watched Riku's eyebrows rise. The corners of his lips twitched into a smile. Cloud sighed and hung his head, raking his fingers through his hair. Soft chuckles sounded in his ears and Cloud glanced up to see Riku's chest heave a few times before he burst into laughter.

"You seriously didn't just say everything I think you just said. That was some speech."

"Don't laugh at me. I'm serious."

"I know you are. That's what makes it so funny."

"Riku, please . . . you know, you're in no position to laugh at me when I'm trying to be serious with you. I've been feeding you all day, training you, supporting you in everything you decide to do . . ."

"And you're wonderful at it. Speaking of which, can we get some food over here or what? I'm starving."

"Hog."

He sighed and stood, crossing over to the table again. Cloud shuffled through the grocery bags he retrieved that morning in Twilight Town. Pulling out two paper plates, he set the food out. Two sandwiches later he turned back toward the bed. The orange eyes peered at him; Riku's smile hadn't faded. Cloud's breath caught as he stared into the foreign hue, but despite the obvious differences, the love was still there. The glint of mischievousness and pride that had been there since day one flickered behind the hesitation and anxiety—the glint that never really died out.

"I thought you'd like to look at my whole face while we talk about this."

"Is that right?"

Riku nodded.

"Yeah. And I'm testing you. Cause, you know, if you can look in my eyes and talk about commitment while I look like this, then maybe . . . you know, maybe this can all become easier to believe."

"I don't think that's going to be a problem."

"So you say now. We'll see. Give me my sandwich."

"Yes, dear."

Cloud returned to the bed and handed one plate over to Riku.

"So where should we start?" said Riku. "I know. How about my education?"

Cloud took a deep breath and nodded.

"Sounds good."

"Here's the deal, and tell me if you're not okay with it. I _would_ like to go back to school and finish out, but I've been gone so long that I don't know if it's even an option. When I do get home, I'm going to look into everything that I'd have to do to finish, and I'll make my decision then, but I am going to complete high school in one way or another. I know I want that much. I'm not really sure beyond that yet."

Cloud nodded. He released a breath.

"Good. I want you to finish school."

"Good. So we agree there. As for the living situation . . . If I'm going to finish school, then I have to live on Destiny Islands. If Sephiroth is gone by the time I finish Ansem off and go home, then I'd like you to come with me. If you'd do that for me. Because as far as the living situation goes, we've already lived together and I want to do it again. I can't live with my parents anymore. Maybe for a little while right after I get home, but if something happens with the Heartless . . . if another mission crops up, I don't want to bail right out of that house for the second time. I've been away too long; I've become too used to taking care of myself. I want to live with you. But that's what I want, so if you don't . . ."

Cloud reached out a hand and placed it on Riku's forearm. Their eyes met. Cloud smiled and nodded.

"I can do that for you. No problem."

"Good. I mean, if Sephiroth isn't finished yet then that comes first. But if he is . . ."

"I will live with you on Destiny Islands. I'd like that."

"Okay. Good. After I finish school . . . I don't know. We'll see when we get there."

"Sounds good."

"As for the age difference . . . I don't know, Cloud. Who knows where I'll be by the time this all gets to happen? Right now I know that I'm too young to even think about the possibility of kids one day. I'm still a kid myself. I think we both know this. Maybe one day, but definitely not until after I'm finished with school and financially secure."

Cloud smiled and nodded.

"You never cease to amaze me."

"Why? Because I know I'm immature?"

"No. Because you understand your limits, and you set your boundaries within those limits for the present, but you keep your options for the future open. It takes a great deal of maturity and confidence to do that."

"I'll have you know that I used to be very confident. You could have called me arrogant."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

"Because I've told you a thousand times before?"

"That too, but it's ridiculously obvious as well."

"Well, I do have my strong points."

Cloud snorted. His face relaxed and hand slipped down to wrap his fingers with Riku's.

"We're on the same page with the possibility of kids, then. Maybe one day, but no time soon, and definitely not before you finish school. Or before we're both ready."

Riku nodded.

"Listen, as far as . . ." Riku took a deep breath. His grip tightened around Cloud's hands. "As far as commitment ceremonies and setting up house goes, because that's a bit more . . ."

"Committed?"

"For lack of a better word. Yeah. It's a bit more committed than just living together, but . . . I do think about it. When I say I want to be with you forever, and I don't ever want to be without you . . . I don't just mean I want you in my life. I don't mean that I want to be with you for every second of every day. I can handle a few days, weeks, even months apart. I just always want to be yours. I want to know that I can call you any time, any day, and you're going to be there. I want to know that . . ."

"That's we're always going to be together in that romantic sense . . ."

"Yeah. I like being an 'us' with you. I need you, and not in that desperate, codependent way, but . . . I have fun with you. You make me happy. And you're not exactly my light, per se, but you make me want to find the light within myself. You make me want to try harder, and not just for you or me or us, but for other people, too. And not just to repent for my mistakes. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes you really piss me off. You drive me so crazy sometimes that I just want to bitchslap you a couple times, but it doesn't mean that I'm not in love with you while I'm wishing you dead."

Cloud smiled and dropped his face toward the mattress.

"Tell me about it. I could throttle you daily."

Riku laughed.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that . . . I don't know. Maybe when I finish school . . . maybe we could just agree right now that we will have this conversation again when this is over. When Sephiroth is dead, and Ansem's gone from my heart, and I finish school . . . Promise me, okay? Promise me that when that all happens, you'll ask me."

"Ask you?"

"Yeah. You'll ask me for that commitment ceremony."

"What if we aren't together anymore?"

Riku bit his lip and smiled.

"We will be. After all, I'd have to be the one to end it because you aren't going anywhere even if I turn into ugly Ansem, right?"

"So you were listening."

"Yes, I was, and I've accepted it. So . . . yeah. I'd have to end it, and since I'm not going anywhere, either, we will be. So promise me that you'll ask me then."

Cloud nodded.

"I promise."

"If I freak out and try to run from you, promise that you won't let me. Because I know these next couple of months are going to be really bad and I just might get the idea in my head that I'm not good enough for you. I might get bratty and mean. I might tell you that I hate you and never want to see you again. I might even really try to hurt you when you hold on, so promise me you won't let me ruin this because I'm scared and insecure."

"Only if you promise to do the same for me. I push people that I love away, too, because I think it's better for them. Don't let me do it to you. I don't care if I tell you that I changed my mind about us. I don't care if I bring up this conversation and tell you that I don't feel that way anymore, because it won't be true. I'll just be trying to convince myself that it is."

"I promise."

"Then I do, too."

Riku took a breath, held it, and then released. He pried Cloud's fingers from his own, grabbed the plates, and carried them over to the trash bag. Cloud stared as he paused by the bag, rubbed the back of his head, and turned back to the bed.

"Cloud?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you wrap my eyes up again for me?"

"Sure."

Cloud patted the bed beside him. Riku hung across the room and then walked back over. He sat on the bed, back to Cloud. His fingers flexed against his knees as Cloud grabbed the wrapping and strung it across his eyes. He knotted the back and gave it a light tug. Riku's back remained stiff at first, and then he relaxed, turning, and he crawled toward the headboard.

"Can we turn out the lights and get into bed?"

"Tired?"

Riku bit his lip and shook his head.

"No."

Cloud's eyebrows rose.

"Then . . .?"

Riku huffed. He rubbed his forehead.

"God, I think I'm more nervous right now than I was the first time . . ."

"To make matters clear, we are talking about having sex, right?"

"Yes. We are."

"With you blindfolded."

"Yes."

"And I get the feeling you aren't going with the kinky vibe."

"As cheesy as it sounds, I want to use the rest of my senses. I want to feel that light I was following today, and if I can see I just won't pay attention to the rest of it."

Cloud swallowed.

"I think I'm nervous now."

Riku laughed.

"You?"

"I can get nervous about sex, too, you know? Nice sex, anyway."

"Some might call it making love."

"Some might, but that would be awfully corny and girly of you."

"That's why some might call it making love, but we call it nice sex."

"Because lying to yourself is sometimes all you can do not to lose your mind."

"Exactly, but if we admitted that, then we wouldn't be lying to ourselves."

"That's true; we wouldn't."

"Turn out the light, Cloud, and shut up while you're at it."

"Right on that."

* * *

**_All right. Now that you've read them both I submit myself to your verbal bashing about where I've been and just who I think I am letting you all hang like that._**

**_Update on my life: Hersheypark is awful and they have no one but themselves to blame. They sent me to the Boardwalk for a day after moving me around to three different rides. I thought it was awesome, had my only good day, and aspired to be a lifeguard down there, but there were no applications up. So I investigated my options and got into a lifeguard training class with a man that looks like the hulk. So I quit Hersheypark and they have no one but themselves to blame. Shouldn't have put me where I didn't belong. Got my hands in the cookie jar and now I have my lifeguard/first aid and cpr/aed certifications._**

**_The good news for you is that I have no July 4th plans so I will be continuing the progress of this story tonight and tomorrow. After that . . . I don't know how long it'll be until I update. I'm on a roll right now, though. So you should expect an update tomorrow. Possibly also the day after that, too, but I make no promises._**

**_To the lovely people who have been messaging me, thanks bunches. _**

**_To the 59 people who have this story on alert and the 52 people that have favorited it, thank you very very much._**

**_To my reviewers:_**

**Futile Faith**: I does seem that I've infected people. Jediempress and I even share a brain. It's very fun. I'm sorry about the very long wait. I really am. I feel bad.

**Beatrisu**: I'm doing my very best with the canon, but it's such an intricate plot line when you get into Deep Dive and the second game because stuff is revealed late in the story and it's all very interwoven. I'm just trying to do what I can and not mess it up too bad.

**Jediempress**: I am planning on fulfilling the request you PMed me about, but I put my story updates first. I doubt you have a problem with that.

**Lady Karai**: Cloud had to give him the outfit. That blindfold is too kinky not to come from Cloud (thanks to Leon's closet, anyway).

**LunaLocket**::laughs a little to self:: Update sooner, huh? Um? Sorry? I tried. I really did. I wrote the beginning of 47 right after I posted 46, but I didn't get any time to get back to it until very recently mostly because of lifeguard classes and then I'm working on a story with my best friend and I can't abandon our joint project for my own sake. I just wouldn't feel right about it. But still, this story is very important and it shall never be abandoned for good. I promise.

**Riku-Rocks**: Let's not lie to ourselves. Cloud and Riku can, but I just can't. This story drips with sap. Yes, it has it angst and drama, but it's saturated with cheese. I'm okay with that. Life sucks too much sometimes to not have it drip with sap when you get the opportunity.

**-find.me.please-**: I know. That cliffhanger was horrible and I left it with you all twice. I know it had to be horrible, anyway, because I was pleased with it. Anyway, I don't know how frequently I'm going to be updating because I'm now attempting to make enough money for school and an apartment, but I will do my best. That is a promise. I won't have any Dawson's Creek marathons when I could be writing this. Cross my heart.

**DarkFoxFlame**: I'm glad you understand the blindfold when he changes back, because I'm not quite sure why it's there as him when it isn't as Ansem/Xehanort thingy. Doesn't matter, though. I'll just make something up, KH3 will come out, and all my hard work will be for nothing.

**Koji Inari**: Before I reply, I want to say that I like your Virtual Dome story and want to read more, but haven't had the time to review yet because I've been working on this. I haven't caught up on Dirge yet, but I will leave you a review when I do. Okay. Now that that's out of the way, the Leon's leather tongue twister was enjoyable. And I must personally apologize to you as well for not updating sooner because I didn't and you told me to. ::sigh:: I will get better at this again. I will. Employment is a bitch.

**koyuki-san**: Cloud is a pervert, and that's the way we like him. Or the way I like him, anyway.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: I'm still replying (obviously). Just didn't for the last update. Do not fear. I will not abandon you.

**prettykitty3000**: I'm glad you didn't explode waiting for the last update, and I hope you didn't update waiting for this one. I know it was a very long time. I feel very bad for it.

**Mangled Euphoria**: I don't find the time to be creative. Which is why I take so long to update. And if I did find the time to be creative, it would be because I reject reality for the brutality of it and live in a fantasy world instead. As for roleplaying, I have honestly never done it, but have considered many a time. Perhaps one day. If I ever figure out how it works, anyway.

**audaces fortuna iuvat**: So the story takes approximately five hours to read. Good to know. Thank you for the luck with all one hundred chapters. I might need it. I have never written that much before, either. At least I know it is still fabulous, bringing in new readers, and hasn't become dull yet. That's always a good sign that I'm still doing something right.

**fallenxfate**: Kingdom Hearts is the shit and I am more than happy to make people more intersted in the games. They are completely awesome. Your comments were also very lovely because it's a huge compliment to get a review in the first place that isn't out of guilt or pity, much less one that calls a story beautiful. So thank you very much.

**With My Key I**: Another 'beautiful' and another fan for the pairing. Excuse me while I applaud myself for sharing CloudxRiku with the world. Okay. I'm good now. Thanks very much. Twisting canon with two characters who have never met (as far as we know) and making it work is not as easy as it sounded when I decided to go about this. Then again, it probably would have been easier had Leon never found it. Nosy Leon.

**BloodRedViolet**: I'm going to update right now. Hah. No, I'll be updating tomorrow again in case you were interested. I have all night with nothing to do and I'm out of WB teen dramas to watch on DVD which leaves me with this story and myself. Thanks for the comments. Much appreicated.

**HoggyWarts**: You've been very kind in your reviews. I appreicate them very much. You last reviewed on chapter 36, so I hope to have correspondence with you soon. Thanks a lot.

**_Once again, apologies for lack of chapters, but I've enjoyed reading everyone else's stories. Hee._**

**_No, really, I'll update tomorrow again. It is a promise. I have nothing else to do. So until then . . ._**

**_Love, _**

**_D_**


	49. Interlude

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 049. Morning

**Word Count**: 2,519

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Everything sucks right now and nothing is exactly what Riku needs.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

**_Step Forty-Nine: Interlude_**

Riku sat in bed, his back against the pillow. Darkness streamed through the window matching the darkness of the small bedroom. The blindfold lay in his hands; Riku pulled it through his fingers and wrapped it around his palms. He watched the sky from this vantage point, wondering if it were still night or if day had already come. Didn't make a difference in the World That Never Was. Day or night, it was always dark. It didn't really matter, either, because it had no effect on today's events.

Beside him, Cloud was still sleeping. His cheek pressed against the mattress and smashed his lips together in a pucker. His mouth was slightly open. One arm hung over the bed's edge; he kept the other pulled against his chest. A thin, dirtied sheet lay draped across Cloud's back and Riku's lap, but while Riku was dressed, Cloud still lay nude from last night's . . . something.

Riku smiled. He balled the blindfold in one hand and used the other to smooth across the soft, blond spikes. Leaning forward, he placed a kiss on Cloud's forehead. His hand stilled and rested at the crown of Cloud's head.

It must've been before ten because Riku was wide awake and Cloud could've been dead if not for the snoring.

There was a lot that still needed to be done before Riku could face Roxas again. Riku would've made plans for today, but Cloud might have something on the agenda already, and Riku didn't want to disrupt any help Cloud thought to offer. He would wake him in a bit, but for now Riku wanted to just sit and watch Cloud sleep. Yesterday had been a tiring day between training and . . .

It would figure that Cloud would bring up commitment at a time like this. It was so unexpected and yet so like him that Riku could only grin and not ask questions. If Cloud hadn't shown up, he'd simply resort to brooding and feeling bad about himself, but Cloud wouldn't have that. He'd come because he didn't want Riku to do this alone—didn't want him to fall into that pattern of depression. So of course Cloud would bring up commitment at a time like this. Just when Riku started to push away, before he even knew he was doing it, Cloud clung tighter.

Last night was weird. Something had changed, and though Riku wasn't sure what it had been, he felt the difference. Maybe it was the open admission that he intended to spend the rest of his life with Cloud. It was a big thing to decide (and not just because of his age), especially when he didn't know what was going to happen tomorrow. Deciding to spend a lifetime with someone, no matter what happens, was a scary thing. It was more than that, though. Riku actually expressed his want to finish school, and Cloud not only thought it was a good idea, but agreed to move to Destiny Islands for him while he did it. They promised not to let each other delve into bad habits by pulling or pushing away. Then there was the sex.

Sex was still a sensitive subject for Riku. Sure, since that first time in Olympus Coliseum, he'd had it a lot. It wasn't some big, scary thing. He wasn't nervous anymore, and they'd had emotional sex before, but last night . . .

Blindfolded, every feeling was heightened. He could actually smell the light coming from Cloud. He felt pathetic and corny even thinking it, but he could actually smell the love there. While it was a comforting sensation that made him feel closer to Cloud than ever, it was terrifying as well. The fear of letting him down—even if he wasn't going anywhere—increased.

Riku bit his lip and hung his head. He slid down on the mattress, stretched his body out, and shifted toward Cloud. His nose pressed against Cloud's arm. Closing his eyes, he breathed in the scent—one that was now so familiar and calming that Riku felt fatigue he didn't even know was still there take over his consciousness.

"I love you so much," he mumbled.

Cloud shifted in his sleep, pulled his arm away, and wrapped it around Riku's back. He drew them together, readjusted his head, and resumed snoring. Riku snickered and shook his head. He fell back into sleep.

-----0-----

"So what's on your agenda for today?" said Riku. He glanced up from his breakfast to catch Cloud's eye and grinned. "You do have something horrible planned for me, don't you?"

"I take that comment personally. It's not like I'm trying to torture you, you know."

"Could've fooled me."

"There's nothing on the agenda. You're taking the morning off. We'll resume tonight."

"And what are we doing tonight?"

"I'm not doing anything. You're going to go look for Roxas."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Don't you think it's a little soon?"

"You had no problems following my movements yesterday. You're ready; I have faith in you."

"At least one of us does."

Cloud sighed. He lowered his head and rubbed a hand over his forehead. Riku frowned and shifted for a moment before patting the bed beside him.

"I'm sorry, okay? Come sit."

"I'm not mad or anything. I just . . ."

"You think I can do it, but all I can do is be negative." Riku bit his lip and nodded. "I know. I haven't been very positive about any of this. It must be getting difficult for you."

Cloud strode across the room and sat on the bed. He reached out his hand and placed it mid-thigh on Riku's leg. He gave a short squeeze and shrugged.

"I'm frustrated because I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help you. And I think you're ready, so I don't want you to put this off anymore than you had to. You're just going to psyche yourself out until you really believe there's no way you can win. That's why I want you to do it tonight."

"What should I do until then?"

"I don't know, babe. I just want you to take some time to mentally prepare yourself. Don't think about it too much, but remember that you're going to do it."

Riku frowned.

"What do you want to do?"

"Honestly? Spend time with you before this is over."

"What do you mean?"

"This is kind of our last morning together. At least for awhile. Once you've got Roxas, you'll be off with DiZ doing whatever he needs you to do for Sora. I'll be back in Hollow Bastion with Leon and everyone moving rocks or something equally retarded until I sense Sephiroth. I kind of thought it'd be nice to spend the day in bed together."

Riku's lips twisted into a smile.

"That does sound nice. Depressing circumstances, but . . . yeah. I mean, it's not like we ever really did get much of a chance to enjoy each other living with Leon."

"He's a slave driver. You think you've got it bad with Roxas? I'm just about ready to cry thinking about going back to those boulders."

"I bet you miss everyone, though."

"Sure, but it's no different than if I were off looking for Sephiroth. Cause you know I disappear for months when that happens."

"So . . ." Riku crawled under the blankets and snuggled down to rest his head on the pillow. "Get in bed with me and let's talk."

"What? No kinky, blindfolded sex?"

"Come off the kinky sex already. You want to do that shit at a time like this then go back to Leon. I hear he's into that stuff."

"That was a mental image I just never needed to have," said Cloud. He, too, slipped beneath the blankets. Riku shifted, lifting his torso as Cloud's arms wrapped around his shoulders. Cloud pulled Riku's back to his chest and nuzzled his nose into Riku's hair. "Sex with Leon. Gross."

"Leon's sexy. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Leon is not sexy."

"Yes, he is. I don't believe you haven't noticed it before. I know I have. First thing I thought when I met him was 'Dear God, you are fucking hot.'"

"You did not."

"Yes, I really did. Why? Can't I tell you that? Are you going to freak out about the way he looks at me again?"

"That was ages ago. Do you really have to keep bringing it up? I'd like to forget how supremely I managed to embarrass myself."

"You got that much right. Supremely."

"Not that I shouldn't have been worried. You think Leon is sexy."

"Leon is sexy, but that doesn't mean you should have been worried. I'm in love with you, yeah, but that doesn't make me blind. Leon is fucking hot."

"Could you stop that now and tell me how hot you think I am instead?"

"Oh, yes, Cloud, I think about you and I instantly get hard. That's how hot you are."

"Thank you."

"I was being sarcastic."

"Let me dream. It's not like you've ever called me fucking hot."

"You are fucking hot. It just happens that Leon is as well. If we weren't together, I'd totally have sex with him. I can't believe you never thought about it."

"Well, you know, I knew him when I was still taller. I was walking around for almost eight years thinking of him looking the way he did when he was eleven. Not exactly sex-worthy if you know what I mean."

"But didn't you just see him again and think that he got really fucking hot?"

"Not really. I was too preoccupied thinking about how long it really had been."

"I can't believe you're actually getting worked up about this. It's not like I'm going to go run after Leon. I'm not into leather, but you seem genuinely interested in the merits of sex toys. That's what this conversation is about, after all."

"You're enjoying this more than you should. I want you to know you're a sick bastard."

"Is that a step up from brat?"

"Think so. You've been promoted."

"Sweet. Leon would be so proud."

"Mention Leon's name one more time and I'm going to throw you to Roxas."

"You're so sensitive. It's not like I'm serious. I just like getting you riled up."

"That's because you're a sadistic little shit."

"You like me this way, you masochistic fucker."

"Listen to the way you talk. I can't believe I let you kiss me with that mouth."

"I can; you're masochistic. I thought we just established this."

Cloud laughed. The sound brightened the darkened part of his heart still aware of what he needed to do tonight. Roxas hung in the back of his mind, but Cloud's voice in his ear and arms tight around his chest eased the pressure. Riku pressed back into Cloud, rolled his head onto his shoulder, and smiled.

"Thank you for this. Really. I needed it."

"What? Light-hearted banter about wanting to fuck my best friend?"

"Not about Leon, but yeah. Jokes. Laughing. Ridiculous conversation. I can't stop thinking about Roxas and what I might have to do, even before you told me that I need to go after him tonight. This is nice."

"Lucky for you I'm good at shooting the shit, then. Leon wouldn't have taken this good care of you."

"Hey, Leon and I have some pretty decent conversation. He's actually really funny. But you're right. We're great friends, but I doubt anyone could make me feel like you do."

"Leon's just not masochistic enough for you."

"Leon doesn't just understand without me ever having to tell him what's wrong. You . . . you just always know. Just what I need to hear. That I shouldn't put off Roxas because I'm only going to make myself more nervous. That I needed this morning to just be with you. That you should even follow me in the first place. You even thought to bring the cloak."

"I'd love to take the credit, but I don't think I'm really that good. I just . . . I don't know. We've been together for a long time now."

Riku nodded.

"It'll be a year next month."

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"It feels like so much less, and yet . . ."

"Like we've been together forever. And not entirely in the good way."

"Yeah. I know what you mean. You know, they say the first year's easy. The second year is the one that kills you."

Riku barked a laugh.

"We're screwed."

"Yeah. I can't wait to get rid of you."

"Oh, shut up. I just meant that this year has been anything but easy. If the second year's the tough one, I don't even want to think about the challenges we're going to have to deal with."

"Oh, I already know. You're going to be all ugly, Ansem-looking."

"Yeah, and you're going to contract some disease that further prevents us from having sex. It's going to be all Sephiroth's fault, too."

"Definitely. And then you'll defeat Ansem, turn back into yourself, and I'll still be chasing Sephiroth while trying not to die. Cause, you know, the disease will be fatal."

"Yeah. And you've got to kill him for good if you want to live."

"The completely unfunny part about this is it's the only way shit can get worse."

"I don't know. I could fall for Leon."

"Don't fool yourself. His closet of kink would make you piss your pants."

"Maybe, but my love for him will win out. Or you'll fall for Leon."

"You'll decide you aren't over Sora."

"You'll decide you aren't over Zack."

"Zack's dead. What would the point of that be?"

"Exactly."

Cloud snorted.

"Ah, I see."

Riku sighed. He turned in Cloud's arms and pressed his face against his chest. He inhaled.

"I love you so fucking much."

"I'm not going to decide I'm not over Zack."

"I know. One of the many reasons I love you so fucking much."

"Why do you love me so fucking much right now?"

"Same as before. You banter good. I feel like crying."

Cloud's expression softened.

"I know. Everything really sucks right now. It will get better eventually."

"I don't want to fight Roxas."

"I know."

"I want to go back to our room in Hollow Bastion. I want to be with you. I really don't want to do this."

"I know, but everything's going to be all right."

"You promised."

"Damn right I did, and I'm not about to break it."

"Cloud, I'm tired."

"Sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up."

"But if I go to sleep, that's less time with you before Roxas. I'll wake up and . . . and what if I have nightmares again?"

"I'm here, okay? I won't leave you. You know, unless I have to piss or something. Deal?"

Riku nodded. His head pounded; his eyes stung. He rested his head against Cloud and took a deep breath.

"Deal."

* * *

**_Continue, my dears. Continue._**


	50. On The Outside

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**:050. Night

**Word Count**: 1,950

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku needs to follow his instincts. Cloud can't stop watching.

**Musical Inspiration**: Kingdom Hearts II OST – 'Riku'

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

* * *

**_Step Fifty: On The Outside_**

Cloud sat on the bed, Buster Sword in hand. His fingers trembled around the hilt. He gripped tighter, increasing the pressure in hopes to steady his weapon, but it only shook stronger and more visibly. Cloud took a series of deep breaths and closed his eyes. The anxiety boiled within him, and Cloud could practically feel it rushing through his veins. His heart beat fast, his breath quickened, and the thumping that turned his stomach traveled up to settle in his head. His brain felt ready to implode.

As thick and heavy as the tension was within him, it failed to compare with the strain hanging in the room. After all the lengthy talks and introspection, after all the promises that things would work out, he thought it would be easier to keep hope alive. This sensation wasn't nagging; it weighed on his entire body, crushing his lungs. The feeling of loss and the suggestion that things were about to change clawed at his skin. Pain and fear seized his limbs.

Cloud hadn't slept since last night. He spent the day in bed thinking more than he should, arms wrapped around Riku's body, whispering prayers to anyone that might listen. His fingers raked through Riku's hair, he touched the planes of Riku's face, kissed Riku's eyelids . . . anything to memorize every detail. His bangs were so long now, covering his eyes almost as much as the blindfold. His face had matured. He'd grown so much taller. So much had changed. It would be a year next month.

They'd changed as people, too. Cloud had always thought he'd been open with Riku. Was concerned about him since the day they met, but it was so much more now. More worries, more problems, and though Riku had become so much stronger than that boy he met at Maleficent's castle, the darkness was still there. The form had changed, his vision cleared, and perhaps even his priorities were worked out, but Riku continued to fight for redemption. He still sought for peace with himself.

Cloud stared at the floor, unable to lift his head and watch as Riku pulled on the Organization cloak. A clang sounded as Riku grabbed the Way to the Dawn and strapped it to his side. The cloak fell forward, concealing its presence.

"You're going to cover for me, right?" said Riku. "Make sure no one else gets involved?"

Cloud nodded.

"Yeah."

"And once Roxas shows up, I want you to leave. Come back here, okay? I don't want you to see what might happen."

Cloud closed his eyes and took a breath.

"Riku . . ."

"Please. I don't . . . I don't want you to see me like that. I don't want this to be a memory you have to associate with me. This pre-battle stuff is bad enough."

"What if you need help? What if someone else comes along?"

Riku sighed. Cloud opened his eyes and lifted his head. He caught Riku's gaze, and his heartbeat quickened. Riku's eyes were firm and unyielding no matter how much hesitation and fear swam behind it. Even orange, Riku was there, peering back at him. Cloud rubbed the back of his neck.

"You can't help me," said Riku. "This is my battle. I don't want you to have to watch me get hurt."

"You're not going to . . ."

"I am. Roxas is tough, okay? I don't want to put you through that. I actually think it might be worse than you sitting here and not knowing."

"I don't know about that."

"Please. For me."

Cloud nodded.

"Okay."

"I'll come back for you once I've got Roxas, okay? Then you can show me the way to Twilight Town, get your Gummi, and set off. You're going back to Hollow Bastion, right?"

". . . Yeah."

"Tell everyone I said hi."

"I will."

Riku grabbed the blindfold from the table and wrung it in his hands.

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'm not leaving yet."

"I know. It's just . . ."

"I know."

Riku inhaled, nodded, and walked over to Cloud. He pried one hand away from the Buster Sword and placed the blindfold in his palm. Riku turned away and kneeled. Cloud hesitated, and then leaned his sword against the bed; he strung the material across Riku's eyes.

"You ready?" said Cloud.

"As ready as I'm going to get considering the circumstances."

"That's all you can hope for, I guess." Cloud finished tying the knot and patted Riku on the shoulder. "All set."

"All right." Riku stood and turned his face toward the door. The hesitant aura radiating from him started to diminish. Riku lifted his head. "Let's do this."

Cloud continued to sit on the bed. He watched Riku stride forward, a newfound resolve in place as he found the doorknob without issued and left the room. Taking a moment, Cloud ran his hands through his hair one more time. He grabbed his sword, took one last look around the room, and left, closing the door behind him.

Riku hung by the exit at the bottom of the stairs. He turned his face toward Cloud at the creaking of the stairs. When Cloud reached the bottom, he flung open the door. Riku stepped through, paused just outside, and turned right, walking down the alleyway and away from Cloud toward the Organization's stronghold. Cloud followed, stopping at the end of the alley. Riku turned to him.

"You stay here, then."

"Yep. Where are you going?"

Riku moved his head back and forth as if looking for a good place, but as he couldn't see, Cloud assumed he was sniffing the area out. He paused, frowning, and then pointed up.

"There."

Cloud followed his motion. His eyes widened.

"You mean the top of that very large skyscraper-type building?"

Riku bit his lip.

"Uh huh. Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Something just tells me that that's where I'm supposed to be. I'm not going to question that. I need all the vibes I can get."

"How are you going to get up there?"

"I don't know."

"It's awfully high up. Don't you think Roxas is going to be down here instead? He probably doesn't make it a habit of climbing extremely tall skyscraper-type buildings."

"Just how high is high?"

"Really high."

Riku bit his lip, paused, and turned the material up, catching his bangs in the fold. He blinked a few times, readjusting his vision to the small amount of light. He, too, followed where his finger pointed and swallowed.

"It's a good vantage point for a lookout."

"You sure about this?"

"I have to trust my instincts. I just need to figure out how to get up there."

Cloud huffed and looked away.

"This is getting insane."

"Relax. I'm going to be fine. My gut says that I need to be on the lookout from up there, so that's what I'm going to do."

"Just promise me you won't try it blindfolded."

Riku raised an eyebrow.

"Try what? It's not like I'm going to climb the thing."

"How are you going to look for Roxas with the blindfold on?"

"I'm going to sniff him out."

"Can't you do that from down here?"

"Sure, but if I do it from down here, he might notice my presence, too. That's something I really don't want. I need the advantage here. If I come at him from up there, at least I'll have the element of surprise on my side."

"What do you mean by 'come at him from up there'? What are you going to do? Throw yourself off the building?"

"It's not that big of a fall. Sora could do it. I can do it."

"It's a pretty big fall."

"Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

"Oh, do you now?"

"Yeah. I do."

Riku winked, smiled, and pulled the material back over his eyes. "Wish me luck," he said, and then he disappeared in a cloud of black-purple smoke.

Cloud stared at the empty space, blinked, and then looked to the top of the large building. The smoke reappeared on top, and then Riku was there. He walked to the ledge and stared down. Wind whipped his hair around his face, and like this, standing up there, Cloud thought that Riku looked both melancholy and yet somewhat formidable. Cloud brought his hand up, dug under his shirt's collar, and gripped the pendant Riku gave him for Christmas. He brought it to his face and pressed his lips to the cool metal.

"Good luck."

-----0-----

Hours passed without any sign of life other than the occasional swarm of Heartless. Roxas made no appearance, nor did any of the Organization members. Cloud sat crouched at the end of the alleyway and surveyed the open space. He took a moment every now and then to glance up to Riku, hardly a pinprick from this distance, crouched by the ledge.

It started to rain about an hour ago. It wasn't heavy, just a light mist for most of the time, but the occasional drizzle spread across the World That Never Was and collected in puddles on the ground. After five minutes Cloud saw Riku pull the cloak's hood up and duck his head. Cloud shook his, sighed, and flexed his fingers around the Buster Sword's hilt.

About three hours after they left the small, dingy house, footsteps other than his and Riku's own sounded through the open space. The rain continued to fall as storm clouds filled the sky. Water splashed from the puddles as heavy steps pounded through them. The figure stepped into view, decked out in the standard black Organization robe. His hood was up; blond fringe hung across the only visible part of his face.

Cloud skirted farther back into the alley and out of sight. He glanced up to the building. Riku had noticed, too. He stood to full height and stepped closer to the edge.

Tension built in Cloud's heart as the Organization member stopped in the middle of his field of vision. Time seemed to slow, and then the wind picked up. Bright, yellow orbs started to emerge from the ground; shadows and neoshadows covered the field. A metallic cling echoed, and Roxas pulled two Keyblades from beneath his cloak. Atop the building, Riku's hair whipped about his face as he turned his head down. If it weren't for the blindfold, Cloud would've sworn Riku was watching him.

He was good. Cloud felt his heart seize, knew he should turn back now and let Riku handle things, but he couldn't tear his eyes from Roxas. The way he wielded the Keyblades was effortless and graceful. They were extensions of his body; the only other person he'd ever seen fight with such fluidity was Sephiroth. He whipped the Keyblade away, and it cut down several heartless before Roxas would intercept to catch it again. His body never stayed in one place; he moved around the arena with the same kind of speed and theatrics that Sephiroth was so skilled at.

Just as Cloud began to become truly entranced with the display before him, Roxas jumped away from the battle. He landed on the building's front steps and paused. Slowly, he turned his face up.

It took almost half a second to register, and then Cloud's breath caught in his throat. He knew he should run back now more than before, needed to if he wanted to honor Riku's request, but his feet were rooted. A few more Heartless died at Roxas's hands, and then his feet were actually on the side of the building. He was running up. Riku stepped closer to the edge.

* * *

**_So there are several things I can say at this juncture, and being the wordy person that I am, of course you all know that I will say them._**

**_First off, let me be the first to comment on this chapter number. Fifty. Fifty out of one-hundred, and it's only now that I'm starting to feel like I'm getting somewhere (no pun intended). Because, yes, now I can say only 50 to go!_**

**_::sigh::_**

**_But really, the number will be getting smaller than what I've already written from here, and for that along I have a rejuvenated sense of excitement for this journey Cloud and Riku are taking together._**

**_The second thing I'd like to touch upon is that, yes, we're in Deep Dive right now. And I'm sure you all might hate me for letting you hang on Deep Dive while Cloud is watching the whole scenario. Let me just say, however, that Square Enix is evil, because there are seriously more places than needed that Square stuck pieces of this scene. I've referenced Another Side, Another Story, Deep Dive, Twilight Town Day 6, and that extra scene from KHII: FM for this and the next chapter. Many times._**

**_Do yourself all a favor, though. After this or after the next chapter (sure it doesn't matter which) go sit and actually watch these scenes again. I knew what happens and what poor Riku was getting himself into, but I went, sat down, and put on Deep Dive. The second Riku came on I said, "There's our boy." And this sudden, profound sadness I wasn't expecting to feel just washed over me. Then again, Riku tributes on YouTube can really depress me, so maybe I'm being overdramatic about it._**

**_Lastly, I'll also be the first to say that I technically didn't post a day later as it is, technically, Thursday instead of Wednesday. But I am still awake on the day after I posted the last two chapters, so it also technically counts. Hm..._**

**_Anyway, a brief note to the reviewers and I'm off again. I have a Deep Dive segment to finish._**

**Jediempress**: Why was I not surprised when you were the first to review? Ah, yes. Because you are always online. That's right. Which, you know, is a good thing for me because I so enjoy our correspondance. Anyway, yeah, I did bring up the wing. I had to. Eventually. I was trying to avoid it, because it's just weird and I don't really understand why it's there in the first place but goes missing for the second game, but you mentioned it so I just had to.

**Riku-Rocks**: I've tried to make their relationship as realistic as possible, so showing off all their sides was really important. Plus I also wanted to highlight them actually growing together as a couple and as people, so yeah . . . Looks like I'm doing all right. Let me know if I start to screw it all up.

**The Glass Slipper**: Glad to hear from you again. Yeah, I don't know where Cloud's commitment talk came from. That was all him. I just wrote it out. One second they were bantering as per usual and then all of a sudden Cloud wanted to talk about commitment so I rolled with it. Glad I did. Best chapter ever is hard to top, but I will continue to try.

**Kasai**: I'm happy to be back as well. I just don't really understand because Riku takes off the blindfold, and then when he changes back, it's on again. But sure. I'll just roll with that.

**Koji Inari**: ADD is fun. Yes, I saw Dirge was completed. I read it in between finishing chapter 49 and writing chapter 50. I knew it was going to be depressing. It wasn't as depressing as I expected from you, but it left me sad all the same. You're evil, but it's your story, and the ending is appropriate. I'll give you that much. I also feared you would tell me that VD will take a long time to update because I find myself thinking about it a lot, but once again, I have no room to talk considering how long I tend to take at times.

**Soul Writer of Dark Truth**: Yay! Another double update! WOOT! WOOT!

**Lady Karai**: Yeah, my dialogue . . . I've been trying to write more prose lately, which of course leads me to excesses of introspection, but I really need to work on it because dialogue has always been my strong point. At least that's what they said when I was in school, and I continue to hear it from my reviewers. Just the other night a friend of mine was reading the prologue for an upcoming story that I'm working on and she just laughed and told me she has no idea where I come up with this dialogue. So, yeah. If you notice more prose, it's because I'm trying to work on it. And as far as realism, that's just me going, "If Riku's blindfolded, how the hell does he know where he's going?" Because I overanalyze. So that's really just a fluke. I'll take credit for it, though. Go me.

**Deinde**: Oh, dear. I don't think I could ever nitpick a chapter for three months. I hate editting, and if I was reworking it so long I think I would just erase everything and start over. We all work in our own ways, I suppose. You're welcome for thanking me for writing this story. It's been a lot of hard work, but I'm having a good time so I guess it's worth it. I'm glad you're enjoying.

**_Once again, big thank you to everyone--reviews and non-reviewers, the people on alert and favorite lists, and anyone who has actually read 50 chapters of this so far. Here's to fifty more._**

**_Cheers._**


	51. Deep Dive

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 051. Chocolate

**Word Count**: 3,679

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Um, yeah. Deep Dive. 'Nuff said.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, okay? It's all lies. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I don't know anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I am not affiliated with anyone who is affiliated with anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts. I think that about covers it.

**Author's Note**: If you're reading this, please take the time to look at the prompt (again, if you already did), and do what I did when I got to this point. Okay, everyone, say it with me: "What?" Right. What am I supposed to do with _chocolate_ in Deep Dive? Because chocolate is kind of right in the middle of my perfectly orchestrated story arc planned around the prompts. Except chocolate. Which falls exactly where the Deep Dive sequence needs to occur. But prompts are up to interpretation, right? So here's what I came up with: bittersweet. Let's see if I managed to pull it off, shall we? Onward.

* * *

**_Step Fifty-One: Deep Dive_**

Riku waited.

Somewhere below, he knew Cloud sat in the alleyway, waiting in the shadows in the off chance an Organization member that wasn't Roxas came along. It made the situation more intense, this waiting and knowing, because even from atop this building with the wind whipping at his face Cloud's scent carried through the air. His worries and concern laced the smell of light and dark that Riku identified as solely Cloud; it pulled at his heart. He should have never gotten involved, should have never dragged Cloud into this.

Anxiety wasn't even the right word for this anymore. It couldn't exist for this moment in time, because it would only make this fight harder, but Riku couldn't shake the sense he sat on the brink of something completely life-altering. This encounter would come tonight; there was no doubt in his mind that Roxas would show up eventually. All he had to do was remain patient.

There weren't many ways it could end. Either he would die at Roxas's hands or he'd manage to knock the boy out long enough to take him back to DiZ. It might happen as himself or as Ansem, but that didn't matter. Nothing really matter right now except the end result.

Time stretched out as he crouched there in the rain. It was so appropriate, the weather. It hadn't rained once since he came to the World That Never Was, but on this night it was as if the skies were already crying for him—an omen of what was to come. Or maybe they weren't crying for him at all. Maybe they were crying for Roxas. After all, Riku didn't know what would happen to him if taken to DiZ, but maybe that didn't matter, either. He was a Nobody. He wasn't supposed to exist in the first place.

Riku willed a resolve of steel into his body, even as his muscles cramped from sitting in a crouched position for such a prolonged period of time. He recalled the image of Sora's face to mind—reminded himself why he was doing this in the first place. Clear blue eyes, brown chocolate hair, and a smile that could make you melt. Riku didn't ever want to forget that face again. He hated himself for forgetting it in the first place.

He didn't know how long he sat there staring into nothing and waiting for the scent in the air to change. Eventually the empty smell of darkness—a smell he'd become so familiar with in Castle Oblivion—carried through the wind and mixed with the moist smell of rain. He heard footsteps splashing through the puddles below. Even Cloud's smell changed below—there was fear mixed in with his emotions now. Riku shook his head. How had things come to this?

As the steps grew closer, the scent became stronger, and mixed with the darkness was a sliver of light. Something that smelled like cinnamon and paopu fruits. Something that was so reminiscent of Destiny Islands and Sora that Riku didn't hesitate in standing. Roxas was here; it was time. He took a step toward the edge.

The smell of the Heartless joined the other scents. The sound of Keyblades swinging through the air and slicing them down reached his ears. Riku almost laughed as the absurd thought struck him that he thought he had it bad walking around this place with one Keyblade. Poor Roxas had two of them. He couldn't imagine how many Heartless he managed to call out to with those things. They weren't just any Keyblades, either. Oblivion and Oathkeeper if he remembered correctly—two very powerful weapons.

Riku kept his head down, following Roxas's movements through smell. He tried to sense his emotions, but found none. It didn't escape him that Cloud's smell hadn't faded, either, but that couldn't bother him now. He turned his face to the sky and took a breath.

It all seemed to happen very quickly. Riku took another step toward the edge, and then he felt a pair of eyes upon him. Roxas knew he was there. The kid was even better than Riku had taken him for. It didn't bode well for what was about to occur, and just as quickly as he'd felt Roxas's eyes upon him, he felt Roxas move toward him. Riku didn't know how, but in some way Roxas was scaling the building, and he was doing it fast. He took another step toward the ledge and another breath.

"Here goes nothing," said Riku.

The wind beat against his face; the rain fell heavy. Riku waited for his instinct to kick in as Roxas grew closer, and then he felt Oblivion part with Roxas's hand. The Keyblade flew through the air with a malicious force behind it—one Riku had never felt from a Keyblade before. Instinct kicked in; Riku dove from the ledge, falling fast, headfirst toward the ground.

It wasn't one of those instances where time seems to pause or fall into slow-motion. It all felt faster. So sped up that there was just enough time to register what had already happened. He couldn't plan, couldn't assess the situation. There wasn't an allowance for delay; time was short, cruel, and unforgiving.

Riku acted on instinct. He shot his arm out on the descent and caught Oblivion in his grip. He felt Roxas pass as he plummeted toward the ground. Felt Roxas turn around and fall after him. Riku swallowed as he picked up speed, judged the distance he had to go and the speed with which he was falling on the Heartless below. He curled into himself, held Oblivion out, and the Keyblade struck the ground. Riku bent his elbow into the impact and flipped over. Knees bent, his feet touched the ground. He exhaled.

The Way to the Dawn lay forgotten, strapped to his side beneath his cloak. Riku readjusted his grip on Oblivion and pulled it from the ground, swung out, and connected with a group of neoshadows. They dissipated into the black-purple flames that Riku could smell a world away. From behind, Roxas's scent grew stronger, and then he, too, was on his feet, and they stood back to back.

"I told you to get out of here," said Roxas.

"What's the matter, Sora? Aren't you happy to see me?"

"I am not Sora."

"Glad we've got that straightened out."

Riku waited for Roxas to attack, but it didn't come. He waited for Roxas to try and take Oblivion back, but that didn't happen, either. Instead, he fought off the Heartless that continued their assault, and when he felt Roxas jump into the fray, Riku dove, too. He understood. The showdown hadn't started yet. There were other problems to face first, and there were three Keyblades calling out to them. It was impossible to hold a proper showdown until they were gone.

With every shadow and neoshadow that fell, it seemed thrice the amount cropped up in its place. The sound of Oblivion and Oathkeeper slicing through the air cut through his ears; the smell of darkness bathed the field. Its stench crawled into his senses, reeking in a way that on top of this world smelled worse than anything he'd come across since Ansem. Over time, as Riku's arms began to grow weary and his resolve started to crack, the Heartless began to smell fewer. Roxas's scent became stronger, and Riku tried to steady his confidence.

Cloud's scent was still in the air. Riku would have been angry that Cloud ignored his request, but he shouldn't have expected anything less. Besides, the light cut through the darkness just enough to remind Riku why this was so important. He recalled Sora's face once again. DiZ said he was needed if Sora was to awaken; he had to trust him. There was no option to back down. This could only end in so many ways.

He felt the last of the shadows diminish and spun around involuntarily. He swung upward; Oblivion clanged against Oathkeeper's strike.

"Nice blindfold. What happened? Your eyes didn't change back or something?"

Riku twisted his wrist, gave it a flick, and extended his arm. Roxas blocked the attack.

"It's a fashion statement. So how are you coping with the knowledge that your other half lives?" Anger built in Roxas, radiating through the Oathkeeper. He felt it swinging toward him, and Riku parried. "Not well, then."

"Shut up. I'm not Sora, and even if I once was, I wouldn't go back to him."

"Why not? Sora's a sweet guy. You'd like him. Then again, he is you, so maybe you wouldn't. I don't know how you're self-esteem issues are these days."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not Sora?"

"Only once if I believed you."

Roxas didn't hold back. He wasn't as strong with only one Keyblade, his attacks easier to fend off than last time, but he was more bloodthirsty and ruthless than before. Nobodies weren't supposed to have emotions, but Riku sensed fear in him. The hostility that intermingled with that fear made Roxas more headstrong, and he struck out at every opportunity. His energy was limitless. While Riku managed to get in more blows than the last times, Roxas got more. He struck harder, faster, but Riku didn't back down. The more he mentioned Sora and continued to taunt, the more that fear grew. He needed to exploit it; he needed to make Roxas slip up. It was his only chance.

His muscles ached; his head was dizzy. He bled freely from his left arm, but Riku ignored the pain. He blocked out everything around them. At the moment (as far as Riku was concerned), the only living creatures were he and Roxas, and the only world that existed was the World That Never Was.

"Come on, Sora. You can do better than that."

"Stop saying his name. I don't want to hear it."

"Sora, why do you have to be like that? I thought we were friends."

"I'm not Sora, and I'm not your friend. I hate you. I hate you, and as a matter of fact, I hate Sora, too."

"You can't hate Sora. Nobodies can't have feelings. They have no hearts. Now, you do have a heart, but Sora's got it, so if you want to hate me you'll just have to go back and be Sora again."

Roxas struck out. Pain shot through Riku's arm into his shoulder like a stream of fire burning through his flesh. He laughed.

"You're very defensive about this," said Riku. "What wrong? Are you feeling threatened?"

Roxas pressed Oathkeeper back against Oblivion, attempting to break Riku's hold. He could hear Roxas's teeth grit.

"Hardly. You just happen to annoy the living shit out of me."

"Sora, what kind of word is that to say? I should tell your mother."

"Shut up!"

Roxas pulled back a fraction and then shoved forward. The inertia was stronger than expected. Riku flew back. His spine slammed into the ground; his head snapped back against the concrete. Blinding pain coursed through his body. Roxas didn't stop. He continued to approach, and as he came closer, Riku struggled to sit.

"Think about it!" said Riku. "Really think about it! Why? Why do you have the Keyblade?"

"Shut up!"

Anger tore through Roxas. He lunged, but Riku leaped forward. The pain burned straight through his back, but he swung out, meeting Roxas's blow and sending him flying across the space. A heavy thud crashed through the air. The sound of rain remained.

Riku swallowed as he stared into black, seeing and unseeing. The adrenaline from the fight and the will to survive started to ebb when Roxas did not move to stand. Exhaustion took over, and relief blocked out the pain. He did not have to give in to Ansem. He'd won. It was over.

He trudged toward where Roxas lay. Riku launched Oblivion to the right of Roxas's left arm, pinning his robe to the ground. Everything was going to be okay now. He just needed to take a few breaths and call for Cloud. They could take Roxas back to DiZ together, and should Roxas wake before they got there, he'd have some reinforcement, but the battle was over. Everything was going to be okay.

It was one of those moments where time stood still as Riku tried to calm, but then Roxas began to move again. Riku's breath caught and he took a step back as Roxas sat up. He gripped Oblivion for support, and Riku had a fraction of a second to realize that he'd just given Roxas back the other Keyblade. It wasn't over. He had two again, and Riku's adrenaline was wasted. Roxas got to his feet and swung, but it was a tired swing, and Riku jumped back out of range. His head felt ready to split apart.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. Roxas ran at him, recovering faster from the knockout that Riku anticipated. The will to survive returned; there was no time to grab for his Keyblade. A Dark Fiagra shot from his heart and through his hands. It hit Roxas head on, but didn't deter him. Roxas continued to charge. It seemed that his will to survive, too, had returned stronger than ever.

Riku dodged the attacks now having no means of blocking them. He tried to think fast, come up with a solution, but Roxas was on the hunt and Riku had no time for the Way to the Dawn. One move for it and he was bound to get cut down. He jumped back and paused, waiting for the next blow, but Roxas stayed put.

"Quit fooling around," said Roxas.

Riku took a breath. This was okay. Talk was good. Talk gave time to stall, and Riku smiled because usually it was he attempting to stall. This time it was Roxas. He was more tired than he let on. Hope returned.

"What's wrong, Sora? Are you done already? Pretty pathetic."

Riku could practically see Roxas's growling at him.

"What are you talking about? You're the one who's losing!"

Roxas gasped. Riku paused, and then it sunk in. He hadn't denied it that time. It was the final confirmation he needed.

"You really are his Nobody . . . I guess I have to trust DiZ."

"Why do you keep talking about him? I'm myself! I'm me!"

The familiar clang of the Keyblade cut through the rain. Oathkeeper was back and as good as talk was . . . Roxas had found a renewed energy. Riku felt it building across the gap between them. His hope crashed.

Roxas came running toward him, struck with Oblivion, but Riku dodged. Before he had time to recover, Oathkeeper swung down into his right shoulder. Riku reeled back, the new pain overpowering his will. He fell to his knees, cried out, and grasped at the new injury with his good hand. He tried to lift his arm, but the pain was too intense. His fighting arm was, once again, out of commission.

The thought that Roxas took cheap shots briefly flitted through his mind.

"You can't beat me, no matter how much you try!" said Roxas.

"I guess so . . ." said Riku. He heard Cloud's voice in his head, promising that everything would be okay. They had a back up plan. A plan only to be used should there be no other way he was going to win this fight. "Looks like I have to do it."

"Do what?" said Roxas.

Riku struggled to his feet.

"The power sitting in my heart . . . The power suppressed by my heart . . ." Riku reached up and pulled the blindfold away. He struggled to breathe. "If I were to be someone else . . ."

The pain was intense, burning in his muscles, in his head, in his heart as Riku tapped into that darkness he'd tried so hard to lock away. An agonized scream drowned out the sound of rain, and it was only later that Riku realized it had come from him. A tornado of the black-purple smoke shot up in flames around him; he felt his feet leave the ground, and then the pain was gone. The flames diminished. The ground was several inches farther away than it had been seconds ago and his skin was not his own. A new pain settled, this time in his chest, and Riku knew what it was really like to feel your heart break.

He continued to float for a few seconds, unaware as to why until he realized Ansem's guardian was there. He warped across the space, appeared before Roxas, and their eyes met. His fingers wrapped around Roxas's neck and he lifted him from the ground. Roxas grunted, struggled, wrapped his hands around Riku's and tried to pry him away, but Riku was stronger now. He held tight. Oathkeeper and Oblivion fell from Roxas's hands, hit the ground, and disappeared.

"The power of darkness," said Riku.

-----0-----

Roxas continued to struggle. Riku simply waited until he fell into unconsciousness, and then he touched ground. The guardian disappeared, and Riku laid Roxas to the ground. He stared down for several seconds, waiting for him to get up again. It didn't happen this time. The victory and relief he hoped to feel weren't there, either. It hadn't been a victory, only a completed task.

He tried to organize his thoughts, plan his next move, but the familiar sound of a dark portal cut through the quiet. The rain had stopped by now. Riku looked in its direction, half-expecting Maleficent to step out, but it was only DiZ. Riku turned away and pulled the hood over his head and face. DiZ's footsteps came closer and Riku turned his head to the side in his direction.

"He sensed Sora," said Riku.

"Did he say that he hated Sora?" Riku didn't reply. "What a joke. A Nobody cannot feel emotion."

"If he were to meet Sora . . . That might be different."

"A foolish thought. Now come. We must return him to the mansion. I have something set up for him, and he'll have pursuers wanting to take him back. It is not wise to stay here too long."

Riku shook his head.

"In a minute. I have something I have to take care of first."

DiZ nodded. He stepped forward and pulled Roxas from the ground.

"Do you know the way?"

"No, but I know someone who does."

"You have ten minutes. Don't be late."

Riku nodded. He heard the dark portal open, close, and then DiZ was gone. Closing his eyes, he brought a hand to his head. Tears started to well behind his eyelids. This was so wrong. This body felt wrong. This wasn't his hand. As the saline began to flow freely across his cheeks, another set of footsteps broke the moment, only these were footsteps Riku would know anywhere. He looked up.

"I told you to leave. I told you I didn't want you to see this."

"I couldn't take not knowing," said Cloud. He stopped in front of Riku and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I just . . . I couldn't stop once it started."

"I'm sorry . . ."

"Don't apologize. I saw it all. You did everything you could. I'm proud of you."

"But I . . ."

"Got really ugly, Ansem-looking. I knew it was a real possibility, Ri. I just hoped it wouldn't happen."

"Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

"You know what this means, don't you?"

"What?"

Riku released a weak laugh and shrugged.

"Sora can't know about us. I don't . . . I don't want him to see me this way. If we were on good terms the last time we saw each other, maybe, but . . . I don't want more lies, but after everything, this really isn't the way I want him to see me again."

"Yeah, I get it." Cloud stepped closer. He reached a hand out, retracted a little, and then extended it to cup the back of Riku's head. "This is going to be awkward."

"Please don't remind me."

"I'll just have to get used to it. That's all. It's not every day your boyfriend goes and gets such a dramatic makeover. And you're a lot taller than me now. That's just not fair."

"How? How can you make jokes about this? How can you stand to be near me when I look like this?"

"Because if we don't laugh about it, we're going to get bitter and depressed, and I was forced to promise I wouldn't let you pull away. Besides, I told you that this wouldn't change how I feel about you, and it doesn't. I'm proud of you. I love you. And Ri?"

"What?"

"It still _feels_ like you. If I close my eyes . . ." Cloud did so and his hand slipped down to the back of Riku's neck. "If I close my eyes, I can still see you in there. I just have to get used to it."

"You're so deranged. If this were the other way around, I don't think I could ever get used to you looking like Sephiroth."

Cloud laughed.

"Yeah, I guess it would be hard dating someone who could pass for your brother."

"Huh?"

"Sephiroth. You look just like him. Well, I mean, not right _now_, but you did. You know, the way _you_ look."

Riku groaned.

"Oh, I have so lost you already. We're never going to make it through this."

"Hey, don't say that. It hasn't even been a year yet. We still got a month of easy."

"Why are you being so good about this?"

"Because I know it's only for now. I know you can beat this. Now come on. DiZ only gave you ten minutes. We've got to get you back to Twilight Town."

"Okay. Lead the way."

Cloud nodded.

"Yeah. No problem."

* * *

**_I am both extremely nervous and extremely happy about how this came out. It is possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to write._**

**_And now I've watched all the Deep Dive cutscenes more than any normal person should, so a big thanks to kh-vids for that one._**

**_And before anyone says, "Wow. Cloud took that awfully well," just let me say that, yes, he did. ::cackles:: For now. Oh the fun I will have torturing these two with this move Square decided was necessary for Riku's character development._**

**_And yes, there is a lot more in store for Riku despite his significant absence from the second game._**

**_Oh, how I look forward to Leon finding out. I have this fantastic little scene that's been in my head since December that I am thrilled about coming up soon. Because of course Leon's going to find out whether Riku tells Cloud no one can find out or not. I think we all remember what happened the last time Cloud tried to keep something from Leon._**

**_Heh._**

**_Um, so yeah. Thanks to the few people who managed to actually read and get a review in between that double post and this post. I had to finish the arc off, you know? I couldn't just let it hang there. You know, for my own sake._**

**_Next two prompts are Leaving (Cloud) and Returning (Riku). So I guess you know something about what to expect._**

**_Until then._**

**_Love._**


	52. Wrong

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**:052. Leaving

**Word Count**: 4,361

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: It's just sad when Leon's the well-adjusted one, isn't it?

**Disclaimer**: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I'm sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let's face it: I don't even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there's no proof of, because I'm deluded like that.

* * *

**_Step Fifty-Two: Wrong_**

The darkness of the World That Never Was grew more distant and less sinister as the light of Twilight Town neared. Adrenaline coursed through his body; his mind moved faster than his feet would allow. His muscles shook, threatening to collapse. A pounding ache thrust against his skull. His limbs twitched and trembled.

Time felt all wrong. It moved too fast and too slow. Twilight Town hadn't seemed so far away when he came to fetch food. DiZ gave Riku ten minutes to stay in the World That Never Was, but it seemed like only seconds. In a fraction of a moment, his entire world turned upside down, and it was followed by their first walk through the darkness together. As long as this walk took, Cloud knew that the second they arrived back in the mansion it would only be another fraction of a moment. They'd say goodbye—no tears, no hugs—and Cloud would find himself back on his Gummi set in the direction of Hollow Bastion (which was another time issue, because it felt like years since he'd said goodbye to Leon).

This was, as Cloud thought, their first walk through the darkness together. While this was still a new experience for him, it was Riku's prime mode of travel. He'd heard about Riku's portals so many times, was amazed that Riku hadn't lost his heart to Ansem sooner on his first journey, and now when everything had just changed so drastically, they hurried through these corridors together. Stranger yet, Cloud led the way.

He gripped Riku's hand as he steered the course, but that felt wrong, too. The hand was too large, too wide. Riku's palms were calloused from the various weapons he wielded over the past year, but the back of his hands were soft and smooth. The hand he held now was rougher to the touch. The planes dipped at the wrong angles, curved at the wrong places. The fingers were too long.

Cloud said that he still felt Riku, could still see him when he closed his eyes, and it was true. What was wrong about it all was that underneath that essence (that sense that made Riku Riku) there was a darkness that didn't belong there. It was something Cloud had always sensed there, something that was the strongest right before he fell into the realm of darkness, but it had never overshadowed the light and dark that belonged solely to Riku. Now it was stronger than ever before, and like the light was faint in these corridors, Riku was a sliver buried beneath Ansem's strength.

Cloud took a breath and trudged forward. He knew in his heart that this would all be fixed eventually. He could still see it in those eyes that didn't belong to Riku. He could feel it in the embrace of Riku's hand held tight around his. It didn't stop the pain filling his heart with every step toward Twilight Town, because as much as he wanted to get out of here, he knew it was one more step toward seeing Ansem in Riku's place again.

It just wasn't right. Ansem didn't belong there. Riku was just . . . not a boy. He was a teenager. He was a normal teenager stifled for independence by a family that loved him so much it got smothering. A normal teenager with a healthy sense of curiosity about the world around him and his place in it. He had a healthy level of love, friendship, and loyalty that he bestowed freely upon those in his life. So he went and got mixed up in some bad business. Cloud understood; he'd been there, but he'd never had to endure this.

In a way, Cloud was glad he hadn't listened to Riku's request. It made the outcome a little less unendurable. He'd fought his heart out, did everything he could, but Roxas was stronger. Maybe Roxas couldn't tell, but Cloud knew Riku. Even with the blindfold on, it was easy to see the pain etched across his face. He moved through that fight with care, subconsciously guarding injuries from further damage. In the end, he had to give himself up. It was unfair.

"I got it," said Riku.

The voice broke the silence (it, too, was all wrong), and Cloud realized they were at the exit back into Twilight Town. He almost questioned how Riku knew, but remembered how stupid a question it was at the last second. Of course Riku knew. As far as Riku was concerned, this was the only way to travel.

Cloud stepped through the portal, and then they were side by side in the mansion basement. Riku's hood was still up.

"I guess this is goodbye, then," said Riku. "I have to get back to DiZ. See if he needs my help with anything."

"All right. I'll call you."

"Yeah. Okay."

Cloud shuffled his feet. His eyes fell to their still-clasped hands. He gave a squeeze.

"I don't want to leave you like this."

Riku sighed. He pried his fingers from Cloud's and let their fingertips linger for a second longer than normal.

"I don't want you to leave, either, but . . . It's going to be okay, right? I'm going to beat Ansem, become me again, and everything's going to be better than it's ever been. I don't really want to go back to how it used to be. It used to suck then, too."

Cloud laughed and nodded. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. After all, I have to come live with you on Destiny Islands."

"Yeah, see? I'm going to go back to school, and you're going to bitch about the humidity on the Islands. We couldn't do that if this didn't end. I'm going to be okay."

"But you aren't right now . . ."

"No . . ."

"Which is kind of why I don't want to leave you like this."

Riku nodded.

"I know, but you have to. DiZ is going to need me to help with Sora, and I can't keep you from Sephiroth. You have to get back out there and finish things so we can be together."

"Promise me that we'll still find time to see each other. Even before you finish things."

"Sure. I mean, you won't really see _me_, but, you know . . ." Riku paused. "I really hate this."

"I don't like it, either."

"As long as you aren't leaving me."

"I'm not. I'm just . . . I'm just a little more anxious for you to finish off Ansem, I guess. I was anxious before, but now . . ."

"I don't expect this to be easy for you to deal with. I don't even care if you hate me for doing it or you don't want to be with me until it's over. I just don't want to lose you over this. I want that much clear."

"I can promise you that you won't. And I don't hate you."

"I know you don't. Always above and beyond the call of duty."

"It's not duty, Ri. I wouldn't still be with you if it was duty. I'm not very good at duty."

Riku looked away.

"I know. Now get out of here, why don't you? I'm sure my ten minutes are up by now."

"I love you."

"I love you, too. I'll call you."

"Not if I call you first."

"Keep me updated."

"I will. That goes for you, too."

"Promise."

Cloud nodded. Under ordinary circumstances, he'd have kissed Riku goodbye and reluctantly left, but Riku looked like Ansem now. His hood was still up, concealing all glimpses of the change in visage. Even his voice was different, and it didn't help matters that since Riku returned from that long separation with the realm of darkness, they hadn't parted for longer than a few days. The standard reluctance upgraded to heartbreak.

He took one last look at the Organization robe and tried to steel his nerves. Cloud nodded once more in Riku's direction and walked through the door. He was aware of Riku's eyes on his back until he turned toward the stairs out of the computer room and Riku's sight.

-----0-----

Riku called once during Cloud's trip back to Hollow Bastion. Their conversation was brief. Cloud had nothing exciting to tell about the Gummi, and Riku didn't have much time until he needed to return to whatever assignment DiZ had him on that day. He heard a bit about Naminé, the girl repairing Sora's memories. She was, apparently, a Nobody as well, though Riku had no idea whose even though they struck up some sort of friendship and Riku swore he knew the girl besides their encounter in Castle Oblivion. He'd seen Sora again, asleep in some pod, and his memories were starting to return, which had significantly lifted his spirits (Cloud had the feeling Riku's outlook on the Ansem situation was tangent to Sora's success against Organization XIII). As far as Roxas's state, he got through something about computer programs, virtual reality, and an alternate Twilight Town before he lost Cloud all together. He gently reminded Riku that he knew nothing about computers and never understood a damn thing he or Leon said about them before Riku laughed, called him hopeless, and said he had to get back to DiZ.

The rest of the journey was lonely and uneventful. He picked up the phone several times to call Leon, Aerith, and Tifa, but put it back down before he managed to press send. There would be too many questions to answer, and it was probably best to skirt the issue in person. Riku didn't want anyone to know, and while Cloud knew they wouldn't look down on him for it, he understood. Unfortunately, it put Cloud in a sticky situation. One in which everyone had to lie to Sora now instead of just he and Leon, and they would have to do it without any real explanation. Aerith might understand, and would be good at convincing the others to trust his judgment, but Leon would want answers. Cloud spent most of his travel time trying to come up with some, but when he set the Gummi down in Cid's new garage, he was no where closer than he'd been back in the World That Never Was.

"Welcome back, Spike," said Cid, coming around the side of the building. There were grease stains across his face; a cigarette hung from his lips. Cloud shook his head.

"You back on that again?"

"Gets hard to quit with Leon and your boyfriend around. How'd that go, anyway? Did you find him?"

Cloud shrugged. He slung his duffel bag over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I found him. I have a lot to tell everyone, but I'd like to get some rest first. It's been an exhausting week."

Cid nodded and scratched his nose.

"Yeah, sure. Go get some sleep. I'll let everyone know you're home."

"Thanks. Could you also let everyone know I don't want to even attempt to talk about it until tomorrow, too? I don't want the circus barging in on me before I've managed to settle."

"That bad, huh?"

"Bad doesn't begin to cover it. Is the King still here?"

"Left the day after you did. Said he had some stuff to take care of before things started again."

"Figures. Okay. I'm gonna take off. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure. Take your time. But . . ."

Cloud turned back. He raised his eyebrows.

"What?"

"He is okay, isn't he? Still breathing?"

"Yeah, he's alive. It's just a long, disastrous story that I don't really care to relive until I've gotten a good night's sleep in a real bed."

Cid took one last puff on his cigarette and threw it into the grass.

"Got cha. Rest up, kid. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Yep."

Cloud turned away and walked in the direction of the borough. He hoped Leon wasn't home yet. If he could sip into bed and sleep before Leon came home, maybe he really could get that well-needed rest. Maybe if Leon was there, he'd be kind enough to notice the dark circles under his eyes and just one "I don't want to talk about it right now" would suffice.

Leon wasn't home yet, though, and he wasn't home for another twenty minutes. Cloud didn't get that well-needed rest, either, because twenty minutes later when Leon walked up to the house, he found Cloud still standing outside it. Still standing there with the duffel bag slung over his shoulders, weary face contorted, staring at the front door as if it were going to bite. Leon paused several steps away and surveyed the scene.

"The knob turns to the right," said Leon after several seconds passed and Cloud continued to fail to notice his presence. Cloud jerked.

"Huh?"

"The doorknob. It turns to the right."

"Oh. Yeah. I know."

"How long have you been standing out here?"

"I don't know."

Leon frowned, staring at Cloud before he passed, opened the door, and yanked Cloud inside. He took the duffel bag away and slung it onto the chair. He pointed toward the couch.

"Sit. I suppose you need something stronger than coffee?"

Cloud shook his head.

"As much as I'd love to drink right now, it's not a good idea. There's too much shit to not explain tomorrow."

"You don't want to drink? How bad did it go?" Cloud shrugged. Leon stilled in the living room, and then grabbed the ashtray. He sat on the floor and lit up. "You found him, though, right? I tried calling, but you had your phone off."

"Yeah. I found him."

"Am I going to be okay on seven cigarettes, or should I get another pack from my room before you start?"

"I don't want to talk about it tonight."

"Yeah, Cid said. He came by Merlin's to tell us you were back and that you'd talk tomorrow, but I figured I'd catch you tonight if I still could. Might want a little extra support."

"As great as that would be, I'm really not up to it, and you're the one I'm dreading the most."

Leon frowned.

"What happened?"

"That's just it. I can't tell you."

"Huh?"

Cloud sighed. He raked a hand through his hair and looked around the living room.

"Can we go somewhere else to talk about this? It's . . . this house . . . he was just here . . ."

Leon perked up.

"Cid said he wasn't dead or anything . . ."

"No, he's not. It's just . . ."

"Cloud, you live here. Deal with it. Now talk."

"I can't. He made me promise that no one would find out." Cloud laughed; his hand moved from his hair to rub across his face. "Oh, yeah, by the way, when Sora-the-Keyblade-master comes back, he can't know about me and Riku again. Can't even know that any of us have even met Riku. So, yeah, I know that needs explaining, too, but I can't give you an answer for that one, either."

Leon's eyes narrowed. He searched Cloud's face for a few seconds, his lips pressed tight together.

"Sora can't know again?" said Leon. Cloud nodded. "And whatever happened with that Roxas kid Riku doesn't want us to know, either."

"That's right."

"Any of us."

"Right."

"Even me."

"He didn't single you out. He just made me promise that no one would find out what happened."

"Even me."

"You were included, yes."

Leon shrugged. He put out his cigarette in the tray and lit another. His hands shook. Cloud sighed.

"Don't be like this. He doesn't mean it personally."

"No, of course not. I just . . ." Leon snorted. "I just thought he might have realized by now that he could trust me. I just thought that maybe you could trust me. It's not like I've ever fucked either one of you over. I just lived with the two of you. I just kept your fucking secret. Who am I?"

"Don't be like this. Seriously. If you knew . . ."

"I don't know. That'd kind of the point."

"Please, Lee, don't do this. I can't take much more of this."

"You can't take much more of this? I don't even know what happened. I know you were off to some world through corridors of darkness that you shouldn't be in, but besides that . . . You've been gone for days. Your phone's been off. I guess I just don't understand how we're all friends when he's living here and the second he runs off it becomes just the two of you again. I'm not trying to _get into your relationship_ or anything, but honestly . . ."

"He doesn't mean anything personal by it. This is why I didn't want to tell you tonight. I knew you'd be upset. Listen . . ."

"No, you listen. I'll keep the whole thing from Sora, okay? That's all you really want me to say, right?"

"I don't want you to be angry with me, either. I don't want you to be upset with him. This has been a really bad week, it's a really bad situation, and he's embarrassed, okay? If I wouldn't have been there, I doubt I'd know."

The tension in Leon's face eased a little. He took a slower drag off the cigarette.

"Embarrassed?" he said. "That's it? He's embarrassed about something?"

Cloud groaned and buried his face in his hands.

"I'm trying to come up with a way to explain this to everyone, but I just can't. He doesn't want anyone to know, but yeah, you're included because . . ." Cloud sighed. "He likes you, you know? Your opinion of him means a lot, and . . ."

Leon groaned. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Why don't you just tell me what you can, okay? I won't press the issue."

"Okay, well . . . okay. By the time I got there and found him, he'd already fought Roxas. And he lost. Pretty badly. Roxas . . . While I was there, I was prepping him to fight Roxas again, because Roxas isn't taking to this Sora thing too well."

"What's the purpose of the Roxas kid again?"

"He's Sora's Nobody, and DiZ needs him for Naminé to repair the damage she did to Sora's memories so he can be whole and off fighting the Heartless again."

"And that's when we'll remember him."

"Right. So it was Riku's task to go find Roxas, obtain him, and take him to DiZ."

"Is that taken care of?"

"Yep. Roxas is safely in DiZ's hands and the memory restoration process has started. But to defeat Roxas . . . Roxas is really good. I mean, really _really_ good. He's an amazing fighter. He reminds me of Sephiroth."

"Nice."

"Yeah. He kicked the shit clean out of Ri the first time. Broke his right wrist . . ."

"He's right-handed."

"Exactly. Roxas told him to get the hell out before he killed him, but of course Ri needs him to help Sora. It's the reason he left in the first place."

"So he had to fight him again."

"Yeah, and he was already pretty hopeless after losing the first time. There's more to it, but it's what I can't go into detail about."

"Because he's embarrassed."

"Yeah. So I helped prep him and threw him out to Roxas. I don't know. Maybe I did it too soon."

"Why do you say that? He won, didn't he?"

"He got Roxas, if that's what you mean. He lost in the long run, but that's more of what I can't go into."

Leon frowned and stared at something beyond Cloud. He nodded.

"Has something to do with darkness, though, doesn't it? He had to use the darkness to beat him, and he's beating himself up more than he should about it."

"It's something like that. Let me just put it to you this way. If it had happened to me, I wouldn't want any of you finding out, either. Like Riku, I'd know that you'd understand why I did it, but I'd be too humiliated to actually tell you. And with Sora, it's kind of like . . . The last time they saw each other, Riku was behind the door to darkness, and so much time has passed since. He still has to use the darkness if he wants to survive, and Sora's light. He wants to be in a better place than he is when Sora sees him again, especially if he has to explain why he had us all lie to him in the first place. So . . . is that okay? Will it suffice?"

Leon bit his lip and went to shake his head, but then nodded.

"I get it. I do. I just . . . I'm his friend, too. At least I thought I was, and I care a lot about what happens to him. I don't like being kept in the dark, but I won't say anything to Sora. As far as he's concerned, I don't know anything about Nobodies, Organization XIII, and the only things I know about Riku are the things he's told me."

"He'll come around. Riku, I mean. You are his friend, and as much as it drives me crazy, you do mean a lot to him. He's really come to rely on your support, and I just don't see him not telling you eventually."

"I could be a better friend if he'd confide in me."

Cloud sighed.

"You could call him, you know. His number's in my phone. He'd probably . . . he'd probably really like it. You know. You caring that much to not take no for an answer."

Leon smirked.

"You don't know how entertaining it is to see how much saying that statement physically pained you. You're his boyfriend, Cloud. I'm his friend. I just happen to take my friendships seriously, and it's a good thing for the both of you that I do. Otherwise you'd be driving yourself crazy and Riku would stay holed up and defensive. I think I'm good for your relationship."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Because I can explain your neurotic tendencies to him, and when he's feeling closed off about something that he's too embarrassed to tell you, I can drag it out of him."

"Do you want to kill us, like, ninety percent of the time?"

"Oh, yes. Like right now I'd like to smack Riku upside the head for whatever he's too embarrassed to let you tell me. I can't imagine anything worse than that wing of yours."

"You'd be surprised."

"You think it's worse?"

"Definitely yes."

Leon raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, maybe Riku has a reason to be embarrassed, but that doesn't give him a right to hide from his friends."

"Well his number is in my phone. Call him, because this has, apparently, become about your friendship and I'm not included. I won't intervene."

"Don't be a crybaby. Go to bed."

Cloud smirked and nodded. He left the bag sitting in the living room, dropped his phone onto the coffee table, and walked toward his bedroom. He stopped short of the door and turned back.

"Hey . . ."

"Yeah?" said Leon.

"Thanks. You know, for listening. And for calling Riku."

"I didn't call him yet."

"I know, but you're going to, and I know that I can tell him a thousand times that it's going to be okay, but I think coming from you . . . It's different. You don't _have_ to tell him that, you know? You don't have boyfriend obligations."

"You're just happy that I'm going to suck it out of him because then you can tell me all about how much it's killing you inside."

"Am I that obvious?"

"About as obvious as it is that you're jealous of my friendship with your boyfriend."

"I just . . ."

"You like being the most important person to him. Don't worry. I could never threaten your spot."

"I know. I just wish I could do everything for him, and I can't. Trust me. This is a really messed up situation. Probably more so than Maleficent, and I realize he needs more than just me to get through this. I want to make it all okay, but he needs more support than any one person can give, so thanks."

"It's not a problem. I'm not doing it for you or him. They're nice side effects, but I'm doing it because he's supposed to be my friend and he's keeping things from me. I'm pissed off. I don't put up with his shit for the fun of it."

Cloud laughed.

"Nothing like a good Leon ass-ripping to get your head straight."

"Someone's got to keep you two in touch with humanity."

"You say that like you are."

"Which is why I'm friends with you losers, but that's a good point, Cloud. It's sad when I'm the well-adjusted one."

"You make an excellent point. I'm going to bed."

"Good. You look like shit."

"Yeah, well, I've been distraught."

"I can tell. Sleep. We'll talk to everyone else tomorrow. Aerith is going to take this much better than I did, so at least be happy I'm out of the way."

"I did say you were the one I was dreading."

"Cloud—"

"I'm going."

Cloud caught a glimpse of Leon smile and shake his head. A small reassurance that things really would be okay took over some of the worry as he slipped into the bedroom. He was painfully aware of Riku's absence as he got into their bed, but that sliver of hope eased him into rest. It didn't do well to worry, anyway. Worry wasn't going to change a thing. What had happened had happened and there was nothing to be done about it other than wait and lean on the people you could. Cloud just hoped that when Leon called, Riku would realize that, too.

* * *

**_Ahem . . ._**

**_I know it's the wrong fandom, but do we have any Harry Potter fans out there? Yes? No? Well, either way, you should all know that HP5 movie is out tonight, which means I will not be writing at all tonight. I won't even be thinking about writing tonight. And, like, next Friday night will be the midnight party for the last Harry Potter book, so . . . yeah. There might be an update or two between Wednesday night and next Thursday, but don't expect for like a week after that book. I'm going to have to read, digest, discuss, go online to further discuss, and plot a fanfic. Because Harry Potter is a lifestyle. And I've been MIA from the Ron/Draco community for ages leaving them with nothing but a two and a half year old porn story. Though I guess if you're going to go MIA for that long, promise a story, and deliver it over two years later, it may as well be porn._**

**_But I digress . . ._**

**_The point is that Harry and co. will be intervening with my writing for a short amount of time, and it is possible that I will be sharing time with this story and a HP story in addition to all that other crazy CloudxRiku I like to write. Just thought I'd give everyone a fair warning._**

**_So what to say?_**

**_I had so much positive feedback on the Deep Dive sequence. Made me really pleased with myself because I was awfully worried about it. So thanks everyone for that._**

**_I also had a lot of positive feedback about five chapters in two days, so I guess I'll have to try that again some time. It works for me, too, you know, because while five chapters is a lot in some stories, five chapters to this one is, like, nothing. It's like half a chapter to a normal story. Something like that._**

**_I'd reply to reviews but I am too lazy to go read them._**

**_Until next time (which will be between HP movie 5 and HP book 7), all my love and thanks to the readers (those of you in the review closet count, too), readers who review, and readers who put me or my stories on their favorites/alerts. I appreciate you all._**

**_48 to go. We're starting to get somewhere, people. It's almost like this story will end one day._**

**_-D_**


	53. Goodnight

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**:053. Returning

**Word Count**: 3,204

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Sometimes you find a friend in the most unexpected place. Sometimes you find more than one.

**Disclaimer**: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I'm sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let's face it: I don't even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there's no proof of, because I'm deluded like that.

* * *

**_Step Fifty-Three: Goodnight_**

The basement was empty. Riku eyed the staircase long after Cloud disappeared, long after his footsteps no longer sounded through the mansion. He looked around the computer room, eyeing the monitors and the series of zeros and ones across the screen. His gaze lingered on the strange machine built into the wall.

Riku shook his head. He needed to focus. He had to stop lingering on Cloud's departure and how much it was tearing him apart. There wasn't time for that. DiZ was waiting.

Riku followed the stairs up to a library-type room, found the door, and exited onto a balcony. He peered over the banister. It was a spacious area, lacking warmth reminiscent of the castle in Hollow Bastion. Everything was somewhat ornate and arranged, the place was clean, but it could have been abandoned for how cold it felt.

He followed the balcony toward the stairs and paused. Voices resonated through the room below, and Riku walked to the sound. He pushed the door open. DiZ looked up and a blonde girl peeked around from behind an armchair. Naminé, Riku thought, putting a face to the name for the first time since Castle Oblivion. That was Naminé. On the floor between them lay Roxas, still unconscious.

"You made it," said DiZ. "Took your time, didn't you?"

"Riku, I presume," said Naminé. "It's been a while."

"No," said Riku.

"No?" said Naminé.

Riku steeled his nerves.

"No. I'm not Riku."

DiZ laughed.

"Then who are you, mystery guest?"

Riku shook his head.

"That isn't important."

"Then what shall we call you?"

"Whatever you like."

Naminé turned back to DiZ, frowning.

"I thought Riku was supposed to bring Roxas. Didn't you say you saw him in the World That Never Was?"

"I was the one he saw," said Riku. "Riku tried to obtain Roxas, but he failed, so I stepped in."

Naminé opened her mouth as if to further question, but DiZ cut her off.

"You understand the situation, then."

"I understand you're trying to restore the Keyblade master and that this boy has something to do with it, but what I don't understand is why. Why are you doing this? If I am to help you, I think I'm entitled to know that much."

"I have my reasons. Be patient. Until I'm ready to reveal them, you'll just have to trust me."

These were the kinds of things DiZ said that tended to raise anger in Riku. The man spoke in riddles, would never reveal more than he felt like, and he raised matters of trust into the equation without providing any reasoning behind his actions or why Riku should bother trusting him at all. He _was _entitled to know who DiZ was and why he would want to help Sora, but apparently DiZ didn't agree.

"So what are you plans?" said Riku after a long silence. "I've obtained Roxas. What next?"

"You continue to offer your services without getting the explanation you seek?"

Riku shrugged.

"I want to help, and if you won't tell me, I don't have a choice but wait until you will."

"Why do you want to help?"

From the corner of his eye, Riku saw Naminé's expression change. Her mouth opened, eyebrows raised, and she inched forward in her seat. Her eyes were focused and intense. Riku swallowed.

"I must atone for my sins. That's as much of an answer as I can give."

DiZ stared at him for a few seconds. Riku shifted and readjusted the hood farther over his face.

"The Organization will be looking for Roxas . . ."

"I don't know about that," said Riku. "I spoke to one of their members. He told me to do what I will with Roxas. Said he betrayed them."

"If that is the case, they'll want to punish him."

"I don't know. I kind of thought they might want Sora to reawaken. For what purpose, I don't know, but . . ."

"Maybe that's what they want you to believe to throw you off. We need a place to hide him and a way to keep him in check once he wakes up. He was uncooperative in coming along, I imagine, considering the state of him."

"Uncooperative isn't really the word I would use, but yes. He was reluctant."

"I've been developing a plan since Naminé was unable to raise a response in Sora. If you'd just grab Roxas and follow me . . ."

DiZ walked toward the door and motioned for Naminé and Riku to follow. Riku hesitated, watched Naminé pass, and then he lifted Roxas off the floor, swinging him over one shoulder. He followed them through the mansion, back into that strange library, and down into the computer room again.

"Place him there," said DiZ, motioning to the strange machine Riku had seen earlier. "I want to show you something."

The numbers rearranged themselves on the screen as DiZ typed into the system. Riku dropped Roxas where DiZ indicated under the machine and joined DiZ by the monitors. Naminé hung toward the doorway leading into the dark portal, head touching the wall, watching them.

"What am I looking at here?" said Riku.

"I've created an alternate version of Twilight Town and an identity for Roxas to keep him in check until Sora reawakens." DiZ smiled and turned his head toward Riku. "Don't worry. It's a nice identity."

Naminé giggled. Riku frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

DiZ stood from the computer and walked over to the machine. He motioned for Riku to join, and played with the controls. His gaze drifted down to Roxas.

"He will have memories of a life he's never known. Friends, interests, schoolwork. I've made it as normal as possible to keep his spirits up, especially if we want that piece of Sora's heart to resonate."

"So what's the machine?"

"That machine is the transport between this world and the computer world. A more realistic virtual reality, if you will. With the right settings, the machine will transport anyone under its beam into data and through the program."

"Will it work?"

"If we can maintain the simulated town until Naminé finishes chaining together Sora's memories."

"What will happen to Roxas?"

"He holds half of Sora's power within him. In the end, he'll have to give it back." DiZ turned away and walked back to the monitors. "Until then, he'll need another personality to throw off his pursuers."

So he was going to die, or at least that's what DiZ may as well have said. Riku looked at Roxas lying under the machine. For what a bastard he was, it was unfair. In all honesty, Riku doubted that if he were in Roxas's situation he'd have come quietly, either. Riku shook his head.

"Poor thing."

DiZ sat at the computer and punched a few keys.

"It's the fate of a Nobody."

The strange machine whirled to life. A sequence of numbers swirled around Roxas's body, and then he disappeared into the program.

-----0-----

DiZ gave Riku a bedroom on the first floor. It felt a bit like working for Maleficent again. There was one large goal (restore Sora's memories), a loose plan (maintain the simulated town until goal realized), and a place to store the assistant until he was needed. Everything else would be figured out as the holes started to show and problems interfered. He didn't even know how to work the alternate town, but DiZ promised to show him tomorrow. It would be his duty to keep an eye on Roxas in the computer world while Naminé worked on the memories. DiZ would communicate between the two while overseeing their projects.

Riku shook his head, pulled his cell phone out, and lay in on a bedside table. He propped the Way to the Dawn against the wall by the bed and sank into the mattress.

Cloud was still on his mind, but more so was the exchange in that meeting room. He didn't know why he hadn't told DiZ what happened. Perhaps it was the trust issue. The words just spilled out of his mouth before he could stop them, and the next thing he knew he'd flat out said that Roxas killed him. Who was he supposed to be if not Riku? Riku was who he was even if he was gone in body.

A chill skirted through Riku's spine; he shook. Ansem. That's who he was now to everyone who'd known him. That's who he'd be to Sora. In a way, that's even who he was to Cloud. There was no hiding it. To fight in the darkness, he had to embrace darkness itself, and in doing so . . . His life and identity were all thrown away. He was Ansem now.

Riku's breath caught. He hunched over and pressed his head between his knees. His eyelids squeezed shut; his fingers slipped into the hood. They scrunched and raked through hair that didn't belong to him—hair that felt too long, too straight, and too coarse to be his own. A strangled sob left his throat.

This was for Sora, Riku reminded himself. This was what he needed to do to help his very best friend in the whole world. He was selfish, wanting it to go away. It wasn't like he hadn't lived in darkness before. It was even as if he was actually losing Cloud for good, and even if he did, it was selfish to place his own happiness above Sora's. Not when he was supposed to practically be Sora's brother. Not when he could help and Sora was like this because Riku opened the door to the Heart of Destiny Islands.

Sora wasn't even a memory to those he loved right now, because no one could remember his existence. When Sora was remembered and did awaken, he'd have another task to save the worlds at hand. Riku did this. He made it happen, and he owed it to Sora to help him awaken. So he looked like Ansem right now. He didn't have right to be upset about it. He wouldn't have looked like Ansem if he hadn't let the bastard into his heart in the first place.

Riku pulled himself to his feet, yanking the hood as far over his face as he could manage. He turned the doorknob and wandered back to the balcony stairs. He was behaving like a selfish brat sitting around and brooding like that. He needed a distraction. DiZ was still in the computer room last Riku knew, so he walked the other way on the balcony and followed the path to a door. He knocked once and turned the knob.

The room was immaculate—pure white like the halls of Castle Oblivion. The tables and chairs were white, as were the flowers in the vase. Color splashed white paper on the many drawings hanging on the walls, laying on the floor, and scattered on the table. At a white chair by the door, Naminé looked up and smiled.

"Come in," she said in a calm voice that instantly soothed Riku's nerves. She pointed to a chair. "Have a seat. Close the door behind you."

Riku did as instructed. His eyes searched the room. There was Sora, Donald, and Goofy. Sora and Kairi. Roxas and some Organization member with red, spiky hair more wild than Cloud's or Sora's. A paopu. Destiny Islands.

"Did you draw all these?"

"Yes. From Sora's memories."

"This is amazing."

"Thank you. So tell me: what brings you to my room at this hour, Riku?"

He jerked.

"Excuse me?"

"What happened? Your voice is different."

"How did you know?"

"Your heart. It resonates with Sora's. You're in so many of his memories . . ." Naminé trailed off. She smiled and placed her sketchbook on the table. "It was the darkness in your heart, wasn't it? The piece of Ansem that I offered to seal away."

Riku hung his head.

"Yeah. I couldn't defeat Roxas any other way. It was my only choice."

"You've changed since we last met. You aren't the same boy you were."

"Is that a good thing?"

"I think so." Naminé paused for a good while. She brought a finger to her lips as if in thought, and then she smiled again. "There's more light in your heart even if it is overshadowed by Ansem's darkness. You're more open."

"You're a little easier to talk to than DiZ. I don't really trust him."

"He can seem cold, but he means well."

"Cold is right. Do you think he knows? About me, I mean."

"He seems suspicious, but I don't think he knows. You don't have to hide it, you know. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I just don't want Sora to know. I want to be better off when I see him again, and with DiZ . . . you don't really bother me. I don't feel like I'm being judged, but with DiZ . . . He's so callous. Like the way he acted about Roxas. I don't really hate Roxas, you know. I had to bring him here for Sora's sake, but I don't think it's fair that he has to just disappear as if he's never existed at all. And DiZ says that Nobodies don't even have a right to exist. It seems so wrong to me. I'm going to remember Roxas after this, so he did exist. It's not right to treat him as if he's nothing."

"Nobodies like us are a tricky thing because while we seem to have hearts, we don't. Roxas and I were never supposed to exist, but you can't think so negatively about it. We won't disappear because we're going to be whole again."

"Wait. You're a Nobody, too?"

Naminé nodded.

"Why? Does that surprise you?"

"Yeah. I mean . . . kind of. I thought Nobodies were all . . . empty. But I feel light from you. I felt Sora within Roxas. This whole Nobody thing is really frustrating for me. I'm kind of used to understanding all sorts of strange concepts. Even the Heartless and Kingdom Hearts makes sense to me, but this Nobody business goes right over my head. I just don't get it."

"We aren't empty, Riku. We're just only half a person. Roxas is only part of Sora. I'm only part of a person. That's why we don't disappear. Sora won't be whole until he unites with Roxas again, either." Naminé paused and then jumped to her feet. She giggled a little, grabbed Riku's hands, and tried to pull him up. "Come on. Come with me."

"Why? Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

Riku let Naminé drag him back down the computer room and past the dark portal to the World That Never Was. She went through another door that Riku hadn't noticed before, and they were in a hallway full of flower-shaped chambers. At the turn in the hallway, he caught sight of two figures occupying two of the pods.

"Donald and Goofy," said Riku.

"Don't sound so surprised," said Naminé. She giggled again. "Where did you think we were keeping them?"

"I remember these chambers."

"Some of your memories are starting to return. Sora's progress should start to pick up now that we have Roxas. Soon enough you'll remember everything about him."

Naminé opened another door and Riku followed her inside. The room was so white it looked limitless. There was hardly any telling where the floor met the walls or the distance from Riku's hands to any surface. There was a strange table of controls near the back, and in the center of the room was one of the same flower-shaped chambers only larger than before. Inside it was a boy that looked too tall for the clothes he wore. Chestnut brown spikes of hair drooped toward his face. His eyes were closed, and strapped by his side was the Kingdom Key. Riku stepped forward.

"Sora . . ."

"You've seen Roxas," said Naminé. "You've sacrificed your light to help him awaken. Thought you'd like to see him again. Remember who you're fighting for."

Riku's eyes narrowed. He walked closer until he stood just against the pod and placed his hands on the chamber. Hard, warm plastic pressed back against his palms.

"Sora . . . I'm sorry," said Riku, staring at Sora's face. "I'm so sorry, Sora. I'm going to make things right, okay? And then it's going to be you and me again."

"And Kairi," said Naminé. She walked up beside him and then she, too, turned her face toward Sora's. "Can't forget Kairi."

"Kairi . . . It's been so long since I've thought about her." Riku laughed. "Don't worry, Sora. When this is all over and we go home, I'll make sure you finally get to share that paopu with her."

Naminé smiled. She turned her face from Sora and toward Riku.

"You loved him."

"You seem to think you know an awful lot about me."

"It's all there in Sora's memories. He just didn't notice."

"He was too preoccupied loving Kairi to know. It's good, though. She loves him, too, and I . . . I think I'm okay being the third wheel now."

"You have a love of your own, now. Someone who loves you back."

"What would make you think that?"

"I'm a witch, remember? Or at least that's what DiZ calls me. I have the power to affect Sora's memories and those around him. Your heart is connected to Sora's. It's not hard to see you're in love."

Riku nodded.

"So I'm that obvious."

"Not obvious. Just in real love."

"His name's Cloud."

"I know," said Naminé. "He's in Sora's memories, too, and though Sora missed the clues, I think it's adorable."

Naminé giggled in a way that reminded him of Kairi. Riku smiled. He hadn't thought about Kairi in ages, but now that he had, and now that Naminé reminded him so much of her, it was nice to have this friendship again. Some of those worries dissipated, and for a second he could clearly picture that last night when all three were still together, sitting by the paopu, staring out at the ocean. The sound of the wind and the smell of the sea infiltrated Riku's senses. He turned toward Naminé.

"We can be friends, right? I mean . . . That's allowed for Nobodies, isn't it? DiZ won't be angry?"

"Of course we can be friends." Naminé smiled. "I'd like that. I've never had a real friend before."

"Then I'm honored to be your first." Riku took one last glance at Sora. "I think I'm going to head to bed. Busy day tomorrow learning the system and everything."

Naminé nodded.

"I think that's a good idea. I have work to do myself."

"Chaining together memories."

"That's right."

"Thanks for this, Naminé. It really helped."

"I'm glad."

Riku turned to leave, but then hesitated. He pulled the hood down, placed his hand on Naminé's arm, and kissed her cheek. A light blush crept into her cheeks and she dropped her face toward the floor.

"Goodnight, Riku."

He pulled the hood back up and walked toward the door.

"Goodnight."

* * *

**_Let me say that it is a testament to Harry Potter that I got just as much if not more feedback on loving the boy wizard as I did on the chapter. I love this. I really do._**

**_Totally went and saw the OotP movie last night, and may I say that my love for Sirius Black was once again usurped by one Severus Snape. I've always adored Snape, but now I am desperately waiting for Book 7 more than before because I'm already trying to map out a Snape fic, and I've got such a good prologue in my head, I kind of hope he dies. Cause you all know what a canon freak I am. Just can't come up with a fanfic without knowing the whole story in unnatural detail. So when I go write that Snape story, I expect the boy wizard lovers to check it out. You're out of the Potter closet now! I will stalk you! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha . . . (Evil laughter dies away. Composure returns.)_**

**_Ahem . . . (sounds of Umbridge's little cough infiltrates head. authoress spasms)_**

**_Okay. I'm better now._**

**_I don't know if you did, but I adored what I did with Namine in this chapter. I wasn't really expecting it (I was, actually, expecting that phone call from Leon, but that's been moved to chapter 55 now), but I loved it, so I hope you all do, too._**

**_Other than that . . ._**

**_I can't really respond to the reviews, because they'll all go something like this:_**

**insert reviewer name here**: I know! There will be no humans on for awhile! Potter Potter Potter Potter Potter Potter Potter etc. etc. Snape! Book 7! I love Snape. Snape Snape Snape. I _have _to see that movie again!

**_And not entirely because I've got Snape on the brain._**

**_So, in conclusion, when I'm no longer thinking "I love Snape!" every time I'm not engrossed with Riku or Cloud or both, I'll be able to properly communicate with you all again. Until then, more chapters (because Riku and Cloud still really grab me good once I let them) and lots of love and appreciation._**

**_-D_**


	54. Of Emptiness and Telephone Calls

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **054. Victory

**Word Count**: 2,466

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: The house feels empty, and who the hell called Cloud eight times? He doesn't even know that number!

**Disclaimer**: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I'm sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let's face it: I don't even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there's no proof of, because I'm deluded like that.

* * *

**_Step Fifty-Four: Of Emptiness and Telephone Calls_**

"House feels empty," said Cloud.

Leon barged into his bedroom at five o'clock the morning after his arrival, muttering something about the restoration. Cloud registered the words 'useless' and 'shower' before he realized Leon was insulting him, and trying to get him out of bed. A half hour later, Cloud emerged from the bathroom, towel drying his hair. Leon was in the kitchen, his hair a mess and still in his pajamas, smoking, with two cups of coffee steaming on the counter.

His eyes rolled up at Cloud's entrance. He sighed, flicked, and ran a hand through his hair. Cloud frowned. Leon didn't usually look so bedraggled at this time of the morning.

"Felt emptier yesterday," said Leon. "I made coffee."

"I see that. Thanks."

"No problem."

"What's with you? You're very . . . eh . . . out of character . . . today . . . Or maybe you're more in character . . ."

"Rough night. Couldn't sleep."

"Sorry to hear that." Cloud hesitated, and then sat across from Leon. He grabbed the other coffee cup and circled his finger around the rim. "So . . . what do you need me to do today?"

Leon waved his hand.

"I don't care. Whatever. There are some houses that need drywall put up. There's always painting. Aerith's working on the garden at the orphanage. Scrooge is doing something about a skate park. Cid's working on a playground. Unless, you know, the water main bursts again. We're almost at the castle entrance now, but there's still Heartless all over the place, so I wouldn't suggest there."

"What are you doing?"

"Well, we're still having problems with interfering systems, and since Riku isn't here to continue working on that . . ." Leon trailed off. He gulped down another large swallow of coffee. "My job now."

"Oh, yeah . . ." said Cloud. "That. He had to leave, you know? Sora. Roxas. The order of the worlds . . ."

"I know why he left, Cloud. You don't have to tell me. I don't begrudge him leaving. He didn't have to volunteer in the first place."

Cloud watched him for a few seconds. Leon stared into his coffee, and his eyebrows furrowed, the scar across his face bunching in the odd way that scars do.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong? Is it Riku?"

Leon snorted.

"No, Cloud. Contrary to popular belief, I am not trying to steal your boyfriend. I'm not angry he left . . ."

"You're angry that I won't tell you what happened."

"No, I'm not. I'm angry that Riku doesn't want you to tell me what happened. But you don't have to worry about that, either, because I'm aware he's your boyfriend . . ."

"He's your friend."

"Thought he was."

Leon stood and carried his empty coffee cup to the pot for a refill. Cloud sighed.

"He is your friend. Is that what you're weird about this morning? Cause if it is, you don't have to be. You're going to call him and get everything straightened out, right? Besides, you of all people should understand being embarrassed . . ."

"I'm not weird this morning, Cloud; I'm tired. I couldn't sleep. Believe or not, unlike you, my world does not center on Riku. I do understand, blessed as I am with the capability of thinking. Would you just get off my back already?" Cloud huffed. Leon sat on his stool again. "You should really drink that coffee before it gets cold."

Cloud nodded and took a sip. It was lukewarm. He grimaced. Leon chuckled.

"Told you so," said Leon. "So how was it last night sleeping in there?"

Cloud sighed.

"Rough. I just keep thinking about him, and I want to call and make sure he's all right, but I know he isn't, so what's the point? Besides, he's got stuff to do. It's just . . . weird. Him not being here."

"House feels empty," said Leon.

"Yeah . . . Oh! Hey . . . you get the number yet?" Leon shook his head. "Let me get that for you, then."

Cloud stood from his stool and walked toward the bedroom, passing a glance back to Leon.

In a way, Cloud kind of wanted to strangle Leon. He was a lying sack of shit saying that his bad attitude had nothing to do with Riku. Cloud was even more irritated that Leon wouldn't just admit to his feelings still being hurt. It wasn't like Cloud was some jealous psychopath that would forbid Leon to actually care about Riku's well-being. Okay, so maybe he was a little jealous of the friendship that forged between his boyfriend and best friend, but extenuating circumstances between he and Riku had made every day so unstable. Cloud never knew what was going to happen next, and while it wasn't always a disaster, there were still times like these when Riku looked liked Ansem and Cloud could do nothing about it. It wasn't completely ridiculous to think that the next bad thing would be for Leon to just sweep in, steal Riku away, and leave Cloud alone. He knew it wouldn't happen, but then again, he never saw this Ansem situation coming, either.

Cloud shook his head as he grabbed the phone from the dresser. He wished he wouldn't have gone off about Leon like he had at Christmas. It had apparently hurt Leon more than Cloud thought, and that was never part of his intentions in the first place. He knew that fear was ridiculous now. Why couldn't he have just known it back then? Cloud wished he would have thought more about the repercussions instead of letting his emotions get away with him like that. This strained friendship with Leon right now was more apparent with Riku gone.

Leon was still sitting at the counter when Cloud left the bedroom. He crossed to his seat and flipped his phone open.

"Damn," said Cloud. "I have, like, seventeen missed calls."

Leon raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't you the popular one?"

"No . . ." Cloud viewed the list. "Three from you. That must've been in the World That Never Was . . ."

"Haven't you used your phone since then?"

"Sure, I talked to Riku. And I was going to call people, but I didn't want to not tell you about what happened over the phone, so I just skipped the call log. I didn't I'd have this many."

"That'll teach you to ignore your missed call list again."

"Guess so. I don't even know this number. I have three from you. Two from Tifa." Cloud snorted. "Yuffie. Aerith. And eight from some number I don't even know." Cloud pressed a few more buttons and held the phone to his ear. "Holy shit. I've got fourteen messages."

"Two of them are from me," said Leon.

"Yeah, and one from Yuffie. Why does she insist on annoying me everywhere I go?"

"Shut up. You like it."

"I do not."

"Oh, yes you do. We all complain about Yuffie, but we'd be miserable if she suddenly decided she didn't want to bug us anymore."

Leon moved around the kitchen, cleaning up. His eyes focused on what he was doing, but occasionally strayed to Cloud. After a few deleted messages, Cloud smiled at him.

"You _were_ worried."

"Whatever . . ."

Cloud was silent for another minute, and then he frowned, glancing up.

"It's Reno."

"Hm?"

"Reno. Reno, Turk from Midgar, Reno."

"Sexually promiscuous, rebound after Zack, Reno?"

"Same Reno."

"What the hell does he want?"

Cloud frowned.

"Something about a job. And Shinra. Fuck them. Not interested."

Leon snorted.

"You tell that voicemail, Cloud."

"Shut up. It's Tifa. Oh, yeah, thanks. She says to me that Reno called asking for my number and she got bullied into giving it to him. That's helpful now."

"At least she tried to warn you."

"Oh for the love of Shiva, it's Reno again."

"What does he want now?"

"He's yelling at me for not calling him back. Fuck you. Not interested."

Cloud deleted the message, but the next three were from Reno as well, bitching at great length about Cloud avoiding him. Cloud shook his head as he deleted another message.

"It's too early for this crap. Oh, wait, Tifa again. She's yelling at me for not calling Reno back, because now he's bugging her, too. She says she isn't my personal secretary."

Leon smiled.

"Guess you won't be turning your phone off in the future anymore."

"Maybe I'll ask Cid to get me a new number."

"Maybe Cid would beat you if you did that, because we already have enough problems with the restoration."

"Probably. Oh, here it is. Last message. Reno again. He's starting to sound desperate."

"Maybe he's sexually frustrated."

"Too bad for him. I'm taken."

"That you are."

Cloud smiled and pressed the phone harder to his ear. He almost laughed at the pleading tone in Reno's voice to call him back, because there was a job. An important job. He couldn't say much because Rufus Shinra himself wanted to discuss the matter with him (Cloud should've known someone was behind Reno's frequent calls as Reno never called him this much when they were dating). Then Reno's voice broke off. Cloud waited for the prompt to delete the message, but he started speaking again.

"Look," said Reno. "I'm not supposed to say anything to you because we don't know for sure, but . . . There's some weird stuff going on around here. We think it has something to do with Jenova. We need you here. I have to head out to the Northern Cave, just . . . call me back, okay?"

The call cut off. The annoying automated voice prompted him to delete or save the message. Cloud flipped his phone shut.

"Well?" said Leon.

Cloud blinked, staring into nothing, and then he looked to Leon.

"I think . . . I think I have to go to Midgar."

Leon nodded.

"Of course you do."

"This job . . . Reno says that weird things have been going on. He won't go into detail because apparently Rufus Shinra wants to talk to me about it, and they don't really know for sure, but . . . he thinks it has something to do with Jenova."

"Which means . . ."

"Sephiroth," Cloud finished.

"Right. Well? Go pack. I have to get dressed. Busy day."

"But . . ."

"You've been waiting for this. This is a good thing. You want to defeat Sephiroth, don't you?"

"Well, yes . . ."

"I'll handle everyone. I'll let them know about Sora, and Riku, and everything. You just . . . just go pack, okay?"

"You still need Riku's number."

"Leave your phone on the counter. I'll get it."

"What about Aerith? I should at least explain myself."

"I'll take care of it. If Sephiroth is up to something . . . We all know what happened, more or less, the last time he was in Midgar."

"Meteor."

"Right. So . . . go take care of things. You don't want him getting closer to annihilating the planet again while you're here explaining yourself."

"But . . ."

"Get out of here already. I'm going to get dressed. I'll have my phone on me. Call me if you need anything."

Cloud held his phone out to Leon.

"Here. Make sure you get his number before I go. Do it now so you don't forget."

"You do know the sooner you take care of Sephiroth, the sooner you and Riku can be together."

"I don't think he wants me around right now."

"That's because you and Riku never know what's good for you."

Leon stared at the phone in Cloud's outstretched hand for a few seconds. He sighed and grabbed it, flipping it open. He pressed a few buttons, and then grabbed a piece of paper from the drawer. With the numbers jotted down, he snapped the phone shut and handed it back to Cloud.

"Happy now?" said Leon.

"What if it's not Sephiroth? What if . . ."

"Give it a rest, Cloud. Stop doubting yourself."

"But I just got here."

"And Hollow Bastion will still be here when you get back. We can get along without you. Restoration will probably go faster."

"That's not what I meant . . ."

"I'll be fine."

"House feels really empty."

"I'll be fine, Cloud."

"I know. I just . . . last time . . . when me and Zack left. And now you're being shoved out again. And Riku . . . He's going to tell you, you know?"

"Would you give it a rest? I'm going to be fine."

"You could come with. You don't have to stay here."

"Yes, I do. I have a restoration to take care of. And what happens if you're still off when Sora wakes up? I may not remember him, but he's supposed to be my friend. What if I'm off running around with you, letting Hollow Bastion fall to shit again when we all remember Sora, and he comes traipsing back into our world? Someone's got to make sure Yuffie keeps her mouth shut."

"I'm not trying to cut you out, you know."

"Oh for the love of . . . Cloud. Shut up. Let it go."

"But Aerith and Yuffie have each other, and Cid's got Cid, and you had me and Riku, but now . . ."

"Cloud, if you don't shut up and pack, I'm going to get the Gunblade."

"You should be working by now."

"Another excellent reason why you should let me get dressed. Go pack. I'll cover for you. Aerith just needs to know what's going on. She doesn't need to hear it from you. I baby-sit Yuffie better than you do. What are you going to do all day? Worry about Sephiroth? Put paint in your ears? Come on, Cloud . . ."

"I know. I just . . . feel bad."

"You never felt bad before."

Cloud hung his head and swallowed.

"Yes, I did. I feel bad every time I leave. I felt bad when I ran off after Riku, but he needed me . . ."

"And right now Reno thinks Midgar needs you. Tifa needs you. You were supposed to visit anyway. Say hello to Tifa and Vincent for me. Give the brats hugs."

"I will."

"Good. Pack."

Cloud sighed.

"Okay."

-----0-----

Under twenty-four hours after returning from Twilight Town, Cloud stepped onto his Gummi ship and thanked Shiva he didn't run into Aerith, Cid, or Yuffie on the way. He pulled out his phone and found Tifa in the contact menu. The controls were set for Gaia.

* * *

**_My Harry hiatus is over._**

**_Obviously._**

**_So there's fifty-four for you. Boo ya. We are moving on to . . . well, Edge, really, but Cloudykins thinks he's going to Midgar . . ._**

**_Didn't turn out at all as I expected. This transition to the FFVII world. Leon was still smarting off Riku more than I thought. But oh well. He's the boss of him._**

**_I'm not replying. I am too tired. I have a nine-hour guard shift tomorrow and need rest._**

**_Love to all._**

**_-D_**


	55. Graphs and Guilt

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**:055. Numbers

**Word Count**: 6,151

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku isn't coping with the turn of events in his life very well. He really needs to work on his people skills.

**Disclaimer**: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I'm sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let's face it: I don't even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there's no proof of, because I'm deluded like that.

**A/N**: OMG, this was such an effing bitch to write.

* * *

**_Step Fifty-Five: Graphs and Guilt_**

Riku awoke the next morning and was sure to pull the Organization robe hood far over his face. He skipped a shower, and part of his mind suggested that he really should take one. The water in the World That Never Was hadn't been terrible, but he did need to practice good hygiene eventually. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. Somewhere along the transition, Riku's hot-ass little outfit that Cloud liked so much had disappeared. He wore nothing but black robes like Ansem had. He hadn't even changed for bed, but slept in the cloak. Undressing like this right now just seemed so . . .

Riku never wanted to know what Ansem's most private anatomy looked like. Unfortunately, he knew he'd have to face it eventually. That didn't mean he couldn't put it off for as long as possible.

It was mid-morning as far as Riku could tell from the sun's position in the sky outside the large window across the old mansion's entrance. He wondered why no one had woken him as he made his way down to the computer room. Naminé and DiZ were already there, sitting on the floor by the strange data machine, eating breakfast. She smiled at his entrance, waved, and motioned to two brown paper bags on the floor.

"We got takeout," said Naminé. "There's some for you, too."

"Takeout," said Riku.

The oddness of eating takeout with Naminé and DiZ in the basement computer room of Twilight Town while Sora slept a few rooms away in a pod did not escape him.

"For breakfast," she elaborated. "We don't have a working kitchen right now."

"Of course."

Riku continued to stand there. DiZ stared.

"You do eat, don't you?" said DiZ.

Riku shifted his feet. He felt six years old under the man's gaze. He felt his head bob into a nod.

"Then why don't you join us, mystery guest, and we'll catch you up on the schedule."

"There's plenty for all of us," said Naminé.

Riku shifted a moment longer, and then took a seat beside her, avoiding DiZ's eyes. She held out one of the bags to him. He accepted the offering and pulled out a breakfast sandwich.

"So what's the plan for today?" said Riku.

"I'm manipulating the memories of the people in the data Twilight Town. DiZ is going to teach you to read the system," said Naminé.

"Manipulating the memories?"

"The close proximities of their hearts should be enough to cause a response in Sora," said DiZ, "but Roxas needs an entire history."

"Right," said Naminé. "Right now I just have him in a deep sleep. I've erased all his memories already. DiZ has the town set up, but now he has to integrate Roxas into it. So while he teaches you everything you need to know about the alternate world, I'm going to make Roxas a part of it. When he wakes up, he'll never know he's been anywhere else. I even got to pick out friends for him."

"Pick out . . ."

"The Twilight Town in the system is almost identical to the real Twilight Town," said DiZ.

"Except for that Roxas doesn't exist to the real people of Twilight Town, so we had to make data copies" said Naminé. "So all the people, shops, and everything are the same. I just need to warp the duplicate's memories so that they think Roxas has been there all along. I think it might affect the real people of Twilight Town, but it shouldn't be too serious."

"Why didn't you just make fake people?" said Riku. "Sounds like more trouble than you need."

"We needed it to almost be an exact replica," said DiZ. "There are too many access points in the system for the alternate world to go unnoticed for long . . ."

"You mean by the Heartless?"

"The Heartless . . . and others . . ."

"Organization XIII," said Riku.

"Them, too, but the more similar they are, the harder it will be to differentiate which is the fake Twilight Town, and which is the real one. So if they do notice another one, at least it's more trouble for them," said Naminé.

DiZ looked to her and frowned.

"We don't have enough time to create a whole town full of believable people with histories, either," said DiZ. "The less time Roxas spends in the system, the better."

Riku didn't know what to say. He thought over their words for several seconds before he glanced up again.

"What do you mean by 'read the system'?" said Riku.

"The computer serves two purposes. It will keep track of the progress of Sora's restoration . . ." said DiZ. Naminé cut him off again.

"It's been stuck at two percent for months now."

"And we'll be able to keep watch over Roxas. That will be your job."

"A good portion of the system is entirely data, so you've got to view all those numbers. Fast, too, because they move quick. How to input data. Reading the graphs and charts."

"We have to be careful," DiZ continued. "We can't let Organization XIII find Roxas, so I've limited Twilight Town to the bare necessities to avoid as many entry points as possible."

"Because every different area of Twilight Town is a weak link in the system that can be infiltrated."

"If Organization XIII were to find the weak points in the system, they could get in there and take Roxas back."

"And we'd have a real problem on our hands then."

DiZ shot Naminé a glare. She offered an apologetic smile.

"So . . ." said Riku. He turned their words over in his head. "What does that mean? You lost me."

"If Roxas and his friends try to access an area of Twilight Town that isn't in the system, they won't be able to reach it. The data will scramble. The system will crash. We only have two options in that sort of scenario."

"Create that area and give another access point, or stop them from going there all together."

"Naminé!"

"I'm sorry. I can't help it."

Riku almost laughed. The tone of her voice, the way she threw her hands around, the weak smiles she gave DiZ every time she failed to control her mouth and he grew irritated with her interruptions was so very reminiscent of Kairi . . . Once again, he felt a small pain travel through his heart at the thought of her. He'd been so stupid following Maleficent into her trap like that. He'd been so stupid letting Sora down the way he did, and now he was in that pod, and Roxas was in an alternate world. Riku wasn't even sure where Kairi was (though he hoped she was home), and here was Naminé. Another Nobody, and this Nobody business was a depressing thing.

He looked up and saw both DiZ and Naminé staring at him.

"Well?" said DiZ.

"What?" said Riku.

Naminé smiled. Her hand touched to his robed arm.

"Aren't you hungry?" she said, as if she were repeating herself. Riku silently mused that she probably was, and steeled himself to pull it together. "You've hardly touched your food."

Riku looked down to the sandwich. His stomach turned, and he shook his head.

"I don't have much of an appetite right now." Something changed in DiZ's eyes at his words, but he didn't bother to dwell on it. He couldn't even conceive how the inner workings of DiZ's mind went, much less did he care. There were more important things to worry about, and right now, making amends to his once best friend was at the top of the list. "We should get to work."

Naminé's frown lingered for only half a second. She nodded.

"I'll clean this up," she said. "Why don't you two get started?"

-----0-----

Riku lay on the bed in the foreign room and closed his eyes. He groaned. He could swear numbers were still playing across his eyelids after staring at the series of monitors all day. It wasn't hard learning the system since he'd always been good with computers, but it was tiring. DiZ said Naminé should have all the memories going by the day after tomorrow, and then Roxas could awaken. Until then, there wasn't much to be done other than learn the workings of the data town.

Each monitor was reserved for a different purpose. Some were for entry points of the alternate Twilight Town. Roxas had a house and family. There was a forest, and a place called the Sandlot, where DiZ said some event called the Struggle Challenge was held. There was a train station, a clock tower, trams, and the Sunset Residential District. Even DiZ's mansion was there. The layout was becoming familiar, but Riku planned on taking a walk through the real Twilight Town tomorrow. He needed to familiarize himself with actually walking the streets in the event he might have to slip into the data world. Riku didn't think the Organization would find Roxas, but there were so many missing parts to the extended town that the odds Roxas and friends might wander where they couldn't go were high.

One monitor tracked Sora's progress, while another tracked Roxas's emotions and vitals in the system. A corner of one screen registered the connection between Roxas and Sora to see how their hearts responded to each other. Riku didn't know how DiZ found a way to track the progress of hearts, but it gave him the chills. It was so reminiscent of all those books in the Hollow Bastion castle—Ansem's books. All that research on the Heartless. The parallels of working for Maleficent and working for DiZ were a little too strong for Riku's liking, but this was to help Sora. That's all that mattered.

He just hoped this didn't parallel how Maleficent and Ansem were going to help Kairi. He couldn't be that stupid two times in a row, could he? After all, DiZ seemed focused on eliminating Organization XIII, and Riku didn't care why. Once Sora was awake he could handle himself.

The large monitor displayed a map and graphs tracking the movements of Twilight Town inhabitants. This was also the screen that would start flashing red and blazing obnoxious, loud tones should someone infiltrate the system or the inhabitants threatened to breach the barriers. If that happened to anyone but Roxas and his friends, Riku was to delete the data and input it again. If it was Roxas and his friends, he needed to interfere somehow. The Roxas in the system was the real Roxas, after all, and Riku couldn't just very well delete him. If someone infiltrated, well, Riku needed to inform DiZ and try to fix the problem. Compared to all this, the Hollow Bastion Restoration seemed like a fond, long-ago memory.

He learned about the people of the town. DiZ gave him a portfolio full of files on everyone from shopkeepers to a group of friends that called themselves the Twilight Disciplinary Committee. Roxas's friends were going to be a trio of kids named Hayner, Pence, and Olette. From what Riku could tell, they'd at least be entertaining to watch. Hayner had sort of a big-mouthed attitude problem that both amused Riku and vaguely reminded him of himself back on Destiny Islands. He knew Naminé chose these friends for Roxas, and he wondered if, considering Roxas was Sora's Nobody, she was taking at dig at him by setting the two up as best friends.

Riku needed to study the files, but for now he leaned over the bed. He pulled out the table drawer and flipped open his phone. His heart sank again; Cloud hadn't called. He tried to rationalize that Cloud was probably tired on that flight back to Hollow Bastion and there was no exciting news on the Gummi, but a nagging sensation at the back of his mind said it was because of Ansem. Riku almost put the phone away again, but he promised that he'd keep in touch. He dialed Cloud's number.

Two rings later, Cloud's voice drifted through the headset. The call was a short one. Cloud was still on the Gummi, and he anticipated being back in Hollow Bastion the next evening. His voice was animated and responsive as Riku talked about Naminé and Sora. He relayed the details of the alternate Twilight Town, but somewhere along the way Cloud's voice changed from encouraging to confused.

"You know I don't get any of that computer stuff," said Cloud.

Riku actually found himself laughing at the statement, but behind the mirth he felt suddenly overwhelmed. Joyous laughter at something that was so very Cloud and something so very normal sank in his heart and started to ferment there. His stomach churned, and Riku felt the bile rising in his throat. He swallowed. His eyes fell on the portfolio of files.

"I really have to go," said Riku. "DiZ has me working on something, and I've got get back to it. Just wanted to let you know how things are going."

"What a slave driver," said Cloud. "Who does he think you are? His man servant? Cause if he does, someone better inform him that I claimed you first."

Riku tried to chuckle. It sounded so forced that he winced at the sound of his own voice.

"I really need to go."

There was a long, uncomfortable pause on the other end.

"Okay," said Cloud. "Just . . . call me, okay? Or I'll call you. I want to keep updated on how things are going."

"Okay. Well . . . bye, then."

"I love you."

Riku hesitated. His throat felt tight.

"I love you, too."

He jabbed at the end button. Riku stared at the phone for several seconds before he felt his eyes burn, and realized just what had made him so very upset out of nowhere.

They hadn't mentioned his Ansem appearance. It was such a typical call for them, exchanging details of the day's lack of events, filled with light-hearted teasing and flirtation. A typical call during such an atypical situation and it wasn't like Riku wanted the change pointed out, but this was a phone conversation. All you had in phone conversations was a voice to suffice that aching need, and Cloud's had always been a great comfort to him. This had been their one solace, their way of communicating when so far apart, and now it couldn't even be sacred because his voice . . .

Riku took a deep breath and tried to relax. He had to stop doing this. He couldn't spend the rest of his time as Ansem obsessing over it and worrying about how Cloud would feel. There was no indication of how long it would take to finish Organization XIII or until he didn't need the power of darkness anymore. He couldn't tell how long it would be until the piece of Ansem in his heart was destroyed. This was a necessity, being this way, and Cloud . . . Cloud was taking it so well. Cloud was wonderful, supportive, and all Riku could to repay him was act like a nutcase. This was becoming trite and overdone. He couldn't continue to behave this way.

Riku tried to reason that it'd only been a day since the transformation occurred, but he felt it wasn't an excuse. If Cloud could just push it aside and remind himself that this _thing_ was Riku, then shouldn't he be able to do the same? He knew more than anyone that it was still he trapped inside this foreign encasement of over elongated limbs. It should be he that handled it best. He needed to get himself under control. Cloud was bound to eventually blame himself, think he was worthless for not being able to stop the transformation, take the burden for Riku's depression over the matter, and would withdraw. Riku needed to have it together if he wanted to keep from losing him.

The files sat in a portfolio case on the nightstand. Riku ensured the door was locked and popped open the lid. He took down his hood. With a pile of files in his hand, he cast them across the bed, lay on his stomach, and flipped open Hayner's. His eyes roved over the words, seeing them without registration. How long he lay there staring with empty eyes went unnoticed, but eventually the ache throbbing in his forehead overtook consciousness. Riku fell into a fitful, restless sleep.

-----0-----

Naminé had an eerie sixth sense of intuition. Riku would have marveled that this, too, was so like Kairi if he wasn't so exhausted. The day after the call with Cloud was more of the same. He went for his walk through the real Twilight Town to familiarize himself with the streets and did a fine job to avoid Seifer and his gang. He learned how to work the data machine. Riku dragged through the hours, forcing his eyes open. Without having ever said anything, Naminé rested her hand on his robed forearm sometime in the evening.

"The nightmares will pass," she whispered. DiZ standing only a few feet away typing data manically into one of the scripts didn't even glance toward the disturbance. He turned his hooded face in her direction and was greeted with a thermos of coffee shoved into his hands.

She must have known because of his heart's connection to Sora, but he continued to marvel at her. More so, he was thankful for her presence. Her kind tone and sweet words had a calming effect on him. She didn't deny how he felt or tell him to feel another way, but she made it feel like maybe it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

He sipped at the coffee, listening with disinterest to DiZ explain more about the town grids and the codes for them. Over an hour later Naminé returned to the computer room basement and grinned.

"It's ready. Give the word and I'll wake Roxas."

Riku looked from Naminé to DiZ. The reality of the situation suddenly became that much bigger. Roxas was about to wake, and then . . . Sora . . .

"It's time," said DiZ.

His gaze was directed to Riku, and then he turned his bandaged face toward Naminé; he nodded.

-----0-----

The Roxas of alternate Twilight Town was . . . well . . . Riku kind of felt asinine thinking it, but boring. Compared to the Roxas he met in the World That Never Was, this Roxas was so nice. So tame. So completely unaware of bad things in the world(s), completely unaware of what he was, and content with spending time in that place in the back alley he and his friends called the usual spot.

Even their conversation was drab. Hayner punched his fists into his hands a lot and mouthed off about Seifer and the Twilight Disciplinary Committee. Olette reminded the boys of an upcoming school term. Pence took a lot of photographs and blathered at random about some piece of useless information that one of Hayner's offhand comments reminded him of. They spent evenings on the clock tower shooting the shit some more, eating sea-salt ice cream, which became the new computer password. The most excitement came when they went skateboarding (Riku had no idea where this interest of Roxas's came from, because Sora had never been able to stay on a skateboard very well) or when they ran into Seifer and his gang. That got annoying, too, though, because Rai had a tendency to tag on "ya know?" at the end of every sentence. It was worse than Wakka's "ya?"

More than once on Riku's first full day of Roxas Watch, his head jerked up and eyes flew open when he started to nod off. There were no barrier breaches (Roxas and friends were woefully broke) except for a train full of people off to the beach. Riku was more excited than he should have been to delete them, call on Naminé for memory modification, and reprogram them into the system. He almost cried in joy when Naminé brought dinner, and he sighed with relief when Roxas went to bed.

The best part of the day, though, was the second-highest monitor on the right-hand sign. The one that had been stuck at two percent forever. Since Roxas awoke, it climbed to four percent. Sora's heart was responding. When Riku fell asleep that night, it was with a happier heart. His body felt lighter, the darkness less overwhelming. Something was happening—something good. There were no nightmares his fourth night in Twilight Town.

Riku woke early the following morning. Naminé was already out to collect breakfast, and Riku assumed DiZ must be somewhere in the mansion, already awake and wrapping his face. He snorted at the thought and walked down to the computer room. He stopped at the monitor and smiled to see the restoration at five percent (a one percent increase overnight and Roxas was _sleeping_ at that!). Bypassing the rest of the monitors (Roxas was still snoring away) he headed through the next two doors, followed the corridor, and stepped into the white pod room.

He hung by the door, staring across the expanse to where Sora floated, suspended in sleep. This was his first time seeing Sora since Naminé showed him here, and he hadn't anticipated that he would visit his estranged best friend, but now that he was here . . . It was something about Roxas. Roxas who felt like Sora, and Riku felt so guilty for what he had to do. He hated to take away Roxas's life (even this fake one) and his chance to exist—to be something more than just a Nobody.

He had forgotten everything about Sora, but now he had a name and a face, a body, and there were those horrible yellow shoes he liked to wear. The holes in his memory were still gaping, but there was something going on in that heart of Sora's. Riku didn't need the monitor to tell him that as it resonated in his own. It made things worse with Roxas. Riku couldn't really remember what Sora was like, but he felt it in his heart. Sora would not be okay with taking the little heart Roxas had away from him. It had to be done, though, and Sora would have to find out eventually.

Riku reflected on Naminé's words, looking to them for forgiveness and resolution as he stared at Sora's long-closed eyelids. Nobodies were only half a person. Roxas could never have a full life (even a fake one), but he could be whole with Sora. He silently promised one day he would help Sora to understand, too. Maybe even tell him about Roxas. Help him embrace the other his sacrifice for Kairi had created.

Riku lowered his head and snickered. When he raised his head again, he turned to head out through the door.

"You were always nothing but trouble. Always lazy, leaving me with all the work, you slacker." Riku smiled. "I remember that."

He left the room.

-----0-----

That evening Riku propped his feet up on a wooden crate he dragged into the computer room around lunchtime. His cheek was smashed against the rough material of the Organization robe (he'd have to ask Naminé about laundry . . . maybe do a little shopping for a change or two of clothes) as his head lay supported by the palm of his hand. He stared blankly at the monitors (Sora was up to six percent), barely registering Roxas and Hayner saying goodnight and leaving the usual place in different directions.

Riku lifted his head and wiggled his fingers, urging the blood back into his hand. A tingling sensation crept through the digits. He really ought to take a shower this evening, he thought, as he yawned.

"Roxas dreamt of you," said Naminé, walking into the computer room. She handed him a paper cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll on a plain, white napkin. Pulling up a chair, she motioned for Riku to move his feet from the crate, and set her own cup and snack there.

"What do you mean?" said Riku. He straightened in the chair and set his coffee across from Naminé's.

"Last night. He dreamt of you and Sora on Destiny Islands. You couldn't have been older than six. Nice haircut you had, by the way."

Naminé giggled. Riku scowled.

"I was a kid! My mom . . ." Riku trailed off. "Whatever. So . . . what does that mean? Is that good?"

"I think so. The links in the memories I've restored for Sora are starting to register with him, and Roxas's heart is responding to that just like Sora responds to him."

"So it just means that things are going well, then?"

"Think so. How's Roxas doing?"

"Shouldn't you know?"

Naminé gave him a sheepish smile.

"I know how his heart is doing. I just . . ."

Riku laughed.

"I was just kidding. Roxas is doing perfectly fine. Unaware that he's an extremely brutal fighter and having a great time with his friends. His biggest concerns are how little munny he's got and dealing with Seifer. He thinks about the upcoming Struggle a lot."

"That's great. How are you doing?"

"Dirty. I've been avoiding the shower."

"You'll have to face it eventually. Let me know when you do. I'll get that robe cleaned for you."

"I wanted to ask you about that. I need to go shopping. I have no other clothes."

"I'll approximate the size when I do your laundry and go shopping tomorrow morning while you watch Roxas. Until then, you're just going to have to go naked."

"Or live in my towel."

"At least it's only one night. You'll have clean clothes in the morning."

She smiled. Riku sat back in his chair, picking at the cinnamon roll in his hand. He glanced toward the large monitor to see Roxas saying goodnight to his "mother" and heading for bed. He enjoyed this time with Naminé in a comfortable silence, and it was nice to have a friend here. It was especially nice that no words were needed. Sometimes Riku felt he did more talking than any person should.

Just as he was drifting and mind started to clear, his phone went off. It vibrated in his pocket, ringing out some obnoxious tone Cloud had set it to ages ago. He glanced to Naminé; she stared at his pocket.

"You going to answer that?"

"I'll call him back."

"Cloud?" she asked. Riku shrugged. He half-nodded. "I'll give you your privacy. Let me know about that shower. You know where to find me."

Naminé shot him a soft smirk before standing, taking her coffee with her, and leaving the room. Riku sighed, pulled the still ringing phone from his pocket, and flipped it open.

"Hey," said Riku. "Wasn't expecting you to call so soon."

There was a long, heavy silence on the other end. Riku frowned. A considerable pause passed.

". . . Riku?"

"Cloud?"

". . . No."

Riku's frown deepened and something akin to panic rose within him. He pulled the phone back and stared at the display, blatantly showing a number that was not Cloud's. Clearly, however, this was someone who must know Cloud to have his number (because until right now, Riku thought the only people to know his number were he and Cloud . . . and maybe Cid, but that was neither here nor there). His mind drew blank, and then the voice spoke again, and there was only one possible conclusion.

"Are you still there?"

". . . Leon?"

". . . Yeah."

"What . . . why . . ."

"I guess Cloud didn't warn you, then. He gave me your number."

"Yeah . . . I . . . I figured."

"Has he talked to you at all since he got back to Hollow Bastion?"

"No." The panic and fear increased with the sound of the foreign voice and all chastising about getting it together faded from his consciousness. Annoyance mingled with the panic. "He hasn't. Why are you calling?"

"Because when Cloud got back he said he couldn't tell us what happened to you, and that we can't tell Sora about you again, and I want to know what's going on."

"There's a reason I asked him not to tell anyone."

"He says you're embarrassed."

"I don't want anyone to know what happened. I don't want to be called. I don't even really want Cloud to call . . ."

"It can't be that bad. You can tell me whatever it is. I'm your friend. I won't tell Aerith or anyone, and I've already promised not to say anything to Sora. I just think I'm entitled to know why I'm promising these things."

"You have a tendency to think you're entitled to know things that aren't any of your business. Just because Cloud let it slip about our relationship doesn't mean I have to tell you a damn thing."

"What happened to your voice?"

"Fuck off."

"Riku . . ."

"I don't want to talk about it, Leon. I don't want anyone to know. I don't even want Cloud to know, and if I could, I'd fix that, but I can't so I'm just going to hang up, okay?"

"Riku, come on. Don't do this. We're friends, aren't we?"

Riku's head ached. How could Cloud do this to him? He felt the throbbing travel through his head and into his eyes. His ears ached. He wished he could cry just to make the pressure ease, but even that wouldn't comply.

"I don't know what we are, but I'm not telling you what's going on, and I'm pretty pissed off that you'd even call about it."

"You're pissed off at me? For calling you because I want to know what happened?"

"Yes, I'm pissed off at you. You don't need to know what happened. Why do you care, anyway?"

"Because we're friends?"

"Just because I'm dating your best friend and we lived in the same house for a few months it doesn't mean we're friends."

"Oh, it doesn't?"

"No, it doesn't."

"So we're not friends?"

"That's not what I said! I can't believe . . ."

"You can't believe what? That I'd want to know what was going on? That I give a shit about what happens to you?"

"Oh, shut up. That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I meant . . . I meant that I don't want to talk about this. I don't want you to call me. I don't want you to know what happened!"

"Because you're embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed!"

"Yes, you are. You're embarrassed about whatever happened to you, and now you're freaking out because someone else might find out. So you're panicking and taking it out on me."

"No, I'm _not_!"

"Don't you yell at me. You know, what, Riku? Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I called because I'm worried about you and want to know what's going on. I'm sorry I cared. I'm sorry I thought I could be a better friend for you if there was someone other than Cloud you could talk to about whatever mess you got yourself into now."

"Knock it off."

"Cause that's what you do, right? Get yourself into messes with the Heartless and the darkness and end up jerking yourself and everyone else around before you decide to let people in."

"Shut up!"

"Your pride really isn't as important as you think it is, Riku. Pride is worthless. It doesn't mean shit."

"It's better than blaming myself for everything that goes wrong like you do. At least I choose my messes. At least they're real. Shit gets fucked up, and then you make it a mess of your own. I mean, really. What's wrong? Aren't fucked up enough on your own? Need to give yourself more problems?"

"You don't even know what you're talking about."

"I do. Like right now, causing problems with me when there doesn't have to be one. I just don't understand how you're going to be such a good friend to me when you don't let anyone get close. You just sit back and impart condescending leftover words of wisdom from Aerith on people, as if we should do as you say and not as you do. I mean, really. Why me? Why now, of all times, do you decide you want to show some human emotion and—God forbid—care about someone enough to track them down?"

"Don't talk about things you don't understand."

"Oh for crissakes, Leon, stop telling me what to do.! Seriously. I think _I'm_ entitled to know. Why now? How long did I live with you? You never got my number then. Or do you only care when something is so fucked up you need to share some of the blame?"

"I care because you've been through bad shit before, and I know you a little better now than I did before you lived here. I didn't get your number then because I didn't need it. You just took off. It's not like I got an opportunity before you left. Not that I should have to explain myself to you. You're acting like a brat."

"You're acting like an asshole calling me up like this when I don't want you to!"

"Don't worry; I won't do it again. I now understand the evils of my concern for your well-being."

"I didn't say that! Don't put words into my mouth! I don't care if you were concerned about me, I just don't want you to call me."

"Believe me, I'm very sorry I did right now."

"I don't understand why you even did it in the first place! I mean . . . What? Was Cloud right or something? Do you like me so much that you have to track me down when I obviously don't want to be found?"

Riku regretted the words the second they left his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. On the other end of the line, Leon released a long sigh.

"Oh, yes, Riku. You've figured me out. That's very perceptive of you."

"Leon . . ." said Riku. "Listen . . ."

"I think you've said enough."

"No . . . I'm sorry. I didn't mean . . ."

"I know what you meant."

"No. Leon . . . I didn't mean it like that. I'm a brat. You're right. I'm just . . ."

"Worse off than I thought. Listen, Riku, I don't know what happened, but I know I care about you. If you want to talk about it, you know where to find me, but I think we should just walk away from this conversation before we say more things we regret."

"You mean before I say more things we regret."

"If that's what you want to think . . . Goodnight, Riku."

"No. You can't just hang up. We're fighting. I . . ."

"_Goodnight_, Riku."

"Leon . . ."

The line went dead. Riku pulled the phone back from his ear to see the word 'DISCONNECT' flash across the screen for a moment. He went into the received calls list and added Leon to his contacts. He hung his head, almost pressing the send button to try and call Leon back, make him listen, apologize until Leon wasn't angry anymore and believed him, but he closed the phone again.

Riku glanced toward the door leading to Sora. This was how it'd gone last time, hadn't it? His pride in the way made words he didn't mean or believe come tumbling out his mouth, searching for the weak point that would hit hard. Now Leon was angry . . . they _were_ friends, but Riku had all but denied it.

He'd call Cloud tomorrow. Maybe he could shed some light on what to do next. He knew Leon better than anyone, and Riku needed to make peace with Leon. He trusted Leon. Leon had become something of a brother, dear to him the way Ayumi always had been. He didn't really want Leon to know because of pride, but he sought that elder sibling comfort and solace he'd gotten his entire life with his sister. Leon made him feel safe in the same way, but just like he'd pushed away Sora back in Traverse Town and Ayumi all the way back on Destiny Islands . . . Riku was such an idiot.

He pocketed the phone and headed for the white room. All he wanted right now was a shower, sleep, and a clean robe in the morning.

* * *

**_Whelp. There ya go. I accomplished something. Go me._**

**_To the Reviewers, because I've just been horrible about responding (and I can't use the reply link or poor ChibiFrubaGirl will never get messages):_**

**BlackIceNinja**: Oh, I love Reno so much. He's such a spectacular character. I knew from the start he had to show up in here eventually (I think Perspective was born because I was too impatient waiting to write Reno in something). I especially enjoy that with Cloud in Midgar (or Edge, really) that we'll get to see more of him.

**Jediempress**: Oh, I've got something that might slightly resemble Advent Children in mind. There's a strain of Advent Children in there, but I'm KH-ifying it. And then turning that into my own fun and twisted order of events. Cause, you know, Cloud's got to have First Tsurugi and look all AC for KHII when he meets up with Sora again. And he's looking for Sephiroth. And there's that quote that if he looks different, it's because of Sephiroth. Got to tie that all in. So, yeah. Kind of Advent Children, but not Advent Children.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: Yeah. I like to abuse myself. I have to write Harry Potter fic again or the people I see in real life might eat me. And I'm woefully saddened by the continuing lack of good Ron/Draco stuff. They're calling it a sinking ship. So I figure if I can create a ship out of virtually nothing, I can certainly ressurect the good ship Ron/Draco. I've also become somewhat of a challenge addict because I get to write what I would've written anyway except more of it and I feel a moral obligation to finish since I signed up and everything. Plus I like having a long list of stories in my arsenal. I don't know what's going on with Leon. He became more integrated into this story than I ever planned him to be. He wasn't even supposed to be a big character. He wasn't supposed to know about the relationship or anything. He was just supposed to be silent and pretty. Leon wasn't standing for that.

**LunaLocket**: Oh, that guard shift. I burned so bad and now I'm peeling. Other than that it wasn't too much, so thanks for the luck sent my way. It might have helped.

**Riku-Rocks**: Like I said to Jediempress, yeah, there's going to be a strain of Advent Children, but it's totally not Advent Children at the same time. Let's just say I've been aching to write Kadaj. And what direction were you expecting me to take with Cloud? Just curious . . .

**-find.me.please-**: I just love the Gunblade. I love the word Gunblade. It's just awesome and sexy in that Squalleon way. Thanks for the kudos on my writing skills. I love being called kickass.

**SoulWriterofDarkTruth**: You're welcome. Hope you liked this additional dose of therapy.

**Red Kitsune Flames**: I don't know how Leon came to care so much about Riku. I think at first because of Cloud, and then they actually just had so much in common and coexisted so well that they became friends. And I get the feeling that once you're friends with Leon, that's just it. No going back.

**C. 'Vanus' deLeon**: Yeah, that was kind of the point. Chronologically I had Cloud days ahead of Riku and I needed to keep it short for Riku to catch up. Which is why this chapter was so long. I'll keep the comment about setting and movement in mind. I do have a tendency to go back and forth where one time I'm overloading the description on and then I turn around and have it at the bare minimum. But hey, we're all falliable with our weak points, right?

**GW Katrina**: bounces too I love FFVII and KH, and there are so many characters from FFVII in KH that it's not even real crossover! Yay! But, ahem, yeah. I know the last chapter was woefully short, but this one was obnoxiously long so that makes up for it, right? ... Right? ... Oh, fine. To steal a line from Squalleon: Whatever. ::smiles::

**_Next up is Cloud arriving at Midgar (or Edge, because Midgar's been laid to waste, hasn't it?). Don't really have it too fleshed out except for the big plot points (cackles to self). Jediempress, you will get your dedication then, because I believe I reamed you out several months ago for sharing my brain and now I'm finally getting to the point where those unkind words I might have called you are relevent. You may cackle, too, because there's a good possibility you know what I'm talking about._**

**_No idea when I will update. Alas, I only have had Saturdays off for the past three weeks and it will continue that way for this and next week. But hey, I won't be sleeping twice a day for four hours at a time anymore because I no longer have to wake up at 4:20 in the morning. Yay!_**

**_All my love to every one of you who has come all this way. Only 45 to go._**

**_-D_**


	56. Unacceptable

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **056. Passion/Obsession

**Word Count**: 5,656

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: This was more than Cloud could take.

**Disclaimer**: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I'm sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let's face it: I don't even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there's no proof of, because I'm deluded like that.

**Author's Note**: I've been avoiding writing this chapter. I can admit this. I was worried about how it would turn out, and more than a little afraid that I'd eff it all up. However, I grinned like a moron, completely pleased with myself as the chapter came to a close, so I guess its okay I stayed up all night to write it. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**_Step Fifty-Six: Unacceptable_**

Hours grew long and restless on the Gummi during the flight from Hollow Bastion to Gaea. Riku didn't call, and Cloud made no attempts to call him. He felt bad in a way, thanking Shiva every moment that passed and his phone didn't ring. Things were so strained with Riku right now that Cloud just didn't want to hear that foreign voice. He wanted to forget what had happened, what he'd been forced to witness in the World That Never Was. He was so proud of Riku's choices, but so disappointed at the outcome. He couldn't do anything to help him—just stood by, useless, watching the exchange. He couldn't comfort him. If Riku could change things, he'd make it so Cloud had never known.

Cloud had never handled feeling useless very well. Blame inevitably followed, so he continued to thank Shiva for his silent phone, no matter how guilty it made him feel. He couldn't do anything to help. The best thing to do right now was to concentrate on his demons. He just needed to stay away and let the relationship—his light and happiness for almost a year—simmer. It was time he, too, defeated his darkness. He needed to find light and happiness within himself.

Gaea. The last time Sephiroth poked out of hiding was when Riku was lost in the realm of darkness. Before that he had Cloud running around Gaea like an idiot, controlling him, forcing him to screw himself over by getting into his head through that Jenova cell connection (not to mention Cloud's 'glamorous' darkness). He'd been such a stupid kid, allowing things to go as far as they did—allowing his mind to be so warped and manipulated.

It was as Cloud thought that Riku was so much stronger than he'd been that he realized the obsessing had begun. The self-loathing was bound to follow. It would only take a day or two, Cloud thought, until the depression really set in. Until he really felt worthless and incompetent. Leon had a tendency to call Riku 'kid,' but it was he who always acted the child.

Even now as Cloud thought of how strong Riku was to keep his heart full of light and not allow it to be taken by Ansem (or even the realm of darkness itself), he couldn't fathom how to follow the example. He was sure to fail. Reno would give him the job, Cloud would resist, and somehow he, Tifa, and Vincent would end up collecting Barrett and running around Gaea again. Cloud might even kill Sephiroth a time or two, but in the end he wouldn't be gone for good. He might even get mako poisoning again, and then he'd have a great story to tell Riku.

His heart sank. By the time he finished Sephiroth, Riku would probably be twenty-five and setting up house and home with Leon. Leon didn't fail at everything he did. Leon didn't let the darkness overtake his heart despite his melancholy. Leon was more deserving of Riku's strength and devotion. Cloud was a mess. He couldn't even protect Riku from Roxas or the piece of Ansem in his heart and he'd been right there, watching the whole exchange like some sort of invalid. Riku would figure it out eventually, and it wouldn't take that long. Just a few phone conversations and Riku would realize how pitiful Cloud was. That he wasn't nearly as strong as Riku had thought. That those phone conversations full of Riku's despair and mistakes with Maleficent and Kairi wouldn't even compare to the abysmal disasters Cloud would wreck upon Gaea.

He'd made so many mistakes last time. He couldn't even stop Meteor. That had all been one pissed off Lifestream. Sure, maybe he'd killed Sephiroth, but Cloud had killed Sephiroth more times than any person should be murdered. What if Cloud showed up on Gaea and Sephiroth got into his head again? What if he let another friend die because of his weak heart? Zack had suffered a tragic death. He'd been cheated out of life too young. It was Cloud's fault. Who would it be next? Tifa? Marlene?

As things dreaded often go, Gaea appeared on the radar sooner than Cloud felt prepared for. He head throbbed, fingers shaking as he set the controls to manual to bring the ship into Midgar for a smooth landing. It was only as the planet grew larger that he realized something was very off. Midgar was—if it was at all possible—even filthier than the last time he'd seen it from the air. It seemed a wasteland, deserted. Adjoining the city was a small town. Tall buildings reached to the sky in various stages of completion. Zooming in on the screen, Cloud saw people walking through the town. A monument stood in the center.

"What the . . .?"

Cloud didn't bother to finish his sentence as he redirected the Gummi ship to the outskirts of this place he was sure hadn't existed before. Midgar had an excellent Gummi garage, but it was ruins now, so until he could find another one in this new town . . . Cloud just hoped that most people wouldn't know what a Gummi ship was, or the delinquents that used to live in this area of Gaea were sure to make off with a Gummi part or two. Without Cid here, Cloud was going to have one hell of a time finding new ones, and that was something he just didn't want to deal with right now.

He felt he ought to have Cid install a flashing neon sign on his Gummi when he returned to Hollow Bastion. It could say "I'm really not the person you want to fuck with today" or something of the sort, because Cloud thought he might seriously eat the first person who made life a little more difficult. Bets were on Reno.

It was when Cloud gathered his bag, took the Buster sword in hand, stepped out of his Gummi, and closed that hatch that he realized he didn't know where to go from here. He didn't know where Tifa and Vincent lived. He didn't even know where to look for Barrett. His initial plan had been to go to the Seventh Heaven in the Sector Seven Slums, but he now realized how stupid that idea had been. It seemed that somewhere between his first trip from Midgar to Traverse Town and now he'd forgotten that Sector Seven had been smashed by a giant metal plate.

He supposed that since it was Reno who'd harassed him through voicemail, Cloud should probably give him a call and demand to be picked up. There were a few problems in that. Cloud didn't really feel up to seeing Reno after the long flight, nor did he think he could handle even hearing the Turk's obnoxious voice. If he even heard the word "yo," there would probably be serious potential for the skull-cracking to begin. That was without mentioning that with Reno came Rude, and with the two of them came Rufus Shinra. Rufus Shinra was probably the last person that wanted to see Cloud with the way he felt right now.

Considering the circumstances, Cloud opted to call Tifa. She, at least, might be able to pinpoint his location. He yanked his bag over his shoulder and wandered toward the town, Buster sword in hand. He pulled his phone out, dialed Tifa, and he pressed the phone to his ear.

"Cloud? This is unexpected."

"Yeah . . ." said Cloud. He glanced up at the buildings as he entered the residential area. "It's about to get a little more unexpected. I need you to find me. Or help me find you."

"Find . . .? Cloud, what are you talking about?"

"I'm in Gaea. I was headed for Midgar, but Midgar's . . . like . . . practically nonexistent, unless you call an obscenely large pile of scrapheap existence."

"You're here? Why?"

"Reno. I'll explain everything when I see you. I'm just . . . kind of confused."

"Cloud, where are you?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that. I'm in a town . . . its right outside of Midgar—or what's left of it, anyway. It's not Kalm, though, so . . . I'm lost. What happened?"

"Meteor happened. I'll explain when I see you . . ."

"_When_ did this happen?"

"When Meteor happened. I'll explain later. Just . . . okay. I think you're in Edge. Think you can find your way to the monument?"

"That thing in the center of the city? Saw it from the Gummi."

"Yes. Go there. I'll meet you."

"Tifa, what the hell is Edge?"

"Cloud, put the phone down before you hurt yourself. I'm coming for you."

Cloud sighed.

"Fine."

"See you soon."

"Sure. Okay."

Cloud shut the phone and continued to walk toward the center of the city. He muttered under his breath as he walked, glancing upward and around, trying to take everything in. The place seemed in varying degrees of chaos. Like the Slums, the people of this city (Edge, he presumed) seemed intent on struggling just to get by. They were suffering; that much was apparent. He saw more than one person covered in skin discolorations, oozing dark pus from open sores on his way to the monument. The sight of it made his insides squirm; his body felt restless, his mind uneasy.

"So what's going on?" said Tifa. She was already standing by the monument as he approached. "Didn't think I'd catch you hanging around here."

"I said I'd visit, didn't I?"

"You said you were here because of Reno. You should have called to let me know you were coming."

"I didn't think I had to ask your permission first."

"At least I could have explained what's going on here before you showed up. Then you wouldn't have been lost."

"You could have explained to me back at Christmas. Or anytime while you were staying in Hollow Bastion. Don't know why you didn't."

"I tried to, Cloud. You just never want to hear anything that has to do with this place."

"For good reason."

"That's why you're here, isn't it? Reno said something about a job . . ."

"He said weird stuff has been going on, and he thinks it has something to do with Jenova."

"Have you called him yet?"

"No."

"Good. You should probably come back with me. The kids will be happy to see you."

"I'd kind of like to know what's going on first."

"I'll tell you there. Nothing will be a surprise to them."

Cloud sighed. Defeated, he followed Tifa through the town's winding streets and alleys. Another person afflicted with the strange condition passed. Cloud stared for a moment, and then nudged Tifa.

"What is that . . . _thing_ . . . everyone's got?"

"What thing?" said Tifa.

He stared. Had she not noticed?

"That . . . disease . . ."

"Oh. You mean the stigma."

"The stigma . . .?"

"Geostigma. As far as we know it's a side-affect of the body's immune system trying to purge it of the Jenova cells. Over half the population of Edge's gotten it by now."

"Is it fatal?"

"Has been, but there haven't been too many deaths. Largely causes fatigue, skin discoloration, open soars . . ."

"Dark pus . . ."

"Yeah. It's nasty business."

"Do you . . .?"

"No, but Denzel does. Don't fuss over it. It makes him uncomfortable." Tifa was silent as Cloud mulled this over, but her voice broke their reverie again. "The planet's taking its revenge."

"The planet . . .?"

"Still hasn't forgiven us for what happened with those mako reactors. It's been a disaster trying to rebuild. Shinra's trying to kiss the planet's ass. You know . . . if it had one. You saw the monument to the Lifestream back there? That's Shinra's doing. Reno said they're conducting an investigation into the stigma, but so far they've got nothing. We have no mako, so it's back to coal for some. Oil is where it's really at now, though, but it's been a disaster trying to get that off the ground, too."

"Things are really a mess around here, aren't they?"

Tifa laughed.

"Oh, that's only the start of it all. I'm glad you're here, though. I've got something for you."

"What? For me?"

"Well technically it's yours already, but I found it ages ago after you left. Asked Vincent to fix her up. To give a fair warning, he wants repayment for everything I ask him to do for you."

"I don't really have any gil . . ."

"He'll probably just be pleased to accept your assistance with _your_ delivery service. He hates having to run all over the planet for me. I think he's planning on disconnecting the phone lines while I'm sleeping soon."

"What delivery service? I don't have a delivery service."

"Don't you remember? Oh, what am I saying? Of course you don't. Before you left? You said something about starting your own business. That you'd make an excellent delivery boy—just you and Fenrir. Remember?"

"So you started it? I was just kidding."

"Thought it'd give you something to do while you're here." Tifa grinned and shrugged. "But I suppose you'll have more important things to worry about once you speak to Reno."

"I don't know what I'd ride, anyway. It's not like I have Fenrir anymore."

"Or I could've found her and had Vincent fix her up."

"Wait. That's what you have for me? You found Fenrir?"

"Sure did." Tifa grinned. "You can see her after you've settled in."

"She was my one true love, you know?"

Tifa laughed.

"I know. Riku's in for some competition."

At the mention of Riku, Cloud felt his stomach drop. He swallowed and nodded.

"Yeah. So . . . Do you know about this weird stuff Reno was talking about? He says Rufus Shinra wants to talk to me."

Tifa bit her lip as she stopped in front of a small building. He looked at the sign bearing the words "Tifa's Seventh Heaven."

"Listen, Cloud, there's something I need to tell you before we go in . . ."

"I thought you were going to explain everything once we got here," said Cloud. "You're telling me everything before we even get inside." He forced a smile and pushed on the door. She darted in after him, looked around as if searching for someone, and then relaxed a little. Her shoulders remained tense. "You okay? You look like you need a drink. Lucky you own a bar . . ."

He chuckled a little. Tifa shook her head.

"No, really, Cloud. I don't know if you've noticed, but the Heartless around here . . . they're gone."

Cloud raised an eyebrow.

"I hadn't, but now that you mention it . . . Is it just Edge, then?"

"No . . . the Lifestream sort of took care of it on its own."

"The Lifestream . . . well, I guess after Meteor . . ."

"The planet is really angry, Cloud."

"Don't you wish all the worlds would destroy the Heartless on their own? It _is_ the whole planet, isn't it?"

"It is . . ." Tifa frowned, wringing her hands together. She looked down at them and swallowed. "Listen . . . after the Lifestream destroyed all the Heartless some . . . unusual . . . stuff started to happen."

"Such as Geostigma?"

"That, and . . . oh, Cloud, I don't know how to say this . . ."

It could've been lucky for Tifa that she didn't have to, but it probably would have been better if she had. For at the moment Tifa's sentence broke off, a loud commotion sounded from up the stairs. Marlene's loud laughter rang through the building, and the sounds of her feet pounding down the stairs interrupted. Her eyes lit up as they landed on Cloud, and then she shrieked again as heavier steps pounded after her. She raced between Cloud and Tifa, ducked under a table, and hissed, "Shhh . . ."

Less than ten seconds later the most foreign familiar head of black, spiked hair came into view. Cloud's heart jumped to his throat, and Tifa dropped her head into her hand. She exhausted a long, audible sigh.

"I was trying to tell you . . ." she said.

Zack Fair stayed rooted at the bottom of the staircase. His bright, blinding smiled faded for a moment, and then it was back. He leaned again the doorway to the upstairs and grinned.

"Hey, grunt. Long time, no see."

Cloud's eyes rolled back into his head and he hit the floor before Tifa got the chance to catch him.

-----0-----

When Cloud opened his eyes again, he was surrounded by three heads peering cautiously down at him. His back no longer rested against the hard, wood floor of the bar, but on a soft, cushiony mattress. He tried to sit up, groaned, and lay back down again. Marlene broke into a huge grin, and as Cloud brought a hand to his aching forehead and squeezed his eyes closed, she threw her arms around his stomach.

"I'm so glad you're here, Cloud!" she said. He winced.

"Now, Marlene, back up and give him some room," said Tifa.

Cloud opened his eyes again. He gave Tifa a soft, wearied smile. His eyes passed over to Marlene. He patted her shoulder with a fatigued arm.

"Hey, Marlene. It's good to see you, too."

She grinned.

"Hi, Cloud."

His eyes tore from Marlene to the third face. His eyes flickered for a moment to the oozing, darkened spot marring Denzel's forehead, but Tifa's warning about how the stigma affected the boy pulled his eyes downward. He met Denzel's gaze and offered him a grin.

"Hey, kid. How're you doing?"

Denzel brought his hand to his forehead. His fingertips ghosted over the spot, and he released a strained chuckle.

"I'm okay. I missed you."

"Missed you, too." Cloud tried to sit up again, this time moving slower and more deliberate. He reached out one arm and wrapped it around Denzel's shoulders, pulling him into a hug. As his ear came close, Cloud rubbed the boy's back. "Everything's going to be okay. I'm here now."

He felt Denzel nod again his chest; Cloud's heart pulled tight. He shouldn't have been gone so long. He was part of this. This Geostigma was because of the Jenova cells. Cloud . . . he had to do something to fix this. He had to. He couldn't fail, but his doubts returned. Should he really have made a promise like that? As a sick feeling crept into his stomach, Denzel pulled back. Cloud shrugged.

"Sorry about down there. Thing I had a hallucination."

Tifa huffed.

"Look, Cloud, I know it's hard to believe, but . . ."

"I got the smelling salts," a familiar voice cut in, and then there was Zack. All the energy in Cloud seemed to drain again as he dropped back against the pillow. "Ah . . . guess you don't need them, then."

"No," said Tifa. "He's just having a hard time taking it in."

"Guess so. I hear I'm supposed to be dead."

"You _are_ dead," said Cloud. There was a hint of manic laughter in his voice. "I saw you die. I was there."

"No, I _was_ dead. Now I'm not. Critical difference, you know. I'm not dead. I was dead."

"How . . .? That doesn't just . . ."

"We don't know," said Tifa. "After the Heartless disappeared, people who had died just started to . . ."

"The Lifestream started to chuck us out," said Zack. "Don't get it myself, but here I am. I gotta say that for someone dead, though, I look better off than you. You look like you've seen a ghost."

Zack chuckled to himself for a moment and sat on the mattress by Marlene.

"Denzel, Marlene, why don't you give Zack and me a few minutes with Cloud?" said Tifa.

The children exchanged glances. Denzel nodded, and then he stood. Marlene followed him from the room.

"Vincent's out on a delivery," said Tifa, continuing. "Zack just got back from one, so . . ."

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"What was I supposed to say? It was only two weeks ago . . ."

"Month and a half, actually, but it took me forever to find someone I knew," said Zack. "Tifa says everyone's gone running back to Hollow Bastion."

"Wait . . ." said Cloud. He huffed, and tried to sit up again. He braced his body with his arms and slid back to rest against the pillows. "I mean . . . the Lifestream is just chucking out dead people?"

"Something like that," said Zack. "Not too many, but I happened to be one of them. Could have to do with the Jenova Reunion."

"The _what_? Oh, for the love of Shiva . . . Didn't we take care of that? Is Sephiroth . . .?"

"No one's seen or heard from Sephiroth," said Tifa. "But there's this trio . . . Kadaj and his gang. They're stirring up a lot of trouble around here. And they keep talking about mother . . ."

"They keep calling me brother," said Zack. "It's starting to piss me off."

"So what?" said Cloud. "You think they have something to do with the Jenova experiment?"

"I think they have something to do with _Sephiroth _and the Jenova experiment," said Zack.

"And I'd say it's safe to assume Rufus Shinra does, too, if he's looking for you," said Tifa. "They'd be trying to recruit Zack, here, too, except everyone thinks he's dead."

"He _is_ dead."

"_Was_ dead," said Zack. "_Was_. Geez, Spiky. Be careful or you'll start to hurt my feelings."

Tifa sighed.

"Maybe I should give you two some time alone."

"No. Tifa—"

She didn't listen. Cloud called after her to come back, but she was already out the door, her steps sounding down the stairs. He stared at the door, and then Zack cleared his throat and Cloud turned his face to really look at him. He looked just as Cloud remembered with the casual posture and assertive grin that stretched across his lips. He crossed his arms and looked Cloud over as if appraising him.

"Tifa caught me up to speed with what's going on with you," said Zack. "I hear you've been doing well for yourself."

Cloud opened his mouth and shut it again. He nodded.

"I was looking for you, you know?" said Zack. "When I woke up again. I don't remember much from the Lifestream. I just . . . yeah. I woke up and started looking for you. Tifa saw me wandering around the Sector Six Slums and brought me here. Told me I'd been dead. Dead for years now."

Zack paused. For the first time in ages, a longing look came into Zack's eyes and Cloud felt his heart clench. It was such a familiar look full of emotion and heart wrenching pain—a look that Cloud saw in Zack's eyes too many times as he struggled to make SOLDIER. A look that had been there when the Heartless invaded. It damn near encompassed Zack when Cloud let the darkness in, and here they were all these years later when Zack was supposed to be dead, and . . .

"She said you went back to Hollow Bastion," said Zack. "Tifa was going to call and let everyone know, but I think she wanted some time for me to get acclimated to what I'd learned first. I hear you and Squall are close."

Cloud nodded and made a noncommittal sound. He was torn between running from the room and never looking back and throwing himself at Zack without restraint. Zack cleared his throat.

"I . . . eh . . . I hear you're seeing someone. His name's . . . Riku, right?"

Riku. Oh sweet Shiva. It was Cloud's entire world crashing down on his head as the oddity of Riku's name passing through Zack's lips registered in his consciousness. The situation became even more uncomfortable because then it registered that Zack hadn't really remembered being dead, and therefore all those years hadn't passed, and it was as if . . .

"I didn't really expect you to wait around for me to drop out of the Lifestream, you know?" said Zack. "I mean I _was_ dead. As soon as Tifa said it'd been so long I figured you moved on by now and found yourself a new boyfriend. I just had kind of hoped . . ."

How was Cloud supposed to explain this one to Riku? Oh, yes, remember my dead boyfriend you're still wary about? He's alive again, and we're going to be living together in Edge while I try to track down Sephiroth during a Jenova Reunion. And that's not all, because half of Edge has become afflicted with some nasty disease called Geostigma. Remember Denzel from Christmas? He's dying from it, and I'm sure to let him down, so at least you're not the only one I'm screwing over, Riku. You just look like Ansem because I couldn't help. At least I'm not killing you.

Oh, yes. Cloud was sure that was going to go over marvelously.

"Cloud . . .?"

Cloud looked up into Zack's eyes and swallowed. This was too fucking much. Tifa should have warned him from the start. He couldn't take this. Here was Zack looking like Cloud had ripped out his heart, but knowing that he shouldn't feel that way because he'd been dead. He was rambling about being happy that Cloud was able to pick up with his life and move on, but he was so fixated on what was, to him, the sudden end of their relationship. As he rambled, Cloud thought of Riku, who looked like Ansem, sounded like Ansem, and was so very insecure about the state of their relationship right now. This sudden Zack Chucked from the Lifestream Incident was only going to destroy the last bit of self-confidence he had.

For possibly the thousandth time Cloud felt bad for thinking Riku was going to run off with Leon because of his own insecurities. He mentally kicked himself and tried to remember that he couldn't hog all the self-degrading time. Riku took his fair share, too, and he was especially sensitive to the Zack subject. It had never really been too big of an issue, though, because Zack was dead.

That was kind of the point, wasn't it? Zack _was_ dead, but now he wasn't, and Cloud needed to carefully orchestrate this. Riku had to find out about this at the exact right time (it wouldn't do any good to keep it from him, either), or this could turn into a bigger disaster than it already was very quickly.

Cloud scowled. He got the nasty suspicion Tifa would now expect him to relay the message to Aerith, Yuffie, Cid, and Leon as well. Tifa could be a spineless bitch sometimes.

"Cloud? Hey! Chocobo-head!"

Cloud's head snapped up. He frowned.

"What did you call me?"

"Nothing. Did you hear what I asked you?"

"No. Sorry. What was that again?"

"I was just wondering if I could get my sword back. Tifa said you had it."

Cloud stared. What . . .? His sword? The _Buster_ sword? Yeah, it had been Zack's, but that was before he died. That was years ago. It'd been ages, and Cloud had been fighting with it since. How dare Zack . . .?

"I'm . . ." said Cloud. He gaped. "I'm using it."

"Can't you get another sword?"

"Can't you?"

"Yeah . . ." said Zack. "I mean I guess I could, but it's mine. It was a gift. I know I died, but . . ."

Cloud raised both eyebrows. Zack shifted under the gaze, and something in his visage changed. Hardened. He was hurt—it was there in his eyes—upset that he'd "died" and someone else had come along and taken his place. And Tifa was sure to have told Zack all the sordid details about Riku and the realm of darkness, his working for Maleficent. Tifa was never as warm toward Riku as his other friends. She'd always liked Zack more than Leon. Zack was sure to hate Riku on principle, but was so angry when Cloud chased after the darkness that he was especially sure to hate Riku for being so young and involved with the darkness.

Without having said anything, Zack had sparked something akin to rage in Cloud. It boiled through his blood down to his fingertips and toes. No one had to say it yet, but when the time came to really have to defend Riku and the fights broke out, Cloud vowed that he would have the final say. Maybe he couldn't exactly help Riku with Roxas, Ansem, or the darkness, but he could put a stop to anything Zack (or Tifa) might have to say about it.

It didn't help that Cloud wasn't exactly feeling sweet toward his long-dead ex-boyfriend at the moment for demanding back the Buster sword. Or that, now that Zack was alive again, their former relationship suddenly seemed less happy than he had remembered it when Zack was dead. That demanding, slightly carefree and yet somewhat superior smirk had always grated on Cloud's nerves.

And Zack effing _knew_ it.

This had just crossed the border of too much into unacceptable territory. Zack continued to stare at him expectantly.

"If you want to keep it, I'll understand," said Zack.

"You know what?" said Cloud. He ignored the weak feeling that still encased his limbs from passing out and hitting the hard floor as he stood and crossed the small bedroom to the corner. His things sat there—bag and sword, propped against the wall. He grabbed the Buster and crossed back, thrusting it at Zack. "I don't care. Come back from the dead. Try to guilt me for moving on. Whatever. It's not like I stole your sword. You can fucking have it."

"What are you getting so pissed off about?"

"This is too much for me right now, okay? You were supposed to be dead."

Zack's face contorted.

"What? You preferred it that way?"

"I didn't say that. It just took me a really long time to get over you, and now I have . . . Excuse me, but this is just a little more overwhelming that I can handle right now. I am in a relationship. I have Riku to worry about. I have me to worry about. Denzel. The stigma. Sephiroth. While you've been floating around the Lifestream I've been down here trying to fix things and keep my sanity. I've been trying to get over you and move on. I have now, and I'm not going to feel bad about that. You were dead."

"I know I was dead. I didn't expect you to never move on. It just hurts because it feels like we were still together two months ago. I'm not trying to guilt you. Don't make me out to be the bad guy."

"Well I'm sorry it hurts, but I hurt, too. For a really long time. . ."

"I got that, Cloud. Tifa told me that, too. I'm not trying . . . okay, I was _going_ to try and get you back, but I now see that isn't going to happen."

"No, it's not."

"Cloud . . ." Zack sighed. "I can see you're really upset right now and this is probably more than you can handle, so why don't you go take a walk or something? Clear your head. Used to help you all the time. Or is that different, too?"

"I can't go for a walk unarmed."

"Take the Buster."

"Not interested. It's yours, remember? It was a gift."

"Cloud, you're taking this entirely too far. I asked; I didn't demand."

"Felt like it."

"So take it back. I'll give it to you officially, and then it can be a gift to you."

"I don't want it."

"Don't be so stubborn. In case you haven't noticed, this isn't easy on me, either. I kind of wish I'd have stayed dead."

"Yeah, well, so do I. At least things would've been less complicated that way."

Zack hung his head. He rubbed at his eyes and nodded.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No. I'm taking a walk."

"But you said . . ."

Cloud didn't stay to hear Zack finish the thought. He left the room, passed down the stairs, and ignored Tifa's calls as he strode through the door. Halfway down the foreign road, Cloud ducked into an alley and leaned against the cold, stone wall. The pressure built in his head, and he pulled out his phone. He punched away at the contact menu, and as the phone rang, the tension broke.

In Hollow Bastion, Leon rolled his eyes as Cid called something a "pieca shit" and dragged blueprints across the floor of Merlin's house. He muttered several choice swear words under his breath at the computer system, attempting to tap into the water lines in the hopes of figuring out just which pipe had burst when his cell phone rang. He frowned and pulled it from his pocket, expecting perhaps Riku's name on the display. When he saw Cloud's, he ducked from the house and answered.

It took several seconds for Leon to process that Cloud was not being tortured to death, but wailing in tears like he hadn't since he was six years old.

* * *

**_Okay, so as I said, I was so scared of effing this resurrection of Zack up. But I was really pleased when I finished writing. Then I reread it, and laughed my ass off, going, "Omigod, Cloud's _freaking_ out!" Cause when I was writing, I knew Cloud was in a bad mood. But I thought Zack was actually being a dick, and I was concerned I was going to make him hateable, which I don't want him to do. Zack is a good guy. But Cloud was just going off, and when I reread..._**

**_Nope. Zack didn't do anything wrong. Cloud just said way back that he was going to eat the first person who made life a little more difficult. Bets were on Reno, but it turned out to be Zack. Let it be known this is another chapter that turned out completely how I didn't think it would, but this was how Cloud felt, so I let him run with it._**

**_So I dedicate this chapter to Jediempress, because when she first posted A Life Renewed, I think I chewed her out for bringing Zack back first. Cause, darnit, I was getting there! Slowly, but I was! The little minx..._**

**_Ah, yeah. So anyway..._**

**BloodRedViolet**: Yeah, Riku is used to a lot of banter. Plus he's feeling very sensitive right now. I knew he was going to chew Leon out, because he doesn't want to be found, but it'll all work out in the end. I'm still not sure how those two became so close, though. ::shrug::

**Beatrisu**: I laughed when I saw you comment on the 45 chapters to go. I know! It seems like nothing after thinking "Only 80 left!" But yes. 45 Chapters is a monstrosity in and of itself. But now there's forty-four, and I love how the number just keeps shrinking. It's freaking fantastic. I'm going to cry when this story ends (one day) out of happiness and sorrow. I've already been working on it for nine months now. Riku is still sixteen. I lost track of the timeline, but I think it's probably around April. Maybe. Who knows anymore? Ah, well. Leon and Riku will settle things eventually. And then we can all be happy, except for Cloud, who apparently feels inferior to Leon.

**Red Kitsune Flames**: Ah, yeah. Riku's fears about his body. Didn't see that one coming until I got there and went . . . "I think that would kind of freak me out. He's gotta shower, right?" Don't know where that's going to lead, but I'll find out when I sit down to write the next chapter, I guess.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: I will be writing lots of HP fic. It was the longest fandom I was ever involved with, and the RonxDraco ship is just like home to me. I would not abandon CloudxRiku, but I feel three years is more than enough of a break from RonxDraco, and that my HP fans deserve some attention as well. Since I've never played FF8, all I know about Leon is from KH and what I read on Wikipedia, and the part that stands out is Rinoa and that he's closed off because of so much loss in his life that he doesn't want to lose anyone again. So I just ran with that. This is the Leon that came from it. It's nice to know that no one has yet yelled at me for completely destroying him.

**Riku-Rocks**: I really liked that connection I made between DiZ and Ansem the Wise, too. Felt very clever when I made that one. The conversation with Leon was always going to be a bad one. Just making the path for the one that will follow later. Don't know how much later because I only plan twenty in detail at a time, but I know it will be after sixty. Cause sixty to eighty still needs fleshed out.

**LunaLocket**: Ah, me and Jediempress weren't really fighting. We'd just been having a lot of conversations about how she keeps writing things I was thinking about writing before I get the chance. And I was laughing about it, cause I always wish people would snatch ideas out of my head and do them the way I want instead of having to put the effort in myself. Until she came along! Because she does! And I'm just go, "Why you little..." Cause that was my idea, too. So when A Life Renewed went up and I had already planned Zack's return, I went, "Of course, you little bitch." And proceeded to tell her so. We laughed about it. It's all good.

**C. 'Vanus' deLeon**: I love beginnings. Beginnings are such a joy for me to write. And yeah, most of my stories are dialogue heavy. I could probably write an entire story completely in dialogue without ever having to use tags or anything. Cause I'm best with my dialogue. Don't know why, but it's a strength. There is going to be much more of Cloud in Edge, cause Sora doesn't see Cloud until his third visit to Hollow Bastion (I watch that cutscene a lot on my iPod - Thank you, KHVids). So that should be much fun. But I got the ball rolling now. You and I can both anticipate where it'll end up, because I still only have a loose idea.

**-find.me.please-**: It is nice to be called kickass. Thank you for all your lovely comments. I am great, aren't I. (Now ending arrogance)

**BlackIceNinja**: Oh, Riku and his pride issues. Thanks for the comments. Yes, Leon was the best and hardest part of that chapter to write. Glad everyone enjoyed that call so much (or maybe because it was the last scene in the chapter...)

**Jediempress**: I am itching for And Love Said No. Partially because I commission it, and mostly because you're doing a fantastic job with it. I know about bad weeks. I had a long one myself. I hate funerals, too. I especially hate funerals for someone who's committed suicide. They are worse than natural causes and murders, possibly put together. I had another update to make you smile, though! That counts for something, right? _And _it was dedicated to you!

**_To everyone else: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope I'm still doing a good job and haven't lost too many people's interest. I know it's long, and I thank the people who have stuck with me this far. Let me know how I'm doing, okay? Because I'm starting to get really nervous that this is rapidly turning into crap._**

**_Next chapter is Twilight Town Day One, and we are officially into the KHII Storyline._**

**_Celebrate, baby. 44 to go._**

**_Please keep hanging in there with me folks. I'll update as fast as I physically can._**

**_Love to every reader. Even the lurkers. They're people, too._**

**_-D_**


	57. This

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **057. Annoyance

**Word Count**: 6,178

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku's in a bad mood, Twilight Town is the lamest world ever, and don't even get him started on Cloud . . .

**Disclaimer**: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I'm sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let's face it: I don't even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there's no proof of, because I'm deluded like that.

**Author's Note**: I officially welcome all readers to Kingdom Hearts II. It's about time, huh?

* * *

**_Step Fifty-Seven: This_**

In the end after all the berating he piled upon himself, Riku undressed and showered in the dark. He stopped by the white room beforehand and badgered Naminé until she stole a robe from DiZ, because he wasn't going to travel from the bathroom to his bedroom in only a towel. Especially not with DiZ here, and especially when he was so keen on denying his identity—the fake and real one. He knew he was being ridiculous and making things harder (and more complicated) than they needed to be, but Riku couldn't handle this yet. He could hardly handle Naminé knowing, so there was absolutely no way he could let her see.

When he stepped from the shower, Riku drew the robe on, and silently thanked Naminé for ensuring it came with a hood. He left his clothing outside the bathroom as they prearranged, and headed for his bedroom. His steps were hurried, eager to avoid all human contact, and once in the room, he bolted the door shut. Riku turned out the lights and crawled into the bed.

He couldn't take this. Couldn't handle this. This was all wrong, and he knew he should just grow a pair, but he couldn't look at himself like this. It was awkward moving like this, but seeing it was just so much worse. If he really wanted to point out how badly this unraveled him, it was worth mentioning that Riku couldn't even put words to what "this" was anymore.

He tossed and turned for a better part of the night. Hours grew long as the moon raised high in the sky, changing the shapes and angles of the shadows casting across his elongated, awkward form. Sleep wouldn't come to him as he dwelt on his appearance, on that phone call with Leon, on the absence of conversation with Cloud and the reality that he really ought to call him tomorrow.

Riku groaned, and his adrenaline heightened. Now he wasn't going to get enough sleep. He couldn't be drowsy in front of the monitors. What happened if he fell asleep, Roxas and his friends tried to go somewhere they couldn't, and the whole system crashed with the real Roxas inside of it? Organization XIII might break in. Sure, Riku thought DiZ was a little over the top worrying about that one, but the more he thought about it, eventually he remembered that Organization member in the World That Never Was. The one who told him to do what he would with Roxas, because he betrayed the Organization.

He just didn't understand. Did Organization XIII want Sora awake? Asleep and out of commission? Were they just pissed off at Roxas, or were they angry enough to destroy him? If that happened, what would happen to the piece of Sora's heart that Roxas held in him? Would it go back to Sora, or would it be lost forever?

These questions were only part of why he couldn't fall asleep in front of the monitors. He needed to sleep. He rolled over again, but there seemed to be no comfortable spot for his body. As this thought flitted through his head, he came back to sheer misery that this wasn't his body. If he were in his body, perhaps he could get comfortable enough to fall asleep. He could glance out the window and be comforted by the night sky (his and Cloud's sky), but he couldn't even take solace in that, anymore. Not when he looked like this, and dreaded calling Cloud tomorrow, because he sounded like this, and "this" was nothing short of a complete disaster.

That went without mentioning he needed to call Cloud tomorrow not just because they promised to keep in touch despite how bad things got or how hard things were, but he also just royally fucked up his friendship with Leon. He knew Leon tended to be a touchy subject with Cloud (for some ridiculous, unfounded reason Riku had not yet figured out other than Cloud was highly insecure), but they were best friends. Riku couldn't handle thinking that Leon might be mad at him, too, right now on top of everything else. Not that Riku thought Cloud was mad at him, but things were emotionally strained, and adding this Leon thing to an already horrific situation was just unbearable.

Riku felt like a rubber band pulled tight, ready to snap under the tension. He wanted to lash out at someone, anyone, but he'd already done that with Leon to an extent. It didn't improve his mood. This restlessness only increased the headache forming behind his eyes. His hands shook, fingers twitching against the soft fabric of his pillowcase.

-----0-----

The bright light from the computer screens was unwelcome to his eyes. His temples thumped and pulsed, crept behind his vision, and traveled into the front of his forehead. The pain was excruciating, as if someone had grabbed chunks of his hair around the hairline and pulled steady without relent. His eyelids felt puffy and itchy, dry, and Riku rubbed at them before trying to refocus his vision on the monitors.

Sora was up to seven percent today. Roxas and his friends were boring the hell out of him. It was just half-past one, and Riku wanted to take a nap. DiZ, however, hadn't been seen around the mansion all day. Naminé had no idea where he was, and even if he were around, Riku expected he'd receive a lecture instead of rest should he ask if he could lie down. His head felt hazy. It drooped down, and his chin pressed against his collarbone.

Naminé was out, obtaining lunch and new clothes for Riku, so he couldn't even call on her for company. This was a real shame considering how tired he was. If Roxas was more entertaining, Riku was sure his interest could be perked, but Twilight Town Roxas was such a bore. They didn't do anything fun. At this point Riku would rather be watching Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie, for blitzball was sure to be more interesting than whatever it was Roxas did. It was a good thing Sora had Riku all those years, or Sora probably would've been boring, too.

Now that he came to think of it, Sora was kind of boring. Boring and lazy. Riku had always been the one with the ideas, Kairi with the laughter, and Sora just kind had to step up if he wanted to be included.

In this group of friends, Hayner was the one with ideas, and that wasn't saying much. Hayner's ideas involved ice cream and the clock tower, which might have been fun for the completely broke teenagers (Riku considered sending munny through the data machine just to level up his entertainment), it was so dull to watch. Their conversation was mindless. They never fought, and if they did, it was little more than a petty squabble. Riku wondered if it was just Twilight Town, or if he, Sora, and Kairi had been weird friends. He could never remember life on the Islands being this uneventful.

Considering what had happened to the Islands, though, and his role in it, Riku figured they were probably weird. Sora was a Keyblade master. Kairi was a Princess of Heart. Riku was a whole lot of trouble. Yeah. They were definitely just weird.

He felt his eyelids slipping shut again, but then a loud siren blared through the computer room. Riku groaned and looked up, expecting to see a train on the way to the nonexistent beach again. He searched for the threat on the security points, but there was no bright, red dot by the train station. Instead, the warning signaled from somewhere in the Sunset Residential District. That was odd. There were a few weak points in the system there, but nothing too major. There were no alleys that couldn't be taken, or paths that led to a no-access boundary.

As suddenly as the alarm signaled, it stopped again. The system didn't crash. All was well in Twilight Town. If Riku didn't know better, he'd think he imagined it.

Maybe he did imagine it. He was practically dead to the world, after all. Something in his heart, however, told him that it was real. He heard the sirens, saw the dot, and if it had been a hallucination, he was sure to have marked the beach, not some random residential area.

Riku looked at the data machine and then back to the monitors. He had to do something about this. With Naminé and DiZ gone, he couldn't ask either for advice, and if something bad happened . . . Riku couldn't let anything happen to Roxas because he was too tired and careless to do his job right. If he let something happen to Roxas, he let something happen to Sora, and Riku had already screwed Sora over enough already.

Riku turned over the paper bag his breakfast had come in. Grabbing a pen, he jotted down a quick note to whomever might come looking for him. He mentioned the sirens, said he'd gone to check it out, and put down the time. He didn't think anyone had infiltrated as he couldn't see any new presences on any of the grids, but if Organization XIII had found them . . . If they found a way to disguise themselves . . . Riku wasn't taking any chances.

He punched a few keys on the keyboard and set up the data machine for transport. DiZ said there was another portal on the other side—one that could travel back to the real Twilight Town. He knew the password (sea-salt), and it should work just like this one. He felt a bit of apprehension, afraid of getting stuck in the system, and would have felt better if DiZ were here to watch over things, but there was no time for that.

Riku stepped into the gap and closed his eyes. He flipped the switch.

-----0-----

DiZ did a good job. Riku had to give him that. He wandered around the faux Twilight Town for almost two hours, looking for signs of an infiltration, but found nothing. He couldn't even find a hint that these people were nothing but strongly manipulated pawns of artificial intelligence. Everything seemed so real that Riku had a hard time believing this was nothing but inputs and data. He even headed back after the first twenty minutes just to make sure, but then Hayner, Roxas, Pence, and Olette crossed his path, and he knew this was just an alternate reality. Save for himself, Roxas was the only real person in this place.

When two hours passed and he found nothing in the Sunset District or anywhere else, Riku headed back to the mansion. He'd have to mention this flaw in the system to DiZ. Surely it was just a glitch in the system. The Hollow Bastion computers freaked out hourly for no apparent reason, so there nothing unusual about a fault or two. It was bound to happen. Computers could only be as good as they were programmed, and this was just a miscalculation due to human error.

Satisfied and relieved that there was no infiltration and he hadn't crossed paths with any member of Organization XIII, Riku headed into the basement of the faux Twilight Town mansion. Naminé should be back with lunch, and now that he could relax knowing Roxas was still safe, he realized he was starving.

-----0-----

By the time Riku went down to his room for the night, Sora's progress climbed to eight percent. The progress was slow, but the fact it was still moving lightened Riku's spirits. Naminé said there was a lot of memory to go through, and now that Sora's heart was responding, it would only be a matter of time until Roxas's piece of the heart started to return. Once that happened, progress would pick up. Sora, she said, would be awake before he knew it.

Riku couldn't wait. Twilight Town and Roxas Watch was the most effing boring thing he'd ever done, and that included weeding through the library in Hollow Bastion. At least some of those books had been insanely interesting, if not a little terrifying.

He slid the Organization robe off, happy for a lack of mirrors in this room as he locked the door. The hood and restrictive movement of the stiff coat was too much right now. He felt as if he were suffocating, and the robe's collar only made it worse. As the coat fell to the floor, his throat felt clearer. He drew a deep breath and closed his eyes a moment before he sat on the bed's edge.

Better get this over with, Riku thought, as he grabbed his phone from the nightstand and dialed Cloud's number. As he listened to the phone ring, he pulled a pack of cigarettes from the top drawer. He hadn't asked DiZ if he could smoke in here, and he didn't intend to. It was his experience that if you asked, people noticed the smell of smoke, and claimed it bothersome, but if they didn't know, they never really found out. In the chance he did smell it, at least then Riku could know it actually bothered him. Not that he wanted to be a bother, but it wouldn't hurt his feelings all that much if he pissed DiZ off over a cigarette. DiZ got on his effing nerves. Riku lit up.

The first call went to voicemail, so Riku left a short message, hung up, and tried again just in case Cloud didn't answer because he didn't hear it or something.

"Hello?"

Riku frowned. Cloud's voice sounded scratchy and thick.

"Cloud? Are you okay?"

". . . Yeah. Leon?"

"No. Riku."

"Oh. You sound dif . . . oh, yeah."

"Different, were you going to say?"

"Yeah. Sorry. You woke me up. I'm not thinking too clearly right now."

From the slurred pronunciation of his words, Riku already gathered that. His frown deepened. Something about the things he said . . . Sleeping at this time of the evening? Cloud was always at least awake until midnight. Why would Leon be calling him? He was supposed to be in Hollow Bastion. Then he remembered the strange, shocked tone Leon had last night when he asked if Cloud had called at all, but Riku had been too annoyed to really register that it might mean something. Surely Cloud would've called him by now if he knew about that quasi-fight between Leon and him, but he hadn't.

"Cloud, why would Leon be calling you?"

"Cause I called him. He was supposed to call me back."

Cloud released a long yawn. Riku shook his head. His fingers flexed as he switched his cigarette from one hand to the other and propped the cell phone between his ear and shoulder. The now free hand clutched at his knee, released, and repeated.

"Why would you have to call Leon? You live together."

"Oh . . . right. I didn't tell you. I went to Gaea."

"Gaea."

"Yeah. Reno called."

"Reno, your ex-boyfriend, Reno?"

"Yeah, and he's got a job for me. He thinks it has something to do with Jenova. So I came to check it out."

"Let me get this straight. Your ex-boyfriend called you about some job that _might_ have to do with Jenova, and by extension, Sephiroth. So you just picked up and went back to the world where you first got lost in the darkness. You're at the place where you lost yourself to the darkness to go after the guy you can't keep dead because of your darkness. Because your ex-boyfriend called you."

There was a pause on the other end. When Cloud spoke again, his voice sounded clearer and more alert.

"You're mad."

"Oh, no, I'm not mad; I'm just waiting for an explanation. I mean there's got to be one, right? Because I just can't believe you'd do something that fucking stupid."

"Listen. Reno called me, okay? He said some weird stuff's been going on and that it appears to have to do with Jenova. Rufus Shinra wants me for some job, so I figured Sephiroth is probably behind it. That's a _good_ thing. I have to find him and finish him off."

"Oh, I'm sure Sephiroth is behind it, but that isn't a good thing. Not when Gaea is concerned. I mean, really, Cloud. Don't you think that it's a little weird Sephiroth stays hidden so well all the time, but then he finds you? Don't you think that maybe he's got something planned, and that's why he wants you there?"

"I'm not a complete idiot. I realize that Sephiroth is probably up to something . . ."

"And you just walked right into it."

"You don't understand. The Lifestream . . . the Lifestream killed all the Heartless here. It's pissed off. It's chucking out dead people like resurrection is nothing spectacular."

"Well that's fantastic for you considering the mess you're walking into."

"Riku, listen. I think . . . I think Sephiroth's planning another Jenova Reunion."

"Right. And you have Jenova cells, so you being there for that is a good idea because . . .?"

"Because I can't let that happen? I have to fight him anyway. He's . . ."

"He can manipulate you! What part about that don't you understand?"

"I understand that! I think it's safe to say I understand that better than you do. You don't see what's going on here. It's horrible. The planet's taking its revenge, and I'm part of this. I don't want to be, but I am. Denzel's dying, Riku. There's this disease—this Geostigma—that comes from the immune system fighting off the Jenova virus. It's horrible, and I can't turn my back on this. I have to do something. I've failed the people here so much already by not finishing off Sephiroth for good."

Riku sighed.

"You could've told me."

"I didn't think you'd take it like this."

"Right. Forgive me for being worried about you."

As the words passed Riku's lips, he frowned. Right. He was calling because of Leon. What was wrong with him? Why did he just keep freaking out on everyone? If he were face to face with Roxas, he'd probably flip out on him for being boring. Riku took a deep breath.

"Ri, I'm not . . ."

"Forget it," said Riku. "I'm sorry. I . . . You know what's going on better than I do. I'm just on edge all the time. It's not you. I just don't want you to get hurt. I love you."

"I love you, too, Ri . . ."

"So . . . you talked to Leon?"

"Yeah. I called him this morning. Why?"

"Well, I was calling about Leon. I guess you heard."

"Heard? Heard what?"

"Leon called me last night."

"He did? Really? He actually called?"

"Yeah. He said you gave him my number."

"I just thought that, you know, you might like having someone else who won't take no for an answer. I know Leon would understand what happened, and he wouldn't look down on you for it. This can't be easy for you, so I just . . . I thought you could use a friend, since I have to tell you I'm proud of you and all."

Riku brought a hand up to his closed eyes and rubbed his thumb over his eyelids. He sighed.

"Yeah. You're right. I just . . ."

"What happened?"

"I freaked on him." Riku put out his cigarette and gesticulated violently in the air. He grabbed another cigarette, brought it to his lips, and touched the lighter's flame to the tip. "I just . . . I went off about not wanting him to know, and . . . I was horrible. I was defensive, and proud, and horrible. He didn't tell you?"

"No, he didn't." Cloud was silent for a few seconds. "He was really hurt that you didn't want him to know."

"I know he was. I could tell, and I felt bad about that, but I was so pissed off that he wouldn't just leave me alone . . . I keep snapping at everyone. I don't know what to do."

"I'm the wrong person to ask. I freaked out on Tifa _and _Leon today. I was sleeping on my Gummi because I don't know where to go right now. Everything's been getting to me."

Riku rubbed his thumb over the cigarette filter. He bit his lip.

"Including me?"

Cloud sighed.

"A little. Don't get me wrong. I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you, but I wish it didn't have to turn out like this."

Riku nodded.

"Yeah. Me too. And now I have this Leon thing on me. I . . . I don't know what to say to him. I wanted to call him back, and I apologized and everything, but he told me he was going to hang up before we said more things that we'd regret, and he did. He hung up on me. I . . . I don't know what to say to him. I feel bad calling you about it, because I've been dragging you through hell with me and this Ansem thing, and I know you get insecure about Leon . . ."

"I'm an idiot, and I have no right to act the way I do about him. I know you're friends, I know you're with me, and neither one of you deserves for me to put myself between your friendship. It's not my place to say who you can be friends with, even if he's my best friend."

"I know. I just . . ."

"I'm more insecure than any person should be, and I'm especially possessive when it comes to you. We promised that we weren't going anywhere, right?"

Riku smiled. It had only been around a week since that night in the World that Never Was, but it felt like years ago with how much had changed since then. He nodded.

"We also promised that we wouldn't let each other screw this up just because we're insecure."

"Don't worry about dragging me through hell," said Cloud. "I'm on Gaea now. You'll get your fair share of hell from me, too. By the time this is over, the ugly Ansem thing will seem like nothing."

Riku laughed.

"I certainly hope not."

"Well maybe not to that extent, but you'll see just what a mess I am, too. As for Leon, just be honest with him, okay?"

"I feel really bad about it. I don't want to push him away. It feels like Sora, and my sister, and Destiny Islands all over again. I was too defensive, and I just ended up hurting someone who did nothing but worry about me. I want to fix it before it gets . . ."

"Before it gets like it did with Sora."

"Before I really hurt him and nullify everything good you've ever said about me. Yeah."

"Leon's tough, Ri. Don't discredit him so much. He probably didn't mention anything because he realizes all you need is space right now."

"Maybe . . ."

"Don't worry about it. This will blow over. But speaking of . . . How is Sora coming along?"

"Eight percent restoration. Roxas is awake, and he's boring, and broke. I get to delete trains full of people on their way to the nonexistent beach pretty frequently, though."

"Sounds like fun."

"I want to kill myself."

"I hope you're exaggerating."

Riku laughed.

"Maybe a little."

"So does that mean it's going well, then?"

"Yes. It's going well."

"DiZ still creeping you out?"

"DiZ is the least of my worries right now. I had to shower last night."

"So what?"

"Cloud, think about that for a second."

"Oh. Right. How did that go?"

"I think I'm clean, but it's hard to tell as I did it in the dark."

"That bad?"

"I can't even stand to look at myself."

"This is all going to pass, you know? One day this is going to seem so far away you'll hardly remember it, and you'll be grateful that it happened."

"Why's that?"

"I don't know. Really bad experiences are always like that. In the end you're thankful because they make you who you are. That's all this is. One day you'll be grateful because it will have made you so much stronger."

"Maybe . . . Hey, Cloud?"

"Huh?"

"You know, whatever's going on in Gaea that's so bad right now? That's going to pass, too."

Cloud sighed.

"I hope you're right."

-----0-----

As Riku stared at the drab events of the alternate Twilight Town the following day, he ran the conversation with Cloud over in his head. He knew Leon had been upset, but hearing Cloud confirm it made him feel so guilty. He felt so vindictive and, ironically, heartless to have gone off on Leon like that.

There was a lot going on in Twilight Town today, not that it was interesting. Posters for the Struggle were printed and posted as bright-eyed, hopeful teenagers signed up for the preliminaries. They all hoped for the chance to win some lame trophy and the chance to go against some hyped-up pretty boy with bad fashion sense named Setzer. He was the defending champion, which wasn't that surprising considering he was a grown man competing against a bunch of kids. It was revolting.

Besides the Struggle, there was some big ordeal about missing photographs. Riku almost laughed at the affronted locals. Imagine the horror. What kind of people freaked out about missing photographs so much that it was a town crisis? Seifer was all beside himself, complaining loudly to anyone that would listen that it was Roxas and his friends. The people who did listen were so disappointed in that nice boy, Roxas, for being such a thief.

They were _photographs_. Riku didn't get what the big deal was. He couldn't even figure out why anyone would want to steal photographs in the first place.

Sora rose up to ten percent that night. Riku gave Naminé a kiss on the cheek about twenty minutes after Roxas went to bed before leaving the computer room. He retired to his bedroom and fell asleep within minutes after sliding under the blankets.

Naminé was already in the computer room when Riku walked in the next morning. She sat by the computer monitors, staring at the grids with keen interest. Riku sat beside her and accepted his breakfast.

"Roxas dreamt of Sora again last night," said Naminé.

"Yeah? That's good, right?"

Naminé nodded.

"I think so. Roxas is already awake. He's at the usual spot." Naminé pointed toward the screen. "I'm going to go chain together some more of Sora's memories. Call if you need anything."

"I know the drill."

Naminé left the room, leaving him with Roxas and friends again.

"Yeah, that's just wrong," said Pence.

"Seifer's gone too far this time," said Olette.

Riku frowned. What the hell were they talking about?

"I mean, it's true that stuff's been stolen around town," said Hayner. Riku rolled his eyes. They were still on that, then? "And we've got a score to settle with Seifer and everything. So if he wants to think we did it, I can't really blame him. See . . . that's not what really bugs me. What _really_ bugs me is that he's goin' around tellin' everybody we're the thieves! Now the whole town and their mothers are treating us like the Klepto Club! Have you ever been this ticked off before in your life? 'Cause I haven't. Nuh-uh. _Never_. Now . . . what to do."

"Get a life?" Riku suggested.

He groaned at Hayner's theatrics as he paced the screen, shaking his hands around as if he were trying to assault an invisible Seifer. Olette looked as if she was going to say something, but then looked to Roxas, who only shrugged. Riku grunted at the screen.

"You people need a hobby."

"Um, well . . ." said Roxas. "We could find the real thieves. That would set the record straight."

"Hey, that sounds fun," said Pence.

"Clearly no concept of the word 'fun'," said Riku.

"What about Seifer?" said Hayner.

"First, we gotta clear our names," said Roxas. "Once we find the real culprit, everyone will get off our backs."

Hayner groaned, but then Pence interrupted, freaking out about all their photos being gone, only he couldn't say the word photo. Riku frowned. That was weird. Why couldn't they say photo? The stupid idiots didn't even really question it, either, just assuming that the word 'photo' could be stolen, too. That didn't even make sense. You couldn't steal a word.

Riku paused. Except this was a world made of data where it wouldn't be difficult to just erase a word. He glanced around, hoping DiZ wasn't hovering over him and demanding to know why 'photo' had just been eradicated from the alternate Twilight Town world's collective vocabulary. Unfortunately, DiZ just walked into the room and took Naminé's vacant seat. Riku panicked. He hadn't done it, had he? Accidentally deleted any and everything to do with photography by accident when he'd been tired or bored? This couldn't be his fault, could it?

His interest was perked as Roxas and his friends headed from the Usual Spot. As his friends ran ahead, Roxas paused, swaying on the spot, and then he passed out. DiZ nodded and tapped a few keys on the Keyboard.

"His heart is returning. Doubtless he'll awaken very soon," said DiZ.

"Who? Sora?"

"Precisely. I presumed this would happen as Roxas's bit of heart leaves him for Sora."

"Dizzy spells?"

"He's dying . . ."

"You mean he's going back to the way he was."

"It's the same thing."

Roxas sat up and rubbed his head as Olette ran back into the screen and urged him to follow. Roxas ran off after her and DiZ nodded.

"There we are. Good as new."

DiZ moved to stand but Riku held out a hand to stop him.

"Wait," said Riku. "There seems to be a bigger problem with the photo thief than I thought."

"What's that?"

"The word photo is gone now, too. They can't say it."

"But for that to happen, the data would have to be deleted."

"I don't think I did it, but . . ."

"Keep an eye on it. Call me if there's more trouble."

Riku nodded as DiZ grabbed the chair and left the room. His attention turned back to the screen as Roxas and his friends went around to various shops inquiring about the thief and trying to clear their names. In the end they decided to see if Seifer knew anything about what was going on, and Riku was starting to get bored again. Naminé brought him lunch, and he ate as he stared blankly as the day's events unfolded. Seifer was not in a good mood to see the fantastic foursome. Riku sat up as he and Roxas got into a fight, swinging Struggle clubs at each other. The children of Twilight Town must have been dropped on their heads one too many times, Seifer especially.

Riku snorted at Seifer's poor form and tactics. They looked like savages lunging at each other like that. Eventually Roxas knocked Seifer back, clearly the victor, though not nearly as ferocious as when Riku had fought him. Rai and Fuu came to Seifer's defense (as usual, because apparently Seifer was some kind of god), and Pence stepped forward. He held out his annoying camera to snap a picture of this pathetically proud moment, and as he did so . . . Riku sat forward. He stared at the long, spindly white thing as it fluttered away with the camera. His eyes stayed focused as Roxas ran after the Dusk, and Riku screamed for DiZ as loud as his voice could manage.

Naminé got there first, but DiZ shortly followed. Their eyes moved to where Riku pointed at the screen, where Roxas chased the Dusk through the woods toward the alternate version of this mansion. If possible, Naminé's eyes went bigger than Riku's, and DiZ pushed Riku from the chair.

"Get the Keyblade," he said.

"What?"

"Get the Keyblade!"

Naminé ran off toward the room where Sora slept soundly. Riku cocked an eyebrow.

"Why the Keyblade?"

"How else do you expect him to fight it off? It's there to take him away. You certainly don't expect him to defeat a Nobody with a simple Struggle club."

The Dusk moved in a particular way as if luring Roxas to follow. It almost beckoned as they moved through the woods, and then they came out into the clearing before the mansion gates.

"We have come for you, my liege."

The words appeared in Roxas's thoughts. DiZ didn't say anything, but Riku got the distinct impression that if DiZ weren't so serious, he might have said, "I told you so." The mouth zipper of the Dusk opened, and for the first time since the World that Never Was, he saw Roxas for who he was again. The Struggle club did virtually nothing to the Nobody, and not for Roxas's lack of trying. When Naminé ran back into the room, Riku stepped back toward the stairs, and she flung the Keyblade into the data machine.

"I'm translating the Keyblade into data," said DiZ, as he furiously mashed the keyboard. "When he is safe again, I'll bring it back. I want you to keep it in here should Roxas need it again. Understood?"

The Keyblade vanished from before his eyes and reappeared in Roxas's hands. Naminé walked back and stood beside Riku for a second, placing her hand on his forearm.

"I'm going to go keep an eye on Sora," she said.

Riku only nodded to show he heard. His eyes still focused on the screen as Roxas fought off the Dusk, his view broken momentarily as Naminé left the room. It took all of ten swings and the Dusk fell at Roxas's hands. When the Nobody vanished, the missing photographs swirled in the wind, and fell to the ground. DiZ pressed several more keys, and the Keyblade reappeared in the data processor. Riku nodded.

"Understood."

Hayner, Pence, and Olette reappeared on the screen. They mused over the return of the word 'photo,' went back to their usual spot together, and took notice that all the photos stolen were of Roxas.

"Wouldn't it be weird if the thief wanted to steal the real Roxas or something?" said Pence.

Riku let out a held breath. For once Pence had actually said something credible. Steal the real Roxas.

He watched in silence as the three friends left the usual spot. Roxas followed after, walking alone. As he passed through the gate, the sun peered into his vision, and Roxas blacked out again.

"Where . . . am I?"

Riku frowned. Was that . . .?

"Who's there?" said Roxas.

"Who are you?"

Roxas awoke again thanks to something DiZ put into the system. Riku cocked his head.

"Was that . . . Sora?" said Riku.

"They've connected," said DiZ.

"They _were_ after Roxas, weren't they?"

DiZ nodded, and as he did so, the computer announced Sora's restoration at twelve percent. DiZ continued to stare at monitors, and Riku walked closer, standing next to the man. He peered past him at the scene, trying to get a better look. He was searching, possibly for answers to questions that he couldn't even formulate. Perhaps he was searching for something to assuage his confusion. DiZ only frowned.

"Organization miscreants . . . They've found us."

Riku felt his heart jump to his throat. That security breach the other day. The missing photographs. The missing data for the word 'photo.' Why didn't he see this sooner? Organization XIII . . . They couldn't . . .

"But . . . why would the Nobodies steal photographs?"

"Both are nothing but data to them. The fools could never tell the difference. We are running out of time. Naminé must make haste."

Riku felt sick. They were running out of time, and he just got here. They were running out of time, but he was so busy being selfish . . . He should have seen that Organization XIII had found them, or at least that there was more going on than what appeared. He should have handled the situation instead of screaming for DiZ. He just should have done something.

Riku stared blankly at Roxas on the monitor as he walked home for dinner, still confused by what was happening to him. The Nobodies, the blackouts, and Roxas didn't know what was going on. Roxas didn't know he was going back to Sora—dying as DiZ called it, since it was apparently the same thing.

Riku looked away.

* * *

**_I got so much response on the comment that I feared this was turning into crap that I feel I must address the issue:_**

**_This is a long story. This is a long story with long chapters. I understand a lot of people just don't get the time to read long stories or long chapters. I also understand that it's hard to retain interest in something this ridiculously long, especially when it isn't all new storyline. That's what I'm worried about. That it just isn't as good as it was. I hope this isn't the case, and I still like it, but I am writing it so everything I want to see happens thus making me biased. I also worry that taking so long to update makes the story lose interest, but I do have a job, a lot of things I have to pay for, and a limited yet demanding social life, so there's nothing I can really do about that, either._**

**_I guess just let me know if something felt weak or just wasn't very good. If I don't have a good reason for why I did it that way, I need to watch it. And please let me know what you did like, too, because I'll know to keep doing it._**

**_I see no need to reply to each and every one of you because there was a general consensus. It was a good idea to bring Zack back. Good to know as I went back and forth for ages about whether I should do it or not._**

**_Spazzy Cloud was intentional. Sort of. You know, if I had realized that was what I was trying to do before I finished writing the chapter. I love how I just sit down, write, and it comes out better than I planned._**

**_To address questions that were posed by various individuals:_**

**_-Cloud has the AC outfit in KH2 complete with the sleeve, so yes, I'm giving him Geostigma. His appearance in KH2 is the reason, really, why I'm writing this AC tie-in in the first place._**

**_-To be honest, no, I wasn't sure that I'd be able to do AC and KH2 in the prompts I have left without rushing it, but then I went to KHVids, approximated how long it will take, and I think it should work out exactly as I want it as KH2 WILL end officially in Prompt 95. The last five is all aftermath. Don't worry. I got this. It's funny, though, cause I did initially think it would take about 40, and I'm almost spot-on._**

**_-I have not yet decided the fate of precious/crazy-ass Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz yet. I do know that I will enjoy torturing both Cloud and Zack with them, however._**

**_I look forward to writing the next chapter as I'm very excited about it. Excited kind of in the same way I was about that club chapter way back when. I hope that means good things._**

**_Until then I wish you all well._**

**_Love,_**

**_-D_**


	58. Reconciliation

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **058. Boredom

**Word Count**: 6,020

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Cloud doesn't know what to do. Leon comes to the rescue.

**Disclaimer**: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I'm sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let's face it: I don't even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there's no proof of, because I'm deluded like that.

**Author's Note**: I never intended to put an Advent Children crossover in this story, but then I started looking ahead (sometimes planning is a good thing) and went, "Oh, hell. Where is Cloud during the first two Hollow Bastion visits? That's no good." (You would not believe how many times I watch cutscenes that will only be visited in ten to twenty chapters and start my thinking process with "Oh hell . . .") So I planned on sending him back to Midgar and then he runs off, so that's why Tifa's chasing after him when Sora meets her. Then I realized he has the AC sleeve and outfit, went, "Fine, then, I'll tie in Advent Children, give the boy the stigma, and then he and Riku can both be in bad effing places. So there." Then I decided while playing FFVII that I really liked this Zack guy no matter what fanfic authors had done to him, and I wanted to write him. Took a shower, and as I was thinking about what to write with Zack cackled evilly to myself and mentally plotted Chapter 56. Poor Cloud. I do hope I keep the AC crossover in good taste. I've noticed a significant fear/disappointment/worry/whatever you want to call it over this tie-in. I promise I'm doing my very best.

* * *

**_Step Fifty-Eight: Reconciliation_**

Cloud didn't cry. He brooded. He beat himself up with degrading words so often it was a wonder he could still look in a mirror. He worried about things happening that he couldn't control, change, or fix, and that really scared him despite how often these things seemed to happen (Riku, Zack, Leon, Denzel, Sephiroth, and Geostigma to start). Cloud hardly smiled, and when he did it was a rare sight to see. Since Riku that had been brought out a lot more, but the fact remained that Cloud was frequently miserable. That didn't mean that he cried.

Too many big things had just happened, he supposed—things so big that Cloud didn't know how else to get out the conflicting emotions. A person could only take so much, even if they brooded about it. These things weren't even just big. Colossal was probably a better and more accurate word. Monumental. Life-altering. There were probably more words, but Cloud wasn't in a position to be listing synonyms for how very epic everything was in his life right now.

Let's really put things into perspective. His current boyfriend spent the first few months of their relationship under the bidding of the chief villainess in the Kingdom Hearts charade, thus pitting him against his once-best friend, the legendary Keyblade master. Ironically, his current boyfriend was also a Keyblade master, hence why he was tapped by the bad guys in the first place. Said current boyfriend destroyed his home world, estranged the people closest to him, and fell into the realm of darkness after being possessed by the real villain no one knew was there, except maybe the aforementioned chief villainess, but rumor was that she was dead these days. The legendary Keyblade master took care of that.

So after his current boyfriend fell in the realm of darkness, Cloud was left with nothing but hope that he would come back. When he did, everything was very normal, but then current boyfriend had to go off and help that estranged best friend. Now he looked like the bad guy, was walking in the darkness again to help the legendary Keyblade Master, and did not want to talk about this at all. Current boyfriend was very insecure these days.

Meanwhile, Cloud reformed his friendship with his own estranged once-best friend. Everything was going very well until he accused said best friend of trying to steal current boyfriend. Best friend was insulted as best friend and current boyfriend are just friends, and Cloud was the one who initially insisted to them both that they'd get along famously. When they did, Cloud discovered he felt threatened by best friend. Best friend was very mood these days.

While all of that was going on, the Lifestream on Gaea was chucking out dead persons. Of course out of all the people it was chucking out, his ex-boyfriend had to be one of them. Cloud's ex-boyfriend that it took him until current boyfriend to get over. The one current boyfriend felt threatened by despite his death. The same ex-boyfriend that was once part of a tight-knit group that also included Cloud and his formerly estranged best friend. It also happened that ex-boyfriend was not over Cloud as he'd been dead, did not remember being dead, and was under the impression that Cloud and he should still be together. Ex-boyfriend was very behind on current events these days.

Cloud may not have been the most intelligent person, the quickest person, or even all that sensible, but he wasn't a complete idiot. Riku was going to convulse when he heard the news. Zack was hurt that he'd been replaced. Cloud thought his own feelings were being ignored, but then he thought that it was awfully selfish of him to be thinking about himself. Zack was probably really worried when he couldn't find Cloud, having no idea he was the one dead—dead for a few years now. Zack was still in love with him, had no time to move on, and Cloud couldn't imagine ever having to know the person who was supposed to love you forever had picked up and really gotten over it. Riku was working so hard to set things right in his life, and that started with Sora, which was where the looking like Ansem thing came in. Cloud was supposed to be Riku's stability, and now with the way he was freaking out over Zack, Riku was sure to get the wrong idea. He'd feel threatened. Zack wasn't supposed to be an issue as he was dead, but now he was not dead, and it wasn't Riku's fault that Zack had mastered the previously impossible act of resurrection. Therefore, he shouldn't have to become even more insecure because of it. Riku shouldn't have to worry about the future of his relationship with Cloud, but Zack felt cheated, and . . . It was just no wonder that Cloud broke.

It was this in far less words and a less poetic, coherent quality (but still the basic concept) that Cloud managed to wail through the phone before he ever let estranged best friend Leon get a word in edgewise.

"I don't know what to do . . . I don't know . . . Tell me what to do."

The tears were still there, but the sobs subsided. Cloud coughed a little and rubbed at his eyes and cheeks. He was not crying no matter what the tears implied. He had to pull it together. Cloud just didn't do this. He didn't freak out. He didn't plead for direction. He bottled things up and suffered inside. This was not how Cloud worked.

On the other end, Leon cleared his throat.

"Could you repeat that?"

"What? You've got to be kidding me!"

"I'm sorry. You lost me back when you started speaking about Zack in the present tense. Zack is dead."

"Yeah, that's what you think. The Lifestream chucked him out, and now he's alive again. He said he was going to try and take me back. He can't take me back. Someone's already taken me."

"Okay. Why don't you start over from the beginning, because now I'm more lost than I was before? This time slower. And in English." Cloud huffed. Leon sighed. "I can't help if I don't understand, and all I understand right now is that you're really upset about something involving Zack, Sephiroth, and Denzel's dying."

"The Lifestream killed all the Heartless on its own. It started chucking out dead people, one of which is Zack so he's alive again. It just happened two months ago. He's living with Tifa. The people of Gaea are infected with a fatal disease called Geostigma that comes from the immune system fighting off Jenova cells, which probably also has to do with the pissed off Lifestream. Denzel has it. Ah, yeah, and Zack is alive again. Did I mention that part?"

"Yes, you mentioned that part. Cloud . . . I don't know, okay? That's . . . that's really messed up."

"You're damn right it's messed up! He doesn't remember being dead! He wants to date me again, because he doesn't remember us not being together! He's hurt about Riku, Riku's going to flip out, and I don't know what to do!"

Cloud's voice hitched at the end of his outburst. His voice went high and panicked again, the former composure he found lost once again. Leon sighed.

"I don't know what to tell you. Zack . . . You just need to follow your heart."

"Riku! I want Riku!"

"Okay, okay. Calm down."

"Do you know how long it took me to move on from Zack?"

"Yes, Cloud."

"I can't go back to that! How many times have I said Riku is better than Zack ever was?"

"I know."

"But Riku's going to freak out! And Zack's feelings are hurt because he's back where I was when he died! I don't want to do that to him! I don't . . . I can't do this. I just can't. I'm freaking out over here."

"I can tell."

"Leon, what am I supposed to do?"

Leon sighed.

"Deal with it? Make things clear with Zack. It can't be easy on him coming back from the dead to find that you're with someone else now."

"I know that! Do you think I don't know that? Of course I know that! I just don't know what I'm supposed to do about it! He looks so hurt, and I just feel . . ."

"It doesn't matter. You can't please everyone all of the time. You can't just make everything okay for everyone. Zack died. You moved on. Now he's back, and he'll move on eventually. He just has to go through all that pain you already experienced."

"I said I'd love him forever."

"And you will, but that doesn't mean you have to be together. Even if you were seriously committed, that's where the whole 'Until death do we part' clause comes in. Zack _died_. You had every right to move on. You moved on to Riku, and now he's the great love of your life. Good for you. Zack will get over this, too."

"But Riku . . ."

"As long as you're honest and upfront with him, Riku will be fine. He might be insecure at first, but I think it's his turn after what you pulled at Christmas."

Cloud grunted.

"I didn't pull anything."

"Don't give me that crap. If Riku thinks he has reasonable cause to be threatened by your first love, I can't blame him. Just give him time. He'll come around when he sees there's nothing to be worried about. Have you talked to him yet?"

"No."

"I'd start there."

"The timing has to be perfect."

"The sooner you tell him the better. Timing isn't what everyone makes it out to be."

"Timing is everything. Timing is the difference between Riku getting insecure off and Riku walking out on me forever."

"Then time it however you want, just don't wait forever. There is no perfect time for things like this. There's just good common sense not to tell him when he's already down or had a particularly bad day."

"He took my sword."

"What?"

"Zack. He took back the Buster sword 'cause it was his first. I have no sword."

"You are just a very large child, aren't you?"

"It's not fair! He just comes back from the dead, and I hate being here in the first place . . . I'm here because of Sephiroth! I have to fight Sephiroth! Remember what happened the last time I had to fight Sephiroth distracted? I lost. I mean, I won, but . . . oh, you know what I mean."

"Yes, I remember."

"What am I supposed to do? Tell me what to do."

Leon huffed.

"You know what you should do? Where are you?"

"In Edge . . ."

"What the hell is Edge?"

"It's a new town right outside of Midgar. That's where Tifa lives. In Edge. Because Midgar is diseased."

"More than before?"

"Believe it or not . . ."

"All right. Listen to me, okay? I want you to go back to your Gummi ship and stay there. Don't go anywhere. Just calm down. Take a nap or something. I'm sure you're tired. I'll call you when I'm done here with Cid and we'll talk about this once I've sorted everything in my head out."

"You're seriously not going to tell me to just be a man and deal with it?"

"Ordinarily I would, but we're talking about Zack, Gaea, and Sephiroth all at once."

"There's this trio of guys—Kadaj and his gang—that are causing a lot of problems around Gaea, talking about their mother. Zack and Tifa think they have something to do with Sephiroth, the Jenova experiment, and a Jenova Reunion. They reckon that's why Rufus Shinra wanted Reno to contact me. Take care of this mess for Shinra."

"And Zack's back from the dead on top of just that."

"Yes."

"And you have no weapon."

"Right."

"That settles things even more. Go back to your Gummi. I'll be in contact when I'm done here at Merlin's."

"But . . ."

"You wanted me to tell you what to do. I'm telling you. You have to get yourself together before you see Zack again or it's just going to get worse."

". . . Okay. Thanks. This is really . . . good . . . of you. I appreciate it."

"Whatever. Just do what I say."

"Okay."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Okay."

The connection broke off. The tears stopped by now, and Cloud was left sitting in an alleyway somewhere near Tifa's. Leon said to go back to his Gummi, and Cloud was going to do just that, but not until he managed something else first. Something entirely different that was owed to him after everything Tifa and Zack just put him through. If he couldn't have the Buster sword, the least he could do was obtain Fenrir. Tifa did say it was fixed up and waiting for him, anyway. What did it matter if he just snuck off with it instead of letting her know first?

Cloud knew full well that Tifa was going to ream him out when she saw him again. He just barged out of the house angry without giving any indication of his destination. He just discovered Zack was back from the dead, was unarmed, and she reckoned Sephiroth was out there somewhere. She was bound to panic when she noticed Fenrir was missing, imagining Cloud riding around in the unreasonable state he was in.

Served her right, though. The panic. He was being kind, really, by not doing something really stupid. He was just going back to his Gummi for some long-needed rest. Sephiroth or Kadaj's gang wasn't about to saunter into Cloud's Gummi while he was sleeping and unarmed just to kill him. Products of the Jenova experiment were far too theatrical for such an anticlimactic ending.

He almost burst into a fresh batch of tears when he snuck into Tifa's garage and laid eyes upon Fenrir. No one seemed to notice the garage door open. As quietly as possible, he mounted the bike. No key. Cloud glanced around the garage interior, and there it was on a simple key ring hanging on a nail by a door that led back into the bar. He snatched it from the hook, walked back to his bike, and climbed on. Cloud turned the key, revved the engine, and tore into the streets of Edge.

One of those rare smiles crossed his face when he heard Zack shout something that sounded like, "Cloud's making off with the bike!" behind him.

-----0-----

Cloud was suffering. It was one of those instances where he was desperately tired—exhausted mentally and physically—but it's been too long. He stayed up past that point, and instead of napping, he suffered from insomnia. Cloud would call Leon back, but he knew his best friend better than to attempt that. If he was at Merlin's with Cid, something had gone horribly wrong with the restoration again. Cloud wasn't about to get in the middle of that.

He settled for staring restlessly at the ceiling of the Gummi as he tried to stretch out on the tiny, pull-out bed. Cid really needed to reconsider the sleeping accommodations in the Highwind model. This bed was hardly big enough for his body to fit, and from the way Cloud heard it, he was short.

Cloud was usually happy to sleep and at great length whether Leon liked it or not. Insomnia was not something he handled very well. He really could use a nap. His brain felt fried, overexerted by the Zack Chucked from the Lifestream Incident. It got worse when he imagined every scenario possible for when Riku found out. This was horrible. He needed to sleep.

Riku was a bit of an insomniac. Cloud sighed.

He really missed Riku. The old Riku. He wanted to hear his voice, see his face . . . that smile that just made everything okay even if it was just for a second. Riku used to give him hope, and now Riku was hopeful for Sora, but when it came to himself Riku saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing was sacred anymore. Even Zack's memory . . .

Cloud almost laughed. Zack had desecrated his own memory. What a ridiculous thought. Well, if anyone could manage to ruin their own memory it would be Zack. He was just absolutely fucking perfect like that. Good at everything he did, and now every good feeling Cloud had about what happened back when Zack died was just obliterated. His peace of mind that he worked so hard to obtain these past years felt pointless and wasted.

Cloud took a deep breath. Leon said to calm down and take a nap. He was just restless, bored, and trying to entertain himself until he passed out from sleep-deprivation. That was probably all this crappy attitude was about. He was cranky. He was like a tired, cranky little kid that missed their naptime and now he was taking it out on everyone. He wasn't even mad at Zack, and Cloud thought that maybe he was happy that Zack was back, but he felt guilty for moving on. Doubtless it would've gone better back at the house if he'd been in a better mood. He didn't need the Buster sword. There were plenty of weapon shops around here, and one of them was bound to have a better weapon.

Riku would get over it. Leon had to be right about that. All Cloud had to do was be careful until it was a good time and then he'd tell him everything. Riku might freak out at first, but he would calm down, and once no threat presented itself, everything would be back to almost normal. Nothing save the Ansem look-a-like fiasco would be in their way.

Except for Sephiroth, but Cloud could do that. He just had to find his light. He had to do it for Riku.

As his mind calmed, his body caved to its needs. Cloud practically passed out, not even aware that sleep was coming until it claimed him.

-----0-----

Cloud's much deserved and well-needed rest was interrupted four and a half hours later by his ringing cell phone. It was Riku.

Cloud skirted the issue. He knew it was definitely the wrong time to tell him from the way Riku went off about Reno calling him, and Reno was just some insignificant person from the past that Cloud often forgot he once dated. Lucky for him Riku simply assumed that he'd called Leon (since Cloud had initially assumed the call being the promised one from Leon) because that's what best friends do and didn't question it. Cloud would've have hated explaining that yes, he had to call Leon before his brain exploded, cried like a little girl, and didn't know what to do about these guilty feelings for getting over Zack. He got an ass-reaming anyway, though, for coming back to Gaea during a Jenova debacle, which Cloud thought was kind of ridiculous. He had to finish Sephiroth, didn't he?

It was okay, though, because apparently Riku was just freaking out on everyone these days. Cloud found himself calming more as Riku detailed the disaster of a phone conversation he had with Leon the night before. He knew this ordeal wasn't just hard on him, but hearing Riku in such distress (even if it wasn't Riku's voice) broke his heart. Riku was weird like that, sparring Cloud to rise to the occasion when his usual response was to recoil for fear of making this worse.

Cloud vowed to himself that he'd talk to Leon about that phone conversation when they spoke again. Riku was upset, Leon was upset, Cloud had pitted them against each other in a way, and he needed to fix this. He could help there at least. Maybe he could help, because Leon was a stubborn son of a bitch, and if it didn't help, at least he could try. It was such a comforting thought that he might be able to do something for Riku that he didn't even dwell on the Ansem thing as he fell back asleep.

It would figure that the most disturbing thing would come the following morning, and it had nothing to do with Riku or Zack. Cloud was more sleep deprived than he thought. After the call with Riku he slept straight through the night. As far as he knew, his phone didn't go off. Cloud would've been irked that Leon brushed him off, but the lack of phone communication probably had something to do with the man shaking his docile form as if trying to wake the dead.

"Cloud, get your ass up!"

Cloud blinked several times before he realized that the long, sable hair and steely grey eyes weren't just his imagination.

"Leon?"

"Yes?"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Picking your ass up. You look like hell."

"No . . . but . . . you said . . . What if Sora wakes up, and you remember him, and . . ."

"Are you happy to see me or not?"

"I'm confused as to why I'm seeing you."

"You sounded like you needed a friend."

Cloud blinked, trying to clear the haze from his post-comatose state.

"Oh. I . . . What about the restoration?"

"I talked to Cid. He's got it under control."

"How did you . . . you've never been here. How the hell did you find me?"

"Yuffie told me how to get here. Midgar isn't hard to miss from afar, so I just flew around until I saw your ship."

"Where did you get a Gummi?"

"Cid."

"Ah. Right. So . . . What happens if Sora wakes up and you're not there?"

"I go back, but not until I've got you straightened out."

"You just like playing the hero, don't you?"

"Whatever. Get your ass up. We have things to do, and I don't know my way around here."

"Neither do I. Edge is a new development."

"Then we'll figure it out together. Just get up. I brought food."

"Food?"

"And coffee."

Cloud brightened.

"Coffee?"

"Aerith sent me with sustenance."

"I love her."

"There's a lot to love."

"What time is it?"

Leon pulled his phone from a pocket in his leather jacket and checked the display.

"Almost eleven."

"Wow. I slept a long time."

"Yes, you did. Did you go to bed when I told you to?"

"Kind of. I went to bed after I stole Fenrir."

"After . . . what?"

"Yeah. I stole Fenrir. Well, okay, I didn't really _steal_, because she is mine, but I hijacked her from Tifa's first. Oh, and I woke up for a bit when Riku called. Why didn't you tell me you talked to him?"

"Not a conversation to start at this moment," said Leon. He pulled a large paper bag Cloud hadn't seen until now toward them and dug around inside. "What the hell is Fenrir?"

"My bike."

Leon snorted as he handed a large thermos, an apple, and an opaque container with a plastic fork to Cloud.

"Don't you look kind of ridiculous riding around this place on a bicycle?"

"Fenrir isn't a bicycle. Fenrir is a motorcycle."

Leon was practically in tears in from the laughter Cloud's pout paired with the word motorcycle threw him into.

"I had no idea. I thought I was the leather daddy around here."

"Excuse me?"

"That's just the funniest image I've ever seen. Does Riku know about this motorcycle-loving part of you?"

"Don't laugh at Fenrir. I love that bike."

"I'm sure you do."

"It isn't funny!"

"Yes, it is."

"Oh to hell with you. What do you know, anyway? You are a leather daddy."

"You should get Riku's name tattooed across your chest or something next. Maybe a rose on your left arm. I'll get you a nice leather vest and we can call you Butch."

"You have issues. It's not like that."

"Give it ten years. You can get yourself a nice beer gut and make up for your balding spot with excessive body hair."

"Just because I love my bike? You need counseling."

Leon snorted, a new round of laughter roused.

"You just don't strike me as the motorcycle type. Bikers are supposed to be tough shit. You're hopeless."

"I am not hopeless. I can kill shit. I used to have a sword bigger than my leg."

"Yeah, until your ex-boyfriend stole it back, silly homo."

"Now that's just not right. You can't use my sexual preferences against me. Homosexuals can ride motorcycles, too. I can be tough."

"But can you use a hammer?"

"You know what, Leon? I don't want you here. Go back to Hollow Bastion. I can get on just fine on my own."

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do? Drive around Edge on your precious Fenrir, crying to yourself about your formerly dead ex-boyfriend while stressing about how pretty boy Riku's going to take it? Ah, yeah, and you're going to do it unarmed. Right."

"Fuck you."

"Oh come on, Cloud. Laugh. It's funny."

"I am not funny."

"Got that right."

Cloud glared at Leon for several seconds, but his laughter was intoxicating. A muscle in the corner of Cloud's mouth twitched.

"I hate you sometimes."

"I know you missed me. It's okay. I came all the way here from Hollow Bastion just to help you get your head straightened on. I obviously missed you, too. Now let me laugh at your expense a little."

"A little? You're going to give yourself a hernia if you keep it up."

Leon's chuckles started to subside. He wiped at his eyes.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry." Leon patted Cloud's shoulder. "You know I love you."

Cloud quirked an eyebrow.

"Have you lost it?"

"Maybe. Why?"

"You just professed some kind of genuine affection for me. Out loud. Twice. Without a sarcastic punch line."

"You should be more surprised that I came all the way here to help you out."

"I am."

Now that Leon was sobered up, Cloud's brain got a chance to play catch up. He looked at Leon, staring openly, trying to sort out what was going on. It was nice of him to come all this way just because he didn't know what to do and turned to Leon for help. Cloud knew he'd been hard on Leon lately between being no help with the restoration and all the Riku drama. Now he put the Zack drama on him as well, and Leon was insane, coming to Gaea like this when Cloud was bound just to put him through more hell.

Leon was still sore that Cloud left Hollow Bastion all those years ago. He was clearly sore that Cloud had left again. They were both such private, closed-off people that it was a wonder they spoke to each other at all. Yes, Leon could be stoic and detached, afraid to let anyone get close, and sure, they did develop a friendship again, but it had taken ages to get this point, and Cloud thought he shattered the fragile bond they forged again when he started flinging around words about the way Leon looked at Riku. Having Leon here after all that . . .

"I'm glad you're here," said Cloud. "I know I'm a pain in your ass . . ."

"Don't go on about that again, okay? Only one breakdown at a time. We're cool."

Cloud suspected Leon just didn't want to talk about it, but he nodded anyway.

"Good. So tell me about what happened on the phone with Riku. He was vague, and I was half-asleep so I couldn't even read into it very well."

"Later. Finish your breakfast. We have work to do."

"What do you mean by that? What's with you? Is there work everywhere to do? This isn't Hollow Bastion."

Leon snorted.

"No, but we do have to get you a sword. I'm not loaning you the Gunblade no matter how much I love you."

"A sword?"

"How the hell do you expect to finish Sephiroth without a weapon?"

"I . . . I don't. Of course I don't. I know I need a new sword, but . . . you came all this way just to make sure I got a new sword? You really must think I'm completely hopeless."

"I didn't come all this way just to make sure you got a new sword. I came here to mediate."

"Mediate?"

"Yeah. Help you get your head together, continue to remind you what's important, and step between you and Zack if someone goes for the throat. I'm not leaving until I trust you not to murder each other."

It was then that Cloud realized Leon and Zack hadn't seen each other in nine years. Not since the Turks first came to Hollow Bastion. Hell, Zack was still calling Leon Squall, and probably pictured him eleven years old. Leon had enough issues with Zack leaving in the first place, because while Cloud was his best friend, Zack was the one who looked out for them. Zack was the one who picked Leon up as a kid. Zack was the one who taught Leon how to fight. Leon had to be a mess inside over this, too, especially after a fight with Riku.

Cloud didn't know how he and Leon both got caught in the same hell so often. They both suffered in their own ways from Zack's return. Things were hard for them both with Riku right now. How the hell did Cloud get Leon into so much trouble with his boyfriends? When it got really bad, he either turned on Leon or looked to him for support. He couldn't use a hammer . . .

Why would Leon come to Gaea for the first time over this? The typical Leon response would have been to stay as far away as possible and hope that his and Zack's paths never crossed. He avoided Gaea before. Kind of like how he was avoiding talking about his direct communication with Riku, and probably the first time he and Riku actually had an argument.

Right now Cloud truly appreciated Leon's presence in his life.

"Thanks," said Cloud. "You know . . . for coming. You didn't have to."

"I wanted to. You can't take care of yourself, and I'm not going to let you mess up your life some more over a wasteful feeling like guilt."

"I love you, too, you know? You're my best friend. . ."

"Please don't get emotional on me. We need to obtain a sword."

"Okay. I'm just sorry. For being such a pain."

"You aren't a pain. You're predictable. Darkness, boyfriends, and anything related to this world. It's all the same issues with you. You bore me, Cloud. I'm only here because it's everything at one time."

Cloud smiled. He'd let Leon slide this one time. He probably earned the reprieve anyway, but next time Cloud wouldn't hesitate to call him out on his shit. That conversation about his disagreement with Riku seemed like the perfect time, too. Leon was really in for it. After all, considering Aerith and Tifa pried into his life so much, Cloud figured that's what friends were for.

-----0-----

Moogles were the greatest thing ever. Leon glared at him, emptying his pockets of munny (universal currency, it seemed) for the supplies needed to make his new weapon, but First Tsurugi was totally worth it. Buster sword be damned; Zack could have it.

It was a collection of six swords that could be assembled into one, and when done so was just perfect because Cloud had dreaded getting used to fighting with a new weapon. He practically didn't have to when First Tsurugi was completely assembled; it was almost the same size, shape, and weight as the Buster. He even got a harness to carry around all six swords at one time.

After the visit to the Moogles, Leon complained loudly again at having to ride around with Cloud on Fenrir. Since Cloud didn't know anywhere to go in Edge and the Gummi just didn't have enough room to train with all six blades, Cloud directed Fenrir into what was left of the Midgar slums. It appeared people still lived there, and Cloud pointed out places of interest to Leon as they rode until they got to the church in Sector Six.

Cloud loved coming to this church. It reminded him of Aerith, bringing him a sense of peace and beauty in this chaotic world, and he hoped to bring her here one day. Leon raised an eyebrow when Cloud told him this, but said nothing as they dismounted. Now Leon leaned against a wall, watching with disinterest as Cloud worked out where to store all six pieces of First Tsurugi in compartments on Fenrir.

"I want you to know you look happier than you did on Christmas," said Leon.

"You know what they say about boys and their toys," said Cloud.

"Don't you think six swords are excessive? Are you trying to overcompensate?"

"No. I like all six swords."

"Six is a lot."

"But they're all different."

"No they aren't. There are four different types of swords. You have two sets of twins."

"I've named them, too."

"You're sick."

"This one's Vigilante," said Cloud, holding up the main blade. "It's double-sided, and formidable, and I love it. This one's Vendetta . . ."

Cloud grabbed another part of the First Tsurugi. Leon rolled his eyes.

"Let me guess," said Leon. "It's bent into a 'V,' covers Vigilante when assembled, it's formidable, and you love it."

"How did you know?"

"I was blessed with the sense of sight, and I know you too well."

"Oh. Okay, well this set of twins is Merciless and Avenger . . ."

"Cloud, if you keep telling me the parts of your new sword, I'm going to hack your head off with it."

"Don't you want to know? You did buy it . . ."

"You owe me 5000 munny."

"I know."

"Don't think I'm going to let it go."

"Okay."

"Cloud, don't play games with me."

"Did I tell you Merciless and Avenger have serrated blades, are formidable, and I love them?"

"I'm going to kill you."

"But I love my sword. It's the best present I've ever gotten."

"Well I'm glad you like it considering how much I had to pay for all those materials."

"Did I tell you that these are Ascalon and Sidewinder?"

"Do you have a death wish?"

"Not particularly, but you aren't offering any conversation. We could talk about what happened when you called Riku."

Leon glared.

"At least you're in better spirits. I think I can head back to Hollow Bastion now."

"No, you can't. I'm still distressed about the Zack Chucked from the Lifestream Incident. What if we kill each other and Riku comes to you, distressed? Do you want that on your conscience? What would you tell him, Leon? I want you to think about that."

"I think I did do my job. You're almost giddy."

"I really like this sword, and I have Fenrir. Doesn't mean that I won't lose my fucking mind once I see Zack again. I still don't know what to do."

"You have more emotions right now that any person should."

"Yeah, Spiky can get like that."

With the interruption of a new voice into the groove of their regularly scheduled program of banter, Cloud and Leon fell silent. Leon turned to face the church entrance as Cloud's attention, too, shot in that direction. Leon frowned. Zack leaned against what was left of the doorframe and raised an eyebrow.

"I thought I might find you here."

* * *

**_I cannot explain why my Hollow Bastion crew is always on crack._**

**_Thanks for reading. I'll respond to the last chapter and this one next time I update because I just don't have the time right now. Gotta move in six or so minutes, so yeah..._**

**_Hope you enjoy. I liked it at any rate._**

**_Thanks for reading/reviewing/reccing this story to every one of you. Pick the word(s) that best apply to you._**

**_Love and appreciation,_**

**_-D_**


	59. Of What's Fair and What's Important

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **059. Fun

**Word Count**: 5,072

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku couldn't help but feel bad for Roxas. It was all so unfair.

**Disclaimer**: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I'm sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let's face it: I don't even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there's no proof of, because I'm deluded like that.

* * *

**_Step Fifty-Nine: Of What's Fair and What's Important_**

DiZ stared at the computer monitors long after Roxas returned home for the night. He searched the screens as if trying to find the missing piece to a calculated formula. Riku stood behind him, staring at the monitors but not really seeing, unsure of what to do. Should he wait to be dismissed? He assumed that if DiZ didn't want him there, he would have been sent away by now. Should he say something? Offer any assistance he could provide, or was he supposed to just stand there as he was, waiting for DiZ to find whatever he searched for?

Adrenaline rushed through his veins, mingled with disappointment and shame over the Dusks' appearance in the alternate Twilight Town. Riku felt so stupid having not noticed something was very wrong before it was too late. He was too preoccupied, slinging around insults at the Twilight Town inhabitants and brooding on his own mistakes that he went and made another. Since he was young, people always made off-hand comments about Riku's tendency to get so wrapped up in himself that he never noticed anything else. These statements always stung, but this must have been what they meant. He did it with his family, Sora, Leon, Cloud, and now he was doing it to Roxas, and by extension, Sora again. Poor Sora always got hurt the most by Riku's self-preoccupation. He was even doing it right now. Riku shook his head.

It felt like every other second that Riku demanded himself to pull it together. He was a fucking mess, falling apart every time something went wrong. His head and thoughts were scattered; this was no good. He couldn't be like this. He needed to be more removed and less emotional. He needed to do anything that would keep his fucking head together before he wasn't any good to anyone.

Riku tried to focus his eyes on the monitor, roaming over the screen for something—anything—that might be of use. Roxas was just fine, eating dinner, troubled by thoughts of the memory thief and the strange weapon, but there was no threat. Hayner, Pence, and Olette were just the same as always, troubled by nothing other than perhaps how strange Roxas had been today. Seifer was threatening some kid in the Sandlot for breaching on his territory. On the clock tower . . .

Wait. On the clock tower? Riku peered closer.

"DiZ, who's that?"

Riku pointed to a spot on the largest monitor. DiZ followed his outstretched hand and stared. As they continued to watch, a group of Dusks flew in their strange, disjointed way to the top, more stolen photographs in their grasp. The man there took the pictures and turned them over.

"Photographs?" he said. "Why are the Dusks bringing me photographs?"

"Organization XIII," said DiZ. He banged the keyboard.

It had to be. Couldn't be anyone else if the man was in a league with the Dusks, not to mention the long, black cloak like the one Riku wore now was a dead giveaway. He hardly had time to marvel over the inconspicuousness of an organization that wore such blatant uniforms when the man pushed his hood back to reveal a head of the most blinding, ridiculously tall spiked red hair. Riku blinked. He looked so familiar. Where had he seen him before . . .?

"Axel," said a soft, feminine voice, and Riku turned to see Naminé step up beside him. "He's looking for Roxas."

"I should've known better that to trust the Dusks with this," said the man—Axel. "Oh, man. Xemnas is gonna kill me. Guess I gotta do this on my own. Now then . . . where's the real thing hiding?"

"Who's Xemnas?" said Riku.

"Another member of Organization XIII?" said DiZ.

"He's their leader," said Naminé. "Organization XIII's Superior." Riku glanced at her, frowning. She seemed to feel his hidden eyes on her, however, because Naminé looked up and gave him a soft smile. "I heard his name in Castle Oblivion when I was under Marluxia's control. They were out to take over the Organization, remember?"

Riku did remember, now that she mentioned it, anyway. That was how this started back in Castle Oblivion when Naminé was forced to take apart Sora's memories. That was where Riku had seen Axel before—in Naminé's drawings scattered and hanging around her room. Riku looked back to the screen.

"So this Axel. . ."

"What can you tell us about him, Naminé?" said DiZ

"Sora met him in Castle Oblivion. I don't know why he's looking for Roxas, but if it's on Xemnas's orders, it can't be a good thing. That and . . . he and Roxas were best friends. I think the last thing Axel probably wants is for Sora and Roxas to become whole again."

"He'll have to be stopped," said DiZ.

"Is there anything I can do?" said Riku.

"Keep a close eye on Roxas. Head in tomorrow morning and get a good luck around. Keep the Keyblade by the data machine, and be prepared to head into any entry point at a moment's notice. I'll keep watch tonight. Naminé, you must work as quickly as possible."

Naminé nodded. Her hand briefly touched Riku's forearm and she headed back to the room where Sora slept.

"What should I do right now?" said Riku.

DiZ sighed.

"Rest. I fear tomorrow will be another busy one. I need you alert."

Riku nodded. He spared one last glance to the monitor and watched as Axel disappeared from the system. A knot formed in the pit of his stomach. Riku doubted that sleep would come tonight, but even if he just lay staring at the ceiling, at least he was resting. That was all DiZ requested.

Riku turned and left the computer room.

-----0-----

Riku awoke, eyes still puffy and probably bloodshot, not the he'd look into a mirror to see if it was true. Riku avoided mirrors at all costs, and he really didn't need one to know how terrible he looked, Ansem thing aside. He had fallen asleep, but only after staring blankly at the ceiling for hours, questions about Roxas and the Dusks running through his head. Then there was Axel, the member of Organization XIII he had to try and track down today. He had to infiltrate the system, keep an eye on Roxas and protect him . . . or something. When sleep did force itself upon his busy head, it was already late into the night, and Riku couldn't have gotten more than three hours of rest.

He dressed silently, leaving his phone behind in the bedroom. He couldn't afford any distractions today, especially not any selfish distractions regarding his strained relationships with his boyfriend and Leon. Roxas was in trouble; Riku needed to help him.

When he left the room, he was surprised to see Naminé standing at the door on the balcony that lead to the library and down into the computer room.

"Good morning, Riku," she said, and offered a small smile. "How did you sleep?"

"Badly. Thought about Roxas, Axel, and the Dusks all night."

"It'll be all right. DiZ anticipated this."

"I know he did. That's why I had to keep watching the monitors, but I hoped . . ."

"No. I think he knew Organization XIII would find us. That's why he had photographs scattered all across the town. It's not like Roxas has been there long enough for them to actually be taken, but he specifically insisted there be photos of Roxas everywhere. I thought it was just to help integrate him, but now . . ."

Riku sighed and dropped his head. He wished DiZ would clue him into these things instead of leaving him in the dark. Yesterday could've gone so much better . . .

"Both are nothing but data to the Dusks," he said, echoing DiZ's statement. "They'll never be able to tell the difference."

"Right. So a member of Organization XIII would have to physically obtain Roxas, which is harder for them. We're more likely to pick up on Axel's presence than the Dusks. He's a stronger, more powerful Nobody. Like me. Like Roxas. Just short of being a whole person. It's harder to hide."

"You've got a lot of work to do today, I guess."

Naminé nodded.

"DiZ is already downstairs keeping an eye out in case Roxas wakes up before you get down there. He's got breakfast with him. I'm going to see Sora."

"Okay. Well . . ."

"If you need anything at all, just call on me, okay? Riku?"

It seemed like she purposefully said his name more than she needed to. Riku didn't know why—maybe to keep reminding him who he was. Sometimes he almost forgot what happened to his appearance when she was around—so pure and sweet, always offering gentle touches to his arm and soft kisses to his cheek. Whenever he was ready to just throw the identity of Riku away, break up with Cloud, and settle that he was now Ansem, Naminé called him by his true name. She reminded him that it was his heart that mattered, and in his heart he would never stop being Riku.

It was both a wonderful and terrible thought.

"I will. Thanks."

"We better go down. Axel's trouble." She laughed a little and shook her head. "He's really not so bad, but . . . He's feisty. Let's just put it that way."

Riku didn't know whether to smile or frown at the way she spoke of him. It was almost fond, and now Riku was unsure of how he should deal with Axel if their paths cross. Naminé was an excellent judge of character, and if she thought Axel wasn't so bad . . . but he was a member of Organization XIII. He was just a Nobody, not supposed to exist, but Naminé was a Nobody too, and she was wonderful.

Riku really hated this Nobody business. It was so confusing.

Naminé and Riku parted ways when they reached the computer room. DiZ was already at the computer, typing into the system, and he jerked his head toward the data machine.

"Eat now and go, or go now and eat when you return," said DiZ.

"What? No 'good morning'?" said Riku.

"Roxas is still asleep. You'll want to get a start before he's up and moving around."

Riku glanced over DiZ's shoulder to the monitor and there Roxas was, still fast asleep, dreaming of Sora and his adventures through the worlds with the Keyblade. He looked away quickly as the pain of Sora sleeping in that pod, not even a memory to those he loved too strong to bear this second. Roxas wouldn't be allowed to exist anymore to set Sora right, and this was just . . . the worlds were so unfair.

"I'll eat later."

Riku stepped into the data machine and waited to be transported to the alternate Twilight Town.

He started in the Sunset Residential District and took a train back into the station. He walked through Twilight Town, the woods, and even the alternate mansion but there was no sign of Axel or the Dusks anywhere. Riku made it into the back alley and was about to head into the Sandlot when he heard footsteps and stopped.

"A Keyblade . . ."

Roxas. Riku stilled, hardly breathing as Roxas walked into view. He turned to see Roxas pick up a stick leaning against one of the buildings and brandish it about like he had done with the Kingdom Key just yesterday. So he was awake, and his thoughts still lingered on the strange events the day before. Not a surprise—he was Sora, and even if he weren't, it wasn't just a normal thing for a weapon that looked like a key to appear out of nowhere in your hands while you fight off strange, non-human creatures in white jumpsuits that call you their liege.

"What was that about?" said Roxas.

Still in his reverie, Riku broke from it as the stick flew across the open space. It smacked against his chest and hit the ground. Roxas turned.

Riku almost panicked for a second as Roxas faced him. He knew his face was hidden, and even if wasn't, he didn't look like himself. Roxas didn't even remember being a member of the Organization so there was no way he could recognize him, but for a half-second Riku was sure he would know. He'd blame Riku for what was happening to him, claim he wasn't Sora, and pull out both Oblivion and Oathkeeper before sending Riku to an early death. There was no recognition in Roxas's eyes, though (of course there wasn't).

Riku turned and headed toward the Sandlot before any recognition could happen. From behind, Roxas's voice sounded again.

"Oh! Sorry . . . about that . . ."

Riku stood halfway down the stairs toward the Sandlot as Roxas's footsteps faded away. He turned, walked back up, and grabbed the stick, smacking it against his own palm as Roxas had just done. He slid it into his pocket.

"No," said Riku. "I'm the one who owes you the apology."

There was no sign of Axel or the Dusks in the Sandlot, either, so Riku returned to the alternate Twilight Town mansion and waited for DiZ to transport him back to the real world. It took all of thirty seconds.

"Well?" said DiZ as Riku stepped from the data machine.

"No sign of Axel anywhere. I ran into Roxas."

"I saw."

"So what's going on?"

"Roxas and his friends are eating sea-salt ice cream and having a sentimental moment about always being together."

Riku's heart dropped. He, Sora, and Kairi used to have talks like, and now look at them. They were completely separated by not just the worlds, but by light and darkness, too. Roxas would never get the chance, either. His friends weren't the real Hayner, Pence, and Olette. What were they doing to this poor kid's psyche? Riku walked closer to the screen.

"Man, today's turning out to be a drag," said Hayner, eating his ice cream.

"Maybe because of yesterday's memory thief," said Olette.

"Maybe it's the ice cream for breakfast," said Riku.

Okay, so he couldn't resist. DiZ snorted, but said nothing. Riku was shocked; he had no idea DiZ was capable of anything but malevolent.

"Nuh-uh. You know what it is? We don't want summer vacation to be over. That's all!"

"This kid speaks like a heathen," said Riku.

"So, how about this?" Hayner jumped from his seat and stood tall as if intent to look very important. "We all go to the beach! And why do we go to the beach? Because we haven't gone once this entire vacation! Blue seas! Blue skies! Let's just get on the train and go!"

"There is no beach," said Riku.

"The beach?" said DiZ. "Absolutely not."

Roxas, Pence, and Olette stood, but said nothing.

"No?" said Hayner. "Aw, c'mon!"

"Maybe you forgot, but we're broke," said Roxas.

"Well at least one of you has some sense," said Riku.

"Maybe you forgot, but I'm smart!" said Hayner.

"Up for interpretation . . ."

"There is no way we can allow them to go to the beach," said DiZ. "Especially not with that meddlesome redhead yesterday. They must not be allowed to leave town. Expanding the area will only give the enemy another access point. I trust you to take care of this."

Riku sighed and nodded.

"Okay."

"And remember . . . Roxas was not supposed to exist. Don't let yourself get too attached to it. It will do no good to lose sight of your objective."

Riku stared for a few seconds. It? Roxas was an it now? What the hell was Naminé, then? He tried to control the anger exploding through his chest, but . . . Riku took a breath. He understood, of course. There was no other way for Sora. Roxas was supposed to exist with Sora as a whole, not as a separate entity, and becoming fond of Roxas as he was didn't do Sora any good. DiZ was right. He was a complete jackass, but he was right.

Riku nodded.

"How are they going to get to the beach without any munny, though? We might not have to worry about it."

DiZ motioned to the monitor. Riku peered at it. Hayner was carrying a large stack of Struggle fliers.

"He's encouraged the others to take odd jobs around the town to make the munny. Go back into town. Take your breakfast if you like. Keep an eye on the station."

Riku nodded. He grabbed the paper bag from the floor by DiZ that Riku was sure by now would contain a piece of fruit, a breakfast sandwich, and a juice box. One thermos of coffee remained that Riku was sure belonged to him. He stepped into the data machine, ready to head back into the alternate Twilight Town.

Once through the alternate mansion and the woods, Riku finally found Roxas and Hayner in the Tram Common area pasting up posters for the Struggle. Pence and Olette were probably off somewhere else trying to earn money for the beach, but they didn't really matter. Roxas was the one Riku had to keep an eye one. They would never attempt to leave without him, anyway.

He picked an inconspicuous place high above where the boys worked and watched.

"We'll meet up with Pence and Olette at the station in about an hour, then," said Hayner.

"Do you think we'll have enough munny?" said Roxas.

"We should. We're getting a great fee for this thanks to you. I had no idea there were so many places to put posters."

Riku suppressed the urge to call Hayner an idiot. He might not be able to hear him through a computer, but only several yards away just wasn't safe enough.

"We're gonna clean up at the Struggle," said Hayner. "You and me. One of us has to walk out of there the champ!"

They talked about the Struggle at great length. At one point, an old man came up to them looking for someone to clear away some old junk for munny, and Hayner went off with him leaving Roxas and the posters to each other. This was really not good. All this to make munny for a beach that didn't exist and DiZ refused to make. It just wasn't right.

Riku couldn't really blame Hayner. The memories were so fresh of Destiny Islands even if they felt like ages ago, occurring in a different lifetime. The end of summer vacation was a horrible, depressing time for Kairi, Sora, and him. Sometimes they hung by the paopu or in the Secret Place as summer vacation drew to a close. They talked about the upcoming school year—teachers they hoped not to have and activities they wanted to join. Sora complained about having to finish homework and usually ended up copying from Riku's schoolwork completed the previous year. Sora always said it was his favorite thing about Riku being a grade ahead. He almost never had to come up with school papers on his own.

What were the Twilight Town beaches like? Were they like Destiny Islands with its harsh, burning sunlight and paopu trees? Was the sand the same, yellow, granular stuff that Riku has slipped his feet into his entire life? Did the waves sound the same, splashing against the shoreline? Did the air taste as warm and sweet? Was the smell as light and salty? Did the sound of laughter and excitement reach ever crevice like it did on Destiny Islands where even in the middle of the night, it was never really dark?

Destiny Islands was always so warm, even in the dead of winter . . .

Could the sun over Twilight Town's beach give his skin the same sun-kissed glow he'd had since he was born? Riku had spent so much time in the cold and the darkness lately that the color in his skin from the Destiny Islands sun was almost gone before he changed into Ansem.

To Hayner, Roxas, Pence, and Olette a day at the beach was fun. To Riku, the beach was home, and right now . . .

He hadn't felt really, truly homesick in ages. At Christmas and on his birthday, he really just missed his family and friends. He missed his normal life that up until the Heartless was so typical that he felt suffocated. Only now did he realize how much he wanted that comfort and safety again. He couldn't even express the joy he'd feel at tomorrow being just as mundane and typical as today. If only he could look in a mirror again and see himself or go to school. He wanted to see Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie. He wanted to sit on the paopu.

The last time Riku missed Destiny Islands was in Castle Oblivion in that card world of his home, but even that wasn't right. It wasn't home, and now thinking about the beach, the ocean air . . .

This was supposed to end. Cloud promised it would, and then he would find a way for Sora and he to go home. Cloud even said he would visit if Sephiroth wasn't finished, but Cloud was on Gaea now, looking for Sephiroth. Maybe they really could move in together for real one day, have their own house, and Cloud could meet his parents, his sister . . . Ayumi was sure to hate him at first. She'd be super-protective and untrusting of the man seven years his senior that kept him from living at home again, but she'd get over it once she saw how happy it made him. His parents, too. Then he could take Cloud to the play island—show him the Secret Place and his paopu tree. Maybe they could even go swimming in the ocean.

Riku almost laughed. He got the distinct impression that even if Cloud thought he had visited beaches before, he was going to be in shock. From what Cloud once told him about Costa del Sol it wasn't even close to Destiny Islands. Riku just had to try and teach Cloud how to surf, if only for the entertainment value it would provide. Maybe Leon could visit, too, and then he, Cloud, Leon, and Sora could all do something together. It could be really great.

A sick feeling settled in his stomach as he watched Roxas work so diligently to put up those posters. He was genuinely sorry that he couldn't allow him this one reprieve. It was probably for the best. Still, Riku wished Roxas could go, and maybe Riku could tag along. Feel the sand between his toes and the wind across his face again.

Riku dropped his chin into his hands and focused on eating his lunch. He never thought he would, but God, he wanted to go home . . .

-----0-----

Almost an hour later, Riku followed Roxas in the direction of the train station, careful to keep a good distance between them. He wasn't quite sure how to do this, but DiZ was guaranteed to be watching and would do everything to make things as simple as possible. Roxas joined Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and they gathered at station plaza as the train to the beach pulled in. Riku hung back toward Market Street and waited for an opportunity to retrieve the munny.

"All present and accounted for?" said Hayner.

"There are only four of you," muttered Riku. "Can't be too hard to figure out."

"What've we got?" said Pence.

"A terminal case of stupid?" Riku suggested.

"Let's see . . ." said Roxas, pulling the munny from his pocket. "Just this."

"Good job," said Hayner.

Olette moved to count the munny and she dropped it in a small pouch.

"Great work, everyone. Added to what we started with, we now have . . . Tada!" said Olette. She held out the pouch. "5000 Munny!"

"Sweet!" said Pence.

Olette handed the bag to Roxas. Riku stepped forward; this was his chance.

"Let's get tickets," said Olette.

She and Pence ran ahead to the station, but Hayner held Roxas back. Riku stilled, waiting.

"We can't be together forever . . . so we'd better make the time we do have something to remember," said Hayner.

The gigantic, colossal meaning of what Hayner didn't know he was really saying almost made Riku like him for a second. He knew these were just data copies, but the inhabitants of the fake Twilight Town were created from the hearts of their real counterparts. He wondered if they would really miss Roxas—the real versions of Hayner, Pence, and Olette—without having ever known him. What about Roxas? Did he even feel Sora, or was he just dreaming about him? Was this all really going to be okay?

Riku sighed and shook his head as if trying to clear it. He couldn't lose focus. Riku wasn't even supposed to like Roxas. He definitely wasn't supposed to feel more sympathy every day for him.

"Huh?" said Roxas.

"Gotcha!" said Hayner.

It was all just fun and games with this kid, wasn't it? Riku used to be that way, too . . . Hayner playfully punched Roxas in the stomach, turned, and ran up the stairs to join Pence and Olette. Riku stepped forward. It was time.

He couldn't just run up to Roxas. He patted his sides, fingers nervously twitching at his pockets as Riku tried to think fast, and then his fingers closed over that stick from this morning. Yes . . . He snatched it from his pocket and whipped it lightning-fast (thank you, powers of darkness) toward Roxas's feet. It snagged him between steps, flew beyond, and Roxas tripped, landing flat on his face. Hayner, Pence, and Olette turned back, and then they froze.

Riku didn't even have to question it, just simply understood that DiZ wanted him in and out of there before he could be seen. He moved forward fast. Roxas groaned, pulling up to his knees, still slightly blinded by the hard hit his face made with the pavement. Riku grabbed him before he came to his senses and yanked him to his feet.

"Huh?" said Roxas.

"Do you feel Sora?" he asked, snaking his hand into Roxas's pocket. It closed around the munny pouch.

"What?" said Roxas.

DiZ was going to kill him, warned him not to get attached, and here he was, trying to get Roxas to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. Roxas was bound to notice his frozen friends. Riku was screwing this all up, but maybe . . . maybe it would get Roxas thinking about Sora more instead of just in his dreams. He _was_ dreaming about Sora, wasn't he?

He didn't get a chance for an answer. The next thing he knew, he was standing in the computer room. On the monitors, Hayner, Pence, Olette, and Roxas just discovered the missing munny.

"That was reckless," said DiZ.

"I just . . ."

"Keep your objectives in sight."

"My objective _is_ Sora. He's already dreaming of him . . ."

"Now Roxas is going to be contemplating Sora because of that little scene. We cannot clue him into what is going on. The memories can't come back." DiZ made a sound that could have been a sigh except DiZ was someone Riku was sure never did anything remotely like sighing. "Naminé, hurry."

Riku tossed the munny pouch into the air and caught it. He tried to keep his voice casual; this irritation with DiZ had to go away. They were working together, after all, not against each other.

"Is it really that hard to make a beach?"

"We'd be giving the enemy another entry point."

Yes, Riku got that much so far. He was about to say something about making the last of Roxas's days better ones or that the Organization had already found them, anyway, but he decided it was probably better not to. He tossed the pouch again and caught it. He held it out toward DiZ.

"And this?"

DiZ glanced back.

"We can always buy some sea-salt ice cream." He laughed his creepy, demented, almost malicious laugh again and turned back to the monitors. Riku was not amused. "Objects from that town must be kept out of the real world. You can delete that."

Delete it, huh? Just like that.

"All right."

Riku pocketed it instead.

"What is Organization XIII's status?" said Riku.

"All is quiet. There's no sign of the underlings or their superiors. They're waiting for us to make a move."

"Is there any else I can do today?"

"Actually sleep this time."

Riku huffed.

"Anything else?"

"I will take care of Roxas. Don't concern yourself with that."

Riku walked closer to see Roxas and his friends on the clock tower eating ice cream again. Didn't Olette know it was all going to go to her hips? Roxas was lost in thought, thinking of the incident in the station.

"Who _are_ you, Sora?" ran through Roxas's thoughts. "Ever since I started dreaming about you, all sorts of weird stuff has been happening . . ."

Once again, DiZ was right. He shouldn't have made Roxas think about Sora. What if memories came back? What if he could feel Sora, and memories came back (because Naminé was chaining together Sora's, wasn't she? And Sora's heart strongly resonated with Roxas)? If he remembered anything, anything at all . . . He was a member of Organization XIII, and Axel was his best friend. If that happened, he would never go back to Sora. It wasn't long ago that Riku faced off against a Roxas that remembered everything. It wasn't a pleasant situation.

"I'm sorry . . ." said Riku.

"Go and actually sleep. There's no telling what tomorrow will bring at this point."

He felt like a small child being sent to bed early without dessert. At the very least he was being sent off before dinner. Riku frowned . . .

"What about my supper?"

"Take a nap. I'll have Naminé bring you your meal."

At least DiZ wasn't completely heartless. No pun intended.

* * *

**_I'll admit that I stole Axel's appearance from the manga. It really helped flesh out the ideas._**

**_To my reviewers (Goodness, there's a lot of you): If you reviewed for Chapter 57, I'm afraid I won't get to you as my head just isn't completely with me right now. Probably has something to do with JC Chasez on my iTunes._**

**_For the reviewers of Chapter 58:_**

**Lady Karai**: Thanks so much. I was hesitent about sending Leon to the Midgar because I thought it might be a little weird, but it was too good of a fun opportunity to pass up so I did it. I'm glad someone's confidant about this story. I'm enjoying where it's going and how it's coming out, but I also feel like I'm just flying by the seat of my pants right now without any real destination. It's good to know it's not turning to trash.

**Jediempress**; I thought about what you said regarding the Hollow Bastion crew not surviving if they weren't on crack, and I realized you were right. It's one of those things where things are so bad you can't do anything but laugh, and hence they are insane. So perfect. I'm glad you liked that I brought Leon to Edge, and put him with Cloud on Fenrir. I love the image, too.

**ChibiFrubaGirl**: It's okay you laughed at Cloud's meltdown. I did too. They aren't funny where you're having them, but they usually are in retrospect, and they sure are hysterical to watch. The bigger the meltdown, the funnier it usually is, too.

**krazy-wit-a-k**: Yes, Cloud does have two boyfriends right now. We should all be so lucky to have both Zack and Riku wanting us, but looking at Cloud, you can't really be surprised. He's gorgeous himself.

**LunaLocket**: I really wanted to showcase their friendship in that chapter. The entire story thus far for the Leon and Cloud relationship has been encouraging them to grow and open up as friends. I didn't choose to do this. Leon wrote himself into this story, so I went with it. I think it really turned out for the best.

**Deinde**: Smiles to you, too.

**M. Monster**: Oh, Zack. I really want to make him likable, but this is all coming from Cloud's perspective so he has to be sort of removed at the moment. I really don't know how to write him because I don't know him well enough yet, but I'm sure I'll fall into a groove eventually. At least you like him so far.

**Red Kitsune Flames**: To be honest with you, I didn't. I just kept writing and went "Oh, hey. That belongs in Chapter 60." So 60 is already started because I was on such an effing roll writing 58 I didn't realize that I had reached the end of the chapter. Go figure. Cloud was kind of cute, though, playing with his new toys, wasn't he?

**BloodRedViolet**: I hadn't thought of Zack with the stigma. Cloud is going to get it eventually. Probably chapter 68, I think. Might be 66. I don't remember, but it's in my notes.

**BlackIceNinja**: I love Leon being mine. Makes me feel warm and cozy inside.

**Riku-Rocks**: I really liked the summary of Cloud's end, too. Thought it was actually kind of funny in it's disjoined, recap state. Thank you for the lovely compliments. It's appreciated.

**koyuki-san**: Oh, another person who has presented me with Leon. Fantastic. I will keep him on my bed and cuddle him. Zack will remain in Edge for awhile since he isn't actually in KH2. He will return, though. Riku and Zack will meet. You can bet on that. I look forward to sharing Leon's meeting with Zack with everyone.

**Sassy Aloo**: Oh, I won't go screaming and running in the other direction. I quite enjoy being adored, even if it does make me laugh a little because as much as it seems like I know what I'm doing, I really have no idea. Square Enix has just been wonderful enough to provide me with three games to make a one-hundred chapter story from. It is fun, though, to go back, watch cutscenes, and look at it from the point of view of this story. At least for me. I'm glad you like Cloud, though. I was trying to make him open up because of Riku. I don't know if it happened, but I hope it did. I'm glad you'll be reading from now on. Tis exciting.

**_Thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, and doesn't review. You are fantastic and I love you all._**

**_Prompt 60 will be up by the end of the weekend because 59 is just so close to 60 that is has to be done. I'd like another ten-set completed._**

**_Until then . . ._**

**_-D_**


	60. Absurdity and Madness

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **060. Peace

**Word Count**: 8,658

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Cloud spills the beans, and who the hell are Squally and Chocobo-head?

**Disclaimer**: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I'm sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let's face it: I don't even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there's no proof of, because I'm deluded like that.

**Author's Note**: Would've been out sooner except this was an excruciatingly hard chapter to write. I'm pleased with the turnout, however. Hope you are, too.

* * *

**_Step Sixty: Absurdity and Madness_**

Cloud sat astride Fenrir, one leg on either side, still clutching two pieces of his brand new sword in his hands. His eyes fell on Zack in the crumbling doorway remains and all the angry feelings dissipated; the confusion returned. Zack was usually so cool and casual. He'd seemed so back at Tifa's even with the hurt in his expression. Now he was standing there, looking so unsure of what to do or say. Cloud had only ever seen Zack look like this once back in Nibelheim when Sephiroth wouldn't come out of that basement for days. The connection between the two monumental situations did little to ease his guilt.

"Tifa's worried about you," said Zack. "She found your Gummi ship but you weren't there so I came looking for you."

Zack shifted and took an uneasy step toward Cloud. For a brief moment, his eyes shot to the side, and Cloud followed the direction. He landed on Leon who looked more composed than either he or Zack must have looked; his stoic, unmoved expression wavered between the other two. Cloud turned his attention back to Fenrir, placing the two sword pieces in compartments on his bike. He sighed and shot Leon a glance, their eyes meeting briefly for a second.

"Obviously," said Cloud. "I told you I was going for a walk."

"That was yesterday, _and _you took Fenrir without telling anyone."

"You saw me take her."

"You're missing the point, Cloud."

"Then what is it the point?"

Cloud wasn't sure why he was snapping at him. Perhaps it was the emotions running fast and thick through his system. He couldn't have controlled his mouth if he tried. He knew it was unfair to take this unforeseeable turn of events out on Zack. He wasn't even unhappy Zack was back, but now, essentially, he had two boyfriends, one of which he had to hurt, and this was why Cloud pushed away people in the first place. It never turned out well in the end. Look at what had just happened to Riku.

Zack didn't answer. Instead, he actually gave Leon an uneasy glance. Cloud almost snickered at the hesitant look in Zack's eyes when he managed to figure out what it was all about. He didn't recognize him. It had been so long . . .

"Who's your friend?" said Zack.

Leon's eyes slightly widened, just enough for Cloud to notice, but not enough for Zack to catch on. This time Cloud actually did snicker.

"Is he serious?" said Leon.

"I think he is," said Cloud.

Zack looked between them as if trying to figure something out. His face was screwed in concentration. Then his face changed to something that might have been anxiety if SOLDIER hadn't beaten that emotion out of all their First Class elite.

"You're not . . . Riku? Are you?"

This time Leon actually laughed, too.

"Definitely not," said Leon.

"He wishes," said Cloud.

"What?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. Riku thinks you're super sexy. If it weren't for me, he'd totally have sex with you. He made me a point to tell me all about it when I went to see him."

Leon snickered.

"I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. He just likes to get you riled up. He's got a sick sense of humor like that."

"Well it worked."

"I'm missing something," said Zack.

"Yes, you are," said Leon.

"Come on, Zack," said Cloud. "You remember Squall, don't you?"

"Do _not_ call me that. It's Leon now."

"He doesn't know that."

"Well now he does."

"Still think Leon Leonheart sounds stupid."

"I don't really care what you think."

"Did I go into detail about Ascalon and Sidewinder yet?"

"Choke and die."

"Wait," said Zack. He walked farther into the church this time, hesitation gone, and peered closely down at Leon. "Squall? Squall Leonheart?"

"For the love of . . ." said Leon. "Now look what you did!"

Cloud snickered.

"He prefers Leon," said Cloud.

"What . . ." said Zack. "I haven't seen you since . . ."

"Yeah," said Leon. "It's been a long time."

Cloud smiled and glanced up from Fenrir to take in the scene before him. It had been a long time. When was it last just him, Zack, and Leon? Almost ten years, not since they were kids. Still, this felt so normal. Maybe it was because he was used to Riku being the third addition to their friendship these days, but Zack was so different from Riku that Cloud suspected it was just Zack. He fell easily back into the fold despite the more awkward points of the situation. It was nice.

"What are you doing here?" said Zack.

"Cloud called me in hysterics freaking out about you being back from the dead. I'm here for moral support."

Cloud shot Leon a grateful smile, but when Leon's eyes caught his, Cloud's smile fell away. Apparently Cloud was getting ahead of himself; Zack did not fall as easily back in the fold for everyone. Some moral support Leon was going to be. His voice was confident and casual, and even his body language was relaxed, but there was something not right in his eyes and the setting his lips had taken. Cloud wondered if maybe Leon was taking this Zack resurrection just as bad if not worse than Cloud himself. Zack looked far worse off and awkward looking down at Leon who hadn't even bothered to stand.

"Yeah, I heard you were close again," said Zack. "I think it's really great."

Leon nodded.

"It is. He's trouble and pretty helpless, but he's so good to laugh at that you just have to forgive him."

Zack laughed.

"Sounds like Spiky."

"Shut up, Leon. You say that like you aren't trouble," said Cloud. "And your demands that I can't meet? They're unreasonable."

Leon looked at Cloud.

"I asked you to hit a nail with a hammer."

"And for me, that's unreasonable."

Leon shrugged.

"Touché."

"Yeah, right. So you can just stop broadcasting how I'm helpless to everyone."

"I do not broadcast."

"I can tell absolutely nothing has changed between you two," said Zack.

"What's that supposed to mean?" said Cloud.

"You always bickered like this. The biggest difference is you haven't made Squally cry yet."

Cloud snickered.

"Cloud did not make me cry. He is pitiful and incompetent, and my name is _Leon_."

"Sure it is, Squally."

"Squally . . ." said Cloud, still snickering. "I forgot you called him that."

"My name is Leon!"

"I know it is, kiddo," said Zack. He winked at Cloud. "Just go along with whatever he says. We wouldn't want to confuse him."

Leon glared the kind of glare that would make Yuffie shut up. Zack seemed unconcerned.

"Why the hell are you picking on me? Don't you have better things to do now that you're back from the dead?"

Zack appeared to ponder this for a moment and then shook his head.

"Not really. I'm sorry, kiddo. Did I hurt your feelings?"

"Don't call me kiddo!"

"Still gets bent of shape easy, too . . ."

"And the tables get turned," said Cloud. "It's about time. I was starting to think I might have to spend the rest of my life with Leon and Riku ganging up on me."

Zack's smile became a little less joyous, a little more closed off at the mention of Riku, but it didn't falter completely. Cloud noticed this, his laughter quieting. He tried to turn over the thousand things he might say to rectify the situation in his head, but nothing came. Zack fixed his glance on Leon, avoiding Cloud's eye.

"It's good to know someone kept Cloud grounded in my absence," said Zack. "Unfortunately the same can't be said for you, Squally."

Leon rolled his eyes.

"Why do you insist on harassing me?"

"Because you were the baby."

"Yuffie was the baby."

"Yuffie was badass. You were a wimp."

"Why do I not remember this?" said Cloud.

"Cause you were the one who always made him cry? Maybe you're blocking it out."

"If I made him cry, why does he gang up on me?"

"Revenge," said Leon. He was still glaring. "Enough of this. You came here for a reason, didn't you?"

Zack was still grinning as he turned his attention back to Cloud.

"Yeah. Tifa wanted me to track Spiky down. She's been worried since you took off with Fenrir that you might have run into Kadaj and his gang. She even called Reno in case you headed over to Healen."

"What the hell is Healen?"

"That's what I said. Glad to know I'm not the only one who missed a lot."

"I've been in Hollow Bastion."

"And Olympus Coliseum," said Leon. "And in Traverse Town. And the World that Never Was. And on your Gummi."

"I get around a lot, okay? That still doesn't answer my question."

"Oh, yeah," said Zack. "It's some new town, I guess. Never heard of it before, anyway, and I heard a lot in SOLDIER. They've got some Geostigma Sanatorium there. Anyway, that's where Reno is. Obviously you didn't go there . . ."

"Obviously. I haven't even been in touch with Reno yet."

"You'll get on that when you're ready, but I really should be convincing you to go back to Tifa's. The kids are worried, too . . ."

At the mention of the kids Cloud hung his head. It had been selfish to take off like that. When it was just Tifa in the picture . . . Marlene and Denzel shouldn't be worried about him. They were just kids, and he was the grown up here. It should've been the other way around.

"Yeah. You're right."

Cloud closed the compartments on Fenrir, hiding away the last pieces of First Tsurugi. Leon stood, brushing off his leather pants as if this were the final signal they were leaving.

"Listen . . ." Zack spared Leon a glance before crossing close to Cloud. "I know this is hard for you, too. I know you were there when it happened. This was probably the last thing you ever expected."

"It was just hard getting over you. I mean . . . I _was _there. I saw you die, and I had to get over failing you on top of losing my boyfriend. Now that I've actually moved on . . ."

"I get it. If our positions were reversed, I would expect you to understand, too. I don't want to make this any harder on either one of us."

"Neither do I."

"Just know that whatever Tifa might think should happen or what I would like to happen, I get it. You have a new boyfriend, and I understand that. I just hope he knows how lucky he is."

"I have full confidence that he does," said Leon, walking up to Cloud's side. Cloud managed to give him half a smile.

"I hope so," said Cloud.

"Things are just messed up with him right now."

Zack frowned.

"Why? What's going on? Is something wrong?"

Cloud laughed without mirth in an exasperated sort of way. He shook his head.

"Yeah. Something's always wrong with Riku."

"Yeah . . . Tifa told me about the realm of darkness debacle."

"Did she?"

"Why don't we talk about this later," said Leon. "Give Cloud time to sort out his thoughts, huh?"

"You, too," said Cloud. "I still need to know about that phone call."

"And I will tell you once we get Tifa's verbal lashing out of the way."

"I can know about this, too, right?" said Zack. "I'm not out of the loop now just because I was dead or me and Spiky broke up or anything am I?"

Leon grinned.

"You can be there for the depressing, monumental Riku conversation if you really like," said Leon.

"Just be forewarned it will be depressing and monumental," said Cloud.

"And you might feel you've gathered a thousand reasons to take back what you said about understanding Cloud has a new boyfriend."

"It won't matter what you think, though, because I won't listen. I love him, and I'm not going to break up with him. We promised not to let this affect the way we feel about each other."

"Oh, really? Why don't I know about this?"

"Why do you need to know about it? What are you? Our relationship guru?"

"Yes, and it's not my fault. You put me there all the way back in Olympus Coliseum. You're telling me about this."

"We also talked about commitment."

"You are _so _telling me about this."

"I will. After Tifa's verbal lashing, right?"

"Right."

"Do I get to hear about this, too?" said Zack. "Or is that too much?"

"If you really want to know," said Cloud.

"Hey, just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean I don't take a serious interest in your life. I fully intend on meeting your little Riku and giving him the talk."

"I'm not sure whether I have to be there for that, or it's just something I never even want to hear about," said Leon.

"You and me both," said Cloud.

"What?" said Zack. "You don't think he'll like me?"

"Definitely not," said Leon.

"I think he will," said Cloud. "After a month or so."

"Yeah. Once he gets past the fact that it's Zack."

"He felt threatened by you even in your death."

Zack raised his eyebrows.

"No wonder you're freaking out so much. Here I thought I was just that repulsive to you."

"No. I'm glad you're back. It just . . . it's hard, and Riku's going to lose his mind over this, especially after what happened to him."

"Which I still don't know about," said Leon.

"I know. You will. Be patient."

Leon grumbled.

"Well . . . I've got my bike outside," said Zack. "Ready to head back to Tifa's?"

"Yeah," said Cloud. "Leon? You coming with me or Zack?"

"I've already debased myself to riding with you," said Leon. "I don't need to add Zack to the list."

"Thanks. I feel loved."

"Sorry, Cloud, but the idea of clinging to you on your sexed up motorcycle just doesn't do it for me."

"Riku would like it."

"Riku likes pretty much anything to do with you."

"He does, doesn't he?"

"This Riku conversation later is going to be a little harder to hear than I initially anticipated," said Zack as Cloud climbed back on Fenrir. "I will take comfort in his feeling threatened. Is it wrong I kind of enjoy it?"

"What?" said Leon. "That Riku feels threatened by you?"

"Yes, that."

"I think that's a perfectly normal response."

Cloud shrugged and nodded.

"Makes me feel bad, but yeah . . ."

"You gotta stop that shit," said Leon. "It doesn't help anyone."

"He's right," said Zack.

"Thank you, voices of reason. Can we get going now?"

Zack laughed and waved Cloud off as he walked back to the church entrance. Leon climbed on the back of Fenrir behind Cloud.

"This is going to work out okay, right?" said Cloud.

Leon patted his shoulder.

"Yes. Zack will get over it, Riku will accept it, and Zack's interest in your relationship is a good sign that he's willing to see you with someone else. It's going to be hard, and he's going to wish you'd just drop Riku, but he's trying to make an effort. You have to give it time."

"You really think so?"

"Yes. Now go, because I wasn't kidding earlier. Riding on your bike with you like you fucking girlfriend freaks me out."

"You're such a good friend, Lee."

"I hate you so much right now."

Cloud laughed as he turned the key, revved the engine, and drove from the church in the direction of Tifa's place in Edge.

-----0-----

Zack was waiting outside when Cloud pulled Fenrir into the garage. Leon and he dismounted and headed back outside, meeting up with Zack before attempting to go inside.

"I'll buffer for you, but I don't know how much help I'll be," said Zack. "Tifa is really unhappy with you right now."

"What else is new?" said Leon. "Tifa's always unhappy with Cloud."

"Yeah," said Cloud. "What's that about, anyway? It's like she thinks she's my mother or something."

"I think this time it's because you ran out yesterday, took off with your bike without telling anyone, gave no indication of where you were going, never came back, and on top of it all there's three mini-Sephiroths looking for you. Maybe Sephiroth himself, at that," said Zack.

"She worries about you," said Leon.

"It's not like I can't take care of myself," said Cloud. He frowned, glaring at some point beyond Zack of no significance.

"You had no weapon," said Zack.

"I do now."

"Please don't get him started," said Leon.

Cloud chose to ignore Leon's statement for now. He was sure that in the course of Leon's stay there would be more than enough ample opportunities to retaliate and defend his honor. Instead he focused on the building, eyeing it up as if entering would be the source of his demise. Cloud shook his head.

"I should've never come back here."

Zack actually laughed.

"Tifa isn't that bad."

"Oh, yes, she is. Leon, you're my second in command. If she tries to make me cry, it's your job to eat her again."

Leon rolled his eyes.

"I do not _eat _her."

"You so ate her at the bonfire; it was almost funny."

"You guys had a bonfire?" said Zack. "When?"

"Last fall," said Leon.

"I can't believe I missed that."

"You miss a lot when you're dead."

"Yeah, I've noticed."

"Cloud?"

Cloud's head snapped away from the house and turned toward Leon.

"What?"

"Are you going to go in or what?"

"I'm still debating."

"I can't go in until Spiky does," said Zack. "Tifa will eat me if I walk in there without him."

Leon looked between Zack and Cloud. He growled and pushed past them toward the door.

"Where are you going?" said Cloud.

"I'm not standing out here all day with you two idiots. Tifa is not scary, and I'm not going to cower by her door abetting your fears."

"Does he know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of Tifa's punches?" said Zack as Leon wrenched open the door and stepped inside. He didn't bother to shut it.

"I don't think so."

"Think we should go save him?"

"It would be the honorable thing to do."

"Since when are we honorable, though?"

"You make a good point. However, once Tifa knows Leon's here and I'm still hiding outside, the verbal lashing is going to be so much worse."

"Good point."

Zack and Cloud considered each other for a second. A soft, almost affectionate smile crossed Zack's lips and Cloud tried not to shift too much, forced himself not to look away and make this awkward again. He returned the gesture with as much of a smile as he could muster, which might have looked like a grimace, but Zack either didn't notice or attributed it to whatever was awaiting Cloud inside. Cloud nodded.

"Let's get this over with then," said Cloud.

"After you."

Cloud regarded Zack a second longer and then strode to the open door, mindful to keep his shoulders squared and head high. This confrontation with Tifa after he just took off yesterday was something like going into battle. Cloud had gone into too many battles to not know that any show of his weaknesses should be left at the door. As many as he could hide there, anyway, because he had a lot of them, and Tifa's arsenal had a surprisingly broad range.

"Tifa!" said Zack. "I'm back, and I've got Spiky in tow!"

Tifa walked out from the back with a dish and towel in hand. Leon walked out behind her. He crossed his arms over his chest, leaned against the doorway, and nodded at Cloud.

"Tifa's so pleased to see me," he said.

"I was just surprised!" said Tifa. "Don't make me throw this at you."

She brandished the dish at him.

"We really missed something there," said Cloud.

"And this time I wasn't even dead," said Zack.

"No, you really didn't," said Leon. "Just Tifa barking at me about what the hell I was doing here, and 'Don't you have a restoration to take care of?'"

He said the last part in a high-pitched, snappy tone. Tifa spun around and dropped the hand holding the towel to her side. The cloth actually slapped against her leg.

"Was that supposed to be me?"

"No, of course not."

"I do not sound like that."

Leon shook his head.

"Of course you don't."

Tifa glared at him and turned her face back to Zack and Cloud. Over her shoulder, Leon nodded. He mouthed something that looked like, 'Yes, she does.' Zack snorted.

Tifa sighed. She placed the dish on the bar counter and touched a hand to her forehead. Cloud shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"So . . ." said Cloud. "If there's nothing else . . . I mean . . . So where did you want me to sleep?"

Tifa glanced up. Her eyes were livid.

"Where . . .? Are you kidding? Where the hell have you been?!"

Cloud shrugged.

"Out?"

"He slept on the Gummi ship," said Zack.

"We checked the Gummi," said Tifa.

"I was overwhelmed, okay?" said Cloud. "I called Leon and he told me to stay on the Gummi and not go anywhere until he could call me back so I did. He showed up. We went and got me a new sword, and then we went to the church in the Sector Six Slums. That's it. I didn't see Sephiroth. I didn't meet up with Kadaj and his gang. I hardly had any human contact."

"What the hell do you call me?" said Leon.

"You don't count," said Zack.

"I just needed to clear my head," said Cloud.

Tifa sighed. She stared down at the bar counter for a long while and then she glanced up to meet his eyes.

"I've moved Marlene into Denzel's room. Zack's staying in Marlene's, and I don't have any extra rooms, so you're going to have to share with Zack. Think you can handle that?"

Cloud gritted his teeth.

"Yeah. I think I'll manage."

"Well how am I supposed to know, Cloud? After the way you just took of yesterday . . ."

"It was a big shock," said Zack. "I'm sure we'll be okay bunking up, eh, grunt?"

Cloud glared.

"Don't call me that. I always _hated _it when you called me that."

"Now you know how I feel," said Leon.

"And now that you've drawn attention to yourself . . ." said Tifa. She placed on hand on her hip and spun toward Leon. "Vincent should be home tonight and I'm not sharing with you, so as long as you're here, you're going to have to share with the moron twins. Have fun with that."

"Oh come on," said Leon. "I wanted to bunk with Marlene and Denzel."

"Why am I a moron now?" said Zack. "You I get, but what did I do?"

"You didn't do anything," said Tifa.

Cloud snorted.

"Yeah. You just are a moron."

"Let me just say I really feel the love in this room right now," said Zack. He patted his chest. "I mean really. Right here in my heart. We should have a group hug or something."

"Hug me and I kill you," said Leon.

"I don't think he's kidding," said Cloud.

"Now this is what I'm talking about," said Zack. "I feel so close to you all. Come on Squally, grunt. I'll show you to our room and we can start planning our slumber party."

Zack actually took off up the staircase. Leon quirked one eyebrow and directed it at Cloud.

"That's Zack's way of getting you out of the room before I think of anything else to say to you," said Tifa.

"Ah," said Cloud. "Right on that."

"Was he always like that?" said Leon, joining Cloud on the stairs. "Or is this just . . . his brain . . . is it scrambled or something since he died?"

Cloud shook his head.

"Nope. Zack was always like this."

"I remember him being . . ."

"Cooler?"

"Yeah."

"It's almost tragic how far our heroes fall when we grow up and realize they're a bunch of dorks."

Leon stopped at the top of the stairs and stared at Cloud. He nodded.

"You're right. I used to look up to you, too."

"Oh shut up."

"Really feel the love in this room," said Zack from a door somewhere to the left. "It just warms my heart."

-----0-----

There were two beds in the room designated for Zack, Cloud, and Leon to share. Leon was the first to point out this problem, and when Zack and Cloud decided that Leon would be best off sharing with Cloud, he bitched for three full minutes about personal space before he insisted on sleeping on the floor. He got halfway through tearing the blankets off the bed before Zack actually kicked him in the foot, mussed up his long, sable hair, and told him to grow up.

"I know Spiky's sexy, but I have faith in your powers of self-control," said Zack.

"Why don't you two share?" said Leon. "It wouldn't be the first time."

The twin glares he received were enough to convince Leon of the sheer idiocy that such a statement suggested. Leon, however, in a seeming battle against giving Zack the satisfaction of winning (because, by this point, Cloud was sure Leon would ordinarily give in), continued his attempts at setting up a makeshift bed on the floor. He would only be here for a few days, he protested. He needed his personal space when he slept. He couldn't take the threat he might wake up next to Cloud having one of _those_ dreams about Riku.

Unfortunately for Leon, Zack did not seem to notice that Leon was just being stubborn (or maybe he had and was just genuinely enjoying pissing Leon off). Every time Leon dropped his pillow on the floor, Zack returned it to the bed. When Leon dragged his sheets to the floor and turned back for the pillow again, Zack collected the blankets together and dropped them on the bed. Cloud sat on Zack's bed watching this exchange, trying not to laugh, as they worked around each other in circles, undoing everything the other had just accomplished.

"Lee, why don't you just give up?" said Cloud after the eighth time this cycle occurred. "I'm really not that bad."

"This is principle now."

"I'm just going to keep picking it all up," said Zack. "My persistence is almost unheard of. You might as well give in."

"I'm not giving you the satisfaction, Fair."

"Isn't he cute trying to prove how grown up he's become?"

"Why are you torturing me like this?"

"It's a big brother's prerogative."

"You're not my brother!"

"That's not what you used to say."

"I was ten!"

Cloud snickered.

"You have no idea how much fun it is watching you get tortured for a change," said Cloud.

"That's enough commentary from the peanut gallery, Strife."

"He's getting serious, Zack. Might want to back off."

"Not in this lifetime. I have seniority whether I died or not. Squally's just going to have to accept that."

"Stop calling me Squally!"

"But you look so precious when you blush like that. Doesn't he look precious, Spiky?"

"Adorable."

"I hate you both."

"Just let him win," said Cloud. "I'll help you get him next time. It's not like I'm going to hog the covers or anything."

"Yeah," said Zack. "I'm the blanket hog. Isn't that right, Chocobo-head?"

"Whatever . . . I can't take this anymore, anyway."

Leon collapsed on the bed next to Cloud. Zack did a little victory dance and dumped all of the blankets back on the bed. He sat on top of them.

"And he doesn't even make the bed . . ." said Leon.

"Why should I? You made the mess."

Leon sighed.

"So I guess we have our routine 'Riku is in trouble' talk to go over, don't we?" said Leon.

"Leon is our relationship therapist," said Cloud.

"I'm considering charging a fee."

"You would never. You love us both too damn much to let us abuse each other as we do."

"This is true."

"Besides, if you want to be my best friend, you have to take all the bullshit that comes with it."

"Why is it that's all you seem to come with?"

"Because it's Spiky," said Zack. "He's always been full of drama. I've never met anyone else with so many issues."

Cloud raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really?"

"Really. Okay, well, there is Sephiroth, but he doesn't really count. He's so messed up I can't even properly touch on that."

Cloud shrugged.

"Good point."

"So . . . yeah. Let's hear what's going on with your boy-toy. I want to at least be in the loop if I can't be the boyfriend."

"And let's be direct here," said Leon. "What the hell happened to his voice?"

Cloud sighed. He dropped his head in his hands.

"Can't we ease into this or something?"

"No," said Zack and Leon. They smirked at each other.

"Fine," said Cloud. "Riku . . ."

"Does it have to do with the darkness?" said Zack. "I heard he was in the realm of darkness."

"Yeah," said Leon. "What did Tifa tell you?"

Zack shrugged.

"Cloud was dating some kid who was fucked up in the darkness. I hear he's sixteen, right?" Cloud and Leon nodded. "Way to pick 'em young, by the way, Spiky."

"You do know I have a name, don't you?" said Cloud.

"Yeah. What do you mean?"

"Chocobo-head. Spiky. Grunt. My name is Cloud."

"I know that, but Cloud's just not fun to say. I could call you Cloudy. Cloudster. Oh! Cloudykins!"

Cloud blinked.

"Yeah. Chocobo-head works."

Zack smiled.

"I knew you'd see things my way."

"Off the subject . . ." said Leon.

"Oh, right!" said Zack. "Okay . . . well. I don't know. Tifa just said he was really messed up. He was in the realm of darkness. Something about Keyblades and he's one of the wielders, but he was caught up with the bad guys. Got possessed. I don't know. She kept talking about how she doubted it would last with you both involved with the darkness and that now that I'm back, she hopes we get back together. Obviously that's not going to happen . . ."

"They're really good for each other," said Leon. He gave Cloud a wry smile. "Even if they do need serious amounts of therapy."

"Spiky would need therapy either way."

"I love you both so much," said Cloud.

"We know."

"It sounds like you're pretty caught up to speed, then," said Leon. It seemed to Cloud he was the only one without a wandering attention span. "If you have any questions just ask, okay?"

"No problem."

"Okay. So . . . What the hell is going on?"

"I told you . . . I can't say anything."

"I'm getting kind of tired of that excuse. When I talked to Riku he just didn't sound right."

"What happened there? Really. He said he acted like an asshole, but I couldn't really follow what he was going off about."

Leon sighed.

"I'm lost," said Zack.

"Riku was living with us in Hollow Bastion," said Leon.

"Right. Tifa told me."

"But he senses things . . . it's because of the Keyblade, I think. And there were these weird creatures popping up around Hollow Bastion . . ."

"Nobodies," said Cloud.

"Huh?" said Zack.

"They're Nobodies. When someone gets turned into a Heartless, the Nobody is the empty shell that's leftover. That's what Roxas was. Sora's Nobody."

"Sora's the kiddie Keyblade master no one remembers, right?"

"Yep. Sora has been asleep all this time with his memories taken apart because of something that happened in Castle Oblivion."

"Where Riku was between the realm of darkness and Hollow Bastion," said Leon.

"Yeah, Tifa went over that. Said that's why no one can remember the kid. She told me a bit about this Organization XIII, but not much. I don't really understand what they are."

"Group of powerful Nobodies, and that's about all anyone knows right now," said Cloud. "Roxas was in their ranks."

"How does Sora have a Nobody, though?" said Zack. "He's a Keyblade master. He couldn't have been a Heartless . . ."

"I don't remember, but I'm sure that once we actually remember the kid . . ."

"Ah, yeah. Good point."

"So, anyway, Riku took off because the piece of Ansem in his heart was bothering him," said Cloud. "He just knew something was starting to happen so he left. He ended up running into this DiZ guy he met in Castle Oblivion, who told him about Organization XIII and Roxas. So now that he had a goal, he was on his way again."

"To the World that Never Was," said Leon.

"Which happens to be where Organization XIII's stronghold is. He had to obtain Roxas—Sora's Nobody—for DiZ to wake Sora back up because Naminé—that's this witch girl who took Sora's memories apart in the first place—she can't chain everything back together without that piece of him. I went after him, and then . . ."

"That's as much as I know," said Leon. "Except something that Riku is horribly embarrassed about happened and he wants no one to know what that thing is. I tried to call him because we're friends and I'm worried about him, but . . ."

"But he was horrible, or so he says," said Cloud. "Actually, he said he freaked out, and was horrible, and now he's freaking out because he has to make this up to you before his pride destroys everything like it did with Sora last time."

"He was defensive," said Leon. "He was confused and defensive. Reminded me more of a scared animal backed into a corner than anything. I don't hold anything he said against him. I just want to know what happened so I can understand."

"It's nothing new," said Cloud. "I mean . . . it _is_ new. It's just because of the piece of Ansem in his heart still. It would've never happened if he hadn't been possessed. He didn't do anything wrong. I'm incredibly proud of him, but I hate how it turned out. Especially for him because now . . ."

"Why don't you just tell us, Cloud? I'll pretend to be surprised when he tells me," said Leon. "Besides, it's better than Zack thinking he's gotta steal you back before Riku only makes your connections with the darkness worse."

"He's got a point there," said Zack. "This is just sounding all bad right now. I know he can't be too terrible because you like him, and you have excellent taste if I say so myself, but I'm just not seeing anything good about him."

"He's the strongest person I know," said Cloud. He took a deep breath.

"You said by the time you got there he already fought Roxas and lost. Badly."

"Roxas wasn't coming quietly, I take it," said Zack.

"Not at all. When I found him . . . yeah. He'd already tried to fight Roxas, but he lost. Roxas is amazing."

"He reminds Cloud of Sephiroth."

Zack blew out a low whistle.

"Wow."

"Yeah," said Cloud. "Riku just didn't stand a chance. He had to resort to using the darkness just to avoid being killed."

Leon sat up a little at this new piece of information.

"I know you said he had to use darkness to beat him, but you didn't say anything about that first fight," said Leon.

"It gets worse from here on out, trust me," said Cloud. "He had to win to help awaken Sora, but Roxas was just too good. He let out just enough so that Roxas didn't kill him, but when that happened . . . All the dark powers he has are tied to that piece of Ansem. By the time I got to him, his eyes were already orange."

"You just totally lost me," said Zack.

Cloud swallowed.

"He was possessed. When Ansem was killed, he still had Riku's body. Riku was in the realm of darkness. His heart overcame it, but he wasn't strong enough to take his body back. It only returned after Ansem was defeated right before they shut that door to darkness. The piece of Ansem in his heart and the powers are connected, so when he let out some of the power . . ."

"He let out some of Ansem's appearance, too," said Leon, releasing a long breath.

Cloud nodded.

"Yeah. And until he can defeat that final piece any dark powers he uses . . ."

"Are just going to let it out a little more," said Leon. "Only . . ."

"Only to capture Roxas he had to take full advantage of those powers he still had lying dormant in his heart. So . . . there was no other option. I was there. I couldn't do anything to help him. I just had to watch it all, and Roxas wasn't backing down. Riku was taking such a beating, but without Roxas . . ."

"No Sora," said Leon. "And with no Sora . . ."

"The worlds are fucked?" said Zack.

"Yeah. So . . . Yeah. He chose to use the resources he had, and now . . ."

"And now he looks and sounds just like Ansem," said Leon.

"All in the name of Sora's reawakening," said Cloud. "And it doesn't end there because now he's in Twilight Town watching over Roxas while Sora's being restored. He has full intentions of guiding Sora and watching over Organization XIII once he's awake. His life is just completely on hold until this is finished."

"And he doesn't want Sora to know," said Leon.

"Absolutely not. The last time he saw Sora he was on the other side of the door to the realm of darkness. He does not want Sora seeing him again for the first time after all that still walking in the darkness, completely _encased_ in it."

Leon closed his eyes. His hands clasped, he brought them to his forehead, and his thumb worried the skin between his eyebrows.

"As far as Sora is concerned, I know nothing more than he's ever told me about Riku. I shouldn't have pushed him so hard . . ."

Cloud met Zack's eyes. Zack shrugged.

"Sounds like you've got a fucking martyr on your hands there."

"He feels he's got to atone," said Cloud. "For everything he did wrong. And like I said, I'm so proud of him for the choices he's made, but . . ."

"But you hate seeing him go through this," said Zack. "I get you."

"He's showering in the dark. This appearance is just a constant reminder of everything wrong he's done. He can't even stand to look at himself. He doesn't even really want me to know. He talks about it a little, but he doesn't want to talk much because of the voice. He certainly doesn't want to see me, and . . ." Cloud took a deep breath. He focused his gaze on the floor. "We promised in the World that Never Was that if this happened—we knew it might come to it—we wouldn't let it tear us apart. But now . . . I'm almost happy when we don't speak because . . ."

"Because . . ." said Leon. Cloud cut him off.

"Let me finish this. I have to say it myself." Cloud took a deep breath again. "Because I don't really want to face it. I don't want it to be real. I know it's selfish, but I want my Riku back. It's not his voice. The last time I saw him . . . I know it's him, but I have to remind myself that, and I don't want to have to. I try to act like nothing's changed when we talk because nothing really has . . . I love him more than ever, but . . . but it hurts. I haven't called him. I hope he doesn't call me. I just don't know what to do."

"I have no doubt that he'll overcome this," said Leon. "I never had any doubt that he would beat that piece of Ansem, and I'm still sure he will."

"I know he will. I just don't know how to handle it in the meantime."

"Just give it time. Listen to him. Just be there for him."

Cloud nodded.

"All I have to say is it's no wonder he's a Keyblade wielder," said Zack.

"Why's that?" said Cloud.

"I don't think any of us could handle all of what that kid's been through quite as well."

"He's showering in the dark, Zack. He won't even look in a mirror. He's beating himself up every day, and I'm only making it harder by letting it get to me."

"Yeah, but he's still doing something. He's still trying to help that Sora kid out, isn't he? He's not just sitting around brooding for awhile before someone forces him to take action. He went and did that on his own."

Leon raised his eyebrows. Cloud's gaze dropped to the floor.

"He's right," said Leon, shrugging. "Can't argue with that."

Cloud nodded. He raised his eyes to look at Zack and gave him a sad smile.

"He's the strongest person I've ever known."

"Hey, Zack, say something stupid," said Leon.

"What? Why?"

"Because I feel like I'm suffocating in the depression here."

"No way. I'm saving all the wisecracks for when Spiky tells us about their commitment conversation."

Leon's eyes brightened.

"Oh, yeah. You promised us one of those, too."

Cloud laughed a little.

"It really wasn't that funny. I told you it was in the World that Never Was. He challenged me with his Ansem orange eyes."

"Challenged you?" said Leon. "Come again?"

"Yeah. He was blindfolded most of the time because he couldn't bear to look at his eyes like that, but he took it off when we started talking about commitment. He said if I could talk about it with his eyes like that, then it could be a little more real."

"Sounds like Riku."

"I really want to hate this kid but I just can't," said Zack.

"You'd love him," said Leon. "He managed to drag Cloud to a club for New Year's last year. This is also known as the Christmas Incident wherein Cloud went crazy from jealousy and freaked out about how I was getting into their relationship, the way I look at Riku, and insisted I was trying to steal his boyfriend. Make a lot of jokes about it. Cloud likes them."

Zack snickered.

"That was ages ago!" said Cloud. "Did you really have to tell him about that?"

"You should have been there," said Leon. "The look in his eyes was classic. I swear he was plotting my murder."

Zack was full out laughing by now.

"Spiky, I never took you for the jealous type."

Cloud muttered under his breath. Leon snickered and nudged Cloud in the arm.

"Riku's also really talented at trash-talking Cloud into the ground. If you ever want to gang up on someone, Riku's the guy to get in on it. He was insulting Yuffie by the end of the first day, and that was his first encounter with the whole crew slinging verbal assaults around. Cloud even embarrassed the hell out of him talking about their reunion sex, which, if I'm correct in assuming, was probably only the second time Riku ever even had sex."

"Impressive. I'll have to meet him first, of course, and naturally I begrudge him for getting Chocobo-head all to himself, but I can't really blame him. I _was _dead. I think I'm going to like him, though. I say we keep him and get rid of Spiky."

"That's just what I've been thinking."

"Riku will be so happy to know that despite the ugly Ansem thing, you still like him more," said Cloud. "And that's coming from you and my ex-boyfriend."

Leon directed a smile at Cloud for a second and then it dropped. He stared.

"Riku is going to have a nervous breakdown," said Leon.

"Why?" said Zack.

"Huh?" said Cloud.

"Zack. He's still so wary about your feelings for him, and he was under the impression he was dead."

Cloud nodded.

"No shit. That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"He'd freak out anyway, but on top of this Ansem thing . . ."

"I know! How am I supposed to tell him this now? He might have been secure before when I told him I was with him now and I love him, but now? When he looks like Ansem? This is the absolute worst time to throw something like this on him."

"You can't keep it from him, though. You can't lie to him."

"I know. That'll just make it worse."

Leon frowned.

"Just be completely honest with him. Let him vent. Let him freak out. Just keep reassuring him that you aren't going anywhere, and keep doing it. He needs that in the first place, but even when he calms down about it . . . Just keep reassuring him."

Cloud nodded.

"I know. I know."

"I can talk to him if you want," said Zack. "Let him know I've been completely shot down. It feels great, by the way."

Cloud sighed.

"I'm sorry. I know . . . No one's ever going to replace you . . ."

"Let's not torture yourselves over this, okay?" said Leon. "Zack was dead. You moved on after a lot of heartache. He knows this. He didn't expect you not to move on. Riku just needs reassurance now more than ever. You need to keep your priorities in check. No one can afford to try and not hurt feelings right now."

"He's right," said Zack. "I hate this. A lot. And it's really hard to hear you talk about Riku, but I've gotta make jokes to make this a little easier, and eventually it just will be easier. I'll move on from this. You need to stop worrying about it. Worry about Riku. Worry about Sephiroth."

"Exactly," said Leon. "And don't just worry. Take an example from Riku here. Do something. Take care of Sephiroth. Let Riku know how important he is. Don't concern yourself with hurting anyone's feelings. Just be honest with everyone and yourself. It's the only thing you can do not to lose your sanity. And as far as the two of you go, just work on your friendship. Try to be at peace with one another. Zack is making an excellent effort."

"I am, aren't I?" said Zack.

"Yes, you are. And Cloud, you're doing really well, too, actually talking about Riku in front of Zack. You just have to keep this up when I'm not around."

"I will," said Cloud. "Or I'll try, anyway."

Leon nodded.

"Good."

"Now what is this about commitment?" said Zack.

"Yeah, really," said Leon. "What are we talking here? A nice little cottage, a dog, and two kids?"

"It wasn't much," said Cloud. His mind flitted back to the World that Never Was and that dingy house for a second. Riku was there in his mind, wearing that stupid cloak, and despite the orange eyes, squirming and smiling like this was the most difficult yet fantastic conversation he'd ever had. "We just decided that once Ansem and Sephiroth are finished with, he wants me to move to Destiny Islands with him because that's where he's got to finish school."

Zack chuckled.

"Finish school, huh? Better get yourself a car. Don't want to have to drive him to school on Fenrir. All the kids will make fun of him."

"Shut up," said Cloud. "It's not like that. I won't have to drive him to school. Besides, I think it's a really good thing he wants to go back and finish up."

"It is," said Leon in a terse way that made Cloud suspect that he was trying not to laugh, too. "Was there anything else?"

"Not really. Just finishing school and everything. After that we're going to decide from there."

"Decide what?" said Zack. "What color you want the picket fence to be?"

Cloud smiled at the floor.

"No. When he finishes school . . ."

"Look at that face!" said Zack, howling with laughter. "Look at that smile!"

Leon snickered.

"When he finishes school what?" said Leon.

"When he finishes school we're going to have the conversation again and . . . and I'm supposed to ask him."

"Ask him what?" said Zack, grinning.

"You know what."

Cloud glared.

"I know. I just want you to say it."

"I'd like to hear this out of your mouth myself, because I honestly thought the day would never come," said Leon.

Cloud huffed; a muscle in his cheek twitched.

"Ask him . . . you know . . . about commitment ceremonies . . . and stuff . . ."

Zack actually doubled over and rolled back into the messed up pile of blankets. Cloud grabbed a pillow from the bed and chucked it at him.

"It isn't funny!" said Cloud.

"Coming from you it is," said Leon.

"I love him, okay?"

"You're going to ask him to marry you when he finishes high school," said Zack in tears. "That's classic!"

"He's very mature for his age!" said Cloud.

At this, Leon burst into laughter, trying to hide his mouth behind his hand.

"You can have your reception in a playground!" said Zack. "We'll all have to drink grape juice instead of alcohol! Wouldn't want to corrupt the youth, after all."

"I think the youth's already corrupted," said Leon. "You can hear it a block away."

Cloud rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and shook his head.

"I hope you both suffer horrific deaths."

"I already did!" said Zack. Leon now was almost in tears, too.

Cloud sighed. He looked from Zack to Leon, still shaking his head. At least this was a truce, right? The three of them were at ease. Leon knew about Riku, Zack was taking it better than he could have ever hoped (far better—or he was just really good at hiding it), and Tifa wasn't about to murder him in his sleep. Riku would find out sooner or later, but Leon would be there for support, and Cloud knew all it would take was time and assurance until Riku no longer felt threatened by Zack's sudden and unexpected presence. Having Leon say so was the greatest comfort he could ever ask for.

Things were bound to turn to shit again soon enough. There was still Reno to attend to. Kadaj and his gang. Sephiroth. All of that could wait, though. Right now things were as happy as they could ever be in Gaea. He passed a glance between Leon and Zack once again as the laughter died down and Zack began to hiccup.

"I love you both," said Cloud. "I hate you, but I love you."

Leon smirked.

"Well what's not to like?" said Leon.

"I don't know," said Zack. "You have a sudden loathing for the name Squally these days."

Leon bashed Zack on the head with the bed's remaining pillow.

* * *

**_Now that I've got that out of the way, it'll be time to bring in Kadaj and the rest of the Mama's Boys trio. ::cackles::_**

**_Officially 3/5 of the way there. 60 down; 40 to go._**

**_I'm working on the FST right now. For those who don't know, FST is for fan soundtrack. There will be one-hundred tracks (we've got a theme going here, already, and I wouldn't dream of breaking it) and when it's finished, I'll have the links for download available on my LJ. My goal is to have it finished and up to coincide with the final chapter of this story, which fortunately gives me plenty of time to make graphics, compile all the songs, and get everything packaged up in a pretty bundle. _**

**_I would like to know, however, if anyone has any song in mind that fits this couple as far as this story's universe goes, or a song that's mood or lyrics fit to a particular chapter, please let me know. My goal is to match a song to every chapter whether it just be because of the mood, the theme, or lyrics that describe the characters/situations portrayed. This is more difficult than it originally sounded so I'm going to need some input if anyone has ideas. I'd prefer a PM or an email over a review, but if a review is all you can manage, it will do. I will be taking requests for this all the way up to until chapter 97 is posted, because I needs songs for all the upcoming chapters, too, and I won't be doing the final zip up until then. Don't worry; I will frequently remind you and ask/beg for suggestions, so please don't be shy. Any songs for any chapters posted already or that will be posted in the future. Really. I'm not even particular about how old the song is or the genre. If it fits, it fits. I have some songs to chapters already, but if someone has a better idea, I'll be more than happy to take it. Except for Chapter 40 (sorry people who had a club song ready at hand). Chapter 40 was written to one song alone on repeat for almost seven hours. It deserves to be on the FST._**

**_I'm also really trying to get my LiveJournal community, lovexwinter, running, so if you have an LJ, please stop over. Just search Cloud/Riku in interests. Make icons. Make banners. Draw fanart if you can draw (I, sadly, am an abysmal artist). Write something. It just has to be proofread, not fantastic. You can even just drop over and post something like, "Hey, people, let's talk about how sexy Riku's hair is." I really don't care. Pimp it out to any CloudxRiku fans. I really want to have challenges, contests, and stuff over there eventually. I'd love to do a round robin. This pairing is in desperate need of fanart. I love this stie, but I really want something of a more interactive community. That way, you know, we can all really chat about things in between chapters. Maybe even get to know each other better._**

**_As I've already said so much already, I promise to respond to reviews next time. I have a half hour until I need to book it out of this chair and go pick up my best friend from work._**

**_Next chapter as Riku allows. Hopefully he is less stubborn than Cloud._**

**_All my love to every single person who reads this story, has favorited this story, has put me on their story or author alerts, and leaves a single review. You are all fantastic, and I'm still amazed that last year I could hardly find anything for this couple and now there are people who, like me, just can't bear to see Cloud or Riku with anyone else...Even Leon. Bless him, the sexy beast he is._**

**_Until next time._**

**_-D_**


	61. Repeat

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **061. War

**Word Count**: 5,872

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell off. Who's left?

**Disclaimer**: Kingdom Hearts and the characters contained within (and, you know, all this Final Fantasy stuff I've been using, too) is property of Square Enix, Disney, and probably a bunch of other obscenely wealthy folk/corporations. As such, I am making no profit off this story. It is simply a product of an overactive imagination and a healthy dose of fangirl delusion.

**Author's Note**: You don't realize how much you just accept on good faith without any true understanding when you play a video game until you try to explain it. Twilight Town Day 3 (as it is obviously time to cover) takes Roxas through his Awakening. This led me to a multitude of questions. Why do Roxas and Sora have an Awakening? What is the point of the Awakening? What is that voice and where is it coming from during such Awakening? And why does Roxas almost fall into darkness at the end of his? I tried to answer these questions. Sorry if it doesn't makes sense or I abysmally failed.

* * *

**_Step Sixty-One: Repeat_**

Riku sat on the bed staring at the blank display on his cell phone. He sighed, flipped it open, fumbled with the buttons, and then shut it again. He wished Cloud would call, but at the same time was relieved that he didn't. Riku didn't know how good of a conversationalist he'd be right now. It would all have to do with the darkness anyway, his Ansem appearance, and Roxas, which wasn't all that interesting, either. It wouldn't really matter to Cloud if DiZ referred to Roxas as 'it'. He couldn't do anything about what awaited Roxas. There were no words of comfort that could be said regarding how he had messed up.

Roxas was not to know about Sora or his existence as a Nobody under any circumstances. Riku would have done well to remember that. DiZ was displeased with his composure in the alternate Twilight Town today and for good reason. No conversation with Cloud could make him feel any better about any of this.

Still, it would've been nice to hear his voice. That was selfish, though, wasn't it? What was the purpose of dropping this complicated, ugly scenario on his boyfriend when there was nothing that could be done about it? It had never done any good with Maleficent except maybe to get some of the frustration out, but look at how that had ended. Riku just needed to calm down and rise to the occasion. It was the only thing that would do any good.

Cloud would only worry, anyway. He had important business to attend to on Gaea with Reno, Shinra, and Sephiroth. Riku tried not growl at the thought. Like his situation, however, this was something that was unavoidable. Riku understood that Cloud had to do this just as he understood there was nothing he could do to save Roxas. It didn't make him feel better about it, though. Cloud was hardly together enough to face Sephiroth right now. How was he supposed to save Denzel and half the planet from that Geostigma? Why of all people did it have to be Cloud's ex-boyfriend that was mostly just sex to call him about it?

This would be the part where he talked to Leon about how crazy his head felt right now, because Leon would offer a calm, objective view on the situation. He wouldn't get overtly concerned about Riku's self-degrading episodes regarding Roxas. He would sigh and tiredly tell Riku that he had nothing to worry about over Reno. However, last time they had conversed Leon hung up on him after Riku slung about word vomit with the intention of never having to speak to the man again.

Sometimes Riku was amazed at his ability to destroy everything good around him. It had to be a talent.

Frustrated, Riku snapped the phone shut and dropped it in a top drawer of the nightstand. A soft knock sounded at the door, and it cracked open. Naminé stuck her head in and smiled.

"I've got your dinner," she said. "Hungry?"

"Not really," said Riku. He shrugged. "Guess I should eat something, though."

Naminé's smile faltered. She slid inside and shut the door behind her. Crossing the room she placed two plastic containers on the aforementioned bedside table and then she sat beside him. Her hand patted his thigh.

"What's bothering you?"

Riku shrugged again.

"Everything."

"Is DiZ still getting to you?"

"Not really. I mean, yes, but differently. I don't like the way he talks about Roxas."

"The way he talks about Roxas?" she said, and gave him the kind of smile that suggested she might be hiding a secret. "What? Like he's Nobody or something?"

Riku huffed. The corner of his lips twitched up.

"That's not funny."

"Yes, it is. Laugh."

"I don't want to. You're making fun of me."

Her expression softened.

"Riku, DiZ doesn't mean anything against Roxas. Roxas wasn't supposed to exist the way he does. Neither was I. DiZ is aware of that and able to keep it in perspective without becoming attached. I think things are easier that way, don't you?"

"But doesn't that bother you? You're a Nobody. I'm attached to you. You're my friend. What if . . . What if I didn't care when you were gone? Isn't that wrong?"

"Just like Sora. What am I going to do with the two of you?"

Riku frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"You both let your hearts overrule your head."

"Me?" said Riku. "I don't think so. I'm the sensible one. I wish I could be like Sora with the way he just goes with whatever feels right, but . . ."

"Just because you let your head guide your actions doesn't mean your heart agrees with it, and you focus on that instead. You do one thing, your heart tells you another, and you end up feeling torn. Isn't that right?"

"So what should I be doing, then?"

"It's a very sensible situation. Roxas and Sora belong together as one. You might like Roxas. I would hope you do considering he's a part of Sora, and Sora is your best friend."

"_Was _my best friend."

"_Is _your best friend. You might not like feeling that Roxas is gone. You might think it's unfair. You might even think you miss him, but he isn't going away. He's going home. When you understand that it will become easier to accept. Having a life as Sora again is far better than any life he could have on his own."

"But in the World that Never Was, Roxas outright rejected Sora."

"Of course he did. Are you telling me that there aren't parts about you that you don't like? That you don't argue with yourself? Tear yourself in half and make those pieces completely unaware of each other. Now try to tell them they belong together as a whole person. I know whichever half of you got your stubborn streak would flat out refuse to even listen to such an idea. That's how this is. Roxas is only part of Sora, and Sora will never be the Sora you once knew without him. He was just given a different name. It's strange the power a name can hold, isn't it?"

Riku dropped his head.

"It's really all that simple for you?" he said.

"Of course not. I hate to think that Roxas is in the dark about it all. I worry that he won't be able to properly integrate with Sora as his other half without knowing the truth. I know so much about Sora already, and being what I am, I'd like to meet his Nobody."

"You haven't met Roxas? What about Castle Oblivion?"

"Roxas was never there. He never left the World that Never Was once Xemnas took him there."

"He's kind of boring, anyway. At least now. There's always the alternate Twilight Town. He's still there. You just can't tell him anything."

"I've talked to DiZ about it. He's expressly forbidden it."

Riku snickered.

"You're a good girl, Naminé. I wouldn't have even bothered to ask.

Naminé sighed. She ruffled her long, blonde hair.

"Let's eat, huh?" she said. "DiZ wants us both in bed early. Tomorrow's an important day."

"What's tomorrow?"

"Roxas's heart has touched Sora's. He's been having those momentary blackouts. DiZ suspects tomorrow will be his Awakening."

"His Awakening? What do you mean?"

"Sora had one, too. An awakening as a Keyblade master. It's when the Keyblade officially chooses you as its master. Roxas has never had one being so disconnected from Sora. Now that their hearts are in touch . . ."

"Oh."

Naminé smiled.

"You never had one, either."

"No."

"Your heart has been too lost and confused in the darkness. You've been a master of shadows, working and living within them. You can wield one because you're meant to, but you haven't become a master of the Keyblade yet. You haven't found a way to walk in the light."

Riku dropped his head toward the floor. Naminé grabbed the food containers from the table.

"Don't worry about that," she said. "You wouldn't be able to wield one at all if the light were gone. The Keyblade still recognizes your heart. It just knows you aren't ready yet. When you are, the Keyblade will let you know."

Riku nodded.

-----0-----

Riku woke the following morning and headed down to the computer room as usual. He grabbed the only remaining paper bag and thermos, said a brief morning greeting to DiZ, and sat in the back corner to eat. This was the morning routine now that DiZ had shoved him away from the monitor, choosing to observe Roxas's interactions himself since Riku had already screwed up his job more than DiZ would have ever liked to allow.

"You might have to head into the system again today if his Awakening does not intervene," said DiZ. "Hayner has obtained 5000 munny from his uncle in an attempt to make up for yesterday's failed trip to the beach."

"They're trying to go to the beach again?" said Riku.

"It appears so."

"That kid has a one-track mind. When do you need me to head in?"

"I wouldn't worry about it just yet. Hayner has just left Roxas a note at their spot. Olette has dragged Pence off to go shopping. Roxas just woke up a few minutes ago."

Riku nodded.

"So if his Awakening occurs, he might miss the beach trip anyway?"

"That's right."

"Okay. So . . . right now all is quiet in the alternate Twilight Town?"

"Not exactly. Roxas saw Naminé when he awoke, though he, of course, does not know it was her."

"What do you mean he saw Naminé?"

"Exactly what I've said. He saw Naminé. I'm attempting to discern why—she's not programmed into the system—but I can't find any evidence that the system has been tampered with. It came from within, so it has nothing to do with Organization XIII. Have you seen Naminé this morning?"

"No. I saw her last night, but . . . Didn't you see her when she brought in breakfast?"

"It was here when I arrived."

Riku frowned.

"You don't think she's up to something, do you?"

"I don't try to understand the workings of teenage girl Nobody's mind. Now what's going on?"

Riku got to his feet, food and coffee abandoned. He joined DiZ by the screens and found Roxas in Market Street at Station Heights with Pence and Olette. His friends were frozen, and then Naminé was there, walking up to him. DiZ banged the computer and started pressing a lot of keys.

"What is going on?" said DiZ.

Riku cocked his head.

"Hello, Roxas," said Naminé.

"Why is Naminé in the system?" said Riku. "Why did Pence and Olette freeze?"

"I don't know. I didn't do it," said DiZ.

"Eh . . . Hi . . ." said Roxas.

Riku almost groaned. If he hadn't seen any proof that Roxas was actually Sora before, there it was in the slight blush. The almost shy voice as the pretty girl actually looked at and spoke to him. This Roxas and Naminé thing was Sora and Kairi all over again, and Naminé just stood there, smiling like he wasn't tripping over his own tongue.

"And you are . . .?" said Roxas.

He even bent his head forward in her direction with an almost stupid smile on his face for half a second. Naminé held up her hand as if to block him from coming any closer. Riku snorted.

"Dissed and dismissed," said Riku.

"This isn't a joking matter," said DiZ. He was still mashing keys. "I can't access Naminé. I can't even access the entry points to be checked. Everything is locked down."

"I wanted to meet you at least once," said Naminé.

"I told her no," said DiZ. "Why won't that girl listen to anything I tell her?"

Riku frowned. If the computer was locked down and Naminé has somehow found her way inside it . . . Maybe it had been a bad idea to call Naminé a good girl. He sincerely hoped that last night's conversation had nothing to do with Naminé's sudden desire to pop into the alternate world against DiZ's orders. She wanted Roxas to know all about Sora. That couldn't happen. Riku couldn't track Roxas down again if he ran off, and if he started causing problems in the alternate world, Riku couldn't keep beating him to the point of unconsciousness.

"She can't tell him anything he ought not know," said DiZ. "We have to get her out of there."

"Send me in," said Riku. "I'll get her to come out."

DiZ's eyes glared at him through the dark red bandages.

"I can't access the data machine through the system. You're her friend. Did you know anything about this?"

Not this exactly, Riku thought. He shook his head.

"Nothing."

That was all Naminé had said, however. That she wanted to meet him. She just walked away, leaving Roxas alone, confused, and actually scratching his head in wonderment. The parallels between Roxas and Sora was impossible to miss at this point, and Riku almost laughed again, his attention drifting from where it should be—concern over Naminé's presence in the computer—to amusement at Roxas's distress. He even got the bright idea that he ought to go off to the haunted mansion (DiZ's mansion, in the real Twilight Town) and ran off into the woods.

His amusement faltered. DiZ banged the desk again as Dusks appeared on screen.

"Organization miscreants! What is Naminé doing?"

It was through a lot of confusion and data rapidly racing across the screen that Riku watched Roxas run from the Dusks all the way to the Sandlot. Seifer and his friends were already there, and when Roxas ran by, Riku's momentary panic faltered as Seifer called out, "Chicken wuss."

"Thanks for the comic relief," said Riku.

"I'm glad you're so easily amused," said DiZ.

The Dusks entered the Sandlot not far behind Roxas. Seifer and his friends prepared to fight, too, as Roxas grabbed one of the Struggle clubs, but the weapon had no effect. Riku on instinct looked at the Keyblade by the data machine, not that they could send it to him anyway with the data machine out of commission. DiZ was practically pounding the keys now, attempting to control something—probably anything—in the computer, but it was futile. Then, just as Olette and Pence had done, Seifer and his gang froze. Somewhere from up above, Naminé walked to a ledge and shouted down.

"Roxas! Use the Keyblade!"

It would've been a fantastic idea, except the Keyblade couldn't be sent to him. Naturally, as unusual as things were today, it appeared anyway, within his hands, gone from the computer room. Roxas held it out before him, and then he was nowhere to be found. Naminé disappeared from the system.

"What happened?" said Riku. "Where did they go?"

DiZ sighed. He stopped pressing keys and leaned away from the monitor.

"Roxas is lost to us," said DiZ. "Only the Keyblade can reach him now."

Riku frowned.

"What do you . . . You mean the Awakening? Now?"

"His heart called the Keyblade to him. It's only natural. As for Naminé, I can only guess. I hope she is keeping an eye on the state of Roxas's heart. If he is lost to the darkness during his Awakening . . ."

"How can he be lost to the darkness?" said Riku. "I thought the Awakening was the Keyblade choosing him as a master. He should be within the light."

"Roxas is a Nobody. He is the remains after Sora temporarily fell into darkness. A Nobody has never had an Awakening before. Sora walked into the light, but a Nobody could easily fall away from existence into nothing. Naminé needs to prevent that from happening by pulling him back toward Sora."

"But Naminé's a Nobody. Wouldn't she fall into the darkness, too?"

"Naminé is not like other Nobodies."

DiZ hit the desk again. Riku sighed.

It felt like a very long time that Riku waited and nothing happened on the screen. Then out of nowhere, Sora's progress leaped four percentiles. DiZ looked up in alarm.

"Find Naminé," he said. "Find her now."

Riku didn't bother to question. He headed off toward the room where Sora slept, but DiZ shook his head.

"Check her room," said DiZ. "She works on the restoration there."

The urgency in DiZ's voice set him in motion. He practically ran up the stairs and out of the library, across the balcony, and slid open the door to Naminé's room. What he saw there made a weak feeling in his legs spread through his muscles for a second. It was her room, only it wasn't. The drawings were gone. It was hazy, like the same blinding light that had almost destroyed him on the fake Destiny Islands in Castle Oblivion. As he stepped through the doorway the same disconnected feeling he got when transferred through the computer washed over him. The balcony through the open door disappeared. The door itself was gone, too, and there was Roxas to the side, staring at Naminé, who was sitting up on a ledge.

"Roxas . . ." said Naminé. "Do you remember your true name?"

In blind panic, Riku darted to her side and grabbed her by the upper arm before this could continue. Roxas couldn't know. DiZ was going to kill him. Roxas could know, Roxas couldn't know, and Roxas couldn't know.

"Say no more, Naminé," is what Riku actually managed to say. In this odd space that was and wasn't Naminé's room, their voice echoed strangely from the walls.

"But if no one tells him, Roxas will . . ."

"It's best he doesn't know the truth."

"Hey!" said Roxas. He pointed defiantly at Riku. "You're that pickpocket!"

For the love of . . . Riku held a hand out. There was no time to knock him out and take him down to DiZ. Organization XIII had found a way into the access points, and the Dusks were still infiltrating. He concentrated hard on where Roxas had been left—back in the Sandlot—and opened a portal. Roxas jumped and backed away from it, but before he could dash off, Riku dropped his grip on Naminé and walked forward. Roxas fell through the portal before he ever realized Riku had been the one to push him.

Riku sighed. He turned back to Naminé, only slightly aware that the room was back to normal. The pictures were there again. Sounds, their voices sounded almost muted after the empty, hollow, echo before.

"What was that?" said Riku.

Naminé turned her back on him walked to the other end of the room.

"I can't believe you did that," she said.

"Naminé, Roxas can't know."

"He has to know! If he doesn't, he might reject Sora. If he doesn't know . . ."

"He rejected Sora anyway. DiZ says . . ."

"DiZ says what? I thought you were the one who told me you wouldn't even bother with what DiZ says! I wanted to see him, and he has to know."

"It was reckless! What if he hadn't been able to call the Keyblade? What if he tried to go to the beach and I couldn't get in to stop him?"

"I thought you understood. I thought . . . you know, what, Riku? I'm sure DiZ needs you, and I don't want to talk to you right now so you might as well just go."

Naminé pointed toward the door. Riku sighed.

"Naminé . . ."

"I don't want to talk about it."

Riku sighed. He spared one last look at her before making the long return walk to the computer room. DiZ didn't even move at his entrance.

"Roxas is back. He and his friends are in an argument about the missed trip to the beach. However, I can access the system again. Did he learn anything from Naminé?"

Riku hung his head.

"No. I stopped it."

"Good."

"So what happened?" said Riku. "How did you know she was here?"

"Sora's progress was so quick I simply assumed Roxas must have been nearby. The Awakening played a part, of course."

Riku looked at the screen covered in Sora's restoration progress as it announced he was up to forty-eight percent.

"Was that Naminé made of data?" said Riku.

"No . . . Naminé hijacked the data herself. Look what she's done now . . . She's totally beyond my control!"

DiZ slammed the desk with his fist. Again.

"Calm down."

"It doesn't matter. As long as Naminé accomplishes her goal we needn't worry about what befalls Roxas."

-----0-----

It seemed that Riku was just pissing people off and losing friends all around these days. He lost his family. He lost Sora. He lost Kairi. Cloud was practically untouchable since the World that Never Was, the same place had made an enemy out of Roxas. He couldn't just call up the Hollow Bastion crew, especially after Sora was awake. He pushed Leon away, and now Naminé was mad at him. She stayed that way for the remainder of the day. The only person he hadn't upset or pissed off in one way or another seemed to be DiZ. This was less horrific than Riku thought it would be. He supposed he might be getting used to it.

The next morning Riku walked into the computer room. Naminé was there already, handing DiZ his breakfast. She glanced at him as he entered, handed him his bag and drink, and walked out of the room. Riku sighed.

Once again, like Kairi, Naminé sure could hold onto a grudge for a few days. If she was anything like Kairi, though, it should blow over by this afternoon. He hoped Naminé held true to his comparison.

"What's going on today?" said Riku, looking in the bag at the banana and sandwich. "No impending beach trips, I hope."

"Struggle," said DiZ.

"Really?"

Ever since he first learned about the alternate Twilight Town, Riku looked forward to watching the Struggle. This was action. This was something that wasn't completely boring, and he'd just love to see Seifer get wailed on by Roxas again. Sure, he didn't fight nearly the way he did in the World that Never Was, but he was still pretty damn good, and Seifer really had it coming to him.

"They're listening to the rules now," said DiZ.

Riku picked a spot on the floor by DiZ where the screens were still within view. He absently peeled his banana, focused on the events. Fireworks sounded high in the sky as the commentator looked at Hayner, Seifer, Vivi, and Roxas. The crowd cheered loudly, whistling and catcalling. Hayner and Roxas were slated to go head to head first, which was apparently a big deal to Pence and Olette because after the incident in the Sandlot yesterday and the second missed beach trip, Roxas and Hayner had some sort of disagreement. Roxas was still deeply troubled by it. Riku thought Hayner was a little weird about how much he really wanted to go to that beach.

They looked ridiculous. Velcro strapped to their bodies, and attached to it these big, silly-looking balls that were called orbs for the sake of the tournament. The goal was to knock off as many orbs on the opposition as possible and the one with the most remaining at the end won. Riku was reconsidering how cool he thought the Struggle might be. Still . . . it sure beat picture thieves and poster duty.

Roxas and Hayner faced one another in the arena. Hayner looked ready to rumble like the bad boy he thought he was. Roxas looked like he might cry. This friendship was severely bizarre. He hoped that since Roxas was Sora in this duo, he was not Hayner. If Riku ever made a face like that in his life, someone really should have shot him.

"Hey . . ." said Roxas. "Sorry about yesterday."

Hayner dropped his fighting stance.

"What, you still worried about that? You need to learn to let that stuff go."

Riku clutched his chest.

"Holy shit, he said something intelligent!"

DiZ spared Riku a glance akin to amusement.

"I've got a lot on my mind," said Roxas.

"Sorry, man," said Hayner. There was a short pause. "Wait, what am I sorry for?"

He grinned. Roxas stopped looking like someone shot his dog. Riku sighed as both boys finally took fighting stances on opposite sides of the fighting ring.

"Our first match of today's Struggle tournament will be between Roxas and his best friend Hayner!" said the announcer.

It was a pitiful fight. Roxas, with his renewed appreciation for his friendship with Hayner, annihilated him. Out of the one-hundred orbs they started with, Hayner ended up with seventeen. Roxas only lost twenty. Seifer matched off against Vivi, but Vivi completely assaulted him. Riku's hopes and dreams of watching Roxas cream Seifer vanished as all one-hundred orbs fell off in the first twenty seconds. Seifer only got one hit in.

As Seifer came off the fighting ring, he paused before Roxas.

"That's not Vivi," said Seifer.

"Huh?" said Roxas.

"Thrash 'im."

Seifer headed off.

"What a sore loser," said Riku.

He wished he would have taken the comment more to heart. Roxas paired off against Vivi. The fight was brutal, almost vicious, and Riku sat closer to watch the exchange.

"Something's not right," said DiZ.

At the end of the time, Roxas won, but as the crowd cheered, everyone froze. Everyone except Roxas and Vivi, who stood there blinking for a few seconds, then there was a Dusk in his place.

"Again?" said Roxas.

"Oh for the love of . . ." said Riku.

More Dusks appeared in the area. They didn't even need to send the Keyblade; Roxas's heart called it to him.

"Again. . ." said Roxas for the second time as the Keyblade materialized there.

"Organization miscreants!" said DiZ.

He slammed the desk. Again.

Riku watched as Roxas battled the Dusks. DiZ hit about a thousand keys per second, but Riku's eyes were glued to the screen. When the Dusks were gone, Roxas stood there panting for a few seconds. The sound of clapping caught his attention, but Riku was already there, focused on the hooded, cloaked figure that was not him. Riku recognized that coding.

"Roxas. All right. Fight fight fight." The man approached Roxas. "You really don't remember? It's me." He threw back his hood to expose that wildly spiked, vivid red hair. "You know, Axel."

"Axel?" said Roxas.

God, the boy was clueless.

"Get over here," said DiZ. Riku stood and rushed to his side. "They have the Sandlot all blocked out. We need to hack in. I can't get in myself so we have to send a data-based projection. We don't have much time."

"But I . . ."

"Do it!"

"Talk about blank with a capital 'B,'" said Axel. "Man oh man, even the Dusks aren't gonna crack this one."

Two chakrams appeared in flames. Axel caught them in his hands.

"Wait a sec," said Roxas, "tell me what's going on!"

"This town is his creation, right?" Axel looked around. "Which means we don't have time for a Q & A."

"He knows," said Riku. "He knows about us."

"Hurry," said DiZ.

"You're coming with me," said Axel, "conscious or not. Then you'll hear the story."

Riku took over DiZ's place at the monitor. Hack in, he said. It was harder than it sounded, but Riku didn't bother even trying tell DiZ that. He plugged away at the computer. Axel seemed to have noticed, made some sound of recognition, and without realizing it gave Riku the determination to keep going. He was, at least, getting somewhere.

"What's going on!?" Roxas demanded, throwing the Keyblade away. It reappeared in his hands. Roxas had anger issues.

"Number thirteen," said Axel. "Roxas. The Keyblade's chosen one."

Axel remained in fighting stance.

"Okay, fine! You asked for it!"

Riku ignored the fight, focused on cracking into the system. Sometime through it, DiZ appeared within the computer, only DiZ was still standing beside him. The projection must have worked. He motioned for Riku to move from the computer, so he stood, choosing a spot behind DiZ; Riku sighed. He only needed to watch now.

"So it was you," said Axel, noting DiZ's presence.

The look on Roxas's face as he stared at DiZ was priceless. Riku was sure Sora would make the same astonished face if a caped man with a bandaged face ever showed up on Destiny Islands. Axel, however, glowered, still in fighting stance, and threw both chakrams at DiZ. They rebounded when they neared off some invisible wall. DiZ seemed unconcerned about the attack. He turned away.

"Roxas, this man speaks nonsense!" said DiZ.

"Roxas, don't let him deceive you!" said Axel.

"Roxas!"

"Roxas!"

Axel and the projection continued to call out Roxas's name. He back away, and from the look of it, on the brink of losing his mind. DiZ typed away at the computer, attempting to delete the projection as Roxas covered his ears, muttering his friends' names under his breath as if to keep his focus and block out the weird things happening to him.

"What's going on?" said Riku.

"He's trying to expel the projection and that Organization fool from the system. He's trying to make it all go right," said DiZ.

"Is it working?"

Roxas shouted his friends' names, face toward the sky. The projection and Axel were gone. Everything unfroze, and Vivi was back to normal.

"Yes," said DiZ.

-----0-----

Riku thought Axel would be the high point of the day. He was calm when Naminé brought lunch around mid-afternoon, and calmed further when she briefly touched his shoulder and offered her apologies. Roxas won the match against Setzer and obtained this lame trophy with four little crystals on it. Late afternoon, Roxas and his friends went to the clock tower where Roxas proceeded to disassemble the lame trophy, giving one of each crystal to his friends.

They did this bizarre little thing where they all held them up the light like sun shining through a colored, semi-transparent rock was the most fascinating thing in the world. Riku imagined Twilight Town ranked high in the worst world to originate from ever. His suspicions were only confirmed when Olette gave them each a sea-salt ice cream bar.

It all happened so fast Riku never saw it coming. One second Roxas was sitting there accepting his ice cream and looking at the light through his stupid blue crystal, and then he was standing, teetering on the edge of the clock tower. He fell, and Riku was only aware of one thing. If he hit bottom, he was dead, and if he was dead, no Sora.

But Roxas didn't fall fast. His speed slowed, almost graceful, and thoughts of Naminé drifted through his mind. DiZ didn't even move, didn't press any keys as he watched with a look of high interest—no worry. Then the most unexpected voice made itself present.

"Who are you?" she said. "And that's not my name. I'm Kairi."

It resonated strong with Sora's heart. His percentage went up by two in that second. Roxas's speed slowed further.

"Kairi . . ." said Roxas. "I know you. You're that girl he likes."

"Who?" said Kairi. "Please, a name!"

Riku stared, unable to move as Kairi and Roxas communicated through the system in a way that made DiZ actually cock his head to the side in intrigue. The reality of her words only cut deeper. She couldn't remember Sora, either, but Sora remembered her. His progress climbed again.

"I'm Roxas."

"Okay, Roxas, but can you tell me _his_ name?"

Riku couldn't stop the snicker. Kairi got right to the point, didn't she?

"You don't remember my name? Thanks a lot, Kairi."

Riku could've fainted dead away. DiZ clicked at the keyboard.

"Get into the system," said DiZ. "I'll have Naminé modify his memory. Doubtless he'll survive the fall, but do get him home, won't you?"

Riku gave the screens a longing look, no longer able to see what words passed between Kairi, Roxas, and Sora. He walked to the data machine. Get Roxas home. He had a job to do, but that didn't stop the voice in the back of his mind whispering to him. That was Sora's voice. That was what Sora sounded like. It was the first time he had heard it since the door to darkness closed with him behind it.

With Roxas back at home and the memories of Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette modified, Riku walked into the computer room, tossing the blue crystal. He wasn't quite sure why he nabbed the crystal. Maybe it just got on his nerves. Maybe he just wanted Roxas to have it back once he was part of Sora again. The computer announced Sora's progress had climbed to seventy-nine percent—thirty-one percentiles in a day.

"His progress is astounding," said DiZ.

"So, what happened?"

Riku caught the crystal, paused, and slid it in the munny pouch he refused to delete, keeping it out of DiZ's view.

"Naminé's encounter with Roxas put his heart in contact with Kairi's. And that, in turn, affected Sora. You see?"

"Naminé . . ." said Riku. "She's a wonder."

"She wasn't born like other Nobodies. She can interfere with the hearts and memories of Sora and those aligned with him."

Yes, Riku knew this. Sometimes he thought DiZ just liked to show off how much he knew about everything.

"But whose Nobody is she?"

"I could tell you . . . But first, perhaps you could tell me your true name?"

Riku was thrown. There had been so much going on the past few days that he hardly had time to think about the Ansem debacle. He just knew to keep his hood up and ignore the voice. They were just talking about Roxas. Axel actually talked to Roxas today, and then the fall off the clock tower . . . it was all so much.

It had to come to this eventually, though, didn't it? What was his true name? The answer that most easily came to his lips was Riku, but that wasn't who he was. Not to the outside world. Even Cloud could hear the difference in the voice, see the difference in appearance. He was Riku on the inside, but on the outside . . . he just wasn't Riku anymore, couldn't hide this anymore.

Maybe it was just that day. Maybe it was the whole week. Maybe this was going to be how he was forever, thrown off his game just when he thought there was a routine to fall into.

Riku took down the hood, and the answer slid off his tongue with more ease than he ever thought possible.

"It's Ansem."

DiZ smiled. He had the audacity to laugh.

"It's an honor, Ansem!"

Riku felt that somehow he missed the joke.

* * *

**_Riku did not give me trouble. Good boy._**

**_Replies next time. I am horribly depressed. I want CloudxRiku to read, but LeonxRiku (and the dreaded RikuxSora, of course) seems to be where it's at these days, so alas..._**

**_I could write more, but it just requires too much brainpower._**

**_Off to get out of my pajamas. One should not spend eight waking hours in their pajamas on one's day off. Think I may also plot a short. Something funny. I could use funny right now._**

**_Please excuse me. There is nothing really wrong. Am just not in a good effing mood today._**

**_All my love._**

**_-D_**


	62. Resolution

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **062. Rules

**Word Count**: 8,199

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Despite himself, Cloud's tired of giving up. Leon has a few rules for Zack. Zack is more trouble than he's worth. What does this all have to do with Riku, again?

**Disclaimer**: Kingdom Hearts and the characters contained within (and, you know, all this Final Fantasy stuff I've been using, too) is property of Square Enix, Disney, and probably a bunch of other obscenely wealthy folk/corporations. As such, I am making no profit off this story. It is simply a product of an overactive imagination and a healthy dose of fangirl delusion.

* * *

**_Step Sixty-Two: Resolution_**

Cloud woke up before the sun rose to a slight throbbing in his left thigh and a slender, calloused, long-fingered hand draped across his face. He groaned, shoved the hand away, and turned his face to the side. Next to him, Leon muttered something, readjusted his position, and his arm swung out, clubbing Cloud in the cheek. He winced and brought his fingers to tenderly trace his bruised cheekbone. A glare shot from his eyes to Leon's figure buried underneath the blankets and silhouetted against the dim light of the night sky that gently billowed through the open window. Cloud snatched Leon's wrist from where it landed on his shoulder and threw it back toward the other man's body.

"Keep your fucking hands to yourself, Leonheart," Cloud mumbled.

He turned on his side and shivered a little, realizing that sometime during the course of sleep, Leon had stolen all of the blankets. He rolled back over and groped blindly through the dark for the material, and when he found it, tugged and grunted. It was securely trapped between Leon's hip and the mattress. Cloud tugged harder, but Leon apparently wasn't having any of this. His hand shot out again, awkwardly aimed toward the offending pull that threatened to tear apart the cocoon sleep wrapped him in. The blow landed on Cloud's jaw.

"Motherfucker!"

Cloud sat up, groaning. He opened his mouth as far as he could and rotated his jaw a few times. His fingers gingerly brushed the spot where Leon's fist had landed. Across the room Zack half-sat up in his bed.

"What the hell's going on?" said Zack.

"Leon's abusing me in his sleep."

"Oh."

Zack snickered for a few second and slumped back against his pillow. A light snore sounded. Cloud rolled his eyes. He returned his attention to Leon, still wrapped happily in the blankets Cloud desperately wanted to stave off the goose bumps that prickled on his exposed skin. He shivered again and frowned. If he could just get Leon to roll this way a little . . .

Cloud got up and rounded the bed. He peered down at Leon's lax, sleeping face, partially amazed that Leon could ever look so peaceful. At least one of them could be in happy dreamland right now. Cloud sighed. Zack was going to die for forcing Leon into his bed. He reached out one hand and gave Leon a hesitant poke in the arm. When Leon did not retaliate, Cloud gave him a slightly rough shove. Leon muttered something unintelligible and rolled over, wrapping the blanket tighter around his body.

By this time, a faint, orange light started to shine through the window and the softly billowing curtains. Cloud turned his head toward the source and grumbled at the sun. Tifa would be awake soon, after Tifa would be the kids, and then maybe Zack. Leon had a tendency to wake early in the morning, but this was probably the first time he slept since the long trip on the Gummi to Gaea from Hollow Bastion. At any rate, he didn't seem interested in waking any time soon. Cloud slept until noon if he could get away with it, which meant he should still have six or so hours of blissfully uninterrupted sleep. Leon, however, had apparently found new and fun ways to deprive Cloud of this unconscious state. He hoped this did not continue when he finally returned home.

Cloud yawned. This was getting ridiculous. He was tired, cold, and cranky. There was a part of him that ordinarily would have just shut the window and hoped for the best, but all those years with Zack dead did not erase the memories. They dated for years. Cloud knew better than to close a window around Zack. Unless it was snowing or raining in on something important Zack would be up within five minutes complaining of poor air circulation, the room feeling stuffy, and that he couldn't breathe right. The window would be open again in less than six minutes. Six minutes did not equate to six hours of uninterrupted rest.

Cloud huffed. He loved Leon, but he didn't love him enough to lose sleep. He also didn't love him enough to climb into Zack's bed, because while Riku would never have to know Cloud would, and Zack would, and that was just way too weird. Cloud nodded a little to affirm that this was the right choice. He worked out the folds and twists of the material until he found the blanket's edge. Working his way up, he fisted it by Leon's hip in one hand. In the other, he gripped Leon's shoulder, and hoping that he wouldn't end up with a black eye, rolled Leon over once.

That wasn't so bad. Leon didn't attack at least. Cloud took another breath. One more roll ought to do it. He released the previous grip on the blanket and moved it up close to Leon's hip again. Cloud gripped him by the shoulder, gave him a gentle shove, and rolled him over. Right off the bed. Taking most of the blankets with him.

The resulting crash was followed by Zack shooting up, looking wildly around the room, and snatching the Buster Sword as he mumbled something about Sephiroth. Leon snarled, shooting off the most profane of curse words in half-sentences that didn't make sense. Tifa appeared in the doorway, panic-stricken. She took one look at Leon tangled on the floor, Zack waving around his sword, and Cloud's guilty, wide-eyed expression as he fisted one pitiful sheet.

"I don't even want to know," she said, and then she was gone again.

"What the fuck?!" said Leon. It was the first truly coherent thing he'd said. Cloud roughly shoved the sheet he was holding away.

Zack sighed. He dropped the Buster Sword to the floor and fell back on the bed, deeply exhaling.

"So thought I was back there in Nibelheim for a second," said Zack.

Across the bed, Cloud saw Leon struggle to his feet, trying to shake the blanket off, but it was twisted around his ankle. He stumbled several times, still cursing, before falling back on the bed. He grabbed the blanket, ripped it off, and threw it across the room. His hand moved to rub his head.

"What the fuck just happened?" said Leon.

Cloud bit his lip.

"You rolled off the bed."

Leon looked up and blinked a few times as if he was not seeing quite right yet. His head swiveled round, gaze landing on Cloud. He squinted.

"What time is it?"

Cloud shrugged.

"Don't know. Sun's just coming up."

"What the hell are you doing up already?"

"What?" said Zack. "Spiky still not managing to crawl out of bed until half the day's already gone?"

"What? He was always like that?" said Leon.

Leon and Zack both spoke in heavy, sleep-induced slurs.

"Yeah. Just give him a kick, call 'im grunt, and tell him he's late and that Sephiroth's looking for him. Always worked in SOLDIER."

"Sephiroth scared the crap out of me, okay?" said Cloud. "For good reason. He proved my fears right."

"That doesn't answer my question," said Leon.

"Oh," said Cloud. "You woke me. When you fell off the bed."

Leon tried to raise an eyebrow. Considering his facial muscles weren't cooperating with him just yet, both eyebrows went up instead. His eyes were still squinted and half-shut.

"Really? I was under the impression you could sleep through anything."

"Usually, just . . . restless night."

"Must've been," said Zack. "I could've sworn you went to sleep on opposite sides."

Zack's eyes were shut as he said this and he rubbed at his forehead. Cloud frowned. He was far too alert, noticing details like that when he could hardly keep his eyes open.

"Yeah," said Leon. "Me too. What the fuck . . . I've never rolled off the bed before."

"Except when you were a kid," said Zack. "Do you remember that time I had to clean up your knee after you rolled off the top bunk?"

"What?"

"It was the first night you got moved up in the same room with me and Spiky, and you weren't used to sleeping on bunk beds. You rolled off and scraped your knee all up. You were all crying and bleeding. I think you were seven."

"How can you think this clearly at this time of morning?" said Cloud.

"Not everyone sleeps until noon, Cloud," said Leon.

"You tell 'im, Squally."

"Don't call me Squally."

"You both can barely keep your eyes open!" said Cloud.

"Well I did wake up rather abruptly," said Leon. "It came as a bit of a shock."

"And I'm just trying to calm down," said Zack. "Man, my heart is going."

"I just can't believe I fell off the bed."

"It was an accident, okay?" said Cloud. "I didn't mean to. You just kind of . . . fell."

"What do you mean it was an accident?"

"I was trying to get the blanket, and . . . I was cold! And you were hogging all the blankets! And beating me up when I tried to get them back! I didn't mean to . . ."

"You _pushed_ me?"

Zack snorted.

"I just . . . it was an accident, okay?"

"I just love us, don't you?" said Zack. "We just love each other so much. We have these great little morning wake-up calls. You guys are the best. I want you to know that. Other people should be jealous to have the loving friendship we all do."

"I can't believe you pushed me!" said Leon.

"I didn't mean to!"

"And we're all so considerate of each other."

"What the hell are you going on about?" said Cloud.

"Yeah," said Leon. "Shut the fuck up, Fair."

"Calm yourself, Squally. I was just expressing my adoration for how well we treat each other. It's almost like we care."

"Don't call me Squally!"

"But you look so cute all pissed off like that, Squally."

Zack cracked an eye open and rolled it around until it landed on Leon. He grinned.

"How did you put up with him?" said Leon.

"Oh, Spiky's not so bad once you get him liquored up and into bed. He must really like you, though, Squally. He never pushed me out."

"Cloud's not exactly the person I meant," said Leon.

"It was an accident!" said Cloud.

"Let's not have a repeat performance of that, okay?"

"I didn't mean to! You were beating me!"

"I told you I like my personal space."

"I didn't know your personal space meant an entire full-sized bed."

"Now you do. Should've let me sleep on the floor."

"He did try to rectify that," said Zack. "You ended up there, anyway."

"I wasn't the one who forced you off the floor," said Cloud. "That was all Zack."

"As much as I adore these little chats wherein we all point fingers and call each other names, I gotta piss," said Zack. "Then I'm going to stuff my face. Meet you downstairs."

"Thanks for the newsflash," said Cloud.

"No problem. Watch Squally while I'm gone. Don't make him cry."

Leon kicked Zack in the ass on his way out.

-----0-----

Tifa really didn't want to know what had happened upstairs, not even when Zack tried to explain. Vincent arrived sometime before noon, gave Tifa a short kiss, and went straight to bed, only acknowledging the two new presences in the bar with a short nod to both Cloud and Leon. Reno called three times, all of which Cloud ignored. After lunch, Tifa forced Zack, Leon, and Cloud outside to play with Marlene and Denzel.

"She's been bugging me about when you'd get the time," said Tifa, her gaze directed pointedly at Cloud. "If you aren't going to call Reno yet, I'd say you have the time."

It was fun, though. Cloud at least had a great time watching Marlene beg Leon for piggyback rides. He had an especially fun time when Marlene caught on to Zack's little joke and decided she thought Squally was a cute nickname for Leon, too. The best part of it was that Leon was such a softie when it came to small children that he couldn't even argue with her. It didn't stop him arguing with Zack.

Denzel didn't do a whole lot of playing. He mostly sat by Cloud and occasionally touched his fingertips to his forehead, wincing. They watched together as Zack, Leon, and Marlene raced around an obstacle course Zack dreamed up, and Cloud put an arm around Denzel, pulling him close to his side. He smoothed his hand over the boy's hair. They said nothing.

Tifa sent Denzel up to bed after dinner, citing that he needed rest. Marlene followed.

"She's been keeping a close eye on him," said Tifa. "Won't let him out of her sight for long."

"He's a really sick little boy, isn't he?" said Leon.

"It's only going to get worse," said Zack. "The stigma gets pretty ugly."

Tifa nodded a little. She started to collect the dishes around the table. Cloud jumped up to join her.

"Let me help you out with that," said Cloud.

"Since when did you take an interest in cleaning up after yourself?" said Leon.

"Since we infringed on her place, ate her food, and made her worry."

"That's almost kind of you," said Tifa.

"You made her worry," said Leon. "She doesn't even want me here."

"That's not true; I was surprised."

Tifa batted Leon lightly over the head and carried the dishes into the back for washing. Cloud grinned at her and reached across the table for one of the serving dishes. Zack lightly grabbed his left arm and turned it over.

"What the hell happened to you?"

Cloud looked down. On his forearm was a large but faint bruise. Cloud shook his head.

"Don't know. Probably playing with the kids."

"Does it hurt?"

"Obviously not since I didn't notice it."

"What about what I press on it?"

Zack gently pushed on the discolored area. Cloud shook his head again.

"It's a little tender, but it doesn't hurt. Why?"

"Just curious. What about when I do this?"

Zack took the skin between his index finger and thumb and pinched the bruised area. Cloud winced and jerked his arm away, almost dropping the plates balanced in his other hand. He pulled his left arm into his body and scowled.

"What the hell did you do that for?"

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes!"

"Oh. Okay. What do you think, Squally?"

Zack proceeded to pinch Leon. Leon smacked him over the head.

"Keep your fucking hands off me, Fair."

"Did it hurt?"

"Go fuck yourself."

"I didn't pinch that hard."

This time Zack actually did it to himself. He yelped.

"Shit," he said, laughing. "That _does_ hurt."

"You're such a freak," said Leon.

"What's going on in here?" said Tifa as she walked back into the room and grabbed the serving dish Cloud had been reaching for.

"Zack's abusing us," said Cloud.

"And himself," said Leon.

"Tifa, can I pinch you?" said Zack.

"If you want me to drop this on your head," said Tifa. She waved the heavy, porcelain dish at him. Zack nodded.

"Okay. Just thought I'd ask."

-----0-----

The day ended like the first except this time Cloud offered to sleep on the floor and Zack made no attempts to stop him. He did, however, make off-hand comments about Leon being so miserable because he hadn't gotten laid in ages, and _that_ probably had to do with his required personal space in bed. Zack made an effort to throw the name Squally in at least every other sentence. By the end of the night, Cloud thought Zack just might wake to the Gunblade's wrath.

The following day was spent helping Tifa around the bar with much-needed housekeeping that she hadn't had the time to attend to since Denzel came down with the stigma. Marlene hung around Denzel's bed most of the day, but was persuaded out of the room when Denzel felt well enough to visit with Leon, Zack, and Cloud again. It was almost adorable the way Denzel leaned his head against Leon's shoulder, and Leon only smiled down at him giving gentle, reassuring hugs and soft pats on the back.

While Denzel had taken to Leon back in Hollow Bastion and continued to seek comfort from him in this sorry state, Marlene had developed a strong liking for Zack. She beamed at him, giggles growing out of control, and Tifa made sweet jokes about her little crush. Cloud swore he overheard Marlene telling Zack at one point that she wanted to marry him someday.

Cloud stood by Tifa for some time, watching the exchanges that occurred between Marlene and Zack. A gentle, reluctant smile tugged at his lips no matter how much Cloud tried to fight it. The pressure eased in his chest. Zack really was a great guy. He didn't deserve what had happened to him—not to die, and not to come back from the dead to such a twisted romantic entanglement. There was a time when Cloud swore to Zack that if they lost each other, he would never be able to move on. He swore he'd be lost forever and Zack had told him that was self-abusive to close off a heart like that. He said they were in a war and that there was a real possibility of death. He made Cloud promise that if he died, Cloud would move on and find love again. Cloud had promised then, but he never expected it to happen.

It actually hurt back then to think that Zack wanted him to move on if he died. It hurt to think that if he died, Zack might move on and fall in love with someone else. He told Zack what he wanted to hear, but when Zack did go Cloud spent years telling himself that if he had just been stronger maybe he could have saved him. If he hadn't fallen to the darkness then there would have never been a reason to hold them in Shinra mansion, experimenting with the darkness, injecting whatever they retrieved from Cloud's heart into Sephiroth. He would have never gotten Mako poisoning. He was absolutely no help to Zack that night outside of Midgar when the SOLDIER sniper shot him down. Cloud blocked it from his memory, couldn't even recall Zack's existence for ages, and when he did and realized what had happened . . .

It was the absolute worst pain of his life up until that point. It was bigger than Sephiroth, bigger than his home world's destruction, bigger than the Heartless. Cloud had cried for days, unwilling to go anywhere or do anything until he properly repented. He visited the spot where Zack fell. Kept the Buster sword close to his side and offered silent prayers to Zack, begging to keep him safe as he directed his eyes toward the Lifestream. He went after Sephiroth with a new vengeance, but no matter what he did, the darkness festered inside of him. He couldn't find the light. Nothing in his world would ever be right again.

The memories were still there like a hazy, long-forgotten dream. It was so long ago that he and Zack were still together it almost felt as if it weren't real—as if it were from another life that Cloud couldn't believe he had led. He was a different person then. Zack made comments that Cloud hadn't changed, but Cloud had to disagree with him. When Zack died was when this self-abuse started. He'd always been insecure, but he had never felt like a true failure until that day he realized Zack was gone. He didn't try to push people away for their own safety until then. He had smiled a lot. He and Zack rolled off smart-ass banter without really thinking about it. Sephiroth had seemed cool then, and someone to be emulated. Cloud looked for examples in people more powerful, more personable, and stronger than he.

After Zack was gone, Cloud stopped smiling. He stopped laughing. He looked no where for examples because everywhere he searched seemed empty. Tifa and Yuffie dragged him back to Traverse Town and dropped him there. Cid and Vincent said it was for the best, because Cloud couldn't spend the rest of his life wasting away over his dead lover. Even that couldn't alter his line of thinking. Aerith's offered words of comfort were too painful. Seeing Leon again with a new name and looking so much older than the little boy left behind in Hollow Bastion only reminded him of how much time had gone by. He couldn't stop the rush of thoughts that tormented him and further soiled his heart. Cloud left almost as soon as he arrived, still in search of Sephiroth, still in search of something to fill the void.

As he looked back on it, Cloud realized he had almost been a machine. He slept when he needed to. He ate when he needed to. He listened to what his friends had to say, but he pulled away and refused to let anyone get close. Aerith got in the most because she never pushed too hard except when Cloud wanted to hear it, but even that wasn't close to what he had before. He ruthlessly sought out Sephiroth, the only person to still spark emotion in him when he closed himself off to the unbearable pain.

Sephiroth's continued existence was a reason to keep going back then. Was Sephiroth still alive, still going because Cloud had never wanted to find his light? Had he come to depend upon Sephiroth and the darkness for motivation to keep living? Without them, he was sure to have just given up on life, but there was a part of the back of his closed-off heart that knew Zack would be disappointed if he gave up with things the way they were so Cloud kept going. It was in this realization that Cloud wondered if that was why he could never find his light. Perhaps he had never really wanted to.

Until Riku, that was. Until he signed a contract with Hades, went home to Hollow Bastion to meet with Hades' superior, and saw the silver-haired boy with his unyielding, pained eyes that looked just as lost as he was. Cloud had thought he was bothered by Riku's age and that he shouldn't be caught up with Heartless so young, but Cloud was fourteen when he joined SOLDIER. It wasn't Riku's age, really. It was his eyes and that shared pain that so clearly reflected in them. It was his eyes that brought Cloud back to him for a second meeting. It was Riku's confusion and pain that kept Cloud going. Eventually it was Riku who lit emotion in him again, and Riku who on that first day they met sparked the first real smile in ages, offered only because Cloud knew back then it was all he had to give.

Over time Cloud found himself caring again. He found hope, he found light, and it was Riku's struggle with darkness that became the main motivation. It was their similarities that drew them together, and their differences that forced Cloud to move. He found himself laughing, smiling, making jokes again. He established a new kinship with Leon. Cloud sought Aerith out. Zack became a little less painful every day he spent with Riku as their bond grew to something bigger than Zack had ever been. He had known Zack his whole life, and their love grew from an innocent place, but the darkness still crept in. When Riku came along, even the darkness couldn't touch him as it once had.

More than anything right now as Cloud watched Zack laugh and twirl Marlene around the empty tables in the bar he wanted to talk to Riku. He wanted to see his eyes again, hear his voice, but it was impossible. Riku was Ansem now. He had failed again, only this time . . . Cloud had changed. He had made an effort to keep things going.

Cloud bowed his head for a moment and closed his eyes. Things couldn't keep going on this way.

He would give it a few days to collect his thoughts. He could call Reno, get things straightened out, and once things felt a little less awkward with Zack, Cloud would tell him everything. He wasn't going to lose Riku over the Ansem appearance even if it had to be that way his entire life. This was Riku inside no matter how he looked on the outside. It was still his Riku, and nothing was going to take him away, too. He murmured this silent promise to himself under his breath as he felt a strong sense of conviction stir in his chest.

He had never thought he'd get over Zack. He was happy Zack was back, but it only made it more final that this chapter of his life needed to close. That pain had been so encompassing, but he would not endure it again. Only one good thing had come of it. It led to Riku. Without Riku, Cloud was sure he would die.

"They're cute, aren't they?" said Tifa, pointing to Zack and Marlene.

Cloud blinked and looked up. He grinned.

"Sure are."

"I think that spot is clean enough now."

Cloud looked down to where he'd been wiping the same spot on the counter over and over through his reverie. He grinned.

"You sure? I think a few more swipes ought to really do it."

Tifa grinned and gave a playful shove.

"So what did you find so interesting over there?" Tifa winked at him. "He's great, isn't he?"

"Who? Zack?"

"Yes, Zack."

Cloud nodded.

"Yeah, he is."

"I'm really happy he's back. I really missed him. You did too, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. Zack was everything to me. Losing him was the hardest thing I ever had to do."

"I know. He really missed you, too, you know?"

"I know."

"So . . .? Is there anything going on I should know about?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. I loved him. I still love him in a way—he was my first love, but . . ."

"But . . .? What else is there to it? You said it yourself. Zack was everything to you. I've never seen someone as heartbroken as you were when he died. Now he's back, and that just doesn't happen. It's like fate."

Cloud shook his head.

"I'm happy Zack's back. I really missed him with my whole heart, but now . . ."

"Please don't tell me Riku."

Cloud put the cloth down. He shrugged and met her eyes, offering a gentle smile.

"I love him more than I've ever loved another person. Ever. Zack is great, and I hope we can get back what we lost, but not in that relationship context. I want to be his friend. I want to marry Riku. Zack's amazing; it's just over."

Tifa sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked back to Zack and Marlene.

"There's nothing I can say, is there?"

"Zack will get over it, too. If I did, he can."

"I guess you're right." Tifa sighed. She glanced at Cloud, dropped her head a little, and lightly touched Cloud's forearm. "I hope everything works out for you. It may not be what I want to happen, but I can see how much you love him. I don't want to see you hurt again."

Cloud nodded. He covered Tifa's hand with his own.

"Thank you." Cloud locked eyes with her. "I love you, Tifa."

Tifa raised her eyebrows and her lips slightly parted. She smiled.

"I love you, too."

-----0-----

It was the day following Cloud's almost silent vow to himself and Riku. He, Zack, and Leon had spent the entire duration of the morning lounging around the bedroom talking about absolutely nothing for hours. Leon filled Zack in on the workings of Hollow Bastion and the restoration and Zack offered up ideas as they both made jokes about Cloud's inability to help with anything. During one of these un-amusing one-liners, Cloud's phone rang, and he chucked it under the bed offering nothing but, "Reno," as an explanation.

"Are you ever going to call him?" said Zack.

"Since that's why you're here," said Leon. "Or at least his calls are the reason you're here."

"I don't want to deal with him yet," said Cloud. "I've still got a lot on my mind, and it's my experience that the more I have on my mind, the harder a time I have keeping Sephiroth dead. I don't want to run into this Kadaj guy and his little gang with my head messed up like it is right now."

"They'll just mess with your head, anyway," said Zack. "And call you brother."

"What _are_ they, anyway?"

"I have no idea, but they look like Sephiroth punched out a couple of kids on his own."

"You mean like Riku?" said Leon, snorting.

"Riku does not look like Sephiroth," said Cloud.

"Yes, he does."

"Riku looks like Sephiroth?" said Zack. "Why did no one tell me this sooner? He's not involved with the Jenova project, is he?"

"No," said Cloud. "He's not, and he doesn't look like Sephiroth."

"He does," said Leon.

"Does he?" said Zack.

"Yeah."

Zack cracked up laughing.

"So what's up with that? Were you harboring a crush on Sephiroth that I didn't know about when we were dating? Is that what your obsession with being like Sephiroth really had to do with?"

"I did not have a crush on Sephiroth, and I was not obsessed with him, okay? I just looked up to him. He was my hero."

Leon sniggered.

"That never stops being funny. The irony . . ."

Zack laughed.

"I know! I remember Nibelheim and all, but Sephiroth was really cool before that. I still can't believe he's out there right now, running around and out of his freaking mind. I can't really believe he _is_ still out of his mind over Jenova after all this time. It's gotta be that cells in the fetus thing, or me and Spiky would be nuts too. Some dad he had." Zack snorted. "Makes you thankful to be an orphan, doesn't it?"

"I'm not entirely convinced you two aren't crazy," said Leon.

Zack frowned.

"Come on, Squally, why you gotta be like that?"

"I'm going to take a shower," said Cloud. "Talk about Riku's resemblance to Sephiroth to your hearts' content."

"I told you he looks like him," said Leon.

"We will," said Zack.

Cloud shook his head and despite himself, laughed a little as he walked out of the room and down the hallway toward the bathroom. As his hand fell to the doorknob, Cloud groaned and turned back toward the room, remembering that he had not brought any clothing with him. This ordinarily wouldn't have been a problem as he never had qualms about walking around in only a towel with Leon, but Zack couldn't be trusted. Zack couldn't be trusted farther than Cloud could throw him.

He turned back, nearing the cracked bedroom door and paused as Zack's voice floated through the door.

"I don't get what the big deal is," said Zack. "I'm not going to do anything."

"I just want to make sure that things aren't going to turn to hell once I'm not here to mediate," said Leon. "I know it's easier on him to have me around as a buffer, but once I'm gone . . ."

"I _get_ that he's got a boyfriend, okay?"

"I just want to make sure there are some ground rules. Things are going to get more awkward when it's just the two of you. Don't tell me you don't expect it to."

"I know it's going to, but I'm not going to do anything rash about it. I don't want to ruin anything for him. I love Cloud."

"That's what I'm worried about."

"I already told him that I'm not going to try and steal him back. I know it's not going to work so there's no point in trying."

"There's the problem right there. There's no point so why try isn't exactly the same as I want to move on because it's over."

"Well it's not like I want to get over him. I do want him. I want him back more than I can possibly explain. It's not even normal how I lost him. As far as I'm concerned, I shouldn't have even lost him in the first place. It's not over for me. It may be for him but I'm still in love with him."

"How am I supposed to be comfortable leaving you to each other knowing that?"

"You don't have to be comfortable leaving us to each other. If Cloud's as in love with this Riku kid as he says he is, then I don't have a chance. That fucking hurts, but it doesn't mean that you need to be around to make sure we're all right. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate you here. I like seeing you again and it's great to have you around, but we'll be all right on our own. Don't stay just because you feel you need to make sure I don't intervene in this picture perfect romance."

Leon laughed.

"Cloud and Riku are no picture perfect romance, but they're . . . there's something really special about them. They really love each other. They're good for each other. They understand each other in a way I don't think anyone else ever could."

"You really have made yourself a part of their relationship, haven't you?"

"I . . . I don't know. Cloud just threw all of his conflictions about Riku on me right from the beginning, and I've been there ever since. If something goes wrong, I hear about it right away, and then when Riku lived with us, we . . . we got close. And then I heard about Cloud from him. He's really a great guy. If he hadn't stolen your boyfriend, you'd probably like him."

Cloud walked closer to the room and gently eased the crack in the door farther open, careful not to make a sound. He caught sight of Zack and Leon facing each other on the bed closest to the window—Zack's bed. Leon was smiling in a strange way, his face directed toward the ground. Zack raised his eyebrows.

"He's that great, huh?"

Leon's eyes darkened. His smile faded.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't even suggest it."

Zack grinned.

"You like him. You like him so much you knew what I was thinking."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do. You like Riku. That's why you're so defensive. Cloud was right, wasn't he?"

"I don't like Riku. I mean, I do, but not like you're suggesting."

"No, really, this is perfect. You can steal Riku for yourself, and then I can take poor, brokenhearted Cloud for myself, and everyone wins."

"How, exactly, do Riku and Cloud win?"

Zack sniggered.

"I knew you liked him."

"Whatever . . . I don't . . . I don't know if I like him, okay? It's not exactly an unappealing idea, but it's not something that I can even realistically imagine either. Maybe if he weren't with Cloud, but I couldn't even consider it. At least not until everyone started saying I do . . ."

"Cloud constitutes as everyone?"

"Cloud, Aerith . . ."

"Aerith thinks you like him? You may as well be in love."

"Yuffie, Riku . . ."

"Riku!? Riku thinks you like him?"

"Not exactly, just . . . Never mind. Anyway, even if I did like him, I would never be as good for him as Cloud is. And if Cloud is as determined as he seems, then you can never be as good for him as Riku is. They belong together. I'm not going to mess that up. I'm not going to let you mess that up."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"It's true. If you saw them together, you'd get it, too."

"Or you've just given up on Riku and resigned yourself to this line of thinking."

"Or you should just give up on Cloud. He's not backing down, and no one will thank you for getting him riled up and confused."

"Don't worry, Squally. I'll take care of this Riku thing for you."

"That's not even funny, Zack."

Zack sighed.

"I'm kidding, okay? I already told you that I won't do anything. It's pointless. Cloud's a stubborn bastard. He's not giving up on him and I know that. I wish I could be like you and resigned to my misery."

"I'm not in misery. I don't even know if I like him or not. I know Riku and Cloud belong together, so I've never really even entertained the idea. I never could."

"You're a better man than I am."

"I've just seen them together. I didn't even meet Riku until long after Cloud was firmly settled on him."

"Exactly. You never had him, so of course you can be resigned to your misery."

"I know it's rough. I don't know if I could handle what you're going through."

Zack shrugged.

"Cloud has it rough, too, I guess. I don't want it to be like this."

"Neither does he, but he doesn't wish you were dead again, either."

"I just wish it didn't have to happen this way."

"I know, but things happen, and all we can really do is try to keep going. Maybe we can even make things better than before if we try our hardest. Nothing gets better by just wishing things were different. You have to take action to make things get better."

"That was very sage-like of you, Squally."

"Aerith is full of deep insights, which she likes to throw in my direction with obnoxious frequency." Leon sighed. "Hey, don't say anything about this to Cloud, okay?"

Zack snorted.

"Are you kidding? I'm upset, but I'm not stupid."

Cloud took a deep breath and slowly back away from the door. He pressed his back against the wall and closed his eyes. Things had just started to settle. He had just started to collect all the pieces. Cloud thought Leon was being ridiculous, worrying over what would happen when he left, but now . . . What was he going to do without Leon? And Leon did . . . could . . . might have, in an alternate reality, actually had feelings for Riku. But he said they belonged together, and . . .

Cloud couldn't even properly connect all the thoughts spinning through his head. He couldn't even finish his trains of thought. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. In all honesty, he probably should just accept it for what it was and leave it there. He knew Zack still wanted him, just without that defeated tone to his voice and the resigned look in his eyes. He almost felt vindicated that he hadn't been the only one to think that Leon might care about Riku (especially after all the verbal beating he'd endured since then), but that also meant Leon . . . but he wasn't really hurting, was he? He said he couldn't even entertain the idea.

The door to the bedroom opened and Cloud flattened himself back against the wall. Leon walked into the hallway; his focus immediately fell to Cloud. For a second his eyes flashed panic, and then he shut the door entirely.

"I forgot clothes," said Cloud. "I didn't trust myself in only a towel around Zack."

Leon frowned. He nodded.

"How much did you hear?"

"Pretty much all of it."

Leon nodded. He motioned his head toward the staircase.

"Follow me."

"We really don't have to talk about this."

"Yes, we do."

"No, we don't. I'm fine. Really. I'm just . . . You didn't have to talk to Zack for me. I can take care of this on my own. I . . . I _am _resolved. I'm going to call Riku, tell him everything, and let the pieces fall where they may."

Leon stared at him hard for a second. His frown deepened.

"Listen . . . what Zack was talking about with me and Riku . . ."

"I know nothing's going on. To tell you the truth . . ." Cloud took a breath, trying his best to sort out these thoughts. "It's . . . I'm not threatened. I'm not mad at you. I appreciate everything you've done for us. I appreciate you being there for him, because . . ."

"Because he doesn't have any friends right now. That's what you've been saying from the start."

Cloud grinned.

"Yeah. It's . . . To tell you the truth, I . . . its better that I heard, I think. Knowing . . . I know I've been really horrible about how close you are, and I realize I was an idiot. I know he isn't going anywhere. I think I got so angry back at Christmas because sometimes I think you would take so much better care of him than I do. You were the one noticing he needed clothes when I didn't, and making him food because I'm a disaster in the kitchen, and I hated that. When he let out that piece of Ansem . . . I really felt like I failed him. I've been thinking that you would never let that happen . . ."

"Cloud . . ."

"Wait. Don't. It's just . . . It doesn't matter, does it? He . . . For some reason I will never understand, he picked me. Whether you would have let it happen or not is inconsequential, and this is Riku's battle. He wanted to do it on his own, and if I would've stopped him, he'd only resent me. So I didn't. It happened. And now I think . . . I don't think Riku really wants anyone to step in on anything, so maybe . . ."

"Maybe you belong together."

"I appreciate your presence in his life, but I'm not really worried about what you might have thought of him if he was never my boyfriend, because he is. You've been nothing but a good friend to him, you haven't tried to come between us . . . And if anything . . ." Cloud paused and took a deep breath. He forced himself to meet Leon's eyes. "Back at Christmas, one of things that kept pissing me off was how much attention you were paying him, and all the comments about how we needed to break it up. I thought you were trying to move in on him, but you . . . You were just lonely, weren't you?"

Leon's face didn't change, but his posture slumped a little. Something flickered in his eyes.

"Because . . ." said Cloud, thinking hard about his choice of words. "Because you haven't really had anyone. Not since I've been back, anyway. I never see you with anyone. We all make jokes about Yuffie, but . . . I mean . . . Did you? Ever?"

Leon titled his face toward the floor and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Back in Hollow Bastion after you left. Her name was Rinoa."

"What happened?"

Leon lifted his head and offered an awkward shrug.

"Heartless. It was during the move to Traverse Town. Anyway, she's gone now."

Cloud raised his eyebrows.

"So . . . The Restoration . . ."

"Yeah . . ."

Cloud nodded.

"It gets better."

"I hope so."

"I should really go take my shower. Zack's going to be on me all afternoon about how long it takes me to wash."

Leon offered a small smile.

"You should get on that then."

"Yeah." Cloud turned and took a few steps toward the bathroom. He paused and turned back. Leon was frowning again, staring down at the floor. His arms were still crossed over his chest. "Hey, Lee?"

His head snapped up.

"Yeah?"

"When I get back to Hollow Bastion, I think I want to take a shot at tools again."

Leon's face contorted.

"You don't have to . . ."

"It's not because of you. I've just had enough of giving up on things. Maybe you can help me out in the kitchen, too. Wouldn't want to poison Riku if he gets sick and can't cook or something."

"That's what delivery is for, Cloud."

"Yeah, but I have trouble with cereal."

Leon smiled.

"Okay. But no stoves or hammers without supervision until I say you're ready."

Cloud rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Whatever you say."

-----0-----

Zack, Tifa, Leon, and Cloud sat around a table in the bar, sipping on drinks. It was late afternoon, and Leon was regaling Tifa and Zack with stories about Traverse Town that Cloud had heard once or twice before from an over animated, exuberant Yuffie. Zack was nearly in tears as Leon slid in the ever-popular Yuffie insults, which only became funnier coupled with Tifa's own cracks about Leon and Yuffie being destined for one another. Zack's laughter hit a fever pitch when Leon practically screamed that anyone who would want to date Yuffie had masochistic tendencies.

"Yuffie always was a spitfire," said Zack. "I really liked that girl."

"We like her, too," said Leon. "She just makes it too easy."

"She likes it, too," said Tifa. "She thinks it's funny to drive us all crazy."

"The way she just bounces around . . . she's always happy," said Cloud. "I don't know where she gets the energy."

"Probably the same place Sora does," said Leon. "That kid just doesn't know when to slow down. Remember when Sephiroth was wailing the hell out of him and he just kept marching back in for more?"

Cloud laughed.

"Yeah. Don't mind the bleeding gash on his leg. Cura will take care of that. He's ready for more."

"That kid is vicious. My back was in agony for two days after I fought him and that was with potions and everything."

"Your back? I was limping around for almost an entire day, and I had potions _and_ Mako."

"And the way that kid just talks and talks . . ."

"Oh, I know! First time I met him all I got was question after question . . . He might be nosier than Yuffie."

"I thought you guys couldn't remember Sora?" said Zack, still chuckling.

Leon's and Cloud's laughter sobered up. They exchanged glances.

"When's the last time you talked to Riku?" said Leon.

"Before you got here."

"I have to go."

Leon got to his feet and shoved his chair back. Cloud followed the example.

"What?" said Zack. "Right now? But we were just getting along so well. Making fun of other people instead of each other."

"Leon?" said Tifa. "What's going on?"

"Remember what we told you about no one remembering Sora? He's been asleep, but once he wakes up . . ." said Cloud. "If we remember Sora, that means he's almost back."

"And if Sora's back, I have to be in Hollow Bastion in case he shows up. There's stuff with the Restoration I need to ask him about, and there's no reason why I shouldn't be there. There will be too many awkward questions . . ."

"Sora will ask then, too. At great length."

"I have to get out of here. Now."

"I'll help you get your stuff and take you to the Gummi."

"I'm coming, too!" said Zack. "Tifa, hold the fort down until we get back."

With Leon's stuff collected, Zack jumped on his bike while Cloud and Leon climbed on Fenrir and raced toward the area where both Gummi ships were landed. When they arrived at the sight, Zack, Cloud, and Leon walked toward the hatch.

"At least you know Riku's getting along all right with his goal, right?" said Leon.

Cloud nodded.

"This is good news. Hopefully I'll have some good news soon, too."

Leon paused, and then he wrapped one arm around Cloud's shoulder, dragging him into a hug. He turned and did the same to Zack.

"I'll see you both soon," said Leon. "Take care of yourselves."

"That goes for you, too," said Cloud.

"Yeah. I'm getting Yuffie's number from Tifa, so if you do something stupid, I'll know about it," said Zack. "Watch you step, Squally."

Leon rolled his eyes despite the small grin twisting the corners of his lips upward.

"Whatever."

"I'll call you and let you know how things are going," said Cloud.

Leon nodded and opened the hatch to the Gummi ship.

"I'll be in touch, too. See ya."

"Bye."

"Be a good boy!" said Zack.

Leon waved and disappeared into the ship, closing the door behind him.

* * *

**_Thus ends chapter 62. Whew. That was a long one._**

**_Still working on the FST dilligently. If anyone is good with Photoshop or another smiliar photo program and would like to help out with graphics, please contact me via PM or Email. I have no problem making them, but if anyone wanted to help out it would be appreciated. There's going to be five of them, one for each set of twenty, and I want them to reflect the part of the story that's being covered, so just let me know and we can discuss. If you have anymore songs, please send them this way. Thanks for the response so far. The first sixty parts are really started to get fleshed out, so keep it coming. I'm even listening to things in order now to make sure it doesn't suck. Gaping holes still remain, but what I've got is fantastic (or so I think)._**

**_Thanks for all the reviews._**

**_To those who commented on the Awakening, I did not really think about it until I got there and went, "Damn. Shouldn't have put that off." I didn't expect it to come so fast. Thank you if like the explanation, and if you didn't, more power to you for coming up with your own ideas. I know it was a bitch for me._**

**_Thanks for all the support. I'm going to need it now that I'm over that 50 hump. Only 38 to go. That's right. 38._**

**_On a similar tangent, Parts 81 - 100 have just been plotted for the sake of mapping out the FST. To be a fucking tease, I will tell you that I started speaking out loud to myself through the whole thing about how it's just fantastic. I've finally settled for good on an ending, so from here on out I pretty much know where I'm going. I know who is ending up with who. The frame is there._**

**_Expect more over the weekend. I've got more time than I know what to do with on Saturday. I won't settle for less than two chapters._**

**_May I also tell you that my present to myself for finishing this story is going to be a PSP because I have yet to be able to squeeze it into my budget and I'm going to need it when Crisis Core and Birth by Sleep come out._**

**_I was looking at screencaps for Crisis Core yesterday while working on this chapter and just about squealed myself to death announcing in a high-pitched voice that I need to have this game or I will die. Zack and Cloud. ::swoon:: If I were like any character in this story, I think it's Yuffie._**

**_And that's that before I ramble for years. Off to search for a fight song for Chapter 39 and replace the song that just wasn't perfect for Chapter 10 on the FST._**

**_All my love to everyone who reads this story. You make my migranes worth it._**

**_-D_**


	63. Breathe for Answers

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **063. Pictures

**Word Count**: 4,485

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Strong exhale. Soft inhale. Cycle. Repeat.

**Disclaimer**: I have no affiliation with Kingdom Hearts whatsoever other than I am a super obsessive fangirl. It all belongs to Disney and Square Enix. I've accepted this, and you should, too.

**Author's Note**: For anyone who may have lost track of the timeline like I did before I sat down and mapped it out, chapters 61 and 62 ended with Cloud and Riku on the same day. As Twilight Town Day Five opens, Leon is rushing back to Hollow Bastion. Just thought I ought to clarify that as the matter of a day is highly important at this crux of the story.

* * *

**_Step Sixty-Three: Breathe for Answers_**

His hood was still down exposing a face that was not his own as Riku took the Way to the Dawn in hand and went outside. Night had fallen by now and the moon bathed the lawn with an ethereal, blue-tinged light that was so beautiful it could break your heart. As Riku stepped through this soft haze, his grip around the Keyblade's hilt tightened and he turned his face upward toward the sky, eyes closed.

Strong exhale. Soft inhale. The rush of air through his nostrils carried the clean scent of a post-rainfall. Cycle. Repeat.

Riku opened his eyes, taking in the stars shining their own light and joining with the tragic beauty of the moon. He sighed, straightened his posture, and faced-forward, falling easily into a readied stance. The Way to the Dawn rose and slashed through the air.

Slice. Jab. Parry. Riku allowed his body to move on its own accord, fighting an invisible enemy that he didn't dare to think might be himself. The motions were exacted with grace, flowing into one another like an intricately choreographed dance.

His new limbs did not move with the fluidity Riku once possessed, and so he closed his eyes and did it again. His grip on the Way to the Dawn eased as his wrist loosened, and the Keyblade became an extension of himself. It was impossible to tell if Riku wielded the weapon or if the weapon directed his movements. Slice. Jab. Strong exhale. Soft inhale. Cycle. Repeat.

The Way to the Dawn. The road to dawn. There had been a time when Riku stood in the light, languished in it and loved every second. What had the road to twilight been like? Riku could no longer remember. The road to darkness was much like its reversal. He was alone and empty working for a stranger he didn't entirely trust for the life of his once-best friend. As Maleficent had kept things from him, DiZ refused to disclose his true objective in awakening Sora. At the end of that road to nightfall, Riku was reduced to a prisoner of his own making. He was trapped in his insecurities and defensive thought patterns. He was a prisoner in his own body, appearing to the world as himself, his voice remained, but unable to control the limbs. He could think, but couldn't speak.

Riku thought he must have crossed the bridge over nightfall and toward the dawn the moment his heart fell into the realm of darkness, body separated and gone. For a few blissful months he was able to stay stagnant, not moving forward, but not moving backward either until the heart wrenching pain became too much to bear. Now that he was moving forward again, he was a prisoner of his own making. He was trapped in his penance for what he had done wrong on the other side of night. He was a prisoner in his own body, appearing to the world as Ansem, his voice gone, but able to control the limbs and speech.

In truth, everything about the two situations was the same. He was a prisoner either way, no more free with the control of action and words than he was when Ansem took over. Either way, only his thoughts remained sacred. Only his heart remained clinging to the light and longed to be reunited with wronged friends. His thoughts and heart coincided as they ached for Cloud's touch, his embrace, and soft words of comfort that Riku never deserved.

Slash. Slice. Jab. Parry.

He could picture them all so clearly it ached deep within his chest and traveled to the hollow pit of his stomach. Riku choked on air and his fingers uncurled, dropped the Keyblade, but his knees hit the ground first. Back hunched, Riku pressed his face against the slick, dew-stained grass and pulled the hood over his head. With his palms spread Riku linked his fingers at the back of his neck and took a breath. Strong exhale. Soft inhale.

-----0-----

The following morning went as usual. Riku ignored the presence of his cell phone in the top drawer, not daring to even look at the display as he left his bedroom. DiZ was in the computer room when he arrived. Riku ate his breakfast and drank his coffee as Roxas went through his own morning procedure, showering and dressing before heading to meet Hayner, Pence, and Olette just before noon.

"He seems to remember falling off the station tower," said DiZ. "His heart is so connected to Sora's that Naminé can't properly modify him anymore."

Riku absently nodded. It didn't matter. Sora's restoration had climbed from seventy-nine to eighty-seven percent overnight. Soon enough Roxas would be gone—only a memory to the few who had known him.

Today Olette finally managed to convince the others that with only three days left of summer vacation they needed to complete the summer homework—an independent study assignment. Hayner's resistance to this was a small comfort to Riku, because while Hayner literally wanted to wait until the last second, Riku would have had the assignment done ages ago. They were, at least, not that alike, and perhaps this meant that Riku did not sound as ridiculously moronic as Hayner, even if they did have other things in common. Roxas was troubled by the memory of falling off the station tower, even more troubled that his friends just shrugged it off.

"You wouldn't be here if you did!" said Hayner.

"But man, that was a close one . . ." said Pence.

Riku hated to agree with him, but in a logical world (that wasn't manipulated by some guy with a bandaged face) Hayner had a good point. Roxas remained moody, suggesting that they investigate the Dusks (not that he remembered they were Dusks) and all the strange things happening to him for the assignment. He grew moodier when Hayner shot it down, but then considerably brightened upon learning that his friends had somehow recruited the entire town into the investigation, which was planned for tomorrow. Roxas brightened so much, in fact, that they all had sea-salt ice cream again.

"Do they ever get sick of it?" said Riku.

"I don't," said DiZ.

Riku didn't know how to argue with that. DiZ liking ice cream was weird in and of itself.

In the end they decided to investigate unusual stories about Twilight Town like steps counting differently going up and down which they called the seven wonders. Riku almost snorted. These so-called wonders were nothing more than Rai's stupidity (how that boy put one foot in front of the other was beyond him), glitches in the Twilight Town system, and breaks between the system layers (entry points). It was going to be a dreadfully boring afternoon unless Organization XIII mixed things up. By this point Riku expected that they would.

On the train ride to the Sunset Residential District, Roxas noticed the absence of his Struggle Trophy crystal. His good mood was gone. Riku almost felt bad, but he'd get it back so . . . well . . . Okay. So Riku was a thief.

They arrived in the Sunset District and split up. Roxas and Pence went through the wonders together only to discover just what Riku had known. Rai couldn't count, there were weird glitches, Dusks (disguised as Vivi and other things) were hanging around and Roxas had to fight them, but it wasn't Axel and he called the Keyblade to himself, so even that wasn't all that fascinating. Riku could hardly believe it was only a few days ago that he'd been panicking over only one Dusk in the alternate Twilight Town. DiZ didn't even flinch when a shadow figure of Roxas stepped through a reflective curtain of water.

Wonder number six was all about a ghost train that you could see from Sunset Hill, so the foursome headed that way and waited. The train was said to be completely empty without a driver, conductor, passengers, or anything.

"Is that the train . . .?" said Riku.

"The one that runs to Yen Sid's Tower."

Yen Sid was apparently King Mickey's teacher and had a tower located in the same world as Twilight Town that could be reached by train. DiZ closed off the connection to Yen Sid's Tower when replicating Twilight Town as he did with the beach and tried to erase the train, but a glitch in the system occasionally caused the train to flicker in and out of existence. Riku tried everything he could to make the train go away, but it was stubborn, so there Roxas, Pence, Olette, and Hayner sat, waiting for a train that, hopefully, wasn't going to come.

As they sat and waited, they started talking about the beach again. This was starting to get pathetic.

Naminé walked into the computer room with lunch and handed brown paper bags to both DiZ and Riku. She paused behind the monitor and cocked her head.

"What's going on?"

"Roxas, Olette, and the morons are waiting for the ghost train," said Riku.

DiZ laughed.

"Naminé, do you think if I showed the train to Roxas, you could prevent the others from seeing?" said DiZ.

She nodded and shrugged.

"Sure."

"Why would you show Roxas the train?" said Riku.

"Do it, Naminé," said DiZ. He struck a few keys.

"Wait," said Riku. "Why are you showing Roxas the train?"

The troublesome purple train came barreling down the tracks. Roxas noticed instantly, turning around the gripping the fence along Sunset Hill that overlooked the railway system.

"Look! It's really true . . . And there's really no one aboard! What's the catch? There's gotta be a catch, right?"

He was such the picture of Sora, thunderstruck and stunned, throwing his hands around in wonderment. He couldn't conceal the amazed tone that lingered in every word of his astonishment. Hayner, Pence, and Olette only looked at each other in confusion.

"Then it's real? Let's go to the station!"

Roxas took off, forcing his friends to follow. Riku felt bad for him. Naminé had obviously completed that small task, but what Riku still didn't understand . . . DiZ started pressing keys as Roxas ran. The train was still in the station when Roxas arrived, but then DiZ hit the final stroke as Roxas suggested they all go inside and stepped forward. With his back turned, DiZ deleted the image he had made readily available, and the purple train was left as it was before, a troublesome and random flickering glitch.

"What?" said Roxas, almost snapping at Hayner when his head turned back. For a second, Riku almost felt sympathy for Hayner, who clearly thought his best friend had lost his mind.

"Um . . . you'll get hurt," was the only explanation he offered.

When Roxas turned back, the train was gone, and moments later, another train pulled in.

"That could've been bad," said Riku. "Why did you show him the train? He could've gotten hurt."

"Thank you, Naminé. I think that should be all the high points of the day. He's bound to head home soon. Keep an eye on him, Ansem."

DiZ actually got up and left the computer room. Riku looked at Naminé.

"Why did he show Roxas the train? That was dangerous. Hayner . . . I'm actually thankful for Hayner right now."

Naminé shrugged. Her eyes looked longingly at the images moving across the monitor.

"I don't really understand DiZ. Maybe he thought he was being nice. Are you going to be okay here by yourself?"

Riku huffed.

"Usually am. Just . . . and he was on me about mentioning Sora!"

Naminé squeezed his shoulder as he walked toward the computer, and then she turned to leave.

"I have things to do. I'll talk to you later, all right?"

Riku shrugged.

"Sure."

Naminé gave one last look to the monitors and turned away, her steps echoing down through the stairwell. Riku grumbled and opened the paper bag, pulling out a sandwich. It seemed Naminé visited a deli today. He picked up one half from the paper wrapping and sat back, watching Hayner force Roxas onto the train and the ride back to the Twilight Town Station. When they arrived, Hayner and the others were set on writing the paper, but Roxas was still stuck on the seven wonders, disappointed to stop after six. That ghost train really riled him up.

"But what about the last one—the seventh wonder?" said Roxas.

Hayner stomped his foot and stopped walking.

"Who cares?"

"I do. C'mon, Pence."

Pence and Olette turned toward him, but Hayner walked away. Olette and Pence considered him briefly, and with a sigh, Pence confessed the seventh wonder to be at the haunted mansion—DiZ's mansion. Roxas went alone, and Riku sat up, peering closer to the screen in case anything dangerous should come up. Roxas walked through the woods, up to the gate, and just stared. Nothing happened, and then all of a sudden Pence walked up behind him.

"You know something . . ." Roxas broke from his reverie, startled, almost jumping from his skin as he turned and cried out. Pence approached, walking closer. "We were gonna check the mansion out tomorrow. It _is _the most suspicious place."

"Right . . ." said Roxas.

Pence stood beside him. Now they were both staring. Riku slumped back in his seat and took a large bite from his sandwich.

"Even Seifer's gang was gonna help," Pence continued.

"Seifer?"

"Yeah, Hayner asked him to."

"So what're we lookin' for?"

"Well, they say there's a girl who appears at the second floor window . . . even though no one's lived here for years."

"I'm willing to bet her name is Naminé," said Riku, chuckling.

Roxas frowned and looked back at the building, and then his consciousness dimmed. His body remained in Twilight Town, still staring hard at the second floor windows, but his mind was in the white room. Riku's heart seized as the graphs displaying the state of Roxas's mind and heart sped up.

On one small monitor Roxas glanced around Naminé's room (on the big monitor he looked up at the mansion in a staring contest with the window). All of Naminé's drawings hung around the space. One of Kairi drew his attention, and he peered at it until Naminé's voice sounded.

"Roxas . . ."

"Naminé?"

As he looked for the source of her voice (though his voice really didn't have a corporeal source, either) his eyes landed on a drawing of Axel and himself.

"This is . . . me?" said Roxas. ". . . And Axel's here, too."

"You _are _best friends . . ."

"Very funny."

"Don't you want to know the truth about who you really are?"

"No one knows me better than me."

"Of course . . ."

"But . . . I don't get what's been happening lately."

His consciousness continued to travel around the room. Riku felt a flood of panic wash over him. He didn't know what to do. DiZ would have found a way to stop their mental connection by now (or maybe it was a connection of heart), but Naminé was so determined that Roxas needed to know. She had contacted Roxas's heart when she knew DiZ would be gone. Riku didn't know what was right, and still wasn't sure whether to let her speak her bit or not when Roxas's attention fell to a drawing of Sora, Donald, and Goofy.

"You know these three, don't you?" said Naminé.

"Yeah," said Roxas. "Sora, Donald, and Goofy. They're from the dreams."

"About a year ago, some things happened and I had to take apart the memories chained together in Sora's heart. But now . . . I'm putting them all back exactly the way they were. It's taken me a long time, but pretty soon Sora will be his old self again. The process has been affecting you, too, Roxas."

"You mean . . . the dreams?"

Roxas's gaze began to drift around the room again.

"Yes . . . You and Sora are connected. And . . . in order for Sora to become completely whole again . . . He needs you."

Roxas landed on a drawing of he and Sora holding hands.

"Me? What for?"

"You hold half of what he is . . . He needs you, Roxas."

"Naminé?"

There was a flash of blinding light, and then Roxas and Naminé were both there, corporeal, sitting on opposite ends of the long white table in her room. Riku took a deep breath and sat back, watching. Naminé thought he needed to know. Naminé was doing the restoration process. DiZ wasn't here to stop anything, and so . . . Riku was just going to have to trust her judgment.

"Naminé . . . who are you?" said Roxas.

"I'm a witch with power over Sora's memories and those around him."

"A witch?"

Naminé shrugged a little.

"That's what DiZ called me."

"DiZ is an asshole," said Riku.

Naminé's expression grew forlorn as she dropped her eyes from Roxas's gaze to the table.

"But I don't know why I have this power . . ." she continued. "I just do. I'm not even sure there's a right way for me to use it."

"Hmm . . . I can't help you there."

Naminé smiled at him a little. Riku frowned. Roxas looked across to the drawing of Axel and him.

"It's funny . . ." said Roxas. "Suddenly I feel like I don't know myself at all . . . I guess I would like to know. What do you know about me . . . that I don't?"

"You . . ." said Naminé. She dropped her head, looking sad and troubled. Riku's frown deepened. "You were never supposed to exist, Roxas."

"What . . .? How could you even say such a thing . . . even if it were true?"

"I'm sorry. I guess some things really are better left unsaid."

The connection with Naminé dimmed, and then Pence was shaking Roxas from his staring contest with the window. They left the mansion, met up with Olette (who already completed their paper), and were off to the station to meet Hayner. He was eating sea-salt ice cream again, but Riku didn't laugh about it. His thoughts were still with Naminé's sad, troubled expression and Roxas's words upon hearing the truth.

Riku stood and left the computer room.

-----0-----

"Why did you show him the train?"

Riku barged through the door on the first floor where he had first seen Naminé again since Castle Oblivion—the same room that DiZ spent all of his time outside the computer room in. He crossed the room and demanded the answer to the question he was trying to find all afternoon, and Roxas's encounter with Naminé only fueled the fire. He was not going to be stupid and passive again, letting someone else call all the shots without any real explanation. This wasn't even an ugly exchange of services, because DiZ wanted Sora awake.

DiZ looked up at Riku as he entered, nonplussed.

"Because he missed the trip to the beach."

What kind of explanation was that?

"Hmph . . . that's almost kind of you."

"Now . . . what about you? Are the holes in your memory starting to fill in?"

"Yes . . . the haze is clearing."

"The same thing is happening to everyone who had ties to Sora. Very soon, to them, he'll be like a good friend who's gone away for a year."

Riku walked forward and sat in the armchair across DiZ. He steeled his nerves. If Naminé could do what she thought she was right, even if it pained her, then he had to know. Riku swallowed. DiZ asked him his true name; Riku deserved answers, too.

"I've waited, and now I want to know. What is it that you want?"

DiZ sighed and looked right in his eyes.

"Revenge."

Riku's heart seized. He tried to keep calm, but his fists clenched.

"Revenge. . ."

DiZ just brushed it off.

"Now, for the finishing touches. First, we must dispose of Naminé. She did a splendid job with Sora, but it's high time she disappeared." Riku moved forward, ready to fight because Naminé was his friends—she wasn't just a Nobody, and DiZ said it himself that she wasn't a normal Nobody. He wasn't just going to _dispose _of someone, but DiZ continued. "Roxas isn't the only one who was never meant to exist. Take care of it, Ansem."

Riku's heart pounded painfully in his chest. Somewhere downstairs the computer announced Sora's restoration at ninety-seven percent.

-----0-----

His fingers curled and uncurled, poised in a loose fist as it hovered over the door to the white room. He knew he didn't have to knock. Naminé would tell him so when she answered the door, but something about casually strolling in after what he'd seen with Roxas and that conversation with DiZ felt dirty and inappropriate. He let his hand fall, gently rasping against the wood. When Naminé appeared there, she offered him that same, sad smile she directed toward Roxas and motioned him inside. His eyes fell to the same drawings that captivated Roxas's attention slightly over an hour ago.

"Naminé . . ." said Riku.

"Thank you," she said. "For letting me speak to him. I didn't know if you would, but I had to try."

"Naminé . . ."

"I think I might have troubled him more. I . . . I can't let him go like this."

"Naminé, DiZ wants me to dispose of you. He just told me so."

Her smile actually brightened a little and sat.

"Is that what's troubling you? I could tell the second I saw your face something was wrong. I thought it was Roxas."

Riku sighed. He dropped in a chair close to her.

"That's bothering me, too."

"I'll make things okay for Roxas. Don't worry about that. As for DiZ . . . I knew this would come. I have to go . . . once things are settled for Sora."

"You can't! I'll . . . You're my friend."

Naminé patted his hand. The sadness in her eyes left a little and was replaced with mirth.

"And you're mine. We'll always be together, just not in the same way. It's like Roxas with Sora. You'll see him again in Sora, and he'll be happy. Maybe a little sad—I think he'll really miss Hayner, Pence, and Olette. He'll probably miss Axel. I'll miss this house—this room, but I won't have to miss you, and you won't have to miss me. I won't disappear, Riku. I'm going to get to be whole again, too."

"What do you mean? Who's Nobody are you?"

Naminé giggled.

"Don't you already know? In you heart?"

Riku stared at her, frowning.

". . . It doesn't make sense."

"It will. I have something for you."

Riku raised his eyebrows.

"Me?"

"Mmm-hmm." Naminé flipped open her sketchbook and turned through a few pages. She stopped and then gently pried a page loose from the metal coil binding. "Here. You've been so great to have around here that I wanted to do something for you. Since you're in touch with Sora's heart, I can look into your memories, and . . . I know it's not much . . ."

She passed the page over. Riku took it in his hands and looked down at the drawing. It was of him and Cloud back at the Coliseum during the Hades Cup. A small smile tugged at his lips.

"Do you like it?" said Naminé.

He looked up, took down the hood, and offered her a smile.

"Yes. Thank you."

"I know things are hard for you right now, but they will get better. You'll get back to way you were, and I don't just mean the way you look."

Riku stood up, stepped forward, and wrapped her in an embrace. She sighed in a sweet way and dropped her forehead against his chest.

"I am going to miss you until we meet again," said Naminé.

"I don't know how I'm going to get through this without you."

"You're going to draw on the strength and light inside you."

"It's easier to do when there's someone just there for you."

Naminé pulled back and tapped the drawing.

"There is something just there for you."

Riku looked down at the page in his hands.

"I miss him."

"He misses you, too."

"How do you . . .?"

"He has ties to Sora, too."

"Right." Riku stared down at the drawing a little longer, and then turned halfway toward the door. "I think . . . I'm going to . . ."

"Go call him," said Naminé, laughing. "And don't be embarrassed. Fear and insecurity don't help anyone."

Riku nodded.

-----0-----

Carefully removing the Organization robe, Riku tossed it on a chair and moved to sit on the bed. He pulled the top drawer open and grabbed his phone, flipping it open. He had two missed calls. Riku pressed the keys, looking into the call log. Both calls were received from Cloud last night. There was one message.

It was the first time Cloud had really called since the World that Never Was.

Riku pressed a few more keys and held the phone to his ear, expecting the worst. That was the way it went. Just as things started to look up . . .

"Hey," said Cloud, and Riku immediately felt the corners of his lips turn up at the sound of his lover's voice. It had only been a few days, but it felt like eons. "I just called, but you didn't answer, and then I called back so I guess you don't have your phone on you or something. I just wanted to check in. Everyone's starting to remember Sora so I guess that means things are going well on your end. I . . . I also have to talk to you about something. It's kind of important. Don't worry or anything, it's not life-threatening, just give me a call when you get this message or when you get the time. I love you." The frown that took over Riku's face when Cloud spoke of an important conversation faded a little at the expression. Over the line, Cloud took a shaky breath. "I really do. I know I haven't been calling much, and things are messed up right now, but . . . I love you more than anything. I . . . Call me okay? I'll be waiting."

The message ended. Riku took a shaky breath himself, closed out his voicemail, and found Cloud's number in the contact menu.

* * *

* * *


	64. Of Irritation and Gush

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **064. Doors

**Word Count**: 6,378

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Reno is a pain in the ass and Riku's got nothing to worry about.

**Disclaimer**: I have no affiliation with Kingdom Hearts whatsoever other than I am a super obsessive fangirl. It all belongs to Disney and Square Enix. I've accepted this, and you should, too.

**Author's Note**: I accidentally typed Squall instead of Leon several times at the beginning of this story, only realized the slip up later, and giggled a little bit. This is not that interesting; it's just been that kind of a happy day.

* * *

**_Step Sixty-Four: Of Irritation and Gush_**

It was hours after Leon left. The dinner dishes were washed and put away. Denzel and Marlene were both in bed. There were a lot of distractions during the day between Tifa, the kids, and Vincent's demands that Cloud help out with the delivery service that he hardly had time to realize Leon was gone. With Leon gone, it was just him and Zack. Cloud didn't fully realize this until it was time to retire upstairs for the night.

"I'm gonna take a shower," said Zack. "Leave the window open for me, okay?"

Cloud looked around the bedroom and nodded. It felt so empty. He had always been so comfortable around Zack, but this . . . Cloud closed his eyes when Zack shut the door behind him and headed for the bathroom. He could do this. It didn't need to be this difficult. It was only now that he realized how valuable and relaxing Leon's presence had really been.

Dropping on the bed Cloud leaned back and laced his fingers behind his head, staring at the ceiling. Ordinarily he would entertain the idea of pretending to be asleep when Zack returned to avoid any tension. He might even call Leon and complain about how he had to come back, Sora be damned. Instead he leaned over the side and groped underneath the bed until his hand closed around his cell phone. Cloud glanced at the display and snickered.

He had forty-seven missed calls. All of them were from Reno.

"I really _should _call him back," Cloud murmured to himself.

He almost felt bad in a way. Reno didn't even know he'd taken the initiative to come to Gaea. It served him right, though. Reno was a pain in the ass. It was times like these that Cloud listened through all twenty-three messages that he wondered what had ever prompted him to sleep with Reno in the first place. No matter the circumstances saying that he had once had a relationship with Reno that was mostly rebound sex was embarrassing, especially if the person in question who knew this also happened to know Reno.

The messages kept cutting Reno off in the middle of sentences. The more Cloud deleted and the farther he got through them, the more Reno ended his sentences in 'yo.' He also sounded more desperate. Cloud chuckled as he deleted the last of them.

"Tomorrow, Reno. I'll call you tomorrow."

Cloud glanced toward the door and frowned. Zack always took forever in the bathroom (SOLDIER never really managed to break him of this, either); he should have time. Navigating through the menus he went into his contact list and found Riku's name. He knew he was resolved to have things calm down first, to talk to Reno and having something ready to tell, but there was a large void in his chest ever since the World that Never Was. He had to talk to Riku. It wasn't something like Cloud to readily admit, but he missed him so much that it hurt. It couldn't be ignored.

The phone rang seven times before Riku's voicemail picked up. Cloud frowned. It was pretty late. Riku shouldn't still be working on Roxas, or maybe he was. He flipped the phone shut and dialed again. The voicemail picked up for the second time. Cloud was starting to understand in a small way how Reno must feel.

"Hey, I just called, but you didn't answer, and then I called back so I guess you don't have your phone on you or something. I just wanted to check in." Cloud paused. This wasn't a conversation for voicemail. "Everyone's starting to remember Sora so I guess that means things are going well on your end. I . . . I also have to talk to you about something. It's kind of important. Don't worry or anything, it's not life-threatening, just give me a call when you get this message or when you get the time. I love you."

Cloud took a breath and closed his eyes tight. His heart pounded hard in his chest. Shiva, he missed him.

"I really do. I know I haven't been calling much, and things are messed up right now, but . . . I love you more than anything. I . . . Call me okay? I'll be waiting."

Cloud snapped the phone shut and stared at it for several seconds as if Riku were going to call him right back, but nothing happened. He dropped the phone over the side of the bed onto the floor and ran a shaky hand through his already disheveled blond hair. _Call me back_, he thought. _Come on, Riku. I need you._

It was a scary feeling to need someone so much. Cloud was still mentally willing (praying?) for his phone to ring—so different from a few days when he was willing the opposite—when Zack walked in dressed in only loose pajama pants and squeezing water out of his hair. Cloud smirked.

"You're supposed to do that in the bathroom. Now Tifa's going to complain about you dripping all over the place."

"Let her complain. It's too steamy in there. I was overheating."

"Shouldn't the Mako make you less sensitive to heat?"

"I don't know. Maybe they messed up with me."

"Maybe. So I was thinking of calling Reno tomorrow and heading out to meet him and Rufus Shinra in Healen. Probably Rude, too, since Reno doesn't go anywhere without his other half. Did you want to come along?"

Zack raised an eyebrow.

"Why would I go along?"

"I don't know. I just thought you might want to help out on this Sephiroth-Kadaj and his gang thing. They're harassing you, too, after all. Finish things off. You were there when it started."

"What? Like we could fight side by side again or something?"

"Yeah. Something like that."

Zack smiled.

"I'd like that."

Cloud tried to smile back. It felt so weak. Unfortunately, Zack noticed.

"If you don't want me to . . ." said Zack.

"No, I do. I'd like it, too. We can finish things together—the way it should have been. I just . . . I don't know. I don't feel I have a whole lot to smile about these days."

Zack frowned and sat on the end of his bed. He gently nudged one of Cloud's legs until Cloud just rolled his eyes, lifted his leg, and dropped one foot in Zack's lap. His fingers immediately fell to his heel and rubbed circles there with his thumb.

"Things'll work out for you, Spiky. You've been through too much for them not to."

"I know. I . . . I called him, but he's not answering. I'm afraid I'm going to lose him."

"Things are really that bad?"

"They aren't bad. He's . . . he's having a hard time, and I'm not much help, you know?" Cloud sighed and shook his head. "Maybe I'm overacting. He just means a lot to me."

"I can tell."

"I'm sorry about everything. This isn't fair to you, either."

Zack frowned.

"Stop apologizing. It's getting old. I know you're sorry. I'm sorry, too. It just happened. I told you to get on with your life if it did. No one is at fault here."

"I know. I just feel bad and I don't know what to do about it."

Zack's fingers moved into the arch of his foot.

"Knock it off and relax. It'll make things a thousand times easier on me."

"Just like that?"

Zack laughed.

"Yes. Just like that."

"I want you to know that feels really freaking good. No one does shit like this for me anymore."

"What? You're pretty little Sephiroth clone doesn't rub your feet for you?"

"No, but I don't really ask, either. He probably would if I did."

"At least you've got that."

Cloud snorted. Zack arched an eyebrow.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking you could ask Tifa."

"Heh. I'll take my chances asking Sephiroth first. There's always Marlene. She loves me."

"Yeah. Hey, there's always Leon. He needs to get laid."

"I think if anyone was going to be rubbing anyone's feet in that relationship, I'd be doing it to him. Besides, what makes you think that would lead to sex?"

Cloud snorted and shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know, Zack. Because it always used to? This'll probably be the first time it doesn't end in sex."

Zack snorted and moved to Cloud's other foot.

"Touché. That was a very astute observation for you."

"Thanks."

"Do you really think Squally would let me fuck him?"

Cloud laughed.

"Not if you call him Squally."

"I don't know. I think at this point he's in no position to turn down sex from anyone."

"Except maybe Yuffie."

"I like Yuffie! What's will all the Yuffie bashing? She was my girl."

"Her and Aerith."

"Yeah, but Aerith is a ball-buster."

"And Yuffie's not?"

"Good point. So's Tifa. Where are all those girls that are supposed to be made of sugar and spice and everything nice?"

"I don't know. I think it's there, but you only get to see it after they bust your balls. Look at Tifa with Vincent."

"I know! Doesn't it make you want to projectile vomit?"

"A little, yeah."

"I don't know. I think everyone turns a little gushy when they're in love, though. I was pretty spun out on you. You're disgustingly sweet about your mini-Sephiroth."

"He's nothing like Sephiroth, Zack. I mean, yeah, they kind of resemble each other, but . . . He's just nothing like Sephiroth."

"What? You mean he's not a psychotic mass-murderer with mommy issues?" said Zack in mock amazement. He laughed. "I know, okay? I'm just coping. Leave me be."

"Okay . . ."

Cloud really did smile this time as Zack dropped his foot and leaned back. Then he started laughing, which prompted Zack into laughter as well.

"Why are we laughing?" said Zack.

"I'm just picturing Leon gushy."

Zack howled.

"Poor Squally. He leaves us to our own devices and all we do is harass him in his absence."

"He'd expect no less of us."

"You're right. Wouldn't want to disappoint him. Keep laughing and try to imagine him calling someone his snuggle bunny."

-----0-----

Cloud called Reno around ten in the morning the following day after checking his phone to find no return call from Riku. They arranged to meet in Healen after a long, melodramatic verbal bashing that subsided a little when Cloud told him he was already in Edge. It subsided further when Cloud relayed the Zack Dropped from the Lifestream Incident and promised to bring him along.

After lunch, Zack and Cloud said goodbye to Tifa, Vincent, Marlene, and Denzel. They walked out to the garage where the bikes were waiting.

"Let me fill you in thus far about Kadaj and his gang," said Zack. "They're trouble. Like I said, I think they have something to do with Jenova and Sephiroth. They keep calling me brother, which probably has to do with the Jenova cells . . ."

"Mother," said Cloud in his best interpretation of Sephiroth.

"That's not funny. It's Kadaj's favorite word. There are three of them. Loz is the big, masculine-looking one. He cries easy. Yazoo is the overtly effeminate-looking one. He always speaks as if he's stoned. Kadaj is the one who can't keep his mouth shut. He's the crazy-sounding one."

"Gotcha. They're fucking weird and a lot of trouble."

"That's basically the gist. Let's hope we don't run into them out there. You got First Tsurugi?"

"All seven pieces."

"All right, then. Let's rock this shit."

Cloud snorted and rolled his eyes as he strapped on his goggles and mounted Fenrir. They rode from Edge toward the large hill overlooking Midgar (where Zack had died) and the Wilds. Cloud and Zack sped along side by side. As they traveled by the hill, Zack brought his bike in closer.

"Cloud!" Zack screamed, and motioned his head toward the hill. Cloud looked up to see three silver-haired figures silhouetted against the blinding sunlight. Two of the figures ran off and got on bikes themselves, speeding down the hill. His eyes narrowed.

"Kadaj?!" Cloud yelled back over the sounds of the engines. Zack nodded.

"And here they come! It's Loz and Yazoo! Get ready for a fight!"

Cloud nodded. Zack pulled the Buster sword from where it was harnessed to his back. Cloud reached toward his own harness and pulled out what he assembled earlier that morning of First Tsurugi. The wind rushed past his face as they rode on in the direction Tifa pointed to as Healen. Loz and Yazoo, however, were fast and they caught up, pulling next to either side of Cloud and Zack.

"Where's Mother?" screamed the one closest to Cloud. He raised his weapon, and Cloud snuck a glance. Big, masculine-looking one. Must have been Loz.

Cloud didn't think the blow would come so fast. The attack hit him hard and he swerved, almost colliding into Zack, who swerved himself and almost took the girly one—Yazoo, he figured—out. Cloud frowned and looked to Zack. Where's Mother? He supposed he meant Jenova considering what Zack, Tifa, Reno, and even Rufus Shinra must be theorizing, but what was that supposed to mean? Jenova was supposed to be long gone, and if that _thing_ wasn't, Cloud didn't know what made them think he or Zack would even know where to find it. It wasn't like they cared.

"We know you hid her, Brother," said Yazoo.

Zack slowed down and dropped back as Yazoo leaned in for an attack. Cloud followed suit, swerving away from Loz, dropping back, and staying just ahead of Zack. His heart was racing. The monsters that crawled around this area weren't helping, and as Loz leaned his bike in front of Cloud's, he had to swipe at and take one out. His goggles went flying.

On his right, Zack slashed at the monsters while leaning around Yazoo and Loz. Cloud raised First Tsurugi to block an attack coming from Loz slightly ahead and to the left, and as they weapons collided a horrible pain seared, burning up through his left arm as if in his bones. Cloud hissed, wincing, and then all of a sudden Loz and Yazoo dropped back and withdrew. Yazoo signaled to the monsters to back off. Zack pointed to the hill where the only one who remained—Kadaj—was signaling Loz and Yazoo back to him. He stared at Cloud. Cloud stared back.

-----0-----

Cloud agreed to meet with Reno at Rufus Shinra's lodge in Healen. It was located in a thick wood of trees past a signpost reading "Healen Lodge/Geostigma Sanatorium/In love of silence." Zack and Cloud passed to the one lodge with its door wide open (the way he would know it was Rufus Shinra's lodge). Cloud killed the engine and Zack removed his goggles, climbing off his bike.

"What the hell was that back there?" said Cloud. "That was Kadaj and his crew?"

"Yeah. They've got those monsters out there under their control."

"What did he mean 'Where's Mother?' and they know we 'hid her'?"

"How am I supposed to know? I've been dead."

Cloud sighed. He moved to dismount and winced, gripping his left arm in pain. Zack frowned.

"What is it?"

"I think it's that bruise from the kids the other day. It burns like hell."

Cloud removed his hand from where he gripped his arm to look at the spot. It was larger than before, darker—almost black now instead of the blackish-purple it had been. Zack frowned.

"You said it burns?"

"Yeah, why?"

"That's . . . If I didn't know better . . ."

"What?"

"Geostigma. It's supposed to burn. I don't know how you'd get it so fast, though, or why. Tifa thinks I don't have it because of being in the Lifestream, but you . . . You helped the planet, didn't you?"

Cloud frowned and looked down at the bruised spot on his arm. Sephiroth was still alive, and Cloud had depended on it. The planet took care of the Heartless. The planet stopped Meteor. Maybe Zack had a loose definition of the word, but Cloud wouldn't exactly say he helped the planet at all.

"I don't know. Let's just go see what the hell Reno's been so adamant calling about."

Zack shrugged and nodded. They walked up the stairs to the lodge and entered. Cloud saw Reno right away, instantaneously recognizable by his wild, red hair. Zack stepped to the side, and Reno swiftly turned as they entered, striking out. First Tsurugi met the blow before Reno ever seemed to notice what had happened. Cloud stepped back, taking the defense. Zack sniggered as Reno grinned, pulled back, and plunged forward. Cloud took a casual step out of the way, and the inertia from the blow sent Reno straight outside. Zack's laughter increased when Cloud shut the door and leaned back against it. A knock sounded.

"Okay, so you're good," said Reno.

Cloud locked the door.

"That's a pleasant greeting," said Zack.

"What can I say?" said Cloud. "They love me here."

The door leading into the next room opened and Rude stepped through. He readied his weapon as well.

"Yeah, Rude, lookin' sharp!" cried Reno from outside the window.

"You're an idiot," said Zack.

Rude's gaze passed from Cloud to Zack to Reno's head peeking in through the window. His body relaxed.

"Good," said a voice from the next room. "You fight like the SOLDIER you once were."

Rude looked toward the door and raised his hands, yielding. A man clad from head to foot in cloth emerged from the room in an electric wheelchair. Only his right hand was exposed, covered in Geostigma welts.

"Rufus Shinra," said Zack.

"Do I feel sorry for you," said Cloud, directing his attention to Rude.

Rude looked away. Rufus nodded toward Zack.

"Fair."

"What do you want?" said Zack. "I'm under the impression Reno could be arrested for harassment with the way he's been calling Cloud."

Rufus cleared his throat.

"The day of the explosion, I—"

"What do you want from us?" said Cloud. Zack's eyes briefly flitted to him but his expression remained stoic and unmoved.

"I managed to get out of the building—"

"What's the deal with Kadaj and his gang?"

"—before it colla—"

"I'm leaving."

Cloud turned to the door. Zack took a step after him. Rufus sighed.

"We need your assistance, Cloud. You, too, if you're willing to offer it, Fair."

Cloud sighed. He met Zack's eye for a second and nodded. Cloud turned back toward Rufus Shinra in his pathetic, sorry state and leaned against the door again.

"What if I'm not interested?"

"I acknowledge that Shinra owes the planet a lot. It goes without saying that my company and I are the ones who put the world in the sorry state it's in. Therefore, it's our responsibility to set things right."

Reno rapped on the window.

"I'm still out here . . .?"

"As a first step, we have commenced an investigation in Sephiroth's wake," said Rufus, ignoring Reno's plea. Zack looked toward the window and rapped back on it.

"Yup, at the Northern Cave!" said Reno.

"What do you think we found?" said Rufus. "Nothing. Nothing at all. You can relax."

Zack sniggered.

"It probably helps that Sephiroth isn't dead, or didn't you get that memo?"

Cloud shifted his footing. He saw Rufus's fingers clench.

"Sephiroth has been defeated."

"Not for good. Cloud will tell you that."

"What happened at the cave?" said Cloud.

Rufus paused.

"Not all went as planned. We were interrupted . . . by the same three who attacked you two. Kadaj and his gang. It seems he doesn't want us finishing what we started."

"What does that have to do with us?" said Zack.

"You're our buddies, aren't ya?" called Reno.

Cloud kicked the door with his heel.

"Kadaj's group is young and violent," said Rufus. "As dangerous as they come. That's why we decided it might be in our best interest to hire a little muscle."

"And you think it has something to do with Sephiroth," said Zack. "Isn't that right?"

"There are . . . resemblances."

"Not interested," said Cloud. "I can take care of Sephiroth on my own. I don't need any meddling from Shinra. Kadaj and his gang are all yours."

"You're all we have. You're ex-SOLDIERs, aren't you?"

"Not of my own accord," said Cloud. "I'm not working with darkness anymore."

"SOLDIERs killed me," said Zack.

They turned to leave, but then Cloud turned back.

"What's this stuff about Mother?"

"Why, did Kadaj say something to you?" said Rufus. "No surprise. There are plenty of kids who miss their mothers."

"Bullshit," said Zack.

"True, it is one of the resemblances, but it's the world we live in. I hear there are orphans living with your friends, aren't there? Think about it ... Don't you want to put smiles back on their faces? All we want in the end ... is to rebuild our world."

Zack frowned. Cloud met his eyes.

"C'mon, Cloud," said Reno. "Think about it. Together we can rebuild Shinra!"

Any remorseful feelings Cloud might have had disappeared. Zack walked right for the door and waited as Cloud unlocked it.

"Not interested," said Cloud.

"Yeah," said Zack. "What he said."

Cloud strode out of the house and Zack followed, passing Reno on the way to their bikes.

-----0-----

"Can you believe the nerve of that guy?" said Cloud.

"I know!" said Zack. "He calls you there to rebuild Shinra? And he doesn't even have the decency to tell us what he really thinks about Kadaj. He completely shot down the obvious Mother problem. There's something going on. They must have found something at the Northern Cave."

"You think?"

"Reno was spilling all the wrong beans. Has to be."

"I didn't even want to help Rufus Shinra. I only came because of Sephiroth and Reno said more than he should have. I thought he'd be more of a help."

"Well, you did lock him outside. Couldn't help much from there."

"Sure he could have. He just wasn't inventive enough."

"You have issues with Reno."

"We dated for a brief time after you died. He was my heavy rebound. I begrudge him for every irritating second."

"I know. Tifa told me it was the highest form of self-abuse you've ever taken."

Cloud snickered.

"She would say something like that, but the funny thing is she dated him, too."

"Well I am not working for Rufus Shinra but I'll work with Rude and Reno. I have no problem there as long as they're honest. Shinra is out."

"I agree."

"Did you see Rufus Shinra's hand?"

Cloud sniggered.

"Oh, yeah. Man, the planet is _really_ pissed off at him."

"I know, and that was just his hand. Can you imagine what's under all that cloth? This opens a lot of doors, though. I wonder what they found at the Northern Cave."

"Don't know."

As they sat there pondering in the bedroom, Cloud cell phone went off. He grumbled.

"If it's Reno I'm going to rip his head off and shit down his neck," said Cloud.

Zack sniggered.

"If it's Reno, tell him I'm available for my rebound fuck now. He can have us both."

"Come now. I had him. You think I'd let him fuck me?"

"You were the seme? But you're such the uke!"

"Nope. That was just you, dear."

Cloud grabbed his phone from the floor and glanced at the display. His stomach tied in knots as his smile fell.

"It's Riku."

Zack stopped sniggering. That sad, distant look crept back into his eyes.

"Go ahead. Answer it. I'll go downstairs."

Cloud bit his lip and nodded. He flipped the phone open as Zack stood before it went to voicemail.

"Hey," said Cloud.

"Hey," said Riku. "I got your message. I'm calling. You said it was important . . .?"

"Let me know when you're done, okay?" said Zack. "I'm going for a drink."

Cloud nodded.

"Okay."

"Okay?" said Riku. "Who was that? I heard a voice."

"That's kind of what I need to talk to you about."

Cloud got off the bed and walked to the door Zack just vacated, shutting it and turning the lock.

"Was it Vincent?"

"No . . . What's the last thing I told you?"

Riku was silent for a few seconds.

"That much has happened, huh?"

"You have no idea."

Riku sighed.

"You called Leon."

"But why did I tell you I called Leon?"

There was another long pause.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't tell you everything. I . . . Don't be upset, okay? I just wasn't ready to tell you, and now . . ."

"I thought you said I wasn't supposed to worry."

"I did. You shouldn't. It's just . . ." Cloud sighed. "It's important. Or not really . . . it's big."

"How big?"

"Big enough that you're going to freak out."

"You said I didn't have to worry! This sounds like I should!"

"Calm down, Ri. I said you're going to freak out. It doesn't mean you should."

Riku sighed.

"What's going on?"

"That was Zack."

"Zack . . .?"

"Zack. Zack Fair. My formerly dead ex-boyfriend, Zack."

Riku said nothing. Cloud sighed.

"He was here at Tifa's when I got here," said Cloud. "As Tifa and Zack tell it, after the Lifestream took out all the Heartless it started chucking out dead people and Zack was one of them. I didn't tell you before because I was kind of in shock, and I knew there was no way I was going to be able to assure you that it wouldn't affect us in the state I was in."

"So what you're telling me is your boyfriend . . ."

"Ex-boyfriend."

"He was only your ex-boyfriend because he died."

"And now he's my ex-boyfriend because I'm over him. Listen, Ri, just . . . hear me out."

". . . Okay. Go on."

There a terse tone to his voice that made the muscles in Cloud shoulders, back, and neck pull taut.

"Zack was here when I got here, and I lost it. I was in shock. To make matters worse, Zack doesn't remember being dead, so it's an abrupt end for him, and Tifa's determined to see us back together. I called Leon because I was worried about how you were going to take it and I felt bad just flat out telling Zack that I still care about him, but I'm not in love with him anymore. Leon was here for a few days to help me get my head together, but he headed back to Hollow Bastion when we started remembering Sora."

"You're not convincing me, Cloud."

"I'm not in love with him anymore." Cloud said these words slowly and controlled. "It's true that he wants us to get back together, and Tifa wants to see us together, but I want to be with you. I'm in love with you. Now that he's back I'm more assured than ever that you mean so much more to me than he ever did. I want _you_. I love _you_. I miss you so much it hurts."

There was a soft sound on the other end. Cloud frowned.

"Ri . . . Are you crying?"

"No."

"Riku . . .?"

"This is just perfect, isn't it? I'm not exactly in a position for a relationship right now looking the way I do, and then the love of your life who's supposed to be dead just comes walking back in. It's like fate."

"It's not fate, Riku. It's Shinra pissing off the planet. It's unusual, and I'm happy he's back. I care about him, but he's my friend. I don't want to be with him."

"You say that now, but what about later when I still look like this. I mean . . . I love you, too, but . . . I'm not me anymore. I'm not . . ."

Cloud frowned. He dropped to the bed.

"What's been going on over there, Ri? This doesn't sound like you."

"Of course it doesn't. I'm fucking Ansem."

"What . . .?"

"DiZ. He wanted to know my true name. I told him it was Ansem. I . . . Naminé . . . Roxas . . . Sora's almost completely restored, but . . . it's a disaster here, Cloud. I want to go home, and I don't even mean Destiny Islands. I want to go there, too, but . . . I miss you so much."

"Ri, it's okay. Tell me what's going on."

"And you're going to run off with Zack because you were in love with him and I'm a mess . . ."

"I'm not going to run off with Zack. I don't care if you look like Ansem for the rest of your life; I'm going to be with you."

"I care! I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life! I don't want you to be with me like this. You should just . . . It's just too perfect. You should be with Zack."

"It would only be perfect if I wanted Zack, which I don't. You won't be like this the rest of your life; I'm just saying that if you were, I'd be with you anyway. I'm not giving you up so don't try to push me away. We promised, remember?"

There was another soft, stifled sound. Cloud's frown deepened.

"Yeah. I remember, but . . ."

"No 'buts'. I'm not giving you up. Got it?"

". . . Got it."

"Tell me what's going on."

There was a long pause.

"It's horrible. I haven't even had time to think about how I'm going to make things up to Leon because I'm too busy running after Roxas for DiZ. DiZ wants me to 'dispose' of Naminé, and she's all okay with this because she's just a Nobody and if she disappears, she'll be whole again, but I don't want her to disappear. She's my friend. Roxas is no happier about going back to Sora than he was in the World that Never Was, though at least he's less violent about it. He's not supposed to know anything, but Naminé was determined that he had to hear it, and now that he has he's really upset. Organization XIII found their way into the system so I've been chasing around Nobodies. I finally found out DiZ's real goal is revenge, I didn't get to go to the beach, I'm trapped inside this body that isn't mine, Leon hates me, and now your dead ex-boyfriend isn't dead anymore."

Cloud's eyes widened as his eyebrows rose. He blinked.

"Okay. Leon doesn't hate you. Zack is no threat to you, and one day I plan on introducing you to further prove it. I can't comment on anything else except it will get better. Keep your head up."

"I miss you," said Riku. His voice sounded almost desperate. "I want to be with you. I want you to hug me. I want a hug."

"Riku, remember when all the bad stuff was going on with Maleficent?"

"Is this a trick question?"

"No."

". . . Yeah. Why?"

"Remember how you just kept going because you saw the end goal?"

"I messed that up."

"You couldn't know what Maleficent was really up to. Whatever DiZ's motive is, it isn't against Sora. If anything, it sounds like he wants revenge against Organization XIII. You can't help with revenge. That's his issue, but it doesn't get in the way of your goal so it doesn't matter. As far as Naminé, if she's happy about getting to be whole again, then you need to let her go. If you need a friend, I'm always here for you. Forever. And Leon doesn't hate you, so you have him, too. Roxas is needed to be part of Sora, and it's only natural if you feel bad about taking away his life since Sora was your best friend, but he'll be whole, too, just like Naminé says."

Riku sighed.

"I know. And I won't look like this forever, right?"

Cloud smiled.

"I know it's hard. It's hard for me, too, right now, but we'll pull through this together, and I promise that the next time I see you—Ansem-looking or not—I will give you the biggest hug you've ever gotten."

Riku laughed a little.

"Okay. You won't let me go until I'm ready?"

"I'm never letting you go, but literally speaking, no. I'll hold you until you're ready to let go."

". . . Okay."

"I miss you, too."

"I'm still not happy about your dead ex-boyfriend being undead."

"You have nothing to worry about. We're sharing a room, but there are two beds, and I've been very firm about letting him know that we are not getting back together. I've told him a bit about you. Oh . . . heh . . . I kind of told Leon about the Ansem-looking thing."

". . . What?"

"Yeah. Well, he wanted to know about your voice, and I know you were going to tell him anyway, so I thought it was better if he had time to process it before he heard it from you. I also thought it might take a little strain off of you—no pressure to tell him, and no extreme initial reaction."

Riku sighed.

"I guess you're right. I wasn't looking forward to that conversation."

"So no pressure. Leon knows, and he doesn't look at you differently except perhaps think that you're far stronger than he ever thought. I also want to let you know that I've let go the last of my jealousy about your friendship with Leon."

"Really?"

There was a hint of amusement in his tone. It made Cloud smile.

"Yeah. I finally realized that Leon was just profoundly lonely and I've decided I need to get him laid. I've recruited Zack in this mission, and you can feel free to join. By the way, Zack calls Leon 'Squally,' so if you ever hear anything about a Squally . . ."

"You're trying to get Leon laid now?"

". . . Zack's been a bad influence."

"You're having a really good time, aren't you?"

Cloud snorted.

"Absolutely not. I've been having a terrible time. We just use humor to keep from going insane. Zack's especially good at it because he's got an astoundingly good memory for someone who can't remember being dead. You know how back in Hollow Bastion Yuffie is our easy target?"

"Yeah."

"Leon is Zack's easy target."

"You saying that makes me want to like him, and I don't want to like him, Cloud. I want to be threatened, and hate him, and not ever have good feelings about him."

"You have nothing to worry about. One day you're going to meet him, and I get the bad feeling that after the initial hostility you'll become the best of friends, get Sora in on it, and the three of you will rip Leon and me to shreds."

"What's going on with Sephiroth?"

"Don't know. I got attacked by Kadaj's gang today, though. Me and Zack went to meet up with Reno, and we got attacked, and then Rufus Shinra wanted us to be the muscle behind rebuilding Shinra. He also lied out his ass about not thinking Kadaj and Sephiroth were connected. It's a bunch of bull."

"Sounds it."

"I don't know. I'm thinking about meeting with Reno and Rude privately."

"Rude is Reno's partner, right?"

"Yep. You're starting to get it."

"Starting to. Well . . . I really should get to bed. Sora's almost at one-hundred percent, and I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I'll call you when it's all over, though, and let you know. I just wanted to hear your voice and find out what was so important."

"Don't stress about it. I'm going to ask you to marry me when you finish school. Zack is not part of our plan except maybe be the first asshole to makes jokes about our age difference at the wedding."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is. That's what we promised."

"No, it's not. Homosexuals can't get married. You're asking me for a commitment ceremony."

"Maybe they can't get married on Destiny Islands, but it's perfectly legal in Hollow Bastion."

". . . Are you serious?"

"No, of course not. There are just gay couples running rampant, no one thinks it's weird, and gays and straights can coexist at the same club without any problems. Homosexuality is totally an issue on Hollow Bastion."

"That was sarcasm."

"Yes, it was."

"So . . . you mean . . .?"

"If you wanted to move to Hollow Bastion after you finish school . . . yeah. We could if you wanted me to ask you for that instead."

"Is that what you want?"

"I just practically told you it is."

". . . Okay. Then . . . yeah. I want you to ask me that."

"Okay. Good. Then you have nothing to worry about with Zack, and I will call you more often to check in just so you can know how much I miss you, how much I love you, and how gushy I've become over you."

"Okay. I'd like that."

Cloud could hear the smile in his voice. He grinned.

"Me too. Now get to bed. Who knows what tragedy awaits tomorrow? You'll want to be well-rested."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Goodnight."

Cloud smiled.

"Night. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

". . . I'm holding you to that."

"I figured you would."

"Until tomorrow, then. Night."

Cloud couldn't help the grin even if it felt like it was breaking his face.

"Night."

The line disconnected and Cloud snapped his phone shut, staring at it for several seconds before he headed for the door to retrieve a possibly drunk Zack. He tried to unscrew the smile, but it refused to move.

* * *

**_So, aptly, this chapter got gushy, but I think it really needed to before Cloud and Riku beat themselves into oblivion._**

**_I included almost the entire scene from Advent Children with Reno, Rude, and Rufus Shinra for several reasons. 1. I think it's the funniest effing scene ever, and 2. The prompt was doors, and I love Reno getting shut out like that. Adding Zack to the mix just made it funnier. Don't expect everything in the Gaea/Midgar area to be this in-line with canon._**

**_I don't know where the marriage thing came from at all. I was just thinking about all the sexy boys in Hollow Bastion and reading about gay marriage laws, so yeah . . . they're different worlds, right, and even our world has managed to legalize it in places like Canada and some countries in Europe. I'm all about it. So, yes._**

**_Besides, I think commitment ceremonies are degrading. I have strong, unyielding views on sodomy and gay marriage laws._**

**_Thanks to everyone who reads/reviews/favorites or whatever. All my love._**

**_-D_**


	65. Duality

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **065. Holes

**Word Count**: 6,115

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Hey, Sora? Wake up already!

**Disclaimer**: I have no affiliation with Kingdom Hearts whatsoever other than I am a super obsessive fangirl. It all belongs to Disney and Square Enix. I've accepted this, and you should, too.

**Author's Note**: I felt really fucked up after writing this. Hope you all fare better than I did.

* * *

**_Step Sixty-Five: Duality_**

Riku never went to bed that night—that fateful, horrendous night when his already shaky world crumbled just a little more. It wasn't that he didn't sleep; he just didn't go to bed, opting instead to pass out in the computer room as he relentlessly rolled his own death sentence around in his head.

For several minutes after the call with Cloud ended Riku sat on his bed, staring at phone and waiting. Waiting for what, he couldn't be sure. A miracle, maybe. Perhaps to retain his own form, magically appear in Midgar (or Edge, Gaea, or wherever), and put Zack back in the grave (Lifestream?) personally. Part of him hoped the phone would ring again, it would be Cloud and Leon laughing at him, and this story about Zack being the undead was just a highly unentertaining prank—and that Riku was so stupid to fall for it. Nothing happened; Riku didn't really expect anything to. For several more minutes he stared at the bedroom door unsure of what to do next. His nerves felt jumbled; his stomach twisted—queasy and nauseous. His fingers twitched around the cell phone still gripped tight in his right hand. He had to get out of here.

For the following thirty minutes Riku walked restlessly around the mansion. At one point the door to DiZ's room opened, and after a brief scolding (if Riku wasn't going to sleep, he could at least not keep others awake) he retired to the computer room. Sora's restoration was at ninety-nine percent.

"That was Zack."

How could Cloud be so flippant about the whole thing? Riku knew that he said the initial reaction was shock—that Cloud had actually freaked out over the whole scenario. If Riku knew Cloud as well as he hoped, that probably meant a lot of guilt, blame, and self-abuse, but over whom? Did he really want to be with Riku over Zack, or did he feel too guilty about the terrible timing? Even if Cloud wanted to go back to Zack, would he really admit it to anyone? Even himself? The Cloud Riku knew probably wouldn't. He wouldn't even recognize what he was really feeling until he started to resent Riku. Tifa would keep pushing for a reunion between Zack and Cloud, and eventually it would just be over. They would be over. Considering the burden Riku had been over the past year, he didn't even want to think on how fast it would happen, either.

Riku sighed and dragged a hand over his face. Perhaps he was getting ahead of himself. If the change was really as abrupt for Zack as Cloud made it sound and he honestly didn't remember a thing about dying, then it was understandable if Cloud was trying to be sensitive to his feelings. As far as Riku could tell, Cloud never stopped blaming himself for Zack's death. It was perfectly natural if, now that he was back and Cloud had moved on, he would feel some kind of guilt. That didn't mean he didn't care about Riku, right? He had called Leon for support and worried about how Riku would react. Surely that was a sign that he was trying to consider Riku's feelings about the situation, too. Maybe Cloud was just trying to be true to his heart without hurting anyone. He had waited until he had his own emotions sorted out until he broke the news so he could be completely honest about how he felt. That was something.

This ordinarily would have been the time when Riku would seek out a friend—Sora or Kairi—for consolation. These days, the only friend he really had was Leon. Leon would have insight into the situation, not only because he always had insight into these kinds of things, but because he'd been there when Cloud lost it, too. Even if Cloud couldn't see where his heart really belonged, Leon would have some idea, but just talking about this with someone was bound to make Riku behave like a lunatic, and he already went off on Leon once this month. A second time wouldn't do their friendship any good.

Who was this Zack, anyway, and what made him so goddamn special? Once upon a time, he had Cloud's utter, undying devotion, and very well still could. Apparently he could tease Leon as if he were Yuffie. He even had Tifa's vote, and even Riku wasn't ignorant enough to notice that Tifa was less than taken with him. Zack even managed to defy the laws of death.

Fuck it. Riku was screwed. Maybe Cloud had been sincere over the phone and truly meant every word spoken. Maybe he really did intend for them to get married one day, and if Riku looked like Ansem for the rest of his life, it wouldn't matter because Cloud wasn't going anywhere, but that was all right now in this moment. In this moment Cloud wasn't going anywhere, but what about two months from now? Five months? A year? It was only a matter of time.

Time passed quickly and unnoticed as Riku sat before the computer monitor without registering a thing. His hands continued to rake through his hair; his breathing was harsh. Thousands of thoughts raced through his mind and filled up the empty minutes he should have spent sleeping. Riku teetered between hope and despair. Maybe everything would work out. Cloud was sure to run back to Zack. He said he wanted to get married. He probably said the same thing to Zack before he died. Cloud insisted that Riku meant more than Zack ever did, but what was he saying to Zack, and how could Riku possibly believe him?

Faith was a funny thing in that just when you need it the most is when it's the hardest to grab onto.

-----0-----

The last of the holes were starting to fill in.

Sora's voice, which was so unlike Roxas's. Sora's laugh. The sound of Sora's shoes crossing the bridge as he approached the bent-over paopu tree. The way Sora worried his lower lip when he was upset or jutted it out in that ridiculous pout he used to make when he lost a fight.

The Harada house in the summertime, which always smelled of brown sugar and cinnamon. Tall frosty glasses of cold lemonade while Sora, Riku, and Kairi played in the yard. Sometimes Mrs. Harada would take them down to the shoreline and watch while they played, and sometimes she let them go off on their own, usually out to the play island until dinner.

Destiny Islands Junior High. At least twice a week Sora could be counted on to poke his head up at the window of one of Riku's classroom doors, out on a bathroom break. Riku would ask to use the lavatory pass and they ended up skipping more school than Sora could ever afford to. This inevitably led to Sora's 'pity me' pout and a cute little whine because he had fallen behind in one of his lessons again. A little pleading paired with Riku's almost obsessive crush on his best friend ultimately led to Riku not only tutoring Sora, but doing his homework for him . . . again.

Late night sleepovers in early August before the school term began after a long day on the beach. The first time Sora, Riku, and Kairi spent the night in the secret place. They told ghost stories and had to the leave in the middle of the night because Sora got scared, had a nightmare, and wanted the security of his own bed where at the least the spooky shadows in his room were familiar. Riku and Kairi, not wanting to make Sora feel bad, helped clean up their campsite and moved the whole thing to the Harada backyard.

Sora's stance and almost endearing glare when he was losing in a fight and claimed that now he was going to "get serious." The furious blush in Sora's cheeks at the mention of Kairi's name. The deeper blush of Kairi's name paired with the paopu fruit legend.

The way he had looked—so smug and proud—in Traverse Town. Sora, Keyblade drawn, staring hard in Monstro ("Heart or no heart, at least he still has a conscience."). The way disappointment, fear, and anger had twisted Sora's boyish features in Neverland. Sora, unyielding, as he declared, "My friends are my power!" and won back the Keyblade in Hollow Bastion, and then . . .

Nothing.

-----0-----

Dawn was breaking over Twilight Town when Naminé entered the computer room to find Riku slumped before the desk, head resting on his forearms. The hood of the Organization robe was down and exposed the face she knew caused him so much torment. His skin was sticky; his hairline was drenched in sweat. Naminé frowned as she kneeled down beside him and gently shook his shoulder.

". . . Riku?"

He coughed a little, flinched, and pulled away. Naminé shook him a second time. Riku's eyes popped open for half a second, revealing a vivid, startling orange, and then snapped shut. He squinted.

"What time is it?"

"Early. I just wanted to check on Sora. What are you doing down here?"

Riku took a long, shaky breath and pulled himself up into a seated position. He groaned.

"It's a long story."

"Your heart's hurting."

Riku nodded.

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Riku shook his head.

"No. How's Sora?"

Naminé glanced toward the monitor.

"Ninety-nine percent."

"Still? He was there last night."

Naminé shrugged.

"Roxas. He's . . . he still needs to be integrated. That's all that's left to complete the restoration. It's already started. His heart—it's merging, but he's resisting. I suppose we'll take care of that today."

"And then Sora will wake up."

Naminé smiled. She nodded.

"Yep . . . but . . . DiZ wants to move on to the World that Never Was once Sora's awake to keep an eye on the Organization. Continue to help Sora out on his way across the worlds—give him little clues and such. I figured you would help with that since you don't want Sora to see you like this."

Riku nodded.

"Yeah. I guess. What about you? Where are you going to go?"

She grinned and shrugged.

"Home."

". . . Kairi, right?"

"So you_ did _know."

He touched a hand to his chest.

"Yeah. In my heart, right?"

"That's right."

"Hey, Naminé? When you go back to Kairi, and Roxas goes back to Sora, and then . . . I mean . . . When I'm me again . . . Will we all still . . . ?"

"I can feel about a thousand ways your heart wants to end that sentence."

"I can't really find words to what I want to ask."

"I don't think everything can ever go back to how it used to be, and considering everything that happened, it probably shouldn't, but . . . We'll always be friends. We'll always be together. You, Kairi, and Sora . . . and Roxas and I will be there, too. We always were."

"Do you think Sora can ever forgive me?"

"I think he already has."

"I was in love with him."

"I know."

"Did Kairi?"

Naminé frowned and nodded.

"Yes. She did."

"But Sora . . ."

"Never had a clue."

"Cloud's ex-boyfriend is miraculously back from the dead."

"So that's what the turmoil in your heart is all about. What does that have to do with Sora?"

Riku opened his mouth to reply, and then shut it again. There were so many ways to answer that question, and yet no words would come. He sighed and shook his head, running a hand across his still-damp hairline and back over his head.

"I don't know. I guess . . . I knew Sora was never going to love me the way I loved him. I knew. I didn't want it to be that way, but it was, and I really thought I would never love anyone as much as I did him until I met Cloud. And now . . . Everything I felt for Sora? Back then? It just seems so childish now. So . . . trivial. And I guess . . . But with Cloud . . . you know? With Cloud it was supposed to be . . . different, I guess. And everything was okay, and then I found out about Zack."

"His ex-boyfriend that's miraculously back from the dead?"

"Yeah. He . . . They were really in love. And then Zack died. They didn't even break up. Before he came back Cloud kept saying that I meant more than Zack ever did. He . . . I didn't really believe him, you know? I just thought he was being nice, because if Zack hadn't died . . . I guess . . . I don't know. I guess Cloud and I would've probably never met. We'd have never been together. And even if we had met, he wouldn't even consider me because he would still have had Zack."

"Riku, if Zack hadn't died, he probably wouldn't even be the same person you fell in love with."

"I know. It's just . . . I keep going two ways on how I feel about this. Part of me is terrified. Zack was his first love. They'd probably still be together if he hadn't died, and now Zack is back, it's a miracle, and it happens just when I turn into . . . this. It's just perfect, isn't it? The timing is just freaking perfect. But then . . . Cloud was so young when he was with Zack. Sora was _my _first love. And what if . . . Cloud said that now that Zack's back, he knows more than ever that I mean more than he ever did. That he really loves me. He even said he wants to marry me, so what if it's the same?"

"What? That now that Zack's back and he's fallen in love with you, his knows his feelings for Zack were still real, but . . ."

"But maybe they feel just as childish as my feelings for Sora do."

Naminé smiled.

"You need to trust him. Just believe in him."

"I trust he means what he says, or at least he thinks he means it, but I don't trust that it won't change. That the way I look right now won't interfere."

"Tell you what. I'm going to wake DiZ and get breakfast. We're going to get Roxas to merge with Sora so that lazy bum wakes up, and then I'm going to go back to Kairi. DiZ is going on to the World that Never Was. Let him know you'll meet up with him, but there's something you have to do first. Then go, apologize, and find out what you need to know."

"Apologize? What for? Besides, I can't. He's busy with some Sephiroth stuff, and . . ."

Naminé giggled.

"Not Cloud. Leon."

Riku's eyebrows rose. He gaped.

"_Leon_? But . . . Wait . . ."

"He's close to both you and Cloud. He ought to know what's going on. You already know that in your heart, and if you're going two ways, it can't hurt to find out which way he thinks you ought to lean. Anyway, you wanted to patch things up with him to start, and you really just want someone to listen. Cloud usually does that for you, but this is about him. Think about it. If you were on Destiny Islands, even if you were in a fight or whatever it was that transpired between you and Leon, who would you go to?"

"I used to go to Sora . . ."

"No, you didn't. Not for big things. Sora came to you. If you needed someone to listen, offer some advice, lean on a little bit, _especially _if it was about something like a relationship, you would go to . . ."

Riku frowned. He closed his eyes for a pained second.

"Ayumi."

"Exactly, and whether you realize it or not, somewhere along the way Leon has taken a spot in your heart much like your sister's. You look up to him the same way, don't you?"

Riku nodded.

"I know. I did realize. I just . . . I was so harsh to him . . ."

"Ayumi wouldn't hold it against you."

"I'm her brother. It's in the rules."

"And Leon regards you as something of a brother. One little disagreement isn't going to change how he feels about you, so when we get things squared away go on to Hollow Bastion. Tell DiZ you'll meet him in the World that Never Was when you've got some of your own things taken care of."

"And you'll . . ."

"See you soon. Next time Kairi does, most likely."

Riku tried to smile. His heart ached.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too."

-----0-----

Roxas was flickering. Not even flickering like a badly tuned television station, but morphing into Sora, back to Roxas, Sora, and then Roxas again. He dressed. He walked through a mostly deserted town to the Usual Spot, but when he got there . . .

"Something's different," said Riku as he peered over DiZ's shoulder.

"Man, I could not sleep last night . . ." said Roxas, scratching the back of his head as he approached Hayner, Pence, and Olette. They didn't respond. "Guys?"

Roxas reached out as if to tap Hayner on the shoulder. His hand passed right through, and for a moment, Hayner went transparent before solidifying again. A small gasp issued from Roxas's lips as the three friends laughed and then they simply turned and ran out as if on another day's adventures. Maybe even with the intent of another try at a visit to the beach. Riku frowned as Roxas picked up one of the photos lying around the Usual Spot—the one that used to hold the images of all four friends in front of DiZ's mansion. Now there were only three.

"What's going on?" Riku turned to Naminé, standing beside him, watching intently on the scene transpiring on the screen. "You removed his memory from them?"

"And every trace of his existence in that town. It will simplify the restoration process," said DiZ.

"And make the loss easier on Hayner, Pence, and Olette," said Naminé. "At least I hope. The heart is more powerful than we can ever imagine."

DiZ laughed. Once again, Riku felt he missed the joke—a joke that was, most likely knowing DiZ, in poor taste.

Riku frowned as Roxas turned to leave the Usual Spot, his expression crestfallen. Sora had looked that way once, for the briefest of seconds, right before he closed the door on Riku and Mickey to the realm of darkness. His heart pulled tight.

"I'm sad for him," said Riku.

Naminé nodded.

"And them, too," she said.

"Be careful of your emotions. Roxas's fate is unavoidable," said DiZ.

"I know. You keep telling me so," said Riku. "I'm just . . . sad."

There was no time, however, to feel sad. The alternate Twilight Town was a busy place, Roxas was a targeted guy, and just when Riku's emotions were going one way, all hell broke loose. It was becoming a pattern by now, and so Axel's appearance in the Back Alley with a small arsenal of Dusks at his command came was almost expected. DiZ started to pound away at the keys.

"I'm tiring of this Organization brat," said DiZ.

"I don't know," said Riku. "He's starting to grow on me."

"Look at what it's come to. I've been given these icky orders to destroy you—if you refuse to come back with me," said Axel in the system.

He said it with such forced nonchalance and uncomfortable body language, in such a way that suggested, "Sorry, kid, I really don't like this, but my hands are tied," that for a moment Riku almost sympathized. He could see why Sora would've liked him, too.

Roxas straightened. The news about being best friends must have been preying on his mind as he took a moment to eye Axel up. This scrutiny seemed to make Axel even more uncomfortable.

"We're . . . best friends, right?" said Roxas.

Axel didn't even flinch. His previous discomfort manifested further as he scratched the back of his head and tried to keep up the façade, but Riku knew better. He'd seen that act on Cloud one too many times. Riku snickered.

"Sure . . ." said Axel, "But I'm not getting turned into a Dusk for . . . Wait a sec! You remember now!?"

There it was. He was a little slow on the uptake, Riku thought, grinning beside himself. Axel's sheer elation at being remembered lit up his entire face. The calm, collected demeanor was gone. Riku snickered again; Naminé grinned. Roxas, however, shifted his weight and hesitated for a second.

"Y . . . yeah."

Either this was the part of Sora that was a terrible liar, or Sora, whether in light or darkness, just wasn't capable of depiction in the slightest. Axel, however, was equally matched with his skills of observation and literally did a little arm pump in victory.

"Great!" said Axel. This time, Riku actually outright laughed. "But, you know, gotta make sure and all. So, umm . . . What's our boss's name?"

"He's screwed," said Riku.

"But think of how much help it'd be against Organization XIII if he knew," said Naminé.

"I already know," said DiZ. "There's no need for this exchange."

He continued to almost lazily tap away at the keys. Roxas still didn't answer. Axel was starting to get the picture. He genuinely looked depressed as he dropped his head and sighed.

"Can't believe this . . ."

Before anyone knew what had happened, Roxas called and the Keyblade appeared. Riku almost laughed a second time. That expression! Why hadn't he noticed it sooner? That face Roxas made when he was angry, when they were fighting in the World that Never Was—it was such a _Sora_ face! Kairi called it Sora's 'This means business' face. It used to be enough sometimes to coax Riku into throwing a fight. Axel, however, recovered quickly and readied himself, but just as he raised his chakrams he froze.

"That's enough out of you," said DiZ as he moved to fiddle with the microphone and then tapped a few more keys.

"Oh, come on," said Riku. "I had a bad night. At least let me see them fight."

"We don't have time for such trivial matters," said DiZ as Roxas stared ahead for a moment, bewildered, and dropped his arm to his side. "Roxas, to the mansion! The time has come!"

Roxas, however, was still not giving in without a fight. He turned his face toward the sky.

"Hayner! Pence! Olette!"

Naminé frowned; Riku shrugged.

"Well, it worked once," said Riku.

"I shouldn't have troubled him so much," said Naminé.

"He cannot alter his path now," said DiZ. "He will simply have to accept his fate. Nothing either of you could or should have done anything about it."

"I know that," said Naminé. "It's just . . ."

Riku tore his eyes from the screen where Roxas was making his way toward the mansion, fighting off Nobodies that had invaded the systems from every possible entry point. After all this time, after thinking she was so much like Kairi and then knowing that Naminé was, indeed, her Nobody . . . after knowing about Roxas . . . and Kairi and Sora . . . It was no wonder Naminé was so intent on Roxas's well-being. It was no wonder she wanted him to be content and whole. She wanted him to understand that he wouldn't disappear and find peace in it, because Naminé _loved_ Roxas just as Kairi loved Sora. Riku didn't know how he'd missed this, but there she was, twisting her blonde hair between her fingers like Kairi did with her own fiery red locks. She was biting her lips like Kairi, so much concern in her eyes that were only for one person.

Riku looked back to the screen. He reached his arm around Naminé's back and gave her a slight hug.

"He'll be all right."

She nodded.

Roxas ran through the Marketplace and Tram Common, making his way through the woods to the gate of the mansion. He tugged on the bars several times, and as he did so, Dusks sprung up behind. He frowned and leaned against the gates.

"Don't call me and then lock me out . . ."

"Use the Keyblade," said Riku.

"He'll get it," said Naminé.

He did get it. Seconds later there was a flash as if he was remembering something, and then he called the Keyblade again. With the gates unlocked, he rushed toward the mansion, but more and more Dusks were springing up behind him in pursuit.

"Well this won't do," said DiZ.

"We need to get Roxas alone," said Naminé.

"I'll hold them off while you both take care of Roxas," said Riku. "Hurry, though. I don't know how long I can keep them away."

"Do you need to use the data machine?" said Naminé.

"With all the open entry points in there?" said Riku. He shook his head.

Riku held out a hand, opening a dark portal into the corridors of darkness. He intercepted the Dusks right at the gates just as Roxas made it inside. The iron doors closed behind him and he readied his weapon as they swarmed in to attack. He just had to keep them outside for so long, and then Sora would be awake, and things would really begin again.

-----0-----

There were too many. Dusks, crazy blade-like things Riku had never seen before hiding in the ground, and so many other kinds of Nobodies—more than he even knew existed with swords and cards and guns. He was losing. There were too many at one time to take on without another group sneaking up from behind. There was no choice. He opened a portal to escape back to the computer room, and when he got there, he found Naminé sitting at the monitors, desperately pounding on the keyboard.

"What's going on?" said Riku.

"DiZ! I was trying to talk to Roxas . . . And he . . . Oh, he makes me so mad!"

"I have to go in and talk to him. There're too many Nobodies to hold off. You gonna be okay?"

Naminé huffed.

"Yes . . . Oh, I can't believe it! He locked me out!"

Riku gave her an uneasy glance for a moment before he opened another portal into the computer world. This time the destination was the white room.

DiZ and Roxas stood across from one another. DiZ looked as calm and detached as ever, and Riku didn't even need to turn to see how vexed Roxas was. He tried to focus on the task at hand, but the anger and desperation radiating from Roxas was a sensation he knew too well only last time he'd been blindfolded.

"DiZ, we're out of time," said Riku, trying not to turn and look. "Too many Nobodies."

Before DiZ had time to respond, another portal opened, and Naminé stepped out.

"Roxas, Nobodies like us are only half a person. You won't disappear. You'll be whole!"

"I'll . . . disappear . . .?"

Riku wasn't sure what was really going on, only that Naminé was out of time, too. She couldn't try and coax Roxas into understanding anymore, but DiZ had interfered, and she wasn't backing down without a fight. Riku couldn't stop himself as he turned toward Roxas. He took in the confusion and anger, wanted to reach out and do something, but then DiZ stepped toward Naminé and Riku remembered the mission at hand. This was for Sora. Roxas was half of Sora, and Naminé was right. He would be whole, and better off than he was now.

"No further outbursts!"

DiZ stepped forward and grabbed Naminé, attempting to drag her back through the dark portal. She frantically shook her head and Riku's heart broke watching her being pulled away.

"No, you _won't_ disappear! You'll . . ."

DiZ covered her mouth with his hand. Roxas lunged forward.

"Wait!"

With reluctance, Riku stepped forward, cutting Roxas off as Naminé struggled against DiZ.

"Roxas!" she cried out again, trying to fight DiZ off. "We will meet again. And then we can talk about everything. I may not know it's you, and you may not know it's me. But we will meet again. Someday soon. I promise!"

DiZ was dragging her back through the portal as she called out to him and Riku stepped back toward it. His eyes were on Roxas, his heart with Naminé, and his mind focused on Sora. This was for Sora. Naminé called it being whole. She called it going home. She only wanted him to understand, and now she'd said all she needed to say. There wasn't time for anything else. As Roxas cried out to DiZ, demanding he let her go, they disappeared, and the portal closed. Riku disappeared in his own cloud of dark smoke, and then reappeared in the computer room. DiZ was hovering over Naminé.

"I leave you alone for one second . . . !"

"He had to know the truth!" she cried back at him. "He was troubled! He had to know!"

"DiZ," said Riku. "Let her go."

"She's completely out of control!"

"She's in love with him."

"Preposterous. Nobodies don't have hearts. They can't love."

"But we remember what it feels like!" said Naminé. "I know I do! I remember. Kairi loved Sora, and I love Roxas! He won't be content unless he understands! He needed it, and you need it to! If half of Sora is discontent . . ."

"That's enough," said Riku. "Look, we have to keep an eye on him, right? We have to get him to merge with Sora, and he's on the move again exploring the rest of the mansion. It's not very big. He'll find the computer room soon enough. He'll find Sora sleeping soon enough, and then what? We can't throw away all the hard work we've done over this, right? Whether he needed it or you didn't like it doesn't matter anymore."

Naminé took a breath. DiZ glared at her and took his spot back before the computer monitors. Riku turned to glance at the screen and then touched his fingertips to Naminé's elbow.

"Are you all right?"

"Roxas needed to know . . . right?"

Riku nodded.

"Right."

His exploration of the mansion was short. He went through the library right after the white room, found the note on the table, and revealed the hidden staircase. Roxas followed it right to the basement and the computer room. It didn't take him long to deduce what the computer was all about—his memories as a member of Organization XIII were now complete as he looked upon the screens, including memories of their fight in the World that Never Was—and as DiZ, Naminé, and Riku stood around the monitors in the real Twilight Town, in the alternate world, Roxas called the Keyblade and smashed those monitors to unrecognizable pieces.

Riku had no idea Sora had so many anger issues.

After beating the computer, he continued on, growing closer to the room where Sora slept, but he was intercepted by Dusks, and once defeated—

"Simply amazing, Roxas."

"Axel."

Axel, who from their previous encounter, seemed to have developed some anger issues of his own.

"You really do remember me this time? I'm _so flattered_! But you're too late!"

It wasn't just anger issues, either, because fire erupted around the room, and this time they did engage in battle. DiZ didn't even try to stop it; they just sat back and watched as Naminé chewed on her knuckles. Axel, it seemed, hadn't taken too kindly to being both forgotten and tricked, but Roxas didn't just call one Keyblade this time. His memories of Organization XIII, it appeared, gave him the strength to call two. Axel lost so quickly, Riku kind of felt bad for him.

As the fire dissipated around the room, Axel stood, hunched over, breathing hard. Roxas stood there watching him, regarding him with careful eyes as if recalling another long-lost memory. It was unfortunate, Riku thought, that Axel and Roxas's friendship had to end this way when Riku's best friend was about to come back. It was unfortunate, and it was unfair.

"Axel . . ."

Axel looked up and his eyes met Roxas's. He almost smiled.

"Let's meet again in the next life."

Roxas nodded.

"Yeah. I'll be waiting."

The hint of a smile faded as a corridor of darkness opened, black and purple smoke surrounding him. Axel locked eyes with Roxas one more time.

"Silly. Just because you have a next life . . ."

And then he was gone. Roxas had nothing left to see other than the hallway where Donald and Goofy slept, and then . . .

Roxas regarded the human-like animals fast asleep, drifting in their pods, instantly recognizable to him from the dreams. He looked at the next door with hesitation. It was obvious, really, climatic, tension building, and DiZ was typing fast into the computer again. He stood and walked toward the data projection machine. Riku didn't even need to be told he was going into the system as he stole DiZ's chair and Roxas entered the large, blinding white room where Sora was fast asleep in the center. DiZ was standing before the pod as Roxas approached.

"At last," said DiZ, "the Keyblade's chosen one."

"Who are you talking to?" said Roxas. "Me? Or Sora?"

Riku smiled. The attitude was fitting on Roxas, and the way he said Sora's name with such familiarity, as if they were friends . . . He spared one glace back to Naminé. She, too, was smiling.

"To half of Sora, of course," DiZ answered. "You reside in darkness. What I need is someone who can move about the realm of light and destroy Organization XIII."

"Why? Who are you?"

"I am a servant of the world," said DiZ with a laugh. "And if I'm a servant, then you should consider yourself a tool, at best."

"He's such a freak," said Riku. Naminé chuckled.

"Was that . . . Was that supposed to be a joke?" said Roxas. "'Cause I'm not laughing!"

Roxas called the Keyblade to him and rushed forward, tried to attack, but it simply cut through the data projection leaving DiZ unharmed.

"Tough crowd," said Naminé. Riku snorted.

"My apologies," said DiZ. "This is only a data-based projection."

Roxas actually screamed and started to hack away at DiZ, possibly trying to break him into as sad and sorry state as he had the alternate computer. It only slashed through the data, harmlessly. Naminé and Riku exchanged glances.

"Really tough crowd," said Naminé.

"I had no idea Sora had a part of him that was so unhinged," said Riku.

"You and me both."

The projection of DiZ disappeared and then reappeared behind him.

"And DiZ is a masochist!" said Riku. "Look! Now he's taunting him."

"What a moron."

"Come, over here," said DiZ.

"I hate you so much . . ."

Roxas swung the Keyblade as if to punctuate the point.

"You should share some of that hatred with Sora. He's far too nice for his own good."

Riku nodded.

"It's true."

"He's sweet," said Naminé.

Roxas swung the Keyblade again.

"No! My heart belongs to me!"

He ran forward a second time and tried to attack the projection, but it simply disappeared again, and when it did the pod in which Sora was contained cracked open to reveal him inside. Roxas continued to hold the Keyblade poised and stared up at the face he'd seen so often in his dreams, so like his own, and Riku's heart pulled as he spoke Sora's name with almost affection.

Roxas lowered the Keyblade and stepped closer, his eyes focused on nothing but Sora floating in the pod.

"You're lucky," said Roxas. "Looks like my summer vacation is . . . over."

Riku's eyes stung as Roxas disappeared from the screen. DiZ reappeared in the computer room just as the computer announced, "Restoration Complete."

* * *

**_She lives!_**

**_So I meant to do this post yesterday for the one-year anniversary, but alas, I am chronically late. I apologize._**

**_I've realized for quite some time now that the timeline for this story has become incredibly jacked up despite my best attempts to keep things organized, so for those who may be confused..._**

**_Notes on Story Timeline:_**

**_I assumed (for whatever reason) that Destiny Islands was destroyed circa April (year 1). Cloud and Riku met shortly after, spent that month together, and started dating circa late May. I figured it probably took a few months for the KH1 charade leading into mid September. Riku was gone in the realm of darkness/Castle Oblivion for the rest of September and all of October, and somewhere during this Sora went to sleep. Then he was in Hollow Bastion with Cloud until about March, and this is where I messed up, because it really should have been April, because I figured he was probably with DiZ about a month leading it to mid-May, making it just short of one year that they've been together and Sora in the pod for about seven/eight months, which could be roughly rounded off to a year (since he's supposed to be sleeping for about a year). This has become horribly messed up, I know, and I apologize for that, too. Had I chosen to write this whole story first, it could have been corrected in editting (along with a thousand other little mistakes), but I didn't and so I will take the blame. For the sake of the story, though, in my head it is currently mid-May (year 2). So I guess it should be in your heads, too. Heh._**

**_Well, now. Onward._**


	66. A Matter of Betrayal

**Title**: 100 Steps To Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme: **066. Loyalty

**Word Count**: 3,432

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: If Cloud hasn't done anything wrong, then why does he feel so guilty?

**Disclaimer**: I have no affiliation with Kingdom Hearts whatsoever other than I am a super obsessive fangirl. It all belongs to Disney and Square Enix. I've accepted this, and you should, too.

**Author's Note**: Blame the prompt.

* * *

**_Step Sixty-Six: A Matter of Betrayal_**

Zack was sitting at the bar staring into his glass of amber-colored liquid when Cloud descended the staircase. His considerable good mood from the call with Riku faded a little. Sure, Riku had taken the news about Zack's return better than expected, but now there was Zack to deal with. Cloud stilled in the doorway for several seconds before moving forward. At the sound of his approach, Zack pulled his eyes away to glance at Cloud before returning his stare to his drink. He lifted the glass, took a swig, and set it back on the counter.

"How'd it go?" said Zack.

His tone was even as if careful not to reveal too much emotion, but that kind of tone was so unlike Zack that it spoke volumes. Cloud's mood dropped a few more levels.

"Well . . ."

Cloud watched Zack continue to stare morosely into his drink, the corners of his lips turned down, eyes drooping. He wasn't drunk, but he was certainly upset and for the first time, Cloud really wished he had never learned to read Zack so well. Once upon a time he had thought this a necessity, but now it was heartbreaking. Cloud swallowed, cleared his throat, and took a seat on the stool next to Zack at the bar.

"He's really stressed out about the stuff he's working on with Sora, but I think that'll get better soon. I told him about you."

"And . . .?"

Cloud shrugged.

"He took it better than expected. I mean, he freaked out at first, but then . . . yeah."

Zack's frown deepened.

"You don't have to be so vague about everything. I'm not going to try and off myself or anything. Lifestream would probably just kick me back out, anyway."

This was Cloud's turn to frown, and as he did, he turned his eyes toward Zack again.

"I don't know how to do this yet. It's really awkward."

"I know, but . . . We have to push through it. I don't want you to purposefully be vague or play anything down just because of me. If you do that, then I'm just going to be more uncomfortable. We were friends first. If we're going to be friends again, we're going to have to act like it."

"I know, but somewhere along the way . . ." Cloud sighed. "I know we were friends first, but there came a point where our friendship became secondary to our relationship. I don't know how to make a transition back to friends. I honestly never thought I'd have to."

"That doesn't mean you need to tip-toe around me or treat me like a jilted ex-lover."

Cloud's frown deepened. He stared hard at the counter.

"Zack, you kind of _are _a jilted ex-lover."

Zack smiled. It wasn't a pleasant smile, but rather an awkward twist of features that held hurt and tragic amusement at the almost cruel and unforgiving joke he found in Cloud's statement.

"I can only be jilted if you had done something wrong."

"It feels like I have."

"There's nothing wrong with moving on."

"If you'd have just come back a year ago . . ."

"A year's a long time, Cloud."

"I know, but . . ."

"But then you wouldn't know Riku, and if you're choosing to stay with him . . ." Zack sighed. "If it's not even a choice because you've really moved on, then it's probably a good thing I didn't come back a year sooner." Zack paused and then finished off his drink. He stood and moved behind the bar to fix another. "It's really been a year, huh?"

Cloud shrugged.

"Minus two weeks."

Zack elicited a laugh to match his smile.

"You must really love him."

Cloud nodded. He twisted his fingers together and stared at his hands.

"I do."

"You need a drink, because I almost need a drink for you?"

When Cloud laughed, it was nothing like Zack's empty, hollow one, and the smile it brought to Zack's face actually brightened.

"Yeah. I could definitely use a drink."

"It's good to see you really happy, you know? I don't think I've seen you as happy as you were when he called since before the Heartless."

"I was happy with you."

"You're happier with him."

Cloud's emotions were in a thousand different places as Zack said this and moved to grab another clean glass from behind the bar. He sifted through several bottles of alcohol, picking them up and examining them before shaking his head and replacing the bottle where he found it. Cloud had thought he was happier, told everyone that Riku was bigger than Zack—Riku included, but hearing Zack say it made it sound bad and hurtful. In a way, Cloud felt shamed to feel happier with Riku, as if he were betraying Zack though they were no longer together, and though he'd felt a twinge of this guilt before, when Zack was still dead it was so much easier to swallow. The worst part, perhaps, was that Cloud had noticed, and he was actually trying to hide it.

"I mean, don't get me wrong," said Zack, finally nodding at the approval of one deep-red colored alcohol. "I really don't like hearing about Riku. I really don't like that you're happier with him, but it is good to see you happy. It just . . ."

"Hurts."

Zack nodded and passed Cloud the drink. He grabbed his own and rounded the bar to return his previously vacated seat.

"It's like . . . I don't want to know because I'm jealous. It was like . . . No matter how hard I tried I could never make you happy. I couldn't make you feel good about yourself, and no matter how much I liked you, I couldn't get you to see it."

"I knew you liked me."

"I know. That's not what I'm saying. I couldn't get _you_ to see what was so great about _you_."

Cloud laughed.

"Riku doesn't get me to see anything great about myself, either, Zack. I still don't get it. He just . . ."

"Doesn't make you feel bad about yourself."

"You didn't make me feel bad about myself. I did that on my own."

"That's . . . I was there, you know? When you let the darkness into your heart, I was there. You wanted to be better. You _always _wanted to be better than what you already were because for some reason, I could never convince you that what you already were was more than good enough."

"I wanted to be like you."

"But you aren't, and I _liked_ that about you. I didn't want to date myself. I liked you, but you always wanted more, and I couldn't help you. I couldn't stop it. I just kept hoping that once I got you out of Shinra mansion and back to Midgar, I could help then. That maybe after everything I could help you overcome what had happened, and then . . . I don't know. Apparently I died."

Cloud swallowed.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault."

"Yeah, it kind of is. Do you even listen to yourself? I let the darkness in. You couldn't stop me. I always wanted more."

"No one is at fault here. That's just how you are, and honestly there's nothing wrong with wanting more. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be better. People go to school to get smarter, and people train harder to develop their skills. There's nothing wrong with self-improvement.

"I . . . I think what really happened was that I was just naturally better at the physical stuff than you. It's not that you couldn't do it, Cloud. You could've made SOLDIER without the darkness; you just had to work harder at it than I did."

Cloud shook his head.

"No, I . . . You worked hard, too. Everyone there worked hard. I just didn't have it."

"Exactly. Everyone worked hard, but you worked harder than anyone else because you didn't naturally have it, but you wanted it so badly. That's one of the things I love most about you. You set your mind on a goal, and you'll just keep working at it until you get it. You can have practically no natural talent, but you work so damn hard that it doesn't matter. I . . . I didn't have to work at anything half as hard as you did, and I think that's where I made you feel bad. It frustrated you that you worked so damn hard when I didn't have to and I just coasted on by. And maybe . . . I don't know. I just think that maybe if we hadn't been dating, it would have been less frustrating for you, because in a way I think you felt I was leaving you behind as well."

Cloud sighed.

"I really didn't think like that."

"Maybe not, but I'm sure you felt it. So don't apologize, okay? Maybe it was just bad timing, or all the wrong circumstances. Maybe if things had happened differently I wouldn't have died, you wouldn't have let the darkness in, and we could've worked out. We weren't bad together. At least I don't think we were. Things just got really messed up. Let it be known that love doesn't conquer all."

Cloud closed his eyes and inhaled. He took a swig from his glass. He blew out a breath.

"I'm sorry things happened this way, Zack. I really did love you."

Zack bit his lip and nodded.

"I know."

"I never begrudged you for what you achieved. Not even when I let the darkness in. I just . . ."

Zack offered a soft smile and finished off his second drink. As he moved back around to the other side of the bar for the second time, he gently placed a hand on Cloud's shoulder and gave a light squeeze. It lingered a few seconds longer, smoothed down the expanse of his right arm, and then he retracted his hand with reluctance.

"I really need another drink," said Zack.

Cloud tried to smile, but though his skin was covered the place where Zack's hand had just been burned. His stomach felt queasy as if he'd just allowed something very wrong to happen, whether it was the touch that was a little too affection, lasted a little too long, or the turn of conversation, though, Cloud couldn't be sure. He took the last swig from his glass and pushed it toward Zack.

"Me too. How many is that now?"

"Had two before you got down here, so this is number five."

"You feeling it yet?"

"Oh, yeah, and I appreciate that. I'm kind of a lightweight, now, being that I didn't have a drink for years on end. Death'll do that to you, apparently. Hey, did you ever notice how the Mako makes your senses hyper-sensitive when you're drunk?"

Cloud rubbed his arm.

"Yeah. It's weird. I get a little alcohol in me and I'm suddenly aware of everything around me. Kind of makes me a crazy bastard, too, but I don't know if that entirely has to do with the Mako."

"Probably not."

Zack passed the now-full glass back to Cloud and walked back to his seat.

"You have great balance for a half-drunk person."

"I'm not half-drunk. I'm properly buzzed. After this, though, I probably will be half-drunk. Or maybe three-quarters drunk. Maybe I'm already drunk. I don't know. I don't have to puke, yet."

"That's not drunk, Zack, that's alcohol poisoning."

"Touché. There you go. That's another thing I love about you. You know things like that. It's not very useful, but it's still nice to know. You know so much useless shit."

Cloud snickered.

"Yeah, you're drunk."

"I'm really not. I'm properly buzzed."

"Nice way of saying drunk."

"You think?"

"Maybe not yet, but after that one? Definitely."

"See? You know. Okay, Spiky. If you say I'm almost drunk, then I'll believe you. Also a useless piece of information, but good to know."

"Says the drunk person."

"Oh! And you're funny! That's another thing I love about you. You're so funny . . . I mean, you're kind of funny in a mean way, but it's still funny, and that's my point here." Cloud snorted and shook his head. Zack stared into his drink again, and then looked up. "Maybe I have great balance because of the Mako."

"Maybe. You still thinking about that?"

"A little. Distracts me from thinking about all the things I love about you, because if I do that I'm just going to get depressed. I don't want to get depressed. Being a depressed drunk sucks, so if I think about stupid things I'll start slurring, and maybe then I'll stumble around, and I can be a stupid, funny drunk."

Cloud sighed.

"I'm sorry. I don't . . . I don't want to make you depressed."

Zack took another long swig.

"That's because you're a nice person and not an asshole. You never want to hurt anyone. It kind of fucks you over in the process, but, you know . . . Just another thing I love about you. You care, which is really fucking rare these days."

Zack exhaled, releasing a sound that sounded like a rough cross between a laugh and a cry. He buried his face in his hands. Cloud shifted on the stool and tried to think of something happy, anything that had nothing to do with the situation at hand. He found himself wishing he were sitting anywhere but here at this moment when Zack pulled his hands back and smoothed them over his hair. Zack gripped the back of his neck.

"I don't know how to let you go."

Cloud looked up. He tried to think of something to say to that, but no words came. Zack, however, was not a loss for them, because before Cloud could come up with a response, Zack was back at it.

"I keep trying to figure it out—a way that isn't this painful. I don't want to hear about your new boyfriend, but I don't want to be in the dark about it, either. I want to see you, but every time I do I want to kiss you, and I know I can't. I'm trying so hard not to touch you because I know if I start, I'm not going to be able to stop.

"I didn't even do anything wrong. I was trying to help you—_us_—and in the process, I died. I'm happy that I didn't stay dead, but what am I supposed to do now? Last time I checked I had a boyfriend, and it feels like . . . I _know _what happened and I understand. I don't blame you. I'm happy that you're happy and I want you to have what you want. I'm glad you were able to move on, but . . . It feels like one night I went to bed, and when I woke up you were a thousand miles away with some other guy and completely over us. I hate that he makes you happier than I did because I tried so hard. I really thought we were great together, and I hoped that when we saw each other again that you'd . . . I don't know . . . Not want to be with the new guy anymore.

"I see you now and you're so much like you used to be but you've changed so much, and for the better. You have such a different mentality than you used to. You're really reaching for the light. With Sephiroth. The way you handled things today in Healen. The old Cloud would've been so nervous talking to Rufus Shinra no matter what had happened, but you had so much confidence. It was . . . to tell you the truth, it was kind of sexy seeing you that way. You were never very assertive, and this newfound confidence works so well on you. The unfortunate thing is I feel like your new boyfriend is the reason for it. You finally found something that you were just naturally good at, which I guess is taking care of him. Shouldn't be a surprise considering you're such a fucking _nice_ guy. Tifa keeps saying that you're better for him than he is for you, but I doubt it because I think being good for him is part of what makes him good for you. Makes you feel worthwhile because you're able to take care of things instead of having them taken care of for you. Like you aren't fucking up, and I'm so happy you feel like that, I just wish I could've been the person who did that for you.

"I don't know. Maybe we couldn't ever work out _because _I wanted to take care of you. Maybe you need to be in that dominant position. I just feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions and I'm about to reach the breaking point. I don't know what to do about it, and I hate that I'm talking to you of all people about this because I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I promised myself I wouldn't put this on you, especially when I'm drunk because I don't want to do that to you, you know?"

Cloud raked his fingers through his hair as Zack's voice broke off. He sighed.

"Zack, I . . ."

"No. Don't . . . Don't say anything. Just . . . Just pretend this didn't happen, okay?"

Cloud nodded.

"Sure."

Zack finished off his drink and pushed the empty glass away.

"Do you think we would've had a chance? If I hadn't died? Or . . . would you have been . . ."

"I don't know, Zack."

"Doesn't really matter, does it? This is how it did happen, right?"

Cloud sighed. He tried to ignore the throbbing in his chest and nodded.

"Yeah. Nothing we can do about that now."

Zack sighed. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then Cloud saw Zack watching him from the corner of his eye. Several seconds passed and then Zack brushed a finger across Cloud's cheek, and dipped it behind the curve of Cloud's ear. Cloud bit his lip and looked away. There were boundaries with Zack now—lines that ought not to have been crossed, and this felt like it might have been one of them, but how was he supposed to decide? Would Riku be upset by this interaction—Zack touching Cloud's face with such affection? Cloud figured he probably would, but how could he stop it without offending Zack? Maybe he should excuse himself to the bathroom or something. Just as Cloud tried to find words and opened his mouth to speak them, however, Zack spoke.

"Cloud . . .?"

He really shouldn't have done it—should have realized where Zack's drunken confessions and the touches were leading to, but the question in his voice prompted Cloud's head to turn—to look at the person speaking to him. When he did, though, it was only a matter of seconds, and then Zack's lips were on his, hard and insistent.

It took several moments of Cloud's unmoving lips under Zack's until either one realized what had just happened. Zack pulled back; Cloud sat there, stunned. Their eyes met.

"I'm sorry," said Zack. "I didn't mean . . ."

"I can't do this," said Cloud. "Riku . . . I _just _talked to him. I _just _assured him that everything was going to be okay."

"I know. I didn't . . ."

"I don't . . ."

"I know. I just . . . It could've worked, right? We could've . . ."

"We're over, Zack. I can't go back. I . . . I need to be by myself right now."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm taking Fenrir. Don't wait up for me."

"Cloud . . ."

"I'll be all right. We're . . . We're friends. I just . . . I need some time to be by myself and unwind before I go to bed and I can't do that here with you."

"But you've been drinking."

"Apparently I now handle my alcohol better than you."

"Are you mad?"

Cloud closed his eyes and stood, heading for the garage.

"I don't know what I am right now."

With that, he was gone.

* * *

**_Hee. Nothing to fear. I'm almost certain this matter can be resolved in the 34 (yes, there are still 34, which could be a sizable story itself) chapters to go. Don't kill me._**

**_If anyone's still got any song ideas, please don't hesitate to contact me. The FST is coming along surprisingly well, but I love getting input._**

**_Also, once again, I know there are CloudxRiku writers other than me and Jediempress (and readers, too!) and have yet to figure out when you will come join the LiveJournal community. ::beams:: It's totally free, easy to use, and I've issued a Christmas/Holiday challenge. I like fluffy (or angsty) holiday stories. You _know_ I'll be writing one (I've got the title in mind already and everything). And the community is going to have an accompanying website archiving all CloudxRiku fanart and stories once I get around to it, so join! It'll be super fun! That'll probably be where I post the FST anyway. The link is my homepage on my author profile now so it's easier to find._**

**_In commemoration of the one-year anniversary (plus a day ::shame::) I've included a little story here as a post-script written by my very best friend. She was on a sugar high and found it very funny, and I've been saving this little gem of purposefully craptastic writing for this occasion, so please enjoy._**

* * *

**BONUS BAD STORY (yes, it's meant to be bad):**

Once upon a time there was a pretty boy named Riku. He liked to party, yo. Then one day he met Cloudy. Cloudy was sexy. However, Cloudie wasn't much of a partier. Riku was sad. He wanted to dance all night long with Cloudie. Cloudie wanted to drink his sorrows away and just fuck that pretty party boy.

Riku was offended. Damnit he was far more than just a pretty party boy. He was a man, or a boy or a faggot, therefore a woman. And he had needs and wants. Like to dance.

Riku danced over to that sexy Cloudie and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Cloudie was forced to his feet. Riku pushed himself onto Cloudie and started to move his hips to the thundering beat. Cloudie was unable to resist the temptation to dance.

And so they danced. They swayed. They bopped. They even did that chicken. Yo. Riku was full filled and Cloudie was horny and drunk. Riku put out.

They were both happy ever after.

Oh yeah, that Sephiroth guy was watching the whole time. .

Ha ha ha.

Poor Cloudie.

Riku knew though. He thought it was kinky.

* * *

**_Love to everyone who's been with me the past year and those who've joined along the way._**

**_This is possibly my longest relationship to a story ever. It's been a pleasure and I do hope this doesn't continue for another year._**

**_Thank you to everyone._**

**_-D_**


	67. Of Conflict and Hostilities

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**:067. Final

**Word Count**: 6,340

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Sora's awake and the war begins. Riku has two enemies in sight: Organization XIII and that effing Zack Fair.

**Disclaimer**: I have no affiliation with Kingdom Hearts whatsoever other than I am a super obsessive fangirl. It all belongs to Disney and Square Enix. I've accepted this, and you should, too.

**Author's Note**: Ahem. Just read. We will have words at the end of this chapter.

_**Step Sixty-Seven: Of Conflict and Hostility**_

Riku stared at the screen displaying Sora's progress for several seconds. No thought ran through his mind other than the visual confirmation that only a few rooms away the pod Sora had slept peacefully in for almost eight months was opening. Sora was awake. His brain and body felt sluggish and distant until he felt a harsh tug on his arm and he met Naminé's eyes. She was wearing an insistent expression as if she'd been trying to catch his attention for a while now.

"We have to move."

That was when it really sunk in. Sora was _awake_, which meant Sora was mobile. There was no way out of the mansion from the pod room other than through the computer room, and they couldn't be here when that happened. DiZ, Naminé, and Riku...they were all behind the scenes. They were to help and not be seen unless purposefully shown to him. It would raise too many questions, and looking the way he did...there would be too much to explain.

Riku nodded.

DiZ entered a few final keystrokes into the computer and moved for the stairs. Riku watched him go, directed a final look at the door to the pod room, and closed his fingers around the cell phone in his pocket, vaguely registering he'd have to leave all those changes of clothing behind in his haste to leave before following after DiZ.

It all happened in a blur, fleeing the place he'd just started to get comfortable in and moving almost mechanically behind DiZ, before Naminé, through Twilight Town. His stomach clenched, mind moving like sludge, but his nerves were on overdrive, moving faster than his limbs could handle leaving a jittery feeling of not being able to physically keep up with how quickly his body wanted to go.

The most he could process of his emotions at that moment was a feeling of grandeur—that something big was starting, though the path had already been set in motion weeks ago when Riku first left Hollow Bastion. It seemed like a far off memory now. He could hardly believe such little time had passed since he'd appeared as himself and been with Cloud. It was around this time as he moved through the Tram Common that Riku remembered Naminé's urging to go back there now, to see Leon about the enigmatic Zack's return and to tie up the loose ends from their quasi-fight came to him.

"DiZ," Riku called out, but DiZ kept moving, putting as much distance between them and Sora as he could in what little time there was.

His chest pulled tight and his breath hitched. That distance with Sora had been growing since he left the Island. It was the worst in Hollow Bastion, when Sora had proclaimed his friends were his power and Riku's heart was almost lost. He almost had that distance closed—it was within his grasp—but then it was all over as the door to darkness closed. Watching Roxas, seeing Sora in that pod, had almost made Riku feel close to Sora again, but now Sora was awake, and that distance was there again, growing stronger with every step he took away from the old mansion.

"DiZ," Riku called again, this time a little louder, but DiZ still either didn't hear him or didn't respond.

He had been resolved to let Naminé go—DiZ seemed to have almost forgotten about that 'disposed of' thing—but as he glanced back to her, it became so much harder. He knew she had to go back—back to Kairi where she belonged, and all things considered Riku really was a big boy. He was perfectly capable of handling matters without her assistance. He was more than capable of making his own decisions and being resolved without her guidance. Riku just hadn't realized how much he'd come to depend on both these things with DiZ since their reunion.

"DiZ!" Riku shouted this time, unable to control his volume and wanting nothing more than to be heard. DiZ stilled and turned.

"What?"

The way he said it flared annoyance up inside him again as he tried not to scowl. DiZ had a way of being curt—almost rude—that just grated on his nerves (and not even close to the way Yuffie grated on Cloud's). Riku huffed.

"You're going to the World that Never Was, right? To check up on Organization XIII?"

"Correct," said DiZ. "We have to discover what they're up to and guide Sora along the way. That irksome redhead is bad enough."

Riku almost smiled. As much as DiZ hated him, he really was becoming awfully fond of Axel.

"I agree, and I'll meet you there, but there's something I have to do first. Loose ends I need to tie up."

"But..."

"This isn't negotiable. You go on ahead, scope out their stronghold, and come up with a strategy. I'll only be a day. Two at the most."

DiZ considered him. Riku steeled himself, refusing to budge under the scrutiny. Ansem wouldn't budge, and as far as DiZ knew, Ansem was exactly who Riku was. He needed to play the part.

"All right, but first you need to tie up some loose ends here." DiZ motioned to Naminé. She released a small gasp and ducked behind Riku. "She needs to be disposed of and we can't just let Axel wander around back to Organization XIII. He will need to be destroyed."

Riku felt Naminé tense behind him. The fury that would have boiled his blood could not manifest, however, because the mention of Axel was too strange, too abrupt that all Riku could do was blink and say, "I thought he was already gone. Roxas took care of him."

"He survived and snuck off to Sunset Hill here in the real Twilight Town. Do what you need to do, but first take care of those two. I'll see you in the World that Never Was."

With sheer trust—without bothering to even ensure that Riku followed through on his task—DiZ disappeared through a dark portal. Part of Riku's mind rejoiced in that hope that he could somehow get out of this, and then he felt Naminé's hand on his arm. He turned.

"I—"

"It's okay," she said. The way her arms were wrapped around her body suggested otherwise as she looked away, voice trembling. Riku wanted to grab her, shake her, demand to know why she could believe he was even capable of getting rid of her, but he knew the answer to his great shame already. It was there in his foreign appearance birthed from the darkness in his heart. She cleared her throat and tried to meet his eyes, but they darted back to her feet. "I'm not afraid of my fate. It's probably for the best..."

"But Kairi—"

"I wasn't born like other Nobodies. She can exist without me. I'm not even a real Nobody; I don't have any real place to go back to. I don't even know if I can become whole with Kairi."

"But—"

"I've already done what I needed to do. I'm just sorry about Axel."

Riku frowned. Axel. He was an enigma—an entity completely foreign to Riku's understanding. He was supposed to be a Nobody, but he was so animated. He seemed full of so much emotion from anger, happiness, and disappointment. He called Roxas his best friend. He tried to follow Organization XIII's orders, but he did it with such poor resolve, loyalty still tied to Roxas and whatever he thought he felt.

"I don't get Axel," said Riku. "He seems harsh, but then..."

"Axel really cared for Roxas," said Naminé. "He's started to care for Sora, too, but I understand DiZ's perspective. Axel has come to a point where it doesn't matter how he feels about Sora, because Sora's taken Roxas away. It's possible that nothing will stop Axel from turning Sora back into a Heartless." Riku looked up, his nerves twisting. Naminé lowered her head. "But then, maybe...Maybe Axel would do the right thing even if it isn't through the most admirable means."

"How do you know so much about him?"

This time Naminé did look up and gave him that sad, faraway smile.

"Castle Oblivion. His allegiance to Organization XIII has always been questionable. For awhile I thought he was opposed to their superior and was aligned with the rebels. He had Zexion killed—"

"Zexion?" said Riku. "That was—"

"He was in Castle Oblivion. Tried to fool you with the fake Destiny Islands and—"

"And you saved me from losing myself in the light."

"Axel had him eliminated. And he assisted Sora. He wanted Marluxia destroyed."

Riku couldn't speak as his thoughts wandered back to Castle Oblivion. It seemed so long ago when he first met Organization XIII and learned of their threat to the order of things. It was before Nobodies, before Roxas, when he first met Naminé though she was hardly important to him at the time. Now here he was with these nasty orders to dispose of Naminé and destroy Axel. Knowing what he now knew, he couldn't conceive doing it. It wasn't as if he hadn't killed before—kidnapping princesses had been no easy task—but he had changed along the way. Something inside him just didn't care anymore about doing what was ordered for a sliver of help. As he stood there pondering, trying to sort out the feelings of confliction and reassemble them into a plan a familiar figure in a black, hooded coat scrambled from the side alley in the direction of the train station, head turning every way as if looking for something. Something or...someone...

"The King..." Riku muttered to himself before he'd even properly registered just what that meant or bothered to even question why King Mickey would be wandering around Twilight Town. Of course, all things considered, Riku really didn't need to wonder why the King was there. Surely he was looking for Sora, and...Riku reached into his pocket, fingers closing around the munny pouch and blue crystal he'd nicked from Roxas. He turned his eyes back to Naminé who was looking after the direction the king had gone, too.

"Go after him," she said. "I'm sure there're things you need to talk about."

He hesitated, oscillating attention between where Mickey had disappeared and where Naminé stood. Riku took a breath and nodded. If he was going to grow up and take action instead of feeling so torn all the time while other people picked up the pieces, now was probably as good a time as any.

"Okay. Naminé, I want you to go to Sunset Hill. Detain Axel until I meet you both there. I'll let you know what I've decided to do about you both then."

She met his eyes, sadness still in them as the corners of her lips tugged downward into a small frown. She took several steps back, and Riku nodded as if to urge her on, and then she turned, running back to Tram Common and the underground passageways that led to Sunset Hill. Riku turned and took a breath. He didn't want King Mickey to see him this way, but there were things that needed to be explained. He wanted Roxas to have the crystal. The extra munny was sure to only help Sora along the way, and perhaps Mickey had learned of things on his own travels that Riku should be informed of.

As Riku followed the hill around curves in the pathway toward the train station, he reminded himself that there was no shame in his position. This appearance was a byproduct of doing what was needed to help Sora. To fight darkness Riku had to draw on his own powers of darkness. There was nothing wrong with that. Cloud had said he was proud, that there was nothing else Riku could have done, and certainly Mickey would feel the same. Riku wasn't on the wrong side this time.

The area outside the station entrance was empty, but Mickey had come this way; Riku was sure of it. He glanced around the area, looking for a sign of the king but none came. His eyes roved the area he knew so well, and there was the possibility of looking inside the station, but would Mickey wait there for Sora to come around? What if he were looking for someone else—Riku himself, or DiZ, who had tapped them both in Castle Oblivion? If he were Mickey, he wouldn't be hanging around in the station.

Riku looked up, exasperated, sighing, and then his eyes roved the skyline of Twilight Town to fall on the station tower. That was it. If he were Mickey, looking for Sora or any of the above mentioned people and was having little luck, he'd keep an eye out on the station tower. It really was a great place to keep a lookout, and had Hayner and friends not used it so frequently for their ice cream eating escapades he might have used it himself when keeping an eye on Roxas.

The entrance to the station tower was through the station itself so Riku headed up the stairs and inside the glass doors. Near the back was a plain, wooden door, and inside it, a long climb to the clock tower, steps wrapping around in squares straight to the top. His thighs were already aching when he reached the first door up the stairs to find that Mickey had gone higher than simply the station roof. He moved onward, gripping the railing tighter as he reached the top trying to ignore the burn in his legs from the steep climb. At the top he threw the door open and there was Mickey in mid-jump from the sudden, startling entrance.

In retrospect Riku realized the narrow station tower ledge was probably not the best place to do it, break down crying and throw himself on the majestic mouse, but he couldn't think it through before it was done. Even if he could have, it probably would have gone the same way considering Riku didn't know the tears were coming until they were already there. Mickey just stood there, stiff, patting Riku's back, and then he jumped back a little.

"Riku?!" said King Mickey. The only response the poor king got was a miserable, little nod as Riku tried to calm himself. He couldn't even fight, barely jerked away, as Mickey grabbed the black coat's hood and pushed it back. He released a barely audible gasp. "Oh, Riku...What happened?"

Riku sniffed and rubbed his nose.

"It's a long story and we don't have time for it. I ran into DiZ. I had to get Roxas."

"I know. Leon told me all about it."

"I had to get Roxas. He was with them. Organization XIII. I had to get Roxas. So I used the darkness and now..."

Mickey nodded, but didn't look surprised.

"I was afraid this was going to happen."

"You...What?"

"I thought this might happen, but there's no need to cry. You're okay, aren't cha?"

"There was nothing I could do. I had to use the darkness. I'm sorry. I..."

Mickey gave him a warm smile and gently pushed Riku back to look in his eyes.

"You're still Riku inside. All this means is that you were willing to do anything for Sora. You might be using the darkness, but you're doing it for the light."

Riku blinked away the last of the saline swimming in his eyes. He knew it, had heard it before, and had even tried to rationalize his actions to himself with the same sentiments, but coming from King Mickey was—as it had been in Castle Oblivion—the best comfort. It was more real—more honest. His breathing eased as he sat back.

"So I guess you're here for Sora."

"You betcha," said Mickey, grinning. "I wanted to see how his progress was and check up on you."

"Sora's awake," said Riku. "It just happened. He's probably wandering around Twilight Town now wondering where he is."

"We better make this short then. The train's already here and I have to send him to see Yen Sid, my old teacher, to catch him up on the Nobodies. I'd do it myself but I'm looking for Ansem the Wise."

Riku frowned.

"Ansem the Wise?" Riku almost scoffed. "Mickey...I'm...He's dead, remember? I look like him."

Mickey did nothing but stare, blank-faced at Riku for several moments. Riku almost thought the king had lost his mind between Hollow Bastion and Twilight Town, but then his eyes lit up and he nodded.

"That's right. You don't know. After you left Hollow Bastion I did some research in the castle library and went to the World that Never Was myself to learn more about Organization XIII. That's when I remembered that back before everything started I went to meet with Ansem the Wise. I forgot what he looked like, but when I was in the library I came across a photograph."

"I'm sorry but I don't see where you're going with this."

"Ansem wasn't Ansem the Wise. I haven't figured out who he was yet, but he wasn't the real Ansem. He was just going around telling everybody he was. I know I've seen him before in Hollow Bastion. That's why I got him confused with Ansem the Wise. The Ansem Sora defeated—the one you look like—was that guy's Heartless."

It was as if Mickey had just tied Riku's spirit to a brick and dropped it in the oceans of Atlantica. The story was far-fetched, but so were Heartless and Nobodies. Ansem wasn't Ansem. Ansem was just some random guy's Heartless? Riku was possessed and fell into the realm of darkness, couldn't beat the darkness in his heart, and now looked like _this_ because of some random guy's _Heartless_?

"Are you sure?" said Riku. "A Heartless?"

"I'm sure," said Mickey. "The leader of Organization XIII is his Nobody. That must be why all those guys in Castle Oblivion thought you smelled like their superior."

Riku's head may as well be under water with his spirit the way it was swimming, full of questions, but none of them clear enough to formulate. He took a breath and tried to process the information. Mickey turned away, glancing down at the Twilight Town streets, and gave a little squeal.

"There's Sora, Donald, and Goofy. I've got to go."

"Wait..." said Riku. "Here." Riku pulled the crystal from his pocket and opened the munny pouch, dropping the little blue orb inside. "I took these from Roxas. I want Sora to have them."

"Golly," said Mickey. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Sure. I just...I'm going to Hollow Bastion next and then the World that Never Was to meet up with DiZ and keep an eye on the Organization. Maybe I'll do some research on my own. You go ahead. I just wanted to see you before I left."

Mickey nodded and took the pouch from Riku's outstretched hand. For a moment he felt empty, heavier without those objects that tied him to Roxas's outdated existence. Riku took another breath and swallowed but his throat remained tight, his chest constricted, breathing shallow. Mickey looked torn, eyes worried as he wavered glances between Riku and Sora below.

"Go on," said Riku. "Just...Promise me something." Mickey looked concerned but said nothing. "Promise me that you won't tell anyone about this," he said, motioning to himself. "Promise that Sora won't find out what happened to me in the darkness. I want to help him; I'll do anything to help him..."

"I know you will, Riku."

"But I don't want him to know what happened to me. Please."

He could have been overstepping his boundaries. Mickey was the king of Disney Castle. Mickey was a big deal and Riku—Riku was just an outcast from the darkness, but Mickey hadn't given up on him. Mickey was supposed to be his friend. Riku didn't think he could bear if Sora knew, and now here he was trying to appeal to the king's compassion. It wasn't a demand, but a plea, and Mickey seemed to register this as he regarded Riku and finally nodded.

"I promise. And I'll keep you updated," said Mickey, and then he was gone through the door.

Riku turned and directed his eyes down to the ground below where Sora, Donald, and Goofy were being swarmed by Nobodies. He closed his eyes for a moment, trusting Sora to take care of himself now that he was live and mobile, and Mickey to take care of the rest. He opened a dark portal beside him with the intent of heading to Sunset Hill.

-----0-----

Of all things to do while awaiting fate Riku found Naminé at the top of Sunset Hill sitting poised and leafing through her sketchbook. Axel stood by her, gazing out at the direction of the train tracks. She looked up at Riku's approach, barely smiled, and looked back down.

"He's gone," said Axel, leaning over the railing where Roxas had seen the 'ghost train.' Somehow, intuitively, Riku just knew Axel was talking about Sora, and with Sora, Roxas.

"I suppose we're next," said Naminé.

"You don't have any place to go, do you?" said Axel. "And you don't have anywhere to go back to, right?"

Riku had decided at this point that the worst thing someone could ever be was not as he was—fallen from light and darkness, walking the line—but a Nobody. They lived empty lives, yearning for something more, and their plight was so real, so heart-wrenchingly unendurable that it put Riku's own pain to shame. He had promised to come back with answers, but he was more torn than ever, seeing no point for either of them to go on, but unwilling to destroy the mild chance that they, too, could become whole again one day.

"Things like that don't exist for guys like us," said Axel, breaking Riku's thought process and turning. He barely registered Riku's presence. Naminé must have told him Riku was coming. She didn't even look up, staring at one of her drawing of Sora and Roxas.

"Hmm..." said Naminé. "That's right. There is no place for me. Still...I have some places I want to go...I have some people I want to see."

Kairi. Destiny Islands. Sora. All of these things and more popped into Riku's head as Naminé said this and his own desire to keep Naminé around flared up inside of him.

"Yeah," said Axel, "same here." He glanced over to Riku, acknowledging his presence for the first time since he arrived and flashed that familiar, asinine smirk so similar to Riku's own. Sora as himself or Roxas had a bad habit of making friends with people on the arrogant side. "So why don't you just let us go? That old guy told you to get rid of us, didn't he?"

Naminé looked up startled and almost as if this was the first time she'd heard it. Just letting them go, off to do whatever they wished hadn't really occurred to Riku, and he'd hate to think what DiZ would do if he found out even if it probably could compare to what Maleficent might have done, but Riku couldn't help it. These Nobodies just got under his skin, tugging at his emotions. He swallowed.

"Go," said Riku, his voice thick.

"You don't think you should accomplish your goal right here?" said Axel. Riku looked over to him.

"I owe you two," said Riku.

"You do?" said Naminé.

"Yes. For what happened at Castle Oblivion, and for everything."

"Okay, thanks then," said Axel, as if he were in a hurry to get out of there before Riku changed his mind. He opened a dark portal and looked at Naminé, waiting. She glanced at Axel, directed a long look at Riku, and then glanced at her drawing.

"I'm sorry," she said, standing. Riku swallowed, shut his eyes, opened them again, and turned to see Naminé first, and then Axel, walk into the darkness. The portal closed behind them.

"You never did anything wrong," said Riku to no one. He opened a portal of his own for Hollow Bastion.

-----0-----

The positive side to his inability to get Naminé and Axel out of his head was that it left no room to worry about what would happen when he arrived. He was vaguely aware that Sora was out there somewhere, maybe still with Yen Sid, and could arrive at Hollow Bastion anytime, but there were things Riku needed to sort out. There were personal things that needed to be taken care of for the sake of eliminating some of the stress from his life.

When he arrived the first thing Riku noticed was that coming back to Hollow Bastion felt something like going home. Instead of associating this place with Maleficent, though, this time he associated it with all the friends he'd made—Leon, Tifa, Yuffie, Aerith, Cid—and Cloud. It was a good homecoming only hindered by his appearance and the worry of what Leon would say—Leon who had become a brother to him—when he saw him again. The second thing he noticed was the lack of construction in the market and all the completed housing. There were new businesses. He even noticed a school as he wandered the familiar streets toward the house that still felt like home.

There were many other places Riku could have checked for Leon but by Riku's calculations it was late afternoon, bordering evening, and if Leon wasn't home yet, he should be soon. If his calculations were even more on point, then even if this was the first place Sora showed up, he wouldn't make it here until tomorrow noon by Gummi. Comfortable that everything should go smoothly save for his confrontation with Leon Riku opened the door to the house.

Leon was already at the counter smoking. He looked up at the entrance, mildly interested, probably expecting Aerith or Yuffie. Riku just stood there, awkward, unsure of what to say, but wanting to throw himself on Leon as he had done with Mickey and just bawl his eyes out until the strong, unyielding emotion passed. He restrained, settling for a few more awkward steps into the house as he closed the door behind him. Leon didn't move; he barely lifted his right eyebrow.

"Can I help you?" said Leon.

Riku shifted. It felt like forever but just like yesterday that he'd been living here everyday. Seeing Leon again was almost refreshing—encouraging to be reminded that his old life was not completely gone. He was still Riku on the inside even if everything on the outside had changed.

"Hey," said Riku. He knew an explanation would have been better, but Leon's face changed at the soft, simple way Riku had spoken anyway.

"Riku?"

He shifted again, uncomfortable in every posture, arms and legs feeling too long and awkward.

"Yeah."

"What are you...I mean...?" Leon sighed and held out his cigarette pack. "Want a smoke?"

Riku laughed, unable to control himself at the absurdity of the statement. Only Leon would go months without seeing a friend, fight with the same friend over the phone, discover the fight was about the darkness consuming said friend from the friend's big-mouthed boyfriend, and then when they did see each other again, be so wonderful as to offer the friend a cigarette. The release felt good—to just _laugh_ after all the tension he'd built over seeing Leon again, but it didn't feel as good as he thought he would. It was just another emotional upswing guaranteed to plummet again. For now, anyway, he allowed himself this moment of solace and accepted Leon's invitation, joining him at the counter and taking the offered package.

"You have no idea how much I'd like a smoke right now."

Leon passed the lighter over and remained silent as Riku lit up. He tapped his fingertips against the countertop.

"So...What brings you to Hollow Bastion? Roxas make an escape or something?"

Riku snorted.

"He wishes. No...ah...Sora's awake and..." Riku sighed, fiddled with the lighter, and passed it back to Leon. "I have to go meet DiZ in the World that Never Was to track Organization XIII. Help Sora out and everything. I just wanted to come here first and...apologize. Yeah. For that conversation we had over the phone. I was upset and irrational and..."

"Don't worry about it," said Leon. "I wasn't innocent, either. I shouldn't have been so pushy with you. Cloud told me what happened, and..."

"Yeah. He mentioned that he spilled to you."

"Yeah, so...It wasn't all you. I didn't understand and I wasn't patient enough..."

"No. You didn't do anything wrong. I really shouldn't have been such a jerk. You were just concerned and I was too upset to care."

"It's okay. It was both our faults."

Riku sighed.

"Maybe."

"Don't make me smack you. Take some of the blame, let me take the rest, and we're even. I'm not mad at you. I was never mad at you. You were scared and defensive. I was pushy. Let's just put it behind us and move on."

Riku huffed, but Leon looked so insistent he could only nod.

"Okay."

"Okay. So...Is that it or is there something else?"

Lifting a hand Riku brushed his fingertips along the edge of his hood. He played with the material for several moments while staring at the counter and bringing his cigarette to his lips for a deep inhale. Leon lit up another as soon as he put his first out. Riku sighed and pushed the hood back.

"Well I needed to get this out of the way, too," said Riku. "So there you go. You were right. I was embarrassed and I know Cloud told you, but this is why. And before you tell me this isn't what Ansem the Wise looked like, I already know. Mickey let me in that profound revelation a few hours ago."

Once again Leon didn't say anything, only stared, taking short, quick drags off his cigarette. He tapped a long ash into the tray, stared at the countertop, and blinked a few times.

"Well..." he finally said, "I wasn't really expecting that, but..."

"Cloud already told you."

"It's just different in person."

Riku sighed.

"Yeah."

"You don't have to be embarrassed. Cloud told me what happened."

"I know."

"It's just going to be weird getting used to." Riku made an odd sound in the back of his throat and moved to put the hood up again, but Leon caught his arm and shook his head. "Don't. It's okay. There's nothing to be ashamed of and if I'm going to get used to it, I'm going to have to see it."

"Why? I don't want to see it. It isn't me. I hate it."

"Which is understandable, but..." Leon sighed and moved his eyes up the length of Riku's arm, along the expanse of his neck, and then met him at the eyes. "I still see you there. And I didn't expect that either, but...It doesn't look like you. Not at all. But your expressions, mannerisms, the way you carry yourself, and your eyes have always been expressive, but they are even now, too. That's all still there so...Seeing you there makes it easier."

"Cloud said he can see me in it, too."

"Well it's the truth. He wasn't just saying it to make you feel better. And it does make it easier. Weirder, but easier as well." Riku shifted in his chair and looked away, continuing to puff on his cigarette for a distraction at least if not for the nicotine dependency. "I will get used to it. It just means you're going to have to visit frequently so it happens faster."

Riku snorted.

"You're just hot for me. Don't make excuses."

Leon laughed and Riku felt the tension break. He smiled.

"You caught me. Especially right now. That Ansem...Ansem who isn't Ansem? I don't know. Is that right?"

"Yeah. I'm guessing it's a long story, but that's the gist."

"Yeah, well, him? He's dead sexy."

"I know. He did a lot for my already stunning good looks, didn't he?"

"Definitely. Just needs to lay off the self tanner a little. He's starting to look a little orange."

Riku's mouth fell open and he slapped the counter.

"I know! Isn't it horrible?"

Leon laughed and shook his head.

"It really is." He paused and tapped the counter again. "It's good to have you here. I missed you. I'd call but we know how that goes."

"I'm a brat and you're an asshole?"

"Right."

Riku sighed.

"You can call me again when I leave. I do want to talk to you. Obviously. Or I wouldn't be here. But yeah...I'd like that. If you called me."

Leon nodded.

"Okay. Maybe I will. You can call me too, you know?"

"Yeah."

"So how long are you staying?"

"Just overnight. Have to meet DiZ."

"Right."

"It was actually kind of out of my way to come here but our fight's been really bothering me, and I knew Cloud told you about this so I've wanted to see you anyway, but..."

"But there's more. I figured. Usually is."

"Yeah, well, I talked to Cloud last night..."

Leon visibly tensed at this. Riku frowned and cocked his head.

"Is that right?"

"Yeah. I need your advice because...Well...Yeah. Basically I'm freaking out about this Zack thing. I'm not comfortable with it, and I'm fucking terrified. And now Cloud's going to go run off and I'm going to be alone, and...Yeah. You know him better than anyone, and I know he tells you everything, so..." Riku sighed. "I couldn't even sleep last night thinking about it. I'm scared that Cloud doesn't really know what he wants. That it's just a matter of time. Zack was so important to him."

Riku's voice had become very tight as he said this, as if he wanted to cry but was trying to remain tough. Leon sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"This is why I told him not to tell you," Leon muttered under his breath.

Riku looked up and scowled.

"What?"

"I told him not to tell you but he was so concerned with not keeping secrets from you..."

Riku's eyebrows rose.

"You told him not to tell me? What? You don't think I should know?"

Leon sighed.

"Don't take it the wrong way. It's not like I think you shouldn't know. It just wasn't a big deal. Zack was drunk and Cloud didn't do anything wrong. It meant absolutely nothing to him. So, no, I really didn't think it was necessary to worry you over something that meant nothing." Riku's eyes darkened to an angry, murderous tint. Leon sighed again. "If you want my advice it's don't worry about it. It really meant nothing. Cloud loves you. He's resolved to be with you. The only way he wants to be associated with Zack is as a friend. Nothing more. And I have known Cloud for years so you can trust me when I say that I've never seen him more assured of what he wants. Take comfort in that. He's in it for the long run whether you look this way or not. Zack's just having a hard time accepting that."

Riku cleared his throat.

"Please excuse me while I ask you what the fuck you're talking about."

Leon visibly paled.

"What are _you_ talking about? You said you talked to Cloud last night."

"Yeah. He told me Zack was the fucking undead. I'm interested in what he didn't fucking tell me."

"Son of a bitch."

"Yeah."

"Fuck."

"Keep going."

"Cloud's going to fucking kill me."

"You're almost there."

Leon swallowed.

"Zack kissed him. Cloud stopped him. He was drunk—Zack, I mean. Cloud didn't respond. He said he shoved Zack off of him and left. He only called me for advice on whether or not to tell you because—"

Riku held up a hand and tried to ignore the queasy feeling in his stomach.

"Wait. Back up. Zack did what?"

"It really wasn't anything. Cloud didn't initiate it, he didn't want it, and he's not going to let it happen again. I told him not to tell you because it wasn't important. At least not to Cloud. It didn't mean anything to him other than he needs to be on his guard around a depressed and drunken Zack. Well, that and he was upset because it was going to upset you. But you shouldn't be upset. I mean..." Leon huffed. "It's okay if you're upset. Perfectly normal if you want to be upset, but you shouldn't be upset with Cloud. He really didn't do anything wrong. If I were you I wouldn't be mad at him. I'd pretty much hate Zack right now, but he's going through a hard time. It really is understandable. But understandable or not, it's perfectly okay if—"

Riku's hand clenched on the counter.

"I'm gonna slit his throat."

Leon swallowed again.

"Who?"

"Zack. I'm going to slit his throat."

"Yeah. Right. It's perfectly normal if you want to do that. You _shouldn't_. Murder isn't ever a good option."

"I'm going to slit his throat and laugh while he bleeds."

"I can see you're upset right now. That's okay. Let it out."

"It really didn't mean anything to Cloud?"

"Absolutely nothing."

Riku nodded, looking but not seeing.

"Okay then."

Riku reached in his pocket, pulled out his cell phone, and flipped it open.

"What are you doing?" said Leon.

"Calling Cloud. I promised him we'd talk tonight."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"It's not like I'm going to slit _his _throat."

Leon bit his lip and lit another cigarette as Riku declined the offered pack, dialed, and held the phone to his ear.

* * *

**_Let's not talk about how long it's been since I've updated, shall we?_**

**_It's not (entirely) my fault. There were many contributing factors including: My monitor broke; I moved; I got a new job; Final Fantasy VIII came in my mailbox for Christmas (I swear); the blood draining from my sinuses; and the rest is my fault._**

**_Anyway..._**

**_Sorry. I really, truely am. I admit most of my avoidance had to do with being so depressed lately and I couldn't handle the angst of this story. But I'm feeling much better now so I'm back and ready to roll._**

**_On another note I issued a challenge for Cloud/Riku day on May 20thover at my LJ community so please check it out. Message me if you need details._**

**_On another other note in honor of Cloud/Riku day since I think I've been named the Cloud/Riku official administrator and to show my appreciation for everyone who reads and reviews my stories, goes to my community, and is just in general awesome, I am going to do something I NEVER (okay, I've done it, like, once, and poorly with great reluctanceat that) do._**

**_I'm taking requests._**

**_I'm going to write what someone else would like to read from me._**

**_Here's the deal, though, to keep me from being swamped and still have time to write for this story. I'm only going to do two requests. It has to be Cloud/Riku. I will do any side pairings. I will have the stories ready and post by May 20th. BUT I'm only doing two. So PM me. Email me. Make it a good story because I'm going to pick my two favorites and actually write them as gift fics._**

**_(Okay, I hope I'm going to do two. If they're all really good I might end up doing them all. Scratch my previous request. Don't make them _too_ good.)_**

**_So yes. Please contact me with requests for gift fics. I will at least do two._**

**_My resolve is diminishing already._**

**_Going to bed before I bump it up to three._**

**_Love you all and I really appreciate everyone who reads and/or reviews this chapter. I know it's been an obnoxious amount of time. At least I'm not feeling all depressed anymore, right?_**

**_Right._**


	68. Of Redheads and Theatrics

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 068. Truth

**Word Count**: 7,718

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Nothing had been quite typical of Cloud since he met Riku.

**Disclaimer**: I have no affiliation with Kingdom Hearts whatsoever other than I am a super obsessive fangirl. It all belongs to Disney and Square Enix. I've accepted this, and you should, too.

**Author's Note**: I would say this much crazy drama doesn't happen to any one person in such a short amount of time, but then 2008 came and now I disagree. I sympathize with Cloud. I really do.

* * *

**_Step Sixty-Eight: Of Redheads and Theatrics_**

In all honesty he was probably being melodramatic. Overdramatic. Some kind of dramatic that was superfluous and unnecessary, or at least that's what Leon, Aerith, Tifa, or one of his other five million friends too nosy to mind their own business would probably say. To Cloud, however, he felt perfectly justified to sit here in the Sector Six church, arms crossed, staring blankly at Fenrir, and fuming. Zack had just kissed him, after all, and caused about a thousand problems that Cloud didn't want to deal with right now. There were other things to deal with. Important things. Things more important than the unnecessary bullshit that a simple kiss was bound to drudge up.

And Cloud had warned him! On top of it all Cloud had warned Zack that he was in a relationship—a relationship that was already on shaky ground with a boyfriend who currently had waning confidence. He knew this was difficult for Zack. Cloud had tried to be careful of his feelings, had tried to be understanding, but did Zack appreciate Cloud's consideration at all? Apparently not. And here he'd been—Cloud that was— telling Leon not to worry. That he could handle it and everything would be okay, but Zack obviously wasn't listening when Leon had that talk with him.

How could he just kiss him like that? And he was drunk on top of it! Was he fucking deaf or something? How many times did Cloud have to turn him down? It wasn't like he wanted to be rude or anything. Zack had been an important part of his life, but that was ages ago. He died, and sure it wasn't his fault or anything, but it had happened. What was Cloud supposed to do? Psychically know that Zack would return via pissed off Lifestream and just wait for him until it happened? Just put his fucking life on hold until Zack came back to put all his pieces together again? To hell with that.

Sure, Cloud understood what Zack was going through. He'd heard enough analogies by now to get the full scope of the depressing, morbid picture, but this wasn't some ridiculously dramatic tragedy. Life just went like this. Bad shit happens and you move on. So what if things were hard for Zack right now? They'd been fucking _hell_ for Cloud all these years, wondering if he was ever going to be okay again. He didn't get the luxury of missing out on the really hard part where he didn't even get a chance to properly mourn. He had to pull his shit together right away and save the effing planet from Meteor. Did Zack have to deal with that shit? Sure there was the Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo problem right now, but it didn't really compare to the holy terror that Sephiroth waged on Gaea two years ago. It didn't even come close, and in all honesty it was going to be Cloud who probably put an end to this current mess, too. Zack had no real trouble other than the obvious, and Cloud would really appreciate it if Zack would just go get on that already.

What was he supposed to do? Buy some pompoms and jump up and down in elation over Zack's return? Just call up Riku and say, 'Sorry, babe, but my formerly dead ex-boyfriend is back from the grave. I'm going to break up with you and be with him now.'? Not fucking likely. And yes, that was what Zack wanted him to do. It was what Tifa wanted him to do. Did anyone give a fuck what Cloud wanted? He wasn't even the same person he was with Zack. A lot had changed. He'd come a long way. Cloud wasn't exactly prepared to just transport back in time to be that scared, unsure kid again. It wasn't what he wanted. He'd moved on after a great deal of torment and self-degradation. He was stronger now. He didn't need Zack to lean on, and he didn't want it, either.

What was with Tifa, anyway? Did she really hate Riku so much that she wanted Cloud to be miserable? Did she just feel that sorry for Zack that she thought Cloud should just rearrange his entire personality to suit her needs? And it wasn't even that Cloud was mad at her, really. He wasn't even mad at Zack. It would just be nice if someone could just acknowledge and _accept_ how he felt instead of trying to change it. And maybe—_maybe_—he was being a bit of an asshole right now, but he didn't feel that wanting just a little respect for his decision was uncalled for.

To top it off there was poor Riku in the middle of it all. Riku had enough shit to worry about. Important shit. Shit that had nothing to do with this Zack drama. Fate was a fucking asshole, throwing Riku in the middle of this bizarre plot point and making him even more unsure of the one thing that was supposed to be stable. Cloud felt like a dick, telling Riku about what had happened. Like he really needed this right now. Riku needed assurance; he needed confidence. Cloud was not going anywhere, and Riku needed to know that, but Zack's mere presence was screwing that all up. And now Zack had kissed him. Cloud had let Zack kiss him. He didn't even push him away—just sat there in total shock until the annoyance hit him. What kind of message was that to send to Riku?

The simple, and probably best, decision was to just not tell Riku what had happened. Nothing had come from it. It didn't mean anything to Cloud except that now he was going to keep his distance from Zack when imbibing liquor. He didn't want it, and he was going to make damn sure that it didn't happen again. There was no reason to upset Riku over nothing. On the flip side that meant he was keeping something from Riku. It was a secret now, and perhaps this wasn't a good time to be keeping secrets. What if Riku found out? What if months from now Zack and Riku met, Zack made one of his asinine jokes, and let it slip? What if he did it on purpose, still intent to break Cloud and Riku up? What would Riku think then? Would he believe Cloud when he told him the truth, or did the simple fact that Cloud had kept it secret speak louder?

With questions like these that had no obvious answer there were only two people Cloud would turn to for advice, and he really didn't want to call either of them. Aerith would get emotional—she always did when Zack was concerned, and he really didn't feel like answering questions about how he was doing, either. She'd try to persuade him to stop being so damn irritated. She'd give him pieces of advice he didn't feel like hearing right now. The call would end with Cloud even more irate than he already was. Aerith was right out. Leon was his only other option, and while Leon might actually give a shit and listen to what Cloud was saying—might even acknowledge that Cloud had a fucking right to be irritated—Cloud had the feeling he'd burdened Leon enough with the drama of this retarded love triangle.

Cloud was aware that one of these days Leon was going to shoot him with the Gunblade as he found Leon's name in the contact menu and pressed the call button.

"I assume this is my daily dose of the tragic workings of your love life," said Leon after the second ring. Cloud sighed.

"I'd resent that comment if it weren't for the fact it were true, and I want you to know that I genuinely feel sorry for that, but you were my only option besides Aerith," said Cloud. "Feel special."

"...Whatever. And you didn't call Aerith because..."

"She would try to make me stop being pissed off, and being pissed off is the only thing keeping me from throwing myself off a cliff right now."

"What happened?"

Cloud huffed.

"Okay. So I go with Zack to Healen today, right?"

"Okay..."

"Kadaj and his morons attack us. That's fucking annoying. We meet up with Rufus Shinra and everything. He's an asshole, Reno's annoying the shit out of me, but me and Zack are getting along great."

"Okay..."

"And then we get back to Tifa's and we're talking about everything. No problems at all. It's almost like everything's going to be okay. It felt a little awkward, but I'm starting to get more comfortable so that's great, right?"

"I know there's got to be a point to this story somewhere..."

"Well then Riku calls me and Zack goes down to the bar to give me some time to talk. I know he's upset but I appreciate it so I talk to Riku about everything. It ends on a really positive note. He's not freaking out about Zack or anything. He took it really well."

"That's great..."

"Yeah. I thought so too. So I go down to the bar to tell Zack I'm off the phone and he can return to the room whenever he likes. But Zack's more upset than he lets on and he's drinking his ass off."

"This story is going no place good."

"I know. That's what I thought when I saw him. And apparently since he's been dead he can't handle his alcohol at all. So he's four, five drinks in—and these aren't normal drinks. We're not talking beer, okay? He's just downing straight liquor in an obnoxiously short amount of time. Then he starts going off about everything he loves about me, and how much he liked me, and asking me if we would have worked if he hadn't died. And I'm just sitting there thinking 'How the hell am I supposed to know?' What am I? A fucking psychic?"

"I'm starting to think I don't want you to finish this story."

"Well I'm going to so just shut up and listen to me, okay?"

"...Whatever."

"Okay. So he's going off about all this stuff and then he fucking kissed me. He fucking _kissed_ me! So I'm just sitting there in shock—I'd like to add that I didn't kiss him back—and he starts fucking apologizing. By this point I can even think straight anymore. I'm irritated. Frustrated. So I took Fenrir and went to the Sector Six church. Which is where I am now. And I'm fucking pissed off, and irritated, and I need your advice because I don't know what to tell Riku. I don't even know if I should tell Riku. And I'm sorry I'm calling you about this but I just need an opinion from someone who isn't so close to the situation, and I couldn't call Aerith because..."

"Yeah, I know why you couldn't call Aerith," said Leon. An audible sigh passed through the phone. "She'd just start digging into how you feel about it and completely ignore what you're really calling for."

"Exactly. She'd want to know how I feel about Zack, Riku, and the whole scenario, and I don't need that. I know how I feel. I'm fucking irritated. I don't want to deal with this because it's stupid. I know what I want. I told Zack what I want. I told Riku what I want. I'm telling everyone who will fucking listen because I know what I want for a change, and that's not what I'm unsure about. I just need another opinion on whether or not I should tell Riku."

Leon sighed for a second time. There was a long pause and Cloud could practically see Leon rubbing the skin between his eyes in concentration.

"I'm really sorry I called you about this," said Cloud. "I know I'm a pain in your ass..."

"It's okay. If I were you I'd probably have called me too. Just know that if I ever happen to get into a relationship I'm burdening you with all my issues."

"Fair trade. Agreed."

"Okay." Leon paused again, most likely thinking it over, and then released a strong exhale. "My opinion is to not tell him. It wasn't important to you. You didn't want it. You're sure of what you want, and it's just going to upset him. The last thing you need is him questioning what you want if you already talked tonight and he's feeling good about it."

"That was my first instinct, but what if it comes up later? What if Zack makes one of his stupid jokes about it six months down the line and now Riku's wondering if I've just been lying to him the whole time?"

Leon sighed again.

"I don't know. I see your point, but...I just wouldn't tell him. If it comes up later than you can deal with that then. Just make him aware that it wasn't important to you and you didn't tell him because it was unnecessary to upset him over nothing. He'll probably come around. But that's just my opinion."

"Yeah...I don't know. Maybe. I just don't know if it's a good idea to be keeping secrets."

"Well do what you think is best. Feel it out the next time you talk to him, but I wouldn't tell him. You don't know that it'll come up later, and even if it did it might not go as badly as you think it will. Just...think it over."

"Okay. Well I won't keep you. It's got to be getting late there."

"Yeah. I was just getting ready for bed."

"All right. Well thanks. I appreciate it."

"No problem. Good luck."

"Thanks, though hopefully I won't need it."

"I doubt that."

Cloud snorted.

"How unfortunately true. All right. Have fun with the restoration tomorrow."

"Oh don't I always? It's like a party everyday though it just hasn't been the same since you left."

"I know. I was so uplifting."

"Always are."

"Well...thanks a lot. For not freaking out and for actually putting up with me."

"Don't worry about it. I'm your friend by choice. I do it to myself."

"Well thanks anyway."

"It's not a problem. Goodnight, Cloud."

"Night."

Cloud ended the call, slipped the phone back into his pocket, and looked around for a place to sleep. There weren't many options save for a small platform. He should probably get some blankets in here—maybe a pillow—with how often he ran to this place for sanctuary. Keeping this in mind he sat down on the platform and then stretched out, using his arm to support his head. Tomorrow was another day. He'd deal with everything then.

There was so much to do tomorrow. Set up a meeting with Rude and Reno. Talk to Riku. Straighten out this mess with Zack. Find out what Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo had to do with Sephiroth. He had to call Barrett. Talk to Vincent and Tifa about what the next course of action could be because, really, he couldn't do this alone. Sephiroth was one thing. Sephiroth was something he had to do on his own, but Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo couldn't be in the way. Rufus Shinra needed to be held at bay. He was not going to help rebuild Shinra, but Reno and Rude could help keep him out of it. He needed to know what they found at the Northern Cave that Rufus Shinra wanted to hide.

While it certainly wasn't the ideal way, Cloud drifted off to sleep thinking of Sephiroth, Reno, and all the questions that needed answered. Consequentially his sleep was fitful and restless, full of nightmares, but at least not once did he think of Zack.

-----0-----

His back was stiff and he cried out in pain as he woke the next morning. Cloud flexed his right hand to urge the blood back into it and squirmed against his will as feeling (and that horrible tingling sensation) returned. Somehow blankets and that pillow became a top priority for the day. If he was to run away from Tifa's again (and being Cloud, he probably would) he didn't want to endure another restless night like that one had been. At least not if the restless night could be avoided by the simple sense to acquire bedding.

Ordinarily he probably would have sat here and wondered what he was doing in the Sector Six church and just what time it was, but yesterday came back to him in a flash when he felt the hard platform beneath him. The time—just before eleven—was easily discovered by a quick glance at his cell phone. With those questions out of the way Cloud decided the best thing to do was not sit and brood. He'd done enough of that last night. There was no hazy morning grogginess now that he'd been permitted to sleep as long as he liked (Leon's early wake up calls were the handiwork of the devil). These things considered it was probably a good time for Cloud to get a start on knocking off some of those things he needed to do today. As it was usually best to get the worst out of the way out of the way first, he opened his cell phone and called Reno.

"Cloud! Buddy! What's going on, yo?"

Cloud wondered for perhaps the millionth and one time what he'd been thinking when he decided it was a _good _idea to date Reno. Nothing logical came to mind.

"Hey," said Cloud. "We need to talk about yesterday. Are you alone?"

There was a pause as if Reno were looking around to see if he were alone or not. Cloud sighed. These were things people should just know.

"Sure am. I mean, Rude's here, but he doesn't count."

Cloud rolled his eyes.

"No, of course not. Rude to you is like what my right arm is to me."

"Exactly. You get it, yo."

"Believe me, I wish I didn't. So that's it? Just you and Rude? Rufus Shinra isn't around?"

"No. He's at his place in Healen. Did you want to talk to him or something?"

"No, Reno. If I wanted to talk to him, I'd go see him again. I'm calling you because I want to talk to you."

"I'm flattered."

"You really shouldn't be. So...Is there a place we can meet or something? Because I'd really like to get this conversation over with."

"Depends. What do you want to talk about?"

"Sephiroth. The Northern Cave. Kadaj and his pack of morons. The obvious. Come on, Reno. Is there a place we can meet or not."

"I'm not having sex with you again."

"I didn't say anything about sex!"

"Maybe not, but you were thinking it. I can tell, yo."

Cloud sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"I don't want to have sex with you, Reno."

"That's what you said last time, yo, and we both know how that turned out."

"Would you stop talking about that? It was a period of insanity that I like to forget ever happened."

"How could you say that? I'm insulted, yo. See if I tell you anything now."

"Reno, shut up. I just want to talk about yesterday and I don't want Rufus Shinra involved. You can bring Rude if you want. I know how you can't function properly without him."

"Say you're sorry for insulting my sex and maybe I'll reconsider."

"Reno, stop being a jackass. Are we meeting or not?"

"I don't know. You were mean to me, yo. You didn't return my calls. I don't know if I want to meet with someone with so much hostility."

"Reno..."

"All right, all right. Don't get your panties in a twist, yo. Is it just you or is Fair coming?"

"I really couldn't care less what Zack is doing right now, so no."

"Whoa. Touch-chy. What did Fair do? Twist your panties for you?"

"Reno..."

"I get it, okay? Geez, Mr. Serious. Cut a guy some slack."

"Not interested."

"Now, Cloud..."

"I'm going to hang up on you if you don't start cooperating."

"Fine. Really, yo. You know Johnny's Heaven? It's a café in Edge."

"I think I've seen it."

"Yeah, well, since you probably don't want to meet at Tifa's, Johnny's is going to have to do. Meet Rude and me there at noon. We'll chat."

"Sounds great."

"And Cloud? You really do need to lighten up, yo."

Cloud rolled his eyes and ended the call.

The hour before meeting Reno and Rude passed quickly. There was no need to dress as he hadn't brought a change of clothing and had never undressed to begin with. He had no access to a toothbrush. Cloud settled to check his hair in Fenrir (people didn't really need mirrors for these things, anyway) and headed out into Edge on foot. His first order of business was to ask around until he found Johnny's Heaven so he wouldn't have any trouble finding it and turn up late when noon came. He'd learned long ago that making Reno wait wasn't worth it, especially when the reason was that he'd gotten lost. It left too much room for Reno's favorite blond jokes, and though Cloud had a fairly high tolerance for people poking fun at his expense (he'd grown up Zack, Leon, and Yuffie), having Reno poke fun at him was unacceptable. One look at Reno explained why.

His second task once the first was accomplished was to find a nearby convenience store and purchase a toothbrush and some toothpaste. He could've gone back to Tifa's, but he'd never get out of there in enough time to make the appointment. Making Reno wait because of Tifa was worse than making him wait because he'd gotten lost. Before, after, and while they had been dating the very mention of Tifa's name spawned vile and lewd comments about everything from her breasts (which got mixed reviews depending on Reno's mood) to the way she poured drinks. Sometimes he liked her; sometimes he hated her. Reno was even known to be neutral, but he _always_ had something to say and Cloud just wasn't in the mood to hear his opinion today.

Not that he was brushing his teeth in a public restroom for Reno, even if Reno was bound to notice the obvious morning breath and comment on it at great length while Rude stood vigilant and shook his head. His mouth felt vile anyway. The last thing to go in it was straight liquor. Plus he needed it if he was setting up house in the Sector Six church anyway. It didn't all have to do with Reno.

Okay, so a large amount had to do with Reno, but Reno could be highly irritating and handing him ammunition just wasn't an option. Only a stupid person handed Reno ammunition and Cloud knew better. He had no excuse.

With a half hour to go Cloud found the nearest store with bedding, sifted through the options, and purchased two fluffy pillows, some plain sheets, and a thick blanket. He would make that platform comfortable if it killed him. Somewhere in the back of his head a voice that sounded suspiciously like Leon suggested that it might. Cloud shook his head, told the Leon voice to go eat himself, and carried his purchases over to Johnny's Heaven with three minutes to spare. Reno was already outside, staring at his watch and bitching to himself.

"It's about time, yo," said Reno. Rude adjusted his trademark shades and shook his head.

"I'm three minutes early," said Cloud.

"And I've been waiting for five."

"I'm _early_."

"And look at what you showed up with," Reno continued, making an exaggerated gesture toward the shopping bags in Cloud's hands. "I knew you were thinking about having sex with me again."

"I'm not...I wasn't..." Cloud huffed and rolled his shoulders forward. "I just needed something to sleep on, okay?"

"I thought you were staying with Tifa," said Rude.

"I am."

"So why don't you have anything to sleep on?"

"How is this any of your business?"

"He's avoiding a direct answer because he wants to have sex with me, yo," said Reno. 

"I don't want to have sex with you!" said Cloud. "I have a boyfriend, okay?"

"Oh, I see. That's why you need blankets. There's trouble in paradise so you're bunking up somewhere else. That's why Fair isn't with you."

Cloud shifted, sighed, and rolled his eyes.

"Zack isn't my boyfriend. I need blankets because I keep running off to the Sector Six church since Zack isn't pleased that he isn't my boyfriend. Okay? Can we get to the more important issues now? Or at least go inside?"

Rude turned his head, presumably looking at Reno behind the shades. Reno shoved his hands in his pockets and frowned.

"Fair isn't your boyfriend?"

Cloud sighed.

"No."

"But I thought...When I heard Fair was back..."

"You thought wrong."

"So you're actually dating someone other than Fair."

"Yes."

"...How did that happen?"

"Reno, this really isn't a good time for you to take a sudden interest in my life."

"Hey, it's been a few years since we broke up. I'm just trying to catch up with what's going on with you. You don't have to be so moody about it, yo."

"Okay. Well let's see. Since we broke up...Okay. Sephiroth still isn't dead. I finally got over Zack and started dating this great guy who unfortunately happens to be tied up in a Heartless problem but that was going okay. Then Zack came back from the dead to complicate my current unstable relationship. Oh, yeah, and now I'm back here, people are dying, Rufus Shinra is keeping things from me, and I have to play twenty questions with you if I want any answers about Kadaj and his gang. How does that sum it up for you?"

Reno shrugged.

"Sounds pretty typical for you. Let's go in." Rude held the door while Reno brushed inside. Cloud paused and then followed, slumping into a seat across from Reno. Rude joined them a second later. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"First I need your promise that you're going to keep Rufus Shinra out of this," said Cloud as Johnny, the café owner, came over to their table. Reno gave a quick scan of the menu while Rude ordered, placed his own order, and then Cloud, figuring he really ought to get something, repeated what Reno had said. Johnny left the table and Cloud turned his glance to Rude. "I mean it. I don't want him to know we met or anything we talked about."

"What's in it for us?" said Reno.

"I don't castrate you," said Cloud.

"No, really. We're still Turks regardless of what happened to Shinra. Now I want to see Sephiroth dead for good and Kadaj and his pack of rejects gone just as much as you do, but I don't see why I should keep anything from Rufus."

Cloud rolled his eyes.

"I don't have to do this. Don't you get that? I can go back to Hollow Bastion at any time and leave you to deal with Kadaj and the stigma. Or let the WRO deal with it. Vincent tells me that Reeve's got a pretty good team together. I don't have to do this. I wouldn't even have to finish off Sephiroth except I'm the only one who can. You called me. I'm here, and all I'm asking is that we keep Shinra out of this."

"Agreed," said Rude. Reno glared and sulked.

"Okay," said Cloud. He took a breath and nodded. "Let's start at the beginning. Why did you call me? You said you thought it had something to do with Jenova."

"That's because I knew you wouldn't come if I didn't mention it, yo," said Reno.

"But you didn't just make it up, either. So? What does Kadaj's crew have to do with Jenova? And what did you find at the Northern Cave that Rufus doesn't want me to know about?"

"We initially thought Kadaj was just reckless and dangerous," said Rude. "They caused a lot of riots and tried to break into the old Shinra Building through what's left of the Midgar slums. Some of the best SOLDIERS to survive Meteorfall went up against their gang, but so far no one has been able to take them down."

"Me and Rude thought he had something to do with the Jenova Project early on. They looked like Sephiroth, but that..." said Reno, sighing and screwing up his face in concentration. "They called everyone brothers and sisters. Kadaj talks crazy like Sephiroth used to. He talked about 'Mother's revenge on the planet.' Called Geostigma the planet's punishment to us and spoke out against it."

"Rufus initially disregarded our concerns. He seemed to believe that everyone knew of Sephiroth and some disturbed young men were taking hero worship to a dangerous extreme," said Rude. "But then Kadaj started publicly speaking about a reunion. So to be sure we conducted the investigation of the Northern Cave."

"And I called you," said Reno. "Rufus wanted us to get in contact with you as soon as possible in case anything went really wrong against Kadaj because whether he's connected to Sephiroth and Jenova or not, he's still highly dangerous."

"You're the only one to go against Sephiroth repeatedly and come out alive," said Rude. "So Kadaj and his crew, as powerful as they might be—"

"So in the beginning Kadaj was just a dangerous individual making political speeches about how great Sephiroth and Jenova were, how bad the planet was, and you all thought he was probably crazy, but he was dangerous. People were injured trying to stop him from making these political speeches, so you decided to get in contact with me for a little insurance," said Cloud. "If I can take out Sephiroth, I can take out Kadaj. It was just a job."

"Exactly," said Reno.

"Until you went to the Northern Cave," said Cloud. "Right? Cause then you really started calling. And you really started sounding worried. So what did you find? Jenova's head in a box?"

"...Actually..." said Reno.

"We did," said Rude. "And we were intercepted."

Cloud frowned.

"By Kadaj and his gang," said Cloud.

"They were there looking for it, I think. Tseng and Elena were killed," said Rude. "Reno and I just managed to get out of there."

"But we got Jenova's head," said Reno, grinning. "And Rufus has it now. Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo seem to think we have it, too, because they can't find it, so they keep showing up in Healen and harassing Rufus to give it to them, only he's claiming he doesn't have it."

"Kadaj showed up yesterday after you left," said Rude. "Rufus told him we did have the box but it fell from the helicopter while we were running from him."

"Like I would let that happen," said Reno.

"He said they need Mother for the Reunion. That he and his brothers and sisters sharing Mother's cells will come together to take revenge on the planet. He called them—he, Loz, and Yazoo, I presume—Remnants of the Jenova legacy."

"What does that mean?" said Cloud.

"You mean besides a whole lot of trouble?" said Reno.

"Have you seen Sephiroth lately?" said Rude. "You said he wasn't dead."

"Several months ago on another world," said Cloud. "We fought and I killed him, but he's not dead. Not for good, anyway. He never is."

"Yeah. What's with that? I don't get it, yo," said Reno. "How does he keep coming back?"

"We're tied together," said Cloud. "The Jenova cells tie me to him. They were used to keep me alive after Sephiroth ran me through with Masamune in Nibelheim. The darkness in my heart is what keeps him alive after I've killed him because it was used after the Nibelheim incident to make him even stronger and keep him alive. So as long as I'm still fighting the darkness to regain control of my own life, Sephiroth can find a way to come back."

"You don't think...Kadaj..." said Reno.

Cloud sighed.

"Unfortunately that's exactly what I think."

"Remnant isn't a normal word," said Rude. "Any of them could be remnants of Sephiroth."

"Exactly," said Cloud. "Just another way to come back. Loz and Yazoo...I don't think they're remnants of Sephiroth. Maybe someone else. But Kadaj...I think he—Sephiroth—he's just waiting, incubating until he has Jenova's head."

"Does anyone else think it's demented that Sephiroth went so crazy he stole Jenova's head?" said Reno. "I mean...It's a _head_. Who does that, yo?"

Cloud glared.

"Does anyone think it isn't demented?" said Cloud. "Sometimes in retrospect I kind of feel bad for him with how crazy he was. I can't even connect sane Sephiroth to crazy Sephiroth as the same person because he's so out of his mind. Sane Sephiroth can't even be held responsible. If an insanity plea was ever appropriate, it would be for him."

"I completely agree," said Rude. "Doesn't mean he shouldn't be killed."

"It means he should be killed even more. He's too out of his mind. He's a danger to himself and everyone else. It's the only way to stop him. And from what I can tell, Kadaj is..."

"Crazier," said Reno.

"Just as crazy."

"You just say that because you haven't heard him speak out about Jenova yet."

"So what do we do?" said Rude.

"Agree to work together," said Cloud. "Let me know if Kadaj visits Rufus again. He's already looking for me and Zack so I'll keep you informed if there's any contact. Until then I'm just going to lay low. Chasing after Sephiroth doesn't work. Eventually he always comes after me anyway. In the meantime you two make sure Jenova's head stays with Rufus. If Kadaj gets his hands on that thing..."

"Way ahead of you, yo," said Reno. "Chaos. Mass destruction. The kind of stuff nightmares are made of."

Johnny, the café owner, returned to their table with the food. Cloud ate in silence as Reno and Rude mumbled to each other. In the back of his mind flashes of Sephiroth surrounded in fire engulfed his vision. The stuff nightmares are made of. Once in a while, Reno could be right on point.

-----0-----

It was early evening after a day of wandering around Edge and the Midgar slums just thinking about everything that had transpired at lunch. The scent of gardenias in the Sector Six church welcomed him upon arrival. It was a calming scent—one that brought peace to every turmoil. It was unabashedly beautiful, full of hope, they way they grew and flourished in this dead, lifeless place. Cloud tried to find hope and to take advantage of such an inspirational hideout as he made up his makeshift bed, but there was no light to be found. The darkness in his heart spread. If he didn't get it together soon, Kadaj would be gone, Sephiroth would be back, and Cloud would fail again while the cycle continued. He knew there was still light inside him and that he had the strength somewhere inside to find it. The method of finding it, however, still eluded him.

Cloud winced as he spread out a sheet and reflexively pulled his left arm toward him. The bruise from playing with the kids was getting worse and burned even more than it had yesterday after the collision with Loz. He inspected the sight, twisting his arm to get a better look, and touched his fingers around the afflicted area. Pain shot through his arm again, and Cloud hissed, pulling his hand away for a moment, and then he touched the spot right on. It was wet.

His heart pounded hard in his chest as he brought his fingers away and turned them over to get a good look. Cloud sucked in a sharp breath and dropped to sit on the platform; his fingertips were soaked in a black, sticky liquid. He gripped the edge of one of the new white sheets, tore off a strip, and wiped his fingers off on his pants before pressing the material against the wound. When he pulled it away it, too, was drenched in black fluid.

The stigma. Cloud almost laughed. He'd hardly been in Gaea for a week and he already had the stigma. Just like Denzel; just like Rufus Shinra. Jenova, the Lifestream...There was no cure. He was going to be eaten alive by the Jenova cells until the pain was unbearable and he just died.

He was still in a daze, staring at the wet black sheet that had once been white when his cell phone rang. Cloud pulled it from his pocket almost mechanically, took in Riku's name on the display, and dropped his head. They were two weeks away from a year and now...He couldn't answer. He sent the call to voicemail without a second thought. He had the stigma; he was going to die. How could he tell Riku that? How could he hide it? His cell phone announced that he had received a message, and though he flipped open his phone, he ignored it and dialed Leon.

In Hollow Bastion, unknown to Cloud, Riku was fuming, staring in agitation at his own silent phone when Leon's went off. Leon stared at the display for half a second and then met Riku's eyes.

"It's Cloud," he said.

Riku's right cheek twitched as Leon answered his phone.

"Hey," said Leon, watching Riku. "What's up?"

Cloud bit his lip and gripped the strip of material.

"I need your advice," said Cloud.

"What happened?" said Leon.

Cloud clenched his jaw.

"I'm dying."

Leon's own agitation dissipated. He'd been expecting something about Zack, or maybe even Reno, but...Leon closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. Riku, noticing the change in Leon's posture, sat up.

"Okay. Back up. What are you talking about?"

Cloud sighed and shrugged.

"I'm dying. Remember that bruise I had? Zack commented on it when you were here. He pinched me, pinched you, pinched himself, and then he tried to pinch Tifa..."

"Yes. What about it?"

"It's not a bruise; I have the stigma." Cloud sighed. Leon was silent on the other end. "So...I need your advice. Because I don't know what to do. Ordinarily I'd probably just decide to give up and die. There's no cure. Everyone who gets it eventually dies. But I don't...I don't want to do that. I just don't know what the other option is. I don't know how to fight it..."

Cloud let the wet cloth slip from his hands and fall to the floor.

"Riku just called me and I couldn't answer because I don't know what to tell him. I guess I have to finish Sephiroth...Maybe that'll do something. It happens because of the Jenova cells mixed in the Lifestream. If Sephiroth is gone..."

Leon rubbed his right temple with one hand and stared right at Riku. Riku frowned.

"What?" said Riku.

Leon shook his head.

"Maybe," said Leon. He paused and sighed. "You have to tell him. You can't hide this."

"Riku?" said Cloud.

In Hollow Bastion Riku whispered, "Hide what?" Leon waved him away.

"Yes, Riku. You need to talk to him."

"I know. I was going to call him later. It's...I just noticed now. It's oozing and...I couldn't. I didn't know..."

"You're going to be okay."

"You don't know that this time. You can't...You can't say that."

"Yes, I can. You're going to fight it and you're going to be okay."

"Fight what?" Riku whispered.

"And you need to talk to Riku," Leon continued. "You need to tell him about this. And you need to talk to him about Zack."

"I already talked to him about Zack," said Cloud. "It went well. I told you that."

Leon stared at the counter and bit his lip.

"I know. You have to talk to him again. I...I kind of told him that...Zack...kissed...you..."

"What?!"

"It slipped! He said he talked to you and he was nervous about Zack and I mistook it to think that you told him about the kiss since you said he took it so well. But it's no big deal, really. I mean, he wants to kill Zack, naturally, but he doesn't seem to want to castrate you."

"When did you talk to Riku?"

Leon closed his eyes and shrugged.

"He's here. In Hollow Bastion. Got here about a half hour ago. Sora's awake and he wanted to get things straightened out with me before he went off with DiZ again and..."

"Wait. When you say that he's there does that mean he's just in Hollow Bastion or he's sitting right next to you?"

"Across from me, actually."

Cloud hung his head and took a breath.

"Put him on the phone."

Leon held his phone out to Riku and shrugged.

"He wants to talk to you."

Riku snatched it from Leon's hands, pressed it to his ear, and walked away from Leon toward the bedroom he'd shared with Cloud.

"What's going on?" said Riku.

"Hey..." said Cloud. "Sorry I didn't answer..."

"No. You hung up on me and called Leon. What's going on? What were you talking about?"

"Riku..." The sound of a door slamming echoed through the phone. Cloud dropped his head. "I didn't answer because I didn't know how to tell you..."

"Tell me what? What did you say to Leon?"

"Riku...I'm dying. I have the stigma."

There was a long pause.

"What?"

"I told you about Geostigma..."

"Yeah. You...You have it?"

"Yeah. And there's no cure. It's fatal. I...I'm not giving up though, okay? I'm going to fight it. Hopefully if Sephiroth is destroyed it can be reversed. I don't know. I just...I'm not giving up. I want you to know that."

Riku sighed and lifted his head.

"Why couldn't you just tell me that?"

"I didn't know how to. With everything going on with you, and then Zack...I...I just realized. Like thirty seconds before you called. And...I mean, it was showing signs for days now, but I didn't realize it was Geostigma until now, and I don't want to burden you with that. I..."

"You're not burdening me, Cloud. There are two of us in this relationship. I can't be leaning on you all the time. If...You can lean on me, too, you know. I'd like it if you did."

"I don't want to do that to you. I..."

"Why not? I do it to you. I call you with all of my problems. I'd like to hear yours. And if you're...God, Cloud. You just...You can't die. And if there's a way...If fighting Sephiroth is going to do it...You can't feel bad about it. You can't hide from me."

"I just wasn't ready. It was thirty seconds."

"That doesn't matter anymore, Cloud. I wasn't ready to turn into Ansem, and I wasn't ready to face Mickey today, and I wasn't ready for a lot of things but I did them anyway. We don't have time anymore to get ready, and if you're dying...If the only way to get rid of this is to defeat Sephiroth..."

"I don't even know if it'll work. It might not. Sephiroth might die for good and I'll still die anyway. It's a long shot. It's just...the only thing I can come up with."

"It has to work. It has to, because I can't lose you."

Cloud stared at the gardenias and took a breath.

"I don't want to die any more than you want me to."

"Good. So..."

"And that Zack thing..."

"Don't worry about it."

"What?"

"I overreacted. He...Leon told me it didn't mean anything to you and I just..." A weak laugh came over the phone. "I just don't want to lose you, but I think Zack is probably the last thing that's going to take you from me right now. It was stupid. Don't worry about it."

Cloud shook his head.

"I'm not going to die."

"Good."

"I miss you."

A small hitch came over the line. Cloud tilted his head toward the floor.

"I miss you, too."

"We'll get through this."

Riku laughed.

"I should be the one saying that. You're the one dying."

"It's been my experience that the one dying is usually the one most at peace with it. But...Maybe...Maybe it can be okay. I'm going to do everything I can to make it okay. I'm going to fight. I won't just give up. I have too much good going on in my life to just give up."

"Yeah," said Riku, snorting. "You have me. Messed up, emotional, and freaking out."

"Yeah. I do. And I like having you. You're one of those good things."

Riku sighed.

"We'll get through this together. You can lean on me."

Cloud nodded.

"I know."

"If I can get out of the realm of darkness..."

"Let's just...When this is over, and you finish school, and we're in Hollow Bastion getting married and everything, let's just not do this again, okay? No more Ansem and no more darkness and no more ex-boyfriends back from the grave..."

"Or fatal diseases," said Riku.

"Yeah. Let's just not do this again. It's fun and all, but I think once is enough."

"When we're in Hollow Bastion getting married?"

"Yeah. When."

Riku grinned.

"Okay. Let's not do this again. I think that's a great idea."

"Good. Me too."

"So...Other than dying, how did your day go?"

They talked for hours, long after Leon told Riku to give him his phone back and switch over to his own. Events of the day, theories on Organization XIII and Kadaj, and just what they were going to do when they saw each other again rated high on topics of conversation. Cloud glanced at his arm occasionally as they talked. The stigma issue was now quiet, but it loomed over his head like a death sentence. Still, he wasn't going to give up. Tifa might have said, "Cloud, this isn't like you." He supposed that was all right. Nothing had been quite typical of Cloud since he met Riku, anyway.

**_Thanks everyone who reviewed for Chapter 67. It's as great to hear from all of you as it was for you to hear from me._**

**_And I'm still taking requests. Leave me one in a review, a PM, at my Livejournal, or through email. Seriously. Take advantage now. It won't happen again for at least a year if ever._**

**_Thanks for reading. Here's to the hope that I get another chapter out within the next two weeks._**

**_Love._**

**_-D_**


	69. Wishing and Hoping

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 069. Dare

**Word Count**: 7,481

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Everyone's got someone to miss.

**Disclaimer**: I have no affiliation with Kingdom Hearts whatsoever other than I am a super obsessive fangirl. It all belongs to Disney and Square Enix. I've accepted this, and you should, too.

**Author's Note**: I put Riku in this scene because I think it's so funny that Yuffie runs off without Sora when they first meet up in the game. I think the first time I played it I was like, "Thanks, Yuffie. I'll find it on my own. It's all good." So...yeah. Typical of video games, I know, but every time it happens I just laugh and go, "Aren't you a good friend leaving me like this?" So yes. That's how Riku ended up there as well.

**Author's Note 2**: In case it isn't apparent, I interpreted the prompt 'dare' as daring, courageous, etc. You know. Like people are daring to do things despite a desire to give up. Yeah...I didn't know if it came through or not but I tried.

**

* * *

**

_**Step Sixty-Nine: Wishing and Hoping**_

He used to be called Squall Leonheart once upon a time and it felt like forever ago. Things, times, people: everything was so different then, or maybe it had just seemed different through his childish perspective. This was before the Heartless—back when he thought he could do anything and everything was a real possibility. This was before Zack died, circled through Gaea's Lifestream, and came back from the afterlife as though he'd never left. It was a time when Zack was still the person Leon looked to as a protective big brother and he wanted nothing more than to grow up to be just like Cloud.

As he took a sip of his morning coffee Leon was reminded yet again why it was a good idea to never be called Squall again.

It wasn't that he was embarrassed to have seen Zack as an elder brother. Maybe he was a little embarrassed to have ever wanted to be like Cloud, but in his defense Cloud had seemed awfully cool and mature back then. His young mind wasn't yet able to comprehend that Cloud seemed so cool and mature because remaining detached was his passive-aggressive way of retaliating at people who actually thought he was a cry baby dork. Not that these were the real reasons Leon hated hearing the name Squall (that was an entirely different monologue that would probably never be told in full) or why he was sitting here at the ungodly hour of four in the morning thinking about Zack and Cloud, but sometimes it was necessary to break up the stress with a bit of sardonic humor.

After all, some days it was the only way to tolerate Yuffie.

Okay, so maybe that was a little more of the sardonic humor, but it was four in the morning, and this was only Leon's first cup of coffee. Ordinarily even he would be sound asleep at this hour, especially with how late he'd been awake, but his sleep had been restless. He glanced across the bar in the kitchen at the closed door leading to what he now thought of as Cloud and Riku's room, which was probably appropriate considering that Riku was the one sleeping in there tonight. He sighed and took another sip of the much needed coffee.

No, it wasn't a childlike wish to be like Cloud or his once safe place with Zack that made sleep difficult tonight. It wasn't even his questionable alleged attraction to Riku, though in all fairness Leon had spent nights awake wondering if he did like Riku _that way_ (since so many people thought he did) without ever coming up with a definitive answer. In all honesty Leon couldn't really be sure what it was that kept him awake. He wasn't really troubled; he just couldn't stop thinking.

Leon supposed that maybe playing therapist was getting to him. That playing therapist might be getting to him led to waxing nostalgic about his childhood relations with Cloud and Zack when things were far more simple and it would have been gross to think of Cloud kissing anyone, much less Zack. Now wasn't really all that different, though, he supposed. Zack mourning over the loss of romantic relations with Cloud still made Leon a little uncomfortable. The idea of Zack kissing Cloud in a drunken state furthered his unease. The odds that someone, sooner or later, might suggest he start dating Zack did nothing to appease his train wreck of a thought process. The last thing he wanted was a repeat of the emotional confusion that was the Riku debacle. He knew his friends meant well, but it was times like these when Leon just wanted to shake someone and ask them if there were fucking stupid.

After all, his many analyses of his dating record and feelings towards all three males in question led to the obvious suggestion that if Leon were going to like anyone, it would probably be Cloud. Not that Riku or Zack had to worry—Leon had no intentions of tossing his hat into the ring any time soon, but it was Cloud that Leon had always been especially close to. As a kid Cloud had probably been his first crush, but Leon had never really been able to entertain that idea, either. Cloud was wonderful and all, but Leon could never properly imagine just how their anatomy would fit together, and that was the end of that.

Most of the night while he laid awake Leon tried not to wish that things would just be simple again. Wishing really didn't do anything, so it was superfluous to try. Unfortunately he did it anyway and this led to the question of what he meant. Was this back in time when things were simpler? Did he just want the problems to go away? Leon figured it was probably the latter. While he didn't know how to feel in regards to Zack's return (it had been so long since they'd spoken and Leon had already made peace with the knowledge they never would again), he knew that with Zack back, he didn't want him gone again. He sympathized with Zack, but found himself wishing he'd just understand, get over Cloud, and be done with it. It would save a lot of misery and a lot of headaches.

With Cloud...He hoped for Cloud's sanity and stability. He wanted Cloud to collect himself, defeat Sephiroth, and just be happy for once. It was apparent that to most people Cloud was moody and distant, but Leon knew him well enough to know that Cloud wanted to be happy. It was just hard to do so when something like Sephiroth was always looming over your parade. When he found Riku, everything changed. Cloud was a little closer to happy, and a little more determined to stay that way. Then Riku turned into Ansem, Zack came back, and the shit hit the proverbial fan. The high point of all this was that Cloud knew what he wanted for a change and was doing his best to avoid his habit of being too nice for his own good. Unfortunately his avoidance of Zack and the situation as a whole wasn't really helping him either. Leon just wished Cloud could feel a little less sympathy for people and focus on himself now and again. It would probably do Cloud good to be a little more selfish.

Then there was Riku. It felt like kicking a puppy, wishing for Riku to do anything other than what he was already doing and feeling what he was already feeling. The poor kid had started out young and stubborn but reasonably well-adjusted. He'd grown up obviously well cared for with such a good life that he'd gotten bored. Now that he'd stirred things up he'd not only managed to destroy most of his confidence but felt he needed to atone for some pretty major sins. The only reasons Riku probably wasn't worse off was he'd started with more confidence than any one person should have and he had Cloud to help take some of the brunt. Screwed up as he was, Riku had grown up a great deal. Leon just couldn't wish he change because all those things that Leon wanted for Riku were things Riku was already working to attain.

Which left him here, wishing he wasn't wishing because wishing didn't do shit and Riku being the only person Leon didn't want to smack. Now if he could just leave well enough alone right there, he'd probably be asleep right now, but his friends were driving him crazy, and Leon wasn't impervious to their antics enough to not let it affect him.

Leon finished off his coffee cup, refilled it with what was left in the pot, and set it on the table. He circled the bar and crossed the living room. For a moment he paused before the bedroom door and then cracked it open, allowing the living room light to dimly illuminate the space. Riku's back was to him, his body huddled under the blankets, and hair just a shade too light to be his peeked out through the darkness. He was sleeping on Cloud's side of the bed and hugging one of the pillows. A discarded black robe lay sprawled across the floor. Leon sighed. This just wasn't right.

Leon walked into the room as quietly as he could. He grabbed his cell phone from where Riku had left it on the nightstand and checked the time before pocketing it. He still had close to two hours before heading to Merlin's for a day of work on the Restoration. For a moment he hesitated, and then Leon reached down to take Riku's black cloak in his hands. He could at least do something productive with his extra time, and he doubted whether Riku was going to have a lot of upcoming opportunities to do laundry. Set that at least he could accomplish something since sleep wasn't about to be conquered, Leon made to leave the room. Riku sighed in his sleep.

It was the voice that startled him. Leon paused and looked to Riku who merely shifted and clutched tighter to the pillow. This was all wrong—elongated limbs and a foreign voice that had started to sound familiar as it drifted through the door during his call with Cloud, but now was obnoxious and wrong again. It was Leon who now sighed as he brushed wrongly colored hair away from the face that was and wasn't Riku's and then left the bedroom.

There was a part of Leon that loved playing therapist to Cloud. It meant they were close again. It meant Cloud trusted him, and that unlike when they were kids, Cloud now looked to him as an equal instead of a tagalong. Though he didn't like to think it, there was a part of Leon that perhaps...just _maybe_...wanted the final nail in the coffin of Zack and Cloud because he had never been a part of it. Their relationship had blossomed, ran its course, and ended all sans Leon's presence. So now that Zack had returned, their entire group dynamic was different. If Cloud and Zack could just be friends—no romantic feelings involved—then maybe _that_ was the best of both worlds. Maybe that was what would make things simple again.

Then there was Riku. Leon had seen it from the beginning. He felt involved. Riku had become part of their self-made, dysfunctional family, and Leon intended to keep it that way. This was probably his definitive answer. Where Cloud and Zack played the elder brother to him all those years, it was Leon's turn now to take care of Riku. He loved him, sure, but he wasn't in love with him.

Leon gathered his own laundry together and headed for the basement before dressing for the day. Sora might show up today or sometime in the near future, but Leon could do his best to cover for Riku when that happened. Regardless of what was to come, Leon hoped to keep Riku in Hollow Bastion just a little longer. After all, he seemed to need the rest.

* * *

When Riku comprehended it was almost eleven upon waking, he realized that everything with Roxas, Sora, Naminé, and DiZ must have had him more exhausted than he thought. It wasn't an assuring realization. It was far easier and far more comfortable to think it hadn't been a strain on him—or at least it was more comfortable to tell himself it hadn't been—than to wake far later than usual with the obvious suggestion that it was. Apparently denial had other plans in store for him.

Riku groaned, stretched out, sat up in bed, and looked around the room. He blew out a strong exhale and glanced at the empty spot next to him—his side of the bed. He looked at the pillow in his lap that he'd fallen asleep clutching, woke up to clutching, and now that he noticed, was still continuing to clutch. The empty nightstand suggested Leon had retrieved his phone. Riku seriously hoped he hadn't noticed. It was embarrassing to clutch pillows, especially when the pillows in question smelled strongly of one's boyfriend (thus the reason for clutching in the first place).

It had been nice, though. Cloud's scent. Calming, even.

The call last night with Cloud had been long—longer than usual, or at least longer than usual as of late. It was almost like one of their old calls that could go for hours. At least by the end, Riku had almost forgotten that he had Ansem's voice and that Cloud was dying.

Cloud was dying. Cloud had Geostigma. How was Riku supposed to deal with that one?

In all honesty, Riku couldn't be entirely upset about the Ansem thing anymore. Not after everything that had happened since then. Besides, Leon knew now, had actually seen it, and acted no differently toward him at all. If Leon could do that—and if Cloud could actually keep an hours long conversation going without getting weird about the voice—then maybe it hadn't been as big a deal as Riku made it out to be. Sora still couldn't know—not by any means—but maybe it would be okay to, say, hug or even kiss Cloud when he saw him again, even if he did still look like Ansem. That alone was a huge relief.

Unfortunately, the relief of Ansem was partially (mostly) due to all the other bullshit that had come up. Like Geostigma. Geostigma that made Zack Fair pale in comparison. Sephiroth, Kadaj, and Rufus Shinra, which all hung over his head—and his relationship—like a guillotine waiting to drop. Throw Heartless and Organization XIII in the mix and Riku was ready to just throw up his hands and scream, "Okay! I won't date anybody like a normal person! Happy now?"

If Riku were being completely honest, he couldn't be as worried about the Geostigma as much as a normal person probably would be. There were so many curveballs being thrown at both him and Cloud right now that it was impossible to be. Perhaps he'd become desensitized to it all, but really, there were only so many things Riku could worry about. Kadaj, Organization XIII, and Sora were all Riku could take right now. The good thing was that it seemed that was all Cloud could take, too. Riku didn't know what he would do if Cloud were losing it over the Geostigma. Probably explode from stress.

Riku seriously hoped this was the low point—that point where things had to get worse before they got better. He hoped Geostigma was the driving force for Cloud to really finish Sephiroth without giving in to the darkness. He knew the Ansem thing was his driving force to beat the darkness in his own heart, so maybe it would be the same for Cloud. Maybe Zack's return from the Lifestream was just going to cement their relationship even more. Cloud seemed determined to make it that way, and since Cloud was kind of the variable factor that was a good sign. Things had to go up from here, didn't they?

Riku slumped and glanced around the room again, this time noticing a neatly folded black cloak on the dresser that he was sure had been discarded on the floor several hours ago. He almost smiled. Leon had done his laundry. Wondering what it was about people and their compulsive need to wash his clothes, Riku climbed out of bed and padded out of the room toward the kitchen.

Things almost felt normal as he set to making a pot of coffee and picked up the note Leon had left on the counter. He had left for the Restoration early and would most likely be at Aerith's. He'd also requested that Riku hang around for dinner, and if he didn't want to see anyone else, Leon would be by early to ensure he wouldn't have to. Riku smiled. Leon reminded him so much of Ayumi it was uncanny. One day in the future he was going to have to introduce them and sit back to enjoy the competition his sister was bound to initiate toward the man who had temporarily taken her place. She was going to hate Leon, and Riku was going to love watching her make a fool out of herself.

It had been nice of Leon to consider Riku's emotions, but with everything happening—and considering both Leon and Cloud were taking it so well—Riku thought it might do him some good to see Aerith, Yuffie, and Cid. Help him further get past thing Ansem who isn't really Ansem thing for while it lasted. There was the possibility of seeing Sora to contend with, but Riku wasn't in a rush to get back to DiZ, either, and the likelihood of Hollow Bastion being the first place for Sora to go after seeing Yen Sid was fairly slim. Surely there were other worlds between Twilight Town and Hollow Bastion with Heartless problems in need of help. And if Sora did happen to show up, Riku could always, you know, duck under a table or something until he was gone.

Feeling fairly confident Riku took his coffee cup and returned to the bedroom. He sipped from his thermos as he slipped the Organization cloak on, returned to the kitchen, stole a pack of Leon's cigarettes, and then headed out of the house for Merlin's. When he walked in, four people looked at him. Riku snorted.

"What the hell are you all doing in one place?" said Riku. "Don't you usually divide and conquer?"

He'd left the hood down on purpose, planning to just get it out of the way and avoid the build up, but with the looks he was getting, he almost regretted his decision. Aerith, Yuffie, and Cid all looked confused, heads cocked and eyes narrowed as if trying to figure out if they knew this person, and if not, if it was a threat. Leon just smiled.

"You came."

"I figured I'd get it out of the way and save myself some stress."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Riku?" said Aerith. Yuffie brightened. Cid raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah," said Riku.

"Leon said you were here!" said Yuffie, jumping up and hugging him. "It doesn't look that bad. Really."

"Smooth," said Cid, flicking his cigarette. "What are you going to do next? Tell him it's hardly noticeable?"

"I'm so glad you came," said Aerith. She stood, and Yuffie seemed to get the hint, letting go of Riku long enough for Aerith to get a hug in. "Leon said you might not be ready to see us this way."

"I'm really not, but I told Cloud last night we can't wait to be ready for things now because there's no time. May as well not make myself a hypocrite in under twenty-four hours."

"Sounds like a plan," said Cid. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see all of you, too. I missed you."

"We missed you, too!" said Yuffie. She had her hands clutched together and arms pulled tight into her body. She appeared to be trying not to bounce. Riku sighed and held his arms out. She released a sound that might have been a squeal and latched back on. "It really isn't that noticeable."

"I know it's terrible. It's okay."

"Oh, good. Okay then."

Leon rolled his eyes. Aerith covered her hand with her mouth.

"So, really, what are you all doing here?"

"Most of us are working. Yuffie's avoiding her duties," said Leon.

"I am not!" she cried, turning around and stomping her foot. "I still have another three minutes before I have to walk around the stupid town _again_."

"Security system broke down this morning," said Cid. "Again."

"So now its Yuffie's job to keep walking around every ten minutes and make sure things are still working right," said Leon.

"And we have to do it that way because that other system we can't break into is interfering with our alerts," said Cid. "Again."

"What happened to welcoming newcomers?" said Riku.

"They've slowed down," said Yuffie. "We have volunteers now in case anyone new shows up, but so far it's been slow."

"That and Yuffie was causing them all trauma with her natural disaster stories," said Leon.

Riku snorted.

"That's not true!" She stomped her foot again. "I was not giving anyone _trauma_."

"And Aerith's going over some proposals for new businesses," said Leon as if Yuffie hadn't spoken. "We've finally gotten down to the castle, and I've gotten into Ansem's study, but it's been pretty worthless to us so far. We're missing something; I just don't know what that is yet. And since the computer keeps going crazy, Cid and I have been spending all morning trying to get that straightened out."

"So it's business as usual, then?" said Riku.

Leon rolled his eyes.

"You got it. These machines make me so angry I just want to..."

Leon made a violent motion toward the computer as if he were attacking Heartless with the Gunblade. Riku laughed.

"I know how you feel. Just looking at that computer brings back all sorts of angry feelings."

"So what have you been up to?" said Aerith.

Riku motioned to himself and dropped into a seat at the table across Aerith.

"Turning into Ansem who isn't really Ansem. Babysitting Roxas until Sora woke up. Staring at computer monitors all day. Stressing over my relationship with Cloud."

"Sounds like good times," said Cid, snorting.

"Leon said he has Geostigma," said Yuffie.

"Don't you have a town to ensure the safety of?" said Leon.

"How is he?" said Aerith.

"Cloud?" said Riku.

Aerith nodded.

"He doesn't really call me so I never know how he's doing..."

"You make him nervous," said Leon.

Riku shrugged.

"He's all right. He sounds stressed, but...He says he's not going to just give up. That's good, right?"

Aerith nodded.

"I'm not really surprised he got the Geostigma considering what it is. Cloud's had so much done to him with mako and Jenova cells that the likelihood was high. After all, he's hardly been in Gaea. He probably started getting it when he was still on his Gummi ship the second he got close to the Lifestream, but I worry for him. Whether he really will defeat Sephiroth."

"I believe he will," said Riku.

"So do I," said Leon.

"Well he's got a lot of work ahead of him," said Yuffie. "That Sephiroth's a real pain in the ass. I wish he'd just do it and get it over with already."

"I wish he'd find his light. And he'd come around more. And call."

"You make him nervous," Leon repeated.

"I don't know why."

"Everyone makes him nervous," said Yuffie. "He can be such a jerk."

"He just feels a lot of pressure," said Riku. "And he's not sure how things are going to turn out, and it scares him."

"But he's not giving up despite being scared," said Leon. "That's a big step for Cloud and we need to all appreciate that."

"I know," said Aerith. "You're right. I just wish there was something I could do. I wish he'd let me in. Let me help him."

"I still think he's a jerk," said Yuffie.

"He's Cloud," said Leon. "There's nothing more to that. Can't expect him to change completely."

"Is he really that distant?" said Riku.

"He used to be worse," said Leon. "You really changed him."

Aerith nodded. "And you'll forever have our gratitude for that."

"Yeah," said Yuffie. "Before you if he got Geostigma he'd probably hide out somewhere, try to hide it from everyone, and then get all pissed off because someone found out and yelled at him for not telling them in the first place."

"And try to leave Kadaj to everyone else because he'd be too afraid something bad would happen," said Leon.

"Then he'd blame himself for anything bad that did happen and pull away from everyone," said Aerith.

"Until someone gave him a good kick in the ass," said Cid.

"Which is usually when Cloud feels like an asshole and rises to the occasion," said Leon.

"Because we didn't give him another option," said Aerith.

"He really pisses me off sometimes," said Yuffie.

Aerith giggled.

"I'm starting to understand why I make him nervous."

"Was he really that bad?" said Riku, smiling. Everyone in the room nodded. "Really?"

"Oh yeah," said Leon. "But thanks to you we actually know he has Geostigma. He doesn't know if finishing Sephiroth will get rid of it, but he's more determined than ever. I really think he's going to do it the next time."

"So because of me he's going to rise to the occasion because he wants to and not because he feels like an asshole," said Riku.

"Something like that," said Cid.

"No wonder you all like me so much."

"We like you for more reasons than that," said Aerith.

"It just helps," said Yuffie.

"Seriously," said Leon. "Town to patrol."

Yuffie stuck her tongue out at him.

"Fine. I'm going. Happy now?"

Leon rolled his eyes.

"I'll be happier when you're gone."

"I'm the great ninja Yuffie, you know. I don't have to be doing this menial work."

"Okay, great ninja, but if the town's security system isn't working again it's going to take more than just one person to get it back under control so if you could stop wagging your tongue..."

"I'm going! Okay!?" Yuffie threw her hands up in the air, left out an exasperated sigh, and trudged toward the door. "Geez. Who died and made you leader?"

She continued to mutter under her breath as she slammed the door. Leon sighed.

"No one died. I'm leader because no one else wants to do it."

"You do a very fine job of it, too," said Aerith.

Leon grumbled. Cid slammed his fists on the computer keyboard and released a long string of curse words. Aerith touched Riku's wrist and smiled.

"I bet you're happier than ever to be back here."

"Actually, I am. It's nice. It's normal, sad as that is."

"You're telling me," said Leon.

"Well I'm glad you came around. Hopefully you'll make a habit out of it."

"I'd like to," said Riku. "It's nice having somewhere to go back to and call home." Aerith smiled; Riku shifted and shrugged. "Anyway, I've already got the worst out of the way, right? You all know, you've seen me, and from there it just gets easier. Now I just have to help Sora out without him seeing me."

"You could let Sora know..." said Aerith.

"No, I really couldn't."

She frowned.

"He's your friend. He's the Keyblade master. Surely he wouldn't look down on you for..."

"Oh, Sora would be nice and understanding and everything, yeah," said Riku. "It's just...The last time he saw me I was behind the door to darkness. I'd like to be farther along than I am when I see him again. It's...I guess it's a matter of pride."

"We won't say anything," said Leon, looking away from the computer long enough to eye Aerith. "I know I said pride isn't everything but sometimes it's all you've got. And anyway, it isn't as if you're hiding from everyone. Sure, we've seen you, but Sora's different."

"He was my best friend," said Riku.

"So his opinion means more, not to mention he is the Keyblade master, all good, and...It makes for an awkward situation."

"Okay," said Aerith, laughing. "I get the hint. Don't push the subject. Got it. I won't tell Sora the truth, but I hope you know it's against my nature to lie."

"That's what she wants you to think," said Cid.

Leon snorted. Aerith shot Riku a smirk and shook her head.

"Maybe a little," she conceded.

Cid slammed on the keyboard with his fists a second time and the door to Merlin's house flew open. Cid swore to himself as Leon, Riku, and Aerith looked to see Yuffie stumble in and clutch her chest, slamming the door behind her.

"He's here! Sora...I mean...He was coming from Market, and I told him about the system, and now he's on his way here..."

"And you slammed the door on 'im," said Cid. "That's not peculiar at all."

"Yeah, really," said Leon, glancing at Riku. "What did you do? Tell him to hold on while we shoved Riku in a closet?"

"No, I did not! He asked me if I'd seen Riku and I said no, okay? I'm not stupid, _Squall_!"

"Hide," said Aerith, touching Riku's wrist, and then she stood to join Cid and Leon by the computer.

"Could've fooled me, and if you call me Squall one more time..."

When Riku had thought this morning that the odds of Sora showing up were very low, and if he did Riku would just duck under a table, he never really thought he'd do it. Now here he was, huddled under the table in Merlin's house while Leon and Yuffie bickered.

"Your name _is _Squall!"

"Where the hell did Riku go?" said Cid.

"I'm under the table," said Riku.

He heard a snort that might have been Cid or Leon, but Riku suspected it was both.

"We need to act normal," said Aerith. "Stop fighting, you two. Relax."

"Those two fighting is normal," said Cid.

"He has a point," said Leon.

"What the hell is taking Sora so long?" said Yuffie.

"Maybe it's because you ran off without telling him where we were," said Leon.

"Well what was I supposed to do? Bring him here and tell him to ignore the tall man in black? He's just a distant relative? I told him we were at Merlin's. Geez."

"Last time Sora was at Merlin's, Merlin's was in Traverse Town."

There was a short silence, and then Yuffie's voice drifted under the table.

"Oh...yeah..."

Riku almost laughed. The silence that followed was far from normal. If Riku had walked in on everyone getting along, he might not have suspected a long lost friend under a nearby table, but something would have definitely been wrong. It was apparent, however, that Sora hadn't spent nearly as much time with this group of morons as Riku had. When the sound of the door opening joined the clattering of the keyboard, Yuffie shouted, "Meet the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee!"

Riku neared toward the table edge and peered under a fold in the tablecloth. Yuffie was in Sora's face. Aerith turned from the computer, nonchalant as you please and said, "We missed you!" Riku had to give her credit. She could act normal. This might not be so bad.

"Well, if you ain't in top shape," said Cid.

"I knew it," said Leon.

Well, at least Aerith and Cid could act normal. Yuffie was still bouncing inches away from Sora's face and glanced nervously at the table. Leon was on edge, and though Riku had no idea where "I knew it" had come from, it wasn't unlike Leon (or Cloud) to start conversations as if they were already in the middle of one. His tone, however, was so intense that Riku almost laughed right there. Here he'd thought Leon would be the collected one.

Sora leaned away from Yuffie, gave her the same look he sometimes gave Selphie when she waxed philosophical about paopu fruits, and walked toward Leon. Riku was immediately reminded of why Sora was his best friend, and his heart pulled a little. It was true. When Yuffie was scary, Leon was the safe place.

"Knew what?" said Sora.

"A while back, everyone suddenly remembered you guys, all at the same time," said Leon. Riku frowned. Leon needed to work on his people skills.

Sora reacted accordingly, taking a slight step back.

"You...remembered? Wait! Does that mean you forgot about us!?"

And somewhere along the way Sora had gotten sharper. The old Sora might have taken three to five minutes to piece that one together. Riku swallowed, feeling close to smiles or tears—maybe both.

"Thanks!" said Donald.

The duck was still a bastard.

"So where've you guys been all this time?" said Yuffie.

"We were sleepin'," said Goofy.

"Where?" said Cid. "In cold storage?"

Riku snorted and covered his mouth. Cid was really good at this normal thing. Leon still looked ready to pop a vein.

"It doesn't matter," said Aerith. "This is great. Everyone's together again!"

Leave it to Aerith to be the smart one and derail conversation away from any place that might lead Leon or Yuffie to digging their own graves. Sora smiled for a second.

"So, um...we're trying to find Riku and the King," said Sora. Riku scooted a little farther back under the table, feeling both pleased and guilty that Sora was looking for him already. "Have you seen 'em?"

Cid, Aerith, and Leon all shook their heads. Riku noted Leon's stiff posture for the sake of torment and teasing later if only to take a little heat off of Yuffie. Sora sighed.

"Right."

"Sorry," said Aerith. "But let us know if there's anything we can do to help. Okay?"

Sora nodded.

"Okay. Thanks."

"Don't go thankin' us just yet," said Cid, standing from his chair and advancing on Sora. Riku blinked. These people were fucking lunatics. He took back everything he said about Cid. All of it.

"Hollow Bastion's got a problem," said Leon. "A big problem."

Sora, still moving away from Cid who had decided to tower over him, leaned to the side to see Leon.

"You mean, like Nobodies? And Heartless?" said Sora.

"That's right!" said Yuffie. She bounced again.

"Sounds like you could use our help," said Sora.

"Then let's cut to the chase," said Leon. He walked forward in line with Cid and Aerith squeezed between them. Yuffie came from the side, closing them in a half-circle, and Riku had the suspicion that if Cloud was here and he weren't under the table, they'd be covering the other side. "Sora, Donald, Goofy. We were hoping the three of you might give us a hand around here."

A voice in Riku's head that suspiciously sounded like Cloud shouted "Don't do it!"

Sora, however, looked very proud of himself as he said, "Like we're gonna say no?"

Leon, now towering over Sora as well, tossed his head as if to say, 'This kid...' and released a half-laugh.

"...I forgot who I'm dealing with."

This in Leon terms translated to "I forgot you aren't a whiny bitch like Cloud." Donald, the bastard, however, didn't know that, got all offended, and said, "Hey...what do you mean by that?"

"Just think of it as a sort of 'Leon compliment,'" said Aerith. She could be so diplomatic at times.

Leon headed past Sora to the door and opened it.

"Follow me to the bailey—there's something you need to see," said Leon.

And without needing to follow them, Riku put all the pieces together. Sora was in Hollow Bastion for less than five minutes and the vultures had already circled, picked him apart, and lured him into joining the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee. Now Leon had him on tethers with the intention of leading him out to that view that would be beautiful save for the ugly swamp of Heartless surrounding the castle. These people were still fucking lunatics, but Riku was kind of impressed. They not only turned the conversation away from Riku, but turned it into something beneficial for them, and they'd done it all as a team without trying to kill each other. Riku was in awe. He made a mental note that when the collective group wanted something, it was futile to resist.

Leon was barely out of the house, however, when Merlin materialized in the doorway, bag in tow, apparently back from another trip.

"Oh!" said Merlin. "I thought it was you. Right on time!"

Riku grunted. Had Merlin popped in sooner perhaps he could have warned Riku he might be spending an uncomfortable amount of time crouched into a ball.

"It's Merlin!" said Donald.

Riku rolled his eyes. "It's Merlin!" he mouthed, and mimicked swinging Way to the Dawn down on Donald's head.

"Sora and the gang said they're gonna help out!" said Yuffie. She was still bouncing.

"Splendid! We'll count on you!" said Merlin.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy all nodded.

"Right!"

"Ah, yes. Did you give them the cards, dear?" said Merlin.

"Oh!" said Aerith, and then began searching her pockets. She pulled out three small, violet cards and held them out to Sora. "Here...they're presents for you. Leon thought you might like to have them."

Sora held the card up to his face, turned it over, and read, "Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee Honorary Member!"

"Membership cards!" said Donald.

"Kinda cool, huh?" said Goofy.

Sora nodded like it was his birthday or something. Sora could be such a geek.

Riku frowned. He didn't have a membership card but that fucking bastard duck got one? Fuck him. Not that Riku wanted one—or would do anything with it—but it was the principle of the matter. Pleased that he had stole Leon's cigarettes that morning Riku peered back under the tablecloth to see Cid cursing at himself at the computer again.

"Hey, thanks, Leahhh...huh?" said Sora, spinning around. "Oh no! We're supposed to be at the bailey!"

Riku snorted. He missed Sora. He really did, and now with this typical Sora behavior right in front of him—nothing like Roxas—Riku missed him even more. This was the Sora he'd grown up with—sweet but not all there. Riku grinned and forgot the cramping in his legs for a moment. On Sora's way out he was intercepted again as Merlin scolded him about his magic and then Sora was gone and the door shut behind him. Riku groaned and rolled out from under the table.

The first thing he saw was Yuffie's ass as she walked right over him and then collapsed in a chair, exhaling.

"Whew! I thought he'd never leave!" said Yuffie.

"It wasn't that bad," said Aerith.

"Wasn't that bad?" said Riku. "I thought Leon was going to shit himself, and this one here couldn't stay in one place if her ninja skills depended on it."

"I know!" said Yuffie. "I was so nervous, but then Leon started talking about the Restoration, and..."

"Yeah!" said Riku. "I want you people to know you're fucking crazy the way you circled around Sora like that. I was expecting one of you to grab him by the throat and tell him to join the Restoration Committee or die

"Boy, do I." Leon laughed. "So...are you all."

Cid chuckled. Merlin scuttled around Riku's upper body sprawled out across the floor and said, "Riku! You're right on time as well!"

Riku glared.

"It's a shame you weren't," said Riku. "Maybe then I wouldn't have had to stuff myself down here."

"Nonsense," said Merlin. "I arrived just when I needed to as well. And you got to see your friend."

Riku sighed.

"Yeah. I did."

"I just hope you know how much we like you," said Yuffie. "I wouldn't do that for just anyone."

"He seems worried about you," said Aerith.

Riku laughed.

"Well look at me. He's got good reason to be. And I do appreciate you all doing that. I know how hard it was for you, Yuffie."

"It was!"

"I know. You're wonderful."

Yuffie stared at him open mouthed for a few seconds and then grinned.

"Oh, you. How am I supposed to stay mad at you when you say things like that?"

"The idea is that you won't."

"Flatterer. Well, you're wonderful too."

"Thank you." Riku shifted the rest of the way out from under the table and stood. "Well it's been good to see you all but I need to get back to Leon's before Sora comes back and I end up down there again. Let Leon know where I am."

"But you just got here!" said Yuffie.

"You don't have to go," said Aerith.

"I have to leave tonight anyway," said Riku, forcing a smile. "Got to help Sora. I'll be back. Promise."

"You and Cloud are suited for each other," said Yuffie, pouting. "Always running off right after you arrive."

"Ain't that the truth," said Cid.

"It's okay," said Aerith. "Don't let them get to you. I know you'll be back."

"Soon," said Riku.

Aerith nodded and kissed him on the cheek before taking her seat before her papers again. Yuffie sighed and pulled her body from her chair as if it took great effort.

"You better come back or I'll show you what an awesome ninja I really am."

"I'll hold you to that," said Riku, returning her hug. "I'll see ya, Cid."

"Yeah," said Cid, turning. "Take care of yourself."

"I'll try."

Riku gave one last reluctant look around Merlin's house and headed out into the borough for the house he couldn't stop thinking of as home.

* * *

Leon paused in the threshold for a moment and allowed himself a smile at the sight before him. Riku was slumped over the kitchen bar, an unlit cigarette dangling from his fingers which he brought to his lips and then tapped against the tray rim. Leon snorted.

"You have to light those things, you know," said Leon. He smirked and closed the door behind him.

Riku's eyebrows rose. He turned his hand over, glanced down at his cigarette, sighed, and shrugged. He slipped it back in the pack.

"I do that a lot. I think I'd smoke less if I didn't always feel like something was missing from my hand, you know?"

Leon nodded and took a seat opposite Riku.

"Tell me about it." Leon smiled. "Are you all right? That was kind of close, wasn't it?"

Riku shrugged again.

"I hate hiding from him like this."

"Well I'd say that you could always tell him, but I don't envy the idea of fighting with you so soon."

Riku lifted his eyes from the counter and glared at Leon. The orange flared like fire and then just as it had come, burned away into embers.

"I can't."

"I know."

"Guess I have to get out of here. Need to meet DiZ, anyway. So...Is Sora at Merlin's or Aerith's or something?"

"He's gone. I barely got through showing him our little problem around the castle before we were attacked by a bunch of Nobodies and Organization XIII showed up. _They _taunted him for a bit, called him Roxas several times, and then left. A new pathway to some other world opened and Sora said he had to leave. That other worlds needed him. So he's gone already."

Riku huffed and rubbed his forehead.

"They called him Roxas?"

"I wouldn't worry about it. Sora was actually pretty funny, going off about how they were just saying really random things to confuse him."

"It's not Sora I'm worried about. Don't underestimate what a pain in the ass the Roxas part of Sora can be."

"I'm sure it's nothing you and Sora can't handle."

"I know. It's just...I hate Organization XIII. I got to get back to DiZ."

"You will," said Leon, nodding. "Why don't you just...I don't know. Just stay here tonight. Get a good night's rest and leave first thing for the World that Never Was in the morning. And not only will you be rested but I'll cook you both dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow. How does that sound?"

Riku snorted.

"Like you're desperate for company other than Yuffie."

Leon shrugged. He lifted his eyebrows for a second and sighed before his face turned neutral again.

"That may be true. It's quiet around here with you and Cloud gone. Guess I got used to you being here and now..."

Riku cocked his head and smiled at Leon.

"Hey, I miss you, too. It's not like I want to go..."

Leon snorted.

"I know."

"Well..." said Riku, sighing. He stretched his arms over his head. "I guess you better get started on dinner then. I'm so hungry I could eat Pence."

"Who the hell is Pence?"

Riku laughed.

"Twilight Town. One of Roxas's friends."

"In that case I think you're right. Wouldn't want to incur Roxas's wrath any more than you already have."

"Yeah, I guess not," said Riku, staring down at the counter. For a moment he thought of DiZ waiting for him in the World that Never Was, of Cloud dying on some unknown world thanks to a planet's revenge, and of Sora, already off again, prepared to fulfill his role as hero. Riku took a breath. "First thing in the morning."

"After a good breakfast, anyway," said Leon.

Riku smirked.

"Right."

* * *

**_It's becoming quite a bit of time between updates, huh? Funny thing is I wrote most of this chapter a month ago. All I had to do was write the last scene and it took me until now to do it. Hm...I should probably stop doing that._**

**_Just to clarify, no, I haven't stopped writing this story nor do I plan on stopping it any time soon. It's just taking a while. So until next time I hope you enjoyed and take care._**

**_-Jenna_**


	70. Sudden Death

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 070. Truce

**Word Count**: 7,284

**Rating**: R

**Summary**: Cloud was cracking, and he didn't know how to stop it before he shattered. Tifa's having nothing of this.

**Disclaimer**: The emo-ness of this chapter forbids my brain from being witty. I own nothing. Really. In fact, I owe Disney movie club money. Take that, bitches.

**Author's Note**: Blame (thank) Beatrisu. She took Riku hostage and threatened to give him to Leon.

**Author's Note 2**: It seems Advent Children (as much as I love it) is as hard to write as it is to watch. I apologize for the lateness of this. I've also changed things around quite a bit to agree with Zack and the Kingdom Hearts storyline as I've detailed it within this story (and to my own personal liking). So I know it doesn't agree. Thanks.

* * *

**_Step Seventy: Sudden Death_**

Despite the knowledge that he now had Geostigma, things were a mess with Zack, and Kadaj was just a maggot to Sephiroth's fly, Cloud slept surprisingly well. Perhaps it had something to do with the peace of mind acquired by the long talk with Riku. It felt like a hurdle had been passed—as if so many bad things had happened in such a short amount of time that the karmic payback for such shitty circumstances was that things between them were finally comfortable again.

To Cloud's misfortune, however, it was business as usual the second he woke to find Zack hovering over him. His first thought was to wonder whether the incidents from 'The Kiss' on were simply hallucinations (or a hellish dream) until he registered that he was still in the Sector Six Church. Cloud blinked a few times. Zack had the decency to look sheepish for a moment, but then a wide, boyish grin overcame his lips.

"I love how even after all these years it's still a challenge to get your ass out of bed before ten."

Cloud coughed and without even fully realizing he was doing it, covered his Geostigma-ridden arm with the blanket. Zack moved back a few steps to allow Cloud enough room to rise into a seated position. As he blinked through weary eyes and tried to adjust to the ethereal light of the church (which was a shock after staring into the back of his eyelids) Zack grabbed the pillow and took the spot Cloud's head vacated.

"What're you doin' here?" said Cloud in a drowsy slur. Zack laughed.

"I've come to retrieve your sorry ass. You never came back and Tifa was worried you might be hurt. I mean, you just took off again, and you'd been drinking, but since you were upset she said we'd give you a day before coming after you. Don't worry, though. She isn't mad this time. She is, I mean, but not at you."

Cloud rubbed his eyes with the hand on his good arm and yawned.

"You?" said Cloud.

"Yeah," said Zack. He laughed a little, looked away, and rubbed the back of his neck. "You should have heard the ass reaming I got all day yesterday."

"Why's she mad at you?"

"You've been here less than two weeks and I'm responsible for you taking off for a night twice now."

"You didn't do anything."

"Oh, come on," said Zack, laughing again. He shifted, clearly uncomfortable. "Everyone already knows what happened, and you and I were both there, so there's no point in lying. I acted like a drunken idiot. Actually, I acted like a pathetic drunken slut, throwing myself at you like that, but it's all the same."

Cloud swallowed and stared at the flower bed. He had been really hoping to avoid this conversation, and he wanted even less to be having it at this time of morning only minutes after being forcefully yanked from the sweet state of unconsciousness. He exhaled a soft sigh, closed his eyes for a moment, and felt his heart seize and sink. Zack may have thrown himself at Cloud, but Zack was hurting, too, and Cloud had acted like a jackass.

"You didn't do anything wrong," said Cloud. "It was what it was and I overreacted."

Zack shook his head.

"I shouldn't have kissed you. I know you're in a relationship, and it was immature of me to get drunk like that and spew word vomit about…you know…us. Or what us used to be. I crossed a line there. I deserved to get walked out on."

Cloud shrugged.

"It's not a big deal. Let's just not do it again and we'll call it even. Have your drunken sob fests with Leon or something. Shiva knows he's got to have a lot of stuff to cry about somewhere in him if only because I drive him crazy."

Zack dropped his head and turned his face toward the ground. He smiled for a moment, but it was a sad sort of smile that didn't reach his eyes. It appeared forced as if even though he was smiling, he wasn't quite sure of why he was doing it. Perhaps it was some kind of irony where something was funny even though it wasn't really a laugh out loud kind of funny and funny in that horrible way that kind of makes you want to cry out in pain. Cloud tore his eyes away from Zack to stare at the flowers again.

"You've changed," said Zack after a long silence.

Cloud swallowed again and cleared his throat. "You've been saying that a lot."

Zack raised his eyebrows as if to agree, sighed, and nodded. "Yeah, I have."

"Is it a good change?"

It was the one question Cloud had been afraid to ask. He didn't have to inquire as to why Zack thought this so fervently; he had given enough reasons during his drunken outpour alone. He didn't have to ask what these changes were; Zack had provided enough answers to that question as well. What did remain ambivalent was whether or not Zack thought that these changes he spoke of were any good, and with the alarming frequency of his comments, Cloud wondered if Zack thought any different about him. He wondered if maybe the changes were bad—if he had somehow lost himself, became codependent, or something else negative he was too close to the situation to see. The over analytical dissection he was performing on himself, however, was cut short as Zack formed that funny but not funny smile again and nodded.

"Well, yeah," he said, and shrugged. "You've really…I don't know. You've grown into yourself. You're stronger than you were before, and I'm not talking about physically. You're more confident. It's a good thing. It just…depresses me, I guess. You're not like I remember you. I mean, you are, but…You are in a totally different way, if that makes any sense."

Cloud sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes moved from the flowers and looked everywhere except for Zack as he tried to think of how to reply to that. Nothing good came to mind. He couldn't even think of a decent way to close this conversation in the hopes it would never arise from where it was buried again.

"How's the weather?" Cloud asked. It was a crappy, half-assed attempt to change the subject, but Zack laughed anyway, looked up at the holes in the church roof, and gave Cloud a wry smile.

"It's nice out today."

Cloud bit his lip. "That's good."

"I see you've got yourself set up pretty nice here. Plan on moving in?"

Cloud smiled, shrugged, and looked to the meager amount of items he had sprawled around the pathetic bed he'd devised. His eyes roved up to meet Zack's.

"I was thinking about it. Beats the hovel I was staying in a couple months ago before the great Hollow Bastion Restoration. The walls still have holes in them, though…"

"Eh," said Zack. "That just means you like the fixer-uppers."

Cloud's face grew deadly serious; he nodded. "Oh, yeah. Makes me feel like a man."

This time Zack actually did smile as he laughed. Cloud found he couldn't help but smile with him. He felt the tension break. Zack snorted.

"At least something makes you feel like a man."

Cloud laughed and shoved his shoulder against Zack. "Hey, don't go picking on me. We both know I couldn't use tools to save my life."

"And yet you can lug this thing around," said Zack. He picked up the core of First Tsurugi and gave it a swing. "How you manage to not kill yourself with it…"

"I know. It's a mystery to many."

"I still can't believe you've learned to laugh at yourself. I'm impressed."

"It was bound to happen eventually," Cloud said with a shrug. "Everyone else does. And anyway, I figured if I took myself too seriously I might start acting like Leon. Moping around. Dedicating my life to the future of Hollow Bastion. Ready to bust a vein anytime something goes awry. Sucking down cigarettes while I wax poetical about my shortcomings. Waking up at five in the morning."

"Shiva, we can't have that."

"Tell me about it."

"Riku had to point this out to you, didn't he?"

Cloud smiled despite that this was Zack and the tension could potentially return. "Of course he did. We also both know I'm not perceptive enough to figure that out on my own. I doubt if I'd smile much at all if Riku hadn't come along. Too busy moping around and waxing poetical about my shortcomings."

"No wonder you and Leon get along so well."

"Yeah. We're miserable people, and you know what they say about misery…"

"I guess you're lucky you have Riku, then."

"Nah. You're lucky we have Riku to make light of misery. Makes us somewhat tolerable people to coexist with. Me, anyway. Leon's still waking up at five in the morning."

"But not you."

Cloud snorted. "I wish I wasn't. Remember what they say about misery? Leon needs his company."

Zack laughed again and stared at a spot on the floor. "I can't believe how—Shiva, this is going to sound retarded."

"What?"

"I can't believe how _old_ he's gotten. Tall. He looks…"

"Like he'd be the queer instead of me?"

Zack frowned. "What?"

"Well…you know…the fur…"

Zack snorted. "I never looked at it that way."

Cloud's smile dropped and he nodded. "I know what you mean. I was shocked, too, when I first got to Traverse Town and saw him again. Couldn't believe it really was him at first. You aren't really a surprise because we were here together, you know? And Tifa and Yuffie were kind of a shock, but…I don't know. Girls always seem to change less than guys. They still kind of look the same. Different, but just in that they're older. Less awkward. More mature. So even Aerith wasn't even that different, but Leon…Man. Last I remembered…"

"He was short," said Zack, laughing. "I still picture him that way. Small. Thin. Baby faced. Then I remember what he looks like now and…Yeah. I still can't believe how much older he looks. And bigger! It's like…I don't know if I could kick his ass anymore, you know?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't fuck with Leon."

"That's another thing! Leon. What the hell is that?"

"Hey, you don't have to tell me about that. I keep trying to tell him Leon Leonheart sounds retarded but he's not listening to me."

"It's not just that," said Zack, and he laughed. "It's just…Squall's such a _cooler_ name. Who the hell actually _chooses_ to be called Leon?"

Cloud shrugged. "I'm in no position to be judging anyone's name."

"What's wrong with your name?"

Cloud stared. "Are you serious? I don't know who named me, but I swear it was a freakin' bohemian. All Aerith-like in their oneness with nature. Seriously. Who names a child 'Cloud' and why doesn't anyone question it?"

Zack blinked. "I never looked at it that way."

"It's like naming your kid 'Grass.'"

"Suppose there will never be a Cloud Junior, then."

"Not if I get a say in it."

"I never knew you hated your name."

"I don't really hate it; I just don't get it. It's not a real name. My parents, whoever they were, never gave me a chance. Cloud Strife? Dear Shiva, why?"

"Sadistic intentions?" said Zack.

Cloud laughed. "Maybe."

"So…You feeling up to heading back to Tifa's?"

Cloud rolled his eyes. "I'm never up to heading back to Tifa's."

"She annoys you that much?"

"Don't get me wrong; I love Tifa. I love her like a sister, but like a sister, she drives me crazy sometimes."

"At least Vincent's there."

"Oh, don't even get me started on him. That guy has more emotional issues than Leon-Squall and me put together. The best part of being at Tifa's is the kids, and that's just depressing now."

Zack took a deep inhale and nodded. "Denzel's Geostigma. I know. Depresses me, too."

"He's too young for this. He had nothing to do with Sephiroth or the Jenova project." Cloud's hand came up to gently cover the spot where his own Geostigma marred his flesh. "It isn't fair."

"I know. I couldn't believe what had happened since I died when Tifa told me about it all. This place really fell to shit for awhile, didn't it?"

"Still isn't much better in case you haven't noticed."

Zack sighed. "I've noticed. That's why we're going to go after Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo, right? Do something to make this place a little better, right?"

Cloud nodded. He thought of his Geostigma, of Riku out there helping Sora along his path, and of everyone back in Hollow Bastion trying to restore their home. There wasn't time to be ready anymore.

"Yeah," said Cloud, after a pause. "Right."

-0-

Tifa didn't mention anything about Cloud's disappearing act until after Marlene was in bed. Upon his return Tifa merely asked him if he was hungry and both Cloud and Zack sat down to the table for lunch with her and Marlene. Vincent, he learned, was out at the moment, meeting up with Reeve in regards of something to do with the WRO and probably brooding over his miserable existence. As Marlene chattered away about everything she did yesterday and chastised Cloud for not coming home, Cloud wondered how he'd become surrounded by all the crazy drama in his life. He kept his Geostigma-ridden arm close into his body; from the way Tifa's gaze was a little too low to be looking at his face, she noticed.

Zack retreated outside with Marlene after lunch while Tifa prepared for the bar's evening business. Cloud took the opportunity to visit Denzel. His face was paler than Cloud remembered it being only two days ago. His eyes were duller. Cloud read to him, but Denzel was in and out of consciousness, eyes heavy lidded when they weren't closed. He barely spoke, and his voice sounded thin when he did.

"Just rest," Cloud said, as Denzel struggled to stay awake.

"I don't want you...to go again..." Denzel said.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Cloud sat with him long after he was asleep. He continued to read. He stared at the stained bandages covering Denzel's forehead. He looked at his own arm and the gravity of the situation piled on him. His chest felt tight; his eyes stung. Cloud waited, hoped, prayed for something to change. He wanted to go back; he wanted to go forward. The walls closed up on either side, caving him and Denzel in, both doomed and fated for death—Sephiroth's last laugh, if you will, because Cloud had always suspected that he would win in the end.

He shook his head and gripped his arm, not on the Geostigma-marred spot, but just above it—close enough that it hurt, anyway. Pain shot up to his elbow, deep in his bones, and Cloud winced. He needed to stop thinking this way. He was going to fight this thing, damnit. He was going to kill Sephiroth for good, even if he went down with him. Sephiroth could give one last single-finger salute to Gaea and its inhabitants if he liked, but Cloud needed to end this here. Enough people had died and suffered already because of him, and Cloud was no better if he couldn't push his insecurities aside long enough to stop him. Riku had been a driving force up until now, but just because Cloud didn't have the same problems Riku did—even if being around Riku sometimes made Cloud feel like he had his shit together—that didn't mean his issues weren't still lurking. So he didn't look like Ansem. So he hadn't run around with Maleficent and fallen deeper into the darkness. Cloud felt like an idiot.

All this time it had been an ego boost of sorts, being there for Riku when he was needed. He felt like something—someone—when Riku had been going through hell and Cloud had been his sanity. Sephiroth had always been there in the back of his mind, looming over him, but Cloud had finally felt like he was pulling himself together. He vowed to finish things so he and Riku might have a chance at something very near a healthy relationship, but he hadn't really committed. He'd allowed himself to slide, hadn't tried to better himself, because he'd been too busy hiding behind Riku, using Riku as his driving force when what Cloud had really needed to do was focus. He had to find his own strength, his own motivation, resolve, and this time...

Cloud winced and stared hard at Denzel's forehead. He'd be damned if he let Sephiroth tear him and the people he loved apart again. Cloud might as well just lie down and die if the next time Sephiroth laid slaughtered by his hand the nagging sensation was there and Cloud had to wait it out for the next round. He had to make peace with himself first, and then it was time for sudden death.

A long sigh escaped his lips and Cloud stared up at the ceiling. His chest pulled tight. He'd been around this block before. He'd given himself these same, tired motivational speeches countless times. Depression and darkness ebbed through his veins. Resolve would be all well and good if he could just figure out how he was supposed to do this. With his head gripped between his hands, Cloud shut his eyes and took a long breath. He was cracking, and he didn't know how to stop before he shattered.

What was more effectual? Fighting for yourself and right to live or fighting to protect the ones you loved? Cloud couldn't find the answer. That was how Zack found him for dinner, with his head gripped in his hands and eyes shut, sitting on Denzel's bed and trying to make sense and sanity of it all. It seemed like forever ago, and Cloud realized it practically was—almost half of his life—that the darkness hadn't been part of it. His breathing was heavy and ragged. He hadn't even heard Zack come in, didn't know he was there until Zack's hand was on his shoulder and Cloud lunged forward, practically jumping out of his skin.

"Vincent wanted me to tell you dinner's ready," said Zack. He peered at Denzel and then Cloud. When he said nothing more, Cloud slowly lowered his still-raised hands, arms shaking. He looked up at Zack and suddenly felt tired. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just..." Cloud released a weak, bitter laugh and shrugged. "I'll be okay."

Zack's mouth pulled tight. He stared hard at Cloud, almost as if he were looking right through him. Cloud shifted.

"If you need to talk or something..."

"Yeah, I know."

"It's no good keeping it all to yourself."

"I don't really feel up to talking about my feelings right now if you don't mind."

Zack nodded. "Yeah, sure, but if you change your mind later..."

"I know."

Cloud's reply had come out a little harsher than he intended, but his heart was beating hard against his ribcage. His throat felt tight. He gave Denzel one last look, still sleeping in his bed and face taut from the pain, and swallowed. Cloud brushed past Zack and headed for the stairs.

It was once Marlene was in bed and Seventh Heaven was closed that Tifa brought up yesterday's events.

"I heard you met with Reno and Rude yesterday," she said and placed a glass of amber liquid in front of Cloud. She gave Zack a glass of water.

Cloud frowned. "Where did you hear that?"

"Johnny," said Vincent.

"Who's Johnny?"

"The guy that runs the place you met Reno and Rude," said Tifa. "He overheard my name and made it a point to tell me what happened."

"He's pathetically in love with her," said Zack, snickering. Tifa punched his shoulder. Zack winced and made an irritated whimpering sound.

"He is not. We have mutual respect for each other."

"He loves her," Zack hissed. Cloud almost smiled. "So...you went to see Reno and Rude?"

"We met for lunch," said Cloud. "I wanted to know more about what was going on with Kadaj."

"And?"

Cloud shrugged. "Rufus Shinra is holding Jenova's head hostage, Kadaj is trying to get it from him, and I'm pretty damn certain that Kadaj is the vessel Sephiroth is going to use to return. Nothing unusual considering Sephiroth is concerned."

"That sounds just fantastic," said Zack. "So what are we going to do about it?"

Cloud shrugged again and sighed this time. "Hell if I know. Wait for Sephiroth to return and run him through with First Tsurugi?"

"And finish it this time," Tifa said. Cloud glared.

"Yes. And finish it this time," said Cloud.

"Give him a break," said Vincent. "These things take time."

Tifa opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but Cloud crossed his arms, glared at the table, and she closed her mouth again. An uneasy silence spread across the table. Zack cleared his throat.

"Well, you know you have me to back you up," Zack said.

"You have all of us," said Tifa.

"I know," said Cloud. "And I appreciate it, but Sephiroth is something I need to do on my own."

"Sure, Sephiroth, but I could keep Yazoo distracted," said Zack, smirking. "That guy really grates on my nerves."

"Really?" said Cloud. "I found Loz the more annoying of the two."

"Nah. I'll just kick him, insult Jenova, and make him cry. That's no fun. I could do that to Squally-kins."

Tifa smirked. "Refuse to call him Leon?"

"Point blank refuse to call him Leon. His name is Squall and that's what I'm going to call him. Or variations of Squall, but that's beside the point."

"I think he'd expect no less of you," said Vincent.

"So..." said Tifa, "do you have a course of action or are you playing it by ear at this point?"

Cloud huffed and rubbed his face. "I'm waiting it out and letting Kadaj make the next move. There's no point in trying to do anything before that. I don't know what he's up to, or when Sephiroth plans on showing his face, so all I can do it sit tight and respond. I thought we went through this before." Tifa pressed her lips together, stared at his Geostigma-stained arm for a moment, and looked down at the table. Vincent glanced at her but said nothing. Cloud's cell phone went off in his pocket and he checked the display. "It's Riku. I have to take this."

Tifa looked up at him briefly, eyebrows raised, face drawn and weary. She nodded. "Okay."

Cloud rose from the table and escaped upstairs, flipping his phone open halfway there and holding it to his ear. "Hey."

There was a short pause on the line and then Riku said, "You sound tired."

"My life is driving me crazy. How are things on your end?"

"Eh...Okay, I guess. I saw everyone today. And I do mean everyone."

Cloud raised his eyebrows as he shut the bedroom door and sat on his bed. "You went to see people other than Leon?"

"Yeah. Figured I should get it out of the way. It went pretty well, actually. Aerith was great about it..."

"Of course."

"Yeah, and Yuffie's...Yuffie's Yuffie."

"So she made fun of you in a lighthearted way."

"Something like that. Cid acted like it didn't even matter, so yeah, it went okay. But then Sora showed up and I had to hide under a table so he didn't see me, and..."

"Sora showed up?"

"Yeah. You should have been here, Cloud. They were like vultures. They swooped down upon him and got him to join the Restoration Committee in under five minutes. And Yuffie even managed to keep it quiet about me, so that's good."

"They got him to join the Restoration Committee?"

"Yeah, and the pricks gave him this Honorary Member card like he's special or something. I didn't get a freaking card."

Cloud barked a laugh. "Well I guess we just aren't special being Leon's slave bitches and all."

"Yeah. Cards are only for really special people that get to run out on duties and don't have to stay with Leon because he's lonely."

"What?"

"Eh..." Riku sighed over the line. "I kind of feel like shit. See Organization XIII showed up and taunted Sora a bit before he took off to save some world from the Heartless like a good Keyblade master. I was going to hurry my ass over to the World that Never Was 'cause I have to help him and all, but Leon suckered me into staying the night with promises of food. I think he's lonely."

Cloud frowned and stared at the floor. "I guess he does get left behind on his own a lot. I know it's been bothering him, but I didn't think it...I don't know. Makes me feel like shit, too, I guess."

"Yeah, he's so...I don't know. Self-sufficient? Something like that. But anyway, I kind of feel like shit leaving him, but I don't have much a choice, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. I don't have much of a choice, either."

"I know. So anyway, I'm still in Hollow Bastion and I'm leaving for the World that Never Was tomorrow morning, so if you don't hear from me for a day or two that's why."

"Okay."

"How are things with you?"

Cloud sighed and stared at the ceiling. His minor breakdown in Denzel's room came to mind and Cloud quickly pushed it away. "Uneventful," he finally answered. "Tifa's up my ass about Kadaj—I'm back at Tifa's, by the way. She's also been eyeing my arm. I think she knows—or suspects, anyway—about the Geostigma but isn't saying anything yet. Zack and I are on good terms again. Other than that, not much has happened."

"No news from Reno or meetings with Kadaj or anything?"

"Nothing."

"Okay, well, I just wanted to check in, see how you were, let you know what was going on with me. That kind of thing."

"I appreciate it. I'll let you go and get some sleep. You've got a busy day tomorrow."

"Yeah. I miss you."

"I miss you, too." There was a long pause and Cloud closed his eyes. He did. He missed Riku more than he could express. He longed to hold him again if only for the familiarity, longed to see his face, kiss his lips, but there was nothing they could do right now but wait it out. Cloud sighed and opened his eyes again. "I love you."

A soft laugh issued over the line, and in Cloud's mind he could see Riku's smile—softer than normal, a bit of sadness in his eyes—and it pulled at his heart in so many ways Cloud couldn't even manage to list them all.

"I love you, too," Riku said. "See you soon?"

A small, half-smile crossed Cloud's face. "Yeah. See you soon."

"All right. Good night."

"Good night." Cloud flipped his phone shut and stared at it for a moment before tossing it on the bedside table and dressing for sleep.

-0-

It was sometime after breakfast—after Cloud made sure to cover his Geostigma arm with a shoulder pad and an open sleeve with the intention of deferring Tifa's prying eyes (though someone was sure to question his fashion choices)—that Cloud got the call from Reno. Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo had been seen around Edge and kids with the Geostigma were being reported missing all across the city. If it were a coincidence, Reno claimed he'd abstain from alcohol for an entire year. This was something like Leon promising to stop being such a stoic bitch or Yuffie swearing to stop being so hyperactive. It was simply unheard of, but Cloud couldn't blame him, because he'd stop obsessing over his faults if it were a coincidence, too. At the end of the call he hung up, called Zack up to their bedroom, and explained the situation.

"Still feel like backing me up?" said Cloud.

"I'm not about to quit now," said Zack. He grinned. "So what's the plan?"

"We're going to meet Reno and Rude at the town center. From there it's all reconnaissance. We need to figure out who's missing and see if we can track them down before anyone gets hurt. Feel up to it?"

"Of course. You think I'm going to let you run around and take all the glory for yourself again?"

Cloud nodded. "Then let's go. Reno's impatient and the less whining I have to hear from him the better. I already have a headache. I don't want to make it any worse than it already is."

They gave Tifa a quick explanation of the situation before heading out for the town center on foot. Reno and Rude were already waiting by the monument in the center of Edge. From the way Reno kept checking his watch, Cloud thought it might be best to turn around and run away now, but only Shiva knew whatever Kadaj was up to now. Cloud tried to steel his patience, but controlling his mouth around Reno was a real feat most days. It was kind of ironic, being as quiet a guy as he was, but something about Reno just sparked something in him that inspired rage and carefully chosen, unkind words.

"Took you long enough, yo," Reno muttered as Cloud and Zack approached. Rude nodded a greeting toward them both. "And you brought Fair."

"Couldn't let Chocobo-head play the hero all on his own," said Zack, smirking. "He's already the go-to guy for Sephiroth. The least I can do is split some skulls with the other Jenova freaks."

"Have you learned any more about the situation?" Cloud asked.

Reno snorted. "Oh, yeah, I've had loads of time to investigate waiting here for you, yo," said Reno. "If you wanted me to start without you ya shoulda just said so over the phone."

"Sometimes I want to spit on you," said Cloud.

"Now, boys, I think that's enough," said Zack. "So what's up? Do you have a plan or what?"

"We split up," said Rude. "Reno and I will take the south and west part of Edge. You two take the north and east."

"Check in on the Sector Six Slums, too, yo," said Reno. "They were seen hanging around there last night."

"We should meet back here in an hour or so," said Rude. "Does that work for you?"

"The less time I have to spend with Reno the better," said Cloud.

"You know what, Strife..." said Reno.

"Your speech patterns make me feel my brain cells dying?"

"Sounds great," said Zack, grabbing Cloud by his good arm and dragging him away. "In an hour."

"This isn't over, yo!" Reno called as Rude followed the example and dragged him in the other direction.

"Was that really necessary?" said Cloud, brushing Zack away once Reno and Rude were out of sight.

"Yes, I think it was," was the only explanation Cloud could badger out of him.

They spent the better part of the hour wandering the north and east parts of Edge. Zack did most of the talking; Cloud was content to stand back and listen. After twenty minutes Zack demanded he stop scowling because people were too nervous to talk when Cloud was glaring at them. They left extra time to get back to the monument before Reno, but Cloud's smirk was immediately ripped away. His headache from this morning throbbed a little harder.

"What about Sector Six, yo?" Reno asked after Zack's report.

"I knew we were forgetting something," said Zack.

"We'll meet you at the church in a half hour," Rude said, and began dragging Reno away again. "We could have used more time, anyway."

"Wait, yo!" said Reno. He walked in an awkward, sideways step, feet moving away from the monument but his torso turned toward Cloud. "We didn't even yell at them!"

"Come on, Reno."

"How could we forget Sector Six?" said Zack, laughing. "You live there."

"I don't live there," Cloud snapped. "I just...slept there. Once."

"Right," said Zack. He laughed, tossed his head, and followed Rude's lead by grabbing Cloud's arm.

It was such an abrupt movement Cloud hadn't had time to prepare for the pain that shot up his arm from where Zack's hand was closed around the Geostigma. Sharp, unforgiving pangs exploded to his fingertips; throbbing ache spread through his shoulder. He let out a yelp—a sharp, high-pitched sound that made Zack jump and release. His arm recoiled back as if bitten.

"I didn't grab you that hard, did I?" Zack asked.

"Eh..." said Cloud, mouth open. "No, I...It's nothing."

Zack's eyes narrowed. "Is that where you were bruised? Is it still there?"

"It's nothing," Cloud said, a little sharper this time. He brushed past Zack and headed in the direction of the Sector Six Slums remains.

He felt the tension grow tight between them when Zack hurried up to his side. Neither said anything, but Cloud was aware of the way he cradled his arm into his chest and the way Zack eyed the sleeve. Cloud sighed. It had been hurting all morning, but Cloud had become so acclimated to the pain he hardly noticed it until just then. He felt weak, too—dizzy. Cloud assumed it was a side affect with the way Denzel grew tired quickly and spent most of his time in bed. He was going to need to be more careful if he was going to hide this much longer. Crying out, cradling his arm, and focusing on headaches wasn't going to make anyone worry less about him nor finish Sephiroth off any sooner.

The pressure Zack had put on his arm only made it worse. Walking around town already drained him, but after that sudden rush of pain Cloud felt ready to crawl into bed and stay there for a few days. He hung back farther this time and stared at the ground as Zack asked around to the few people that remained in Sector Six. It was the third person that had any information of significance. They had just seen one of them—the "big, ugly one," the kid called him—around the Sector Six church about twenty minutes ago. Loz.

"Think he was looking for you?" said Zack.

Cloud lifted his good arm, touched his forehead with his fingertips, and blinked a few times. The truth was that he was almost sure Loz was looking for him, but the pain in his head wouldn't let him properly put a sentence together. He settled for giving Zack a weary nod.

Zack frowned. "Headache getting worse?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Let's go check the church out. We're supposed to meet Reno and Rude there soon anyway."

Zack regarded him a few seconds longer. He worried his lower lip between his teeth, pursed his lips, and nodded. His eyes remained shifty.

Cloud's head already felt ready to bust in two, his arm ready to spit open, when they entered the Sector Six Church. Zack's breath hitched, and when Cloud's eyes focused they landed on a slim figure lying on her back at the other end of the church. Cloud blinked a few times taking in the face, the hair, the apparel from this distance. He stopped breathing for a second.

"Tifa...?" Zack whispered. "Is that...?"

It was probably part frantic and part clumsy that Cloud rushed across the building, Zack on his heels. Cloud fell to his knees by her side among the flower bed. He ignored the blinding pain in his arm as he lifted her torso into his lap.

"Tifa?" said Zack, again.

"Tifa!" Cloud cried. His eyes roved over her arms, legs, and face, taking in the wounds, the blood...

"What was she doing here?!" Zack snapped. "We told her about Kadaj. We told her to stay back at the bar!"

Cloud looked up and his eyes met Zack's. "Loz?"

Zack's mouth set tight; his chin showed the hint of a tremble. "Looks that way. Wait...look..."

Cloud glanced down, studying Tifa's face, and then it happened again. Her eyelids fluttered.

"Tifa? Tifa!" Cloud shouted.

"Cloud...?" Her voice was weak.

"And Zack," said Zack, kneeling beside her. "What happened?"

"I don't..." Tifa's voice trailed off; her eyelids fell shut. Cloud swallowed; his arm was practically on fire, but he pulled her torso closer. He took a breath, and then Tifa's eyes flew open. She shot into a seated position, rushed to stand. "Marlene!?"

"Marlene!?" said Zack. "What about Marlene?"

It was no use; Tifa had already passed out again. Cloud glanced around the church, eyes wide, searching. He noted the torn flowers, the wasted, battered state of the already crumbling church.

"Marlene couldn't have been with her..." said Zack, looking around. "She just...couldn't..."

Cloud's breathing grew heavy. His head swirled; the church spun around him. Pain in his head hammered against his temples, the inside of his eyes, his forehead. He gasped. Tifa's body weight pressed against his arm sent daggers through his muscle to the bone. His face twisted, contorted, and he lost grip on Tifa. Black ichor seeped through his bandages, barely visible beneath the sleeve. Zack's voice was fuzzy, heavy, and slurred in his ears. The last thing Cloud saw before everything blinked out was the outline of Reno's figure in the church doorway. He embraced unconsciousness.

-0-

Cloud blinked once and then twice before it occurred to him he was staring at an unfamiliar ceiling in an unfamiliar room. After the third blink he realized he wasn't alone. He pushed himself up to a half-seated position.

"You know, you're pretty heavy," said Reno.

Cloud groaned. Reno and Rude stood in the bedroom doorway. Zack sat in a corner, bathed in shadows, staring (glaring?) at him. Tifa was laid out on the full-size bed next to him, eyes open, and looking up at him. Cloud avoided all gazes and stared out the large window. The view was familiar. This must have been Tifa's and Vincent's room.

"Marlene and Denzel are gone," said Zack.

"Kadaj's gang took the kids," said Reno.

"All of the kids," said Rude.

"I figured," said Cloud.

"And there's something else..." said Tifa.

Zack stood up from his chair and crossed the room. He perched on the end of the bed by Cloud's feet and dropped a black-stained dressing cloth on his feet.

"When were you planning on explaining that?" said Zack.

Cloud sighed again but said nothing. A brief thought flitted through his head about just finding out himself, but a nagging voice that suspiciously sounded like Riku told him to grow up already. Cloud shrugged.

"What were you planning to do?" said Tifa. "Shut us all out? Hide it? Give up and die?"

"There's no cure," said Cloud.

"Yeah, but, that's not stopping Denzel, is it?"

"I didn't want to worry anyone about it," said Cloud. He tried not to scowl, but it came out anyway. Tifa glared back. Reno cleared his throat and turned his head down. "There's just nothing you can do," said Cloud, lamely. "It is what it is."

"We can fight it together," said Tifa. "We can help each other. I know we can."

"And even if we can't do something, that's just not the kind of thing you hide," said Zack. "We're all in this together."

Cloud rolled his eyes to the ceiling and stared. He almost scoffed, but decided that was probably the worst thing he could do right now. He scoured his mind, searching for a reply that was both sincere and acceptable. He couldn't just shout that they weren't all in it together. That would just make them angry, but it was the truth. It was Cloud they were counting on, Cloud who had to find his light, and Cloud who in the end had to stop Sephiroth. They couldn't help him with that. They couldn't do anything for his Geostigma. Cloud had to help himself, and at the rate he was going, there was a good chance that wasn't ever going to happen. He was weak; physically now, too, to match his equally pathetic heart. He couldn't help Riku; he burdened Leon. All he did was crush Zack, and Tifa was perpetually ticked off at him. He couldn't even go out and track down Kadaj today, and though he still didn't understand what Tifa was doing in that church, he knew that instead of helping her he'd just passed out with her. If it hadn't been for Zack, Reno, and Rude...

"Tifa, Zack...I'm not fit to help anyone," said Cloud, his voice soft. "Not my family. Not my friends. Nobody."

Tifa sighed. She was silent for a moment, and then she said, "Dilly-dally, shilly-shally..." Cloud frowned. He looked to Zack, but Zack was staring at Tifa as if she'd grown an extra head. Tifa huffed. "Dilly-dally, shilly-shally..."

"I think she wants you to move on, yo," said Reno.

"Is that an Aerith pearl of wisdom?" said Zack. "Sounds like something she'd say..."

"Who's Aerith?" said Reno. Zack frowned and waved him away.

"Listen, I know what you're trying to do," said Cloud, "but really...Why don't you send Vincent or something?"

"Because Vincent is away and that's what you're here for, isn't it? Kadaj? Sephiroth?! Whatever?!" said Tifa.

Cloud sighed and swallowed.

"Where are they? Did you find out?" said Cloud.

"They're at their base," said Reno. "The Forgotten City."

"Go," said Cloud. "You guys go." Reno frowned. He looked at Rude and they both nodded. "I have to talk to Rufus."

"Stop running!" Tifa cried. Reno and Rude stopped in the door and looked at her. Cloud sighed again. "I know..." she continued. "Even if you find the kids, you might not be able to help them. Maybe something will happen that can never unhappen. That scares you, doesn't it? And a lot of bad things have been happening for you lately, and that only makes it worse, but you need to think about now. Really take it in.

"Look at you! You keep running off. Everything's about Zack or Riku or your darkness or Sephiroth. You're always brooding, always going off to anyone who will listen about how horrible you are, but everything isn't about what happened with Zack, or what Riku did, because none of that has anything to do with you! Riku's issues are his own! Zack's issues are his own! And they aren't the only people who care about you and worry for you! You think you've got it so damn hard. Well you hate being alone, so let people in!

"You're so worried about everything else, but there are two kids right now that count on you, waiting for you. And you're right. If you stay here, you aren't fit to help anyone!"

Tifa huffed and took a breath. Cloud didn't answer, but stared mutely ahead. Zack dropped his eyes to the floor. Reno and Rude shifted by the door and then they, too, dropped their faces toward the floor when Tifa punctuated her monologue by dropped her arms and slapping them against the mattress.

"You go," said Reno. "The base is all yours."

Reno and Rude both nodded in Tifa's and then Zack's directions and left the room.

"Well?" said Tifa once they were gone.

Zack clutched the Geostigma-stained bandage and sighed.

* * *

**_Dear God, only thirty to go._**

**_I cannot pretend not to feel drained after that._**

**_And no, I didn't give up on this story. It's just so intense and involved that it wears me out._**

**_Comments are love._**

**_Thanks for sticking with me this far._**

**_And I suppose this chapter is dedicated to Beatrisu. Is Riku safe for a few days now?_**

**_Love to everyone._**


	71. Of Responsibility and Childish Want

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: 071. Patience

**Word Count**: 5934

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku wanted to be back in the safe familiarity of Hollow Bastion with busted water lines and infected computer programs. He was supposed to be growing up.

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing related to the Kingdom Hearts franchise. I'm sure it shows.

* * *

**_Step Seventy-One: Of Responsibility and Childish Want_**

On the computer screen, Roxas regarded Donald and Goofy; he looked at the next door with hesitation. DiZ typed something into the computer; he stood and walked toward the data projection machine. Riku took the vacated chair as Roxas entered the large, blinding white room where Sora was fast asleep in the center. DiZ was standing before the pod as Roxas approached.

"At last," said DiZ, "the Keyblade's chosen one."

"Who are you talking to?" said Roxas. "Me? Or Sora?"

"To half of Sora, of course," DiZ answered. "You reside in darkness. What I need is someone who can move about the realm of light and destroy Organization XIII."

"Why? Who are you?"

"I am a servant of the world. And if I'm a servant, then you should consider yourself a tool, at best."

"Was that . . . Was that supposed to be a joke? 'Cause I'm not laughing!"

Roxas called the Keyblade to him and rushed forward, tried to attack, but it simply cut through the data projection leaving DiZ unharmed.

"My apologies," said DiZ. "This is only a data-based projection."

Roxas screamed and attempted to hack away at DiZ. It only slashed through the data, harmlessly. The projection of DiZ disappeared and then reappeared behind him.

"Come, over here," said DiZ.

"I hate you so much..." Roxas swung the Keyblade as if to punctuate the point.

"You should share some of that hatred with Sora. He's far too nice for his own good."

Roxas swung the Keyblade again. "No! My heart belongs to me!"

He ran forward a second time and tried to attack the projection, but it disappeared again, and when it did the pod in which Sora was contained cracked open to reveal him inside. Roxas held the Keyblade poised and stared up at the face he'd seen so often in his dreams.

"Sora," he said. Roxas lowered the Keyblade and stepped closer, his eyes focused on nothing but Sora floating in the pod. "You're lucky," said Roxas. "Looks like my summer vacation is...over."

-0-

"DiZ!" Riku shouted.

"What?"

"You're going to the World that Never Was, right? To check up on Organization XIII?"

"Correct," said DiZ. "We have to discover what they're up to and guide Sora along the way. That irksome redhead is bad enough."

"I agree, and I'll meet you there, but there's something I have to do first. Loose ends I need to tie up."

"But..."

"This isn't negotiable. You go on ahead, scope out their stronghold, and come up with a strategy. I'll only be a day. Two at the most."

"All right, but first you need to tie up some loose ends here." DiZ motioned to Naminé. "She needs to be disposed of and we can't just let Axel wander around back to Organization XIII. He will need to be destroyed."

-0-

"He's gone," said Axel, leaning over the railing.

"I suppose we're next," said Naminé.

"You don't have any place to go, do you?" said Axel. "And you don't have anywhere to go back to, right? Things like that don't exist for guys like us."

"Hmm..." said Naminé. "That's right. There is no place for me. Still...I have some places I want to go...I have some people I want to see."

"Yeah," said Axel, "same here." He glanced over to Riku and flashed a smirk. "So why don't you just let us go? That old guy told you to get rid of us, didn't he?"

"Go," said Riku.

"You don't think you should accomplish your goal right here?" said Axel.

"I owe you two," said Riku.

"You do?" said Naminé.

"Yes. For what happened at Castle Oblivion, and for everything."

"Okay, thanks then," said Axel. He opened a dark portal and looked at Naminé, waiting. She glanced at Axel, directed a long look at Riku, and then glanced at her drawing.

"I'm sorry," she said and stood. Riku swallowed, shut his eyes, opened them again, and turned to see Naminé first, and then Axel, walk into the darkness. The portal closed behind them.

"You never did anything wrong," said Riku.

-0-

Riku gasped and shot up, back rod-straight, sucking in heavy breaths. Sweat collected on his brow; his heart raced. Something wet collected in the corners of his eyes—could've been tears, could've been the perspiration. His heart pounded erratically against his ribcage. He blinked, squinted, willed his eyes to take in as much of the moonlight streaming through the window as physically possible. One blind hand grasped around for the cigarette pack on his nightstand only to find it missing. He tried to think for a moment, but all his thoughts blurred and ran together like water-stained ink.

The disorientation gave after a few short seconds, but in Riku's warped state it stretched for minutes. He sat up and raked his fingers through his hair. His cigarettes weren't on the nightstand because his nightstand was back on Destiny Islands. It wasn't all a nightmare; he was in Hollow Bastion. He had captured Roxas, taken him to DiZ, and helped integrate the Nobody back into his best friend, Sora. Riku was supposed to destroy Naminé, because she was just a Nobody, and Axel, because he was a Nobody, too, but mostly because he was a nuisance working for Organization XIII. He hadn't been able to do it, and then he came here. He stayed two nights, but he needed to meet up with DiZ. Riku was leaving in...He checked the clock on Cloud's nightstand. Three a.m. He was leaving for the World That Never Was in five hours to meet up with DiZ.

Riku sighed and took a long breath. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and padded out the door; the kitchen was deserted. Riku took a seat at the counter and lit one of Leon's cigarettes. He stared across the living room to one of the windows looking outside and over Hollow Bastion.

It must have been a sad state his subconscious was in to be having dreams like that. They weren't really nightmares, exactly—just reliving memories of things that had already happened. Riku's life recently, however, had been so hellish that they might as well have been nightmares. His stomach flopped—rose and fell—whenever he thought of Axel or Naminé. It wasn't that Riku ever needed to see them again. He knew he'd see Naminé again, anyway, because she was part of Kairi, but he wondered where they were. He hoped they were okay. He prayed they had the good sense to clear off into hiding, because if they hadn't Riku shouldn't have even bothered to spare them. They'd get caught in the crossfire eventually—the two rebel Nobodies behaving as they did. Axel was too loud, brash, obnoxious; Naminé too caring, insistent, and nosy. Riku's pardon would only delay the inevitable. No matter how he prayed, though, a part of him suspected he would see both again and soon. It was the same natures that would be their downfall that would prohibit either from even entertaining the thought of hiding.

Riku took another look at the clock, a deep breath, and mentally reviewed his agenda for the day. He was going to the World That Never Was. He was not going to think about Axel or Naminé. He was not going to think about Cloud having Geostigma. He was going to stay positive before the piece of Ansem/Random Guy's Heartless in his heart—already spread enough to make him look the way he did—took over again. Riku already refused to play a puppet to Ansem; he certainly wasn't going to let Random Guy's Heartless take him again. Riku rubbed his head. He needed to get back on topic. He probably needed more sleep; Riku had gone to bed early after a short call with Cloud, but his sleep was forever fitful these days.

Riku cast his eyes toward the hallway that led to Leon's bedroom. This was the point where Leon would wake up (either because he heard Riku rustling around, too perceptive even in sleep, or because he couldn't sleep either), and they'd sit together, smoke, have a good conversation, and Riku could go back to sleep relaxed. Leon didn't come. He stared at the hallway harder, mentally willing Leon to wake. Riku knew that he could have just gone into Leon's room to wake him or banged around the kitchen until he woke, but that would have been awfully kindergarten of him, right? He was supposed to be pulling himself together, growing up. The best way to undo all of that was to cry at Leon's sleeping side because he had nightmares. If he were back on Destiny Islands he might have woken Ayumi, but she was his sister, and it was okay to be childish around her because she'd always think of him as a child, anyway. Leon...Riku stared at the hallway. Leon didn't come.

He sighed, put out his cigarette, and walked back to the bedroom. His head pounded as the door slammed behind him.

-0-

"Breakfast is ready," said Leon. He switched on the lamp, assaulting Riku's half-closed eyes. "Time to get up."

Riku groaned, rolled onto his back, and blinked.

"Good morning to you, too," he mumbled.

"You better come eat before it's cold."

Leon disappeared through the bedroom door. That was so like Leon—failing to show when you wanted him and barging in when you didn't. Sometimes Leon was on target, but for the most part, he was a failure at good timing. Riku rubbed his eyes, struggled to his feet, and drudged into the kitchen.

"Rough night?" said Leon.

"Why do you ask?" said Riku. He sat before a plate of sausage and eggs; steam still rose from it.

"You left my cigarettes on the counter. I assumed you woke up at some point."

"Yeah. Nightmares."

Leon frowned. "Sora?" he said as he sat across from Riku at the bar. "Cloud? Ansem?"

"Eh," said Riku. "DiZ, Naminé, Axel, but it's all the same, isn't it? And why would I be having nightmares about Cloud?"

"Oh. I mean..."

"Ah," said Riku, nodding. He smiled at the tight grimace that pulled Leon's features. "Zack. Geostigma. Sephiroth. Yeah, I had one of those, too, but you woke me out of that one."

Leon frowned. "Well I'm glad to be of service..."

"It's okay," said Riku. "Really."

"So other than that..."

"Really. It's okay. So what do you have on the agenda today?"

Leon shrugged. "Depends on what's working."

"The story of the Hollow Bastion Restoration." Riku smirked. "It'd go so much easier if things would just work like they're supposed to."

"Yeah. Tell me about it. We found a new way to get down into Ansem..."

"The real Ansem."

"Yeah. The real Ansem's study, so we don't have as bad of a problem with the Heartless, but I can't find shit in there that tells us a damn thing. I feel like I'm missing something. It's like we just aren't looking closely enough, but fuck me if I can figure out what it is."

Riku smirked. "Is that a promise?"

"Is what...Oh, shut up. You're terrible."

"I'm sorry! You walked right into that one."

"I did, didn't I?"

"I considered not even taking advantage of it for half a second, but it was just hanging there...I couldn't help myself. So? Is it?"

"I don't think Cloud would like where this conversation is heading."

"Oh, Cloud's dying. Who cares what he likes?"

Leon's eyes softened. "Is this your twisted way of dealing with that?"

"Yes. Flirt with me."

"Flirting. Flirting. In case you can't tell, I'm flirting."

"No wonder you can't get a date."

Leon smirked and flicked a small bit of egg across the counter.

"Don't make me food-fight you," said Riku. "I'm practically a champion."

"Feel better?"

"Bantering with people always makes me feel better."

"Cloud isn't going to die."

"Are you trying to make me feel bad again?"

"No. I'm just letting you know in case you couldn't figure it out for yourself. He's too stubborn to die. He wouldn't be able to whine anymore."

Riku tried to smile but it felt forced and weak on his lips. His stomach flip-flopped again. "Yeah, right."

"You've gotta believe it or you're just encouraging him when he starts giving up. That's not going to do anyone any good. From my experience with Cloud over the years, it's best to get yourself convinced now if you're ever going to convince him later."

"Maybe you should convince him. That's your job, right?"

"I think it'd be better coming from you. Consider this training."

"Training, huh?"

"Training to kick Cloud's ass into shape. Yeah. After all, I've got to hand him off to you one day. Can't do it myself forever. I might get myself into a relationship of my own one of these days."

Riku sighed. "Fair enough. If it's for the sake of your sexual future, I'll heed your advice."

Leon cracked a smile. "My sexual future thanks you. And what's on your agenda for the day?"

"Oh, nothing much. Going to a world that isn't supposed to exist, meeting up with a guy with a bandaged head, and spying on Nobody. Sounds fun, doesn't it?"

"Loads."

"I'm dreading this enough to chew my own legs off."

"Don't do that. Cloud'll never forgive me if I sit here and let you do that."

"You sure that's it? You did invite me to fuck you, and unless you're into amputees..."

"I didn't invite you to fuck me!"

"Yes, you did! You said 'fuck me' and..."

"Listen, bottom boy, you can chew off your legs all you want. I'm going to get dressed."

"Is the banter getting to be too much for you?"

"Only in the way where if I stay here with you much longer, I'm going to be late."

"Because we'll be fucking?"

"Don't make me tell Cloud about this conversation."

Riku's smirk drained. "You wouldn't."

"Of course I wouldn't. Cloud would castrate me before he castrated you."

Riku nodded. "Yeah, you're right. He's a good boyfriend like that." Leon stood and took the empty plates over to the sink. Riku stole a cigarette from Leon's pack and lit one. "You know I'm just kidding right? I wouldn't ever do anything that would jeopardize my relationship with Cloud."

Leon paused. He turned back toward Riku, water in the sink still running, and pressed his lips together. He smiled. "I know you're kidding..."

Riku raised his eyebrows. His heart pounded in his chest. "But?"

Leon's smile grew a little. He shut off the sink, grabbed Riku's cigarette out of his hand, and took a drag before handing it back. "But I still think you're hot for me," he said, exhaling.

Riku glared. "You're an asshole."

"It's okay. I understand."

"Well it seems your ego is in no need of inflating."

"You say that like yours is."

Leon laughed and headed out of the kitchen. Riku stared into the ashtray and then turned.

"Hey, Leon?"

Leon stopped where he was by the hallway and turned back. "Yeah?"

"We're okay, right? That wasn't anything serious. We were just...Nothing changed, right?" Leon regarded Riku and sighed. He walked back into the kitchen, retook his seat at the bar, and grabbed a cigarette. Riku paled. "Oh, God..."

"What's wrong?" said Leon.

"I just...I didn't mean anything by asking. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page and..."

Leon took a long drag and exhaled. "Look, I flirt a lot, and it used to get me in trouble a lot."

"You?"

"I'm not asexual, Riku," said Leon, scowling.

"I didn't think you were. Kind of detached from humanity, however..."

"A lot of bad shit happened and I changed a lot. Adolescence was not the happiest time for me."

"Is it for anyone? Seriously? Because mine is sucking pretty badly, and from what I understand, Cloud's was shit, too."

"I don't know. I think it sucks for everyone but some of us have things a little more fucked up than normal."

"So what's this have to do with what just happened here with us?"

"I _like _to flirt. I'd flirt with just about everyone if they'd let me."

"Seriously. You?"

"Riku, really, I'm not asexual. I've been in relationships."

"I believe you. I just...You don't talk much. It's kind of hard to believe you're a flirt. That's all I'm saying."

"The _point _is it doesn't really mean anything to me. And from what I can tell from you, you're not exactly picky about who you flirt with, either. It's probably second nature to flirt with your friends."

Riku shrugged. "I used to flirt with Sora all the time. He never got it, but then again Sora isn't exactly quick on the uptake."

"Yeah, I've noticed. He's sweet, though."

Riku smiled. "Yeah. He is."

"Anyway, the point is that it's not weird for either of us to flirt and it shouldn't change anything, but it gets complicated when you hang someone like Cloud—who wouldn't know how to flirt with the script in front of him—between us. I think, however, that we've all overcome that, Cloud included, so I don't think we can blame this one on him this time. Sure, he might be upset if he heard about it, but I think we've bullied him enough that he can now calm himself down and remember that there's nothing going on between us. That means the real question is what's wrong with you."

Riku shrugged. "I don't know. I feel uneasy, and scared, and insecure. I'm mad about Zack. I'm scared he's going to die. I don't know what I'm going to do if he dies. I really don't. And ordinarily I probably wouldn't think twice about flirting with anyone, but knowing that he'd be upset...I feel fucked up. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe it's because I know how he feels about you and me, but...I think just miss him, you know? I miss being with him, and the affection, and now he might die and I'm going away, too, to chase after Organization XIII." Riku sighed and rubbed his thumb against the counter. He groaned. "Oh, shit. I just made you play relationship therapist again, didn't I?"

Leon's frown morphed into a smirk. "Hey, just be grateful I don't charge."

Riku released a weak laugh. "I am. I'm more grateful that you're still putting up with it."

"It's not easy. Listen, I know the long-distance thing is hard. I know it's even harder right now because you have the threat of death added to everything else you two already have thrown on you. It's going to be a fucking miracle if you make it through all of this together; the stress is enough to tear you apart. And even when everything is over, it's going to be hard aftermath. You're both so pig-headed it'll take ages for you to be okay with your past. The thing you have going for you, however, is that you both take every opportunity you have to make all the bad stuff bring you closer. That's a fucking rarity, which either means you both love each other way too much to give up, or you're both so fucking stubborn you don't care how masochistic it all really is."

Riku laughed. Leon smiled.

"Whatever the reason," Leon continued, "if you keep turning shit into sunshine, things are bound to clear up in the end. Right?"

Riku snorted. "Turning shit into sunshine?"

"Yeah. You lose your heart; Cloud fails to finish off Sephiroth...again. What do you two do? Spend months here canoodling, falling over yourselves, and waking up half the neighborhood. You run off without a good-bye, start looking like Ansem who isn't 'Real Ansem,' and Cloud starts talking picket fences. Zack's back from the dead, Cloud's dying, and you're here crying because you miss him trying to flirt somewhat poorly with you. You two are either demented in what gets you going or very well suited for each other."

"Maybe a bit of both."

"_Now _do you feel better?"

"Yes."

"Good. Just be patient, okay? Everything will work out."

"Patience was never one of my strongest suits."

"Then I guess you're going to learn fast. I'm really going to get dressed now and you're going to stop procrastinating. Mr. Bandage Head is waiting for you to spy on Nobody."

"I'll be back soon."

"Just not too soon because the longer your relationship goes on, the more fucked up your problems get."

"It's not my fault this time!"

"I know. It's Cloud's turn."

"It's not his fault, either!"

"Right."

"Leon!"

"We're cool. Go play hero."

Riku huffed and watched Leon disappear down the hallway.

-0-

The walk through the corridors of darkness from Hollow Bastion to the World That Never Was felt shorter the second time around, but Riku thought that this may have had something to do with the fact he knew where he was going this time. The first time he'd gone this way—when he picked up and left Hollow Bastion—Riku had just wandered until he ran into DiZ and then blindly found his way. This time Riku knew exactly where he was going. For whatever reasons, his senses seemed sharper than last time—more acute. Perhaps it was the blindfold training, but the scent of light and dark were sharper than ever. He swore he could smell the difference between Hollow Bastion and Twilight Town, both of which had darker scents than normal, but in distinctly different ways. Hollow Bastion was warmer than Twilight Town, which had an acrid, bitter scent that Riku hadn't before noticed.

It had to be near evening when Riku arrived in the World That Never Was. His nose, acute to the smells of this place thanks to his training for capturing Roxas, picked out DiZ's location within the first five minutes. Nothing much had changed since he was last here as he headed toward an alleyway near where he had stayed with Cloud but at a bit more distance away (DiZ, it seemed, proceeded with more caution than Riku when spying on Organization XIII). Riku was swarmed by Heartless; he swung Way to the Dawn, fended them off, and slipped into the small house. He discarded his Keyblade immediately to keep his heart from calling out to the Heartless. Riku turned around and jumped. DiZ regarded him from a corner in the room.

"It's about time you showed up," DiZ said. "I was starting to think you changed your mind."

"You scared me," said Riku. "I didn't see you there."

"Obviously. So was there a purpose to your delay or were you just wasting time?"

Riku was immediately reminded of everything he hated about DiZ. With everything that had happened in the few days since he'd last him, Riku had almost forgotten, but now he scowled.

"I told you there was something I had to do and I went to do it." The remark had more of a bite to it than he meant it to, but DiZ was as callous as ever, and Riku couldn't help but sneer.

"So you have nothing to report?"

"I saw Sora while I was away if that means anything."

DiZ looked mildly surprised. "You talked to him?"

"No, I saw him."

"Well, that's something. Where?"

"Hollow Bastion. He was there for less than an hour before he took off again. Oh, yeah...There were members of Organization XIII there, too. They called him Roxas, or said something about Roxas—I don't know, this is a second-hand account—there was something to do with Roxas, and Sora concluded they were just trying to mess with him."

DiZ sighed, brought a hand to his mouth, and stared at the floor. He glanced up.

"Well, at least that's some useful information, even if you came by it by coincidence." DiZ paused, mouth slightly agape, and looked in the direction of Organization XIII's stronghold. "They _are _trying to confuse him. Losing Roxas and the Keyblade has been a great loss for them, especially after the dent Sora put in their numbers at Castle Oblivion. Now that he's awake, he's going to be in their way. They'll do anything they can to get rid of him. That's why our job is so important."

"So what _is _our job? I know you said we'd be watching them and helping Sora out, but how are we going to do that?"

"Since I've been here, I've sensed the remaining Organization members coming and going through dark corridors. Our primary focus should be keeping tabs on those comings and goings. We need to find out where they're going and what they're doing."

"Okay."

"I think it's best if we split them up between us. We need to focus on all of the remaining six members, but the four we really need to concentrate on go by the names Xigbar, Xaldin, Luxord, and Demyx."

"Why those four?"

"They're the ones doing all the field work. All six left together just yesterday, but that must have been the visit to Sora you mentioned."

"What about Saix?"

DiZ calmly regarded Riku. "You sound concerned."

"I just...ran into Saix before I collected Roxas. He isn't..."

DiZ nodded. "Hm. Yes. He's going to be trouble, but both he and the Organization's Superior stay inside the castle most of the time. They have, at the least, hardly left this world unlike the others. I believe they are required here for whatever it is they're planning. We'll both need to keep eyes and ears on them while we're here. If either of them leaves on their own, however, you can trail Saix since you're so concerned about him. Leave Xemnas to me."

"Xemnas is the Organization's leader."

"Precisely."

"So what's the information on the other four? I know you've got to have some."

"As far as I can tell from the data I've collected in Castle Oblivion and since I've been here, Demyx is the least threatening. I'm leaving him to you. You'll love him."

"I don't like the sound of that," said Riku, sneering again. "What's the catch?"

DiZ gave him one of his annoying smirks. "He's very...carefree."

"He's going to annoy me, isn't he?"

"You'll like him."

"That's a yes."

"His attacks are water-based and he uses a sitar to control water and create water forms, although he seems to have a general distaste for fighting in general. I doubt if he should become aware of your presence that he'll fight you. His flight instinct dominates."

"He's going to annoy me. Fantastic."

"I'm leaving you with Demyx because I'm also assigning you to Xigbar."

"And what do I need to know about him?"

DiZ took a breath. "He's tough. Very casual and laid-back, but arrogant. Cocky."

"His attacks? His weapon?"

"Some sort of elaborate guns I haven't seen before. Two of them. His most common attack is a rapid fire of laser arrows, but he does have a more powerful, charged version. He's also fond of combining both guns into one for a sniper attack. He can manipulate gravity and space. He has the capability to teleport in a given area, and he knows how to take advantage of his battle field."

"So don't get into a fight with him. Got it."

"Yes, I'd prefer it if you didn't."

Riku sighed. "Okay."

"And there's one more assignment."

"I'm taking three?"

"Well, technically, you also have Saix and I, Xemnas. You have Xigbar and Demyx. I'm taking Xaldin and Luxord. So we're actually even at three a piece up to this point."

"And that's six. So who else is there?"

DiZ regarded him with a frown. "You should know better than anyone." Riku sighed and waited; DiZ gave him a pointed stare. "Axel."

Riku bit his lip, glare fading. "Oh."

"And since you like him so much, I think it's only fitting that he's your responsibility."

"Right."

DiZ nodded. "Now that that's settled..."

"Is Naminé...?"

"I haven't seen or felt either's presence. I wouldn't even know that you disregarded my orders, but the Organization has declared Axel traitor for his failure to secure Roxas. I leave it to you to find his location and be knowledgeable of his actions. If you insist on sparing his meager existence, you must be prepared to deal with the consequences. I don't even want to think about what he'll try if it would separate Roxas from Sora again, and that's something we can't afford to happen."

"And what happens if the Organization finds him first?"

DiZ shrugged as much as DiZ ever did and said calmly, "Eliminate him, most likely. It wouldn't be a bad thing; it would negate your failure to follow orders and we would have one less thing to concern ourselves with. Unfortunately, if he is eliminated before we discover his location, it will be harder to uncover and rectify whatever he's done when we weren't watching him."

Riku stared at the floor. So Axel and Naminé were in hiding, or at least in hiding from the Organization and DiZ, because the only thing DiZ had in common with the Organization was a mutual desire to see Axel and Naminé destroyed. At least Riku hoped that was the only thing DiZ and Organization had in common, or else he was in for more trouble than he'd bargained for.

How was he going to find Axel when he could be anywhere? It was something like looking for Sora after they were first separated, and that had never panned out. He only started running into Sora after he started officially working for Maleficent, and there was no coincidence there. Cloud never ran into Sephiroth by accident. If Riku were Axel, where would he go?

From what Riku understood, the relationship Axel had with Roxas was frighteningly similar to the relationship Riku had with Sora. Logic only followed that Axel would be looking to kidnap Sora, and try to forcibly separate Roxas from him again, much like Riku had pursued Roxas and shoved him back into Sora's soul. So either Axel would gallivant all over the worlds trying to track down Sora's location, or he'd look for a way to lure Sora to him. With no resources to find Sora that Riku knew of the latter was the more realistic option, but what would Axel use? Riku, himself, was no good, and as far as he knew, Kairi was safe on Destiny Islands...

Destiny Islands. And it'd be easy for Axel to find her, having Naminé by his side and she being Kairi's Nobody. So it was a good possibility that Axel might get the idea to capture Kairi and go to Destiny Islands eventually. Riku might have patted himself on the back for being so smart except for the little snag where Riku had no idea how to find Destiny Islands again, which meant he had to find Axel and Naminé first, before they got to Kairi. He had just gone in a circle. If Riku were Axel before he resorted to going after Kairi on Destiny Islands, where would he be? It would have helped if Riku had paid a little more attention to Axel and a little less time ragging on Hayner back in Twilight Town.

"I need to eat," said Riku. "It's been a long, draining day coming here."

DiZ motioned his head toward a doorway leading to the back of the house.

"The kitchen is back there. I made sure to stock up on provisions. I have the unfortunate feeling we might be here for some time."

"Okay."

Riku wandered into the kitchen and dug around the scratched, beaten cupboards. DiZ's provisions were mostly dry and canned foods. The only means for cooking anything was a stove Riku feared might give him tetanus if he got too close with an open wound. He resorted to a bag of soup crackers, and pulled his phone out as he munched on them. He knew he'd told Cloud it might be a day or two until they spoke again, but he really didn't want to wait. His head spun; he wanted to be back in the safe familiarity of Hollow Bastion with busted water lines and infected computer programs. He dialed Cloud's number and the phone rang four times before his voicemail answered. Riku tried two more times; Cloud never answered.

His forehead fell into the palm of his hand and his stomach lurched. Riku pushed away the bag containing his measly dinner and huffed. Rational thinking told him that Cloud was probably busy. With Sephiroth, that Kadaj guy, and Reno, Cloud had a lot to do in Gaea these days. The likelihood of it having anything to do with Zack or the Geostigma was slim. He could have even been sleeping. It was hard to tell what time it really was in the World That Never Was. Still, Riku wished he could have heard his voice. Unload a little of what he'd just learned and deduced. See if Cloud, forever skilled in hunting after Sephiroth, had any ideas on where to go. He probably shouldn't call Leon, having just left this morning. Leon wasn't his boyfriend, and Riku burdened him enough.

Riku needed to make more friends. This was ironic considering how many he'd had back on Destiny Islands—or at least people he called friends. He'd only had a few real friends—friends like Leon had become, and Sora was one of them. He couldn't call Sora, though, and not only because Riku highly doubted Sora even owned a cell phone.

"Do you feel that?" said DiZ.

Riku uncovered his eyes and stared up at DiZ who was standing in the doorway. When had he come in? Riku hadn't even heard him.

"Feel what?"

"The slight shift in atmospheric pressure. The air's scent has changed as well."

Riku shut his eyes and focused on his senses; he felt it. The pressure in the air was slightly heavier; the scent permeating through this world was a little darker. Riku opened his eyes again.

"Someone's just opened a corridor into the darkness," said Riku.

DiZ nodded. "Very good. Can you smell the presence with it—the one who opened it?"

Riku closed his eyes again. It was a Nobody, of course—one of the Organization members. They all has similar smells to them, being what they were (Naminé's scent was the weakest yet; Axel was the strongest), but Riku's nose had become increasingly more acute searching for Roxas. He nodded.

"Yeah. It's hard to get it exactly—it's faint—but I smell it."

"That's Xigbar. I'd commit his scent to memory if I were in your position, but first..."

"I should go after him," said Riku.

"Precisely. It's just as well. Xaldin is already on the move. I was about to tell you I was leaving to go after him when I smelled Xigbar open a second portal."

Riku frowned. "What should I do?"

"Follow him, but keep your distance. Don't get too close; you'll have to keep tabs on him by scent alone. If he becomes aware of your presence, flee immediately. For now we just need to know where he's going and a vague sense of what he's doing if you can manage it."

Riku nodded, closed up the bag of soup crackers, and left it on the table. He stood and held out a hand; DiZ mirrored the action.

"I'll meet you back here tomorrow afternoon at the latest," said DiZ.

"All right," said Riku as two dark portals opened. He stepped inside and the small kitchen faded away behind him.

**_Sorry if I've messed anything up with this chapter. I've reworked the timeline about five times now to get everything to agree with all the storylines going on in KH2._**

**_And now I have to rework Advent Children to my liking. Am still working on how to fix the Geostigma issue under the guise that Aerith never died (or went to Gaea. Damn KH for making her present all through KH2)._**

**_Hope everyone enjoyed. Have a lovelyful day._**

**_-jenna_**


	72. Forgiveness

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: [072.] Happy

**Word Count**: 2,975

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Cloud could never shake the feeling that terrible things were destined to happen in this place. Simply, he was outnumbered.

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing related to the Kingdom Hearts (or Final Fantasy) franchise. I'm sure it shows.

**Author's Note**: The honest to God truth is that I started this chapter right after I finished the last one, ran into a minor problem with the storyline, fixed it almost immediately, and just never returned until now because I was either busy with other commitments or I just didn't think to do it. Silly me. So it's been two years that I've been writing this story and it will be finished this year. Why? Because when I made my New Years' Resolutions, my roommate put down on my list that I finish this story by December 31st or she is deleting all the files on my computer and never allowing me to write in it again whether I have two chapters to go or not. Heh.

* * *

**_Step Seventy-Two: Forgiveness_**

Cloud's eyes tried to rove around the room, but his stubborn persistence to not look at Tifa or Zack won out. His gaze remained fixated on his clasped hands lying in his lap. He didn't know what they were staring at him for. What did they expect? That now that he was left with no option but to go off after Kadaj and the kids by himself he was just going to throw his hands up and say, "Guess the kids are screwed"? He had to go after them now; Cloud just wished someone would have considered his shortcomings before they made the decision.

Reno and Rude could have done this job just as well—probably better—than Cloud was about to do it. Neither one of them was weak from Geostigma, weak from a pained heart, and pathetic at accomplishing anything they set out to do. Maybe Tifa thought she was doing a good thing for Cloud by forcing him onto this mission, but she probably should have considered what was best for the kids instead. Reno and Rude would get there in time and save them from whatever Kadaj planned on subjecting them to. Cloud...Even if Cloud got there in time, there was a good chance he'd fail anyway. Then it was going to all be his fault and he'd feel worse than if he'd never gone at all. What was Tifa going to say then?

"Well?" Tifa repeated, a little louder the second time. "Are you going to just sit there or are you going to go?"

Cloud sighed and looked up at the door Reno and Rude just vacated. "I don't really have much of a choice, do I?"

"I'll stay here with Tifa," said Zack. "Just in case one of them shows up again or one of the kids comes back."

"We'll send Vincent after you if he gets back from meeting with Reeve soon," said Tifa.

"That isn't necessary," said Cloud, standing. He readjusted his sleeve and grabbed First Tsurugi from where someone had it propped by the door. "The kids are counting on me, right? Everyone is."

"I didn't say you couldn't use help!" said Tifa. "You just can't run from these things anymore, Cloud. That's how Sephiroth keeps coming back so many times. I know you have light in you, but you refuse to let it out. Stop living in the past already."

Cloud paused; he turned to glare at her. "What does living in the past have to do with anything?"

"You blame yourself for every bad thing that goes wrong! You beat yourself up over and over again. You never finish anything because you're still too fixated on everything that's gone wrong before. It's why you don't finish Sephiroth—because you don't think you can. I know you're afraid to go after the kids because you've been too late before or because you couldn't stop bad things from happening even when you were there, but sometimes there is nothing you can do. That doesn't mean you can't try! It doesn't have to be like that!"

"Give him a break, Tifa," said Zack. His eyes stared at the Geostigma-marred bandage still clutched in his hand. "He's got things to do and the last thing he needs..."

"The last thing he needs is someone else babying him!" Tifa leaned forward, and though still seated, she may as well have been advancing on Zack with the way she glared at him. "The last thing he needs is someone else telling him its okay to keep running away when something gets a little too hard to handle! Stop coddling him!"

Zack looked up from his hands and stared back at Tifa, his face lax, eyes fierce. Cloud closed his eyes for a moment.

"Stop coddling him?" said Zack. "If I'm coddling him, then you're pushing him."

"You're damn right I am!"

"A little too fucking hard. Maybe he doesn't need anyone else to tell him its okay to keep running away, but he doesn't need anyone screaming at him, either. He doesn't need anyone putting the pressure on any thicker than it already is."

Cloud tightened his grasp around First Tsurugi, slipped out the bedroom door, and closed it behind him quietly as Tifa snapped at Zack. He made his way down the stairs and into the garage. Their shouts only faded from his hearing when Fenrir revved up; Cloud rode out into the streets of Edge.

If there was one thing Cloud really hated, it was people telling him (or anyone else) what he needed. He especially hated people telling each other what he needed when he was standing right in front of them without acknowledging his presence. It would be nice if once and a while someone consulted Cloud on what he thought he needed, but maybe he was too close to the situation for anyone to listen. For example, instead of an argument about whether he was being coddled or pushed too hard, Cloud would have preferred a short wish of luck and have that be it. No expectations, no blows to the ego, no Zack pushing him into the damsel role—just a short "good luck" would have sufficed.

Tifa might yell at him when he saw her again for just cutting out like that without saying anything. Maybe he was 'running away' from the conversation, but while they were fighting, Cloud's odds of failure in rescuing the kids from Kadaj were increasing. Their sweet, dulcet tones raging about him weren't exactly the amped, pre-rescue mission reminders he needed. Zack was in SOLDIER; he should have known better than this. Someone had clearly forgotten to mention to them that pre-battle motivational speeches were supposed to be motivational. It was possible that they did know, but if they did, they both had odd ways of encouraging victory. Sephiroth, on the other hand, had always given very nice speeches.

Then again, Sephiroth had always been elaborately wordy, even during battle. Kadaj, being a remnant, a cocoon, or whatever he was to Sephiroth, had the same annoying habit. It would work in Cloud's favor, he hoped. The kids (all of the kids) had been gone for a while now, but there was a good chance Cloud could make up some lost time while Kadaj was going off on some long, lengthy speech about the finer, more sentimental points of Jenova's head. Whether it would be enough time, though...

The Forgotten City was located to the far northwest of Edge on the northern-most continent of Gaea. Back when he first fought Sephiroth, it was impossible to reach save by the Highwind or special-bred chocobos (a means of transportation Cloud had never been particularly fond of for the most obvious of reasons). Since then the eastern continent Edge was located on had been connected to the northern continent by a series of bridges spanning over three small islands just south of Bone Village. At this time of night with traffic slow Cloud made it to the northern island in excellent time, thankful not to have to make any stops for a chocobo rental on the way. He reached The City of the Ancients in just over three hours thanks to both Cloud's disregard for all speed limit recommendations and Fenrir's ability to comfortably go 160 miles per hour.

Cloud had tried not to let his mind wander as he sped from Edge, but now in the wood leading to The Forgotten City, his fears overwhelmed him again. This was a place that had haunted his nightmares only a few years ago. When he first laid eyes on this place, something about it—like the church in Sector Six—just reminded him of Aerith. Whether it was intuition or he had just gone crazy didn't matter because Cloud could never manage to feel comfortable here. He was thankful the entire time that she too had not taken off with Yuffie and Tifa to come after him in Gaea because he was certain that despite the strange, ethereal light that came from these woods and the city itself in an almost spiritual way, terrible things were destined to happen in this place. He could never quite shake the feeling—always making him uneasy whenever he was in this vicinity. Now that he was here again, chasing down Kadaj and the other remnants, trying to save the kids when he wasn't even sure he could, all those doubts came crashing down on him like a furious, insisting weight that would shake it's hold.

There were so many places he had gone wrong; he was so close to the breaking point. Despite all the good, Cloud just wasn't sure if he could dispel all the bad anymore. Tears didn't help. None of his actions ever turned out just as he had planned, but going back wasn't an option anymore. Tifa had seen to that. And even if she hadn't, he wanted to do it. He wanted to rid all the worlds of Sephiroth's existence, and that started with Kadaj. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to be forgiven more than anything, not that he knew exactly who he wanted to be forgiven by. Leon for always causing trouble, for leaving Hollow Bastion in the first place. Aerith for always taking off, shutting her out. Tifa for always running out on her, building her up only to disappoint her, for always pissing her off. Zack for causing so much heartache. Even Yuffie and Cid for always being such a whiny, negative little shit. And Riku. Riku for dragging him through hell and back, pretending to be strong when Cloud just wasn't and inevitably breaking down when it mattered most. But probably, most importantly...Just maybe, more than anything, Cloud wanted to forgive himself.

It was with some faith, weak as it was, that Cloud rode on. He pushed away as many fears as he could and forced his shaky resolve on the task at hand. His timing was impeccable. The gunfire came first and it was soon after that Yazoo and Loz moved into view, effectively blocking Cloud's path forward. His stomach dropped at the sight of them, adrenaline flooding into his system with full force. He only took a fraction of a second to wonder when they had gotten their hands on the materia now infused into their weaponry when Kadaj, smirking his maniacal grin, came into view behind them. Cloud managed to avoid both Loz and Yazoo's attacks, drew First Tsurugi, and took the offensive position. His head was clear now, in the game and focused, but then he noticed Kadaj come forward and the presence of all the missing children come into view, encircling him, and among them Marlene in Denzel's grip, his face trance-like and emotionless. They were both standing in the middle of the road. It only took a second and Cloud lost his balance, Fenrir skidding away from under him. He hit the ground, First Tsurugi landing nearby.

"I'm glad you could make it," said Kadaj, smirking.

Cloud grunted, pushed himself up the best he could, and glared. "I only came for the kids."

Kadaj turned away to face the kids, a wild expression on his face. "See this man?" Kadaj said with sweeping gesticulations. Feeling one of his speeches coming on, Cloud inched toward a part of First Tsurugi strew on the ground only a short distance away. "He's our big brother. But alas…In our happy flock…" Kadaj took the moment to point his sword at Cloud. Cloud glared and pretended not to be inching toward his own blade. "...He's what you'd call a black sheep."

"Cloud!" Marlene called.

Cloud welcomed the distraction. As Kadaj looked in her direction, Cloud took the opportunity to roll out of the way, seize his own sword, and get to his feet. It all seemed to happen so fast once he attacked Kadaj; the entire place turned into a chaotic battleground. Repel bullets, dodge bullets, dodge people, punch, kick, swing sword, repeat. Mind back in the game, he shifted attention between fighting off Loz and Yazoo and searching for Kadaj. It was between volleys of bullets and fighting on tree branches, constantly having to jump out of the way of certain death to fight the other remnant that Cloud's resolve to win turned into a pure drive to survive. This was also, of course, around the time Kadaj came back into view.

He relied on every instinct he knew, every resource he had from fighting Sephiroth so many times but he was too weak and simply outnumbered. His head was spinning. The pain throbbing in his arm was too great to bear. His arm was on fire, his vision spotty. He tried to charge Kadaj but after a beating went flying through the air and landed hard on the ground. There was another round of gunfire and then everything went dark.

-0-

"Tifa sent you?" said Cloud, staring up at what was probably one of the most disturbing images he'd ever woken up to in his life.

"Not even a thank you," Vincent replied and stepped back.

Cloud looked away, sighed, and pushed his body into a seated position. He winced as the pain shot through his left arm again. He kneaded it gently. "I passed out again."

"Seems that way."

"What happened to Kadaj?"

"He's gone now, probably on his way to Edge."

"And the kids?"

"Gone with him."

Cloud scoffed. "See, I knew I'd be no help." Vincent didn't respond. Cloud looked down. "Vincent. It's all really happening, isn't it? Kadaj is a remnant of Sephiroth. And the Geostigma..."

Vincent walked over and kneeled by Cloud, taking his left arm. Cloud winced.

"The stigma…it's a symptom of alien matter infesting the body. The body tries to eliminate it and overcompensates. Inside our bodies is a current like the Lifestream. That current is what fights off malevolent intruders."

"You mean the Jenova cells."

"The Sephiroth gene. Jenova's memetic legacy. Call it what you want. Tseng and Elena were brought back from the Northern Cave half-dead. They told us what they could before they passed. I did all I could to save them, but..."

"So is Kadaj really...I mean...He _feels_ like Sephiroth."

"If they wanted to, they could recreate Sephiroth," said Vincent, calmly. "But you already know that."

"So he is just another vessel...Just another way..."

Cloud couldn't even bear to finish the sentence. He hung his head. This was entirely his fault. The kids. Kadaj. None of this needed to happen. Vincent stood, watching him, not breathing a word and then a rustle came from a thicket behind them. Cloud leapt to his feet, readying First Tsurugi, and Marlene came running from the brush.

"Marlene!" said Cloud.

"Cloud!" Marlene shouted, barreling into his body and clinging to him. "Denzel…and Tifa…!"

Cloud took a breath. "Tifa is all right."

"I wanna talk to her!"

Cloud reached for his phone, and tried the other pocket, but it was gone. Marlene's face fell and she turned to Vincent.

"May I?" Vincent whipped back his cape and stared at her. She gasped. "You don't have a phone? Vincent!" Cloud could sometimes hardly believe Vincent lived with these children at all as Marlene pouted at him.

"Vincent, will you bring Marlene back to Tifa?" said Cloud. "I'm gonna go see Shinra and get a few answers."

"I can't do that," said Vincent.

"But I—"

"Forget it, Cloud!" Marlene burst out in tears. "Why don't you ever pay any attention to us!"

She ran to Vincent and he wrapped her in his cape so only her feet were showing. It was hard to tell with Vincent sometimes, but Cloud was almost certain the emotionless facial expression he had been wearing had just hardened into something of a protective 'make my little girl cry again and I'll shoot you' glare. Cloud took a breath.

"Marlene," Cloud said, "Please give me some time. There's a battle to be fought, but it's not as simple as just fighting it. Understand?"

"No I don't!" Marlene cried from under the cape. Vincent's glare of death definitely hardened.

"Cloud…you sure this is about fighting?" Vincent said.

Cloud looked at Vincent and then at Marlene's feet. What was he supposed to do? He wasn't the girl's father. Why was it his fault that Marlene attached herself to him back when Barrett was still raising her, before the plate crashed on Sector Seven and he gave her that flower from the Sector Six church just so she'd stop running away from him. He never asked for this. He was never around enough to even encourage this. He wasn't running no matter what Tifa thought or what she had put into Vincent's head. But still...she had relied on him. She had relied on him when he was living with Tifa before he left Gaea. She relied on him now and once again he was letting someone down. Cloud looked up.

"Are sins ever forgiven?" he said.

Vincent's face didn't react. "I've never tried."

"You mean...Never tried..." Cloud sighed and then looked up. "Marlene, let's go." He expected a little resistance, but all she did was poke her head out of Vincent's cape and nodded. She tugged on him and then ran forward. "Well, I'm gonna try." He mimed putting a phone to his ear and said, "I'll phone in the verdict."

-0-

He tried to practice safe driving on the way back to Edge with Marlene as a passenger and as a result the trip home took twice the time than the trip up here. Things were already in chaos as he approached the city and something that looked like Bahamut flew through the open sky.

"How about I take you straight home so you'll be safe?" said Cloud.

Marlene hugged his waist and nodded.


	73. Seriously

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: [073.] Sad

**Word Count**: 5,742

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku deserved a trophy or something for everything DiZ put him through. Seriously.

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing related to the Kingdom Hearts (or Final Fantasy) franchise. I'm sure it shows.

* * *

**_Step Seventy-Three: Seriously_**

This is how things were going to be now, Riku supposed. Saving a world from the Heartless and Nobodies would be just another day for Sora again and Riku would stalk members of the Organization in an effort to figure out just what they were up to. It was becoming a talent—stealth—and stalking Organization XIII members to assist Sora beat stalking princesses to assist Maleficent and Ansem who wasn't Ansem. Still, following Xigbar through these long, isolated corridors of darkness was no joyful task. Once again he'd just have to put faith in DiZ even if he still didn't understand entirely just what he was supposed to accomplish by trailing these insane psychopaths. Was he just supposed to stand back and watch while they destroyed the worlds or intervene and then hide if Sora came around? As usual, DiZ's plan was nothing but a shoddy skeleton of a blueprint and it was up to Riku's discretion to fill in the holes however he liked. Unfortunately, hell hath no fury like a DiZ whose holes have been improperly filled which left Riku feeling both lost and stressed. The only good thing to come out of this task was that it took his minds off other things like Kadaj, Zack Fair, and Geostigma. Until just this second, anyway.

The entire event was a waste of time, too. He spent the night making the long trek from the World that Never Was to a world he learned was called The Land of Dragons. While he appreciated that traveling through corridors was faster than flying on a gummi ship, it still took a long time going across what Riku assumed was a long expanse of worlds. Xigbar, too, seemed paranoid, making detours all over the place as if he knew someone was following him, and that made the journey even longer. Keeping track of someone by mere scent was no simple task, either, especially when the scent of a Nobody wasn't that different from the sickening fragrance of darkness itself. By the time he was able to emerge into clean air he was tired, nauseas, and highly irritable that the real mission had only commenced just now. It had to be twelve hours since he left DiZ's and over twenty-four since he'd last eaten and slept. He deserved a fucking trophy or something for the shit DiZ put him through. Seriously.

Careful to keep a safe distance from Xigbar and prepared to jump back into a dark portal should he become aware of Riku's presence, he followed Xigbar through sprawling country sides and through small villages for much of the day. The only thing he managed to learn was that Sora had already come and gone (had to be Sora from the description Riku overheard one soldier give) and that Xigbar wasn't satisfied with the calmed state of things Sora had left The Land of Dragons in. All Xigbar did to raise any concern was summon some Nobodies and leave a dark portal open to lure in the Heartless. Then he simply left, headed back to the World That Never Was. Riku didn't know whether to be relieved or pissed.

He'd be back; Riku was sure of that. He'd have to whenever Xigbar figured out just what he wanted to do to stir things up back there. It wasn't a fond thought with the day mostly wasted and Riku exhausted. What was the Organization up to? Xigbar came late as if avoiding Sora's presence on purpose, and then he did nothing but leave another mess for Sora to clean up. He didn't place himself in Sora's path as if to stop the elimination of Heartless or Nobodies. Then there was that other nagging thing in the back of his mind that he just couldn't piece together: What did the Organization _really_ want with Sora? Had they wanted him awake or not? When he first met Saïx, he did nothing to stop Riku from taking Roxas, but then Axel showed up just as Sora was about to wake. He claimed he was sent to retrieve Roxas and called a traitor for failing. They had taunted Sora with Roxas's name in Hollow Bastion, but now Xigbar was purposefully avoiding him. Did they want Sora or Roxas? Or didn't it matter who they had for their plans as long as there was a Keyblade wielder running around? But if that was the case, what was the plan, because they sure weren't trying to stop Sora from doing his Keyblade master thing, either. In fact, from what Leon reiterated, Organization XIII only spoke to Sora after he wiped out all the Nobodies they summoned in the bailey.

This was frustrating—having endless questions and not a single answer to any one of them. He thought maybe by following Xigbar he'd have a better idea of what his job was, but now he still had no idea what DiZ was trying to accomplish or what Organization XIII was trying to do. Riku wondered how his life had come to this point of uncertainty and allowed Xigbar to gain more of a lead ahead of him as he slowed his pace back to the World That Never Was. He was tired for fuck's sake and he could find the damn world on his own. If DiZ knew what was good for him, he would have picked up some food on his travels because Riku hadn't used any of the common sense he had to grab something to eat in the Land of Dragons before the walk back. He made a mental note to make a pit stop for food on all future Organization stalkings. Being hungry made him a miserable son of a bitch and being tired on top of it just made it worse. If he was going to be irritated over his lack of job description anyway, he really needed to take all necessary precautions to avoid additional annoyances. At least it was something normal to be annoyed about no matter how normal being annoyed by Heartless, Nobodies, and the Organization was becoming.

In a great deal of misery and with a tired, zombie-like tread, Riku reemerged in the shabby kitchen of the house DiZ decided to make their base over twenty-four hours after he left. There was a sandwich and a banana sitting on the table as if waiting for him. Riku wasted no time in snatching it up and gobbling the pitiful meal down. It was as he tossed the banana peel in the trash that he heard faint voices drifting in from the front room. DiZ had company and if the familiar, high-pitched squeak was any indication, the company was Kind Mickey. Feeling a little more awake at this development, he made his way to the source.

"Welcome back," said DiZ as Riku stepped into the doorway. "You've been gone for longer than expected. Xigbar arrived almost an hour ago."

"I took the scenic corridor," said Riku. He glared.

"Well now that you're back, you have a visitor," said DiZ, motioning to Mickey.

"Hi ya!" said Mickey, waving. Lying on the floor beside him, Pluto looked up and gave a happy bark. "We didn't get a chance to talk in Twilight Town so I stopped here as soon as I got the chance."

Riku's glare softened. He dropped to sit on the floor, looked at him with weary eyes, and offered Mickey a weak smile. He gave Pluto a pat on the head. "It's good to see you."

"Golly, Riku, are you all right?"

"Just tired," he answered, and then it hit him that the king had just used his name. In front of DiZ. And Riku had just responded. He popped up in alarm. "I mean..."

"It's no use," said DiZ. "I already knew."

"We were just talkin' about your mission before you got back," said Mickey.

"How long?" Riku asked. "I mean..."

"I've known since you first arrived in Twilight Town with Roxas," said DiZ.

"And I've been here for about an hour and a half," said Mickey.

"We've been trading information," DiZ finished.

"Oh," said Riku.

"I wanted to let you know what's going on out there, too," said Mickey. "So, pal, how did your mission go?"

"It was a freakin' waste of time," Riku said. "Sora's already left The Land of Dragons. Xigbar didn't do anything but ask around about what happened, summoned some Nobodies, left a portal to lure the Heartless, and left."

"I just can't figure out what they're trying to do beyond collecting hearts," said DiZ.

"Collecting hearts?" said Riku.

"Well that's obvious, isn't it? They took Roxas in to take out the Heartless with the Keyblade and collect the hearts. And now that Sora's back they're allowing him to go on his way to do the same thing. They're trying to fill Kingdom Hearts with as many as possible. I just don't know what they plan on doing with them."

Riku stared at the floor. So _that's_ what the Organization was doing. It would have been nice of DiZ to mention this sooner. Maybe he had and Riku had just not listened. Whatever had happened, it still opened up a whole new list of questions that needed answering. He stared at Mickey. "Any more good news?"

"Actually..." said Mickey. He frowned. "Golly, Riku, I don't know how to tell you this..."

Riku's heart sank. He closed his eyes, took a breath, and then looked at Mickey again. "I can take it. Just give it to me straight."

"One of my old acquaintances from Disney Castle, Pete, has been seen wandering around and summoning the Heartless. Last I heard he was looking for Maleficent."

Riku snorted. "Tough shit there, buddy."

"Actually..." said Mickey.

"Actually what?"

"She's back, actually."

Riku sighed and slumped. "Of course she is. Dead people are just popping up all over the place like a goddamn bed of roses."

"I heard about Zack..."

Riku waved his hand. "Whatever. So what? This Pete guy is working with Maleficent or something in an attempt to take over Kingdom Hearts? I say we let them fight over it and then take out the victor. Make our job easier."

"Organization XIII is still our prime objective," DiZ said. "Nothing there has changed."

"Maleficent and Pete don't seem to be a real threat as of the moment," said Mickey. "And I'm sure Sora will take care of their interference. Pete is determined to use the Heartless for his own gain, but he's nothing Sora can't handle. Maleficent has shown little interest in using the Heartless to take over any worlds. Instead, she's using them in her search for a new castle to take over."

Riku frowned. "Wait...What? She's shopping for real estate?"

"Something like that," said DiZ.

"I don't think we need to worry about them just yet. So keep your focus on Organization XIII and let me and Sora take care of Maleficent and Pete," said Mickey.

"Have you seen Sora again?" said Riku.

"Not since we met in Twilight Town. I sent him on the train to Yen Sid and then went to see how it went later. That's when I found out about Maleficent and Pete. Sora met Pete outside the castle and then Maleficent arrived shortly after he left. She was considering Yen Sid's tower for her new base, but he stopped her so she left to find another castle."

Riku's face twisted. "You're kidding. She's really shopping for _real estate_?"

Mickey, looking just as unsure of what had happened here, nodded. "Yes."

"I mean...I don't know. I guess she has to have some place to conduct her villain meetings..."

Mickey nodded again. "I'm not worried about it as long as she's on the move. If she's looking for a place to conduct business then she's not actually doing anything."

"Right. It's if she finds a place to stay and starts working toward her crazy ambitions again that we need to worry."

"That's right," said DiZ. "So in the meantime all you need to focus on is your Organization members. You said Xigbar did nothing in The Land of Dragons save for a few Nobodies and Heartless?"

"Yeah. It was like he wasn't even really concerned with making a big mess yet."

"They may have something else planned first. There are plenty of worlds out there to take advantage of and if their real goal is to collect hearts for some purpose, it doesn't matter which world Sora is on."

"But then why did they intercept him in Hollow Bastion?"

"Well surely it's easier for them if they have Roxas and they're in control of the situation. That doesn't mean Sora doing the work for them has a negative effect; it's simply less convenient."

"What happened with Xaldin when you followed him? What was he up to?"

"He's been loitering around the Beast's castle lately..."

"The Beast?" said Riku. "That thing from Hollow Bastion that was all in love with that Princess of Heart?"

"You mean Belle, I presume."

"Yeah, her. Xaldin went there?"

DiZ nodded and made an affirmative sound in the back of his throat. "Yes. It seems he's been controlling the Beast and warping his heart into something dark, most likely in an attempt to turn him into a Heartless."

"That means one more heart for Kingdom Hearts and one more Nobody for the Organization," said Mickey.

"Right," said Riku. "Well best of luck to him with that. That Beast followed Belle all the way to Hollow Bastion without a ship or dark powers."

"On the contrary," said DiZ. "He was doing quite the fine job. The Beast had locked up his faithful servants in a dungeon and was turning on Belle until your friend, Sora, arrived and brought him back to his senses. Xaldin was revealed to Sora, but instead of fighting him himself, he offered a more powerful Heartless to contend with."

"Which Sora, of course, defeated."

"Naturally. Sora was quite pleased with himself. Xaldin attempted to bring down the spirits by announcing that it wasn't over..."

"He actually said that?"

"Not in those exact words but it was what he meant. Anyway, Sora did just fine and then took off for whatever world he needs to save next."

Riku nodded. "Yeah. That sounds about right. So how are things going with you, Mickey?"

"I'm still trying to track down as much information as I can. I thought I'd check back in Hollow Bastion again to do some more research when I left here. Speaking of which, pal, I was thinking of leaving Pluto here with ya. Thought you could use a friend and he can be a great help with following those Organization fellas."

Riku was taken aback. Mickey was trusting him enough to leave his dog with him? Riku knew people were weird about their pets and even the king was no exception. He hesitated, but then Pluto looked up at him, barked happily, and gave Riku's hand a long, slobbery lick. He nodded. "Yeah, all right. I think we can make a pretty good team, yeah?" Pluto barked again.

"That's settled then. And I ought to be goin'. There's lots of work to do and you look tired."

"I am," Riku said, nodding.

"Get some rest, then," said DiZ. "I've set up a cot in one of the upstairs bedrooms for you. I'll wake you if I sense any Organization activity."

"Don't you even sleep?"

"Not well."

Riku stared for a moment, face softening. He nodded. "Okay. I'm going to bed. I'll see you when I see you, Mickey."

"Good night," said Mickey.

They both stood and Riku waved a short goodbye before heading for the staircase. Pluto barked and bounded after him as he headed up. The bedroom was small but Riku quickly shrugged off his cloak anyway and dropped it to the ground. Pluto circled it once before pushing it around with his paws and made a spot to sleep. Riku sat on the bed and pulled his phone from his pocket. There were no calls on the display. He sighed, pulled up Cloud's number, and held it to his ear. It went straight to voicemail.

"Where are you, Cloud?" Riku asked the air. Pluto raised his head and nuzzled Riku's empty hand. "I know. He's okay. I'm just...overreacting. Probably."

He pocketed the phone again and stared out the window behind him. Somewhere out there he prayed Cloud was all right.

-0-

DiZ woke him at an hour Leon would have found appropriate. Ordinarily, Riku might have, too, but he felt like the morning beast version of Cloud when DiZ shook him awake and shoved a bag of crackers and a water bottle in his hands before telling him to take off because Demyx was on the move. His hatred of both DiZ and Organization XIII grew as he crawled out of bed, sneering and growling, and attempted to grab his cloak. Pluto, still sleeping, seemed unwilling to move. Riku sighed. It was bad when the dog didn't even want to wake.

"Please give me my cloak, Pluto," Riku whined.

"That is truly pathetic," said DiZ. He grabbed the edge of the cloak, yanked it free, and passed it off to Riku. Pluto, jerked awake by the rude way DiZ had ripped his bed out from under him, shook his head and looked around.

"Hey, boy," said Riku, "want to go hunting for Demyx?" Pluto barked. "I'll take that as a yes." He shrugged on the cloak, dropped the water bottle in his pocket, and offered Pluto a cracker. "Breakfast?"

"Would you just get going?" DiZ said.

Riku rolled his eyes, sneered again, and opened a dark portal. He made a short whistle and motioned for Pluto to follow. Over his shoulder, Riku offered a pitiful wave to DiZ before the portal closed behind them.

Riku passed the time on the trip talking to Pluto and receiving small barks and happy pants in reply. It also went faster than the walk to The Land of Dragons even though he was sure they'd covered more distance and Demyx moved like a snail. That could only mean Demyx was taking the fastest path there, unlike Xigbar, who took more detours than was normal. Everything he'd heard from DiZ must have been true.

Demyx arrived first thanks to his head start before Riku was even awake, but the elapsed time until Riku arrived was shorter than expected thanks to Pluto's nose and Demyx's pace. His plan upon reaching their destination was to find Demyx and keep close just as he had with Xigbar—in dark corridors, opening just a sliver of a portal so he could hear and see what was going on without being noticed. Thankfully with Demyx, unlike Xigbar, Riku could probably do a bigger sliver than anyone should normally get away with because from what Riku understood, Demyx was kind of an idiot.

When Riku could sense Demyx's presence on the world outside the dark corridors, he opened a portal and stepped through. Riku recognized the scenery almost immediately and his heart pulled with pure sadness. Olympus Coliseum. The place Cloud had stayed so frequently early in their relationship and the place where they'd first...well...you know. His mind wandered back to the previous night—how he hadn't been able to get in touch with Cloud last night or the night before—but it was only three nights now that they hadn't spoken, right? Nothing too monumental could have happened and Cloud was busy. He needed to focus on the task at hand—finding Demyx. He followed Pluto through the familiar roads in Thebes, past the entrance to the Coliseum, and into a door Riku was sure had previously housed a Gummi garage behind it. Now it was dark and dank with an acrid odor similar to the darkness but distinctly different. He descended the staircase there with Pluto at his side, looked around, and then he heard the most familiar voice he could have heard in a place where he should have been expecting it. He whistled and opened the portal again, slipping inside with Pluto on his heels before Sora had the chance to see him.

Riku never claimed to be the best employee DiZ could have asked for. Plan B. Follow Sora. He opened a bigger sliver back into the world of light than he would have even dared with Demyx just as Sora, Donald, and Goofy walked into the dank cave. To his great fortune Plan A merged with Plan B and a cloaked figure that must have been Demyx ran by and disappeared through a door.

"The Organization!" the bastard duck cried.

"Yeah," said Sora.

Riku hung his head. He would never understand how Sora took Donald or Goofy seriously. With Pluto beside him, Riku followed Sora through the door Demyx had disappeared through farther into the cave. He held back, watched in awe as Sora fought his way through the Heartless with ease, and continued through the cave's passageways. Sora got better every time Riku saw him, as if thirty or forty Heartless were of no concern for him. He was still in a slight sense of awe and full of pride when they arrived in an inner chamber and Demyx came running through again, this time screaming at the top of his head.

"Run! Run away!" he cried as he ran past and back the way he came, disappearing through a dark portal.

"You have got to be kidding me," Riku muttered.

"Okay?" said Sora.

Riku snorted and then he glanced toward where Demyx had come from. This was starting to make sense. The only person Riku knew of in Olympus Coliseum that could make someone run screaming like that was Hades so this foul, disgusting place had to be part of Hades' Underworld. He frowned, thoughts drifting to Cloud and how not so long ago he was working for Hades, probably spending much of his time in this place just hoping against all odds to find Sephiroth and finish things. Plan B abandoned, Riku went after Demyx. At the very least he needed to figure out what he was trying to accomplish by meeting with Hades.

It took some time to find him again. The speedy little fucker moved around Olympus Coliseum like a child with ADD. When he did manage to find him he was sitting patiently in a different area of the Underworld looking at a gold-colored stone embossed with a lighting bolt. That was it. Seriously. Sitting. Staring at the thing like it was going to do something magical because it had a pretty picture on it or something. Riku sighed. Here he had gone on despite all the negative energy coming from Hades' chamber and ignored the snarling of what could only be the three-headed monster Cloud had told him about ages ago just to find this Organization fucker. But now Demyx was just sitting there. Looking at the pretty stone like he was waiting for something. Riku sighed and turned, taking the long trek back to Hades' chamber. He passed Sora on the way, but naturally being in the dark corridors, he went undetected.

It sometimes felt like being a ghost, having the ability to slip through walls and barriers and across worlds undetected, overhearing things without being noticed, or walking right past your very best friend without him being any the wiser that anyone was even there. This feeling of insignificance slipped to the back of his mind, however, as he slid into Hades' chamber to see the God of the Underworld and a fat, dog-like thing that could have been related to Goofy.

"Let me see if I got this right..." said Hades. "That brat's Keyblade works on any lock?"

"That's right," Goofy's overweight relative replied. He pulled himself up as if he were proud to be privy to such dignified knowledge. Hades chuckled.

"Have I ever told you about the killer coliseum we have right here in the Underworld? It makes the one upstairs look like an Olympic kiddie pool."

"Then that's the place we're gonna put an end to Herc the Jerk's winnin' streak." The dog-beast pounded the table causing Hades' little lackeys to jump.

"Problem," said Hades. "Zeus locked it tight." Riku rolled his eyes, but the stupid dog thing didn't get it until after Hades started one of his well-practiced, sinister chuckles. "Bingo...All we gotta do is swipe that key...and then reopen the Underdrome!"

"Hate to tell ya, but that key is kinda particular. It won't work for just anybody. And that kid ain't no pushover."

Riku swelled with something frighteningly close to motherly pride. That was damn right. Sora wasn't no pushover and Hades could just stick it...

"I think this calls for a woman's touch..." said Hades, snapping his finger.

Riku sighed, immediately turned, and left the chamber before anyone noticed his presence. Hades was a scheming bastard and Riku didn't know how Cloud ever managed to put up with him, disagreeable as Cloud was. He considered the options. Demyx, as far as Riku or Pluto could sense, was still sitting where they left him, probably staring at that stupid rock. Hades was trying to give Phil's coliseum some healthy business competition. Who knew where Sora was traipsing around, and let it be said, Maleficent was in the market for real estate.

Had they always been this on crack and Riku just hadn't noticed while infused with darkness and everything?

After some consideration, he decided he'd head back to Demyx just for kicks (and in case he headed off anywhere else). Riku made it halfway there before he heard the commotion aboveground. He considered, shook his head, and continued. Whatever was going on up there Riku was staying the hell out of it. He was supposed to be stalking Demyx, damn it, and if he had to run across the Underworld one more time just to keep this whole thing straight, someone was going to die.

It was, apparently, a good decision because he would have ended up here anyway. While Demyx stayed exactly where he was, Riku hid nearby, a minimal portal open to hear and see should anything happen. He put his phone on silent and traded obnoxious text messages with Leon while he waited. A half hour later, he'd added Yuffie, Aerith, Tifa, and Cid's numbers to his phone and traded a few more obnoxious texts with Yuffie when Sora, Donald, and Goofy arrived. They hadn't even made it into the room when Riku stashed away his phone and both he and Demyx rose to their feet.

"Huh?" said Demyx. "Ah! You!"

Riku rolled his eyes. He acted like he was interrupted staring at his stone as if it were something important. Demyx turned toward Sora. He pulled back his hood and Riku's mouth fell. He had a mullet.

Seriously.

"Wait a sec..." Demyx said, shaking his finger as if he were trying to recall something. "Roxas?"

Riku already hated him.

"Excuse me?" Sora replied, bewildered.

Perhaps Sora was so thick Roxas didn't even have a chance to try and split.

"Roxas?" Demyx tried again. "Oh, it's no use." He deflated and shook his head. He looked like someone had killed his puppy.

"Huh?" Sora replied. "What are you talking about?"

Demyx straightened up and pulled out a note, holding it high. "Let's see, here...'If the subject fails to respond, use aggression to liberate his true disposition'...Right. Did they ever pick the wrong guy for this one..."

"You're bizarre..." said Sora.

Riku had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep from outright laughing because he couldn't have said it better and this was why Sora was his very best friend in the entire world. Demyx, however, didn't miss a beat and pulled out that stupid stone again. Sora gasped; Goofy pointed.

"He's gotta be the thief!" Goofy declared.

"Now that's just plain rude!" Demyx replied.

Thief. What did Demyx do? Steal the stupid stone and then sit here all this time all proud of himself or something? And now he was offended? He even pouted a little before he held the stone up and it began to glow with light. Then he produced something that looked like a guitar and Riku remembered what DiZ had told him. Demyx controlled water with a sitar—that stupid-looking thing he was now wielding as if it were formidable. And just when Riku thought this guy couldn't be any more of a joke...

"Dance, water! Dance!"

Sora killed the measly amount of water forms that appeared in seconds. Demyx looked pleased.

"Not bad, Roxas!" He squared his shoulders, and then as if pleading, said, "Roxas, come back to us!"

And with that he vanished into the darkness dropping the shiny stone on the ground behind him. Riku could do nothing but stare blankly. Silently he closed the portal, looked at Pluto, and blinked.

"I cannot believe DiZ woke us up for this," he calmly stated, and with Pluto by his side, headed back to the World That Never Was. The fast way.

-0-

"He called him Roxas a bunch of times and said, 'Roxas, come back to us.'"

"And?"

Riku shrugged. "He stole a stone."

"And?"

Riku shrugged again. "That's about it."

"I see."

"I'm glad one of us does."

"How did Sora react?"

"He thinks Demyx is insane."

"I see."

"Once again, glad one of us does. I'm going to bed."

It was close to nine when Riku left DiZ in the kitchen and headed upstairs with a Styrofoam container of instant noodles in hand. He just settled in, cloak sprawled on the floor and Pluto sprawled on top of it, when his phone rang. Riku practically spilled what was left of his broth in a mad attempt to get to it in time and huffed upon seeing Leon's name on the display. Not that he didn't want to talk to Leon, but...

"Hey," said Riku, slumping. "What's up?"

"What is with your preoccupation with licking ice cream cones?" Leon replied.

Riku snorted and set the instant noodle cup on a nearby table. "Oh, yeah. That. I don't know. I was following this Organization guy today and I was just bored out of my effing mind so I needed something to pass the time."

"So asking me for everyone's number and sending me perverted messages about ice cream cones was the solution?" There was a dry but amused tone in Leon's voice that made the corners of Riku's mouth turn up a little.

"Hey, I sent Yuffie messages about buttering her bread if it makes you feel less special."

"A little. But anyway, it was nice to hear from you."

"You just saw me!"

"Whatever. That's not the real reason I'm calling. First I wanted to let you know Sora was here yesterday."

"Yesterday? I thought Sora was at the Beast's castle yesterday?"

"I don't know. It was later in the day. Merlin summoned him. Found Pooh's book."

"Who the hell is Pooh?"

"From what I understand, you don't want to know. Anyway, I didn't get a chance to see him, but I thought you'd like to know he was well."

"Yeah, I know. I saw him in Olympus Coliseum today while I was stalking the moron that is Demyx. Got a few chuckles over it, too."

"Oh...well...that's great, then."

"Yeah. So what else did you want to tell me about?"

"I have a question, actually. I was wondering if you'd heard from Cloud."

Riku perked up. "No. Why? Did something happen?"

"Hell if I know. I haven't been able to get a hold of him or Tifa for the past two days and when I said something to Aerith, she couldn't get in touch with them, either. So then Yuffie tried, and no one answered, so I was wondering if you'd heard anything."

"No. I haven't." Riku sighed and on the other end, Leon mimicked the sound. "That's bad, right? I mean, with everything going on..."

"Ordinarily I wouldn't say so because Cloud just doesn't answer sometimes, but Tifa not answering is kind of unusual."

"Yeah, right...So...?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't worry just yet. If no one hears from them tomorrow then I'll figure something out. Fly back to Gaea or something to find out what's going on. Don't worry."

"Well I'm gonna worry now."

"I'm sure they're fine. I'll let you know if I hear anything, though."

"Yeah, same here."

"So your days sucks even more now, huh?"

"I didn't think it was possible. Seriously."

"That bad?"

"The only interesting thing that happened was I got to see Sora and he reminded me again why I love him so damn much. Oh, and Hades is trying to open up some Underdrome in the Underworld that's supposed to be better than Phil's. So let Yuffie know. I know how you love to enter tournaments there with her."

Leon growled. "The only way Yuffie will ever hear anything about this from me is if she tries to fuck it out of me."

"That scared of girly parts?"

"If they're attached to Yuffie, you're damn right I am."

Riku snorted. "Well sorry to cut this short but I need to abuse myself thinking about how Cloud's probably dead before I fall asleep and since I'm fucking exhausted, I better get on that."

"Cloud isn't probably dead."

"He could be. You don't know."

"I told you not to worry. He's probably busy or he ran over his phone charger with his motorcycle, borrowed Tifa's, and then killed that with his brand new, ridiculously expensive sword."

"Still sore over that, huh?"

"You don't even want to know how much I paid for the parts to make that stupid sword."

Riku chuckled. "Yeah. I know you're probably right, I just..."

"Worry."

"I love him."

"I know. I'll let you go. Sleep."

"I'll try."

"Have good dreams."

"Doubtful."

"You have to. I demanded it."

"You may be the boss of the Hollow Bastion Restoration, but you still ain't the boss of me."

"That's what you think."

"Thanks for calling."

"No problem. I'll talk to you soon. Good night."

"Night, Leon."

Riku flipped the phone shut and stuck it on the table next to his instant noodle cup. Crawling into the cot, he flopped on his side and stared out the window.

"Seriously, Cloud, where the hell are you?"


	74. Rejected

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: [074.] Angry

**Word Count**: 3,967

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Cloud's fate is denied in more ways than one.

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing related to the Kingdom Hearts (or Final Fantasy) franchise. I'm sure it shows.

**Author's Note**: For painfully obvious reasons I had to take all Aerith appearances out of this but decided that even without her, the Lifestream would take care of things on its own. The Lifestream is useful for things like this.

* * *

**_Step Seventy-Four: Rejected_**

It was after midnight. The sky over Edge was calm, but the city itself was in ruins. The bedroom door on the second floor of Tifa's Seventh Heaven kicked open and Vincent and Zack walked in, Cloud's body carried between them. Together they shuffled across the room, communicating with grunts and head nods as if they'd been doing this for a while. They made it to the bed Cloud currently called his, positioned on either side, and then set him on the mattress. Zack moved to make him more comfortable as Tifa and Reeve walked in.

"We should get him changed into something more comfortable," said Tifa.

On the bed Cloud moaned and rolled his head to the side. Tifa watched him for a moment, face twisted, and then began rifling through Cloud's bag strewn on the floor.

"I wish he'd at least let me know his laundry needs done or something," she muttered to herself, sniffed a shirt, and then threw it to the side. She pulled out a pair of pajama pants, sniffed the crotch, and nodded. "This ought to do."

"Ew, Tifa, what if that had been dirty," Zack whined. "Vincent, are you just going to let your girl do something like that?"

Vincent stared at Zack. "Better her than me."

"I have to agree with Vincent," Reeve added.

"Shut up, Zack, and help me undress him," Tifa snapped, crossing back to the bed. "If you just lift him so we can get this off...Gentle, Zack! He's wounded!"

"I'm trying to be gentle! If you don't like the way I do it, then ask Vincent!"

"Shhh..." said Cloud, half-giggling. "I hurt." He punctuated the statement with a whine, and then whined again as Tifa gently tugged his shirt over his head. "Dinnit you jus' dress me?"

"That was for travel reasons," Tifa calmly told him again.

"Yeah," said Zack. "Tifa thought you might not want to be carried around Edge in a dressing gown."

"My chest really hurts," Cloud replied.

"I know it does, honey," Tifa said. "Can you help me get your pants changed? Then you can go right back to sleep."

Cloud snorted. "No."

"He is on a lot of medication right now," said Reeve.

"Can I go back, Tifa? I don't wanna be here."

"We're home now, honey. Remember?"

Cloud considered and shook his head. "No. We are?"

"Yeah. That's why you needed to get dressed, remember?"

"No...My chest hurts."

"I know, honey."

Tifa and Zack managed to change Cloud into his pajama pants and then they stood and stared down at him.

"I suppose we should change the bandages," said Tifa.

"I'll go get the first aid kit," Vincent said and slipped from the room.

Zack looked at Cloud a second longer; he turned his attention to Reeve. "So...What now?"

Reeve sighed.

-0-

Marlene held tight to his chest as he rode into Edge; her face buried into his back.

"Cloud, what's going to happen?" she asked. Her voice was raised so Cloud could hear her over the hum of Fenrir, but her voice still sounded small and scared. Cloud swallowed.

"I don't know. I'm going to take you back to Tifa's and then I'm going to try and find everyone. Hopefully we can get this all sorted out."

"I don't want to be alone."

"I know, but I have to go fight, and if Tifa's already out there...You'll be safe at home, okay? Just stay inside and don't go anywhere."

"This is like the last time, isn't it? When Sephiroth was here and the planet used the Lifestream to make him go away?"

Cloud didn't answer. He directed Fenrir through the fastest path he could think of and allowed the engine to idle when they reached Tifa's. Cloud turned and helped Marlene off the bike. She walked to the door and with one hand on the knob turned to look back. Her eyes were wide, pleading. Cloud nodded.

"Go on. I'll let Tifa know you're safe. That's the most important thing right now."

"But I want to see her," Marlene said.

"You will. Soon. Okay? I just...have some stuff I have to take care of."

Marlene looked toward the sky. She nodded once and disappeared inside. Cloud took a breath and then got back on Fenrir. He rode back toward the city's center.

His mind couldn't even wander as he kept his focus directed toward finding Tifa. He found her near the monument, Denzel at her side and looking decidedly less creepy than he had those few hours ago in the Forgotten City. He stopped the bike next to them and shut it off.

"Marlene will be safe. I took her home," Cloud said. He assumed she knew the rest thanks to the state of Edge and Denzel at her side.

Tifa just smiled. "Mm."

Cloud glanced down, hesitated, and then looked at her again. "I feel lighter."

Tifa frowned. "Hm?"

Cloud lightly shrugged and looked off toward Bahamut. "Maybe I lost some weight. All that dilly-dallying."

Tifa smiled and nodded. She looked down at Denzel.

"I'm gonna go back to see Marlene, okay, Cloud?" said Denzel. "We'll wait for you!" Denzel turned and started to run, but then looked back. "We'll see you there, won't we, Cloud?"

These kids were going to be the death of him. If Tifa's smile was any indication, she knew it, too. He just couldn't say no to them. Cloud nodded. Denzel hesitated a moment longer, smiled, and then ran off back toward Seventh Heaven. Cloud huffed, climbed from Fenrir, and pulled two parts of First Tsurugi from their compartments. His eyes met Tifa's only briefly and then they were off together in the direction of Bahamut.

Thanks to riding with Marlene, Cloud discovered he was last to arrive at the party. Vincent was already there as was Zack and it seemed sometime while he was gone Barret, Red XIII, and Cait Sith had shown up. He was almost ashamed; he hadn't seen the last three in ages and here he was last to arrive (except for Yuffie and Cid, of course, but they were back in Hollow Bastion with their own dictator to attend to).

Cloud dashed between the volleys of bullets Barret unleashed from his position on the ground. As Cloud assessed the situation, Bahamut flew around low to the ground and up to the scaffolding far over head. Vincent was already up there, running or flying or whatever he did along the roof. Zack, too, was up there with him. Bahamut and those beasts he'd seen when he first met up with Kadaj were running around, and Cloud intercept just as Barret was about to be attacked.

"The hell you been?" Barret barked.

"Around," Cloud answered.

Now this was where he felt comfortable, and in the heat of the moment, all the fear of darkness and musings of his pathetic heart were lost. He was amongst friends, working as a team, and nothing was going to touch him now.

The battle raged. He was fighting in a lower position than Barret, keeping the dog beasts at bay as Bahamut flew and Barret reached for his hand. Cloud jumped. It wasn't an unusual position to be in, flinging through the sky like a fucking bullet to slash at the monster overhead. He used the momentum to propel himself further into the air. He passed from level to level, whether on his own or with assistance from the team, slashing at Bahamut every chance he got. With another gash in Bahamut he flew higher and higher, but then Bahamut lurched, connecting hard to his body. For all of a terrifying second he was sure he was going to fall, probably flatten on the macadam below and liquefy from the inertia, but then a hand caught his and he briefly caught sight of Tifa before she shouted, "No giving up!" and hurled him upward again. Later he would think she was not someone to get in a fist fight with, but the thought escaped him at the moment as Bahamut unleashed a Mega Flare. He had just enough time to react; he cut through the blast, fused the two parts of First Tsurugi together, and landed the blow. Bahamut fell and just as Cloud landed safely and took a breath he saw it. Out in the distance on the roof of a building in construction were Rufus Shinra and Kadaj. The roof was aglow and Cloud almost swore he heard Kadaj unleash an agonizing roar and the sound of gunshots. He took off in their direction.

There was no time to think in these battles—not like ones against Sephiroth where everything was so calculated down to every little move. All he could do right now was react, go on gut instinct, and move. Now he was racing toward where he'd seen Kadaj and Rufus on Fenrir. The sound an explosion sounded from the roof of the building and Cloud picked up speed. All he managed to see as he approached was Rufus Shinra, his wheelchair, and Kadaj tumbling from the roof and then Kadaj, capsule in hand, mounting his own bike and taking off. Cloud tore after him.

There could only be one thing Rufus Shinra and Kadaj could have such a brutal face-off over and that was Jenova's head. That stupid head—the bane of his entire being—was now in Kadaj's hands, and by extension, Sephiroth's. Cloud pushed Fenrir on harder. He was riding just behind Kadaj now as they weaved through crowds of panicked people, flocking around, desperate not to get hit in the chase.

Kadaj led him to the Midgar Highway. Cloud was vaguely aware of Loz and Yazoo tailing them as they rode and smashed through a blockade marked 'DANGER.' Cloud dodged the bullets first, and then Loz and Yazoo were on him. Yazoo was laughing, firing, and Loz came up on the other side, rammed into Fenrir, and then attacked. Cloud reached for a piece of First Tsurugi, avoided another volley of attacks from Yazoo.

These two were a pain and once again Cloud was outnumbered. He tried to focus on dodging and staying on the bike, defending himself when he needed to. They weren't playing around either. If it wasn't sword attacks it was bullets and then Loz brought the bikes into it and the whole thing moved just so fast Cloud didn't even know what was going on. People were jumping between bikes, swords clashed, and all Cloud could do was just keep moving. It was after a series of locking weapons and reacting on pure instinct that Cloud managed to shake them both. He lost some distance with Kadaj in the battle, but he managed to catch up, and then, out of nowhere, Kadaj took off in a burst of speed. Cloud raced behind him, barely noticing a too familiar flash of red hair, and then just behind him there was a massive explosion, sending both Cloud and Fenrir flying.

Reflexes at the ready, they crossed swords before they even touched the ground. Cloud felt a tug as Kadaj's blade caught his left sleep and ripped it straight off, exposing the black-stained Geostigma wound on his arm. He winced for a moment but didn't even have time to care; Cloud charged Kadaj and then rebounded, lost balance, and hit the pavement, Fenrir flying out from under him for the second time in under twenty-four hours. The repairs were going to be ridiculous.

Cloud got to feet and looked around. From what he could tell, Kadaj should have landed either very near or right into the Sector Six Church. Clouded head in that direction.

The entire city seemed to be blowing itself up as Cloud rode into the building. Upon entrance, he managed to slide under a falling pillar and then he saw Kadaj racing upon the rafters above. He fired several magic attacks down and Cloud managed to dodge them, longing for the days of his own materia. Every shot missed left a crater in the floor of the church and then water started to bubble up from underneath. Kadaj stopped firing and they both stared at the pool forming on the church floor. On its own, the water reached out to the church walls and up to the rafters, then came pouring down in a rainfall. He almost cursed for a moment, now soaked, and then the numbing pain in his left arm started to subside, a pale light engulfed his arm, and the black, oozing mark of Geostigma began to shrink. Cloud stared, but wasn't able to linger on what unusual thing had just happened to his Geostigma because a loud crash sounded above. Cloud looked up just in time to see Kadaj escape through a hole in the wall near the rafters. With one glance at the flowerbed, Cloud took off, racing after Kadaj.

And now here he was. It was the moment he'd been waiting for ever since he first got that stupid call from Reno to come to this forsaken world. Cloud was just here, facing Kadaj, at the goddamn Shinra building of all places, and Kadaj was clutching Jenova's head.

"Brother," said Kadaj. "I'm with her at last."

Cloud regarded him. "So what's gonna happen now?"

Kadaj looked at Jenova's head and laughed. "Mother's going to tell me."

Cloud stared. "I guess a Remnant wouldn't really know."

Kadaj's face twisted. "So what if I'm a puppet...Once upon a time..." he said, voice trailing off, and then he flew forward, screaming, "you were too!"

And then the battle started. The battle that was only going to end after Sephiroth showed his arrogant face and Cloud was ready for it. He met all of Kadaj's attacks, blow by blow, brought his sword down on the offense and took the defense at all the right times and then it started to happen. Something...changed...in Kadaj's expression. Cloud had him cornered and he took the opportunity to attack, but Kadaj blocked the blow with Jenova's head and Kadaj gave him a chilling smile.

"My Reunion..." he said. "Bet you're dying to watch."

And this was it. Cloud moved to strike but Kadaj thrust Jenova's head against his chest and the next time he crossed swords...

"Good to see you...Cloud."

He was staring right back at Sephiroth. And though he was ready for it, he was thrown back by Sephiroth's attack. It didn't matter, though. None of it mattered. This was it. The final time they were going to meet. Cloud could feel it in his heart—the strength and light growing there even as Sephiroth opened his mouth for another one of his infamous pre-battle chats.

"Your Geostigma is gone," Sephiroth noted. Cloud stared. "That's too bad."

"Sephiroth, what do you want?"

"The last thoughts of Geostigma's dead. Those Remnants will join the Lifestream and girdle the planet...choking it, corroding it...What I want, Cloud...is to sail the darkness of the cosmos with this planet as my vessel...Just as my mother did long ago."

And Sephiroth had clearly lost his mind even more than the last time Cloud had killed him. Cloud readied First Tsurugi as Sephiroth held a hand up and the sky turned dark like it had so many years ago when the Heartless took over Hollow Bastion.

"Then one day we'll find a new planet, and on its soil we'll create a shining future," Sephiroth finished at last.

Cloud considered offering him a gummi ship and decided that probably wouldn't go over well.

"What about this planet?" he went with instead.

"Well...that's up to you, Cloud."

Sephiroth sneered and brought down his hand. The sky changed again, signaling a catastrophe to come from above. Somewhere Cloud hoped everyone he had fought alongside today was safe and that they knew well enough to keep out of this. Today was the day and Cloud was going to do it on his own. He charged.

It was as if every time they crossed blades Sephiroth was more and more powerful and more and more demented. But despite all this, Cloud's strength was returning, and this time they were fighting on far more personal ground than the last. Sephiroth continued the chatter, but Cloud didn't miss a beat. His entire body felt on fire with every clash of their swords, with every jump, every dodge, but then Sephiroth started talking crazy again and an enormous pain pierced into his arm.

"Tell me what you cherish most," said Sephiroth. "Give me the pleasure of taking it away?"

Cloud gripped Masamune, jumped back, and managed to wrench it from his arm. He charged.

"I pity you...You just don't get it at all. There's not a thing I don't cherish!" He could feel it. The power rising in him as Omnislash unleashed. "Stay where you belong. In my memories."

Sephiroth regarded Cloud. "I will never be a memory."

And just as Cloud felt it might be over, he vanished up in smoke, right into thin fucking air and Cloud's heart just knew. The son of a bitch had fled off before he could die. He knew he was going to die...that Cloud had focused, held onto the light, wasn't backing down, and he just fucking _knew _that it was over, too, so he fled off so Cloud could hunt him down and finish the job. Again. And more than ever he wanted to kill Sephiroth at this moment if only for _pissing him off_ so _fucking much_ that he could just combust.

And Sephiroth had left Kadaj behind, too. His body fell toward ground, dying from the attack, taking the brunt of the injuries Cloud had meant for Sephiroth while the real thing was scampering off across the worlds again before Cloud found him. Cloud, in a mixture of sympathy and anger, caught Kadaj before he hit the ground and lowered his body.

"Brother..." Kadaj said.

If Cloud were a bigger asshole, he might have said something like, "I'm not your fucking brother," but instead simply watched him as the Lifestream began to rain down on them and then he just faded away. Strangely, Cloud was sad to see him go. He couldn't do anything but just sit there, watching the spot where Kadaj had been.

Out of the silence that had overtaken Edge a gunshot fired out and then there was nothing.

-0-

He woke to Zack's face peering down at him against a backdrop of white walls. Cloud blinked. He tried to sit up but unbearable pain shot through his entire body. He winced and cried out.

"Whoa," said Zack. "Take it easy."

"Am I dead?"

Zack laughed. "No more than I am."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Lifestream chucked you out, too, now. Guess that makes us the Lifestream Reject Twins or something."

"What? What happened?"

"Oh my...Is he awake!?" an alarmed voice that sounded like Tifa cut Zack off and then she came into view. "Cloud! I'm so glad you're okay! I..."

"What's going on?" Cloud asked. "What happened? Where am I? Why do I hurt so much?"

"You were pretty banged up from...well...everything," said Zack. "And Sephiroth did stick Masamune through your shoulder."

"My chest hurts. The last thing I remember is Sephiroth..." At the memory, Cloud tried to sit up, but his body shrieked in pain again and Cloud cried out.

"Don't try to move," said Tifa. "You'll only make it worse."

"He got away!" Cloud cried. "I was about to finish it! I had him and the son of a bitch ran off and left Kadaj to die in his place!"

"We know," said Tifa, "and I'm very proud of you."

"He got away!"

"You'll get him next time. Don't worry about that just now. You need rest."

"I don't understand what's going on."

"Look, after Sephiroth took off and Kadaj disappeared..." said Zack. "We were watching the whole thing. You were just sitting there, staring at where Kadaj had been and...there was nothing we could do. Yazoo fired and you got hit."

"I got shot?"

"Right in the chest. Killed you instantly."

"Killed...?"

"But the Lifestream chucked you back out into the Sector Six Church, which is where we found you, so I guess you're not supposed to die just yet."

"The Lifestream healed most of your wounds, but you're still probably going to be in pain for a few days," said Tifa.

"I was dead?"

"I told you you don't remember anything that happens in the Lifestream," said Zack. "But did you believe me? No."

"That doesn't matter. You're back now. And there's even more good news," said Tifa, sitting. "That rain the Lifestream started when Kadaj died...it healed the Geostigma, Cloud. And there's this pool in the Sector Six Church that heals the Geostigma, too. Denzel's healed and everything's going to be okay. And it's all thanks to you."

"Your Geostigma's gone, too, if you haven't noticed," said Zack.

"I know," said Cloud. "I was there...In the church before I fought Sephiroth. Kadaj was attacking me and he blew a hole in the floor and all this water started coming up and it just...healed."

"See," said Zack. "And you were all hiding the Geostigma like it was some big deal. It's just not your time, Spike. Deal with it."

"So where am I now?"

"Shinra hospital," said Tifa. "Since the Lifestream threw you out, there was no bullet to remove or anything but you were still bleeding so we wanted to get you medical attention. We have a bunch of instructions on taking care of the two wounds—the bullet wound and the one from Sephiroth—and some potions for the pain."

"Shinra hospital?" said Cloud. "No. I...I don't want to be here. I want to go back to Seventh Heaven. I told Denzel...I promised him. And I don't...Shinra..."

"Okay," said Zack. "It's okay. Calm down. The doctors said you'd be able to go home tonight so let me go see what I can work out."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," said Tifa. "He's in a lot of pain still and maybe it'd be better if he was here overnight to be monitored or something."

"But he doesn't want to be here," said Zack.

"Yeah," said Cloud. "I don't want to be here."

"Let's just take him back. You and I can take turns watching over him or something, okay? Besides, I bet Marlene and Denzel are waiting for you back at home. You, Vincent, and Reeve can get a cab or something while I take Fenrir back..."

"Fenrir," said Cloud. "My poor Fenrir..."

"He doesn't want to be anywhere with the name Shinra in it," Zack continued as if he were never interrupted. "He'll probably get better rest, too, if he's in familiar surroundings. Bring him some comfort, ya know?"

Tifa sighed and looked at Cloud. He tried to pout but his head was starting to feel fuzzy again.

"Okay. I'll stay here with him. You go find out what needs to be done to get him out of here."

Zack nodded and disappeared from sight as Tifa took his hand.

-0-

Everything in Cloud's world was spinning and hazy, but he was no longer in pain as Tifa finished changing a bandage on his arm.

"Do you want to go first or should I?" said Tifa.

"I'll watch him," said Zack. "You get some rest."

"Cloud's going to be okay, right?" said Marlene.

"He'll be fine," said Denzel. "Don't worry. He's Cloud, right?"

"Hmm," said Marlene.

"Let's clear out now and let Cloud sleep," said Vincent.

The second-floor bedroom of Tifa's Seventh Heaven cleared out save for Cloud already asleep in bed and Zack who left the door cracked and switched from the bright overhead light to a soft table lamp.

* * *

**_Coughs and hides back in MS Word._**

**_Review?_**

**_Heh._**

**_-AJ (new nickname! yay!)_**

**_Ahem..._**

**_I should be ashamed of myself. I know._**


	75. Of Unbelievable Proximity

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: [075.] Hurt

**Word Count**: 4,660

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Wherein Riku is both relieved and can't believe how incredibly close it was all this time.

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing related to the Kingdom Hearts (or Final Fantasy) franchise. I'm sure it shows.

**Author's Note**: Here's that week that goes by really fast because when I first planned I forgot that where Sora is in his own timeline is important, too. –smiles sheepishly- Oops.

* * *

**_Step Seventy-Five: Of Unbelievable Proximity_**

The week following Riku's trek into Olympus Coliseum after Demyx passed in a blur. He woke on the first day on his own to Pluto sprawled at the end of his bed, half-laying on his feet. Riku was immediately confused. He had expected to be woken by DiZ at an ungodly hour because Demyx or Xigbar or even Saïx was off to start trouble and Riku would have to be the tag-a-long. Instead it was almost eleven according to his cell phone and even last night's instant noodle cup was still atop the shabby table. DiZ hadn't been in here at all. Slightly concerned, Riku shifted his feet out from under Pluto, pocketed the phone, grabbed his garbage, and headed downstairs. He found DiZ in the kitchen.

"Did you get enough rest?" he asked before Riku made it to the trash can.

"Yeah, sure, but what happened? No one left this morning?"

"Xigbar and Luxord took off late last night so I followed them on my own. I only just got back."

"Oh...Well, thanks for not waking me. I really needed the sleep."

"Yes, I know. You've been whining about it ever since you arrived. Don't be too appreciative just yet, though. I thought now that you were well-rested it might be a good time for you to consider tracking down Axel."

"Oh, yeah. Him."

"Yes, him. He's going to be a problem and he should have been eliminated, but since you couldn't find it in you heart..."

"I know. You've reprimanded me for this before, remember? I'll find him."

"Soon."

"Yes, soon. Okay? So what happened with Xigbar and Luxord?"

"They went scouting around a few worlds, summoned more Nobodies, but that's it. They left The Land of Dragons in quite a rush, however. Now the remaining Organization members have holed up in one room of the castle. I believe they're having a meeting."

"And how do you know that?"

"I followed them, of course."

"Isn't that a little risky, going into the castle?"

"I didn't stay for the meeting."

"But still..."

"We're going to need to go in there eventually. Especially now with this meeting. All that time Saïx and Xemnas have spent in the castle makes me nervous."

"Oh yeah. Them."

"Yes them. Do you refuse to think about anything other than your need to eat and sleep?"

"I think about things, okay? I'm just unsure of what we're supposed to do about anything if I'm not actually supposed to fight anyone."

"This isn't just all about fighting. Take a look at these blueprints I've drawn up and tell me what you think."

DiZ turned away from what was left of the island counter separating them and grabbed large rolls of paper Riku hadn't noticed there before. Turning back, he unrolled one long sheet of paper and then unrolled two more on top of it. Riku stared at the drawings of what appeared to be some kind of machine he'd never seen before.

"Not to sound ignorant, but what is it?" said Riku.

"I've been working on the mechanics of the heart for some time," DiZ explained. "This machine is intended to counter the Organization's efforts by releasing the hearts trapped inside Kingdom Hearts."

"Will it work?"

"In theory, it should."

"Theory?"

"The human heart is an unpredictable thing."

"So you have no idea," said Riku. "Okay. That's all you needed to say." Riku paused as he lifted the top drawing to look at the one under it, and then he took a look at the bottom blueprint. He looked up. "So say this does work. It released the hearts from Kingdom Hearts so that the Organization can't collect them. What happens then? I mean, don't hearts go to Kingdom Hearts in the first place after Sora kills the Heartless? Do they become people again or would they manifest as Heartless?"

"The device should reclaim Kingdom Hearts and encode it as data."

"Haven't we had enough problems with data universes already?"

"The encoding should keep the hearts safe for study and the retrieval will shut off access from the Organization. It's the only way I can find to keep the hearts safe. I had other plans, but now that Sora is awake and an acting force...I can't control him. This is the only effort I can make."

Riku stared. "If it's the only plan you've got..."

"The Organization can't get hold of those hearts. If they try to reclaim their own and become whole again, there's no telling what they'll do. They need to be destroyed."

"This is about revenge again, isn't it?" said Riku. DiZ didn't answer. "Fine, but I already told you I'm not helping you with revenge. I'm getting something to eat and then I'm going to go look for Axel with Pluto. Maybe I'll try Twilight Town or something. Let me know if anything changed while I was gone."

DiZ didn't reply. He remained silent, staring at his blueprints as Riku scoured the kitchen for something to eat, and once fed headed back upstairs. Pluto was still sleeping on the bed when he walked into the room and grabbed the cloak from the floor.

"Hey, boy. Feel like hunting for Axel today?" Riku asked as he shrugged the coat on. The only reply he received was a long yawn and a bark. Pluto bounded off the bed, Riku opened a portal, and they were off.

The day was a bust. He neither saw nor sensed Axel or Naminé in Twilight Town, though he did have an unhappy reunion with Seifer and the Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee. Riku considered popping back into Hollow Bastion just for kicks now that he was away from DiZ's watchful eye, but reconsidered. If he went to Hollow Bastion, he was just going to get stuck there for hours—maybe even overnight—hanging out with Leon who wouldn't want him to leave and Riku would want to stay, and then tomorrow DiZ would be unbearable. He made it back to The World that Never Was in the early evening just as his phone rang. Instead of heading to the house he shared with DiZ, Riku stopped in the house he'd shared with Cloud while prepping for the fight with Roxas and checked the display. His stomach dropped; it was Tifa's number.

His hands shook as Riku flipped open the phone and held it up. "Hello?"

"Riku? Oh thank Shiva, I thought you might not answer."

Riku paused and his stomach twisted at the voice that was most definitely Cloud's. He could've cried. "Cloud? What...?"

"It's a long story," Cloud said, hurriedly. "Or a short one. I don't know. Leon called Tifa this morning and ripped her a new one for not answering for two days. He also said I needed to call you because you were worried so...I'm calling."

"Oh. Well...yeah. I hadn't heard from you and I tried calling a few times but you either didn't answer or it went straight to voicemail so...And then Leon called to ask me if I'd heard from you because he couldn't get a hold of you or Tifa so that worried me..."

"I lost my phone," Cloud said, huffing. "That's why I had to call you from Tifa's. I don't know when but it's just gone so I have to get a new one whenever I get back to Hollow Bastion."

"Oh...okay. Well, I'm glad you're okay...Are you busy or something? You're talking really fast and you sound kind of irritated."

"No, I'm not busy. Just...I had him. I had him and the son of a bitch got away."

"Wha...Huh? What do you mean? You had who?"

"Sephiroth!"

Riku perked up, eyes widened. "What?! You had Sephiroth?!"

"Yes! And the son of a bitch got away!"

"What happened?"

Cloud took a breath as if trying to calm himself. "Okay, so it was two days...three...yeah, it was three days ago 'cause I slept through yesterday. So three days ago..."

"What do you mean you slept through yesterday?"

"I'll get there; just hold on. So three days ago these kids start noticeably disappearing from Edge so me and Zack went out with Reno and Rude to try to find out something about it. So we're asking around and everything, but I passed out from the Geostigma..."

"Oh, Cloud..."

"Oh, wait. There's more to _that_, too. Anyway, I wake up with Reno, Rude, Zack, and Tifa all crowded around me back at Tifa's and the _very first thing_ they do is yell at me for not telling them about the Geostigma. Then they tell me that Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo took the kids to their base at the Forgotten City and that Marlene and Denzel are with them."

"Oh hell..."

"Yeah, I know. So I get elected to go out there after the kids, which is kind of a long ride, but Tifa backs me into a corner so I don't have a choice. Reno and Rude take off and Zack stays with Tifa so I have to go on my own. When I get there, Kadaj has all the kids brainwashed or something and then he, Yazoo, and Loz attack me. So I have to fight them all off, right? But I'm outnumbered and I pass out from the Geostigma pain...again..."

"Geez, Cloud..."

"Luckily, they sent Vincent after me and he scared them off enough that they took all the kids and went back to Edge. Marlene, however, is still hanging around so I take her back to Tifa's. This is two days ago, now, because I spent all night in the Forgotten City and driving from and to Edge."

"Okay."

"Okay. So when I get back, Edge is being attacked by Bahamut..."

"What's Bahamut?"

"Think flying monster beast capable of taking out Hollow Bastion market in one attack."

"Oh. Okay."

"Yeah. And because I had to take Marlene home and everything, everyone I fought with last time—except Cid and Yuffie, of course, cause they're in Hollow Bastion—"

"Right."

"Yeah. Everyone's already there. Even Vincent who probably just flew or something, but anyway...I join in. We kill Bahamut, but then Rufus Shinra and Kadaj are going at it over Jenova's head."

"You do realize how crazy this story sounds."

"It gets better. After I see them fighting, I get back on Fenrir and try to get over there, but I only manage to get there after Rufus Shinra, Kadaj, and Jenova's head all come falling from the roof. Kadaj grabs Jenova's head, gets on _his_ bike, and takes off, so naturally, I followed him, and naturally, Loz and Yazoo followed me."

Riku nodded. "Fun."

"Right. So now I'm part of this motorcycle chase across Edge fighting off Loz and Yazoo while trying to keep up with Kadaj and just as I manage to shake them off and get close to Kadaj, Reno and Rude blow up fucking Midgar Highway about half a second after both Kadaj and I passed them. So we both get thrown from the blast, he ends up in the Sector Six Church and I'm nearby so I head over there and guess what happens?"

Riku, already feeling like his eyes were going to pop out of his head, gaped. "He turned in Sephiroth."

"Not yet," said Cloud, his voice raising to a point of near hysteria. "Nope. He starts attacking me with materia...you remember what materia is, right?"

"Yeah. Wait, though. This is in the church now?"

"Yes, we're in the church. I avoid his attacks, but he blows huge craters in the floor. And then water springs up from the cracks and me and Kadaj completely forget we're fighting with each other because the water starts spreading out on it's own, running up the walls, and falling down from the rafters like it's rain. I get soaked..."

"Oh, Cloud..."

"And my Geostigma just...goes away..."

Riku frowned. "Huh?"

"I don't have Geostigma anymore. No one in Edge does. This water in the church just heals it. So, you know, you can stop worrying about that, but the story doesn't stop there."

Riku stared and tried to focus so he could pay attention to the rest of what Cloud had to tell him, but the elation of one weight lifting from his shoulders was so great he could feel the tears of relief welling in his eyes. He released a small cough. "Right. Cause Kadaj..."

"Yeah. I don't have time to really understand that the Geostigma is gone because then Kadaj blows an effing hole in the wall and takes off again. So I go after him over to the Shinra building and we start actually fighting now. Like real, hand to hand combat, until I back him into a corner and he blocks my attack with Jenova's head and like a crazy son of a bitch fuses it into his body and that's when Sephiroth decided to take over."

"So you fought Sephiroth."

"Yes! And you should have heard the crazy bastard, too, going off about how he was going to use Gaea as his vessel to sail the cosmos because he just can't use a gummi ship like a normal fucking person. And he's telling me he's going to give me despair for a gift...I mean, he's really talking crazy this time..."

"Did you say 'sail the cosmos...'?"

"With the planet as his vessel, yes. But anyway, I could feel it, you know? How I can feel Sephiroth's state in my heart because of the darkness tying us?"

Riku nodded. "Ye...Yeah. So?"

"Well I could feel it that if I got him this time it was going to be over. So after he skewered my shoulder with Masamune..."

"He got you again?"

"Yeah," said Cloud, as if he were dismissing it. "It hurt, but...Anyway, he started talking crazy again about taking away what I cherished most, so I take the opening to pull his sword out of me and throw Omnislash at him. And _just_ as I feel he's about to die for good, he disappears. Not like died. Just disappeared into one of those dark portals you use and left Kadaj's body behind to take the entire brunt of what I'd just managed to do to him. So the bastard got away and Kadaj died and from what Zack and Tifa told me, then I died."

"Wait. What?"

"Yeah, I died. Yazoo shot me in the chest and killed me while I was fuming about Sephiroth."

"But...how...I mean..."

"Same as Zack. It wasn't my time and the Lifestream chucked me back out in the Sector Six Church so I'm not really clear on the details after that. Just that Loz and Yazoo are now dead, too, the Lifestream started raining and healing Geostigma, and at some point that day Zack and Tifa and everyone found me all passed out, partially healed, and alive in the church."

"The Lifestream threw you out, too?"

"Yeah. Zack's calling us the Lifestream Reject Twins. So I died, but I'm alive, and that's that. Everyone took me to a hospital, they heavily sedated me but I kept asking to go home and complaining that I hurt so I woke up here today at Tifa's and Zack had to tell me the whole story again. Apparently they've already told me everything but I was too out of it to understand. Then Leon called, I discovered that my phone was lost in the ordeal, Zack and I tried to figure out what to do next, and I called you."

"So you died, and Sephiroth got away, but your Geostigma is healed and everything's okay?"

"Pretty much, except for that Sephiroth part. Bastard."

"I'm glad you're alive."

There was a hesitation on the other end and then Cloud said, "Me too," his voice considerably softer than it had been for the duration of the conversation thus far. "Sorry I haven't called before now."

"Sounds like you've been too busy to get the time. It's okay. I'm just relieved you're alive and that you're going to be okay."

"And I'm Geostigma free."

"Yeah. That's...that's fantastic."

"Any exciting news from your end?"

Riku paused and the relief welled in him. He burst into tears and laughter. "No! Nothing! I've been stalking Organization members but it's been ridiculous and boring. I mean...I saw Sora, okay, but...it wasn't even bad! And Demyx...He's one of the Organization guys...He has a mullet, Cloud. I'm not even kidding."

On the other end, Cloud laughed. "That bad, huh?"

"I mean, I've hardly had any sleep. King Mickey came and left Pluto with me. I guess he talked to DiZ very briefly about what he was doing as far as the Organization, but Mickey is kind of weird about DiZ, too, so...Maleficent is back, but she's currently shopping for real estate so there's no real threat there..."

"Did you say..."

"Shopping for real estate, I know. Well, you know, she lost her castle in Hollow Bastion so she needs a new castle to take over. Um...I followed Xigbar—another Organization guy—and it was so boring. And then I followed Demyx yesterday to Olympus Coliseum, which bummed me out because it reminded me of you and I was worried, but I guess you were asleep yesterday safe and sound, huh?"

Cloud snickered. "Yeah, I guess. What happened besides Demyx has a mullet?"

"Cloud, he fights with a sitar. And all he did was steal a stone and stare at it until Sora showed up. Then he called him Roxas a few times and...Cloud, he pulled out a piece of paper and read his instructions out loud and then goes to himself that they picked the wrong guy for the job. Even Sora thought he was nuts. I thought I was going to give myself away because Sora looks at him plain as day and tells him he's bizarre."

"Well, I'm glad to hear you're okay," said Cloud, laughing.

"Yeah. Just bored. I tried to track down Axel today because DiZ knows now that I let him go and it's my job to find him and make sure he doesn't do anything but I haven't been able to find him yet. Oh, and DiZ is working on some machine to encode hearts into data so he can retrieve the hearts from Kingdom Hearts and reverse the Organization's efforts to collect them. That's about it."

"Sounds riveting."

"Well not everyone can have a story as exciting as yours."

"So now what are you going to do?"

Riku shrugged. "Head back to the house, I guess. Figure out where I should go tomorrow to look for Axel. You?"

"Zack and I are planning to head out to the Forgotten City tomorrow with Reno and Rude to see if we can find that materia Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo were using. From there it's all figuring out where to go to find Sephiroth. Fun, huh?"

"Its like old times except I'll be looking for Axel instead of Sora."

"Hn," said Cloud. "Yeah. That's true. Well I'm gonna go 'cause I'm starting to get tired again. Getting shot in the chest does that."

Riku smiled a little. "I wouldn't know. Really, though, I'm glad you're okay."

"Me too. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Riku waited for Cloud to hang up and then closed his phone. He stared at Pluto sitting by his feet, rolled his head back, and sighed. Cloud was okay. He didn't have Geostigma anymore. He had died, which was a somewhat terrifying thought, but the Lifestream threw him out and now he was okay again. There was still Sephiroth to contend with, but Cloud had been so close and Riku could do nothing but think everything was going to all be right.

-0-

The following three days passed without much event. The day after his conversation with Cloud, Leon called to complain for a half hour about how he had accidentally told Yuffie about the Underdrome and now he was in Olympus Coliseum for the Pain and Panic Cup tomorrow. The only positive part about this, Leon said, was that Sora would probably hear about the Cup and show up for the event. Now that they were speaking on the phone and Riku had nothing to rely on but Leon's voice, his interest perked at the way Leon said the last statement, as if seeing Sora would be something very exciting. Then again, he had also sounded excited about Sora coming to Hollow Bastion for the sake of some book. Riku made a mental note to investigate the upbeat tone Leon's voice took when talking about Sora the next time he was in Hollow Bastion.

Riku spent the day after Leon called following Xigbar and Demyx around (who went off together to Agrabah) and the following two days looking for Axel and Naminé. Nothing proved productive. Xigbar and Demyx merely walked around the day he followed them and then holed up in the castle again for more Organization meetings.

It was on the fifth day after he went to Olympus Coliseum and sometime in the evening while he sat in his room contemplating making a call to Cloud that he felt Axel move into The World That Never Was. Naminé wasn't with him. Shocked that Axel might come to him instead of the other way around, and that he'd come to The World That Never Was considering his current relationship with the Organization, Riku could do nothing but look at Pluto. It was DiZ that broke him out of the trance-like state.

"I already know," Riku said as DiZ walked into the room. "What do I do?"

"Stand by," was the only thing DiZ could offer before he left the room.

So Riku did. He stayed up all night and felt nothing with Axel but his movement around the castle as if he were spying on the Organization or wanted to confirm that Roxas hadn't reappeared in his absence or anything. At the same time Saïx's aura changed—became darker and more alert. In the early morning hours, he led Pluto outside for a walk. He couldn't take just sitting in the room anymore, waiting, wondering what Axel was up to, nerves frayed and jumbled from the change in Saïx. The man himself made Riku so nervous without the way his heart had just darkened and now Riku's own heart was racing. Saïx was too calm to be normal, tightly strung as if he could snap at any moment. Axel wasn't exactly the most subtle person he'd ever met. Saïx knew he was there and Riku didn't want to know how this was going to pan out if Saïx wasn't acting. If he was allowing Axel to sniff around the way he was, then whatever he planned to do about it was worse than anything Riku could imagine.

Just as they were walking back to the house Pluto's head jerked up and Riku felt it, too. Axel was coming this way. Together they crept forward and then Riku paused at a distance and watched as Pluto tailed him until Axel turned a corner and disappeared through a portal. Riku considered going back to let DiZ know he was leaving, but then remembered DiZ would feel it anyway so he opened a portal of his own and whistled for Pluto to follow. Together they entered the corridor and followed Axel.

The walk was so much shorter than Riku could have ever expected. They were only in the darkness for close to an hour and Axel had taken no detours. According to Riku's senses, they were right by Twilight Town, so close Riku almost swore they were actually _in_ Twilight Town, but even from inside the portal this world felt distinctly different. Then Axel stepped out into the open space, Riku opened a sliver, and his stomach clenched; he froze where he was standing. Riku couldn't think, couldn't comprehend, couldn't believe it was so _close_ all this time, couldn't believe he was really standing here and that all he needed to do was step out of the portal. He stared.

Axel stood on the beach at a reasonable distance from Kairi and near the water. The sounds, the scents of Destiny Island invaded his senses even here in the darkness. He heard Kairi's voice clearly; Riku noted that her hair had grown. Out in the distance was the play island and the familiar shape of his favorite paopu nagged his peripheral vision. Riku just knew without going there that just farther up the beach was a dock that rented boats for pocket change and beyond that, the dock where the kids in the neighborhood kept their own boats. Pluto rubbed up against his side and Riku's hand absently fell to the dog's head as Kairi stared Axel down.

"Who are you?" she asked with some trepidation. Riku's heart seized.

"Axel," he replied. "I happen to be an acquaintance of Sora's. Why don't we go see him?" Axel held out his hand.

"...Sora?" Kairi echoed.

This was what Riku had been concerned might happen, but he hadn't expected it so soon. Axel was trying to use Kairi to get Sora. Unsure of what to do, Riku just stood there, but then Pluto barked and bound out the portal. Pluto ran over to Kairi and circled her, wagging his tail and barking happily. Kairi, broken from her own trance, turned her attention to Pluto and then back to Axel. Noticing what had just happened, Axel summoned a group of dusks and they surrounded Kairi. She backed away and pulled into herself as Pluto snarled at the Nobodies. Riku snapped back to attention, opened the portal fully, and whistled. Pluto bound back toward him, stopped, and then turned to bark at Kairi.

"We've got something in common, Kairi," Axel tried. Riku held his breath. "You and I both miss someone we care about. Hey, I feel like we're friends already."

"You're not acting very friendly!" Kairi yelled back as the Dusks started to close in.

She turned and ran in the open portal. It became considerably lighter with her presence, probably because she was a Princess of Heart, but Riku had no time to think of that. As Kairi looked around and wondered aloud where she was Riku had to act. He opened a portal into Twilight Town, it being the closest world, and whistled, hoping Pluto would understand to take Kairi there and that Riku couldn't go with them. He couldn't see Kairi like this. Not yet. Thankfully Pluto took the hint and ran through the portal into Twilight Town. Kairi ran after him, stepped through, and then as if something were nagging her, looked back and right at him. She stared, transfixed, and it was with pain that Riku closed the path separating them. Kairi disappeared from his view.

His heart hurt. For a long while and long after he felt Axel disappear from his senses Riku just stood there in the corridor of darkness alone. Part of him wanted to race into Twilight Town after Kairi; the rest of him wanted to race into Destiny Islands and run like mad in the direction of home. Both parts of Riku knew neither was an option—not looking like this. Not before things were finished. Riku knew he should go back to the World That Never Was right now and do whatever else he needed to do and just not think about what had just happened or how much he hurt. He knew it was what he should do. He headed for Hollow Bastion instead. More than anything Riku wanted a friend right now and since Cloud was still on Gaea and Kairi and Sora weren't options that meant Leon.

Six days after seeing Sora in Olympus Coliseum Riku walked away from Kairi and took the shortest two-hour walk of his life from Destiny Islands to Hollow Bastion.

* * *

**_Continue, yes?_**


	76. The Edge Restoration Committee

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: [076.] Magic

**Word Count**: 2,865

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: The next time he found him, Sephiroth was going to die.

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing related to the Kingdom Hearts (or Final Fantasy) franchise. I'm sure it shows.

* * *

**_Step Seventy-Six: The Edge Restoration Committee_**

"Would you stop yelling already? Geez, Leon, let me get a word in...Yeah, well, it's not like I've had all the time in the world, okay?"

Cloud's head felt heavy and his entire body ached when he woke to Tifa pacing the bedroom he was sharing with Zack. Through his fuzzy vision, she appeared to be irritated and on her cell phone. Zack was sitting up on his own bed watching her with a bemused expression. Cloud groaned and tried to sit up as if that would make more sense of this situation but his shoulder and chest both really hurt so Cloud flopped back against his pillow again. Zack chuckled.

"Good morning, Chocobo-head. It's about time you woke up."

"What time is it?" Cloud mumbled.

"Eleven."

"And you're still in bed?"

"I was up most of the night."

"No, Leon, _you listen_," said Tifa, pacing toward the door and jabbing her finger at the air. "We had a situation, okay? Your calls aren't so important that I'm going to put everything on hold just to chat with you." She paused, huffed, and turned. Her face distorted from whatever Leon had just said and then she scoffed, turned her head, and pursed her lips. "Yes, I appreciate the concern but everything's fine now. If you'd let me tell you what happened maybe you'd understand." Tifa paused again. "Because you're not listening, that's why!"

"Leon called about five minutes ago," said Zack. "They've been going at it ever since. From what I understand, Leon, Aerith, and everyone have been trying to call you and Tifa for two days now but since there was the Kadaj thing and the you thing Tifa only just got her phone on and charged this morning. They were worried that since Tifa wasn't answering someone was dead, which, I guess, isn't that unfounded, right?" Zack chuckled again; Cloud frowned.

"The me thing? What...?" Cloud allowed his mind to wander to the last thing he remembered happening and then it hit him—Sephiroth. He'd been fighting Sephiroth on the Shinra building, unleashed Omnislash, and Sephiroth had taken off before he died and left Kadaj in his place. How had he gone from there to here? Did he pass out again? He checked his left arm to make sure the Geostigma was gone and it hadn't all been a dream; his arm was clean and unmarred. His right shoulder, however, was bandaged just where Sephiroth had stuck Masamune so it had to be real. And what was this bandage around his chest and why did it hurt so damn bad? Cloud touched a hand to the area and winced.

"Need your potion?" Zack asked. He moved to sit on the side of his bed and started rifling through a series of bottles on the table separating them. "No, not that one. Wait...here. Drink this."

Cloud took the offered bottle and turned it to see his name printed on the side. He frowned.

"Hey, Zack...What happened?"

"Leon, would you just shut up for a sec," said Tifa. She pulled the phone back from her mouth a little. "Hey, Cloud, how're you feeling?"

Cloud furrowed his eyebrows and stared at the bottle. "Confused."

"He just asked me what happened again," said Zack.

"You don't remember?" said Tifa. Cloud shook his head. "Zack, fill him in again while I try to get Leon to relax."

"I'll take Cloud over Leon any day," said Zack, winking. "Have fun with that, Tifa."

"Oh, shut up. No, Leon, not you." She started pacing the room again.

"What's going on?" Cloud asked again. Zack sighed.

"I'll tell you again, but you gotta remember this time, okay, Spike?" Zack then went into the story of everything that had happened since Kadaj's death and, seemingly, his own. "You were in and out yesterday, but you slept most of the day," Zack explained. "Tifa and I have been taking turns watching over you. Denzel and Marlene keep popping in, too, all worried you're going to die again, but we keep telling them it's not a big concern because it's obviously not your time. I have, however, dubbed us the Lifestream Reject Twins, so you're going to have to deal with that."

"And Leon was trying to reach Tifa?"

"Hell if I know what's going on, but Tifa's putting on a good show, isn't she?"

"Cloud, would you please talk to Leon?" said Tifa, exasperated, and holding out the phone. "My word is apparently not good enough to believe that you are alive and well."

Cloud frowned and stared at the phone for a long while before holding out his hand. Tifa helped him sit comfortably against the pillows and then Cloud held the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" he said.

"Cloud!" said Leon. "Oh thank...Tifa said you were dead and then she said you were alive and..."

"Yeah, that's what Zack just told me..." said Cloud. "I don't know. Lifestream chucked me out, too, I guess."

"We're the Lifestream Reject Twins!" Zack shouted at the phone.

"Was that Zack?" said Leon.

"Uh...yeah," said Cloud. "He seems really excited that he's not the only one in the group to have gotten kicked out of the Lifestream now."

"Hm," said Leon. "Well, at least I know you're okay now. You should give Riku a call then, though. He's been trying to reach you, too."

"Oh...yeah. Riku. Yeah, sure, I'll give him a call."

"I heard you fought Sephiroth but he got away."

"Yeah...but it wasn't my fault this time."

"Yeah, I heard that, too. You'll get next time."

Cloud yawned. "I'm gonna try."

Leon chuckled. "You sound tired so I'll let you go and get back to business here. Just remember to give Riku that call."

"Okay. Good talking to you."

"Glad to hear you're alive."

"Hm..." said Cloud. "Good night."

Leon snorted. "Talk to you later."

Cloud snapped Tifa's phone shut, dropped it on the table, and slid back into a laying position on the bed. He yawned again and Zack sighed.

"He's going to sleep again now and forget everything we just told him."

"No, I'm not," said Cloud. "I'm just tired. Someone wake me later. Leon says I have to call Riku."

Zack snorted but Tifa sat on the bed by him and stroked his hair as his eyelids fluttered shut. "Okay, honey. We will," he heard her softly reply as he fell back into sleep.

-0-

Tifa woke Cloud in the early afternoon with a bland lunch and the news his phone was nowhere to be found. Both Zack and Tifa were relieved Cloud recollected the phone call with Leon this morning and his talk with Zack about what had happened since Kadaj's passing. Then he was left alone with Zack while Tifa went to attend to the bar. That was when he started to fume.

It was probably because all Cloud could do was just sit around, thinking, and talking to Zack that it started to crawl under his skin so much. Sephiroth was a bastard. Cloud was sick and tired of having to sit around every time after they met thinking that he'd get him next time. Next time just wasn't good enough anymore and he'd been so close. The circumstances this time just weren't fair. Sephiroth was just using Kadaj as a shield and now Cloud had to find him again wherever he may be hiding. Cloud didn't have the faintest idea of where to start looking, either. Eventually it just worked out that Sephiroth came to him most of the time, but Cloud wasn't willing to wait for that. This needed to end. He had had enough.

It didn't help he was bedridden. Even though he tried to focus on a conversation with Zack, his thoughts kept drifting back to Sephiroth. Cloud tried to get out of bed and move around to at least distract him from himself, but Zack followed him around while he searched for his missing cell phone like he was an invalid. He tired quickly and resigned himself to bed, more irritated than he'd been before.

"I guess you won't be able to make it to the Forgotten City tomorrow," Zack said as he helped Cloud back into bed.

"What about the Forgotten City tomorrow?" Cloud snapped.

"Nothing. Just Reno and Rude came by yesterday and said they were going out to the Forgotten City tomorrow to try and find that materia Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo were using. Rufus Shinra wants it collected and stored somewhere safe before anyone else can get to it as the first step of rebuilding Edge. Reno thought you and I might want to go along."

Cloud snorted. "What the hell would make Reno think I would want to do anything for Rufus Shinra?"

"I think Reno assumed you'd rather get your hands on it before Shinra, actually."

"What?" said Cloud, laughing. "Like steal it for myself? I'm not Yuffie."

Zack frowned. "What does Yuffie have to do with anything?"

Cloud shook his head. "Nothing. Never mind. So Reno wanted me to go along and keep the materia safe for Shinra or something?"

"That's what he was not so subtly getting at," said Zack, snickering. "You know how Reno is."

"Unfortunately."

"They were planning on going today, but since you were still in bed yesterday Rude suggested waiting another day so you might have a chance to go along."

Cloud considered for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah, okay. I'll go."

"Are you sure? You're not doing so well just moving around the room."

"I'll be all right. As long as I'm not going in there to fight Sephiroth or anything. The sooner I get out of this bed and stop thinking about everything the better."

Zack nodded in understanding. "Yeah, okay. I'll tell Tifa myself so you don't have to deal with her wrath over it later."

"I appreciate that."

"No problem."

-0-

Cloud borrowed Tifa's phone in the evening to call Riku and let him know everything that had transpired here in the past few days. It was as he told the entire story that Cloud realized just how crazy it all sounded, and after they hung up, Cloud fell right back into sleep. He woke the next morning to Zack moving around the room and dressing. He pulled his pillow over his head and moaned.

"If you want to go out to the Forgotten City today, you better get dressed," said Zack. "Reno and Rude just called to say they were on their way over."

Cloud tossed the pillow off his head and onto the floor. In pain, he pulled his body to a seated position, but in the best interest of Zack not hovering over him, pretended to be fine as he got to his feet and stretched.

"I'm getting a shower," said Cloud. "Tell Reno he's just going to have to wait on my ass."

Zack laughed. "Okay. How're you feeling today?"

"Better. I'm still sore, but other than that..."

"That's really good. Go shower, then. I'll let Reno know."

"Okay."

Cloud stepped out of the room and headed for the bathroom. Once showered and dressed, Cloud found Zack with Reno and Rude down in the bar. Reno was checking his watch every few seconds and huffing. Cloud rolled his eyes as he approached.

"Take a little longer next time," Reno snapped.

"Don't even start with me," said Cloud. "I saw you blow up Midgar Highway on me."

"Looks like someone's feeling better today," said Tifa.

"Hey, that was his idea!" Reno pointed at Rude. "And how were we supposed to know it was going to go off on you, okay? We were going for the Sephiroth triplets!"

"And I just happened to be an unfortunate casualty, right? You knew I was with them!"

"Who cares? It looked cool, right?"

Cloud stared. "Why did I ever sleep with you?"

"Probably for the same reason you keep bringing it up!"

"Now, boys," said Zack, chuckling. "Let's just play nice, okay?"

"I will if he will," said Reno.

"Oh, that's very mature," said Cloud.

"Do Cloud and Reno hate each other?" Marlene asked Tifa over by the bar. Tifa patted her head.

"Let's just go, okay?" said Reno.

"Are you sure you feel up to it, Cloud?" Tifa asked as Reno, Rude, and Zack got to their feet. Cloud looked back and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I don't know if I can handle the ride out there on my own, though."

"It is kind of far," said Tifa.

"You can ride with me," said Zack. He headed toward the garage. "Don't worry, Tifa. I'll take good care of him."

Cloud and Tifa looked at each other for a moment. She smiled; he shrugged.

"Guess I'm riding with Zack." Cloud gave Tifa a hug and kissed the top of Marlene's head. Then he headed out to the garage.

It was a long day out in the Forgotten City. Still too tired to properly ride, Cloud clung to Zack's back on the way from and back to Edge. Thankfully they found the materia early on at the base without too much arguing or strenuous searching and after a short spat, Rude was elected most trustworthy to personally transport the box of materia back to Edge. By the time they got back to Tifa's and the materia was safely stashed away from Rufus Shinra, Cloud was ready to collapse back into bed, thankful to be rid of Reno. He had a short dinner and retired upstairs early.

Reno just refused to leave Cloud alone. He came by again the next day. Since Kadaj and Bahamut had destroyed a good part of Edge—and Edge was under construction to begin with—Rufus Shinra put Reno and Rude in charge of a project devoted to rebuilding the monument, collecting volunteers, and finishing construction of the city. Then there was that small problem of fixing and rebuilding the Midgar Highway after the state it was previously in addition to what Reno and Rude had done to it. Cloud could do nothing but stare at Reno when he broke the news.

There they were—in his and Zack's room—and Reno was sitting on his bed telling him something Cloud was sure he was mishearing. Rude and Tifa watched them from the doorway; Zack sat perched on his own bed.

"I'll help," said Zack.

"I knew we could count on you, Fair," said Reno.

"Well it's not like I've got much to do around here, anyway. And at least my efforts would be put to good use, right?"

"That's the spirit! How about you, Cloud? Can we count on you?"

Cloud stared. "Not interested." By the doorway, Tifa snorted.

"Oh, come on!" said Reno. "I knew you were going to say that, but think about it again, okay? It's not like it's a real Shinra project or anything. Nothing's going to hurt the planet. There's other teams working on alternate energy sources and everything. Rude and I just in charge of construction. And it's gonna benefit those kids that live here, too. It's going to benefit everyone who lives here. All we want to do is rebuild our home and we could really use your help."

"No," said Cloud. "Absolutely not. No way am I joining the Edge Restoration Committee."

"Edge Restoration Committee..." said Reno. "You know, that doesn't sound half bad."

"Uh uh. No way. I'm not signing up for this. I will not touch a hammer, I will not drywall, and I'll be damned if I'm going anywhere near a can of paint, okay? I'm not doing it. I'm not. No six a.m. wake up calls for me. No."

Tifa snorted into her hand again. "Maybe you can pass out lunches to the volunteers," Tifa said through laughter into her hand.

"Hey, that's a good idea, too!" said Reno, turning around to look at Rude. "You guys really have this thought out. Doesn't this sound great?"

"Do whatever you want, but I'm not going to be a part of it," said Cloud.

"Oh come on, Strife," said Reno, exasperated, turning back to look at Cloud. "You're way more on top of this than me or Rude are and we could really use your help with this project. Rufus just put us in charge of this and we have no idea what we're doing."

"I'll give you my friend's number," said Cloud. "I'm sure he'll be able to help you out."

"Is this about Leon?" said Zack, jerking his thumb toward Cloud. Tifa bent over into peals of laughter again.

"C'mon, Cloud," said Tifa. "Say yes and demand your own office or something."

"I don't know if we can work that out," said Reno, "but we could use someone good with tools."

"I hope you die from lack of oxygen," Cloud said, looking at Tifa. She was clinging to the wall for support in between laughs. He glanced back to Reno. "I have nothing but bad references for you so no."

Despite protests Cloud spent the next five days healing and on the budding project that was the Edge Restoration. The next time he found him, Sephiroth was going to die.

* * *

**_Hey! Thanks everyone for reading! Look at how good I'm behaving with writing/updating! I deserve a freakin' cookie or something!_**

**_And believe it or not...Off to work on 77._**

**_If I keep this up, people aren't going to know what to do with themselves, yeah?_**

**_-AJ_**


	77. Timeout

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: [077.] Pride

**Word Count**: 4,167

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: Riku makes a pit stop in Hollow Bastion.

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing related to the Kingdom Hearts (or Final Fantasy) franchise. I'm sure it shows.

* * *

**_Step Seventy-Seven: Timeout_**

It was mid-afternoon when Riku opened a portal from the darkness into the Hollow Bastion Restoration site just outside of market. Knowing Leon, he was hard at work somewhere in this world, and now all Riku had to manage was finding him. After a brief consideration and short look around the area, he headed for Merlin's.

"I thought we'd be expecting you!" said Merlin as Riku walked in. Cid and Aerith, the only other house occupants, turned to see just who Merlin had been expecting.

"You could tell us when we're expectin' someone once in a while, ya know?" said Cid. He threw his hand over his shoulder in a short wave and turned back toward the computer screen. "Hey, kid. How ya doin'?"

"Hey, Cid," said Riku. "A little shaken up, actually, but otherwise fine."

"What happened?" said Aerith, walking over to him. She leaned forward and peered at him. "Are you okay? I heard from Tifa that Cloud's doing well."

"Yeah," said Riku, breaking eye contact and looking to the floor. "No, everything's good with Cloud. I just...Organization stuff. I was hoping to speak to Leon. D'you know where I could find him?"

"Leon just cracked into Ansem's study over at the castle," said Cid. "He's been holed up in there all mornin' tryin' to find something useful."

"I can take you there if you like," said Aerith. "Leon should take a break and I bet he'd like the company."

"Yeah," said Riku, looking around the house. He nodded at Aerith finally. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"I'm going to take him over and then I'll be back," said Aerith. Cid nodded and gave another half wave to her. They left the house and headed toward the bailey. "You seem tense," said Aerith, once a decent distance from the house. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just...having a bad day and I wanted a friend."

"So you came to see Leon."

"Yeah. Well...he's like the best friend I have right now besides Cloud, but Cloud's got his own things to worry about."

Aerith lightly laughed. "I talked to Tifa yesterday. She says Cloud's been working hard in Edge on their own restoration. Against his will, naturally, but Zack dragged him into helping."

Riku snickered. "Well at least when Cloud's irritated about construction he isn't brooding or anything so that's good."

"Did you hear about what happened with Sephiroth?"

"Yeah. I think it sucks he got away, but it's really great how close Cloud was. I don't think it's anything Cloud should be hard on himself about, anyway."

Aerith nodded. She peered at Riku as they walked and swung her arms. "So, what have you been up to? Anything new?"

"Not really. You know me...stalking Organization XIII, not wanting to help DiZ...that kind of thing."

Aerith pressed her lips together and nodded. "Hm...yeah. You know, you and Cloud are very well suited for each other."

"Oh, yeah?" said Riku. "Why's that?"

"Because neither one of you ever tells the whole truth," she answered, smiling. "But that's okay; I understand." Riku frowned, and then opened his mouth to say something, but Aerith cut him off. "Oh! Here we are! It's this entrance to the castle. Let me take you directly to the study, though you'll probably hear Leon before you see him."

Aerith hadn't been kidding. They winded through a few, vaguely familiar hallways from when Riku had been living here under Maleficent when he heard a low, pounding sound and Leon's voice unleashing an unholy string of curse words. Aerith smiled and gave him a look as if to say, 'I told you so.'

"Leon," said Aerith, opening a door. "You have a visitor." She stepped to the side and allowed Riku to enter.

"What?" said Leon, scowling as he turned, and then his eyes fell on Riku and the sneer melted. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Riku wanted to see a familiar face," said Aerith. "Well, I'll leave you two to...whatever it was you were doing. I'll be with Cid if you need me."

"Okay," said Leon, nodding. Aerith slipped from the room and once she was gone, Leon looked to Riku. "So what's up? I wasn't expecting you back here so soon."

Riku shrugged and looked around at the room's state of disarray. "Eh. I think I should be asking you what's going on. What the hell happened in here?"

Leon rolled his eyes and motioned his head toward the wall. "I've been going through Ansem's—the real Ansem's—notes and stuff. So far I've discovered he has a secret computer room..."

Riku scowled. "No," he hissed. "The secret computer interfering with our system over at Merlin's?"

"Could be," said Leon. "And if it is the system that keeps causing ours to fail, I'd really like to get to it for more reasons than one. Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to get this wall open."

"How do you know the computer room is back there?"

"This wall sounds completely hollow compared to the others, plus it's the only one without tons of stuff shoved in front of it. I can't seem to get through, though, so...I don't know. I'll figure it out later." Leon ran his hand over the wall once and then sat on the edge of Ansem's desk. "I guess that makes it your turn. What's up?"

"Eh," said Riku again. "Nothing, really. I just...I guess I just bailed on DiZ or something."

"It was only a matter of time," said Leon, nodding.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're not very good at following his orders; that's all. Why'd you bail?"

"Well the last couple of days I've been trying to find Axel, but then last night he came into the World That Never Was and then this morning...I ended up following him to Destiny Islands. He was trying to get Kairi to go somewhere with him so I had Pluto take her to Twilight Town and came here. It's really close to there, by the way. Destiny Islands. It's like a hop, skip, and a jump."

Leon raised his eyebrows as Riku shrugged again. "So you were on your home world, saw your other estranged friend for the first time, and discovered that both were closer than you could have imagined this whole time."

"Yeah," said Riku. "You know...No big deal."

"Right. So you bailed on DiZ?"

"I didn't feel like stalking Organization guys just yet. Felt like harassing you instead. Okay, actually, I felt like harassing Cloud, but I don't know where Gaea is, and it's low on places I'd like to go, so I chose to harass you instead."

"And Cloud has no phone right now," Leon added.

"Right, yeah. There's that, too."

"Want to hear something funny?"

"Yes, very much."

"Picture what Cid's face must have looked like when I told him Cloud needed a new phone made for him."

Riku snickered. "As if he doesn't have enough to do."

"Right. But I guess after everything Cloud was doing between fighting monsters and having motorcycle chases he was bound to lose something."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

Leon frowned. "Uh...okay. Sure. What?"

"I think the fact Cloud has a motorcycle is kind of hot."

Leon snorted. "You would. I think it's hysterical."

"You would," said Riku. He looked away, smiled, and then looked at Leon. "I think I made a good choice in coming here. I feel better already."

"Sometimes you just need to shoot the shit," said Leon, shrugging. "Get your mind off of things."

"Yeah."

"So...you feel like helping out around here while you're visiting and ditching your other job?"

Riku laughed. "Sure. Why not?"

"That's a good man, Riku. I knew I liked you. Now let's try to find this computer room, huh?"

"Okay."

-0-

Ansem the Wise—the real Ansem—reminded Riku strongly of DiZ. The way he organized things, documented them, and was so strategic and detail-oriented just reeked of the Twilight Town mansion's computer room. Even his blueprints and diagrams were similar to the ones DiZ had just shown Riku of the strange heart contraption yesterday morning.

Riku and Leon spent two hours in the study before they found the latch that opened the wall and led into the computer room. Riku spent two more hours with Leon looming over his shoulder as he attempted to crack into the system with no luck.

"This guy's security is tighter than DiZ's," Riku told him at the end of the two hours. "I think we should call it a night and I'll give it another try tomorrow."

"You're staying tonight?" said Leon. "Don't you have to get back?"

"Eh, eff them. I'll go back when I feel good and ready to go back."

Leon laughed. "You aren't kidding when you say you hate it there, are you?"

"Not even a little. Yeah," Riku said as he shut down the computer. "I'll take a look at this again tomorrow and maybe give Cid a hand over at Merlin's. He seems badly in need of a break and so am I."

"The Hollow Bastion Restoration is a break for you, huh?" said Leon. He pushed away the chair Riku just vacated him and followed Riku back into the study.

"Anything that doesn't involve Organization XIII is a break. I long for that computer over at Merlin's."

"Well it's all yours tomorrow," said Leon. "I'll let you have the honor of telling Cid at dinner tonight."

"Is everyone coming over?" said Riku as they headed out of the study and outside.

"Yeah, pretty much. I mean, Cloud won't be here, but that's kind of obvious."

"Right. He's in Gaea."

Leon nodded. "Yeah. I don't know when to expect him back again with him being hurt and all."

"Aerith said Zack roped him into an Edge restoration."

"Yeah, so I expect it'll be a short time before he comes running back here, sick of Reno, desperate for a phone, and actually willing to work here again. As much as he hates our restoration, I bet you anything he hates the Edge Restoration more. Not to mention Tifa drives him up a wall. The second he starts feeling healthy again he'll be on his gummi ship; I promise you."

Riku laughed. "You're probably right. That'll be nice, though, when he gets back and I can see him again."

"You really miss him, don't you?"

Riku sighed. "Oh yeah. A lot. It feels like forever since I've seen him and I don't even have the time or energy to call him everyday."

"I'm sure he misses you, too."

"Oh I'm not worried. I just miss him. I mean, it kind of freaks me out that he actually died and everything...'cause, you know, I almost lost him...but everything's okay so...and the Geostigma's gone already so that was kind of never anything to worry about, huh?"

"I told you things would work out."

Riku nodded. "Yeah, you did, but it's kind of nice how things are working themselves out, too. Mostly right now I'm thankful he's alive and that things are going smoothly with the Organization. I'm not sure how things are going to turn out, but I'm confident that whatever happens, things are going to go up from here."

Leon nodded, the hint of a smile tugging the corners of his lips. "It's nice to hear you say that."

"It's nice to feel it, too."

"I bet."

They rounded a corner in the bailey into the borough and headed for the house. Dinner passed in its usual way in Hollow Bastion with lots of craziness originating from Yuffie and Cid was considerably better company after Riku informed him of his quasi day off. After everyone went home for the night, Riku spent an hour just talking with Leon and smoking at the kitchen bar before retiring to bed.

Riku fell into the comfortable state of monotony that life was as part of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee the following day. He dealt with any and all computer problems Cid was still working on by early afternoon and then headed back over to the castle to work on the computer in Ansem's secret room again. Leon was already there when he arrived, but after several hours and he got nowhere again, they decided to head back to the house for the evening.

It was the second night in Hollow Bastion after dinner that Leon confronted him. Riku just finished cleaning up the kitchen and took a seat in the living room for a breather when Leon dropped into a seat across from him, stared him down, and said, "Okay. Talk."

"What?" said Riku.

"You haven't said a single thing about why you're here since you arrived, and for you that never means anything good. I was trying to give you time instead of pressing the issue, but you seem to have forgotten there was one, so talk."

"What are you talking about? I told you why I was here."

"Yes. You went to Destiny Islands, saw Kairi, and realized that your home world is insanely close to Twilight Town. You told me that. You just haven't talked about why you needed to come here just because of that."

"Well that's kind of obvious, isn't it? I wasn't aware I had to actually put it out there."

"If you don't put it out there, you're going to go back to DiZ with it still fermenting in that pretty little head of yours until you crack. Avoidance isn't healthy. Trust me, I know."

Riku sighed, threw his head back, and shrugged. "I don't know. It was just...I was so close to home. And it hurt so much to see everything, but it was such a relief to know it was all okay after everything I'd done to it. I don't know. It got to me. And seeing Kairi. I wanted to take her to Twilight Town myself but...Both of them—Destiny Islands and Kairi—I can't touch any of that again until I'm me again. She can't see me like this, and...I know it's my stupid pride, but I guess I just wanted a friend to talk to and a few days to pretend everything was normal again."

Leon raised his eyebrows. "I didn't expect that."

Riku frowned. "Expect what?"

"That you would call hanging out around here normal. Shouldn't it be that seeing Destiny Islands and Kairi again were normal?"

Riku considered. "I guess. Yeah. And it was, but...It's weird. You know...Part of wanting to go back to Destiny Islands now...most of it, really...It's not that I want to go home, anymore. I don't know."

"What do you mean? 'Cause this is home now?"

"Yeah. I want to go back because I want to know I didn't ruin everything. I want to see my family. I want that familiarity of home—to see my friends and just the islands themselves and everything. But when I want the comfort of home...When I don't want to worry about what people think of me and I can just relax, I guess I want to be here. You...well, everyone, but you especially...and of course Cloud...You've really made me a part of everything and made me feel welcome and this is my home now. Destiny Islands is my childhood home, this is my new home, and...It's rough. It's rough because I know I can come here, but my pride and my shame and everything...I was so close. I was in Destiny Islands but I just couldn't go just wherever I felt like because of everything I've done. I couldn't go after Kairi and it was all right there, so I'm not longing for home or anything. I just want to be me again. The person I used to be." Riku clasped his hands and stared at the carpet for a long while, listening to Leon breathe as the statement sunk in. He raised his head. "Did you know I used to be a pretty collected, chill kind of person?" Leon cracked a hint of a smile. "I didn't really stress out about much of anything. Even when I stressed out about being gay. It wasn't something I really thought about every second. I wasn't really intense or anything. It's actually kind of hard work worrying all the time. I'd like to be chill again."

"I'll take partial blame, but the rest goes to Cloud," said Leon. "We're both pretty intense people."

Riku smiled and shrugged. "If you'd like to take the blame, I won't stop you."

"Brat."

"Hey, if you think this is the first time I've been called that, you'd be surprised."

"I'm honestly not."

They stayed up for another hour before, still slightly sleep deprived and exhausted from the Axel incident, Riku headed for bed. Leon woke him the next morning at the usual hour for coffee and breakfast. After dressing, Riku grabbed his phone and the two set out for the castle's computer room again.

-0-

"I'm never going to get into that system," said Riku as he and Leon walked.

It was close to lunchtime and since all attempts to get into Ansem the Wise's computer were a bust, Leon and Riku decided to have lunch over at Merlin's. They already left the castle and were about to enter the bailey when Leon stopped walking and stared out across the spectacular view of Hollow Bastion. Riku stopped and looked back at him.

"What?" said Riku. "What's up?"

Leon waved a hand to motion Riku over and then he pointed out toward the Dark Depths. Leon lowered his head a little. "You see that?"

"See what?" Riku said. He stared across the area Leon had pointed in, and then he saw it, far out in the distance, close to the castle. "Who do you think...?"

"Come on," said Leon.

Leon led him back toward the castle and then along rock ledges higher up until they were above the area where Riku had previously seen the outline of a person. Leon took a few more steps and then crouched and motioned for Riku to come down to his level. Riku lowered onto his heels and peered forward.

"I knew it," Leon whispered. "This is fucking unbelievable."

"What?" Riku whispered back.

Leon pointed hard again and Riku swiveled his head until his eyes landed on a figure walking through the dark depths. He was tall—probably half a head taller than Riku. His figure appeared broad and strong. He had extremely long, silver hair and was dressed entirely in black. The sword he carried was the longest sword Riku had ever seen in his life. Riku swallowed.

"Who do you think he is?" Riku asked.

Leon looked at him, blinked, looked at the man, and then back at Riku. "You're kidding, right?"

"No. Why? Do you know him?"

Leon's eyes bugged and his eyebrows rose. He pointed again. "Yeah, I know him. That's Sephiroth."

It was now Riku's turn to look shocked. He looked back at the man—Sephiroth—and his stomach rolled over. _This_ was the guy Cloud had been looking for all this time? This was the guy—and that was the _sword_—that had skewered Cloud more than once and he lived to tell about it? That guy—the one Riku had just kind of been cursing Leon for taking him near because never wanted to cross blades with him in his life—was the guy Cloud had just almost finished off for good?

"You're kidding, right?" Riku now asked.

"Nope," said Leon. "We have to tell Cloud."

And now that Leon said it, Riku felt stupid. That was why Leon had taken him all the way back here to get a closer look. He thought he saw Sephiroth and needed to confirm because Cloud was looking for him and Riku had just been thinking that, too, but he completely forgot that step where telling Cloud as soon as possible was very important, too. Especially since Cloud was just fuming himself to death over the fact Sephiroth got away when they fought in Edge. Riku nodded.

"Yeah, okay. Let's go."

They were back in the borough before either one dared to speak again.

"You seriously haven't seen him before?" said Leon.

"No. I was in the realm of darkness last time Cloud fought him," said Riku. "Well, the last time before this time in Edge, I mean. He told me that Sephiroth kind of looked like me, but...I don't know. I think I pictured him...shorter or something. Not like...He's a little intimidating. I don't look like him at all."

"Kind of hard to believe Cloud's killed him before, huh?"

"Kind of," Riku replied. "Not that Cloud isn't awesome, but...yeah. I'm also having a hard time believing he's the guy that keeps trying to take off with Jenova's head. But then again I keep picturing Jenova's head like an actual head, and Cloud keeps telling me it doesn't quite look like that. Anymore."

"I try not to listen to Sephiroth story sometimes," said Leon as they entered Merlin's. "It's too weird."

"What's too weird?" said Yuffie, bouncing up to them.

"You," said Leon. He pulled out his phone. "Do you want to do it or should I?"

"Do what?" said Aerith. "Is something going on?"

"You can do it," said Riku. "I want to just sit and collect myself first."

"Okay," said Leon. He pressed a few buttons on his phone and then held it to his ear as Yuffie slid in the seat across from him at the table. She looked between Riku and Leon. "Hey, Tifa, can I talk to Cloud?"

"What's going on?" said Yuffie.

"Not while I'm on the phone," said Leon. "Be quiet. No, not you, Tifa. It's Yuffie." He paused. "Well I would have called Cloud directly, but he doesn't have a phone right now, does he?"

Cid made an irritated, huffing sound as Leon paused again.

"Tifa," said Leon, "I'm very sorry I called your phone just to talk to Cloud, okay?" He paused again. "Fine. Then what's Zack's number? Could someone give me a piece of paper or something?"

Aerith grabbed a paper and pen off a nearby shelf and shoved it Leon. He took down the number, said goodbye, flipped the phone shut, and opened it again.

"What's going on?" said Aerith. "Why do you have to talk to Cloud?"

"Hold on," said Leon, holding up a hand as he held the phone to his ear. Yuffie huffed; Aerith sighed. "Zack, it's Leon. Is Cloud there with you?" He paused. "Can I speak to him for a second?" Everyone stared at Leon as he waited, and then he said, "You're a hard asshole to get a hold of, you know that?"

Riku laughed. He knew it just as well as anyone.

"Yeah, well, I was just calling to let you know that Riku and I were out at the castle this morning...Yeah, Riku's here...He's been here since the day before yesterday. If you called your boyfriend you would know these things. It's not like he can call you without your damn phone, but you know, we've already been through how hard you are to get hold of." Leon sighed and listened as Cloud replied. He looked at Riku and rolled his eyes. "He came because he wanted to talk about some stuff and...geez, Cloud, this isn't the point of why I was trying to call you. Let me tell you what I need to and then you can talk to Riku all you like."

Riku smiled, straightened, and looked around the room. "He loves me."

"He must," said Yuffie. "He never wants to talk to us this much."

Leon shushed them, waved a hand, and turned his back to them. "Okay, so Riku and I were up at the castle this morning and decided to head back to Merlin's for lunch and you wouldn't believe who we saw out in the Dark Depths on the way back."

"Who?" said Yuffie, and presumably, Cloud.

"Sephiroth," said Leon.

On the other end even from across the room Riku heard Cloud's voice go off into a string of unintelligible syllables.

"You're kidding me," said Aerith. "He's here?"

"Yeah," said Riku. "Leon and I were walking back and Leon saw him. He had to point him out to me because I've never seen him before..."

Leon shushed them again. "Yeah, okay. Cloud. Cloud?" Leon flipped his phone shut. "He hung up on me. He also said he'd be here as soon as he could sneak away."

"Sneak?" said Riku.

"I don't know," said Leon. "He wasn't even making sense. Something about Reno and Tifa and...I don't know. He said he'd be here and he hung up on me. Whatever. So, Aerith, what's for lunch?"

-0-

Pluto showed up just after lunch and Riku bid a hasty goodbye to Leon before opening a portal into the darkness and following Pluto all the way to Twilight Town.

* * *

**_There's another chapter, bitches, and I ain't even playin'._**

**_Go on. Continue._**


	78. Of Impulse and Explosions

**Title**: 100 Steps to Somewhere

**Fandom**: Kingdom Hearts

**Claim**: Cloud/Riku

**Theme**: [078.] Greed

**Word Count**: 3,612

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: It was best to keep them out of it. Cloud was done.

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing related to the Kingdom Hearts (or Final Fantasy) franchise. I'm sure it shows.

**Author's Note**: That's right, bitches. I'm not done yet.

* * *

**_Step Seventy-Eight: Of Impulse and Explosions_**

Reno was a selfish, greedy little prick and Cloud hated him for it. It had been six days since they returned from the Forgotten City, materia in tow, and five since Reno and Rude broke the unsettling news about the Edge Restoration. Zack was having a merry time, waking around six and dragging Cloud with him to the monument site by seven. Cloud tried to tell them repeatedly that he wanted nothing to do with this, but Reno insisted. Zack wanted the company while he did something productive, because nothing really got Zack going like feeling useful now that he was alive again. Tifa either laughed about the whole situation or told Cloud she thought the menial work would be good to get his mind off Sephiroth. So he had no choice. He had to go. And did anyone care that Cloud had just had a bullet through his chest only a little over a week ago? Not really.

And now that he came to it, they all sucked, really. Greedy, selfish bastards that just wanted Cloud to do all the work they could squeeze out of him while he was here without worrying once if he was feeling all right. Sure, Tifa asked every now and then, but Reno hadn't asked once, and Zack stopped asking once he started becoming annoyed with Cloud's constant whining. Not that he was whining, but if he was, Cloud had earned it, damnit, so Zack could just shut his mouth.

Zack, it appeared, also had a short fuse when it came to Cloud's ability with a hammer.

"I don't get it," Zack asked on morning five of Edge Restoration work. "How can your aim be so bad?"

"It's just like I've been trying to tell you," said Cloud. "I suck with tools. Ask Tifa why she's been laughing about me doing this every freaking day, okay?"

"But you're so good with First Tsurugi, and..."

"This is how it is, so pay attention. Hammer and nail? Requires way more accuracy than swinging First Tsurugi at Sephiroth, okay?"

"I understand that. You're just so fucking helpless."

"I told you I didn't want to do this. Don't get annoyed with me now. You thought it was such a good idea to help..."

"Are we bickering again?" said Reno, walking up behind them. "That monument isn't going to finish itself."

"Fuck off, Reno," said Zack.

"I think the power's gone to his head," Cloud muttered.

"Really."

"I just think you should put more effort into it considering you are the one who had a large part in destroying it, Strife," Reno went on, ignoring the comment.

"How about I put in the effort when I see you fixing Midgar Highway?"

"Would you stop about that already? It looked cool, okay? And Midgar Highway was already unfinished so it's not like the explosion set us back that much."

"You almost killed me."

"Who cares? Lifestream would've just chucked you out anyway, right?"

"That isn't the point. And as far as I understand, this monument wasn't really finished, either. And what's the point, anyway? Shouldn't we be working on more useful things? Like finishing all the freaking office buildings around here so Rufus Shinra can get down to business already or something? How is that asshole doing, anyway, since he fell off that roof after Kadaj, wheelchair and all?"

Reno scowled. "That's not a very positive attitude, Strife."

"Yeah, Spike, you're bringing down the atmosphere," said Zack, chuckling. "And don't talk about Rufus Shinra like that. You know it makes Reno cry."

"And I expected a better attitude from you, Fair."

"Aw, I'm just playing," said Zack. He gave Reno a light shove. "I know your love for Rude far outweighs your love for Shinra. You two are still fucking, right?"

Reno crossed his arms and scowled. "It isn't like that."

"Oh, right," said Zack. He mimicked zippering his mouth. "I got it. You want it kept on the DL. Don't worry, buddy. I won't tell anyone."

"Just get back to work," Reno snapped and stomped away.

"I think I may have upset him," Zack said, grinning.

Cloud snorted. "He deserves it. Reno and Rude are just unnatural."

"You would think so. It doesn't help you hate his guts, either."

"I hate Reno a lot less when he isn't trying to get up my ass about things."

"I thought you like it when Reno gets up your ass," said Zack, winking.

"Don't turn your innuendos on me just because Reno walked away."

"But it's true, isn't it?"

"I fucked him, okay?" Cloud hissed. "It was not the other way around. And let's just drop it already."

"I'm sorry! I think you and Reno going at it is hysterical. I can practically hear the sweet nothings you must have whispered to each other."

"It wasn't like that."

"I just wish you would have like...video taped it...or something. That's high quality entertainment."

"You have problems. Let's just work on the fucking monument before he comes back."

"I thought you have personal objections about working on the monument."

"The monument is stupid. It's pointless and our time would be better spent working on more practical things than a stupid monument. But since Bahamut destroyed it and Rufus Shinra cries himself to sleep at night over the loss of its significance enough to put Reno on the job of making sure it's repaired, we don't have a choice." Cloud knelt down and shuffled through the toolbox. "Now which one am I supposed to use?"

Zack laid a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "Why don't you just sit down before you hurt yourself?"

"Because Reno feels we have developed a close enough relationship that leaves me entitled to work for him in his time of need," said Cloud. He rolled his eyes.

"You know you could have avoided encouraging that assumption by not sleeping with him."

"Fuck off."

"I'm just saying..."

"He was like this before I slept with him, okay? We kept crossing paths through the whole Sephiroth disaster and when it was all over...you know, the first time...Reno decided that we were now friends and it's been this way ever since. The smartest thing I ever did was get sex out of it."

"The smartest thing?"

Cloud huffed. "Okay, maybe not the smartest thing, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, the point is that he'd be like this whether I had fucked him or not. You cross paths with the guy a few times and you're his new best friend; that's just how Reno is. Now show me what freakin' tool I'm supposed to use before he comes back here because he's watching us now."

Zack snorted, looked at Reno, pointed at Rude, and mimed shoving a cock in his mouth. Reno glared and quickly turned away. Zack laughed. "Problem solved. Now chill out."

"That was disgusting."

"Would you stop your bitching? I took care of Reno and now I'm going to take care of the monument. Why don't you just go see what else you can work on that's more purposeful to you or something?"

"Because then you'll bitch about me abandoning you and how you had to resort to talking to yourself all day or something equally stupid."

Zack sighed. "You know, Reno does have a point. You're being a miserable son of a bitch and you really need to lighten up or something. Be happy. Go. Now."

Cloud looked up glared. "I'm happy. See how fucking happy I am? I am so happy to be stuck in Edge with a healing bullet wound in my chest working on a stupid Shinra monument while Sephiroth could be fucking anywhere. I'm so happy I could shit myself."

"I told you to find another project if you hate this one so much."

"Yes. Because that will take me one step closer to my ultimate happiness in destroying Sephiroth."

Zack rolled his eyes and looked away. "Why don't you go back to Tifa's then? Or Hollow Bastion? Or something? No one's forcing you to be here."

"I'm going to have to disagree with you on that one."

Zack turned back and glared. "No. No one is holding a gun to your head and telling you to be here. If there's somewhere else you'd rather be, just go and stop hanging around here being a miserable bastard. I've had enough trying to make you chill out, and I'm sick of your fucking attitude. I'm sorry Sephiroth got away, but it isn't my fault and it isn't Reno's fault, so take out your aggravation somewhere else or just shut the hell up."

Cloud sneered. "Fuck you."

"No. Fuck you, you miserable shit! What Reno is trying to do for Edge is actually really good for the people living here. I'm sorry if you can't see that. And I'm here because I want to help. I know you have issues with this world, but there are some people who call this home. They need this. Everything isn't about you and your shit, Cloud. So stop being such an ass or get the hell out of here."

Cloud just sat there, glaring at Zack, but Zack paid him no mind and got back to work. After a moment of silence in which Cloud fumed over Zack talking to him like such a prick, Zack's phone rang.

"Hello?" said Zack. He paused and then glared down at Cloud. "Yeah, he's here. What's up?" Zack paused again and then said, "Yeah, sure. Hold on a sec." He thrust the phone. "It's for you. Leon."

Cloud gave Zack a chilling stare and took the phone. "Hey. What's up?"

"You're a hard asshole to get a hold of, you know that?" said Leon.

"I'm not really in the mood for this," said Cloud.

"Yeah, well, I was just calling to let you know that Riku and I were out at the castle this morning..."

Cloud perked up, a little irritation fading away. "Riku's in Hollow Bastion?" Somewhere out of his peripheral vision, Zack looked back and scowled.

"Yeah, Riku's here..." said Leon.

"How is he? How long has he been there?"

Leon sighed. "He's been here since the day before yesterday. If you called your boyfriend you would know these things. It's not like he can call you without your damn phone, but you know, we've already been through how hard you are to get hold of."

"Leon, please don't give me this shit, okay? I don't have a phone to call him, and I'm not going to ask Tifa for hers any time soon so I just wanted to know what was up with my boyfriend. You know, why he's in Hollow Bastion, what he's up to, how he is..."

"He came because he wanted to talk about some stuff and...geez, Cloud, this isn't the point of why I was trying to call you. Let me tell you what I need to and then you can talk to Riku all you like."

Cloud sighed. "Yeah, okay. I'd rather talk to him directly, anyway. So what's up?"

"Okay, so Riku and I were up at the castle this morning and decided to head back to Merlin's for lunch and you wouldn't believe who we saw out in the Dark Depths on the way back."

Cloud sighed. "Who?"

"Sephiroth."

It took a second to sink in and then Cloud said, "Son of a fucking bitch, cock sucker mother fucker. You're fucking kidding me. Okay. Fine. Look, Reno's all up my ass and Tifa's been pissing me off and don't even get me started on Zack, so you know, I'll be there as soon as I can sneak away."

"Yeah, okay," said Leon, and with that, Cloud snapped the phone shut. He handed it back to Zack.

"Don't even get you started on me, huh?" said Zack.

"Shut up. I'm still not fucking happy with you."

"What was the call about?"

"Nothing. Leon just needs me back in Hollow Bastion."

"So you're heading back there?"

"At some point, yeah. Why?"

Zack regarded him for a moment and then shrugged. "Just curious. You better tell Tifa before you take off, though. She'll be pissed if you just leave without telling anyone."

"Yeah, right," said Cloud.

He stared up at the sky as Zack got back to work. Sephiroth was in Hollow Bastion. Son of a fucking bitch.

-0-

"Zack said you were in a bad mood today," said Tifa as they sat down to dinner that evening. Zack averted his eyes.

"Reno's kind of getting under his skin," said Zack.

"He also said you got a call from Leon. What was that about?"

Cloud knew he could tell them the call was about Sephiroth and they'd understand when he took off, but the last thing he wanted was someone volunteering to come along for moral support. Tifa was likely to tell him to take some time before flying over there with his wounds only freshly healed. Zack would agree and then he'd be held here in Edge even longer than he'd like, at Reno's mercy, and on edge with all of his friends. Cloud sighed.

"Nothing," he said. "Leon's just got a lot to do and he wants me to come back to help. That and he's probably badly in need of some company other than Yuffie."

"Riku's there, too, right?" said Zack. He lifted his eyebrows in a knowing gesture. Tifa frowned.

"So were you planning on going back to see Riku or something?" she said. "Because he'll probably be gone by the time you get there."

"Are you leaving already, Cloud?" said Marlene. She pouted.

"I already told you Leon asked me to come. It has nothing to do with Riku," said Cloud. He looked pointedly at Tifa. "And if I wanted to go back to see Riku, I don't see how there's anything wrong with that. Sure, he'll probably be gone by the time I get there, but he's been in Hollow Bastion twice since I've been here so he'll show up there again eventually."

"I don't know why you can't just help out here," said Tifa. "Leon's got plenty of people to help him out in Hollow Bastion and Reno only just got the Edge Restoration started. Besides, Denzel and Marlene like you around."

There was nothing that irritated Cloud more than when Tifa tried to use the kids to get him to stay. He frowned.

"I don't really want to work on the Edge Restoration, okay? I hate this place and if I have to be working on some stupid project, I'd rather be doing it with people I care about."

"So you don't care about us?"

"That's not what I said."

"Yes, you did. You hate Edge and you'd rather not do anything with us because you don't care, right?"

"I don't care about Reno or Rude or Shinra. I didn't mean you."

"Then what's up, Cloud? Just stay around here and help out. We like having you here. If you don't want to help out with the Restoration, don't, but you could stick around. Besides, what if Sephiroth shows up around here again?"

Cloud rolled his eyes. "What if he doesn't? Listen, I don't have anything against you, or Zack, and I love Marlene and Denzel, but I just want to get out of here, okay? I hate being here because of personal reasons and you know that. Just let me get out of here for me, okay?"

"For you?" said Tifa. "For you. Are you serious? Everything's about what you want or you need! Do you know how hard it is for everyone when you're gone? Or how we feel when you just blow us off? You come here for a little while and then you just take off right away without caring or even thinking about how it affects us! Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?"

"Excuse me?" said Cloud. "Are you kidding me? Do you ever think about how your guilt trips get to me? Or how much pressure you put on me all the time to hang around this stupid place or come back here when I don't want to be here? Do you ever consider how many bad memories I have here or that I come to this place I hate so much just to see you half the time?"

"Oh, be real. You come back for Sephiroth!"

"Every time I've come back here hasn't been for Sephiroth," said Cloud. "I guess you haven't noticed that!"

"Yeah, maybe once in a while, but how often do we have to chase after you, huh? And you never stay when we ask you to! All you care about is what you want to do! You don't care about Marlene or Denzel wanting you here or that I might want you here! You take off all the time, even when you're still in this world! And what about the way you've been treating Zack just because _you're_ worried it might upset Riku?"

"Oh, don't you even bring Riku into this!" said Cloud. He pounded the table. "That's fucking unfair! The entire way you treat me is unfair! You have this bizarre preoccupation with keeping me around here as long as you can possibly manage without having any gratitude I come to visit in the first place!"

"We're friends, Cloud. I shouldn't have to have gratitude for a friend visiting me!"

"You know what, Tifa? You're right. We are friends. That's it! And friends don't have to go through this kind of shit I have to go through! Friends visit friends for a day or a week, but you want to keep me here for fucking years catering to you and the kids! And now you want me catering to Zack, too, just to make him feel better about everything that happened!"

"Cloud..."

"No, Tifa. It's fucking weird the way you try to keep me here, and I'm sorry if you're still in love with me, but it is! You're constantly up my ass about things, acting like I should be here all the time because I have to be! But guess what? I don't! I'm not your boyfriend! I never was! I don't have to be here in this stupid world for you! And I'm not his boyfriend anymore, either!" Cloud jerked his head toward Zack and then looked right at him. "Yeah, that's right. I'm not. And I'm not going to be ever again!" Zack shook his head and looked away, but Cloud looked right back at Tifa and kept going. "And you know what else? I'm not their father! Marlene and Denzel aren't my kids! They never were! Vincent is way more of a father to them than I am! And I acknowledge that I was living here when they first came to stay with you, but I'm not anymore! I have my own life and I'd like to just live it without you constantly guilting me! I can't take it anymore, Tifa! I know you mean well and I love you to death but you need to just let me go instead of trying to hold me hostage here!"

Tifa pressed her lips together, looked down at the table, and then looked back up. "Cloud, I think you should go calm down before you say anything else you might regret," she said, calmly. "You're way out of line and I don't appreciate it, especially in front of the kids."

Cloud could do nothing but stare at her and shake his head. He took a breath. "Fine. I'm going to bed. Please do me a favor and don't wake me."

Tifa folded her hands in her lap. "Good night, Cloud."

He turned from the table and stormed upstairs.

-0-

It was eerily quiet downstairs for the rest of the night as Cloud lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling, fuming. The only thing he regretted was losing it in front of Marlene and Denzel, but he couldn't help it. He was so sick and tired of Tifa acting like he was her goddamn husband or something, and then there was Zack acting like Cloud owed him something, and he was just at the end of his goddamn patience. Perhaps he had overreacted, but Cloud just couldn't be calm right now when he was already fuming about Sephiroth. And maybe he was being selfish, but Cloud felt like such a child under Tifa's watch, and he just couldn't kiss her ass anymore just to make her fucking happy. Clearly nothing he did was right and therefore was no good for them, anyway. It was best to just keep his distance and eventually they'd realize it was for the best. He was done.

He pretended to be asleep when Zack came up to bed and stayed that way, staring quietly into the dark until Zack was snoring and surely asleep. He waited another hour and then snuck out the bedroom door, prepared to pretend he was heading to the bathroom in case Tifa, Vincent, or one of the kids caught him wandering the house this late at night. When the house remained quiet, he took the stairs down to the bar, scribbled a quick note to explain he was leaving, and then headed out of the house on foot. Fenrir would be too loud and sure to wake someone and Cloud decided he'd just have to have good faith she'd still be around if he ever returned to retrieve her.

It was close to one in the morning when Cloud boarded his gummi ship and set course for Hollow Bastion.

* * *

**_So thank you to everyone who reviewed one (or all) of the last five chapters that I super awesomely posted in a short amount of time (is proud)._**

**_I'm so sorry for the Advent Children chapters but they were truly the hardest chapters I have EVER written in my ENTIRE life. For more reasons than one. And I'm sorry for anything that felt rushed but after not writing for a few months, I get rusty again, so my humblest apologies._**

**_And I'm so glad people liked Riku with Demyx in the Underworld. You know I had to do it. I just had to. And ChibiFrubaGirl...about that Leon/Sora...maybe. Because it's no secret I love Leon/Sora, is it? And Leon has to have someone, right? Right? Ahem..._**

**_And thanks for all the cookies! I so earned them!_**

**_I am so proud of myself I could just giddily jump around right now!_**

**_Or maybe that's all the coffee._**

**_Love._**

**_-AJ (Still love my new nickname! Use it to your hearts content!)_**

**_P.S. I so rock right now!_**


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